A Word to the Feminists
After all the not-so-lovely comments I received from feminists and their co-horts to this post (all of which I opted not to post because this blog is not a forum for anti-Biblical, anti-family rhetoric), I'm seriously wondering if these women have ever met anything but a dysfunctional family. Sometimes I wish some of these individuals could just spend a few hours with some of the wonderful, happy Christian families I know. Maybe they would change their tune. I truly don't think they believe it is possible that I can submit to my husband and have a wonderful marriage. Newsflash: It is not only possible, it is the only way to have a wonderful marriage.
I'm so happy and blessed to be a help meet to my husband instead of trying to fend for myself out there in this world. I need a protector and not only that, I want a protector. I need a husband who is my head, who is my authority, who I look to for guidance and counsel and direction. And I need a husband who loves me and sacrifices every day of his life for me. We both complete each other. He needs me to fulfill my God-ordained role, just as I need Him to fulfill His God-ordained role. No we're not perfect and we both have a long way to go, but we are sure blessed and rejoicing in the life that God has called us to live. We are truly fulfilled. We don't need to turn to anything the world has to offer to try and fill up a "void" in our life. We have everything we need and we are blessed beyond measure.
A "unisex" society will only lead to chaos and ruin. Following God's plan leads to a blessed life rich with fulfillment and joy!
I'm so happy and blessed to be a help meet to my husband instead of trying to fend for myself out there in this world. I need a protector and not only that, I want a protector. I need a husband who is my head, who is my authority, who I look to for guidance and counsel and direction. And I need a husband who loves me and sacrifices every day of his life for me. We both complete each other. He needs me to fulfill my God-ordained role, just as I need Him to fulfill His God-ordained role. No we're not perfect and we both have a long way to go, but we are sure blessed and rejoicing in the life that God has called us to live. We are truly fulfilled. We don't need to turn to anything the world has to offer to try and fill up a "void" in our life. We have everything we need and we are blessed beyond measure.
A "unisex" society will only lead to chaos and ruin. Following God's plan leads to a blessed life rich with fulfillment and joy!
posted by Crystal Paine at 10:13 AM
15 Comments:
Amen! Here's to having a hero in our lives...true knights in shining armor.
Hmm. That makes me think: if the knights are in shining armor, who do you think was at home shining that armor for him? ;) A woman who loves him.
I think you're right. Only bitterness--and years of indoctrination--can lead to such a dark conception of Christian family life. The family, as God created it, is one of His most precious gifts to us! I LOVE being my husband's wife and having him as my head.
I don't expect you'll post this but I feel the need to comment anyway.
First of all, I must say I enjoy your writing even when I disagree with it, because of the passion and joy that comes through.
But when you get all up against feminism and say that, for example, we don't need or like men, or that your way of marriage is the only way to have a happy marriage, I get a little snippy. So I'd like ask you to please avoid dramatically taking down obvious straw man arguments, because all it does is make you look intellectually dishonest.
That said, while I'm happy for you that you've found a way of life that works for you, I'd like to take this moment to advocate just as passionately for my way of life.
I'm so happy and blessed that the man I'm going to marry supports me and respects me in the career I love, and is willing to share with me the responsibilities both of bringing in money and of caring for home and possible future children.
I need and want a protector from time to time, and in times of need, I have one. He needs and wants one too, and I'm honoured to be there for him when he needs me.
I need a husband who is my equal, who is my rock, who I look to for love and support and challenge and growth, and who looks to me for the same. I need a husband who loves me and sacrifices every day of his life for me, and I need to love him back and sacrifice for him.
I need him on my side as together we face the challenges life throws at us, complementing one another's weakness with strength.
He and I have a long way to go too, but together I believe we are going to make it.
And this will only lead to chaos and ruin?
TComfyshoes: Thanks for posting. My view on marriage is not "my view" per se, but what I believe is clearly ladi out in Scripture. If you can show me -- from Scripture -- that what I believe is not right, I'm happy to listen. I've searched the Bible high and low and haven't found any straw that supports egalitarianism. The husband and wife are not the same -- they have different roles and functions. A marriage or family with no head and no authority, or two heads, or the wife as the authority will produce destruction to that family. You can disagree with me all you want, but you can't disagree with God.
Whether people want to believe it or not, feminism is destroying the family. That's why I'm passionately, unashamedly, and unabashedly going to speak out against it until I have no breath left in me. I cannot just blindly turn the other way and avoid speaking out against this subject. If you are a feminist, I truly hope that what I write on this blog upsets you. But I also hope that it makes you think and really examine where the core beliefs that you so happily seem to promote and endorse will end up leading this country. It's not a pretty picture and children, men, families, and marriages are suffering because of it.
