The Secret to a Blessed Life
"Honor thy father and thy mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That is may be well with thee, and that thou mayest live long on the earth."So many today are seeking health, wealth, and prosperity. They spend years of their life trying to achieve happiness and success all the while failing to realize the Bible holds a simple answer: "Honor thy father and mother..." Maybe you won't become a millionaire, but follow this command and you will find blessing.
Obedience always brings blessing.
posted by Crystal Paine at 5:34 PM
8 Comments:
Beautifully simple. I do believe in this premise, but I have a question. What about if you have strained relations with one of your parents? My DH is not very fond of me spending time with my mother because of the emotional abuse from the past...and the continuing manipulation that results in spending time with her. So how can I honor her if our relationship is strained and DH doesn't really approve? I have struggled with this for so long and have never quite found an answer. I'm sorry if I'm treating you like Dear Abby!
Can you clarify what you mean by blessing?
... and is "honoring" the same duty as "obedience"...?
Jenny, I'm not Crystal but I do have some experience with this, so I hope you don't mind hearing my 2 cents worth. (o:
I don't come from a Christian background and my Mom is not saved and over the years our relationship (at times) has been difficult and strained. It's better now.....not ideal but better. There were times where it was better for us to not see each other but I could still do things to honor her. One thing was to pray for her daily...pray for her salvation and pray that I wouldn't develop bitterness in my heart towards her because of things she did to hurt me(besides, bitterness only hurts us instead of the person we're upset with). That was hard but it helped me to grow and to learn what TRUE love was...loving someone that was hard to love. I learned to still love her even when she did things that hurt me. #2 I sent her cards for holidays and birthdays and such. I tried to love and honor her because she was my Mom, not for what she has done or not done for me. Does that make sense?
One of the ways I got over the hurt was I quit having expectations in our relationship. I was thankful for the good things, but I quit 'expecting' things from her and then the bad things didn't hurt as much. I also tried to focus on the GOOD she had done for me in my life. Yeah, my childhood wasn't the best but it could have been MUCH worse and I'm thankful for the sacrifices she made for me. Another thing was I tried to not talk about the bad things about her to others.
I guess my point is that you can still 'honor' someone without having to have them be a big part of your life.
Again, I hope you don't mind my answering your question even though it was Crystal that you asked.
I don't beleive honoring is the same as obedience. You can honor your parents without obeying them. It is very wise to listen to their instruction if they come from a Christian background but if they are telling you to do something wrong that goes against scripture, of course you shouldn't obey them. You can still treat them with respect.
I read one of Bill O'Reilly's books (I forget which one) and, though he is not a Christian, he had some really good insight into honoring your parents. He basically said that no matter what kind of relationship you have with your parents you should always treat them with respect and take care of them. I guess he had a very stormy relationship with his dad and felt he should cut off contact with him but decided that it would be better for him, and the whole family, if he tried to heal the relationship and, in the end, it made him a better person.
I thought that was interesting.
-Zan
Jenny: I'm definitely not a Dear Abby and I don't really feel qualified to answer your question since I'm not here to give older women advice or counsel! But, maybe some of the other wiser, Godly women could give you some input.
I do very much agree with Mrs. B that honoring is not necessarily by spending loads of time -- it is a heart attitude. You know what I mean?
"He basically said that no matter what kind of relationship you have with your parents you should always treat them with respect and take care of them."
Good point, Zan, I agree!
Something else I learned during the times of strained relationships with parents is that there were times that *I* hurt them too....it wasn't just *me* who was hurting. I know that's not the case in EVERY situation but it was in mine.
Thanks to all!
Sorry I didn't see these posts until now. Mrs. B, we have very similiar situations. I think things have been getting better as I get older because she feels more like a friend and less like a "boss". She has been making more of an effort and so I need to, too.
I agree with Zan about the honoring vs. obedience thing. No matter how strained our relationship has been, I have always tried to be respectful. Sometimes that means space between us, but I think it might be getting better. :)
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