|
 |
|
|
Maintain the Difference
And I will put a division between my people and thy people: tomorrow shall this sign be. (Exodus8:23)Pharaoh has a people, and the Lord has a people. These may dwell together and seem to fare alike, but there is a division between them, and the Lord will make it apparent. Not forever shall one event happen alike to all, but there shall be great difference between the men of the world and the people of Jehovah's choice. This may happen in the time of judgments, when the Lord becomes the sanctuary of His saints. It is very conspicuous in the conversion of believers when their sin is put away, while unbelievers remain under condemnation. From that moment they become a distinct race, come under a new discipline, and enjoy new blessings. Their homes, henceforth, are free from the grievous swarms of evils which defile and torment the Egyptians. They are kept from the pollution of lust, the bite of care, the corruption of falsehood, and the cruel torment of hatred, which devour many families. Rest assured, tried believer, that though you have your troubles you are saved from swarms of worse ones, which infest the homes and hearts of the servants of the world's prince. The Lord has put a division; see to it that you keep up the division in Spirit, aim, character, and company.
-C.H. Spurgeon
(Thanks to Mrs. B. for sending this to me.)
Mr. Mom?
My husband read this to me the other day and I thought it was excellent... "A man's provision must be both physical and spiritual. In the realm of the physical, it is his job to see that the family has what it needs to live and thrive. He sees that they have food, clothing, and shelter. "This does not mean that we should embrace the stereotypical idea of the husband as 'the breadwinner.' That term has come to imply that it is his job to get out there in the world, earn some money, and buy the things the family needs. Meanwhile, the wife and children sit at home essentially unemployed and gratefully receive his provision. "In the fully functionary historical household (in contrast to our contemporary urbanized version) the wife and children were very much employed in the tasks that provided for the family. They helped with planting and harvesting the garden; they canned food, cared for livestock, and made clothing. In short, they were essential to the household economy and played a crucial role in the provision for its physical needs. However, it was the father's job to provide them with tools to do so that, through their work, they could help the family provide for itself. Everybody had a part to play, but he was responsible for the whole process. Also, because of his physical strength, he had the most physically demanding jobs, like breaking the soil and pulling the stumps, and thus served a role that could not be filled by his wife or children. He was the provider, but he had a lot of help. "Today, whether in an urban apartment or a rural homestead, men must embrace the role of physical provision for the family. The Mr. Mom household in which the woman works to support the family and the man runs the household and cares for the kids is a perversion of God's order. How is the man reflecting the fatherhood of God by acting like a mother? No, it is his calling to provide. Better a family lives poorly on the father's lean wages than that the gifted wife supplant him in his role." -Family Man, Family Leader
Where are the Men?
"Nearly 1.5 million babies, a record, were born to unmarried women in the United States last year, the government reported Friday. And it isn't just teenagers any more." Inspite of this, there's hope for this generation, it starts with the fathers:"You are the protector of the home. You are the warrior who will stand and defend his wife, children, extended family and home against all comers. You have the strong arm that lifts little children closer to the sky as they squeal with glee and sweeps your wife across the floor in a loving embrace. Everyday you deal with the separation from your family in order to go and earn the money that keeps food on the table, electricity for the lights, and a roof overhead. The world is fighting hard to change your image because the world always fights against that which is strong and good. The world recognizes that if it can turn the father away from what he was created to be, it can complete the destruction of the family begun by the feminist movement and continued by the welfare state." Read the whole post (Not for younger readers.)
HT: La Shawn Barber
We are Pioneers
Should we be just trying to go back to how things were 200 years ago?"There were many wonderful, Biblical aspects of American society 200 years ago, due to that society's strong Christian heritage, and there are many lessons to be learned from studying those who came before. There were also mistakes made during those times that we can learn from. We should not aspire to merely duplicate a previous era, but rather to build on its good points and learn from its bad ones. We should identify the legacy in all its richness, then build on it. "We, in a sense, are also pioneers. We should not try to cling to a bygone era--rather, we should try to build something new, something greater and more Biblical than has ever been seen in any society. And we must never underestimate the power women have to influence whole societies in this way. But in order to have this kind of influence, we must be women. Not men. This is where we find the mysterious feminine power that God gives us." -from So Much More, pg. 102-103
An Opportunity for the President
Breaking News...
My husband and I were having a leisurely morning spending time together as a family and avoiding the computers (it's nice to have a break from them every now and then!). When Jesse finally turned on his laptop and checked his email, I heard an excited holler... ...Miers WithdrawsHe's a happy man again, and I'm happy, too. We'll both be even happier if the President gets the message which has been loudly spoken and now nominates an experienced, qualified, judicial conservative. I'm holding out hope...
