From work to home - Part 4
This is the last post in our From Work to Home series. It is rather lengthy, but so worth the read. Enjoy! Thanks to the different women who contributed to this series. I know it has been a blessing to many.I haven't always been a stay-at-home mama. Once upon a time, I had a full-time job. One that I absolutely loved. That is, until I became a mother.
As a small child, I always wanted to be a nurse. I never wavered from that... from the age of 5 until the age of 18. My mama was a nurse (she was home with us as children) and I thought it the most glamorous position in the world. (Mama later got her master's degree and now teaches/is an administrator in a nursing program at a local college.) I was fascinated with science and the workings of the human body all throughout my school years, and excelled at those subjects.
Time flew, I went away to college, and obtained a bachelor of science degree in what else?? Nursing. So there I was, a single girl with a degree and the world at my feet. And I jumped in headfirst. I went to work on a cardiac unit, loved what I did, and couldn't wait to get to work everyday. Then, a friend and I embarked on a stint as travel nurses in
And then... in walks Prince Charming. To say I fell in love with Andy rather quickly was an understatement. I was in love with him before I met him. You see, I had prayed for him for so long. When I was in college (I went to a private Christian college) the girls on our floor did a bible study, and part of that study was to write down all the things that you desired in a mate and pray over them. And pray I did. I found the "original" list a few weeks before our wedding, tucked away in my cedar chest. I cried when I read it, and marveled at the faithfulness of our Lord. Andy was every single thing that I had written on that list. Every last one. The Lord had granted me the desire of my heart.
So, now I had a new love - my husband - and my career diminished in importance to me. We settled into our new home, became a part of a wonderful new church family, and I continued graduate school (full-time) and worked part-time in our local hospital. But work wasn't so much fun anymore. Oh, I still loved it, but many other things were on my mind and in my life. We prayed together for the Lord's direction for our lives, and shortly thereafter received an amazing surprise and blessing - two very bold lines on a home pregnancy test. We had been married all of about 5 months, I had a semester of grad school to go, and we were scared, but ecstatic at the same time. We both knew that this was all a part of God's master plan for our lives.
A new chapter was about to unfold, one that would bring many, many questions, tears, hours in prayer and "discussions". To work or not to work? What about my "new" degree? What about working full-time, part-time, not working at all? What were we to do about the TWO house notes we were paying (my house from my single days still had not sold). The future seemed so uncertain.
So, there we were - newlyweds, expecting our first, me in grad school, and those two mortgages - wondering what in the world to do. I finished grad school the end of May, and walked across the stage to proudly accept my diploma at 6 months pregnant. Hallelujah, I was through!! My sister finished law school the same weekend, and was going to work in the city where my house was, and so, you guessed it, she bought it! The perfect, perfect solution for all of us. The Lord answered our prayer, and we were thrilled I continued to work about two days a week that summer at the hospital and took my Certification Exam to practice as a NP (and passed!). We celebrated our first anniversary (with me 8 months pregnant) and laughed at the way our lives had changed in such a short period of time.
And then the blessed event happened that changed our lives forever. We became parents. Our precious, darling firstborn son Andrew made his arrival on August 26th. We came home, settled into a routine, and I fell in love all over again. This "new man" in my life had captured my heart totally and completely.
The discussion about working vs. staying home was revived and after much praying and soul searching, we decided for me not to take any type of full-time job, but perhaps something part-time. But as far as NP jobs went, there was nothing available for someone wanting to work maybe a day or two a week. Shortly thereafter, I received an offer from the nursing dept. of our local college. It was a job offer for teaching nursing students two mornings a week in the clinical setting. It required a master's degree nurse, but not necessarily an NP. We thought about it, talked about it, prayed it over, hashed and rehashed it, and decided for me to do it, since Andy was off on Tues. and Thurs. mornings (the exact mornings I would be gone) and would be home with the baby. I took my little part time job, had a blast teaching these tentative, scared students how to be good, competent, and confident nurses in the clinical setting, and things were great. I left at
I wish (oh, how I wish) that I could tell you that the story ended here. But it didn't. It took a long, ugly detour before I found my way home again.
