It's Not About Choice
I'm always amazed at how when I barely even broach the subject of feminism, I have an onslaught of self-proclaimed feminists who write me trying to set the record straight. I'm sure these are well-meaning people, but their sugar-coated message that feminism is "all about choice" is dead wrong. While feminism has afforded women a few new choices in the last 30 years -- like the so-called "right" to murder babies or to divorce husbands for no reason -- feminism, at it's root, is nothing about choice.
No matter what feminists say, their attitude says only one thing -- feminism is about selfishness. It's about me doing what I want to do, how I want to do it, when I want to do it, and nobody better tell me differently. It's about irresponsibility -- I want the freedom to not be bound by marriage, to sleep with multiple partners and use birth control or morning-after pills or abortion so I never have to worry about the consequences of my actions. And ultimately, it's about a sad, lonely life searching for fulfillment in things outside of Christ, marriage, motherhood, and home.
I just got The Politically Incorrect Guide to Women, Sex, and Feminism by Carrie Lukas today (No endorsement yet, look for a review in a few weeks.). Upon flipping open the first page, this statement caught my eye in light of some emails I'd gotten today from feminists:
I used to think that feminism was a dying force -- something of the hippie generation which was going down in flames. Then I started blogging. For some reason, the feminists have been attracted to this blog in droves. It took me a few months to figure out what the deal was but I finally got it: feminists want stay-at-home moms to be cowardly housewives. As long as you shut up and scrub toilets, they'll leave you alone. But, if you so much as even insinuate that men and women might be different in some respects, they are waiting to pounce upon you and tear you to pieces. And how dare I say that cleaning and cooking and caring for babies is a mother's job? The worst "crime" of all to commit against feminism is to say that women need protectors.
Feminists often comment and tell me I don't understand feminism. But after months of blogging and dialoguing with more feminists than I knew existed, I've had my fair share of experience with feminism and it's not a pretty picture. It's destroying individuals, marriages, families, children, churches, and this nation, in the name of "equality" and "choice." Feminism never takes into acount the future or future generations. Feminism lives only for me, myself, and I in the here and now.
As women of God, we cannot stand idly by while these humanistic philosophies corrode and corrupt our culture. Instead, let us fight for Truth, let us live Truth, let us love Truth... in our hearts, in our homes, in our neighborhood and to the ends of the earth. Let us show by our lives -- our love for the Lord, for our husbands, for our children, for our home-- that there is a better way. It's not about choice, it's about a relationship with the Lord, a lifestyle of poured out in service for the glory of God.
No matter what feminists say, their attitude says only one thing -- feminism is about selfishness. It's about me doing what I want to do, how I want to do it, when I want to do it, and nobody better tell me differently. It's about irresponsibility -- I want the freedom to not be bound by marriage, to sleep with multiple partners and use birth control or morning-after pills or abortion so I never have to worry about the consequences of my actions. And ultimately, it's about a sad, lonely life searching for fulfillment in things outside of Christ, marriage, motherhood, and home.
I just got The Politically Incorrect Guide to Women, Sex, and Feminism by Carrie Lukas today (No endorsement yet, look for a review in a few weeks.). Upon flipping open the first page, this statement caught my eye in light of some emails I'd gotten today from feminists:
The modern feminist movement isn't about women's equality. It's about an agenda designed to benefit a special interest group: women who will follow the professional feminist's idea of what a woman should want. To further this agenda, the modern feminist movement takes to the airways, Internet, and the print media, and walks the halls of Congress, the federal government, and state capitols to expand government, subsidize politically correct choices for women, and change our culture so that men and women become interchangeable. They also work hand-in-hand with liberal colleges to advance these goals.If feminists truly believed in choice and that motherhood is just as honorable a choice as a husband-less, child-less career, why would I constantly be badgered by so many feminists who say I'm not using my brain, I'm not reaching my full potential, and that I'm caged up in a prison (i.e. my home) scrubbing toilets and changing diapers? I'm not making this stuff up, I could post nasty email, after nasty email. But, I'll spare you those.