Suggestions Wanted: Modest Not Frumpy
Anyone want to weigh in on this one? "When you have a very limited budget for clothes, are a small person, and want to dress a certain way without looking frumpy how do you do it? I am barely 5 ft. tall and weigh about 94 lbs. Clothes do not fit right! I cannot find skirts usually that fit so I usually make them, that is not so much a problem as finding the time to make them and then which colors look neater and stay looking neater when you are a mother? What sort of fabrics hold up well with washing and wearing over and over? I wear alot of sweaters and skirts. But I have trouble getting my sweaters to stay looking nice with washing them. Any tips? If I got to buy a shirt it is usually too long and looks sloppy. Where do you find cheaper shirts/sweaters that fit right without paying $15-20 a sweater or shirt and then not having it last long. One thing I love to do is go to JC Penny's when they discount things and get quality for a few dollars. But I would love to have a staple list of a wardrobe everyone should have! Does anyone have one like that? For example: One black skirt, One khaki skirt, etc. -Martha"
Attractive Nursing Dresses
Modest and Functional
"I've found that for every day, a nice khaki or denim skirt, that isn't too full, is very functional around the house, yet looks very nice. It's easy to pair skirts with different shirts and sweaters according to the weather. Modest tops are easier to find brand new--skirts are harder to find. I go to thrift shops, and find most of my skirts there. If you pick solid colors, in styles that don't date themselves, no one will be the wiser that you've gone to thrift stores! For around the house, I wear canvas shoes. If I'm going out, I may change to sandals in the summer or nylons/tights and a casual pair of shoes in the fall/winter. In really cold winter weather, I put a pair of cuddle duds on (rolled up, of course, so they don't show beneath my dress!)
Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins
Make Time to Take Time
A couple of nights ago, we were on our way home and decided (uncharacteristically) to swing by McDonald's and pick something up from the drive-thru. As we approached it, I let out a little gasp -- they had double drive-thru lanes. Maybe I'm just a country bumpkin who doesn't go through drive-thrus very much, but is this a new thing? I've never seen two drive-thru lanes. They had to have a traffic light so that, after ordering, you could know who was supposed to proceed to the window first. In this age of instant gratification and grab-and-go food, are we so impatient we can't even wait in one line to pick up our lunch at a window?  Is this constant going, going, going really worth it? At the end of our life, it won't matter how much we pack into a day, but it will matter how well we have lived. Take time today to stop and smell the roses. Take time to look into the faces of your loved ones and tell them how much you love them. Take time to laugh, to smile, and to breathe. Make the time to take time.
From my kitchen...
There's nothing quite like homemade apple dumplings and cinnamon icecream... De-li-cious! I've been feeling very domestic today and spent almost two hours cooking and baking this afternoon. My husband was delighted, of course, especially with the dessert. I wish I had a picture to post, but the dumplings were eaten before I had a chance to snag the camera and photograph them. Maybe next time. What's cooking at your house? Kathrynne and I made Cream of Broccoli soup and a double batch of Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins (sound like a bizarre combination? It's one of my husband's favorites and they are quick to make and freeze well, too. He enjoys having them in his lunches everyday.), in addition to our scrumptious dessert. Oh, and Pants_that_Fit mentioned about making meals for a $1 per person. What meals do you serve at your house that qualify for this? Suggestions?
Modest and Attractive - Ideas Wanted
"What is a good outfit for a mother that looks nice, is comfortable, and is able to work in plus modest? -Martha"
Email me with your suggestions for Martha and I'll post some of them here. If you could possibly send pictures or links that would be even better! I will try to take some pictures of ideas of what has worked for me and give some suggestions as well. "Where can I find modest yet attractive nursing dresses?? Most of the nursing dresses I own look like "feedbags". I have been wearing more skirts but I really love dresses! I think others might be wondering the same thing too! -Ahlam"Email me with your suggestions for Ahlam please and I'll post them.
What's Wrong With Girls?
Thought-Provoking post by Sold Out.
Here's a snippet, but go read the whole thing for yourself: "However, most women and girls have no idea that dressing immodestly hurts their pursuit of value. By defiling men's minds, they cheapen themselves in men's eyes. Women who dress immodestly have become items for public viewing, because of the way they have marketed themselves. By being walking advertisements, they are not going to get the kind of love that loves them for who they are. They are going to get love that is "time's fool", that is dependent on the way they look. In the end, this only makes them have to search harder to find satisfaction."
