The extinction of decent clothes
Is it just me or are decent clothes becoming near-extinct?
Jesse and I went shopping tonight to buy a nice shirt for me to wear with my "staple" black skirt. I thought it would be a very simple thing. Guess again.
I really dislike shopping and I have so many other things I'd rather do. But, we have a few events we are attending in the next couple of weeks and I scoured my closet and couldn't come up with anything suitable and didn't think that a nice collared t-shirt (what I wear most of the time in the summer along with my staple khaki skirts) would do.
I'm not sure what I wore last Summer. I think I was still in my post-pregnancy "fat clothes" which I've thankfully grown out of for awhile. At any rate, I had no dressy Summer blouses to go with my black skirt except for the one which I've had since before I got married that I have probably worn 532 times (I'm not joking!) and Jesse really doesn't like it in the first place (why I still have it, I'm not sure!).
So anyway, off to the store we went. I had a picture in my mind of what I basically wanted and I decided, for once, to not worry so much about the prices and just get something cute, feminine, and modest. Problem was, it didn't matter that I wasn't looking at the prices, there wasn't anything there even remotely close to what I was looking for.
The store was having a super-de-duper sale for Memorial Day weekend and there were racks upon racks of clothing which were 90% off. You would think I could find something in all that hodge-podge of ultra-marked-down articles. Not hardly. Seriously, the stuff was just gross. It either was worn, faded, torn, skimpy, or a combination of all of the above.
So, I moved from the sale racks to the regular racks thinking that maybe it would be easier to local something in an area which was not so picked through. Still nothing but pretty much atrocious styles. I overheard one lady saying to her friend, "I don't want to dress like I'm 16, but I also don't want to dress like I'm 80 -- there doesn't seem to be many other options." I concur. It seems they are trying to push the "hip" styles on the moms, too. As if somehow wearing ragged and faded clothing will turn back the clock for them or something.
Who makes up these ugly styles anyways? I was trying to picture the style manufacturers sitting around their big boardroom table thinking up what new heinous design they could create and see if people would actually wear it and if it would even become a fad.
If only classic, modest, and feminine would come back into style. I think I'm really and truly going to have to learn how to sew better. My options are fast dwindling.
Jesse and I went shopping tonight to buy a nice shirt for me to wear with my "staple" black skirt. I thought it would be a very simple thing. Guess again.
I really dislike shopping and I have so many other things I'd rather do. But, we have a few events we are attending in the next couple of weeks and I scoured my closet and couldn't come up with anything suitable and didn't think that a nice collared t-shirt (what I wear most of the time in the summer along with my staple khaki skirts) would do.
I'm not sure what I wore last Summer. I think I was still in my post-pregnancy "fat clothes" which I've thankfully grown out of for awhile. At any rate, I had no dressy Summer blouses to go with my black skirt except for the one which I've had since before I got married that I have probably worn 532 times (I'm not joking!) and Jesse really doesn't like it in the first place (why I still have it, I'm not sure!).
So anyway, off to the store we went. I had a picture in my mind of what I basically wanted and I decided, for once, to not worry so much about the prices and just get something cute, feminine, and modest. Problem was, it didn't matter that I wasn't looking at the prices, there wasn't anything there even remotely close to what I was looking for.
The store was having a super-de-duper sale for Memorial Day weekend and there were racks upon racks of clothing which were 90% off. You would think I could find something in all that hodge-podge of ultra-marked-down articles. Not hardly. Seriously, the stuff was just gross. It either was worn, faded, torn, skimpy, or a combination of all of the above.
So, I moved from the sale racks to the regular racks thinking that maybe it would be easier to local something in an area which was not so picked through. Still nothing but pretty much atrocious styles. I overheard one lady saying to her friend, "I don't want to dress like I'm 16, but I also don't want to dress like I'm 80 -- there doesn't seem to be many other options." I concur. It seems they are trying to push the "hip" styles on the moms, too. As if somehow wearing ragged and faded clothing will turn back the clock for them or something.
