Is chivalry dead?
The Rebelution has a great post up on the Modern-Day Gentleman. Here's the opening:
For decades gentlemanly behavior has experienced decline. Not only are men becoming less apt to offer service, but ladies are much more likely to refuse it. A man gives up when his assistance is consistently shunned and so does the poor lady left sitting in the car waiting for a gentleman to open the door.I loved their appeal to ladies:
In an attempt to remedy this sad situation I could, as many do, lay out the rules of basic etiquette, encompassing the obvious doors, chairs, boxes, bags, and other such practices. Yet while all of these now uncommon courtesies are admirable they are merely signs that one is a gentleman or lady, not the means of becoming one. And as such a mere review of the appropriate actions is unlikely to cause lasting change.
You see, gentlemanly behavior is an attitude of heart, not a set of rules. Once the proper mindset is attained opening doors, offering chairs, carrying baggage, and the like become merely the predictable consequences of the changed attitude, and become voluntary rather than compulsory.
Now, I appeal to the ladies, and especially to my sisters in Christ. If you don't embrace your role as the recipient of our consideration we cannot act effectively as the gentlemen. You can show your care and serve your brothers by making it possible for us to become the kind of men God wants us to be.Read the whole article.
Give us opportunities to do the right thing. We may need subtle hints such as, "Will you open the door for me please?" You know we need to be reminded sometimes. And when you can see us trying, please encourage us and allow us to serve you. If our actions are made from a servants-heart don't take it as implying that we don't think you can open the door or carry the box. You may not need our help, but we need to help. Please don't take your side of this process lightly, your response is just as important, as our initiative.
posted by Crystal Paine at 9:27 AM
5 Comments:
Good post:o)
Chilvary is alive and well in my house. My husband still opens the doors for me and we will be married three yrs next month. His dad still opens the door for his wife and they've been married 50-some yrs. My husband plans to instill n our boys chivalry.
I know a lot of feminists would suffer heart failure if they heard that we are more severe when our son hits a girl than if he hits a boy. Though, he is only two, we are starting to impress that it is bad to hit, especially girls.
Thanks for the link...It's been awhile since I have visited the Rebelution. Wonderful article!
Does this mean women are supposed to stand in front of a closed door waiting for a guy to open it? I am flattered when a guy opens a door for me or carries a package for me, but why stand around and wait for him to help?
Anonymous...no no no.That would be silly! But if a gentleman is present, he should be willing to help. If I'm on my own, I open my own door :) Otherwise, as my husband says, thats "his job."
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