Living on One Income
Lady Lydia has a very insightful post on Living on One Income on Homeliving Helper today.
She says:
That is our goal -- not to live a "high life" necessarily, but to live frugally now, to reap the results later. We have told ourselves this all through law school when things have been really tight at times and we had to forgo many luxuries and some things that most people consider to be "necessities" in order to stay afloat. It has been an interesting journey and there were times when we wondered if we were crazy to try and live on a part-time income and stay out of debt. But, God has been so faithful! Even in the littlest things like toilet paper. Yep, I said toilet paper.
You see, before we moved to the town we are living in for Jesse to begin law school (2 1/2 years ago), my mom and I went "Coupon-Shopping." (If you've never been coupon-shopping with my mom, you don't know how to shop. She can find the best deals and can get a cartload of groceries for pennies on the dollar or better. I'm not kidding!) The store was having Double-Dollar coupons and I have a coupon for $1 off this particular brand of toilet paper. The toilet paper was on sale for $1.99. It just so happens that my mom and I had both collected a whole lot of these coupons (around 25). So, yes, you guessed it, I got 25 packages of double-roll toilet paper for free. We still haven't used them all up. Just yesterday I was replacing the roll of toilet paper and mentioning to Jesse that we hadn't purchased toilet paper the entire time he's been in law school. Okay, so maybe this seems very insignificant, but it is just one small story of hundreds I could share of how God has provided for us so abundantly!
In another part of the article she says:
She says:
My answer [Regarding whether or not you can live on one income] is that if you try to do it, you can. I've never seen anyone who tried to do it and was determined enough, ending up living on the street, or sleeping under a bridge. They say "If I do this, it won't work," but most have never really tried it. I believe you have to work a plan before the plan will work, but most people want to live as they please and then add more income to their family so that they can just keep on living that way. If they start at the top, living the high life, it is a long way to fall if they get sick and can't work, and if you work your way up without debt, living frugally at first, you can stay at the top for a long time, with the security of savings, investments, and income.
That is our goal -- not to live a "high life" necessarily, but to live frugally now, to reap the results later. We have told ourselves this all through law school when things have been really tight at times and we had to forgo many luxuries and some things that most people consider to be "necessities" in order to stay afloat. It has been an interesting journey and there were times when we wondered if we were crazy to try and live on a part-time income and stay out of debt. But, God has been so faithful! Even in the littlest things like toilet paper. Yep, I said toilet paper.
You see, before we moved to the town we are living in for Jesse to begin law school (2 1/2 years ago), my mom and I went "Coupon-Shopping." (If you've never been coupon-shopping with my mom, you don't know how to shop. She can find the best deals and can get a cartload of groceries for pennies on the dollar or better. I'm not kidding!) The store was having Double-Dollar coupons and I have a coupon for $1 off this particular brand of toilet paper. The toilet paper was on sale for $1.99. It just so happens that my mom and I had both collected a whole lot of these coupons (around 25). So, yes, you guessed it, I got 25 packages of double-roll toilet paper for free. We still haven't used them all up. Just yesterday I was replacing the roll of toilet paper and mentioning to Jesse that we hadn't purchased toilet paper the entire time he's been in law school. Okay, so maybe this seems very insignificant, but it is just one small story of hundreds I could share of how God has provided for us so abundantly!
In another part of the article she says:
Anything you spend, or charge, beyond your husband's income, will threaten your position as a homemaker. The more you spend, and the more you charge, the closer you are to having to go to work. If you really want to stay home, you can. There are many women who are doing it. Being a stay at home woman is not so much a matter of economy as it is of philosophy. To a large extent, your beliefs will rule your actions.So much of the time, people say "That will never work." I always like to say, "Have you tried?" If it is God's will, He will make a way!
posted by Crystal Paine at 12:16 PM
26 Comments:
Loved your toilet paper story!!! These kind of stories continue to inspire me AND make me laugh. We've lived this way, too, and I think it can be great fun!
I'd like to comment on spending and/or charging beyond your husband's income. I've been married for 21 years, and I have worked outside the home for approximately 3 of those years. We have 3 teenaged children, and I'm just now beginning to make a little money by working from home (I sent in an application to ClubMom from your post about Mom blogging!). I babysat in the couple of years before our first child was born. All that to give background to what I'm going to say.