Who makes up these ugly styles anyways? I was trying to picture the style manufacturers sitting around their big boardroom table thinking up what new heinous design they could create and see if people would actually wear it and if it would even become a fad.
If only classic, modest, and feminine would come back into style. I think I'm really and truly going to have to learn how to sew better. My options are fast dwindling.
posted by Crystal Paine at 12:17 AM
41 Comments:
Sorry you had such trouble.
I've really been finding some great stuff at our local thrift store recently. I go every Saturday for the .99c sale, and have come up with some great stuff, including a beautiful brand new (tags on) dress, modest and classy (which I promptly dripped bleach on, auuugghh!) and last week, two wonderful classy blouses, one still with tags on.
If you give me your size and what you're looking for, maybe I could see what I can find for you. :D
In total agreement here! While styles in some ads are getting more modest, they are still tacky in their own right!
Goody's, a discount clothier, had several modest, cute, and inexpensive blouses in a size appropriate for those of us who are curvy. `It might be worth a look. Also, Sears sells Lands End and LE has modest and functional blouses so Sears might be worth a look.
Best wishes in your search and please post your results. I have 5 days to find myself a modest, pretty, appropriate outfit for my niece's upscale graduation. Ugh.
Katie in Ohio
Maternity clothes are the same way. I tried on a polo shirt and had to wear XL for it to look normal (I'm usually a medium), it's ridiculous.
I think I will go to Goodwill to get clothes from now on. The odds of finding decent clothes are better there.
My sister in law has considered taking up sewing because she has a hard time finding decent clothes. She is tall, so that makes it a lot worse.
This is so true! My biggest struggle is with just “Every day” clothes that don’t look like I crawled out of a hovel (supposed to look like that???). And what is with designing clothes so that you look like you are going to literally pop out of it if you even consider bending over or doing something other than stand/sit like a bump on a log???
The only stores I can count on right now in my area for my girls are JCPenney’s, Kohl’s and Gymboree sales – and even then, the selection is sparse. Thrift stores have proven to be of no use – I’m convinced that there are other modest clothes wearers on the prowl and I’m just a wee bit too late in the search!
For me, I have to stick to Chadwick’s, JCPenney’s, and other online retailers and stay aware of sales/free shipping. For nicer clothes, I still find I have to do some careful layering because of the cut/design of some blouses.
Have fun in your quest!
Ann Taylor LOFT is my all time favorite store. And though a lot of people think its too expensive, its really not! I've gotten a lot of nice stuff there on the sale rack. (As a matter of fact, I remember getting a skirt there for $7.00! I mostly go there for jeans though, because i have a smaller build. If I know what size jeans I wear, go in and find the right size, I don't even have to try them on. Thats why I love this store. : ) (I went there actually last week, and they have a lot of white in right now! : ) )
http://anntaylorloft.com/
-Hannah
I totally agree, Crystal. Every time I shop (which isn't often) I feel either unhip or too picky. I guess it depends also on what store you're shopping in... I have noticed that right now full, pretty skirts that hit just below the knee are in style, and I think they're very cute. I know you already have a skirt and a look you're wanting, but maybe there's a dress or a top in a different color to go with a skirt? One of my staples is a full tea-length skirt with a nice t-shirt, topped with a short or long-sleeved cardigan to "dress it up." Granted, I don't dress up often, and I don't have many places to go where I need to dress up. But these are just thoughts off the top of my head... Hope you find something!
I totally agree with you...it is so hard to find decent clothes nowadays. Did you look at Christopher & Banks? You can find their site online and find the nearest store to your location. They seem to have lots of modest, feminine clothes. I'll warn you though, their retail prices can be a little steep, although they do have great sales! (I got a beautiful dress there once for $3!....originally $50) :)
Do you have a Christopher & Banks near you? I love their store, and they have nice, cute styles.