You see, I began to worry. And fret. And question my (our) decision for me not to take a full-time NP job when I had worked so long and hard for that degree. I worried that I had been out of school almost a year and hadn't practiced. I worried that I would lose my NP credentials because I hadn't worked. I worried my husband. I just flat worried. And I quit trusting.
And the detour began. I took a full-time job as a NP for a group of cardiologists. I told myself that it would only be for a year, just to get some experience, and that if I didn't do it now, I would never do it (which was true). We put our precious baby son (who was now 8 mos. old) in the daycare at our church. The first day that I left him there, my heart was broken. What had we done? I cried a river that first week or so, but kept telling myself that I had to do this, and had to stick this out for this one year. I made it 9 months. I worked very, very long hours, took call on the weekends, and hired a maid to do the housework. I got that experience, all right. But at what price? I became an expert at treating patients, writing prescriptions, writing orders, looking at cath reports, you name it. But where my expertise was needed the most-- at home-- it was sadly absent.
We were living the American dream, right? I mean, according to today's standards, we had it all... I had a “perfect” husband, beautiful son, new home, new car, we had two great careers... and I had never been so miserable in all of my life. My son visited the pediatrician's office about 15 times during those months. He had ear infection after ear infection. He had tubes placed in his ears. He had bronchitis, upper respiratory infections, you name it. I began to wonder, what was the point of all of this? Why was I in this rat-race? How had I lost my way? We didn't need my income to make our monthly budget. Oh, of course it was nice for all the extras (that we THINK we need!) but our needs could be met without any contribution on my part. My husband and I saw little of each other (remember, my life was not my own, I even took calls on a lot of weekends), someone else was tending my home, someone else was raising my child, and I had ... a career. That I now hated. That I now dreaded doing. But I was oh, so determined to stick it out for that 1 year. And I began to pray. And God answered. In a BIG way.
Pregnancy and Pneumonia. We found out that blessing #2 was on her way into our lives and our hearts and we rejoiced. I became terribly ill with "morning sickness" (more like ALL DAY LONG sickness) and threw up at least four times a day. I lost weight. I wanted to sleep all the time, I could hardly function, and then little Andrew got pneumonia. He had a 104 fever the day I went to get him from daycare. I took my listless little boy to the pediatrician, X-rays were done, the diagnosis was given, breathing treatments and antibiotics were started, and I drove home.
I got home and just collapsed onto the floor with my little, precious 16-month-old son in my arms and wept and prayed. My husband came home, took one look at me, and told me that I was NOT going back to my job. That my career as a full-time NP was OVER with. Year or no year, I was DONE. He handed me the phone, and told me to call my employer right then to tell them I would not be back. I was too weak to argue, and deep down I knew he was right.
I dried my tears, called the office, and walked back into our kitchen a free woman! As sick as I was, and as sick as my baby was, I felt great. All of a sudden, it seemed as if the light broke through. God answered my cry for help, and placed me smack dab in the middle of where HE wanted me. Here at home. Being my husband's helper and #1 fan, cooking, cleaning, raising my babies, singing lullabies, reading stories, kissin' boo-boos, and doing exactly what I was created to do. And that was the end of the long, ugly detour.
Since that awful, dark time, God has been consistently faithful to us. My husband is now working at his "dream job"... being a full-time pilot. I could go on and on for pages about the ways God has blessed us and met our EVERY need. Didn't he promise us in his word that he would? That we never had to worry? Yet for so long, the peace and rest that could have been mine, I chose not to partake of... because I quit trusting.
I thank God everyday for his patience with someone like me. A selfish, strong-willed girl with a lot of lessons yet to learn (like dying to self everyday!!). He IS still working on me, and Oh how happy I am for that! And now I know that I am where he wants me. At home. I truly feel that this is my place. After taking the long way, I'm so thankful to be here.
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posted by Crystal Paine at 8:28 AM
7 Comments:
That was so worth the read! That is a wonderful testimony of God's faithfulness!
Wow! Okay, I admit it, I cried reading this. God sure has a way of bring us back to where He wants us. I am so happy for you!
