Trusting God and Infertility - Part 1
I'm starting a series of posts on infertility because I know this is something that many of you have experienced, are experiencing, or will experience in your lifetime. Thank you to many of you who have offered to share your stories. I will be posting them over the next week or so. I pray they are an encouragement. For those of us mothers who have children, may they also be an encouragement to us to not take our little ones for granted and also to be more understanding, compassionate, and considerate to those who cannot have children.
If you have a story to share, please email it to me.
If you have a story to share, please email it to me.
My husband and I were married when we were 20 years old. At the time, I took birth control without even thinking about it. A little before my 23rd birthday, my husband and I decided that birth control was no longer an option for us, because we felt that in using it we were telling God that we didn’t trust His plans or His timing and that instead we wanted to be completely in control.
I got off of birth control in February 2003. I expected to be pregnant soon, but we also knew that we weren’t entirely prepared and that God may give us time to prepare. After the first year passed, I began to be a little more “frantic” and convinced that something was wrong. However, we had decided to trust God, so we continued waiting.
In August of 2004, I finally conceived with no medical help. (My husband and I did not feel that we needed to consult doctors – after all, if we were trusting God to decide when to bless us with a child, then we also needed to trust His decision to leave us childless at the time). In October, at 9 weeks, I lost the baby. Really and truly, the baby had stopped developing after just a few days and my body didn’t know to let it go. After a sonogram revealing this, we chose to go home and let nature take it’s course.
In February 2005, I became pregnant again, only to lose it at 5 weeks. My husband and I decided to go ahead and pursue adoption thinking that if God blessed us with a child from our own bodies, then so be it, but that we had the love to give. We had decided to wait until the first of the year (Jan 2006) to begin the long paperwork journey so that we could have time to finish paying debt, save some, etc.
Well…almost exactly a year to the date of my first conception, I conceived again! At week 11, we were blessed to hear a heartbeat. Now I’m at week 15, and I am anxiously waiting to feel this baby move. God is faithful. My body is in His control.
We are praying that all will be well in this pregnancy and that our struggle with “infertility” and miscarriages will be behind us. But…if God chooses to take this one, too, I know that He is bigger than we are and that He has bigger plans for us than we do for ourselves. I know that our little trip with infertility seems just that…little. But in our lives, it was HUGE. I have been extremely blessed in that I have never suffered through the loss of a close loved one. I have my family around me, and I have never lost a friend to death. So for me, the grief of losing my babies was more than I had ever felt. -T.S.
posted by Crystal Paine at 10:28 AM
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