We won't get very far by arguing Scripture, because you have it on your side and I know that. And arguing about whether the Scriptures are true won't get us very far because they're the foundation of everything you know and love, and to me it's just another book.
But the things I happily promote and endorse, as you put it, I promote and endorse because I believe they will lead us to a society that is just and safe. Where moms like you will get the respect you deserve for doing the most important job in the world, and where men who want to do that important job will also have the opportunity to do so and receive that same respect. Where women like me will have the same opportunities your husband does, and not be looked down on for their choice. The world I'm dreaming of, to steal a quote, would be one where people are judged not on the congruence of their behavior with the arrangement of their reproductive organs, but on the content of their characters.
I completely agree with you that today families, marriages, and children are suffering, but I don't think it's feminism that's to blame. I think it's selfishness. People wanting all the benefits of their relationship without having to do the work. For example:
- men in traditional Christian marriages who want to be the boss, but don't want to do the sacficing
- women in traditional Christian marriages who want to be sacrificed for, but don't want to do the submitting
- women in non-traditional marriages who are so busy trying to have it all that they neglect those who should be the most important people in their lives
- men in non-traditional marriages who like the money their wives bring in but won't do their share of the house/child work that she now doesn't have time for
- men who want sex, and the status of having impregnated a woman, but don't want to do any relationship work
- women who just want sperm donors and a paycheck
So feminism has given us some new ways to really mess things up, but things had plenty of mess-up potential anyway.
On the other hand, feminism has also given us new ways to find fulfillment and joy - which don't matter to people like you, for whom the old ways work, but for those of us that God doesn't quite seem to have made to fit the mold, it makes all the difference in the world.
An interesting thing about feminism also, in its earliest days - a lot of it was about getting men to live up to their traditional responsibilities, like not getting drunk and beating their wives. It was radical only because it was from the perspective that women are people who deserve not to be treated like that.
TC: The only way to have peace is through Christ. He is the only One Who can give anyone hope or the ability to turn from sin to God.
Men who are not treating women right do not need feminism, they need Christ.
And you need Christ, too. Without Him, you have no hope. You will live a life without meaning and without hope and die a death which leads to an eternity without God in everlasting torment.
No one deserves anything. We are all sinners in need of a Saviour. We do not deserve life, mercy, or the grace of God.
Without Christ, there is no basis for morality. Without Christ, we have no value and no meaning for life. Without Christ, husbands cannot truly love their wives or honor them. Feminism cannot change men, only Christ can change men.
You see, Scripture does not just command wives to submit to, honor, and reverence their husbands, Scripture is replete with commands for husbands to love their wives. Any man who seeks to honor the Lord and follow Him, will do everything he can to love, cherish, and honor his wife.
Eph 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Col 3:19 - Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
1Pe 3:7 - Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
You see, without God and the Bible, there will only be selfishness because that is our natural tendency. We want to serve ourself. Only through the saving grace of Christ and trusting in His death on the Cross, can we be saved from a life of selfishness.
Feminism encourages selfishness. It encourages women to look after themselves and no one else. It encourages them to do whatever they think best. To look out for themselves above anyone else. To be their own boss and do their own thing.
If it were not for Christ and His saving work in my life, you can be sure I would be the most ardent feminist of them all. I would be climbing the corporate career ladder trying to be the best businesswoman out there. Believe me, I'm as stubborn and as determined as they come. But, I know that this is not what God would have for me. I know that this is not my place and I know that this is not what would bring joy. Sure, I might be able to receive worldly praise and make a lot of money and have lots of expensive things, but I wouldn't be fulfilled. I would be a selfish, self-centered woman.
My life is not a glamourous life. There are days when I'd like to throw in the towel, if I could only find a clean one! -- I'm tired, my husband needs my help, my daughter needs me, there are dishes, laundry, and meals to be made, and I don't feel like I have anything left to give. But, inspite of a sometimes messy house or a sleepless night, I can still smile and rejoice because I know that I am in the center of God's will. "It is more blessed to give than to receive." I am fulfilled and happy in loving and serving my husband, my daughter, and the others the Lord brings my way. And I wouldn't trade my life for all the glitter and noteriety that the world has to offer. Not in a million years.
Whew! That was a long comment!
Crystal
You blame feminism on everything. That is a symptom. We must get to the root causes and unforgiveness is a major root. Until you do recognize the root causes instead of the symtoms then I am afraid you will be out of breath. The prodical son is an excellent example of the father showing forgiveness toward his wayward son. If the father sided with the son who always did the right thing but had a heavy heart there would be no joy or laughter. First things first. God wants to love, cleans and heal us. He wants our hearts first. Then the relationships and childbearing and marriage will come much easier.
