Daycares don't care
Despite what Hirshmanites want you to believe, daycares don't care and they don't foster healthy living environments for children.
After 25 years in child care, Kristy Moeller says she sees more children exhibit behavioral and emotional problems than ever before.
"Children seem to be more stressed today," the director of Oak Park YMCA's Y-Care Children's Center said.
But while lots of child-care providers agree, no one knows exactly why. Most experts believe it's a combination of factors, including:
-Not only are there a record number of children in day care, they are spending more time there, some up to 10 and 12 hours a day.
-Children have greater stress with parents' higher divorce rates, more single parents and increased activity loads.More government funding or better child care workers is not the solution. We need more moms to be moms, more parents to put their marriage and family above career or personal fulfillment. After all, what could be more fulfilling than shaping the next generation? Careers, financial success, and personal achievements won't matter to you when you die anyway, so why wrap your life around them?
posted by Crystal Paine at 7:09 AM
16 Comments:
I don't have the so called 'perfect" life that sometimes across on this blog but I can agree on this.I worked in a Christian daycare for almost 3 years(yes I did work for awhile before children)and after doing this I promised myself I would never put any of my children in daycare.These children were so miserable and lacked much love and attention.At one time for 18 months I worked in the toddler room .I had 8 one year olders by myself after they woke up after naps.It was insane,once they started waking up I had to change diapers,give them snack,play with them and try to give them as much "love"as I could.I have always wondered how these children turned out.Many of them ened up coming from broken homes ,being spoiled because mom would be tired on Friday and would be bribing them by then to be good.The articles are right-daycares don't foster healthy living environments for children-even 'Chrsitian" ones that would teach the Bible,Christian workers that were allowwed to actually hug the children.It is sad when children do end up in daycare and sometimes it just happends.
I am reading a great parenting book right now. (It is the first one I have ever read, too.)
It is called, "It Takes A Parent," by Betsy Hart. It stresses the importance of parenting.
The writer is a Christian too. A Reformed Presbyterian, at that! You don't see many of them around. : )
Tammy, just wanted you to know that no one here is "perfect" - I hope you don't get the impression that I think I am, because I am most certainly miles away from perfection. However, I do think we should all be striving to live according to the principles found in God's Word. We should be actively pursuing righteousness and holiness and the fear of God.
Zan, I've heard rave reviews about the book and have been meaning to check it out. Now I really want to!
AMEN! Exactly why I came "home" from the workplace... We are committed to NOT leaving our children in a daycare!! You are so right, in the end, what does the career and money matter? It doesn't. Not one bit. What matters is that we fulfilled our God given roles as wives and mothers !
Jennifer R.
Ya,
The book was really good. I didn't agree with everything she does, but the premise of her book and what she is trying to share is right on.
I saw her speak on Book TV. She really is great to listen to. One sad thing is that she is recently divorced (she doesn't go into detail why, but she does stress that it was her husband's choice to leave the marriage after 17 yrs and 4 kids). Even though she is a single parent, now she still stresses the importance of family and parenting. I zipped through it in 2 days. A lot of the parenting advice was common sense. She also debunks a lot of the nonsense the "experts" have been telling us about parenting. It was a good read. I can't remember the last time I enjoyed a book that much.
Betsy Hart, also, writes a column in some paper. Her columns are online. I forget where, but if you Google her name you can find it pretty quickly. That is how I found out that she is a Reformed Presbyterian.
I noticed in my first post I said that I am (presently) reading this book. I am not. I finished it a few months ago.
Daycare is no place for a kid!
Crystal,
I am all for parents staying at home with their children. The reality is that there are many mothers who are choosing this option because they believe they don't have any other. I believe that the day care "system" is at fault here, not necessarily the day care or any of those who work there. In that system, they believe that they are doing a good thing. I do pray that their eyes will be opened to the truth of God's word.
Christy :)
Sometimes moms don't have a choice. Would it be great to stay home and take care of kids? Yes. Can we afford to, on just one salary? Absolutely not.
Norah
My sister-in-law worked at a day care before she became a mother. I recall the time she told me about her job, and how she didn't like the children there. She told me how angry they were, and how they didn't like being strapped into chairs. huh. When I asked about a particular child's name she told me that she couldn't remember their names, there were too many kids.
I told her that I'd be angry, too, if the only people I wanted to be with in my life left me someplace I didn't want to be.
Not surprisingly, when she became a mother she found that children do much better when kept close to mom and dad. :)
I have some friends with kids in day care and they claim the kids love going there. There may be some good ones. My own kids have LOVED preschool like crazy, so I know it is possible. But, it always seems sad to me that the child and parents are missing out on spending so much time together when their children are just little babies.
Norah: Thanks for commenting. I understand that not everyone can always stay home, but I do believe it is much more possible than most people think. My husband and I lived on $800-$1000/month for over 2 years and we survived just fine. Yes, it took work and planning and sticking to a budget, but we quickly learned that "when there is a will, there is a way." We prayed a lot, stretched, got really creative, learned to do without, eliminated unneccesities, and learned to appreciate what we did have. It was a wonderful two years and such a faith-building experience for us. You can read more on this by checking out the link on my sidebar to "How Big is Your God?"
With the advent of the internet, there is huge potential for those families who truly cannot live on one income to have mom work from home. I have been astounded at how much you can make from home just working a few hours per day. Plus, you save so much money by doing so.
If you are interested, I'd be glad to help you with some business advice/ideas. I love to help moms find ways they can earn an income from home without neglecting their most important priorities -- their home and families. I have written a few ebooks on this which I'd be glad to send you free of charge. I also run a Yahoo group specifically for women and young women. There is also a section of my website with WAHM ideas and encouragement. In addition, I often post on topics of frugality and home business.
God bless you!
Sometimes there is no alternative. I am a single mother, not by choice, who is a full time student. So yes, I am not able to stay home with my daughter. I AM extremely lucky to have a good relationship with my former in-laws and they watch her while I am either working or in school, so I haven't needed to put her in day care.
It is a blessing to be able to stay home with your children. Mothers, whether they are SAHM or have outside employment, need all the support/encouragement they can get.
Kim
I would also like to add that if God is speaking to you personally about staying home with your children, then He will provide all that you need. Trust Him.
Christy :)
I used to have my little ones in day care, before I was a Christian, and I am still astonished at the reality of the difference in the feelings one has on a daily basis toward other people's kids vs your own. You see, I had believed the lie that some people are more suited to being with kids all day.
In reality, I was quite able to bond with my little ones and enjoy all day with them. The trouble entered in when I tried to supplement my husband's income by providing day care myself. Those kids were cranky and unhappy, and so was I.
I also observed our former day care provider, as she went on to have more kids after that time. I had thought her very loving to my kids, but in contrast to how she treated her own? I will never advocate day care!
Some of my relatives that worked in day care will tell me often, "children should go to daycare as they need the structure. I realized from seeing children in daycare, I did not want that kind of structure for them.
A really good book about this subjct is called Home by Choice by Brenda Hunter. She was a single parent of 2 children, but when she did studies of how daycare affected children and their futures, she realized how very important it was for her to be home with them.
I know it is not easy, I have a disabled husband and 4 boys. But for me it worth it to make sure I spend the majority of my time with them and not 8 hours every day with someone who loves them perhaps, but will leave at the end of the day.
You're not going to believe this, but there's an enormous anti-daycare website with the exact same name as this post!:
http://www.daycaresdontcare.org
It's an eyeful!
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