Biblical Womanhood: Housekeeping Ideas and Encouragement, Please

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Housekeeping Ideas and Encouragement, Please

Housekeeping isn't fun when you have a toddler and another on the way. Maybe when the kids are older and can help out or not inhibit your progress... I had a very bad day to day.... housekeeping. I just don't even seem to make a dent in the mess in my house. -Zan

I have been having such a hard time with organization lately. George is really getting into everything. I spend my time disciplining him and picking up after him and trying to protect him from injuring himself. This morning, after one hour of him being up, it looked like a monkey had gone through my house. I am scared to death about how my house will look in a few months after my second one arrives. My back is killing me from picking up after him. Just needed to vent! -Zan


Zan commented earlier today with the above two comments and then Leah commented with the following:: Zan, I feel your pain! I didn't have a very productive day today, either. I have two children so far, very active boys at that! The oldest will soon be 3.5 and the youngest is almost 22 months. It seems I never make a dent either! I get one room looking really good! I move on to the next and before I know it the first room is in need of being organized/decluttered/cleaned again! -Leah

Would any of you mothers (old or young) be willing to share ideas and encouragement for Leah and Zan and other ladies who find themselves in similar situations? I know I could definitely use the encouragement many days, even though I only have one very active little girl.

29 Comments:

Leah said...: I'd like to clarify just a little. ;) My youngest son had the flu today. It started late last night. He is now feeling more like his normal little self! Praise the Lord! Also we live in a 5 room mobile home. Yes, that includes the bathroom! Needless to say a little clutter makes it look really bad!

Thanks so much, Crystal, for asking for ideas and suggestions! I'd love some encouragement from godly wives and mothers!; 6:26 PM
Mrs. Happy Housewife said...: Maybe this will be of little help, but things really do get better. This is a season and it will pass. I used to cry because the only way I could get any dishes washed was if I carried my firstborn babe in a snugli carrier. Vacuuming was out of the question because the noise made her scream. No matter how hard I tried, things never got any better.

However, I trained the children to help from the very beginning. The baby would hand me a diaper. The toddler would put Daddy's shoes away. The preschooler would fold the wash cloths. Now, I have a 10 year old and a 7 year old. Both can completely do laundry. Both can vaccum. They help with the dishes and are learning to cook. Last night, the 10 year old baked Oatmeal Raisin cookies on her own. I didn't have to do anything but sit back and then enjoy the yummy fruits of her labor.

As children who have been trained to contribute to the household get older, you find that not only is your burden lessened but that you have companions in your work. There are few pleasures as simple as folding laundry with your children while you all sing Christmas carols. There will always be more chores to do and you will often be tired but there can be joy in your work when you have others to share it with.; 7:27 PM
Kim C. said...: I would suggest training babies and toddlers as soon as they are mobile: establish boundaries, and make many areas off-limits: the kitchen cabinets (our babies are allowed into just one); the bookshelves (except a small basket of board books), etc.
Babies can learn such boundaries right from the start, and the messes are so much easier to clean up when it's just a basket of scattered toys!; 8:17 PM
Donna said...: I agree with Mrs. Happy...this is just a season in life. Set simple goals like I will get dishes done at least once a day, I will get a load of laundry done once every couple of days, I will clean the bathroom once a week etc. Try to keep up with the essentials and do the rest when you can. If you know some teenage girls, ask them to come over to be mother's helpers...this gives you help and them some experience. Finally, use spare minutes...many tasks can be done in a few minutes and can have a big impact.; 9:15 PM
Ohiomom9977 said...: I have my 2 year old help me pick up her toys before nap and bedtime. We sing the "Clean up, clean up" song from Barney and she does a great job most of the time. You have to make it fun for them - like a game - and then they'll enjoy doing it. At 2 she's already a little of a neat freak and doesn't like to leave stuff laying out forever so I guess I'm lucky.
I guess I just look at a little toy clutter as part of having a child - I'd drive myself nuts if I tried to pick up constantly.
My house is clean as far as dirt goes and if you stop by during her nap or after she goes to bed it looks great - otherwise it's toys everywhere.; 9:19 PM
Laura said...: I have found that as I had more children and the oldest children got past preschool age, although on the one hand there is more work with more children, I also had older children who were increasingly able to be helpful, and that made a big difference! It's so much easier, for instance, to go wash the dishes if you know your children can be trusted to keep an eye on the toddler playing. It does get easier with time and children getting older!; 10:52 PM
Martha A. said...: Well, I have 4 boys ages 7-18 months. I hate messes! But... I had so many mothers tell me that had experiece with children that I would regret it if I concentrated on keeping the house looking like a picture perfect place! So, to keep my sanity and so I can sleep, I concentrate on the kitchen and the living room and want to keep them clean all the time. I have a dishwasher which has enabled me to keep up the dishes, otherwise I got behind all the time!!! Another thing that really helped me was some basic organization that my mom and sisters helped me to do!
I live in a mobile home that is large to us (as we have lived in smaller places) We do not have much space either! I know what you mean about a bit of clutter making it look bad!
I am always cutting down and going through clothes and toys. I recently put all the toys in a small dresser. Toy cars and small trucks in trucks in top drawer, Lincoln logs and small blocks in the next drawer, and legos it the bottom. I also have a tub up high for blocks and keep all puzzles and games out of their room so they do not use them unless I give them permission. They have bookshelves in their room with a box right now for extra winter stuff on it, extra books and tub of baby toys on the bottom. They also have some shelves of their books. Lots of dressers help and tubs that have specific things assigned to them. I find it is easier when I know where stuff goes.
I have a basket for library books, a magazine rack and I try to throw away magazines I am not going to read again and others store on a shelf. Another thing that really helps, is my husband built and entire wall of shelves for me in the smallest room in the house. It gives me so much more organization!
Lest you think I am organized, I just sound that way in a letter, I work hard to keep those rooms clean and it is somewhat of a obsession with me and I have to make sure it is not more important to me than the boys. They have to be boys and make messes too sometimes!
Zan, when I was pregnant with my second I wondered how on earth I was going to live with the second one! It was so much easier for me. They kept each other occupied and the work was not doubled, but it seemed just easier to me! It is easy to get overwhelmed when you are in the last stages of pregnancy or your son has the flu!; 12:15 AM
CappuccinoLife said...: I have two boys. Noisy and Messy. :D

