Life in a Large Family
I was blessed to be raised in a family of nine. I'm the second oldest of seven children ranging in age from 27 to 6. Growing up, we received more than a fair amount of stares and jeers, but we were never embarrassed or bothered by it. In fact, I can't imagine life in a small family. My parents are the greatest and I'm so thankful for them. I know so many women who's goal in life is to the opposite of their mother. I'd give just about anything to be as wonderful as my mom.
A few blessings of growing up in a large family:
We grew up with our own built-in social circle. Anyone who has met and interacted with my family knows that we are all best friends. We are still very, very close today, even though thousands of miles separate some of us.
We learned to work hard and be unselfish. Everyone learned to pitch in and do their part. Everyone had to cooperate, share, and help for life to run smoothly. We also learned to get along with "difficult people." In a family of nine, you are not always going to get your way. It's great to learn this while you are young, because this is how life works.
We were well-prepared for life. My mom had each of us take responsibility for laundry, ironing, cleaning, cooking, and so forth, for a time so that we could learn how to do it well. When I got married, I didn't have to learn anything-- I knew how to cook, clean, keep house, grocery shop, budget, iron, do laundry, mend, and so forth. Married life was a very easy transition for me because I'd already been practicing my homemaking skills for so long. I also knew how to take care of children and teach children since I'd had plenty of experience doing so.
Was my family perfect? By no means. Was it hard for my parents to have seven children instead of two? Of course. There were always challenges and difficulties. But, I can promise you that the rewards have far, far exceeded the difficulties. My parents only planned to have two children in the beginning. After my sister and I were born, my parents decided they would have one more, since they really wanted a boy. It was around that time that the Lord changed their hearts to realize that "Children are an heritage of the Lord." They began praying that the Lord would bless them with many children.
Today, they look back and think how terribly quiet and sad their lives would be if they didn't still have a house bustling with life and activity. We always laugh about how they would sit at their little dining room table in a completely quiet house. Instead, the dining room table seats 8 and every meal is quite lively-- three people talking at once (you should hear us get going when our whole family is together! It's nonstop chatter!), someone asking for something to be passed, Mom and Dad are constantly up and down getting things, etc. And they love it! They wouldn't trade their life for anyone's.
Edit: Please don't think I am saying that you can only learn these qualities if you have a large family. I'm just saying that it is a lot easier to learn to be unselfish. For instance, when we were going through marriage counselling, the pastor was talking about how we would need to learn to "die to self" and not have things done our way when we got married. He was mentioning how maybe one of us rolls up the toothpaste tube and the other person likes to have it twisted. I chuckled and said, "I share a bathroom with four girls, if we have the lid on our toothpaste tube, we're doing really good." Honestly, after sharing a room and a bathroom with 2 or more people for most of my life, being married was a "piece of cake." :)
A few blessings of growing up in a large family:
We grew up with our own built-in social circle. Anyone who has met and interacted with my family knows that we are all best friends. We are still very, very close today, even though thousands of miles separate some of us.
We learned to work hard and be unselfish. Everyone learned to pitch in and do their part. Everyone had to cooperate, share, and help for life to run smoothly. We also learned to get along with "difficult people." In a family of nine, you are not always going to get your way. It's great to learn this while you are young, because this is how life works.
We were well-prepared for life. My mom had each of us take responsibility for laundry, ironing, cleaning, cooking, and so forth, for a time so that we could learn how to do it well. When I got married, I didn't have to learn anything-- I knew how to cook, clean, keep house, grocery shop, budget, iron, do laundry, mend, and so forth. Married life was a very easy transition for me because I'd already been practicing my homemaking skills for so long. I also knew how to take care of children and teach children since I'd had plenty of experience doing so.
Was my family perfect? By no means. Was it hard for my parents to have seven children instead of two? Of course. There were always challenges and difficulties. But, I can promise you that the rewards have far, far exceeded the difficulties. My parents only planned to have two children in the beginning. After my sister and I were born, my parents decided they would have one more, since they really wanted a boy. It was around that time that the Lord changed their hearts to realize that "Children are an heritage of the Lord." They began praying that the Lord would bless them with many children.
Today, they look back and think how terribly quiet and sad their lives would be if they didn't still have a house bustling with life and activity. We always laugh about how they would sit at their little dining room table in a completely quiet house. Instead, the dining room table seats 8 and every meal is quite lively-- three people talking at once (you should hear us get going when our whole family is together! It's nonstop chatter!), someone asking for something to be passed, Mom and Dad are constantly up and down getting things, etc. And they love it! They wouldn't trade their life for anyone's.
Edit: Please don't think I am saying that you can only learn these qualities if you have a large family. I'm just saying that it is a lot easier to learn to be unselfish. For instance, when we were going through marriage counselling, the pastor was talking about how we would need to learn to "die to self" and not have things done our way when we got married. He was mentioning how maybe one of us rolls up the toothpaste tube and the other person likes to have it twisted. I chuckled and said, "I share a bathroom with four girls, if we have the lid on our toothpaste tube, we're doing really good." Honestly, after sharing a room and a bathroom with 2 or more people for most of my life, being married was a "piece of cake." :)
posted by Crystal Paine at 2:20 PM
8 Comments:
These are the things I love to read on your site. :-D
I have had great dinners with my family, even though there are only five of us. Usually there are extra guests and family members too.
I am an only child and honestly I wish I had had brothers and sisters because you don't have siblings to play with and grow close to.
But I do have to say that I was also taught to cook, clean, mend, write thank-you notes and to not be selfish--I had to write a thank-you note for ANY gift I received and if I didn't I wasn't allowed to keep the gift. Just because you are an only child doesn't mean that you have to grow up to be spoiled and selfish. I was also taught to take care of children. I have been taking care of kids since I was 9! I babysat for one family from age 12-18 every week. I also learned very early how to relate well with adults.
Given a choice I would have had siblings....but I still was able to learn good things and live a good life without them. Don't generalize too much....just because I was an only child it doesn't mean I got EVERYTHING I wanted and got my way on everything.
~~Mrs. B~~
Those are all excellent qualities. I do think anyone from any family size could leran them though.
Apparently I could learn to type though.
Mrs. B
My mom was raised as an only child. Her two siblings were adults when she was born and out of the house.
I wasn't saying earlier that only children are spoiled but that there is this idea that you can only have a few kids today because they need so much more material things.
My mom did just fine being an only child and is well adjusted.
I hope you weren't offended by my prefious comments.
-Zan
Zan you're such a sweetie! I enjoy reading what you write. No, I wasn't offended at all by what you said....I wasn't addressing your comments specifically, I was addressing the comments I've heard my WHOLE life which are 'only children grow up to be spoiled and selfish'. It doesn't have to be that way and I've known people with large families that have selfish and spoiled kids. I think a large family can be a blessing but I also think a small one can be too.
One benefit we are finally beginning to see of having a large family (we have 5 children):
We usually have a WIDE variety of ice cream flavors on hand, and it gets eaten before it goes bad. :-D It's like living at 31 Flavors or something.
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