It hasn't been easy to live on one income, but we were determined that I would be home with our children. I've found ways to be thrifty with grocery shopping and buying clothes. I've almost always asked my husband before buying anything that wasn't planned. I never use a credit card without his knowledge and consent. We've done without a lot of material things, but I have one thing that is priceless - my husband's trust.
I have friends who spend and spend, and they have lots of nice things that I'd love to have. I guess they somehow think they're entitled to all these things (like $1200 stoves!). But their husbands are having to work 2 and 3 jobs to keep up with what these ladies just have to have, and then my friends complain because their husbands work all the time, or the husband gets sick because he's working so hard, or he gets injured or sick and can't work any jobs, and they are in debt so deep that they can't see any hope of getting out of debt. These ladies have effectively destroyed their husbands' trust in them. I decided I'd much rather have my husband be able to trust me with credit cards and the check book or debit card in my wallet. There are some things that money can't buy.
I too loved your toilet paper story! What a great way to show that God cares about even the littlest things.
We've been married for almost 25 years and I only worked fulltime outside the home for a few months. I have done the home party thing, and even babysitting, but we never found that we made enough money to make it worth the extra trouble. Right now I am making wholewheat bread and selling it two days a week. I will never get rich, but it's a little bit extra to help with unexpected things.
What I really wanted to say was that I count myself blessed to have a husband who has always encouraged me to make homemaking a full time career. We have struggled at times, yes, but we can look back and thank God for letting us have the vision to make family our first priority. I don't have a fancy car or house, but I have a very nice house and a minivan that is paid for. And best of all I have a husband who encourages me in all things domestic. :>)
Again...this is such an encouraging post! Thank you!
I just gave my months notice to my boss(1 hour ago)and we are stepping out in faith. I know it may be hard but I have faith God will provide. With stories and encouraging posts like this, I should be full of courage!
Crystal, if you think about it please keep us in prayer as we adjust to a one income household.
Thank you.
I agree with Lady Lydia. We have been living on one income for a long time including homeschooling. Now I work at nights while dh is home with the kids. We have been convicted that we are not to have debt. Boy we have debts and need to get rid of it quickly. We decided that I would go to work at nights so I can continue to homeschool the kids and be home with them during the day. We are seeing the fruits of my labor (seeing our loan getting smaller and smaller). In order to pay it off I have to work for the next two years. This is not including our house. However we would love to see our house paid off but we will re-visit my working issue after this loan is paid off.
I think it is very important that we teach our kids about money, debt and train them up teaching them debt is not a good way to buy things or even with the house. The kids understand why I have to work now. They are not happy about it but I see this as a lesson learned for them because they said "boy a loan is really bad". So they saw how a loan or a debt affects the family. I see it as a positive thing.
Anyway I agree with the article even though I am working. I would love to quit but the Lord have impressed on us that we need to take care of our debts to man.
Holly
What do you determined ladies do for health insurance? My husband is in seminary, working part-time as a youth pastor and part-time as a "meter reader." I am working 32 hours at a law firm. We're fine with income, but if I thought we could make it on his income and have health insurance to cover costs of pregnancy and delivery, I would quit my job and pinch pennies to stay at home! We've invested every insurance option we can think of, but all the plans require a 12-18 month waiting period before they will cover delivery costs. We are in Minnesota and the cost of living is quite high.
Any ideas?
God Bless!
Anonymous,
There are insurance programs for low-income people through the state. In North Carolina it is called Health Check. You pay low amount monthly and they WILL cover a birth. It is not medicaid so you will pay something. And they WILL cover the baby once it is here. Go to the department of social services and talk to them.
You can live on one income, lot's of single mothers do it quite successfully all the time. I'm one of them. While for now I am working outside of the home. I am also working on a plan so that hopefully 2 years from now I'm at home full time, raising my children as a mother should and still supporting my family, on one income.