Cutting down on "stuff" really helps out. I regularly weed through all the plastic toys that seem to breed in our toybox and get rid of some.

I also have my toddler help me. He's been able to put his own toys away since he could walk--since it simply involves hurling them into a large box. :) Currently I am also teaching the baby (8 months) the word "No" and that there are certain things he must not touch and cannot get into. The combination of training and discipline has at least helped keep me sane, even though there are still days when I look at the bits of paper, books, and toys strewn on the floor and wonder how long it will be before I can sweep again!; 5:14 AM
Brandy said...: I haven't read any of the other comments, so I don't know if this has been suggested yet or not.

My little girl can be pretty messy herself. I got so tired of picking up after her all the time .... especially when my thyroid was at it's worse. So to make things a bit easier on me, I taught her how to clean up after herself. Making a game of it really helps.

It may take a little longer to get things done, but Zan and Leah could include their children in the chores. My girl loves to dust with me. She likes "sweeping" too (though I have to go behind her lol).

Kids love feeling a part of things and feel like they're helping out ... especially at those ages.; 8:08 AM
Jessica said...: My parents always made us an integral part of any job, so that we took pride in it. We helped clean at a very young age, and helped out with our younger siblings.

I think in order to make things simpler, my mom simplified. We never had a lot of decoration or nic-nacs (sp?) Everything was always easy to clean and easy to maintain. Sure, our house was far from making the cover of Better Homes, but it eased the stress on my mother and allowed her to do what she felt was priority.; 8:20 AM
Calla Lilly said...: This is why homes used to have parlours or sitting rooms that were kept clean. That way you could have visitors and not have to worry about the rooms you actually lived in. As everyone else has said, this is such a short time in your life; it will soon pass. :) I can now look back on those days with fondness. Just try to keep up with the dishes and the laundry. Dust piling up doesn't really make for more work, but laundry and dishes do.; 9:02 AM
zan said...: Thanks for the encouragement girls.

I seem to spend all my time trying to teach George things. I am working on "put it back," which I say when he pulls things off the table. He seems to be responding well but he makes easy, 5 minute chores turn into 1hr long chores. Instead of doing the housework I am correcting him and trying to teach him. He knows "no" very well and I consider myself a very strict disciplinarian (my parents were with me) but, still, I am very overwhelmed.

I have been very tired with this pregnancy, as well. This baby is a flipper and gives me terrible side aches. My back has also been very bad. (I hurt my back when I worked as a nurse and it has never been the same. It is worse during pregnancy.)

