I Overlooked the Obvious
Sometimes, as a new mom, I seem to overlook the obvious. I wanted to thank everyone who shared help and ideas for training Kathrynne to stay close beside me. Realizing that I can train her to stay close beside me has revolutionized my life. I've only been "Tomato Staking" since this past Friday, and there has already been marked improvement. I am happier, she is happier, and Daddy is happier.
I had been struggling with a lot of guilt for the past few months. There are quite a number of responsibilities that God has currently given to me and I was feeling pulled in many different directions. No matter how hard I tried, I was always feeling guilty -- especially in my mothering. No matter how much time I spent with Kathrynne, I always felt like I should be spending more. Well, keeping her by my side all day long (except when she's napping or Daddy is caring for her) has certainly relieved that guilt! And, I am delighting in her even more!
Kathrynne is happier because she gets to be helping mama all day long and she has my constant oversight. Daddy has noticed a marked change in her attitude and she is already showing the fruits of our training by being much more obedient and listening and coming (sometimes, at least!) when we call her.
And, last but not least, Jesse is continually telling me how glad he is for me to be putting forth the effort to keep her by my side and with me at all times. One of the greatest gifts a husband can give to his wife is to tell her how much he appreciates her efforts. Jesse has told me multiple times the past few days how grateful he is for me to be working with Kathrynne in this way. Do you know how it warms my heart to hear these words from my husband? To know that I am pleasing him and thus, pleasing the Lord.
Surprisingly, I've been getting so much more done, too. I thought that it would be easier to have Kathrynne playing in the other room while I clean the kitchen or bathroom or work on projects that must be done. Actually, by having her "help" me, it keeps me on task more (I'm usually highly distractable, despite all of my efforts to not be so), I get more done, and she is learning right along with me. Someday she'll be able to do many of these tasks by herself.
Yesterday, I gave her a sponge and had her "help" scrub part of the floor, while I was scrubbing down our oven. She loved it and it brought me such joy to see my daughter already delighting in serving -- even before she can talk or walk.
I share all of this not to brag on any "good mothering" on my part -- believe me, I have so far to go and so much to learn, even in such basic areas! I share this, rather, to express my appreciation for your helpful encouragement to this newbie mom. I am so blessed to be surrounded by wise and Godly mothers who are much experienced than me who can give me guidance, counsel, and advice when I am struggling.
Pray for me to be consistent in this. I am determined, by the grace of God, to follow through and keep up with this, but it will take a lot of God's grace. Consistency is definitely not my forte.
I had been struggling with a lot of guilt for the past few months. There are quite a number of responsibilities that God has currently given to me and I was feeling pulled in many different directions. No matter how hard I tried, I was always feeling guilty -- especially in my mothering. No matter how much time I spent with Kathrynne, I always felt like I should be spending more. Well, keeping her by my side all day long (except when she's napping or Daddy is caring for her) has certainly relieved that guilt! And, I am delighting in her even more!
Kathrynne is happier because she gets to be helping mama all day long and she has my constant oversight. Daddy has noticed a marked change in her attitude and she is already showing the fruits of our training by being much more obedient and listening and coming (sometimes, at least!) when we call her.
And, last but not least, Jesse is continually telling me how glad he is for me to be putting forth the effort to keep her by my side and with me at all times. One of the greatest gifts a husband can give to his wife is to tell her how much he appreciates her efforts. Jesse has told me multiple times the past few days how grateful he is for me to be working with Kathrynne in this way. Do you know how it warms my heart to hear these words from my husband? To know that I am pleasing him and thus, pleasing the Lord.
Surprisingly, I've been getting so much more done, too. I thought that it would be easier to have Kathrynne playing in the other room while I clean the kitchen or bathroom or work on projects that must be done. Actually, by having her "help" me, it keeps me on task more (I'm usually highly distractable, despite all of my efforts to not be so), I get more done, and she is learning right along with me. Someday she'll be able to do many of these tasks by herself.
Yesterday, I gave her a sponge and had her "help" scrub part of the floor, while I was scrubbing down our oven. She loved it and it brought me such joy to see my daughter already delighting in serving -- even before she can talk or walk.
I share all of this not to brag on any "good mothering" on my part -- believe me, I have so far to go and so much to learn, even in such basic areas! I share this, rather, to express my appreciation for your helpful encouragement to this newbie mom. I am so blessed to be surrounded by wise and Godly mothers who are much experienced than me who can give me guidance, counsel, and advice when I am struggling.
Pray for me to be consistent in this. I am determined, by the grace of God, to follow through and keep up with this, but it will take a lot of God's grace. Consistency is definitely not my forte.
posted by Crystal Paine at 5:47 PM
10 Comments:
Crystal-
That is so wonderful! I hope to have the same experience soon. My 7 month old is such a sweetie, but he's certainly starting to be a challenge. He's recently starte taking the glasses off of my face before I have a chance to put in my contacts, pulling my hair, etc. I hope I can start to "train" him as successfully as you are w/Kathrynne.
