Hate mail always welcome
I get lots of interesting mail. Good, bad, and ugly, I've seen it all. It's part of opening up yourself and sharing about what you believe on the internet. I usually don't post much of my mail and I rarely post those I would consider to be more of the "bad and ugly" but two from yesterday were interesting, to say the least:
I am not writing to offend harangue or disrespect any one at BWH, I only want to ask you what you are doing. The females are slaves who don't own their own lives and bodies game that christian fundamentalist women are playing is endangering all females.You are cheapening our lives and that leads to more rape, pedophilia, and murder. Stop it. Stop now. It must stop. Crime against females is increasing sharply world wide; it is because of religious fundamentalism. I value my life so I insit you stop. -Unsigned email
Stop what? Stop saying that women are created in the image of God for His glory? That women are created beautifully unique and different from men to fulfill a beautiful purpose alongside men which neither could fulfill on their own? That women deserve something better than what the world has to offer? I guess I'm still shaking my head over how I'm cheapening women? Maybe someone could enlighten me? Or how "Christian fundamentalists" are to blame for the problems of the universe?
I could talk about how feminist ideologies have cheapened life for both male and female - through abortion, through contraceptives, through eliminating the distinct differences of men and women, but I won't go there. Instead, if this unsigned emailer is reading, I encourage you to read God's Word, you will quickly find the high value and worth that God places on women. He says that virtuous women are more valuable than rubies, they are to be treasured, cherished, loved, protected, and nurtured by their husbands. I encourage you to value your life enough to cry out for God's mercy and saving grace, to seek Him through the Scriptures, and to find the fulfillment, joy, and eternal life which comes from Christ.
This next piece of mail gave both Jesse and I a good chuckle:
Your husband by choice is sentenced 25 yrs to life with a frompy, homely, 90lb, baptist legalist. What did he do to deserve such a self inflicted punishement? He allowed all that legalism to be his god. -Anonymous
My poor, poor husband. Honestly though, what pictures are you looking at of me? I haven't been 90lbs since I was, gulp, like 14. And I most certainly hope (as does my husband) that we have more than 25 years of this, ahem, "bondage" because we're sure enjoying it.
I've learned to let things like this roll right off my back but I never can quite shake the sadness I feel in my heart for these people who have nothing better to do than to send these kinds of emails. It really seems like they must lead a miserable life if they have nothing better to do with their time than write emails like this. I pray for these people that the Lord would open their eyes to the truth, that He would show them His mercy, and pour out His compassion upon them. Only through Christ can they find life.
So, be my guest, keep the hate mail coming and I'll add your name to my prayer list, too.
posted by Crystal Paine at 2:41 PM
21 Comments:
If I may be the Devil's Advocate for a moment (not saying that I believe this point of view at all), but I heard a similar viewpoint this morning in my office. Someone had found an article online talking about an Amish girl who had been abused by her own family members. This person concluded that the reason she had been abused was that the conservative lifestyle of the Amish (not saying they've got it all right either) had taught women to be so submissive that the women thought that men had the right to do whatever they liked. Even if the men were clearly doing something wrong, women who protested would be "rebelling" against their authroity. Therefore, the conservative viewpoint was to blame for many women being mistreated. Perhaps, that's where the letter writer was coming from.
Yes, I just don't understand where anyone who has spent even a small amount of time here would think I am saying it's okay for a wife to be abused by a husband. As I've said many times before, if your husband is putting you in danger of bodily harm, get out, leave, take your kids, flee, turn him into the authorities.
Like Susan said in her post a few days ago, Biblical submission is about so much more than a wife honoring her husband. People seem to often only dwell on the submission part and miss the whole concept of what the marriage relationship is supposed to be about - a beautiful picture of Christ and the Church! Christ laid down his lfe for the Church and so ought men to do for their wives. I know my husband would in an instant.
It sure takes a lot of courage and class to slander someone and then not even sign one's name or offer the offended person the opportunity to respond. Sounds to me like these ladies need to take a good look in the mirror at their own lives because it seems to me that the attitudes which they espouse are the ones that are dangerous to women. Oh, and some spelling and grammar lessons wouldn't hurt either.
Crystal, I'll admit, you've grown on me. When I first started reading your blog, I found that I disagreed with your viewpoint on some things, but as I've continued to read and to consider the "other side", I find that I come away encouraged, even if I don't always agree with you. You are a gracious, mature, loving human being and a terrific representative of the Body of Christ. Thank you for putting yourself out there, hotpockets, waffles, aprons, no college and all for us!
Keep up the good work, Crystal!
I concur with both Crystal and imladris2...while we may not always agree with each other and what we say on our blogs, we're still one thing: sisters in Christ. That means we're supposed to build each other up in Christ, not tear each other down...
As the bible says, "a wise man builds his house on a rock...a foolish man builds his in the sand only to be washed away..."
That second comment was funny, you old and ugly hag!
The e-mail was either from a man who has a twisted view of what physical and spiritual beauty is or from a woman who is jealous because you are physically, spiritually beautiful and you are happy!
I'm thinking it was from a guy. Just seemed like that is something an unhappy guy, who wouldn't know true beauty if it slapped him in the face, would write. It also wreaked of jealousy. Probably jealous that your husband has such a wonderful wife. ; )
Wow, those were horrid! You handled it beautifully. I admit I don't agree with everything stated by some contributors and/or you, but I always respect your opinion and it makes me think harder about what I do believe. Iron sharpens iron.
