"Let the Children Come"
A very thought-provoking post by Scott Brown on Sunday School and children in the worship service. Here's a snippet:
In the American church, we have become a people who worship a worshipful atmosphere. We care more about our concentration, than we care about passing the precious promises of God to the next generation. We narcissistically care more for our comforts than we do about the difficult task of training a mighty army of saints who would be willing to go to their death for their Savior.
I believe that Jesus would be offended by the modern church and its treatment of children. Ours is one of the most blatantly anti-child societies on earth. Most internationals from undeveloped countries, are shocked when they come here and see adult only apartment complexes, scattered families and other expressions of individualism run amok.
The church has been deeply affected by our anti-child culture. We do not want to be stuck with snotty nosed children. We want to remove the hassle of children. We want to remove them from our presence. We want to live a life apart from our children. We want to have few enough so that our lives are not adversely affected. If we become pregnant, we may terminate the pregnancy because of its potential to divert us from our objectives. Ours is truly a child rejecting culture. The ultimate goal of many of our senior citizens is to retire to Florida in child free communities.
Expressions of our anti-child culture are everywhere to the point that we are numb to their recognition. Tragically, America is suffocating from the effects of day care raised children, latchkey children and fathers leaving their families in greater numbers than any time in history. We are experiencing the death of fatherhood as 40% of the children in America will go to sleep tonight without a father in the home. Parents will admit unashamedly that they would not have any more children because of the time required. Teenage pregnancy, divorce and abortion are some of the results of this social experiment with the family.
And so the church has taken on the spirit of the disciples and surrounding culture regarding children. Children do destroy worship, because they have not been led by their fathers and mothers in the meaning of worship. Parents in our churches simply care more about their own concentration than they do their childrens consecration.
posted by Crystal Paine at 11:10 AM
12 Comments:
It probably won't make me very popular on this blog, but I disagree with some of his conclusions and the tone of them. Just because a church offers Sunday School doesn't mean they do so because they're anti-child. Also, just because parents utilize Christian Schools, Sunday Schools or nurseries doesn't mean they are narciccistic or are just trying to 'get the kids out of their hair'. I think he's painting with too broad of a brush and comes across, to me, as being a little bit judgemental. I'm sure that there ARE churches who believe that way but don't lump all of the churches, who offer Sunday School ect... into one selfish, anti-child lump .
Amen! I often consider the fact that every U.S. citizen born since 1973 should really consider himself a refugee of the Roe v. Wade law--a holocaust survivor. I have tried to research the effects of this on gen X & following generations but havne't found much out there that directly correlates this attitude to that of contemporary adults...
Those are alot of good points, but I also do not believ every church that offers sunday school is trying to get the children away while they worship. I learned at home from my mom and dad, then at church when we all sang together, then in sunday school, where I learned to love the bible and see it as exciting and new, and then from the sermons.
The church we went to had sunday school, but for everyone and we all sang and listened to the sermon together.
I think children should all learn to sit still in church, but I also think that they should learn the reason for why we go to church, not remember sitting for hours trying to comprehend what was being said and wishing like I did that the minister could have just used simpler terms...and I was a well read, high vocabulary child and it was not that I didn't want to understand. Anyhow, so maybe in main stream churches this is true, but not in all churches that have Sunday school.
I think Jesus would be disapointed in many of the churches now, including many of the ones that promote family worship.
My husband and I are preparing to be prepared for adoption and I've been thinking on this subject. I'm so glad you posted it. I would love to hear more about your views on this. Anyway, I was thinking, "ok, so I'm supposed to keep my child with me and teaching him/her to behave in church." It occured to me though, that it would be very hard to do that when people grab all the infants and children up out of our service and wisk them off to play (not learn) in the nursery and children's church. Last sunday I realized that not one mother chose to keep her child with her. Then I thought back realizing that this had been going on for some time. Then I noticed that we only had about 5 teenagers in the service, where there should've been 20 or more. And I made the connection in that. When I was a kid, we sat in the service. We behaved or else we were going to get it. Once a month they had children's church, and in that class they taught us about the bible not how to play video games. Well, I guess when we get our child I'll have to hold on to him/her tight so they can't take him/her from me.
While I do agree with Mr. Brown that selfishness is the root of many problems in our society, it seems like quite a stretch to correlate abortion and the divorce rate to children attending Sunday School away from their parents!
Let's remember that the purpose of worship is to glorify God. That would be hard to do if one can't understand what is being said.
Take worship at home, for instance. My husband and I don't read from the KJV to our children (they are young) and discuss it. What 2 year old could understand it? We save that for our devotions, which we do after the kids are in bed. Our family devotions are from a Bible story book that they can understand. We sing songs that they understand. Not theologically heavy hymns.
Likewise, worship at churches where kids are in their own Sunday school or children's church, exists to teach children (on their level) to glorify God, to learn about the Bible, and how to apply that knowledge.
Anonymous -- there's a lot more I want to post on this topic, but I wanted to mention a few things and maybe I'll talk about this more if I have a chance to write more later.
I know this is a hot topic and toes always seem to be stepped on if I ever, God-forbid, mention anything about families worshipping together or concerns I have with age-segregated Sunday school. You have to do what is best for your family, but I do think it is something you should prayerfully consider.