I used to think that feminism was a dying force -- something of the hippie generation which was going down in flames. Then I started blogging. For some reason, the feminists have been attracted to this blog in droves. It took me a few months to figure out what the deal was but I finally got it: feminists want stay-at-home moms to be cowardly housewives. As long as you shut up and scrub toilets, they'll leave you alone. But, if you so much as even insinuate that men and women might be different in some respects, they are waiting to pounce upon you and tear you to pieces. And how dare I say that cleaning and cooking and caring for babies is a mother's job? The worst "crime" of all to commit against feminism is to say that women need protectors.
Feminists often comment and tell me I don't understand feminism. But after months of blogging and dialoguing with more feminists than I knew existed, I've had my fair share of experience with feminism and it's not a pretty picture. It's destroying individuals, marriages, families, children, churches, and this nation, in the name of "equality" and "choice." Feminism never takes into acount the future or future generations. Feminism lives only for me, myself, and I in the here and now.
As women of God, we cannot stand idly by while these humanistic philosophies corrode and corrupt our culture. Instead, let us fight for Truth, let us live Truth, let us love Truth... in our hearts, in our homes, in our neighborhood and to the ends of the earth. Let us show by our lives -- our love for the Lord, for our husbands, for our children, for our home-- that there is a better way. It's not about choice, it's about a relationship with the Lord, a lifestyle of poured out in service for the glory of God.
posted by Crystal Paine at 6:34 PM
12 Comments:
Hey Crystal,
I've been reading your blog for some time and love what you have to say. I only wish I had had even a tiny bit of your wisdom when I was in my 20's. Though my undergrad degree was English, I had a Women's Studies' minor and was totally indoctrinated in lots and lots of garbage (though I completely embraced it at the time). I believed that I was free- that complete freedom entailed me the right to do whatever I wanted, with whomever, whenever. The choice was mine and no one was going to stop me. Well, long story short, He stopped me. It was heavy and dramatic and life-altering and there was no looking back.
I left all that behind, ended up getting a Master's from a seminary, marrying (I said I never would) and now have 3 little boys (also wanted no kids).
There's no freedom like the freedom I've found in Christ. Keith Green said "Jesus, You're the One, who set my spirit free," and he was so right. True freedom and choice come when we embrace our Maker and live our lives for His glory.
Wow! Amen to that Crystal!! I know you will get someone's back up with this, but I applaud your courage. I pray that the Lord will give me courage too, to stand up for Truth.
Blessings,
Sommer
Here!!! Here!!! I totally agree! Oh how the lies of the "F" word have even oozed into the cracks in the brains of Believers. Ack.
Just this evening while my family and I were out having dinner, a very nice woman who worked at the restraunt came up and was cooing over our new baby Isaac. She proceeded to tell me she had 3 sons, all 4 years apart. Then she proceeded to tell us she was active duty Army, but switched to National Guard status. I boldly (ok, well sort of) asked her about being scared of getting deployed and how she would handle it (I do believe she is a single mother). She stated "It's my job, and so I'll go if needed."
My little mind raced for a quick and thought provoking come back.... but alas I had none. Only the sinking feeling of sadness and frustration over this woman because she has been DUPED!!!!! LIED TO. MESSED OVER. She thinks it's "ok" to leave her children behind and fight a war? She thinks it's ok that the men stay behind snd take care of the children? whoa.
Then she proceeded to tell me that her son wanted to grow up and be a soldier "just like mommy." WAAAAA?????????? Did I here her right?????!!!!! Just like your mother???????
At this point I just smiled and politely changed the subject. What more could I say to a stranger.
I am so thankful to God that He has rescued me from the muck muck. I am no better than anyone else, but I am so glad not to be living a lie anymore and so very thankful for the chance He has given me to be a mother again. I am God's Soldier....the mother. No one fights more steadfastly and with more courage than a mother. Especially one who knows her place and her value. (and I don't even have to leave my children behind to do this job).
Here!!! Here!!!! To our God be the Glory!!!!!!!!!! :-)
I've always found it interesting that those who scream the loudest for CHOICE seem the most disgusted and repulsed by those of us who CHOOSE to live a life different from what they do. If they were really so concerned with CHOICE, they would stand firmly behind me and my CHOICE to be a wife and mother and homemaker. Instead, they do everything they can to tear down the lifestyle I have CHOSEN. You're right on, Crystal! Keep it up!
