Call me a prude
I have been surprised at the less-than-kind comments posted on this thread saying that my blog readers and I need to "grow up" and get over the trashy magazines. Apparently, there is a huge contingent of people who think pornography is completely acceptable, even for young children. I just don't get it. Call me a prude. I'll take it.
I loved this post by Kimi Harris on what it means to be an adult.
I loved this post by Kimi Harris on what it means to be an adult.
You see, we are all "adults" now so we should be able to hear and read and see all that I have described above. We are "mature" enough now to see nudity, read graphic material, and discuss these issues in an open manner. If you bring up the fact that you don't want to see or hear such things, you are treated as if you didn't want to "grow up". It's "childish" to be pure. So not only do you have to stand alone in your pursuit of purity of mind, but you are treated as an imbecile for wanting to be.She concludes:
The problem here is not that young teens should be allowed to see "adult" material", but that our definition of adulthood and maturity should be differently defined. It's not a step up in growing up to see such movies or doing such things yourself, it's a step down.
I feel that as Christian adults, we need to be wise in setting a different standard for the younger generations of what it means to be an adult. I think that as a young person, you need courage to be different and willing to be pure even if you are reviled because of it.
posted by Crystal Paine at 4:04 PM
22 Comments:
Dear Mrs. Prude,
Thank you. Though I have been a prude for a few years now, your even more prude-ish example has strengthened my marriage, made my baby happier, caused me to be more confident in speaking of Christ to unbelievers, & most importantly, brought me closer to the Lord. I love the fact that purity is not mocked here, as it is everywhere else.
Sincerely,
Proud-to-be-Prudish-too
put me in the prude group then too! I CONSTANTLY turn the trash away from my children while we are in line at the grocery. This theory that we are "all mature and consenting adults" is just that, 'THE WORLD'S THEORY'! I have never wanted to be part of the world and we are called not to be part of this world right from God's word. So again, call me a prude! I am proud of it! and, I will never let my children be exposed to this stuff! I would stop shopping at a grocery store if they did not remove it!
There are worse things than being childlike:
I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it. (Mark 10:15)
Hmm...good reason to use one of the grocery delivery services, if you can afford it - such as Peapod, Albertson's, or others.
You know, people start the name-calling when they feel convicted. Example: I dress modestly and make the "mistake" of talking about it. Some ladies start talking about "legalists" and of course thats worse than being immodest!
It is sad that Christians(?)fight to defend sin.
R
Dear Prude Women's Society,
How much does it cost to join? I would love to become a member too. You have given me many ideas and the guts to do something when going through the check-out isles. Call me a "Prude Wannabe". I do declare....
The problem is not that you need to grow up or anything else of the sort. The problem is that most of the people in your group take great steps to remove yourselves from what is "society". You don't vaccinate, you teach that women should worship their men, and you refuse to acknowledge and accept anything you find "objectionable". It's not about "liking" pornography, it's about realizing that it's there and being OK with that.
These others that turn away magazines, and refuse to let them watch anything but religious programs on T.V. - your children are going to be adults at some point. Make sure they are prepared for the culture-shock that is an L.A. or a New York or the corporate workplace or they are going to be in serious trouble.
Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God. . .
hmm
- a "prude"
I am smiling so widely as I read all these comments! I was called a "prude" all through college simply because I was not planning on being intimate with any men before marriage . . and I thanked God for it this weekend, as I enjoyed my engagement photo session in Central Park with the loving, devoted man of faith who - God willing - I'll marry at the end of the year. Our first conversation was about how I was waiting for my husband even though I was already 26 - and he told me later that he'd had to fight tears at that moment because he knew right then that God was moving him to court me. So you can bet that I thank God for my "prudishness," if it honored Him, and brought me to the man He intended for me.
Keep up the good fight, ladies . . Crystal, as always, I love visiting your blog.
~Jessica in NYC
To those who posted less than kind remarks directed at Crystal:
I'm a prude too! I like being a prude...I will always be a prude! Call me all the names you want to...it won't faze me in the slightest because I don't answer to you...I answer to God Almighty. You will answer to Him someday too, although you are choosing to ignore this FACT at the current time.
I'm a daughter of a King who wants His best for me. I'll take that over being "an object" anyday!
Count me in! =) I have gotten so I don't even look over there but training my eyes but I know that I have younger siblings and little kids who walk by that trash all the time and I feel bad for them being exposed to all that!
~Jaclynn
Hi, Michael!