I agree, the styles now are just plain ugly! Very unfeminine and unflattering! I love to shop for clothing, but get tired of looking through all the immodest styles. Not only the clothes, but all the people around who are wearing the clothes!
Although the majority of my skirts, tops and blouses I sew, I love to wear sweaters, whether long or short sleeve. So those I end up buying.
I usually shop Christopher & Banks, which is more expensive than most department stores. But I always shop their sale racks; they have some pretty good bargains. Sometimes I have even bought a couple skirts and tops; they were less expensive on sale than to buy the fabric to make them! :)
Also www.chadwicks.com has some really nice styles. I think you have mentioned this site once before. I can usually get some pretty good bargains when I shop with their coupons and sale weekends! In fact they are having a Memorial Day sale this weekend!
I'm totally with you on this one. I like J. Jill but they can be a little pricey. I am just going to lay low for 20 years and see if it gets better. :)
I know what you mean Crystal. I guess maybe that is why thrift store
shopping has taken over for us because occasionally you can still find that nice, classic, modest, feminine style in good condition there. Last weekend I was in Walmart and my little brother and sister were commenting in the raggy holey faded jeans in the women's section. And why would you pay almost $30 for something that looked like it belonged in the garbage???
I wish I knew how to sew better too, but it is something I have never really liked.
I feel your pain! One thing about the style right now is that really long shirts are hip. One of my biggest pet peeves are shirts that aren't long enough.
I have to shop in the juniors section because of my size , and the selection for modest clothing is very slim. So, I went to Old Navy and bought a few of the extended length tank tops(black, white, and tan), and I wear them under my shirts so there is no cleavage or belly exposure. They aren't too expensive and I believe if you buy more than one you get a better deal:) Good luck!
i so agree with you about styles and prices! i now have some skirts thanks to goodwill but no tops!! i'm still looking.
I completely agree with you, which may seem odd since my blog is all about what to wear. The other ladies here have given you good advice. Sewing is also a wonderful option, but finding good fabrics can be a real challenge. Your struggle probably illustrates why I live most of my life in crew-neck t-shirts topped with blazer or cardigan.
How did your husband like going shopping with you? I rarely have mine accompany me anymore, due to the pornographic posters, etc, in the stores.
I hear you Crystal! Try being a plus size woman trying to find modest clothing! YIKES! It's just not available. I don't want to wear my skirts above my knees and my blouses down to my knees! I know there are plenty others out there that feel the same way. Hello? Manufacturers? Do you hear us? nope.
I will say that I agree 100% with all of the suggestions already given. Chadwicks, Goody's, Christopher & B. are all good stores. Funny enough, the Goodwill in my part of town has excellent clothing. Especially for ladies sizes 4-10. My daughter hates the clingly blouses out these days and I can find older ones, in good condition, at the Goodwill for only $3.99 or cheaper on half price days. I found 3 skirts for myself (which is just short of miraculous) the other day & only paid $6 for all of them. The Goodwill encourages me to lose weight so I can wear all the nice clothes there! haha! God is good! Blessings!
Actually, while it very sadly true that the selections are very limited, myself and many friends with similar tastes have noticed that there are more nice things in the "regular" stores than there were a few years ago. Long, full skirts especially have been easier to find at places like Wal-Mart, Kohl's, and Target - probably because the "peasant" or "broomstick" style is quite fashionable now. At the same time, blouses are somewhat more difficult to find. I have had the most success at our local thrift shops - Unique, Goodwill, and Saint Vincent dePaul. Some days are just better than others at these kind of places...one time I may find several great deals, and another, nothing nice. :) Mondays in particular are a good day to shop, because both Unique and St. Vincent's have everything half-off on that day. Just this week I found a beautiful cotton floral dress with the $109-tag still dangling from it at St. Vincent's for $2.50!