Our Culture is Desensitized
Grocery shopping and grocery lists
Do you like to write grocery lists? Check out this site solely dedicated to grocery lists (what will they come up with next, I wonder?) Thanks to Cheryl for the link. For all you who are in charge of most of the grocery shopping at your house, tell us about it! Do you grocery shop once a week? One store or more? Do you plan a menu and write a list or do you just go to the store and decide what you're hungry for while you are there? Do you have a system for menu-planning? Do you go shopping by yourself or with your children?
Looking for a few good men...
I received this email recently: "We homeschool our 7 children, ages 10-22, and happened on your blog quite some time ago. Our older daughters (since they have more time than I do) frequent your blog quite often as well as Ladies Against Feminism and quite a few others. My question: Can you recommend any similar sites/blogs for Christian young men? We have sons ages 13, 15, and 20. There seems to be so much available for young ladies, but I am not aware of much for young men. Personally, I can't think of very many godly Christian men that I can point my sons to as models... Having raised them from a conservative and Biblical perspective, there's much in the world we have to say "no" to. But I am finding as our children are older and into young adulthood, that there needs to be something we can say "yes" to. It has helped our daughters to know that there are others out there who are like-minded, even if we never meet them. But what is available for sons?! Hope you can help.
Getting Teeth Late
Jessica said in response to the teething post: "Be forewarned that often times getting teeth late in life could result in problems later on. $$$"
I've never heard of this before and would love more information. Jessica or anyone else?
Anonymous Commentors
For those of you who do not have a blog and have been posting anonymously on this blog and would like to continue to do so but aren't sure how to set up an account, here what you need to do:
Go here and fill in your name, password, and email address. From what I understand, you do not need to set up a blog, just an account and you can post.
Teething Babies
Kathrynne is teething for the first time... yes, she's almost 9 months and she still doesn't have any teeth. Jesse was starting to wonder if was ever going to get any teeth at all. Needless to say, my usually very happy and contented baby is not happy at all. Poor thing. For those of you who've been through this before, I'm sure you know what I mean! You feel powerless to help them and they can't understand why it hurts so badly. Any suggestions or tips on what has worked for your teething babies? I'm all new at this. We tried cold washcloths and cold slices of pears, rocking, and trying to distract her with her favorite toys. She didn't seem to really like any of those at all. She's never been sick before in her life (I'm very blessed to have such a healthy baby!) so maybe that is why it has been harder for her (and for me!). Jesse finally got her some baby teething gel. It seems to help her some, at least so that she can sleep. I'd love to hear other suggestions! Thanks for your help!
Rejection Equals Disaster
Another great post by Scott Brown:----------- Rejection of biblical commands and patterns is always disasterous. Sometimes though, the effects may not be dramatically illustrated for a time. Notice how obedience to the command to "be fruitful and multiply" has a dramatic affect on church life and power. Here are a couple of quotes from the article: "The popular notion that conservative churches are growing because mainline churches are too liberal is being challenged by new research that suggests a simpler cause -- the use of birth control -- explains most of the mainline decline. Differences in fertility rates account for 70 percent of the decline of mainline Protestant church membership from 1900 to 1975 and the simultaneous rise in conservative church membership, the sociologists said. "For most of the 20th century, conservative women had more children than mainline women did," "It took most of the 20th century for conservative women to adopt family-planning practices that have become dominant in American society," the writers said. "Or to put the matter differently, the so-called decline of the mainline may ultimately be attributable to its earlier approval of contraception."
See this article for details.
Our Little Princess
  We took Kathrynne out shopping a few days ago to buy her some warmer clothes and her first pair of shoes. She had fun modeling one of her new "big girl" outfits. She's such a joy.
"The love of Christ constraineth us."
My husband sent me this from Spurgeon's Morning by Morning today:
"The love of Christ constraineth us." Corinthians 5:14 How much owest thou unto my Lord? Has he ever done anything for thee? Has he forgiven thy sins? Has he covered thee with a robe of righteousness? Has he set thy feet upon a rock? Has he established thy goings? Has he prepared heaven for thee? Has he prepared thee for heaven? Has he written thy name in his book of life? Has he given thee countless blessings? Has he laid up for thee a store of mercies, which eye hath not seen nor ear heard? Then do something for Jesus worthy of his love. Give not a mere wordy offering to a dying Redeemer. How will you feel when your Master comes, if you have to confess that you did nothing for him, but kept your love shut up, like a stagnant pool, neither flowing forth to his poor or to his work. Out on such love as that! What do men think of a love which never shows itself in action? Why, they say, "Open rebuke is better than secret love." Who will accept a love so weak that it does not actuate you to a single deed of self-denial, of generosity, of heroism, or zeal! Think how he has loved you, and given himself for you! Do you know the power of that love? Then let it be like a rushing mighty wind to your soul to sweep out the clouds of your worldliness, and clear away the mists of sin. "For Christ's sake" be this the tongue of fire that shall sit upon you: "for Christ's sake" be this the divine rapture, the heavenly afflatus to bear you aloft from earth, the divine spirit that shall make you bold as lions and swift as eagles in your Lord's service. Love should give wings to the feet of service, and strength to the arms of labour. Fixed on God with a constancy that is not to be shaken, resolute to honour him with a determination that is not to be turned aside, and pressing on with an ardour never to be wearied, let us manifest the constraints of love to Jesus. May the divine loadstone draw us heavenward towards itself.
