How Do You Keep the Balance?
Martha asked an excellent question, in response to this post:
It is hard to find a balance, isn't it? I think sometimes I have seen one or the other. I think you for sure have to have a balance as otherwise we become like the Levite and the priest in the Good samaritan story. We have our schedule, our plans and forget about relationships with others outside of our family, because our family is most important. I think if our relationship with God is the right way and we are seeking Him on what we are to be doing then we will choose the right things. So, how do you balance it the right way? I mean practically? Do you have one day a week you schedule you visit with people or do a family service project? How do you keep your family in the right perspective and minister to others in a practical way?I'd love to hear some ideas, suggestions, and personal examples!
posted by Crystal Paine at 1:49 PM
5 Comments:
... my parents covenant together each month with regard to their ministry time, and work on their projects (prison ministry, hosting Christian education seminars and fundraising for ministries) out of their home. They have grown children now, so there is more time for outreach... but I know it still is always a struggle for them to maintain balance! I love watching them sit down at our kitchen table each month with their planners to organize their mutual interests. It's such a blessing to my mom, who is very outreach-oriented, to have a husband like my father, who cherishes and facilitates her desire to serve their community.
Although I have been living the single life away from my parents' home for a few years, I have tried to dedicate my little apartment to God's own hospitality- it is NEVER "my own space," and my fiance and I share a vision of our future home as an open shelter for any who need it. In this way the home can be a center for ministry in itself, without going beyond or outside the home. I once shared my apartment with a homeless young woman for several months; on a smaller level, my apartment is the place for young women who are being courted to stay when they come to visit their boyfriends, a place for visiting speakers, and the location for womens' Bible studies and church social events...
We try to serve others as the opportunities come about, but we don't actively seek opportunities because life is so busy for us. I'm a single homeschooling mom of 3 with a home business, so I can't do much outside the home. Other ladies may be able to do more, but I know, by much experience, that I can't.
I have seen homes where the family was last and others were first. It is a terrible thing to do to your spouse and children. I have experienced it first hand, so that's why I'm family first always. When your family is first, I believe you are putting God first, because you are doing what He specifically emphasized in His Word. In the families that put their family last, they thought that they were putting God first by serving others before their family. They would be so cruel to their families from sheer exhaustion in giving their best to others. It's so sad to me when we don't give our family our best.
I think we ought to reach out to others when we can; however, when our homes are neglected and we are snappy to our loved ones, things must be cut drastically.
I do not do much it seems in ministry work, but the things I do are bringing a meal to someone, sending a card, or a phone call.
I can do most of these things from home and they mean alot to people.
We used to once a month or so as children go to sing at the nursing home. It was not too often, but it meant alot to the people that we did it for. Another thing was our home was always open for people to stay overnight in. I think this is another huge ministry you can have in your home.
I have been hurt badly by people who took the attitude that their family was more important than any friends and even if you were bleeding emotionally, they did not have time for you.
So, I try hard to make sure I have a balance, but it is hard!
But on the other hand I think it was really good for me to learn how to be self sacrificing and give up my room for others when they needed a place to sleep. I have seen how selfish the children can be when they are told that our house is our own. no matter how small it was we had company and we shared!
That is a good question, I look forward to reading the comments.
Reaching out to others is as much an attitude or outlook as anything. A willingness, a heart attitude to be there for those that God sends your way is essetial.
An often overlooked, or rather, a service often seen as being "intangible", is prayer. The truth is there is nothing more tangible, or important, that we can do. What better service is there than to lift up another to the loving arms of our God and Creator? Never discount this act of service. It is not the least, but the most and best service anyone can do.
Remember that God has called His people to love and serve others. It would stand to reason, therefore, that He sends many opportunities our way to do so. The difficulty is that we are often so busy, or are looking for the big gesture, that we miss what is right in front of us. Something as simple as scheduling a few extra minutes into our schedule for the things we already do can offer us the time to respond to those people whom God will send our way. I have personally experienced this numerous times while grocery shopping, at the auto repair shop, or running any of the other misc. errands that must be done. Having those few extra minutes to listen, offer encouragement, or even tips on cooking, are an act of service to our Lord and others.
Other simple ways to serve:
Invite individuals or families over to share a meal
Offer to tend the children so the parents can have a date -- or just time together
Bake cookies, a cake, or some other thing for your neighbors
Bring a meal to families/individuals who are ill, suffering breavement, or who have just had a child
Most importantly, be faithful in serving your family. It is the primary task that God has given you. By caring for them, you are also caring for those that they minister to. Remember also that your children are your pennultimate mission field.
Trust in the Lord, rest in Him, love Him, seek Him above all else, and He will provide you with EVERYTHING you need.
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