We also live in an old house with limited closets and an unfinished bathroom which is the hardest thing for me. Last night my husband told me that the bathroom will not be done by the time the baby comes. I cried most of the night after that. The bathroom is a big "issue" with us. It has been unfinished for two years. I don't mean to put husbands down but I don't think they understand (or atleast my husband doesn't) that women need a little order to their home. Especially when they are in the caos all day. The first year of our marriage I nagged about the bathroom and the second year I haven't made a peep. I just encourage by buying him nice power tools on special occasions. This hasn't seemed to help either. The bathroom is still unfinished. Money isn't the issue but time for husband to work on it is. He doesn't think bathroom is a priority. When I say unfinished I mean a room with a small sink, shower, toilet, exposed beams, no sheet rock on walls, old plywood for floor, no linen closets and tools everywhere.

I know I am supposed to be submissive and not be concerned with this but I am ready to lose it. I know when the baby comes and the house still looks like this, I will lose it. I don't know if it is because of hormones that I feel this way or because George has started to do this whining thing that is worse that nails on a chalkboard. (Whining is the worst!.)I am really down in the dumps.

Other than that I am fine. :) George is healthy and happy and Baby Harry is fine. (Had this sugar scare a few days ago which turned out to be nothing.)

I guess every mother has those days which end up with her having some prominent bald spots in her head from all the "tearing of her hair" action.

Rereading this comment I hope that all the anti-Titus 2 women will realize that we are not all some brand of super women.; 9:40 AM
Martha A. said...: I have such a hard time working with my boys! I taught them to pick up their toys, but often I just sat there and helped them because I was tired of saying it. My mom said Iw ould take hours to pick up my toys and I learned still how to clean a house, so I guess it is not permanant!
What I do too, is confine them to the room I can see them in so they are not off making a mess somewhere where I cannot see them, or confine them to a place they can make a mess.
One thing I did when they would whine was just set them on the bed and say, "Sit here until you are done and can be happy" It helped alot as I did not have to hear it as clearly and they got over it then. If it started again I would say "Back on the bed."
Aren't you glad we are not all super women?; 10:54 AM
Liz said...: Zan,

Honestly, it does get better. My two are 3 and 18 months, so I can really emphathize with you. When baby is born, give yourself at least six months to feel "normal" again before the family settles into a new routine.

Like other ladies here, I have two clean up times, nap and bedtime, and you learn to live with a certain amount of clutter. One thing that really helps is I have all my kids toys in 4 large plastic containers, number Week 1 - Week 4, that I rotate every week. It helps to keep them fresh and more interesting for the little ones and they don't get tired of them so quickly.

Another thing I've always done is save my major cleaning, except for vacuuming and especially bathrooms,
for naptime. And I always make the dishes, sweeping the kitchen floor, and laundry a priority, even if it is just one load a day. Another thing that helps is making the bed everyday. I read that the bed is 80% of the master bedroom and making it up, makes the room seem that much cleaner.

Another thing that helps with the cooking is a crock-pot, because you can throw the whole meal in and not have to worry about it all day. A good recipe book is "Fix It and Forget It". Ditto for the Bread Machine, if you must have home-made bread.

Two internet articles that I found that have encouraged me about this topic are: "New Baby, Exhausted Mom" at http://chfweb.com/eaton/articles/newbabye.html
and "Lots of Little Ones" at http://chfweb.com/eaton/articles/lotsofli.html

Be encouraged!!!!; 11:02 AM
Liz said...: Arggh!!

http://chfweb.com/eaton/articles/
newbabye.html

http://chfweb.com/eaton/articles/
lotsofli/html; 11:05 AM
Anne said...: Hey Zan! It does sound like you are overwhelmed- and I wonder why?! It takes a lot of energy to cook up those cute babies! :)

I struggle with the same things as you.

Have you examined your expectations? It may sound terrible, but I've had to lower mine. Of course there are some things that need to be done. (clean dishes, decent bathrooms, laundry, etc.) But I haven't dusted in a while, and have let some other things go that I just can't get to (like some clutter). It's hard for a perfectionist like me to let some of this go, but otherwise I drive myself crazy thinking about what "should" be done and it becomes the focus of my days.

Most importantly, I've had to really examine the basis of my happiness and contentment. Is it mainly on the state of my house? Or am I resting in Him? Of course, it's nice to have a clean and orderly house. But if that is just not possible to the extent I would like, am I going to get all frustrated and stressed? Let it go. You don't have to be in control of it all.

One of my major downfalls as well is always looking to find that "perfect" organizational method, or book or website. I've found that this is a lie. Not that I haven't found helpful things here and there. But again, what am I pinning my hopes on? Trying a method in my own effort? Too often, yes.