Feminism Equals...
...The destruction of men.
When women seek to usurp the authority God has placed over them for their protection, when women seek to compete with men, when women seek their own rights and equality, men are run over and left to be emasculated wimps and sissies. Let us raise up our sons to be stalwart leaders and our daughters to be virtuous women! Oh that God would send revival to our land!
For Women Only
 I've been wanting to post on Shaunti Feldhahn's book For Women Only for a long time. I have not finished it yet (the story of my life!), but I'm over half-way through and I thought it was really excellent. Feldhahn conducted a professional survey and personal surveys and the results of her findings are in this book. This book may surprise you. It proves that the Biblical understanding of submission is really what men want -- even nonChristian men. The feminist agenda has tried to make this reality a myth, but it is the truth. Men need to be protectors, they need to be providers. They don't want to be sissies. They don't want to be equals with their wife. This is not wrong. This how God made men! And, it's wonderful! We women often fail to understand this, though. We think we deserve our rights and our equality. Here are seven revelations she includes in the book (she expounds on each of these revelations in a chapter): | Surface Understanding | What That Means in Practice | | "Men need respect" | Men would rather feel unloved than inadequate and disrespected | | "Men are insecure" | Despite their "in control" exterior, men often feel like imposters and are insecure that their inadequacies will be discovered | | "Men are providers" | Even if you personally made enough income to support the family's lifestyle, it would make no difference to the mental burden he feels to provide | | "Men want more sex" | Your sexual desire for your husband profoundly affects his sense of well-being and confidence in all areas of his life | | "Men are visual" | Even happily married men struggle with being pulled toward live and recollected images of other women | | "Men are unromantic clods" | Actually, most men enjoy romance (sometimes in different ways) and want to be romantic–but hesitate because they doubt they can succeed | | "Men care about appearance" | You don't need to be a size 3, but your man does need to see you making the effort to take care of yourself – and he will take on significant cost or inconvenience in order to support you | For more information: The Mystery of the Male MindRead a sample chapter here.
An Intimate Hour with God
One thing which is vitally important to a Christian's walk is spending personal time daily with the Lord. To be a Christian does not just mean we know a lot about the Bible or about the Lord, it means we have a personal relationship with the Lord. We cannot expect to have a strong, vibrant relationship with Him if we are not setting aside time each day to seek His face. I like to spend time praying and reading God's Word almost first thing in the morning, before my day begins. I need that time alone to dedicate my day to the Lord and ask Him for the strength and grace to do what He has called me to do for the day. My mom gave me an article titled, "An Intimate Hour With God" not too long ago and I have found it very helpful to use to be able to spend an extended time reading God's Word and being refreshed and rejuvenated. I encourage you to visit this link and print out a copy for yourself to keep with your Bible. Perhaps you could even go through it as a family.
Only in Christ
I posted this in response to Happy Feminist's post and I wanted to share it here as well: For those of you who are Christians, I'd love to hear your salvation testimony (be as wordy as you want!). How has the saving grace of Christ transformed your life?
Another "Mega" Family
I just found this blog this morning-- a self-proclaimed "mega family"of 17 children. Read what the Mom posted on Kim's blog in response to her post on large families: "I am the very happy Mama of 17 children, ages 18-9 months. One of the big differences between our family and a daycare is that the people running the daycare really would not care about my children at all-it is a job for them (I know because I worked in one when I was younger). They may be nice to them and take care of their physical needs but they wouldnt love my children. The second comment I would make is that my children love being in a huge family - they constantly pray for more siblings, either through adoption or birth... part of the reason they value siblings so highly is because we value children so highly..."