Anonymous: We have student insurance and had our daughter at a birthing center. It was much cheaper to use a free-standing birthing center and our student insurance ended up covering most of it. If God wants you to be home, He can make a way. Maybe your church would cover part of the costs of labor and delivery? Maybe you could try using a midwife? Or maybe you just go on insurance with a waiting period and God will work out the timing of your pregnancy/birth. God is big enough to work out little details like that! I've seen Him do great and mighty things in our life and I know He cna do the same in yours!
Crystal-
You had great insurance! My student health insurance did not cover pregnancy or birth control. It was awful.
This was a wonderfully encouraging article, Crystal.
I too am a SAHM living on one income. It is amazing to watch the Lord provide month after month. He has just blessed us with a new house and we needed boxes to move. When my husband was servicing one of his accounts, he ran across a ton of really good boxes and lots of old newspaper and picked it up for nothing. It would have cost us $75 to buy "used" boxes from a moving company.
Our home inspector also ran across a problem with the leach field of our septic system. We were prepared to pay half, then he found out there was a problem with the tank as well. God put it on the seller's heart to take care of the additional balance. She also replaced all the torn screens (not required by the sales agreement) and had the kitchen countertop replaced with my new selection because it was under warranty and had faded badly. God is so good!
I've found that Laine's Letters has a lot of great information for suggestions on living on one income. She has such a wonderful spirit.
Keep up the good work, Crystal. I always look forward to reading this blog.
Crystal, it seems strange to suggest that someone take money from their church community. would you be comfortable having your church pay for things for your family? shouldn't the community effort and funds people tithe go to folks who need it (and not to a young, smart, healthy couple, both of whom are perfectly capable of working (or, in the case of your husband, assured of a professional-class income down the line, and therefore able to responsibly take on debt?) charity from church isn't "God providing"... it's "old ladies scrimping money for the collection plate" providing. I couldn't live with myself.
I wish this always worked. I earn about 50% of our income although I work part-time and dh works full-time. I would dearly love not to work but the books just won't balance. I try to use the days I don't work to shop for food economically, cook and do anything else I can thing of to save money.
It really isn't that I'm spending dh's money and therefore having to work. Life is just really expensive where we live and dh, for Christian reasons doesn't have a job as well paid as most people in his position. He actually feels really guilty that I have to work.
Now, I feel that I need to be thankful that I don't have to work full-time and to make the most of the time I have.
Annaelisabeth
This may sound like a crazy question, but, how did you collect 25 coupons for the same item?
This is such an encouraging post! I am inspired even as a single woman, to continue to be frugal now so I don't get into bad habits that could harm the rest of my life whether that be married or single.
Anonymous who suggested my response seemed strange:
The reason I suggested that perhaps the church would pay for part of it is because this woman's husband is working as a youth pastor. I believe strongly that churches should do their very best to provide for those who are in full-time or part-time ministry in their church. "A laborer is worthy of his hire." One of the purposes of the church is to build up and support other believers -- this sometimes means the church should step in and help if there is a financial need. As long as a family is seeking to honor the Lord and wisely using their finances, I believe it is very Biblical that a church would help out this family if they have a time of need. That is often how God provides -- through the church, or through individual members of the church. God has provided for us in this way before -- though we have never made our needs known to man. We are now in a position where we are able to help others in small ways and what an exciting thing that is! We look forward to being able to help in much bigger ways in the future, Lord-willing!
Claire - As far as collecting 25 coupons, our stores often have coupon dispensers for one particular item next to that item -- so you can take as many as you want. :) My mom and I had just collected a number of these coupons on the last few weeks before the Double-Dollar coupon sale and we put them to good use!
I really enjoy reading your blog because I agree with you on almost every subject. I enjoy being able to read something clean and honoring to God. The one question I have is about you and your husband. It seems that you have a perfect relationship.. I just want to know what you two do when/if conflict or irritation arises between you two. I come from a family where I wasn't taught how to handle my irritation, anger, etc in a very healthy way. I can see some of my family's habits of dealing with negative emotion already setting in, in my relationship. So maybe you would like to post a blog about conflict resolution tips from your own relationship? Thank you so much! God Bless and keep blogging for Jesus! :D
Claire- I dumpster dive in the recycling bins and also ask friends who don't coupon for their inserts- I also have tons of coupons for things like that.