Thank you for taking the time to comment. I usually don't post these kind of comments, but I had a moment to respond and so thought I would.
First off, just so you know, we aren't a "group" or anything of that sort. Or if there is a group, I'm certainly not aware of it. This is just a blog -- we have readers of all sorts and types. You might be surprised at the diversity of our readership -- Protestant, Catholic, Muslim, athiest, agnostic, you name it.
There is a large contingent of my readership that is made up of up Christian families who are seeking to honor the Lord and walk according to His commandments which are found in His Word. However, this sector of people is also very diverse as well, I can promise you.
None of us are seeking to be hermits and bury our head under the sand. Quite the contrary. If that were the case, I wouldn't even know there were pronographic magazines out there, let alone be encouraging anyone to do anything about them.
I also don't refuse to acknowledge that which I find unacceptable or sinful in society. Believe me, I know it's out there, much as I wish it wasn't. But, I also believe strongly that just because I acknowledge something is there does not mean I have to accept it or be okay with it. Pornography is destroying men, marriages, and families. I cannot sit blindly by.
I'm so grateful that my parents loved me enough to protect me, as much as is humanly possible, from the perversion and filth of the world. The best way to prepare your child for the "real world" is to ground them in what is Truth, what is good, what is wholesome, what is God-honoring.
As an aside: As far as vaccination, for the record, I was vaccinated and I'm sure lots and lots of people on here were as well. That's not even a subject I've touched on, on this blog, to my knowledge. My personal feeling is that you should do all the research on the pros and cons of each type of vaccination and then decide what is best for your own child. I also don't believe that women should worship men. That is idolatry. The only thing/Person anyone should worship is God. All other forms of worship are wrong and sinful. I worship God and because I worship God, I want to obey His commands to honor and reverence my husband.
Michael,
You are really jumping to conclusions. It seems you have read many blogs and have grouped us all in one together.
Vaccination is very important and I highly reccomend it. It is also important to get your boosters. There is an out break of whooping cough in my area and my friend's baby died from it because she was not vaccinated. I believe people who choose not to vaccinate their children should seriously reconsider and should imagine the world without vaccinations...a lot of dead children. (I am also a RN)
Anyway, I have very young children and I have certain values that I want to instill in them. My young children need to be protected from evil influences when they are impressionable. When my son is mature enough to understand what is right and wrong I will relax my hold on him. I will not turn a young man into a world full of all kinds of wickedness unprepared. However, when he is small I will protect his tender heart.
This is a free country and we have the right to have our feelings and voices heard. I don't want to have to sit and be quiet if I don't like something. If enough people let their voices be heard things will change. That is what America is all about. If the majority of mothers, wanting to protect their kids from suggestive pictures on magazines, make a big enough stink that the store managers start to put the magazines someplace else then, so be it. I will never be "OK" with porn just like I will never be "OK" with drugs. It devalues women to be mere sex objects and warps a man's view of sex. I have personally known men who are addicted to porn and have not been able to have a healthy relationship with a women. I will never be able to rid the world of sexual immorality, but if I can, atleast, get it out of plain sight than I will.
You were probably tongue in cheek about the worship of husbands. However, I do respect my husband and do what he says (most of the time) because that is what I believe I should do, as a Christian. I am no door mat and have let him know many times that I am not. I even have fights with him. I'm not saying that it is right that we argue but I don't go around with my face down and not making eye contact.
As Crystal mentioned, there are a lot of different kinds of people reading this blog. FYI: There are 30,000 different denominations in the Christian religion in America (this includes independent churches).
I am definately going to make sure my children are prepared before they go out into the world. I have seen families who did not prepare their children and it turned out really bad. I think it is important to focus on shaping the child's heart and not just making rules and keeping him sheltered (though, young children need rules because they don't understand alot of things). I think these families who's children turned out very bad, even though they were pretty strict, focused on the outward and forgot to reach the child's heart.
Example: I never did drugs, not because my parents forbade me but because I had a conscience and new it was wrong and that doing wrong things is not OK. And believe me, I had opportunity to take drugs when I was a teenager.
Anyway, I digress and should stop now.
Hi Michael,
Crystal and Zan both made great points that I won't re-state here, but I just wanted to point out, in case you didn't notice, that I myself am from New York City. I am currently holding a corporate job (and I've held others prior to this one) although I feel my true calling is to fulfill God's word and be a mother and keeper at home. I've also lived and worked in Los Angeles.