I do know that some of my friends have found some very lovely white blouses (not sure about prints/other colors) at Kohl's, I believe. The beautiful lightweight linen/linen-look kind with long/three-quarter-length sleeves and almost vintage-looking decor. You just have to be sure to have a proper undershirt or camisole to wear underneath because they tend to be rather sheer!
Hope this helps! I will say a prayer for you to find just the blouse you need, Crystal!
Try Coldwater Creek. You'll pay for it, for sure, but you'll definitely get 532+ wears out of it!
Have you looked on Ebay? Its my thrift store sitting at my desk! I love it.. New, used.. "out of date" hehe And the greatest way to find long jean skirts!!!!! They are SOOO hard to find brand new in store that are "decent" looking. I found one once and I paid a pretty penny for it also. And sometimes they are hard to find in thrift stores that havnt been used to death already. :-D
SO my fav is Ebay for sure!!! Second of course is thrift stores.
Try lookin!!!!!!!
Last time I clothes shopped 'for real' was last year looking for something to wear to my graduation. It was NOT fun. I haven't been shopping for clothes since. Everything I have I get at the thrift shop.
So - I do agree with your thoughts. Who would PAY for a blue jean jacket that is ripped and faded. There is something really wrong with that.
I saw that Wal-Mart has some really pretty skirts in.
OH MY GOSH, We seem to be having the same issue. I recently went to the mall, thinking I could pick up a few nice pieces (reasonably priced) to weaer to work. Everything is either made for teenagers or old people. I like to dress my age, and I like to look professional and age appropriate, and there was NOTHING that helped. Everything had writing, was cut horribly (kinda skanky would be an understatement), or was for people larger and much older than me. Whatever happened to the basics? I like long sleeved tops and twill button up shirts. Do these not exist anymore? Even shoes have become an issue. I usually wear a nicely maintained pair of chucks (converse) but now they are loud and obnoxious colors and patterns and $60. Everything else is spiked and strange.
tear:(
Perhaps there are some online/mail rder places you could try? I know here in Oz, we have http://www.ezibuy.com.au (I'm not sure if they deliver outside NZ and Australia though) and there is also http://www.undercoverwear.com.au Don't be distressed when you first click on it! They also sell lovely undergarments and lingeree. If they don't deliver outside of Aus., and you liked some of the stuff, I'm sure we could arange something, like, you order using yr name and credit card but my address or whatever and I could mail them over to you when I get them. *shrug* It's an idea for if you get really desperate! (also, don't forget the exchange rate!)
I hope you can find something closer to home though.
Ditto for Christopher and Banks or their women's size store CJ Banks. I also drool over the Coldwater Creek catalog.
Kitten
Have you tried Talbots? They have very classic, relatively modest clothing that is also quite feminine. They are a bit pricey, but if you can go during a sale or even find one of their outlets, then it is worth the time. Try their website to see what is near you. www.talbots.com
Crystal, I feel your pain, as do many of my friends. :) I just wanted to encourage you to bust out the sewing machine and brush up your skills. Once you start sewing your own things, it's so hard to go back to shopping! The positive aspects are endless... you can tailor what you want exactly to your size, pick fabric/trims you like, design it yourself, make it as modest/feminine/lovely as you want, etc. Often it is a lot cheaper than what you could get in the stores, too! (As long as you have the time to sew it yourself, that is.) So, go for it!
WOW! So I am not the only one. ;-) There have been several occasions where me and my husband go to Wal-Mart to find a new cute top for me for a special occasion and I find myself roaming around the clothing department section like a lost little puppy. I turn to my husband and the sympathy is written all over his face. Yes, the online stores are great (that is what I have come to). BUT, what if you don't always have time for an order to come in, you just want to get something decent, TODAY!
I don't know about you ladies but I have noticed a simple button up the front shirt is not so simple anymore, the last button at the top barely reaches the breast line.