I love this post! It expresses my heart about feminism so much! I often think that if feminists were genuinely committed to choice, they would be just as upset that some women are forced into the workforce as they are about some women not having access to opportunities in the workforce. They have manufactured a world where most women still have to do the majority of the household work and childcare plus being expected to have paid employment. Thanks for writing a post I would have loved to write myself!
Amen, Crystal! God created women and men different for a reason and to accomplish things the way He intended. Thank you for standing strong against a movement that is truly dividing homes and families. Be Blessed!
Crystal, your terrific and brave words have me in tears . . tears of frustration for the lost women whose attitudes and decisions are hurting the world and hurting Him, AND tears of gratitude for the reminder that there are still women out there who will settle for nothing less than devoting themselves to Him with all their heart. Every time I visit your blog - and read comments from so many magnificent daughters of the Lord - I am reminded that I am not alone in my beliefs, my faith, and my path. THANK YOU.
Amen, Amen! Crystal, you are such an encouragement to me! You are a candle shining in the darkness, boldly proclaiming Christ's truths.
I'm only 16, but someday I hope to be a wife and mother. Thank you for unveiling to me the lies of feminism - for many years I have wanted to be a stay-at-home wife and mom, and I believed that it was the God-ordained role for women. But never did I realize just HOW AWFUL feminism was until I started reading your blog. Now I know without doubt that God has called me to stay at home, be a helpmeet to my husband, raise my children, *let my husband protect me*, etc, etc. The saying goes that "Behind every great man is a great woman" and that's what I want to be. I don't want to be "great" in the world's eyes, but I want to support my husband; create a haven of rest in our home for him to relax and be encouraged and strengthened so he can go out into the world every day strong to fight for the Lord. I want to support him so that *he* can be a great man.
Thank you for encouraging young women to be strong and faithful to the Lord, to wait for His timing in marriage, and to follow His plan for the role of women in marriage. Your blog is like a stream of cool water in a hot desert! Many of the Christian s I know (even the home schooled ones) talk about being stay at home wives and mothers, and yet their walk does not show that. They go off to college to get big degrees, get long-term jobs somewhere, etc. Anything but prepare to keep a home :) So I appreciate your like-mindedness here and that you are not afraid to talk about it. I even know some s that deep down in their hearts they truly want to be a keeper at home, yet they are so barraged with the world's lies about women and are despised for desiring such a "base occupation" that they are conforming to the world in this area. We need young women that are content (and eager!) to remain home under their father's authority, preparing for the day in which they will marry a Godly man and create their own home.
Okay, I'll stop my ranting and raving now, and get back to preparin al for my hungry father and brothers :) What joy it gives me to prepare a hearty and nutritious meal for them, and see their appreciation for a loving sister that would do that. I don't know why anyone would despise and look down upon such a satisfying occupation! :)
AMEN Cyrstal! I know you'll have raised the dander of more than a few feminists out there today. My prayers are with you!! Keep up the good work, keep up the wonderful blog and let the comments of the feminists out there roll right off your back.
BRAVO Crystal! Your post actually gave me the chills (the good kind :). We have to stand up for ourselves and tell it like it is. Thank you for doing to so bravely and truthfully!!
Leigh
Hello, Crystal,
I rarely read blogs unless they really grab my attention because I just don't have the time. I agree wholeheartedly with this one. It's sad that feminists are so obsessed with their worldview that they feel the need to seek you out and harass you. I would just caution against wasting much time in dialogue with them. It is tempting, I know. In the past, I've spent many hours being the lone voice of traditional Christianity in chat rooms; I finally realized that it was a waste of time...Satan was distracting me from living what I believed, because I was busy standing up for what I believe.
Kathy, thanks for your comment and I completely agree. That was the reason we have chosen to discontinue posting the majority of comments from feminists or those who strongly disagree with what is written on this blog -- Jesse and I just didn't feel that the dialogue and debate was productive. I'd rather spend my time promoting beautiful, Biblical womanhood, seeking to live out those principles which I believe, and warning Christians of the dangers of feminism.
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