American Girl Promotes Moral Perversion
Weight-Loss Challenge
 This is rather off-topic (not like my blog has one main topic-- My husband says this blog is very "ecletic." I guess that's because I'm eclectic and I'm a woman and I can't stay on any one topic for long! There are hundreds of topics which interest me, so this blog provides a forum for me to write down whatever is on my mind this hour.)... But Candy's having a weight-loss challenge, for anyone interested. I'm going to try to participate, though I don't need to lose any weight, to have the accountability to regularly exercise and also eat more fresh fruits and veggies (something that's harder to do in the winter). As Christians, our bodies are the temples of the Lord and we have a responsibility to take care of them properly. This means proper rest, hygiene, exercise, and nutrition. Of course, we do not want to exalt health over holiness, but health is important! As Scripture says, "Bodily exercise profiteth a little..."I'm not into fad diets, but I do think that striving to maintain a healthy weight for your size and BMI is important. You have a much better chance of feeling better, having more energy, and living a healthier life. A friend recently wrote and asked for some advice on weight loss and here's what I told her: -Drink lots of water-- all day long. If you drink 12-14 glasses of water per day (and don't drink carbonated beverages or lots of coffee), you are not usually going to struggle with many weight problems. I try to always have water with me no matter where I am. -Limit sweets and carb intake. Eat more wholegrains, fresh fruits and veggies, and protein. -Only eat when you are hungry and then only eat enough to pleasantly satisfy yourself. -Exercise at least 15 minutes everyday. Also, read my post on French Women Don't Get Fat.
Random Question of the Day: Cooking from Scratch
 Holly emailed me this morning: "Can you post some websites or blogs that would be of help in the area of cooking from scratch?"Comment and let us know what your favorites are. Also, I'd love to hear what your favorite cookbooks are. I'd also be interested to hear if you cook mostly from scratch at your home. It seems like this is fast becoming a lost art. Here are a few of my favorite cooking websites to start things off: I love to use AllRecipes. They have just about every recipe under the sun and my favorite feature is their ingredient search. You can type in what ingredients you have on hand and they will give you a list of recipes you can make with those ingredients. For inexpensive meals, try MiserlyMoms.Want to have your menus pre-planned for you every week? Sign up for Menus4Moms.
A Picture of My Family
 Since we were talking about families this week, I thought it would be fun to share a pictures of my wonderful family (Click to enlarge) at my sister's wedding this summer. I can't wait until we can all be together again... we're separated over thousands of miles right now since my sister and her husband live in Taiwan and we live in a town a few hours from my family. If you'd like the rundown (I think you can figure out who is who): Dad, Mom, Brigette (27), myself (24), Dustin (21), Gretchen (17), Nathaniel (14), Olivia (11), Zachary (6).
"I know I am a good person..."
"I know I am a good person, but I am also an atheist. Heaven or hell doesn't come in to the equation for me because I quite simply don't believe in them! -Anonymous"
Anonymous, thank you for sharing. Please take a moment to carefully examine your heart: How can you know you are a good person? By whose standard? When you have no standard for right and wrong, you have no measuring stick for "good" and "bad."
I disagree with your statement that you are a good person. I do not disagree by my own definitions, but by God's definitions. Scripture is clear that no one is good, but God.
- Ps 14:3 - They are all gone aside, they are all together become filthy: there is none that doeth good, no, not one.
- Ps 53:3 - Every one of them is gone back: they are altogether become filthy; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.
You can live all of your life clinging to your own definition of goodness, but on Judgment day, you will be judged by God's definitions, not your own.
Ps 98:9 - Before the LORD; for he cometh to judge the earth: with righteousness shall he judge the world, and the people with equity.
Ac 17:31 - Because he hath appointed a day, in the which he will judge the world in righteousness...
Ro 10:3 -For they being ignorant of God's righteousness, and going about to establish their own righteousness, have not submitted themselves unto the righteousness of God.
All of our righteousnesses are as filthy rags in God's sight. We can try, in our own strength, to live a good life. But, without Christ, we are dead in our sins, we are wicked, vile, and corrupt.
Isa 64:6 - But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.
Only in Christ can we find righteousness.
Ro 3:22 - Even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference:
I urge anyone reading this who is trying to live a good life in and of their own strength: Cry out to the Lord today in repentance that He would have mercy upon you and save you from your sins and wickedness, that He would cover you with His blood shed on the cross for the sins of His people, and that you would no longer live unto yourself, but that you would live a life of righteouness and holiness, through the grace of God.
What a Lie!
