Encouragement for Single Moms
I know there are some single mom blog readers here and I can't imagine what your life must be like! I received a lovely email from Raylene, a single homeschooling mother the other day, and she included a link to her blog, which I enjoyed visiting. I especially appreciated her post on being a single mom and a keeper at home.
posted by Crystal Paine at 3:50 PM
8 Comments:
While I have zero problem with people getting section 8 housing, food stamps, Medicaid etc… I do tend to think they need to be working or, at the least, looking for work. While I can congratulate this mother in fulfilling her dream to be a stay-at-home mother my personal moral beliefs would not allow me to get government assistant without working. Since government programs won't grant assistance to those who refuse to work, I would find the most honest thing to do would be to find a job. Those programs are designed with the idea that you will work or look for work. (Hence the name “welfare to work”)
Personally I feel I could stay-at-home as a single mother right now if I felt it was best. I could work second shift full or part- time. That way I would be with my son all day and work evenings/nights. The problem with my idea is that it won't work for those who don't have someone to watch the kids while they are at work.
If I could be honest with DSS about my decision not to work, I don’t know that I could still accept the help. After all I hate to think of all those taxpayers that would object to my living off them while they struggle too. (Just look at Candy’s husband’s blog http://freedom.lifewithchrist.org/.I don’t agree with it, but it goes to how angry tax payers can get at welfare moms/dads)
Nonetheless, this woman is only doing what she feels is right which is commendable.
My oldest son's birthmom is only 22 and she has a 4 year old daughter. She grew up in the welfare system (back when a woman could get a bigger check for having more babies) and she refuses to participate. Oz's birthmom works fulltime, utilizes the resources available to her (Focus Hope) and researched the best preschools for her daughter. She struggles with basic living in the innercity with no family support but she absolutely tries so hard! I always commend her for working to be independent rather than relying on programs that create dependency.
I completly agree that the Church needs to commit itself, really, to caring for orphans and widows/single mothers (James somewhere). Are there any para-church programs that exist for this purpose? ...Any churches that coordinate their congregations in the effort to provide care for single-parent families? (especially for unwed mothers?) It would be GREAT to know about such programs. The Church needs them!
...as a matter of fact, I think this is an ideal issue for a post on my blog: suggestions for the church's ministry to single-parent homes.
My dad was a single parent. My folks divorced when I was four. I don't really remember it and they made sure that neither me or my brother would think it was our fault.
He worked very hard and we went through alot of babysitters but we never went on welfare or foodstamps or anything like that. This was when food stamps look like paper and it wasn't on a debit card.
I'm glad he is my dad and I thank God for him all the time. I just sometimes wonder how I will do as a parent and if I should be one.
MM: My husband and I just listened to Doug Phillip's tape: The Role of the Church and Single Mothers yesterday. It was very good and I recommend it to those who may be new to the idea that the Church is to provide for these families, not the government.
We have been blessed to be a part of chuches who see their role to be ministering to widows, the fatherless, and single mothers. This is the church's role and the only reason the government has stepped in is because the church has abdicated their role. As Christians, we need to seek to follow the passage in James which encourages us, "Pure religion and underfiled before God and the Father is this: to visit the fatherless adn the widows..."
I have been excited that, through our business, we have been able to have the funds to personally reach and help some of these single mothers. I love to to do this and hope we can continue to do more and more. I have also personally helped coach some of them in starting an business from home. I am also excited to be a part of churches who give to these needy women and families -- by tithing, I am helping to support this work.
I want to do more for these families, though, and have been praying/looking for opportunities. Does anyone have practical examples and ideas of things they have done?
Crystal, good for you! ... does your church have a website describing these programs that I could refer to on my blog? Thanks-
I am writing in hopes that I will find a resource for single mothers of children with Autism who want to work to earn money for my family without neglecting the family. I am truly searching for balance. Among the many things of which I am in pursuit, is affordable after-school care for my twin boys who were diagnosed with PDD and Autism at age three. They are the most precious and adorable little boys you have ever seen; very loving, alot of fun, with angelic and deeply moving personalities. The thing is, that most of the time they are like having to handle two little hurricanes on a constant basis. I have to brace myself and bathe myself in prayer each day, as I go behind them trying to undo all of the destruction caused by their untraditional play and exploration, fits of frustration, and sincere cries for help. One of them has taken to urinating on everything, and attacking his brother if he(his brother) is uncomfortable with something...not out of animosity, but out of a need to change the situation at hand. He does not know that he is making it much worse. I have worked tirelessly to teach them everyday skills, to help them to express themselves appropriately, and to organize my home for their success. They are also challenged with understanding certain concepts, so trying to talk to them about things they do not understand often becomes a futile and draining string of battles and wars. It gets pretty emotional. I also have a twelve-year-old son who needs alot of support and attention. I teach private voice and piano lessons and I try to find day work that allows me to be home by the time they arrive home, but most jobs require more time than that. Most after-school programs that I have visited are uncomfortable with caring for my two boys, and I really cannot conjure up a resource beyond an expensive nanny service that provides nannies qualified to care for children with Autism. I am also looking for a job that I can work from home, so that I can resume my health. Usually they keep me so busy when they are home from school that I am a constant bundle of fatigue and stress. I stay up through the night trying to do housework, redeem things that been undone, dumped, or hidden, fill out all of their papers and prepare for the next day. I have worked so hard and have tried so hard. I am inherently a happy person full of zest and life, and I think that's why my boys are such happy little boys. They are not purposefully making things hard...It's just their way of exploring, learning, and experiencing the world. One of them is starting to really make alot of progress, and becomes confused and hurt when the other one does things that are puzzling or seemingly hurtful. They both have their moments, though. I only want to find a lifestyle that will help me to earn income for us, but will not kill me in the process. I have overcome lots of health problems linked to stress with alot of faith and prayers. But, truly, I am asking for help and support from anyone who can and will understand.
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