I was at a car show with my family this weekend and I think I was one out of five women wearing a skirt. One lady stopped me in the restroom and said, "Aren't you HOT in that." (It was even a khaki skirt) Stunned and not real prepared I said, "No I am actually use to it." And smiled. I didn't think to mention that it is actually breezier in a skirt with plenty of air flow and nothing binding my croctch area. ;-) Oh well. The hardships of trying to be a true feminie lady.
Phallin
I guess I'm not the only one who has literally envisioned fashion designers sitting around a conference table plotting their next designs. I would love to know who suggests some fads, such as the ripped and worn jeans look!!!
I also have so much trouble finding decent shirts. Skirts are doable to find, though I have to sew my own usually to get ankle-length ones. Finding nice tops is a continual problem, though. I want something that isn't baggy, but feminine in fitting, without being tight or oddly tucked. I don't like elastic in weird places, and I don't like plunging necklines. How hard is this?!?!?!
To make my problem more difficult, I have a small waist coupled with a long back-waist length, so pretty much any shirt I buy is not properly proportioned. I am very thankful for the ability to do basic alterations! I mainly find semi-fine blouses at thrift stores and alter them as needed.
What about Lands' End? we are always happy with the quality and service, and their style is very classic. Sears carries some of their line as well.
In the past Sears has been the one store where I could find cute summer clothes for my little girl that actually looked like something for a little girl.....rather than for a tramp in training!
What about Talbot's??? They have petite sizes too. It is expensive, but.....you can find things on sale and I think they have an outlet store. Hey, try the Eddie Bauer Outlet store in Olathe at the Great Plains Mall. They have some GREAT stuff there and it is very inexpensive. Lauren and I love that store. I dropped about $150.00 there a year ago and got about $500 retail worth of clothes.
What kind of styles do you like? Are you going for a "look"??? Let me know and I will cruz the internet for you....I used to have a pretty good resource of clothing companies (because I love to buy over the net) and I bet I can find something you like. :-)
Hmmmmm.....this seems like a good business opportunity to me.....maybe I'll think a little more about this! hee hee.
i did the same thing this last week, Crystal! I found a couple of things at JC Penny's in the women's section, but even there it was few and far between and then it would not fit right, because I am petite and I have to wear Juniors or girls size stuff. Everyhing was ugly, horrible stuff! I ended up buy the boys 4 pairs of pants for $11 something and leaving the store with nothing for myself.
So for a dressier shirt, what kind do you like? Did you ever find one? i wear nice sweaters in the winter or layer cardigans and shells, but in the summer it is harder.
You are so right on the state of affairs in buying clothing. I noticed quite a few good ideas, but it is not easy buying via mail, internet, etc. Not being able to try something on. I sew some of my clothes but I rely a great deal on fabrics collected some years ago being we almost do not have any fabric stores anymore. And when you buy from Walmart, most of theirs are inferior fabrics...once in awhile on the $1 or $2 table they slip in something that is good, but not easy to find!! And as to Walmart's readymade clothing...and this is for women like me who are grandmas...either it is trendy stuff for teenagers or something maybe that they wear in Mexico with LOTS of beads, sequins etc. on it. May look ok, but I am a grandma who loves to cuddle my grandbabies and how can you with that stuff all over your chest??
I TOTALLY AGREE on the clothes issue. It's hard, very hard, to find good modest clothes these days. I get most of mine at yard sales and thrift stores!
I had to buy three sizes up the other day. Why? Stuff is so SMALL! I guess it was supposed to be up to my rib cage...but a large solved teh problem nicely. It actually fits decently.
Hi, I really sympathize but the situation is even worse in the UK! I have ordered from the US on several occasions as it is possible to buy a modest clothes from a range of retailers. The few stores selling modest clothes here tend to be from the US too e.g. Landsend and Orvis.
I have had particular difficulty finding older girls' clothes and maternity clothes here. A friend and I are now taking sewing classes so we can make clothes for ourselves and our daughters.