Leigh
Jennifer,
Thank you for your article. We have some things in common. I was saved shortly after finishing a nurse practitioner program.
We are a couple paying the consequences of bad worldly choices and are working on getting out of debt. Thus, I work part time in the evenings as a registered nurse.
After I was saved I had no interest in working as a nurse practitioner. As you said most of the jobs are full time. Oh, I have seen a couple of jobs that were part time but they were in the day time.
My co workers think I'm crazy working PT as a registered nurse when I could be making more money. But no one could pay me any amount of money that would suffice. I would rather raise the children and homeschool them.
I graduated 4 years ago as a nurse practitioner and I didn't pursue certification but I do have the license.
I don't have any regrets about not pursuing it but of course, the debt is taxing and working in the evenings is tiring.
Thanks for sharing your story.
I read our blog and I see you're a MS girl. My parents are from a small town in MS and we have many family members that live in MS.
God bless you...
Karen
Hi Crystal,
My name is Aisha Hoffman and I want to say I love your journal. I have an important queston for you.
My question is regarding family pressure. My husband and I are very excited about starting a family soon. (well, children :-P ) Right now, I'm working as a special ed teacher. However, when we have a child, I plan to stay at home to raise him or her. My husband and I both know this is where God is calling me.
However, I feel a huge pressure coming from society and both of our parents to not only keep working but to delay pregnancy until I'm thirty and beyond. (I'm 22 right now).
My mother and in-laws are Christian. However,they don't necessarily believe in biblical roles for both men and women.
My question is, as a respectful daughter, how do I faithfully and gracefully defend my position on "being a manager of the home" and raising children. Is there a way for me to present scripture without over stepping my boundaries as an obedient daughter and not to mention as a person "young in the faith." (I accepted Jesus when I was a teen and was baptized just recently.)
Hi, Aisha!
Welcome! How exciting that you and your husband are desiring to follow the Lord and honor Him with your lives. In doing so, you will definitely not always receive the praise of men, as I'm sure you've already learned. However, do not let that deter you. Keep on, keeping on!
My advice to you would be to remember that you are first and foremost your husband's wife. You are to honor and obey him. You are no longer under your parent's authority and so while you should still honor them, you are no longer to obey them. Honor them by showing them love and respect, by caring for them, by seeking to involve them in your life, but stand strong in your convictions. Don't try to convince them as to why you believe what you believe. If they ask, have a loving answer prepared, but don't feel like it is your job to try and change their minds. That is God's job. Your job is to be faithful to honor and submit to your husband. By doing so, you will set an example before them which will probably be much more powerful than any words you could ever say. They might never agree with you, but that doesn't mean they don't love you. They probably just don't understand. They, more than likely, just want you to be happy, and they think that following the worldy path to success is the only way to happiness. By showing them the true joy you have in your life through following Christ, who knows how God may use that to turn their hearts towards Him!
Blessings to you!
Aisha,
Fertility doctors say there it is no guarentee it will be easy for you to become pregnant at age 30. It's easier at age 22.
Maybe you could just tell your parents and in laws that. Sadly, some respect medical advice more than God's word.
I myself didn't start until 32. I didn't have any fertility problems. But I have noticed that my energy level is much lower than friends at church who are in their 20s raising children. (I am now 38 with 3 children).
Your parents will come to respect you as the years go on as you make decisions in Christ. They will meddle less and less if you just respond with a short non passionate answer and a smile. They will come to respect you at some point.
I think it is a divine thing for a Christian couple to have children in their earlier years. What a blessing. I thiink parents tend to interfere more in your life when you are younger. This is a time of testing. Follow God's lead and His ordained means of leadership in a marriage: submission to spouse.
I too got all teary when I read this, as my recent life story is almost identical to hers. I went from MICU to a geriatric position to get that NP experience and only made it for just under a miserable year as well. The Lord rescued me from the workplace with the birth of our first son. I am so encouraged to read about Jennifer's experience. It is impossible to find affirmation from your peers for making the decision to stay home when you have a higher degree and lots of school debt! I am so thankful to finally be at peace, at home!
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