You are right these people need our prayers! What a sad lot they are. They sounds bitter, ignorant and jealous. I will pray that God reveal their true attitudes to them and that they have the heart to repent and change.
Keep up the good work, Crystal. I can't even express how much I have benefitted from your blog. I have grown in ways that I didn't know I could or needed to. Someday, God willing, I will be a truly loving, submitted helpmeet to my husband. A husband I will obey and respect (the feminist are cringing!) :)
From a former/semi feminist, thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Leigh
Also, I have to say that I find it interesting that the first e-mail insisted that you stop what you are doing.
What happened to freedom of speech? Why is always freedom of speech, but only if you agree with them?
Just another thought.
One thing I always have to remind myself of, is that anger is usually a reaction to deep sadness. When I see comments like that I always wonder what is going on in a person to make them do or say such things, and like you said I feel badly for them.
Also, I hope you don't take these hateful comments to heart. You are a beautiful person both inside and out. Just laugh it off, and keep them in your prayers.
Yes, I can attest to the truth - Jesse IS in bondage and Crystal threw away the key. Poor, poor Jesse. You would think too, since Crystal is only 90lbs, that he could somehow escape....but, then too, she has proably brain washed him with pancake batter.
Run Jesse RUN!!!!!
P.S. Love you guys!!! :-)
Cheryl - you are way too funny! :) I was laughing out loud. Hey, weren't you going to call me this week so we could go get our hair done? Since I'm so frumpy and homely, I could use all the help I can get. ;)
I wanted to respond to the comment that conservative fundamental Christianity is the reason for the victimization of people. As a former social worker, I am very aware of vicitms perpetrators seek out. It has nothing to do religion causing a person to submit to such abuse. I have seen women and girls of all walks of life and every religion under the sun submit to such abuse. As long as we live in a fallen world there will be this kind of evil and the evil of displacing the blame of sin on Christ or Christianity. No matter how sassy, spunky or bilegerent a woman is she can still be a victim of crime. In fact, the more beligerent women end up dead. There was an example in the media not long ago of a mildly Christian woman praying for her perpetrator and he let her go. Satan will continue to try to use fear to keep women from embracing the beautiful God given role of submission. It is so sad. I am with you Crystal. I know they are not attacking you and twisting what you say but attacking God and twisting what he says. As a former feminist, I know the bondage and slavery that comes with this distorted thinking. I also know the freedom that comes from not living a life of fear and following God's will for leadership and authority. I am so sad when people allow sin to blind them and they can't experience the inexpressible and glorious joy tied to doing what is right. Keep up the good work!!
I wonder why, oh why "anonymous" takes the time to read your blog?
You know, we're all in bondage, one way or another. I'd rather be "in bondage" to my Lord and family than to my bitter, wounded spirit.
Keep going, Crystal, we like you!
Rhonda
Ladies, I'm sorry, but between the "angry" e-mails and the responses, I couldn't stop laughing. And I know that's terrible of me, considering I should have been praying for the two anonymous e-mailers instead of chuckling. But I couldn't help it . . especially by the time I got to, "Run, Jesse, run!" ;-)
Coincidentally, this weekend, during Mass at my fiance's church, the priest's homily was actually all about "submission" and everything it encompasses (exactly what you mentioned here, Crystal.) And he was getting so excited that his voice was rising and he had a huge grin on his face and he raised up his hands and said, "Can you imagine? A HUSBAND is CHRIST to the wife. That means he has committed himself to nothing less than dying for her. Isn't that tremendous? Is that not true love?" It was so moving. My fiance looked at me, smiling, and my heart danced inside me at it always does when he looks at me. I felt like the most blessed person in the world - all because I have learned to accept the will of the Lord with joy and gratitude. And I would not trade the peace He has given me for all the earthly treasures in the world.
Let's hope I (and all of us) can always find the strength to truly follow His Word (including you, anonymous e-mail authors.)
Hope everyone has a beautiful day.
LOL, Cheryl!
Crystal, don't you dare ever stop what you're doing. ;-) We'll fatten you up somehow; we'll get your hair done; we'll schedule an Extreme Makeover.
This calls for a fundraiser...
You forgot to add that you are not homely. You are quite beautiful. Your husband is blessed to be in bondage with you : )
Like you, I don't take their comments personally.
Instead, I find myself pitying feminists. They seem to spend their lives guarding their own backs because they don't trust anyone else to look out for their needs.
What a sad and lonely existence!
The first thing I noticed about both e-mails were that they sounded so angry & panicked. I think that when people react that way to something it is b/c they are not at peace with their own position on the subject, so they get defensive. Maybe there is hope for them yet?
Either way, I'm not sure what your weight had to do with anything??? It is hard to take someone's argument seriously when they bring up things that are not only totally irrelevant, but incorrect.
Very well said, KSMilkmaid.
Crystal,
I really enjoy your blog, keep up the great work, and ignore the naysayers. You are an inspiration to me, and if I must say, your husband is very lucky to have you as his wife! I think that a lot of the feminists want to use a few perverse examples of extreme bondage that none of us decent Christian women endorse. I mean, no decent woman is going to advocate, say, an abusive situation or pedophilia. Those situations are immoral, and the last time I checked, the Bible was pretty much against immorality(!), as should be Chrisitians.
Valerie
What a neat way to look at such awful emails! Frumpy and homely? Those are some of the last things I would think from the pictures I have seen of you, Crystal! I could see the 90 lbs one because I figured you were close to my size and I am close to that weight so I guess that was a nice compliment!
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