LAF and "Raising miadens of virtue" both have lists of suppliers of modest clothing. You probably won't like them all-I certainly don't but there are enough that there is choice and being in the US if you don't like anything returns are probably rather easier than from the UK. Having said that I've been pleased with the clothes I have ordered.
Hope you find something soon.
Annaelisabeth
I was looking for a black pencil skirt for a nursing pinning ceremony (I was the one pinning the new grad), I couldn't find a single pencil skirt. All they had were those silly gauncho pants. They have got to be soo silly looking.
I like some of the new styles but classic will last forever and never goes out of style. Why don't they sell "normal" clothes at the stores. Ahhh. I was so frustrated.
I also jsut wanted to buy some nice v-neck shrot sleeve shirts for around the house. The colors were so ugly, bright, and pukey looking.
Shopping shouldn't be this difficult!
I had to end up borrowing a dress for the pinning ceremony.
I accidentally rejected a number of comments this afternoon which were supposed to be published. So, here they are:
I have had the same problem. I recommend JC Penney's and Casual Corner/Petite Sophisticate.
When I can afford it, Ann Taylor and Talbots are the best. As one commenter already pointed out, these stores aren't necessarily that pricey if you go for the sales! Good luck! -The Happy Feminist
Have you checked out www.blair.com? I would say that at least 3/4 of their dressy tops are old-ladyish, but I did see a few pretty ones at very decent prices. –Erin
Hey, just a thought on something else to try - maybe a blouse isn't the answer? Depending on how extreme your views on modesty are, this might be outside your comfort zone, but I would strongly recommend investing in a sweater set.
All you need is a white or cream tank top or camisole - not too low-cut, and with wide enough shoulders that your bra straps are hidden. Then get a little crochet sweater in white or cream to match, and bam, you have something you can wear with denim, or dress up with pearls. The sweater adds orders of magnitude of modesty, but almost zero weight or warmth. And you can wear the tank top under other things, and the sweater over other things, so you get bang for your buck. A good place to look for this kind of thing is "career woman" kinds of stores, because in a lot of less-formal offices, sweater sets are more the woman's uniform than suits.
Here's a picture of what I'm talking about - although it looks a bit silly because I'm trying to take it in the bathroom mirror:
http://tinyurl.com/q5yh5
I totally understand what your saying Crystal! If it isn't just plain ugly...it is totally inappropriate. I don't want to look like a kid..and I also don't want to look like I'm going to pop out of my clothes and I don't want to dress in a mumu ;-)
I can sew, but sometimes it is hard to find appropriate clothes that don't look like a potato sack. sigh...
Blessings,
Sommer
Oh, I can SO relate! It is very frustrating, particularly when you're really needing something specific.
I have recently and seriously been thinking of starting a little business of making/designing modest and trendy clothing. I've never heard of such a company. It seems that if they're modest, they tend to be frumpy or prairie-style, which is fine for some, but not necessarily for me. ;)
It is truly becoming harder and harder to find nice, modest clothing. I have had a little success recently at Ann Taylor and New York and Co. (surprisingly! I normally don't shop at the latter store).
Oh, and Eddie Bauer.
I hope you can find what you're looking for!
Oh, and I totally second and third comments recommending J.Jill, Coldwater Creek (though you have to be careful, as they are often Grandma-ish in their styles), and Talbots. I think, from what I know of you, you'd particularly like Talbots.
Someone may have already mentioned this (I read through all the comments days ago, and forgot all of the places mentioned...) but I was just looking at Blair.Com, and they have some very nice blouses. Very feminine, and not too expensive. A lot of the dressier ones were polyester (I prefer cotton most days) but for church or special events, they would be so nice!
LL Bean, Woolrich, and Orvis all have some very conservative, classic, dressy and semi-dressy clothing in their catalogs. That is where we often find nice, (and normal!) things. (Websites are the company names.)We have the same problem up north here, especially for summer clothing!
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