Also, I completely relate to the "guilt" feeling. I even feel guilty when he fusses when I leave the room to change the laundry. I'm getting the feeling that guilt is something I will struggle w/as long as I am a mother (so, forever), but I hope not to let it stop me from disciplining my son in a Godly way. Sometimes, I think guilt can keep us from setting the limits that we know we need to set w/our children.
Thanks for the encouragement!
Crystal, how sweet is was to read about Kathrynne helping you scrub the floor! Thank you for sharing how "Tomato Staking" is working fo you. It's obvious that Kathrynne is very loved and that you truly want what is best for her, even when (you think at first) it might be somewhat inconvenient for you. It's neat that you have had the added benefit of being able to stay on task better with her by your side. Isn't it wonderful how God blesses when we seek to obey Him, even in the hard things? Praise be to God!
Crystal,
Thought you might find this interesting. Good Morning America has been doing a segment called the "Mommy Wars." I haven't seen any of the interviews but my sister saw the lady they interviewed today and she said that staying home with your kids was actually hurting them instead of helping them. I was very troubled by her statements which you can read on abcnews.com.
I think they will be having different guests all week. I have NEVER met a baby/toddler who thought it was a blast to leave mommy. I loved to know where she got her "stats" from.
She also said that women were hurting society and women by staying home. I sense a lot of fear from these types of women because they see more mothers staying home. I just thought it was incredible how this woman tried to make putting family first as bad.
Back on the original subject, I keep George with me as much as possible because he can get into trouble so easily. I hope you aren't feeling too guilty about the time spent with your girl. I am worried that I will be neglecting George once the baby comes. It will be very hard to balance everything.
Glad things are working so well for you and your little punkin!
Melanie B
I had no idea there was a 'label' to the technique we used :-0. Of course, we just kept our son with us because we thought he was so hysterical, we never wanted to be without his silliness! Personally, I HATE baby gates; I had a small house and felt I could effectively teach Oz how to stay with me by doing that... keeping him with me. I did it because I enjoyed his company!
We now have two children and a much bigger house. My 7 month old is crawling all over and pulling up to cruise furniture at any given time. I still don't use gates (mostly I dislike them because my legs are too short to get over them easily) and I keep my boys with me. I have a play room for my two year old but I keep the creepy crawler with me all the time.
Katie in Ohio
Thanks for sharing your continued adventures in parenting! I really appreciated your commentor who mentioned the Raising Godly Tomatoes site. I have enjoyed reading that site over the past week, and I am encouraged to know that I WILL be able to raise and train Godly children (with God's help and grace, and with continued advice from Godly mothers!)
In reference to Zan's comment, I was just talking about this with my DH yesterday. I was saying how at my childrens dance classes and Tae kwon do classes, most of the children who attend school and daycare ect. are VERY clingy and whiny with their parents. It takes them days to warm up and feel comfortable. Sometimes they scream and refuse to go to classes at all. Whereas my children, who are homeschooled and have never been in any type of daycare, are outgoing and they never cling to me when its time to go to their classes. I just thought that it was interesting, when most people say that sending them to school them to school and daycare is supposed to make them more social and independent. (lol) If thats what it means to to be more social and independent I want no part of it. ; )
Amatthia www.homeschoolblogger.com/amatthia
Katie,
I feel the same way about baby gates. I have two. One is mainly to keep the dog from our living room so she won't pee on the carpet. The other gate I sometimes set up at the top of the stairs because our stairs are so steep.
However, my sister has a gate around her wood stove. My husband and I decided against this idea. My son has never burned himself yet, my sister's toddler has made it his mission in life to get behind that gate and get to the woodstove. He burned himself really bad on his hands and yet he still tries to get to the woodstove. I think it is because that area is off limits.
O.k. sorry one more comment on what Zan said ;) I fully agree with you about not putting the gate around the woodstove!!! Children NEED to understand the concept of what hot is. My DD, since she was 8 months, knew what hot is. It is something I find VERY important for children to comprehend. I will put her hand near something warm (NOT HOT) and quickly pull it away and say "No, thats hot". I do this by anything slightly warm. She knows now at 10 months NOT to touch anything that she feels could even be slightly warm and if I tell her "no its hot" (like when she crawls by the stove). She puts her hand up and says Hah (hot) and crawls around it. Sorry for the long comment, I just wanted to stress how important it is for children to comprehend what hot is as such a young age.
Amatthia www.homeschoolblogger.com/amatthia
I've been thinking about tomato staking ever since reading about it a few weeks ago. How did you actually decide to try it, though? (Maybe you already mentioned that and I just missed it.) I mean, it sounds like a useful idea, I just don't know how to know if I really want to or should do it.
And I hope that makes sense. :-)
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