Our society today has such a low view of children. I've been appalled to receive comments from people saying they think the government should limit the number of children people are allowed to have. This sinful, selfish view of life is a direct result of humanistic philosophy which permeats our society and begins in the public education system. People are trained to believe that me, myself, and I are number one. The general consensus I've picked up on is that children take so much time, work, and effort and cost so much money, that you should do everything in your power to limit your family size. What a lie! For one, raising children is the most rewarding vocation anyone could have. It is also the highest and most noble calling you can have in this life -- to train and raise the next generation up for the glory of God! If you do not believe this, I urge you to read the Bible through and notice how a multi-generational vision is the pervading message of Scripture. We are to train our children, so they can train their children, who will in turn train their children, and on and on down the line. Of course, it is a lot of work, but the rewards far, far outwiegh the sacrifices. Secondly, having a lot of children does not have to cost a lot of money. Where does the Bible say that children need to have a lot of things or that parents have to pay for a college education for their children? This is another myth we've been fed by humanistic teachers. Children don't have to cost a lot of money and God will provide what you need for the family size He's given you. Giving your children love and quality time (and don't tell me that you can't spend time with your children if you have 16 of them -- Think about it: If a mother stays home with her children and the family is home-centered, she'll have plenty of time to spend with her children. She will be with them, spending time with them all day every day. On the other hand, women who are gone all day long and who give up their mothering responsibilities to other care providers and then spend the extra available time shuffling children all over town will be guaranteed to spend a lot less quality time with their children, even if they only have one or two.) and teaching them Scripture is the best gifts you can give to your children-- worth more than anything money can buy. There are plenty of alternatives to expensive health insurance. (Check out Samaritan Ministries for one such alternative.) You can grow your own food (and when you have a lot of children, you'll have plenty of helpers for your garden!), you can sew your own clothes, you can assign your children to find the best buys on household appliances as part of their school projects. A couple hundred years ago, the more children you had, the wealthier you were. Why? Because all members of the family contributed to the family. It was a joint-effort. Today, parents are expected to pay for everything, and often to give their children allowance and extra spending money on top of that. Children should be taught from birth that they are not an independent free-for-all smoocher. They are an integral, needed asset to the family. They should be taught responsibility by having to earn their own money to pay for their own things. When they are old enough, they should be required to participate in helping to run the household (cooking, cleaning, laundry, ironing, fixing things, and so on). I know of five-year-olds who can cook basic meals, clean bathrooms, wash dishes, and do their own laundry. In our family, once we were old enough to help, we were required to help. It wasn't an option. It was just expected. We learned the value of hard work and that by working together, we could get a lot more done. I think it is almost harder for me to run a household of three with just a baby and no help, than it was for my mom. For years, she never did any cleaning, cooking, ironing, or laundry. Her chief responsibilities were to be a wife, spend quality time teaching us and mothering us, and, as she was able, minister to other women. I'm so grateful that my parents gave us the responsibilities they did from an early age. Sure, I didn't always want to do my chores, but I learned so many valuable life lessons by doing so. My parents were raising us to be responsible adults. And, we got so much more done, working together as a family. We could minister to so many people and do so many things, because we all worked together.
Daycares Don't Care
What's the difference between daycares and the Duggar household? The question has been asked by a few on this blog and I'd be glad to answer. So far, everyone who has made this assessment on this blog is not a mother themself. Guess what? You'll probably change your mind once you become a mother. Why? Because there is something about a mother's love which nothing and no one in this whole wide world can replace. Daycare workers might be very loving and caring, but they will NEVER care for a child like a child's own mother would. Period. Older siblings also have a bond with younger siblings that a daycare worker could never replace. Why can I make such a statement? Because I am a mother, I am an older sister, and I spent years of my life working with children who were not related to me. There is a huge difference. Much as I loved these children whom I babysat for, cared for, taught, homeschooled and more, I never had the love and strong bond for them that I have for my little brother or my daughter. My little brother, Zachary, was born was I was 17 (As a side note: My mom was 45 when he was born. She had her best and easiest pregnancy with him, she gained the least weight, and he was a full 1 1/2 pounds larger than the rest of were when we were born. I was privileged to be able to attend his birth. My older sister, who was apprenticing under a midwife at the time, delivered him with the oversight of two midwives. How cool is that? It was an incredible experience!). I got to help care for him and do almost everything a mother would do for him-- including bathing, staying up in the middle of the night with him, changing him, and, as he grew, schooling and potty-training him. Of course, my mom was his primary caregiver and we had to beg and wait our turn to be able to do these things with him. But, we loved him so very much that we wanted to take care of him as much as was possible.  Zachary, as the ring-bearer, at my sister's weddingAfter Kathrynne's birth, I realized that the bond I have with Zachary is the same bond I have with her, only my bond with her and love for her is much stronger (I didn't know that was possible, but being a mom is not something you can understand or describe until you experience it!).  Kathrynne and her mamma
A Question for Mothers
Since we're talking about children, I thought it appropriate to post the following question for discussion: Erin asked on her blog:"How does your life change once you have children? How do children affect your relationship with your husband? What is the best way to prepare for all of these changes?"