So give it to God. Do what you can and let the rest go.; 11:09 AM
Leah said...: Brandy, my little guys are great at helping with the mess! The thing is they want to get everything back out within seconds of getting it put away! We're going to be doing some major weeding out in the next few weeks!

Liz, thanks for all your suggestions. I'm getting a crockpot for Christmas!!! I already have the Fix it and Forget it cookbook! I also have a bread machine! Also I just bought Candy's e-book on Home Management! I'm getting motivated to get this home in tip-top shape!; 12:24 PM
Sommer said...: Zan...My heart goes out to you. Being a submissive wife does not mean you don't feel frustrated with how things are sometimes. It is often hard for our husbands to know the things that stress us. My husband is not a handy man and I often do this fix it stuff. He also doesn't put alot of pressure on me for a spic and span house...I wish he would so that I would feel more motivated to do it. I have two kids myself and just remember to give yourself time to get back into a routine. If one part of your house is lacking, it isn't the end of the world.

As for me, I don't always employ my children with the chores they could do. One is almost 6 and the other is 3. I must remember to give them little things to do...I know my Mom thinks so.

As a fairly young mom, I also appreciate the advice given by all of you other ladies. I will try to take the advice and employ it where I can.; 12:54 PM
prayzgod said...: I'm currently homeschooling my 5yr old, potty training my 3yr old, change several diapers a day on my 1yr old, and am pregnant with my next, with all day "morning" sickness.

Here's what I've been doing...

I write out my usual cleaning duties, and break them up to just a task or two a day. I also have 5yr old and 3yr old pitch in a lot. Also 1yr old helps out by picking stuff off of the floor, and putting into the trash. :-)

I have an article on my site under the Organization section, called "three week cleaning." This article contains great cleaning tips that come in quite handy for us preggy, tired gals. :-); 2:59 PM
Sarah said...: I read a column a couple of years ago. I think it was by a man named Jon Rosemond. I can't find the column online nor do I think I kept it but it helped give me a different perspective on the toy mess at home. He pretty well shamed the parent who wrote in about being aggrivated about her children always making messes. He said as a parent you should be thankful that your child will play with his toys, this allows him to explore things and to use his/her imagination while at the same time, allowing you to do your jobs around the house. He said yes children should be expected to pick up their toys at night but throughout the day just let it go. I have tried to learn to do that. Now if my son comes in and just dumps three puzzles and goes on to something else I encourage him to pick them up but if I step over toys throughout the day I remind myself like others do, this is a season that will pass by too quickly so I can put up with it for now.; 10:15 PM
Barbara said...: I haven't read all the comments just the first few. But I definitely agree that this is just a season! :) I'm still having little ones, but the difference now is I have a 15 yo DD (who is a great organizer) and a 13 yo DD. So they are a HUGE help, especially since I have been extremely tired and feeling a little nauseous (we're expecting #7 around Aug. 7th).

Here is a big tip that has helped me. DECLUTTER! Seriously consider do you need that knick-knack? or is it just collecting dust? How often do you use that food processor, etc.? If your answer is hardly ever, then do you really need it or does it need to be on display on your counter?

I also agree with Kim on teaching the little ones boundaries and getting them to help. I actually started this when my oldest was not quite a year old yet. She loved picking up her toys. It was a game to her. She also like to mimic me dusting, etc. My 3 yo son always wants to help do this and that, so I let him, by having him do small things. He can't quite handle the broom, but he can handle the hand broom and dustpan.

Well, we have the stomach virus going around here. :( So, I'm off!; 11:20 AM
Alyssa said...: Like Barbara just said, and I know Crystal will agree....

1) Be ruthless with the clutter.

My biggest struggle is keeping books, magazines and papers organized. I come across scraps of paper that I've kept for months/years...why?...

2) Toys.

My parents are really bad with giving the kids toys. So I have two small bins that I keep his toys in and I rotate them.

3) Kitchen cabinets.

I'm not a big fan of childproofing, so the biggest struggle I have is when I'm nursing the baby, Ethan heads for the cabinets. I am constantly spanking him for that (he's pretty hard-headed).

4) Focus.