Here are just a few thoughts:
I don't think you need to "childrenize" stories for children to understand them. Maybe it won't completely make sense, but they will pick it up. They are much smarter than we often believe them to be! My parents always read Scripture from birth to us -- and children pick up a LOT. They really do. I encourage you to read an excellent book called "A Token for Children" for proof of this. Remember the passage in the Bible when families (including young babies) stood all day long and listened to God's Word? We don't need to dumb-down Scripture or God's Truth for children -- they are often much more astute and can understand difficult concepts in their own child-like way much more than we adults can.
There is so much segregation of families nowadays -- in every realm. The age-segregated, peer-oriented learning model is not something you will find in Scripture. I think that we have followed this segregated model for so long that the thought of families worshipping together and fathers leading their families in family worship is an anomaly!
That said, I have no problem with Sunday Schools as they were originally designed -- to teach the children of unsaved, non-church-going parents about the things of Christ. Sunday School was designed as an evangelistic outreach to children of non-saved, unchurched parents. If you want to go back to that model, I'm all for it! However, I think it is very sad when many churches nowadays do not allow or strongly discourage Godly, Christian parents -- who are seeking to train their children in righteousness -- from keeping their children in the services with them.
But that's what it's become, Crystal. It's not the church forcing the parents, it's the other way round. The parents in our church want Sunday School and I've never, in my 9 years in the ministry, had a family tell us they want their children with them.
I wish they would! Then my husband wouldn't have to get after the teachers for not showing up on time or at all.
I'm not saying that it might be God's best, but it does and has, brought children to the Lord when the home life reflects a laizzes-faire (sp?) attitude toward the things of the Lord. Sometimes Sunday School fills the gap. IMHO, of course.
Liz -- That's very sad. Pastors and church leaders should strongly encourage parents to be leading their families at home and encouraging fathers to lead their families in family worship but obviously they can't make them, of course. I think that parents rely too heavily upon Sunday School teachers and this allows them to justify not being as faithful in teaching their own children. That's just my own observation, though.
I agree with everything you said, Crystal, and if you had written a post like your comment I wouldn't have had any problem with it. I've actually been thinking about this subject quite a bit and if I had children I think I would want to keep them with me. So I don't disagree so much with the view point as I do the assumptions and mean spiritness of his words.
IMHO, the way to change people's thinking on this subject is to train your children to be well behaved and show people that children CAN sit in the service and not be disruptive....because unfortunately, I RARELY have seen this. The people I've seen, in real life, who practice this make it miserable for everyone sitting around them.
BTW, I'm not anti-child. I've been watching the specials on TLC about the Duggar family and have been quite impressed with them....what a WONDERFUL family!
This is such a fascinating topic.
I agree that some of what the gentleman writing the article is saying is kind of to blanketing. However, I do feel that churches should be encouraging parents to include the children in the service as much as possible.
Our church has Sunday school, but it is held between Worship services. There is one or two for the adults and then ones for the different ages. During the Worship service, though they only provide nursery for children 3 and under. My 6 year old has been sitting through the service since she was about 3yrs. My youngest makes it until just before the sermon and so I sometimes bring her in the nursery. If she is calm enough though, we have her stay. My daughters are learning to glorify God with their singing and looking up the scriptures. Each parent has to take responsibility I think for how they handle this, but I do think children are able to be trained in this fashion.
I agree with you Crystal, that children can understand(or at least to some degree)the bible just fine without it being "dumbed" down. I find that my 6 yr old will just ask questions if she doesn't understand, but it is amazing the answers she gives us when we ask things.
Children need to be given more credit for what they are capable of.
Okay, that seemed long winded...sorry! ;-)
Crystal,
I totally agree with you. My husband can preach till he's blue that parents should be discipling their children but as the saying goes "you can lead a horse to water, etc.".
The fact is we have a church full of women. Most of the men are unsaved/santified and alcoholic. It is a deeply rooted generational problem in our area. The mothers have so much going on in their lives, that it's hard for them to keep the ship afloat, much less disciple the children. There's one lady with 4 teenagers who has them homeschooled by their grandparents. The father went through Teen Challenge, but still drinks. I have tons of respect for her. Her 14 year old daughter plays piano for worship and is the sweetest and most modest girl you'd want to meet.
Building relationships with these folks is the place to start. So if their kids need Sunday School in order to get the Word, then we'll provide it for them.
But on the other hand, I have been to churchs where, unless your child was nursing, you couldn't keep them with you because it would "create a disturbance". So I do get your point.
Noel Piper has some practical suggestions for when children are in the service with you.
http://www.desiringgod.org/library/topics/family/family_worship.html
I am glad that when I had my first child, I was in a church with not that many babies at the time and there was no nursery (no space for it either). I really wondered what I would do when my baby came, but as I observed the children in the service, I realized that it was possible to keep them in there. I came to appreciate having my children there with us.
To turn the table around, one can be selfish if they insist to keep their kids in the service when they ARE being loud and disrupting. The parent also needs to consider the needs of others above their own and step out of the service for a while, if not go home and discipline the child if he is really rebellious that morning.
Most of all, I think it requires patience. We can't be blaming others for our own distractiveness. Not to downgrade the importance of the preaching of the Word, but I have learned not to be so parched spiritually on Sunday morning that I am so desperate to hear a word from God that I get so frustrated with "interruptions" (caused by other kids or my own). Why not get frustrated in the "interruptions" we allow during the week. Besides, Sunday morning isn't about what I get out of it, it's about what I put into it. It is worship - in spirit and in truth.
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