Problems with Parenting Methods
Read this excellent post by Carrie on the problem of parenting methods.
I completely agree.
Maybe we're naive or something, but when Kathrynne was first born, Jesse and I decided against spending a lot of time reading parenting books. I had started to read a few and learned some good things from them, but I realized how easy it was to get caught up in methods versus Scripture. I'm not discounting all parenting books or methods (For instance, I recently posted on Tomato-Staking -- a concept that has tremendously helped our home and parenting) -- I think we can learn something from many of them, but we shouldn't follow a book instead of the Bible. As with everything in life...
I completely agree.
Maybe we're naive or something, but when Kathrynne was first born, Jesse and I decided against spending a lot of time reading parenting books. I had started to read a few and learned some good things from them, but I realized how easy it was to get caught up in methods versus Scripture. I'm not discounting all parenting books or methods (For instance, I recently posted on Tomato-Staking -- a concept that has tremendously helped our home and parenting) -- I think we can learn something from many of them, but we shouldn't follow a book instead of the Bible. As with everything in life...
posted by Crystal Paine at 6:42 PM
6 Comments:
I love this post! I wish more parents would put down the books and trust the Lord that as they seek Him and look to Him for wisdom and strength, He will direct their steps in their parenting. Sometimes, it may include reading a particular book or attending a class, but this should only confirm or point them in a certain direction. I have read many books, attended some well-known parenting classes and seminars over the years and the one thing that I have discovered is that there is no "right" method. But the one thing I do know is that each of my five children are God's wonderful creation and that I have been entrusted to love them, teach them, and show them the way to go. Through years of ministry I have seen moms in tears becasue the "method" wasn't working for them, while others were proclaiming that the "method" was the only way. I have hugged and encouraged moms to first trust only in God and His word and next to trust in their God-given ability to parent their child correctly according to God's Word and His leading in their life. I have used bits and pieces of different methods that seem to fit or help our family. As Christians we have been bombarded with new "methods" and yet I always go back to Samuel, or Moses, and even Jesus. What would these wonderful Godly moms tell us today?
Crystal,
I just recently came across your blog. I have enjoyed reading what the Lord is doing in your life as a new mom. Blessings to you!
Thanks for the traffic, Crystal! I respect you so much and having you link to me is an honor! :)
Yes! Totally agree. I have attended so many churches where the women have turned the method into Scripture as well. Actually, I think there is always going to be at least one woman in every church who feels she has "arrived" - basically has achieved complete righteousness and has all the answers. She is more than willing to tell a younger woman how badly her children are behaving, how she should discipline them since what she did worked for her kids, and basically anything else that she deems worthy of falling under Titus 2. Two favorite Scripture verses she will quote is the one on gently guiding each other and Titus 2. I have no problems with these verses, but to think one way of raising a child will work for all is absurd. I have no problem with talking to a woman about anything under Titus 2, but you can't tell them exactly what to do as if only 1 way will work. In some cases, sure this is true. In others, it isn't.
I just recently had a lady talk to me and while I agreed with her that my middle child was struggling with obedience she said I didn't have a "teachable spirit" since I didn't agree with everything she had to say. I tried telling her how we had gotten to where we are and how she is improving. I tried telling her some of the books I had been reading by reputable Christian authors - still it meant nothing. She couldn't understand why I don't just spank her 10 or more times a day. She said she was still spanking her sons when they were 17. I had to fight to not say, "And when did you figure out it wasn't working?"
I should have had a xeroxed copy of Chapter 4 in Nancy Wilson's book The Fruit of Her Hands: Respect and the Christian Woman titled Principles and Methods in my purse to hand to her. No, extra copies so that I can help younger women who I see getting attacked since as Nancy says - they are much more "vulnerable" to the "pressure" of methods.
That was a neat post. I have read some books..but mostly for ideas or for health things I'm uncertain of. I hold to no "method" but to love my children and raise them up to know the Lord.
The Bible is clear enough to know what is important in raising your children...discipline them, love them, don't provoke them to anger, expect respect and obedience from them, and especially to love the Lord your God and teach this to your children at all times, in all ways. This is the important stuff...how you put your kid to bed or the type of discipline you choose is left to how each child responds. Obviously God knows each one of us are different and we respond and learn in different ways, but if you follow the rules He sets forth in the Bible, you're on the right road.
I am so thankful that God has provided the perfect guideline for us.
This area is another good example of elevating "method" over the "principle." The Biblical principle is to rear your children in the "nurture and admonition of the Lord." But so many have become rich by so many others buying their "Method" books!!!
I love reading that excerpt from Dr. MacArthur's sermon; he is a wise and godly man whose own "fruit" of childrearing is a testimony to God's faithfulness.
Wow. Spanking at 17. I thought my parents spanked me a lot. My last spanking was probably eight years old.
I haven't read one single parenting book and neither did my parents. I remember, "To Train Up a Child" was pretty big when I was growing up and so many women were so impressed and would say how that book changed their life. I remember my mom thumbing through it and saying that it just seemed like a lot of common sense and Biblical principals. Why would a Christian say that a book written by man changed their life instead of the Word of God?
I think that with all the hype on secular parenting books that Christians feel they need to have their own or with the growing ignorance of scripture, maybe these Christians need to read these books because they really don't know what to do.
I STILL can't get over spanking at 17! My grandparents were married at 16 and 17.
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home