The Myth of the Modern Teenager Part 1
Yesterday, we were privileged to get to hear CS Hayden preach at our home church while we were visiting our family. His sermon was: Plants Grown Up in Their Youth: An Examination of Historical, Cultural, and Scriptural Views of Maturity and Development and he shared the Biblical pattern for young people and how we have digressed.
It was very timely for us as my husband and I have been discussing this topic ever since we listened to The Role of Children in the Meeting of the Church (highly recommended!).
There is this prevalent myth that between the ages of 10-20 or thereabouts all children will become selfish, self-serving, irresponsible, independent, and disrespectful creatures. I have heard Christian parents say with this sort of awful forboding look, "I have teenagers." Like, I am supposed to feel very sorry and sympathetic with them because of it. What is wrong with our society today? Every time I hear something like this, it breaks my heart.
But, when I look at the "modern teenager" I have a clue why parents feel this way. Most "teenagers" are selfish, self-serving smoochers. All they live for is themselves. All they care about is themselves.
Does it have to be this way? NO!
In Biblical times, children were considered adults when they turned 13. There was never this "in-between" age. When they were old enough to contribute, they were required to contribute.
As CS Hayden said, "Adolescence is a cultural product."
Steven J. Hayhow says:
"We need to understand whence the idea of adolescence originated. Essentially, our largely humanistic culture and society leads us to expect it, and to look for it as a trait of normality. So much so that children that fail to produce the characteristics are classified as abnormal. Teenagers are almost programmed to expect that in their teenage years they will become moody, difficult, and that their parents won't understand them. They are told (especially through the youth culture, the media, teenage magazines, and the state school system) that this will happen and that it is perfectly normal. Moreover, they are told, "There is nothing you can do about it. It is really just part of your development. You are just expressing your desire for independence from parental authority."
It was very timely for us as my husband and I have been discussing this topic ever since we listened to The Role of Children in the Meeting of the Church (highly recommended!).
There is this prevalent myth that between the ages of 10-20 or thereabouts all children will become selfish, self-serving, irresponsible, independent, and disrespectful creatures. I have heard Christian parents say with this sort of awful forboding look, "I have teenagers." Like, I am supposed to feel very sorry and sympathetic with them because of it. What is wrong with our society today? Every time I hear something like this, it breaks my heart.
But, when I look at the "modern teenager" I have a clue why parents feel this way. Most "teenagers" are selfish, self-serving smoochers. All they live for is themselves. All they care about is themselves.
Does it have to be this way? NO!
In Biblical times, children were considered adults when they turned 13. There was never this "in-between" age. When they were old enough to contribute, they were required to contribute.
As CS Hayden said, "Adolescence is a cultural product."
Steven J. Hayhow says:
"We need to understand whence the idea of adolescence originated. Essentially, our largely humanistic culture and society leads us to expect it, and to look for it as a trait of normality. So much so that children that fail to produce the characteristics are classified as abnormal. Teenagers are almost programmed to expect that in their teenage years they will become moody, difficult, and that their parents won't understand them. They are told (especially through the youth culture, the media, teenage magazines, and the state school system) that this will happen and that it is perfectly normal. Moreover, they are told, "There is nothing you can do about it. It is really just part of your development. You are just expressing your desire for independence from parental authority."
posted by Crystal Paine at 2:17 PM
8 Comments:
I would like to say my 2 cents worth about this subject since it is near and not-so-dear to my heart....I realize now that as parents we have a HUGE responsibility in training our children - I could go on for years about this because I have "been there, done that." But I also think it is a total shame that the church is in cahoots with the rest of the world regarding "teens". Youth groups, youth pastors, retreats, "self-help" classes....it is pathetic that the leaders of most churches aren't well versed enough from a Biblical standpoint to avoid the pitfalls of the modern-day-church-o-rama of youth programs. Not only does it undermine the parents authority, but it makes it ok for the parents to sign-off on thier responsibility because it is "too hard" for them to handle.
I have seen the rewards of such choices personally. It grieves me everyday to think I helped my oldest son to a place that I hoped he would never be - an unbeliever. And guess what?? The church helped me get him there too.
I stumbled upon your blog. We are a Christian homeschool family as well. :-)
I'm looking forward to having "teenage daughters". I'm sure they will be just as much a delight and a joy as they are now. :)
Great post!
THANK YOU! I love reading what others write on teens. I have 2 and another pre-teen following close behind. I so dislike society's outlook and acceptance of what teens are suppose to be like. I'd I am even more saddened when Christians accept it as well.
I'm looking forward to Part 2!
Thankyou Crystal!
A subject near to my heart too.
As an unmarried young woman, I know that I had my struggles to keep rebellion etc. out of my heart! But I was convicted at a young age (12 or thereabouts) that obedience to parents was commanded in Scripture and that rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft (pretty strong language!), thus I determined to submit to my parents authority, no matter how hard it was. I could see the way of the 'modern teenager', and did not wish to be identified with it at all!
Of great importance is childhood training, teaching the Word of God, and the working of the Holy Spirit in each child/young person that they would delight to live to please the Lord!
Joyann
What did you do for fun? What would be considered rebellion to your parents? What would happen if you showed dissent or disagreement about anything?
Greetings in Christ!!
We have three teenage sons and they are absolutely delightful to be with, work with and learn with. Training them has been a great adventure led by the Lord and it is exciting to witness their development towards manhood. We pray for the young ladies that God is raising up to be their helpmeets (if it is His will that they be married!) and know that He has a plan!!
Blessings to all! Leona
Hi,
I just found your blog, and your post about teenagers in our culture is so true. Even though I am an American, I grew up overseas. I was a teenager in the 70s, when America was going through the hippie era and the feminist revolution. Thankfully, I wasn't under the pressures most teenagers were in during during those days. Where we lived, young adults were not referred to as "teenagers" or any other name which meant difficult years, or any other negative term. However, we did have some American friends. Their teenagers didn't mix well with the rest. Why? Because they were SO rebellious. Their idea of fun was to party, drink, and all the rest...
Did we have fun? Very much so. We weren't pressured into dating - it wasn't a part of the culture to do so. Groups of us would get together and play sports/games, go to the beach and do the same there... We would have cookouts, go hiking, biking, do community projects... But most of the time, we were kept very busy with school because the educational system wasn't dumbed down.
Of course there were a few who were troubled. Usually this was related to problems with the parents. But normally, the family wasn't under as much pressure as it is here in America today or even back then. The constant bombardment coming from every direction, including the church is very difficult to stand up against.
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