Input requested: Proper dress in the workplace?
Blog reader, Michele, asked if I could post a few questions for input from my readers:
While the home is the proper place for a Christian woman, there are some situations in which she has to work - being an older single (I'm 37) is one. I'm curious as to whether others have the same problems with dress in the workplace that I do. My office has a very casual dress code - shorts can even be worn. On the few occasions we have to dress up due to visitors, I very often get comments on my long skirts. It's usually things like, "You won't get a husband if you cover it all up!" So, as a result, in the summer, I wear cropped pants, as I get comments whenever I wear a skirt. What do others do in these situations?And my other question is this: circumstances in the current job (the above mentioned comments are part of an increasingly uncomfortable workplace) are making it very desirable to find another job. I've found some online postings that I will send my resume to over this weekend. Finances are tight right now and I really don't have what many term "proper" interview clothes. I only have my pink Easter suit with little ivory slingbacks - would this be too "frilly" and unprofessional? I'm a larger (2X) sized woman, and I've never been able to find anything in the thrift or consignment shops. I'd appreciate any input. -Michele
posted by Crystal Paine at 7:20 AM
10 Comments:
Before my daughter was born a few months ago, I worked at a fairly conservative office. I would imagine that going to an interview anywhere you would be wise to dress in a business-like, traditional way. Since you don't have the means to go out and buy a suit (and maybe the places you want to interview with aren't that conservative) I would suggest wearing a long skirt that is cut straight or A-line (rather than gathered or flouncy, if you have one) and maybe a coordinating light sweater set or simple blouse. A simple outfit like that is professional and doesn't distract the interviewer from your conversation and abilities.
I hope the interview process goes well and that you're able to find a job that you enjoy more!
Hi, I am a professional woman who tends to wear long skirts (based on comfort, however, not a moral belief).
I think it is highly inappropriate for co-workers to comment on your long skirts the way they have. I have never run into those types of comments before, and I am shocked that people would say things like that to you.
As for interviewing, I would agree that generally a pink suit is probably not the best idea. A pink suit, to me, implies a fun day out to a nice lunch or perhaps a day at church. While I am sure it is a beautiful suit, it does not imply office professionalism. I think Catherine's suggestion is just right: a long skirt with a simple blouse or sweater set (or a cropped jacket, if you have one) is perfect.
When I was working I used to wear long skirts too. I worked in a global company with many different people, mainly with creative/trendy marketing, design etc. ones, but also more 'conservative' managers and engineers. I think wearing a long dress offers lots of different options as well - you an choose between different styles that are still modest and beautiful. People always paid attention to my skirts and many women actually said they would like to wear them too but are not used to it or do not have courage to do it.
I agree with Catherine. When I go to interviews, I always choose dark, conservative, simply cut clothing. I don't have a business suit either, but clothing that is not loud in color or style and looks professional is just fine.
I completely understand your situation! I work in a corporate office where professional dress is mandatory, yet I am genuinely shocked at some of the inappropriate (read: overtly sexy) things women wear. And I've had to deal with comments like, "Aren't you really warm in that shirt/sweater?" simply because my necklines aren't as low as most women wear them, and I don't bare my shoulders. (I'm not saying I am better than anyone, obviously, but women know when they are dressing to attract attention.)
The best way I know to deal with it is to respond politely, saying something like, "No, I'm not warm at all - it's more my style to be modest." And adding a friendly smile takes away any implication that the other person is immodest.
My fiance told me when we first started dating that he loved the way I dressed and that I always looked "beautiful and classy." That, to me, made it ALL worthwhile. (Lord willing there will be plenty of time to dress "immorally" soon enough. LOL!)
I helped in an interview process and selection once for someone who would be in the office part of the time and out in the field making home visits other half. We were looking for someone who would work with children and we did notice their clothing. The one lady was dressed in a flowered dress and was a very prim and proper lady, stern and intimidating. The man we interviewed was very kick back with untucked shirt, long hair and open cuffs and the last lady was dressed in a solid business suit with accessories that were a little flamboyant and protrayed her personality.
We hired the last lady because she was neat, nice, happy and we felt she could sit on the floor with kids, but was not demonstrating a "I don't care" attitude to their appearance, yet were not a "Look at me, center of attention" look.
I think a simple dress or skirt and sweater/blouse is a good simple look. Do not go over the top, look professional without looking over done.
On the other topic, I recently had someone say to me, "I do not know how your legs look because I have never seen them." This is someone who knows me very well and we see each other all the time and lived in the house together. To me this was a compliment! I do not want people to "see" my legs and thighs. I have accomplished what I wanted to do.
I work full time and wear mainly skirts to my business casual office. I usually get compliments on my clothes, they are not particularly stylish, but always look neat. I stick with black or khaki skirts paired with nice sweaters in the winter and a button down shirt, a polo style shirt, or sometimes a nice fitted T-shirt. Since this is the south, I wear nice sandals in the summer, and clogs/tights in the winter. I make sure to always coordinate. That seems to help because I've been wearing the same clothes for the last 3 1/2 years. I understand tight finances, most of my clothes are from Ross, TJ Maxx, Wally or thrift stores.
At my last job interview (in house) I wore a long black straight skirt, and a white blouse. It must have looked ok, since I got the job! YAY!
So I'm with Catherine--a light sweater or blouse will probably do fine, unless you know that the place you are interviewing is very formal and everyone wears suits everyday. I'd stay away from frou-frou, floral and denim.
God bless you in the job search.
Hello ladies, this is Michele.
Thank you all for your comments. After I emailed Crystal over the weekend with my comments, I decided to check out the JcPenney website, where i had gotten my pink Easter suit. Turns out there's a great sale going on, and I was able to get a matching black blazer and skirt for about $100. I just sold my dresser for $75, so it pretty much evens out. I just hope it's delivered before I have an interview! :-)
I emailed my resume last night to a position I found on Craigslist.com and I received a call today from the company! This position is closer to home, in a nicer area, and in an area of my field I've wanted to do more in. :-)
Thanks for your prayers and good wishes.
The Happy Feminist, my office is totally politically correct, except for those trying to dress modestly or live a godly life.
Hello Michele,
I just changed jobs and had several interviews to attend before that. I vote with everyone else to forego the pink suit for something more classic and conservative. I wanted to encourage you with your job search. Having just started a new job I can say how much a difference having a good job can make. I changed my job partly for similar reasons you gave (i.e. office environment) although mine was related more to the attitudes of the peeople. I say, "Go for it." I think you will be amazed how much more relaxed and focused you will be.
I do want to affirm your decision to dress modestly. I rarely got comments for the particular way I dressed at work because most everyone wears scrubs and lab coats. You never know how your example may impact others around you. I always wear a t-shirt or shell under my scrub tops because some of them have low necklines. I noticed that a fellow co-worker began wearing t-shirts under her scrubs after a long time without. Before that you could see her bra and more! She told me once that it was because she was cold but I can't help thinking that maybe she realized how wearing something under her tops made her appear more professional and less likely to attract the wrong attention.
Anyway, I hope you are encouraged to keep doing what you know to be right. Pray that God will lead you to just the right job (and husband) in his time. I will be praying for your job search.
I can't resist commenting on a question relating to what to wear, but I really can't add much.
Michele, you have received excellent advice here, and I am so glad you found something (and that you are commited to modesty)!
Lydia, that is awesome that you were able to influence your co-worker that way. It's very encouraging to me, as I am seeing so much of the reverse in the church. Even my most modest friends are beginning to show cleavage and wear underwear for shirts, following the example of some of the more influential older women.
Crystal, if you think that last sentence inappropriate, don't publish this comment. Thanks!
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