Oh yes, if you are in need of more coupons, definitely consider asking those who get the paper and don't use the weekly coupon insert if they could save theirs and give it to you. I've been so blessed to have many people do this for me over the past few years!
To the Other Anonymous: We definitely don't have a perfect marriage -- but we do have a wonderful marriage! There are always plenty of areas for improvement! I don't feel qualified in the least bit to give marriage counselling, but maybe I can share in the near future things that I learned from my parents wonderful marriage and other beautiful marriages I've observed which have helped in our own marriage. Thanks for your comment!
Good post. I really enjoyed it. I stopped working in January 2003 to answer the calling to be a keeper at home. Yes, for the first year and a half - 2 years we struggled mostly due to my wanting everything (gosh I was selfish back then..LOL). Together though, me and my hubby put alot of debt on our credit cards. But that was then, and now I am more responisble, more frugal, we only have one bill left and that's our car payment, and we are able to add more money to our savings every 2 weeks because we no longer have 4 or 5 bills to pay on. We give God all the glory.
Speaking of coupons...being here in Germany, if any of you have expired coupons (dating back to 6 months ago), I will gladly take them. The military knows how long it takes for coupons to get here, so they allow us to use coupons that have been expired for 6 months or less, which is a real blessing to me. I take just about anything, no baby coupons though cuz I don't have any babies yet. You can e-mail me at: biblegirl1999@yahoo.com
I cannot count how many times God has provided for us when we were going through times of financial struggle as a one income family. Choosing to put God first by honouring Him in your roles as father and mother reap many rewards.
Over our 17 years of marriage we have made decisions to go without many material things that most others around us had....because one income (and a pastor's income at that! lol) didn't provide enough for those extras. The glorious thing is, God always provided our needs and more often than not has provided most of our wants as well. He has blessed us beyond our imagination so many times and we are driven to our knees in gratitude.
I think that when we chose to be a one income family so we are home to raise our children ourselves we are blessed in ways a double income family will never understand. After all, the best blessings are not things that you can buy. They are found in the time, the cuddles, the silly family fun, the game nights at home, the simple things that we have time for because we are here as a family.
Thank you for the encouragement for those who are struggling. Women need to see there is so much more fulfillment being a sahm than the world tries to tell us.
What an encouraging post! I am a SAHM with 2 little ones (2 1/2 and 3 mo.) and a hubby working full time while pursuing an MBA. Things are tight, but God has provided SO greatly for us. It does my heart good to remember John 10:29-"My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand."
Great post! I actually wrote an article a while back about this exact thing on my parenting site (http://www.youngparentsmagazine.com) I initially planned to go back to work but once my son was born, I knew I was destined to be a stay-at-home mom. I sat down and went through our income and expenses and worked out a feasible budget. It did mean cutting out a few expenses which wasn't easy - but it was a sacrifice my husband and I were willing to make in order to keep me home. My son just turned 2 and we're expecting our second later this year. I am proud to be a stay-at-home mom and I too agree that anyone who wants to stay home, CAN!!
http://homeschooling.youngparentsmagazine.com
It's so true that God will provide! My husband and I have lived on one income even before the children came. Having me at home gave us more time to be involved in youth ministry at our church. We have an ongoing family "joke" that if we wait for something long enough God will give it to us for free. So far our list includes a piano, antique violin (a gift from a church member so my hubby could play in the service) an air conditioner, office chair, complete set of dishes, furniture, and most recently a second hand digital camera arrived in the mail so we can easily send pictures of the kids to family. Jehovah Jireh!
Amy, the same thing has happened here. We were needing more income (for debt) so I started looking. To make a very long story short, God enabled me to work from home, choosing my own hours, and blessed us with a PC to do the work (CPU, monitor and printer), and even a computer desk. All of it free! I do believe in waiting for His timing.
Renai
I agree, laides, this is so hard. We are growing in the area of budgeting and limiting our expenses. It is difficult when your husband has been in a position 6 years without a raise. Add to that the fact that his monthly prescription costs are $300+ (and that's co-pays!). I am exploring various options for working from home, but finding the time seems so difficult. I can't seem to get done what I already have to do -- keeping house, homeschooling a 12 year old, and caring for 3 more 4 and under. Whew! Just the laundry . . .!
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