My parents raised me and my sisters with the same kind of values, morals, and ideals that you see reflected in Crystal's blog. And we have never experienced any kind of "culture shock." Disappointment in society and society's lack of respect for the Lord? Sure. Pity for women and men who ignore His teachings, and leave their children with no path to salvation? Absolutely. But shock? No. No matter where I live, I find nothing but joy and satisfaction in obeying my father (and soon, my husband) while (hopefully) living to honor God and spread His Gospel.
Best wishes and God's blessings,
Jessica in NYC
Megmarc, I laughed outloud at your comment and then had to read it to my husband.
Homemakerang: Glad you are protecting your children and welcome to "The Prude Club."
Young Christian Women: I completely agree.
Theodora: You are right on that. One big advantage of those. If only they were less expensive I might consider it. Anyone here use them, by the way?
Rhonda: So true.
Cheryl: You are too funny! Membership is free and open to anyone willing to take the time and put forth the effort to protect themselves and their children. :)
Exactly, Olivia.
Jessica: What a beautiful story! And thank you for sharing about your background and how being protected has helped, not hindered you.
Well said, Donna.
DelightinginHim: I totally agree.
Zan: You are so right that it is most important that we focus on the hearts of our children. Lots of people can conform for a time, I hope and pray that my children won't just conform to some sort of "standard" but that they will be transformed in Christ.
Vaccinated prude here!
Crystal, I'm so sorry some people just look for any opportunity to call you names and revile you. I suppose that's to be expected when you so boldly declare what you know to be true. :)
I hadn't thought my sons old enough to even notice the magazines, but my 3 yo has begun staring sometimes, so I will soon become another magazine-turning mother.
I will never be OK with the existence of pornography. It is sick, twisted, and perverse. It destroys love, marriages, and the lives of children.
We don't have any illusions about sheltering our children from the knowledge of the existance of such evil. But while they are even this young, we are working on gaining thier hearts and instilling in them the values necessary to survive in this broken world.
BTW, I was raised (and vaccinated) by parents who were very conservative in they eyes of the world. There was a lot I was not allowed to do or to see. I did not rebel and go wild when I hit my teens. I got more conservative than my folks. So much for that theory.
As I have told my teenage sons, becoming an adult is not about getting to do whatever you "want." It is about having the maturity to recognize and to do what is right. There is nothing adult about pornography. Those magazine covers make me think of snickering school boys. Now they have their own publications and aren't they so grown up? Even my young sons appreciate a girl who has more modesty than to show off all her skin.
I would like to say this for those who think that "we" should grow up. I've always watched television and chuckled at my grandfather's dismay at what is shown. "It's no big deal,really." Well, lately I've kept myself busy with other things and have not watched much tv. I must tell you, I was shocked when I sat down with my husband and the commercials came on!
I think we get lulled into an acceptance of things that are unacceptable just by sheer exposure (no pun intended). It isn't until you look on more lovely and exceptional things that you realize just how ugly those other things really are. I think pulling those magazines would be a wonderful step in shaking us out of our stupor and our acceptance of anorexic girls whose bones are showing along with everything else on their overly made-up bodies.
:::stepping down now::: had no intention of going on and on. I didn't realize how strongly I felt about this until I started typing and my fingers took over. ;)
I posted the comment without reading the previous comments. To Michael, I would like to say that I am tired of having to prepare myself or my children for culture shock. I think that we should change the culture and let other people be shocked by modesty.
I thought I would share a recent success story.
In the area we live we have a very nice chain of convenience stores... they are super clean and all the people that work there are friendly etc. etc. We always appreciated the fact that they didn't have any magazines ANYWHERE in the store. Recently, they put up some almost life size posters of women in beach attire advertising alcohol. Mama wrote to him complaining and he promptly had them taken out!! So... it is worth saying something!
Michael,
Be very careful who you throw stones at. Maybe someday (not that I'm wishing it) you might have an autistic child too. Then your views on vaccination might take a slightly different turn.
I don't quite get what vaccinations has to do with being conservative and not letting your children see things they shouldn't? Am I missing something?
There are many ore people who do not vaccinate that are not even professing to be Christians.
I was raised without having to see so many awful things in the world growing up, I didn't have to experience many heartaches because my parents did not just let us do whatever came by.
I will teah my children about the evil things in the world so they know how to face them and deal with them, but that does not mean i have to show them to them all their growing up years so they are not shocked by them. There is enough they see all the time, I do not need to expose them to more, and if I can prevent them from seeing some of that (magazines etc. ) I will.
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