My husband keeps reminding me that my job in training Ethan to obey and spending time playing with him is more important than keeping the house immaculate. Even if somedays it feels like all I do is correct Ethan. I have to remember to correct him then DIRECT him to do something else good (read a book, build some blocks, "help" mama make granola...ie pick the raisins out...he LOVES "helping" me). Learn to say, "oh, well. That didn't get done today" and play with your toddler. Also, sometimes Ethan gets whiney during the day, which you KNOW wears on you emotionally; DH directed me to let Ethan have some quiet time in his crib with some books if he gets too whiney. He suspects its just overstimulation, and Ethan tends to be alot better after that.
Boy do I feel your pain with being pregnant and having back pain. I had HORRIBLE back and pelvic pain in the last 4 months of pregnancy. Gregory is now 10 weeks old, and I have so much more energy than I did when I was pregnant. In my experience, its less work keeping up with the toddler after the baby's been born.

Praying for you,

Alyssa; 12:08 PM
Kim C. said...: I have to second what Alyssa said - for me, too, things get easier with the new baby on the *outside.* I get a lot of hip, leg and pelvic pain, shortness of breath, weariness, etc. while I'm pregnant.
Once baby is out and sleeping 18-20 hours a day, it's much easier to bend and pick up toys, chase the toddler, etc.
But I can't stress the value of training and limits. We let that slip a bit with our 16mo this time, and hubby and realized that we spend all our time chasing her around and cleaning up her messes - this just wasn't the case with the others, who learned early that kitchen cabinets, end tables, dressers, and "grown-up books" were off limits. The training is harder with some, but so worth it!; 2:12 PM
DollyMama said...: When we had 1-3 children we also lived in a small trailer. One of the biggest mistakes I made at this house was that I tried to put a lot of good ideas into practice that I just didn't have the space for.

For instance, when I started learning about homeschooling when my oldest was 3, I started saving zillions of juice tops and toilet paper rolls and scraps of coloerful papers and egg cartons. There were many good ideas and I was so enthusiastic, but soon had way too much stuff around to handle.

I also took up some things like canning foods, and there were jars and jars and equipment and so forth.

We had tons of toys and books that were available for the children to play with (read: strew around the house) and we held on to a lot of clutter.

Really our home was big enough for us, but I was holding on to too many things. Now I have a much bigger home (and twice as many children) but I keep a lot less stuff. I have a limited amount of space for craft things, and once I reach the limit, something has to be purged before something else is kept.

We have discovered that our children are actually happier with far fewer toys. I am certain that we have way less toys now with 6 children than we did when we had 1 or 2.

One of the best things I ever did to control the toy mess was that I made one closet the Toy Closet. I got shelving and bins to fit inside, and got a locking door knob. All the toys fit in there, and I control access to it. It's so much easier to make sure things get picked up before something else gets taken out. Plus, when they don't see all their stuff every day, they forget about it and are happy and surprised again the next time it comes out.

Zan, on the bathroom project, I think it is reasonable for you to want it done. I agree that husbands sometimes do not fully appreciate what it is to live in the house all day every day. Would it be possible for you to hire someone to finish the job? Perhaps you could get a couple estimates, and if it is affordable, surprise your husband with the burden of completing the task off of his shoulders. Or do you have any family members that would be willing to come help work on it? (a bathroom barn raising!)

Going back to the mess with kids, I have found that the only solution is for there to be less for them to get to. Controlling how much they can make a mess with is a really good thing.

Lowering our standards is reasonable, but I have found that there is a wide range of ability to tolerate mess among women. Some can be happy with a lot of mess, and some feel that it is hard for the to rest or concentrate when there is clutter around. it is ok to be who you are, and to work from that starting point.

I hope that some of the ideas in all of these comments (not just mine) are helpful to you.; 3:58 PM
Laura said...: I came across this one years ago:

On judgment day,
If God should say,
"Did you clean your house today?"
I will say, "I did not;
I played with the children
and I forgot."

We have seven children, ages 12, 11, 6, 4, 3, 2, and 5 months. It is so true that as they get older things get much easier in thre house. I realize, though, that it is not always easy to look forward to those times when you have a bathroom that needs cleaning (or finishing), a floor that needs to be vacuumed, dirty dishes in the sink, and you can't find a clean shirt for your husband because they are all in the laundry! Add to this having to step over toys just to get through the room, and I think many people would understand us feeling overwhelmed.

Like some of the other ladies here, I find it helpful to be reminded that the nurturing of my children is vastly more important than the state of the house.

That said, one thing that has greatly improved the cleanliness of our home, without neglecting the children or passing every bit of work onto the older ones, is having a schedule. I used to think that I just was not a schedule-type person, because I found it so hard to stick to one. I don't know if the sticking to it just came with time/maturity or if I was trying to be too rigid with it before. I also refine and/or redo the schedule if anything needs changing.