There are a lot of young women who read this blog who would appreciate the wisdom and counsel from you experienced moms on this subject, so post away! I would also love to hear creative ideas for keeping your marriage strong when you have little ones.
Another Big Happy Family
Martha emailed me in response to this post: "I always read with interest on the articles like the Duggars and others as I come from a large family. I am the oldest of 11 children, 7 girls and 4 boys. I am 26 and my youngest brother is 6. I am really thankful I was part of a large family, I think we had so many more opportunities that we would not have learned if we were from a smaller family. My closest friends are my sisters and my mom! I do not think a day goes by that I don't talk to more than one of them. Our relationships have carried on to adulthood, more than other friends we had in our childhood. We learned how to earn our way in life rather than be handed everything. We worked for music lessons, bikes, objects etc. I think one of the biggest differences I have seen between families with less than 4 children and ones with 4 or more is the attitude differences. Yes, there are the selfish attitudes, but for the most part there is a different attitude towards life. We enjoy being around people, we see what we want and we go for it, and we love being with our family. Family gatherings are huge though! Right now with 2 son-in-laws, 7 grandchildren, 11 children, and 2 adults, we have a group of 22 just with immediate family, let alone if we invite anyone else over! It makes so we do not need outside entertainment! My boys love playing with their uncles! Paul is 7 and has a uncle that is 8 and one that is 6! Not many people have an uncle younger than them! -Martha"
A high and holy calling
"I don't have a problem with large families but if you aren't going to train your children to be nice, respectful and well-behaved I don't think you should have them. It's not fair to the rest of us. I have run across people with the 'quiver-full' belief and their attitude has been 'it doesn't matter how my kids behave, you have to just put up with it.' -Mrs. B"
Great comment, Mrs. B! I wanted to address this to make it clear that I am not promoting irresponsibility. If the Lord calls you to have many children, He also calls you to give of yourself to train and raise those children to the glory of God! God will give you the grace to do so, if you trust Him for it-- no matter whether you have 2 or 10 or 20 children. I'm not advocating that you just pop out a bunch of children and let them fend for themselves! Parenting is a huge responsibility and a high and holy calling.
Life in a Large Family
I was blessed to be raised in a family of nine. I'm the second oldest of seven children ranging in age from 27 to 6. Growing up, we received more than a fair amount of stares and jeers, but we were never embarrassed or bothered by it. In fact, I can't imagine life in a small family. My parents are the greatest and I'm so thankful for them. I know so many women who's goal in life is to the opposite of their mother. I'd give just about anything to be as wonderful as my mom. A few blessings of growing up in a large family: We grew up with our own built-in social circle. Anyone who has met and interacted with my family knows that we are all best friends. We are still very, very close today, even though thousands of miles separate some of us. We learned to work hard and be unselfish. Everyone learned to pitch in and do their part. Everyone had to cooperate, share, and help for life to run smoothly. We also learned to get along with "difficult people." In a family of nine, you are not always going to get your way. It's great to learn this while you are young, because this is how life works. We were well-prepared for life. My mom had each of us take responsibility for laundry, ironing, cleaning, cooking, and so forth, for a time so that we could learn how to do it well. When I got married, I didn't have to learn anything-- I knew how to cook, clean, keep house, grocery shop, budget, iron, do laundry, mend, and so forth. Married life was a very easy transition for me because I'd already been practicing my homemaking skills for so long. I also knew how to take care of children and teach children since I'd had plenty of experience doing so. Was my family perfect? By no means. Was it hard for my parents to have seven children instead of two? Of course. There were always challenges and difficulties. But, I can promise you that the rewards have far, far exceeded the difficulties. My parents only planned to have two children in the beginning. After my sister and I were born, my parents decided they would have one more, since they really wanted a boy. It was around that time that the Lord changed their hearts to realize that "Children are an heritage of the Lord." They began praying that the Lord would bless them with many children. Today, they look back and think how terribly quiet and sad their lives would be if they didn't still have a house bustling with life and activity. We always laugh about how they would sit at their little dining room table in a completely quiet house. Instead, the dining room table seats 8 and every meal is quite lively-- three people talking at once (you should hear us get going when our whole family is together! It's nonstop chatter!), someone asking for something to be passed, Mom and Dad are constantly up and down getting things, etc. And they love it! They wouldn't trade their life for anyone's. Edit: Please don't think I am saying that you can only learn these qualities if you have a large family. I'm just saying that it is a lot easier to learn to be unselfish. For instance, when we were going through marriage counselling, the pastor was talking about how we would need to learn to "die to self" and not have things done our way when we got married. He was mentioning how maybe one of us rolls up the toothpaste tube and the other person likes to have it twisted. I chuckled and said, "I share a bathroom with four girls, if we have the lid on our toothpaste tube, we're doing really good." Honestly, after sharing a room and a bathroom with 2 or more people for most of my life, being married was a "piece of cake." :)
Home Organization Tips from a Mother of 16
Don't Be Miserable, Just Miserly!