It is OK to submit, honor or reverence your husband but be careful not to worship your husband. He is still a human being not a knight and shining armor. Please come visit New York.
((Feminism encourages selfishness. It encourages women to look after themselves and no one else. It encourages them to do whatever they think best. To look out for themselves above anyone else. To be their own boss and do their own thing.))
This quote is EXACTLY what I observed growing up. I was raised around women with a feminist philosophy(mother, aunt, grandmother, great aunt). Most of the women in my family weren't militant feminists but a couple were. Being 'happy' and 'fulfilled' were huge buzzwords. It is also my observation that the feminists who did live a 'traditional' life resented doing so and tried to raise their daughters to not get bogged down with husbands and children like they were.
This quote is the epitome of selfishness.....
((One Grinnell College feminist wrote the following:
“There is only one … thing that I want to say, and it’s concerning abortion rights. (***I deleted this part of the quote because it was too explicit***).......Was the male baby on his own, supporting himself, giving himself life? No, he wasn’t, biologically, a baby is a parasite. As a learned person, you ought to know this: a baby, in his or her mother’s womb is a parasite. Thus, the woman has a right to do with it as she pleases, much as her finger or her leg; she is physically giving it life, and thus she has control over it.”))
A parasite??!! Yes, the mother nourishes the baby with her body but referring to a baby as a 'parasite' is very telling.
Well we both seem to be on to the long comments today :-)
But it's your blog and your space, and I can't push the issue without getting into territory that would likely make a lot of your readers uncomfortable. I don't want to be a troll, just someone who honestly, sincerely, and passionately disagrees.
I am feeling even more fulfilled as a woman this week...I just found out my husband and I are expecting our first baby!
I am so thankful that God worked on my heart all last year, showing me the un-Biblical attitudes about my own womanhood that were in my heart, about me, my husband, and children...I'm so blessed that He loved me enough to teach me and change me...and prepare me for this new gift He's just given us!
Becky!! Congratulations!! I am so excited for you. What an incredible blessing from the Lord. You will make a super mom, too!
When are you due and how are you feeling? If you'd rather not post this online, feel free to email me. :)
Georgia, I don't blame everything on feminism. It goes much deeper. The root of all of our societal problems is sin. One huge manifestation of this sin and rebellion against God's ordained design is feminism, though.
You are right that God is a merciful and forgiving God, but He cannot be merciful to those who are not repentant. Repentance is a turning from sin and a turning to God. Without God, there is no hope and there is no hope for a good marriage, you are absolutely right. It is because of God's love for me, that I can love, honor, serve, and cherish my husband.
I don't worship my husband, I just reverence him. I worship God and one way to worship God is to follow His command to reverence my husband.
Amen to this post, and also to Crystal's comment! I can honestly say that an easier thing to do for a woman would be to follow the pack and hop on the feminist bandwagon. It doesn't take a genius to get a masters degree (just a lot of time and money), and any woman can be a hardworking career woman. Any woman can demand equality from her husband, any woman can pay the bills, and any woman can tell her friends and family that she doesn't "depend" on a man. It doesn't take a strong woman to do these things. But when a woman obey's Gods word and becomes a helpmeet to her husband, a full-time mother to her children, and a homemaker, even though the world stands against her....that takes strength! In my opinion, doing what everyone else is doing doesn't take strength or courage, it's doing what is Biblical even when you stand alone that takes strength and courage!
t. comfy shoes said:
"I completely agree with you that today families, marriages, and children are suffering, but I don't think it's feminism that's to blame. I think it's selfishness"
Yes, you are correct here t. comfy shoes, but the feminists are the selfish ones here, always fighting for THEIR RIGHTS to be equal, ect. ITS all about THEM, not their family, not their children and not their husbands, its about THEM!
Crystal, thanks for the congratulations!
I am due sometime mid October...I will know for sure after I have my first sonogram in March (I'm only 6 weeks along right now!).
I feel wonderful....God has blessed me with no sickness so far!
One big act of God's providence already...I wasn't sure how I would afford maternity clothes. When I called my best friend to tell her the news, after the congrats, she said, "There's one downside...I was just in New Orleans and a department store was getting rid of a bunch of slightly flood-damaged clothes...so I had a whole box of your size to send you, but you won't be able to wear them very long. I'll send you a couple sizes up instead!"
So I just received a whole box full of clothes that I can grow into!
AND my husband will be having a second interview for a great job in a couple weeks. It's amazing...as we stepped out in faith and trusted God to bring children in His time, He is completely meeting our needs.
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