If scheduling is too much to try to deal with right now, another suggestion would be to set a timer (one on your oven maybe) for an hour before your husband is due to get home. Then get as much done as you can during that time.

One last thing I can think of right now is TV. If you have one, you might consider getting rid of it or using it infrequently. I had the hardest time keeping things clean when we had a TV. It can be a horrible time-stealer!

On the same note, a computer could have the same effect, so try being careful with the amount of time spent on that, also.; 5:38 PM
zan said...: Dolly Mama,

My husband is very stubborn about doing the batyhroom himself. He doesn't want ANY help. I do have a brother-in-law that is a finish carpenter and a very handy father but they are too busy with their own projects.

As far as highering. My husband would never go for it because the last carpenter he hired did a horrid job. The roofers he hired to reshingle the roof didn't do a great job either and the roof leaked at the seam from the house roof to the porch roof. (One of the guys he hired was his own brother (different brother-in-law),who probably is competing with ape's for building contracts his work is so bad. He just was not dependable and what he said would be done in one month is still not done after over a year. My husband had to finish his mess up.)So now my husband has the view of, "If you want to get something done right, than you better do it yourself."; 9:28 AM
Faith said...: I am also a mother with little ones and I struggle a lot with how difficult it is to keep my home clean - there are so many days I just give up and veg out! In fact my blog is all about this very topic. I have three girls 4, 2 & 5 months.
A couple of things that help me in my attitude towards housework right now:

Recognize thought patterns of defeat (i.e. I'm no good at this. I have so much to do I'll never get it done. etc. etc.) and fight to remember that I am loved by God and I am in His will for my life.

Submit to God's call on my life. I actually have a prayer of submission that I pray when I start washing dishes, to tell God that I am doing this right now as an act of submitting to His call on my life and as an act of worship to Him.

Practically: I try to do dishes at least twice a day, washing up a couple of plates and a pan after dinner is SO much easier with toddlers than washing up dishes from the whole day, or if you're like me - the whole weekend! I also try to have my bedroom and/or the living room neat or some place to relax in at the end of the day.
Also, getting to bed early has helped me a lot. Especially when I'm pregnant I feel too exhausted and thus too emotional to keep my house clean - sleep definitely helps.

I know that what I long for, more than even a clean home, is to know that my life is in balance. When I'm falling desperately behind on my housework what I long for is not really a clean house but balance to be restored to my life. I am learning (from Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanne Weaver) that balance is not so much the balance of a scale with perfect symetry and equality, but rather the rhythem of a see-saw. You'll have to get that book and read it for yourself - it is so VERY helpful!

To zan - I understand your frustrstion. It is exasperating to be so helpless to change our husbands! If you feel like you have been totally honest with your husband so that he knows how important it is to you for this project to be finished. The LEAVE IT WITH THE LORD!!! Look for how God is working in your own heart. Let's be honest, your husband is being very unloving, but God is in control even of that and He has chosen this trial for you to work His perfect will in your heart. I would just encourage you to pray pray pray over this until you have left it with God and watch for Him to answer your prayers! You might see if your husband would be willing for you & your son to leave for a whole day (maybe even have your son spend the night with a granparent or aunt) so that he could get some significant work done.; 12:39 PM
zan said...: Hey Faith,

Thanks for your encouragement. Just wanted to say that my husband isn't being unloving to me. He really thinks he is doing what is best. The fact is my husband, like so many others, does not have a clue about what I need sometimes. He feels it would be better for me to have X,Y, and Z. I'm not saying my husband is stupid. No way. But men are very different. They think and act differently. They also need a lot of practice on understanding their wife. We have only been married for two years and I know I lose him alot. My husband is also one who does not cave in easily. He has seen his brothers horse-whipped by domineering wives and, I think, has taken the offensive. I don't mind, usually, but I do wish he would get that stupid bathroom done so I could have order in the second messiest room in the house. (I think the kitchen is the messiest. I could do dishes in there all day.)

Once again, men are very different than women and it takes awhile for them to catch on to what they need. It is the same reason I pack the diaper bag instead of him before we go out. He will pack things we don't need and forget to bring things we do need. Priotities are very different. He thinks that the only thing that matters is if the bathroom works, not that it is in order.; 3:27 PM
Crystal said...: Thanks you, Ladies, for all your wonderful encouragement and ideas! It blessed me.; 3:32 PM

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Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Housekeeping Ideas and Encouragement, Please

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