For now, I'll bake bread (Edited)
Photo Courtesy of Better Homes and GardensIf a woman's "Place" is not in the home, then whose place is it? Is there a danger of having this wonderful arena for teaching, creativity and building family bonding, removed from us and being replaced by agencies outside of the family? My feeling is that the more you care for your home, the more you win the war that is being waged against the home and the family. Your example alone is a great encouragement to many lost young women who don't understand the potential of the house and the family.This paragraph at the end was especially convicting to me:
If such feelings can calm, refresh, or inspire us, then all the more essential to develop it in the home that you will spend so many days in. Make it the best. Make it better than any place you've ever seen. Make it work in such a way that you don't want to go "somewhere else" to get away from it all. Make it a place of order, beauty and relaxation. Home-keeping and home making is so vast that volumes could be written on the subject, as well as four year classes presented in Universities. The best training, of course, is growing up in a functioning home, but, failing that, there are many ways to learn. Just observe what you like in various homes and adopt them for your own.And then, I thought that this comment by Ladyfromthewoods was so good:
It can be harmful when we as homemakers feel as though we are under attack by those with different views and feel the need to defend ourselves. I have learned to "agree to disagree" with my friends and family who do not place as much emphasis on homemaking as I do, but refuse to debate endlessly with them. Instead, I have learned (the hard way) that to endlessly defend my family's position on my duty as homekeeper and mother as a full-time job only distracts me from my work and takes precious moments away from it.I think that sort of sums up where I am right now in my homemaking journey, or at least where I want to be.
If others continue to berate me and homemaking as a career that is valuable, I just let them rage on. I choose to turn away and finish the dishes and bake some bread and surround my family with love and laughter. They will not tear us down if we do not let them distract us from our mission in life.
I pray often for those people who have so little of importance in their own lives that they have few things better to do than to rip away at the good things that others have. It is a sad existance to be sure. I used to be one of them myself. How much happier I became when I quit trying to point out what I perceived as faults in others lives and focused instead on what was missing in my own.
Homekeeping is not only fulfilling to me but also gives inumerable benefits to my husband, my children, to our friends and family who visit, and anyone who comes in contact with us and walks away feeling blessed to be around such calm, happy, loving people. We are not complaining about the boss or the pay or the latest tragedy. We are happy and focusing on the good things in life. Ahhhh, it is a good life here and anyone who tries to convince me otherwise is just a drop of oil in an ocean of blessings.
As my husband and I were driving down to visit our families this weekend, we were reflecting upon how we've grown in the last year. It is always amazing to look back and see what a difference a year can make. It makes me wonder where I'll be in five or ten years. Maybe there's hope for me to be the Proverbs 31 woman yet!
I think one of the most important lessons I've learned this past year is that doing something is usually much more effective than debating about it.
When this blog started, there was a lot of debating about issues surrounding a woman's role and feminism. While I learned a lot in the process and definitely had my eyes opened to many things, after a while, I felt like it was not productive. I was spending so much time and energy defending what I believed, I didn't have a lot of time left to live it. I know that some people, especially those on the opposite end of the spectrum, miss the lively discussions we used to have on this blog. Honestly, I don't.
I'd much rather spend my days just being a wife, mommy, and homemaker, exposing the errors of feminism, and encouraging other women in their God-given roles. Maybe someday I'll take up debating again, but for now, I'll bake bread and wash dishes. It's much more fulfilling and enjoyable anyway.
Edit: Sorry for the incoherency of this post yesterday for those of you who read it and wondered. I think I was doing five things at once and didn't even go back to read what I had written - not a good recipe for well-thought-out blog posts. I fixed it and it is hopefully a bit more coherent. Thanks for your patience with me!
posted by Crystal Paine at 3:48 PM
4 Comments:
Very good points, indeed! Although I think that homemaking and childrearing can become raised to the level of idol worship as easily as any career...I also believe it is as valuable as any career. My mother was a top-rate homemaker and homeschool teacher to boot! Her loyalty to her family didn't always safeguard it, but the days I spent with her are a wonderful comfort to me now that she is gone. I have chosen the profession of teaching so that I can spend as much time with my children as possible if I should need to work later on. It is my solemn wish for women to unite instead of tearing each other down. Does the fact that a woman works make her less of a loving mother/wife? It does not! Does the fact that a woman stays home make her less capable or intelligent? Most certainly not! I'm afraid that these petty arguments will continue forever until we women stop the "I made a better decision than you" stance.
There is a time and place for debates. I agree that you don't get much accomplished debating. Now, with two little ones (Harry is sure a handful) I have no time for debates, really. I am way too busy keeping the house livable (notice I did not say clean, I still can't seem to organize this place).
I also think alot more can be gained by being an example than trying to explain something. everyone
That article was excellent, and exactly along the lines of what I've been thinking lately. It's always nice to get encouragement for our own thoughts, though! I have also noticed that the tenor of your blog has changed, and I visit here almost daily now because it is a blessing to me. (I don't have much time for debates! :-D) Thank you, Crystal!
Although I love debating (as you well know) I do much more enjoying making bread or aprons. It's much more relaxing and refreshing. Debate has played an important role in my life, in helping me form and make concrete my beliefs but I do much less of it now than I used to. I found like you that while I was talking about all these things I wasn't doing very much of them. That's certainly not good. . .
I love the homeliving helper blog!!
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