I appreciate the comments from some people on not depriving ourselves and our families for the sake of frugality. As with anything, you can go overboard, and frugality is one area where this can be done. Being "miserly" does not have to be synonymous with "miserable"! Even when we were living on $800-$1000/month, we still found ways to have fun and we definitely occasionally "splurged." We found that, by using coupons, we could go to a few restaurants for $6 for both of us and get a pretty decent dinner. :) So, we had fun doing that about once a month. Or, we would go to our local bookstore and both get a coffee and sit and read for a few hours. It could cost under $5 and yet it was lots of fun! Our bowling alley has $0.99 nights where games and shoes are $0.99-- so we took advantage of this a lot. We could both bowl 2 games and it was $6. Read Kim's post on their special date night which won't break your budget.Dates and enjoyable times together-- as families and as husband and wife-- don't have to clean out your wallet. I love the book, Miserly Moms, because Jonni teaches you how to enjoy life-- for a lot less-- without missing out on "life."
Cutting Back on Meat
Zan asked about what we eat to "fill up on" instead of meat (we don't eat a lot of meat). Here are a few things we do: 1. We usually start our dinner every night with a big salad complete with a few different kinds of leafy greens and other veggies, croutons, and cheese. Having a a big bowl of salad first is one great way to get more fresh veggies eaten and it also fills us up! 2. Eat complete proteins- Believe it or not, there are many great ways to serve beans and rice. :) We also eat lots of eggs (my husband doesn't like them plain, but he'll eat lots of french toast, breakfast casserole, etc.) and cheese (I can get cheese for much cheaper than meat, so I use it a lot less sparingly. 3. Don't serve meat as the main item. If we have meat, it is almost always cooked and chopped and mixed in with other things in a casserole, put in soup, sprinkled on salad, stir-fried and served over rice, etc. 4. Serve homemade bread. Homemade bread adds such a great touch to any meal! Plus, if it's made with whole grains, it's excellent for you. And, you can make it in minutes in your bread machine. Just some starter ideas. Any others want to pipe up?
| | |
"I encourage you to read the Bible again. It is the Truth, the absolute Truth. There is no other source from which we can derive absolute Truth. Only in Christ. Christians have a peace that no other religion or faith can have because we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that what we believe is the truth. It is not a belief which is not based upon our own reasoning or our own infallibility-- it is based in the infallible, inerrant Word of God.
God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent. He has no beginning and no end. He is Eternal and Unchanging.
Heaven is not about happiness, heaven is about living in the everlasting presence of the Lord -- forever and forever. It is about glorifying and worshipping our great God who reigns on high. Hell is the exact opposite. It is eternal separation from God. Eternal torment.
No one deserves heaven. We are all worthy of death and hell. God in His rich grace and mercy sent His one and only Son to earth to die the most horrific death anyone has ever died so that those who call on the Name of the Lord and repent of their sin might have life everlasting.
Before I became a Christian, I struggled with great doubts and uncertainty... What is the purpose of life? Why am I here? Why is there death and hell? I struggled with this for five years. I was in mental anguish. I wanted to know the Truth. I wanted to be a good person. I tried so hard. I worked so hard. I prayed so hard. But, for all I did, it was never good enough. I was never satisfied. I was never at peace.
Since my salvation, God has done a remarkable work in my heart. I am a changed person. My fears are gone. My doubts are gone. My old desires and sinful natures are gone. I am no longer in bondage to sin. I have peace in my inner soul because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am a child of God. I am no longer living in my strength and infallibility. I am completely and wholly relying upon the Lord. I have a desire to follow Him with all of my heart, to walk in holiness, to uprightly, to seek the Lord with my whole heart.
God is so good. I wish you could know His saving power and transformation and the peace and joy which only comes from salvation in Christ."
And now, a question: