Your labors are not in vain
Okay, so I made a lot of enemies by saying that women need protectors. A few people called me some really, really ugly names (and I was thankful to have comment moderation on -- saved anyone else from having to read a lot of nastiness!). A handful of people said they were never going to read my blog again.
That's okay. If you want to kick against the God-ordained roles for women and be your own boss, have it your way. It's your life and you have to give account for it.
However, I will continue to joyfully defend what I believe is very clear from Scripture -- wives are to submit to their own husbands, in everything.
For those feminists who think we are completely off our rockers and subjected to a sad, sorry state, I thought you might be interested in reading this article which explains what a wife's submission to her husband should look like. (HT: Becky Miller)
You will notice that it doesn't say women are less intelligent or that women are chattel. Quite the opposite. Although I take issue with the statement in this article that modern feminism has done anything worthwhile for society (We don't need feminism to expose or combat pornography - we need the Word of God. And so on and so forth for any "good" thing which people hold up as resulting from feminism -- God's Word has spoken thousands of years ago to the worth and value of women. If we would just go back to the Scriptures, we would have plenty more help than any "good thing" feminism has tried to give us. And we wouldn't have all the garbage that came along with the modern feministic movement to deal with either!), I thought there were a lot of good points expressed in this article which might further clarify to those so baffled and upset by remarks about women submitting to men which were expressed earlier.
For those women who are embracing their high callings as joyfully submissive wives and daughters, keep on! You are a beautiful testimony of Christ and the Church to a cold and dark world.
Your labors are not in vain. Your rewards in heaven will be great! Go love on your children, smile and serve your husband, and sing while you clean your bathroom.
That's okay. If you want to kick against the God-ordained roles for women and be your own boss, have it your way. It's your life and you have to give account for it.
However, I will continue to joyfully defend what I believe is very clear from Scripture -- wives are to submit to their own husbands, in everything.
For those feminists who think we are completely off our rockers and subjected to a sad, sorry state, I thought you might be interested in reading this article which explains what a wife's submission to her husband should look like. (HT: Becky Miller)
You will notice that it doesn't say women are less intelligent or that women are chattel. Quite the opposite. Although I take issue with the statement in this article that modern feminism has done anything worthwhile for society (We don't need feminism to expose or combat pornography - we need the Word of God. And so on and so forth for any "good" thing which people hold up as resulting from feminism -- God's Word has spoken thousands of years ago to the worth and value of women. If we would just go back to the Scriptures, we would have plenty more help than any "good thing" feminism has tried to give us. And we wouldn't have all the garbage that came along with the modern feministic movement to deal with either!), I thought there were a lot of good points expressed in this article which might further clarify to those so baffled and upset by remarks about women submitting to men which were expressed earlier.
For those women who are embracing their high callings as joyfully submissive wives and daughters, keep on! You are a beautiful testimony of Christ and the Church to a cold and dark world.
Your labors are not in vain. Your rewards in heaven will be great! Go love on your children, smile and serve your husband, and sing while you clean your bathroom.
posted by Crystal Paine at 2:34 PM
25 Comments:
... one of the clearest statements which Scripture provides regarding family life: (Ephesians 5)
21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ...
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord...as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
...I can't help but notice when I read this passage, however, just how much more extensive and demanding are the requirements for husbands...!
Crystal,
Please do not let such "women" get to you! Keep up the good work. You are doing a wonderful service to us all!!!!!
Many Blessings!
Leigh
mm: IMO, I think vs. 21 goes with verses 18-20. In other words I think verses 18-21 form the complete thought. The reason I think that is because of the punctuation.....vs. 20 ends in a semi colon and vs 21 is where the period is...and then verse 22 is a new thought. Here's how I think it reads......
'(vs18)And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess;..... (vs19)Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns......(vs20)Giving thanks always for all things unto God.....(vs21)Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.'
**new thought**
'(vs22)Wives submit......ect...'
However, that's just my opinion and I'm open to the fact that I could be wrong. (o:
Amen Crystal, way to go for standing up, I think you said it well!
It's true that those who posted ugly, hateful things are very wrong. However, I think for several of us, it is not "what" you are saying that we resist, it is "how" you are saying it. I hope you are not dismissing everyone who opposes you as folks who "kick against" God's ways, as that is not always the case. For some of us, we are against the arrogance that often comes out in your postings. Even this post came across as if you are delighting that you made enemies. It's like you are saying, "Look at me, holy and righteous Crystal. I'm so good and so better than you." I really wish you could see how your posts often come across with a "holier than thou" attitude. I hope some day, you can learn to temper your passion for speaking against the wrongs in our society with some humility.
Anonymous,
Thank you for your words of encouragement to my wife. Pride is something we all strive to avoid in our daily walk. I assure you Crystal was in no way meaning to come across in a prideful tone. Her reaction to the myriad of hateful responses (that I have had to deal with as well) may have appeared over the top as coming out against fellow Christians, however they were directed at the feminist responders and not believers, per se. If the words are convicting to fellow Christians in the process, so be it.
The modern church has, in general, moved from off of her Biblical moorings and instead followed what is culturally acceptable. It is my desire for this blog to serve as a clarion call for believers to come back to the Bible as the foundation for every aspect for one's life, both in faith and in practice.
Again, thank you for words of rebuke. May our speech be always seasoned with salt and full of grace.
Jesse
Reply to Anonymous and perhaps another helpful clarification.
What is arrogance, and what is humility? I would define humility as a right view of self and a right view of God. You see both as they truly are, or at least as much as this mortal coil can. Arrogance, then, would be an inflated view of self, and a low view of God. Most of the modern idea of self-esteem is completely antithetical to the biblical notion of humility.
Arrogance is not proclaiming the truths of the Bible and claiming that these truths are God's truths. What is arrogant is for, say, a pastor to go up to the pulpit, "preach" by relating personal anecdotes for fifteen minutes (!), and call that a sermon. He is, by virtue of being in that pulpit, claiming that he is speaking the Word of God, but he is only speaking the words of men. That is arrogance!
If Crystal argues logically straight from the Bible, with loads of verses to back it up, and then turns around and claims she is saying the Word of God, then I don't think anyone has the right to call her arrogant. You can, if you wish, debate about her interpretation of those verses. There is perhaps Christian freedom in some cases.
One thing I've noticed a lot in Crystal's posts is a call to obey God's law. I have also noticed a pretty decent balance with grace. That is as it should be. Many moderns these days would claim that we shouldn't follow the law, because we are under grace and not the law. That depends on what you mean by "under." If you mean we have to earn our salvation, may it never be! If you mean that once you are saved you have to follow the law, amen to that!
Here is a competely airtight proof that the Christian should obey the law. 1. God loves the Christian. 2. By 1 John, we love God because God first loved us. 3. Jesus Christ is fully God. 4. Jesus Christ said that "if you love Me, you will obey My commandments." 5. Therefore, the Christian whom God loves must obey God's law. QED.
And now the further clarification. I speak to any feminists whom Crystal hasn't offended away by her truth-telling (and there is a necessary offense to the gospel! Telling people they are sinners is not something they want to hear, and when you add that they can't save themselves, they get even more uptight). Submission is not women to men. Submission is one woman to one man. This is quite a different and freeing thing. In this case a woman need only attempt to please one man, not all men. That would be difficult indeed! You women out there who are "independent": are you so sure of that? Are you so sure you are free from the necessity of pleasing every man? I doubt it.
In Christ.
Jesse,
Thank you for taking the time to respond and to clarify. I greatly appreciate the grace with which you wrote. I'm sure it would have been quite easy for you to have wanted to respond differently after my comments, especially after being bombarded with such hurtful e-mails from others. In my original post, I felt what I posted needed to be said, but when I re-read it just now, I realize it came across a lot more strongly than I meant it to come across. For that, I apologize. I think part of the issue is that in my life, what drew me closer to the Lord was the unconditional love he had for me and the non-judgmental love that was displayed to me by other Christians. I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for that. I grew leaps and bounds because, instead of judging me, they "lived the life" and I wanted what they had. In contrast to this, I was almost destroyed by some very condescending, judgmental Christians and as a result, I've become quite sensitive to what I perceive as an attitude of "Christian superiority," for lack of a better term. I don't mean that we should water down the truth. In fact, I couldn't agree more fully with your second paragraph. Absolutely, we must return to the Bible as our full authority and never compromise the truth. What I was trying to say (but didn't do so in a very loving manner) was that I believe there is a way to stand for the truth and uphold God's laws, but at the same time, to do so with a spirit of humility, knowing all of us are sinners, saved by God's grace.
Again, thank you for taking the time to respond. I think it is wonderful how the two of you work so closely together and support each other.
Hey Mrs. B- interesting remark, but in my study of ancient Greek, there is no punctuation as we know it; nor are there any "verse" or paragraph designations.
I believe in wives submitting to their husbands! That part is very clear. But on the whole, so is the call for mutual "submission" in/under Christ.
All the best-
It's extremely difficult, if not impossible to say something that others disagree with, especially if it is a more conservative view and them think you stated it humbly. People immediately get on the defensive when you take a 'higher road' because it makes them feel guilty (rightly or not).
To a very small extent I can see what anon. is saying... however, I also know that if people KNEW Crystal they wouldn't think her posts were prideful and haughty.
You have to take everything you read in balance with everything else that she has written.
I guess I would just say before making a statment about her being prideful one should take the time to become more acquainted with her. :)
In reference to your post, Crystal. Thank you for it. It is right on. -- We do just have to let people think what they want and us continue doing what we know we should. If we stopped because people thought we were incredibly dense to follow such a path then we'd never get anywhere. We must look to God and our authority figure for our encouragement.
Just wanted to say to not let those posts get you down. I know it would be difficult to deal with if it were I... For as many as disagree there's one that agrees I'm sure. :) I certainly do.
I also want to say that you are one of the first people who made me stop and think... before pursuing the status quo. I'm so very glad I did stop at that point and decide to pursue a very different route. Serving your family and others as a ministry of your family was really foreign to me and it was you and others who opened my eyes to that... and I'm very grateful. :)
Just wanted to offer you a bit of encouragement on the way... :)
Your friend -- a daughter at home
Crystal, don't worry about those negative commentors, you are doing the right thing by trying to get people to see the truth. The truth can hurt sometimes, I know that for a fact as I have been on my Christian journey for 4.5 years now. Let's pray for those people who don't understand and who are hostile to what the word of God says. It's His Word against an unbeliever (I am assuming most of the negative comments came from unbelievers or folks who just can't grasp the reality of the Bible).
I liked Jesse and Adrian's posts too. :-)
Keep rockin' on for Jesus my fellow sisters!
I’m sure I don’t need to remind you Crystal that whenever one stands for the truth, making “a lot of enemies” is inevitable. Scripture is full examples:
1. When Paul was in Athens he was described as a “babbler” and when he preached that God has "appointed a day, in which he will judge the world in righteousness" many of those listening mocked him.
2. After John the Baptist reproved Herod for committing adultery with "Herodias his brother Phillip's wife, and for all the evils which Herod had done," he was put in prison and eventually beheaded.
3. When Christ told an audience "Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do" the people said "say we not well that thou art a Samaritan, and hast a devil" and would shortly after try to stone him to death.
Yeah...that was the post that I'm getting hate mail over on my websites. :P Aparently, by posting my own comments about what my husband means to ME I've made all women out to be "weak" and I've sickened some people.
And as a society we claim it's okay for "you to believe what ever you want to." Yeah, right.
I wasn't setting out to tell everyone one off with my comment...I was answering your question of what my man means to me.
Hmpt. You just can't win sometimes... :P
Crystal, you encourage this young wife and mother so much. I pray for you all the time, because I know how hard it must be to get such negative comments. Thank you for not being afraid to stand for the truth.
I'm sorry people are giving you a hard time. I think it might be own personal insecurities that make some women so forceful and passionate about not needing to be protected.
But good for you for speaking the truth in love.
I have just stumbled onto this blog. (And intend to explore further.) I am a SAHM with teenage dds, one in public school fulltime and one in school part-time. I am just now beginning to fully understand what my role as wife and mother should be and "what makes a marriage glorious", having just finished reading Debi Pearl's (wonderful!!) book on that subject. I just wanted to take a minute to encourage you in your ministry (if only I had had your perspective when I was your age!!!).
I also wanted to add one thought but I see that Adrian C. Keister has already done it for me. :)
"Submission is not women to men. Submission is one woman to one man."
Crystal, please allow me to respond to Mrs. B-
Mrs. B, the ancient Greek manuscripts are not delineated with our modern punctuation techniques, nor are they demarcated by "chapter" or "verse" divisions. Thus, while Paul is very clear that wives ought to obey their husbands as the Church obeys Christ, while the husband models Christ's sacrifice on behalf of his wife, I think it remains plausible to read these instructions in light of the thought which preceeds them- (Eph 5:21) "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ..." And on the whole, such a reading would respect the integrity of Paul's thought as to the unity of all Christians under Christ, AND preserves the provisonal Biblical mandates for a harmonious household...
MM: I don't doubt what you say about the 'ancient greek manuscripts' regarding punctuation and chapter/verse divisions...however, I believe the Bible I read in English is sufficient, meaning, that I don't need to know greek to discern what the Bible says about something.
I'll leave it at that because I don't think Crystal really wants us to get all into Greek vs. English or Bible versions and such. I guess you and I will have to 'agree to disagree'. (o:
Crystal, a lot of times passion is mistaken for arrogance. I have never felt you were arrogant, even when I have disagreed. Anonymous, I'm not trying to be rude or mean, especially since you apologized, but I just LOVE Crystal and it's hard for me to remain quiet when people say such mean things to her. Honestly, don't you think it would be more honest to sign your name if you're going to accuse Crystal of such serious things? I just think it can be too easy to say something sharp and remain 'anonymous'. Signing a name to your rebuke might make you a little more careful of HOW you say it.
Crystal, in light of the 'not so nice' comments from the feminists that you received I think you showed great restraint and humility....You wrote truth and quietly took the vitriolic words hurled your way. It took courage to write what you did (and courage for the ladies to post their comments)and I thank you all for it because it greatly encouraged my heart!
Mrs. B,
Im not disagreeing with you or insisting on reading the NT in Greek- only trying to point out that your reading of Eph 5 based on the placement of punctuation doesnt quite do full justice to Paul's urging for mutual submission among believers under Christ, with the wife's "submission" taking the form of obedience to her husband, and the husband's "submission" taking the form of self-expending sacrifice for his wife. BOTH spouses are "in submission," to one another, and we ought not forget that!
Anon,
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have been through the ringer, so to speak, with self righteous Christians. They do the mosts harm to Christianity than anyone I can think of. My family was even shunned in front of the whold church for a minor doctrinal difference. (No, we are not Amish : ) )Didn't realize shunning was biblical but this pastor figured it was. Anyway, I understand your hesitance with Crystal's blog post.
However, I've been reading this blog for awhile and though, I do disagree with a little of what she says, not much, just a little, I have come to see her as a very humble person.
Don't lose faith with all Christians, I started to in my early teens because of what I had been through. True Christians will only want to encourage and help you in your walk.
Anyway, Crystal. It is so cool that we have husbands who come to our defence. Feminists probably would consider us a bunch of wimps but that is the greatest thing about being married to a strong man. It can be hard to defend yourself sometimes.
I was also reading the last article on absnews.com about "The Mommy Wars," and the lady they were interviewing had the gall to suggest that women should only have one child so they don't have to take so many sick days off from work and can commit to their career. That was amazing to me that a mother would actually say that. How sad.
She also said that since the divorce rate is 41% women should not leave the workforce so they can support themselves. Of course she didn't bring up the suggestion that maybe if more women stayed home and focused on family first the divorce rate would be significantly lower.
The lady has a seroius case of mixed up priorities.
just to let you know that I appreciate everything you share and wanted to encourage you and let you know that I will continue to read your blog. =^) keep up the great work!
Congratulations on standing your ground and exposing the truth about feminism. Following the tenets of feminism has caused me more heartache than I can bear to think about.
I've been enjoying getting to read more about Crystal too and have come to enjoy this blog.
I believe in submitting to my husband- and it and he are wonderful! I'm fortunate to be married to a trustworthy, kind, man who wants to do God's will and put his family above himself.
Sometimes I think it can be too easy to not realize the situation others may be in and how some posts can be taken.
When Crystal talks on subjects like this, I can give a hearty AMEN because I am married to a man I trust and who is a servant-leader. So it's ultimately not that hard for me to see him as the head of the household and listen to him.
However, if I were married to some chauvenist or tyrant or irresponsible man... I'm sure that would be a whole different struggle.
I think misunderstanding also comes across in *HOW* this could look in marriages. In ours, I'm the more type-A, outspoken and opinionated one. For a while I was so frustrated because I thought submission meant being quiet and saying "whatever you think." Now we've come to learn that is not the case and my husband wants to be challenged, talk about things, etc.... but in a *constructive* and respectful and honest way.
I think many read about submission and think it means the wife is some quiet little mouse who meekly says "yes, sir" to her husband all the time. And that he's the one who plans out every little detail in their lives. And that is just not the case!
Amen, amen, and AMEN.
-gena
Well, Crystal, at first when you said, "sing while you clean your bathroom", I was like, "What? How is that supposed to help you as a woman?!"
But, you know what? While I don't agree with your beliefs about this certain issue, enjoy your life if this is how you feel you are closest to God.
God Bless you! :)
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