Marriage Equates No Freedom?
My husband recently responded to someone who was encouraging waiting to marry so that you could be "free" and I wanted to share his excellent commentary:
I will have to respectfully disagree with your assessment of marriage equating not having any freedom. One of the ends of marriage is for God to use two individuals together in ways they could not have been used separately. Stated in another way: the three-stranded cord of marriage is more strong and more useful than the single or even double stranded cord of singleness. To intimate that marriage is in some sense bondage will create hesitation and unwillingness to be used of God in this state and create an independence that leads to rebellion. Readers may think that I am being overly strong on this issue, but the modern view that marriage is evil and singleness bring freedom and personal liberty is contrary to the Biblical norms laid down first in Genesis. It is a lie of modern feminism that needs be diligently rebuffed. This said, "to everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven." Use this season of singleness to the glory of God. He has placed you here and now for a reason. Glory not in the state of singleness for singleness' sake--rejoice in it because you are right now where God can best use you at this time.
posted by Crystal Paine at 1:46 PM
5 Comments:
I agree wholeheartedly with almost all of your husband's comments. I think that the idea of marriage as bondage is most unfortunate. My experience of marraige has been that, rather than limiting my freedom, my relationship with my husband ENHANCES my freedom. I am able to go out into the world and accomplish things secure in the knowledge that, no matter what obstacles or adversity may crop up, I will always have a supportive partner in my corner for as long as we both shall live. Obviously, I have reciprocal obligations to support my husband in all of his struggles and endeavors as well, but these are obligations that are a joy to fulfill.
I obviously don't agree that the notion of marriage as bondage is a "lie of modern feminism." I assume your husband is referring to the feminist critique of marriage which posits that marriage is bondage for women IF it occurs in a society in which women do not enjoy equality. Since I do enjoy equality with my husband or something close to it, I do not view marriage as a prison but rather as a life-enriching experience of great fulfillment and joy.
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
In my relationship with my husband, I believe that marriage has actually given me MORE freedom than when I was single!
We have the type of friendship and community with each other that was not available to us when we were single. Those who are married to a person they truly care about and connect with know what I mean! I am never so free with anyone else as I am with my husband. He is my other half. He's my best friend, and I always know that he's there for me.
For those people who may think that true freedom can only be found outside of this intimate connection with another...true freedom for what? I don't want to be "free" to seek meaningless fling type relationships with people who don't really care about me. I certainly don't want to be "free" to be lonely in life.
I want to be free to love my husband deeply and build a life with him. I want to be free to be cared about and cherished by him.
Erin, what a wonderful sentiment. I agree with you. Marriage has truly completed me, as a person. God knew I needed my husband!
Hi HF!
I wanted to address your quote:
"the feminist critique of marriage which posits that marriage is bondage for women IF it occurs in a society in which women do not enjoy equality. Since I do enjoy equality with my husband or something close to it, I do not view marriage as a prison..."
My husband is the head of our house, but I must say that I do NOT view marriage as a prison. I too, view my marriage as 'a life-enriching experience of great fulfillment and joy'. It doesn't take equal roles to have those feelings...I am equal in value and worth, just not in authority. And, just because my husband is the authority in our household does not mean that he doesn't care what my thoughts, feelings or views are.....He does. (o:
Post a Comment
<< Home