Is this normal?
I have a very juvenile question for all you professional mommies. You see, I used to be able to sleep like a rock - and I mean a rock. I'd hit the bed and wouldn't wake up until my alarm clock jolted me out of my complete peaceful oblivion.
Then I got pregnant. Everyone knows normal sleeping patterns are anything but normal when pregnant. Then I had Kathrynne. And everyone knows any kind of sleep you get with a newborn is to be considered good sleep.
That was all good and well. To be expected, even. I was happy to be a pregnant mommy and happy to be the mother of a newborn. Sleep or no sleep.
But, since I was still nursing Kathrynne up until a few weeks ago, she usually woke up at least one or two times every night - sometimes three or four times. Now that she's weaned, she's sleeping very well at night which I'm thrilled about. Problem is, I'm not. I assumed that as soon as Kathrynne started sleeping well through the night, I'd go back to sleeping like a rock. Well, that is, until my next pregnancy. But, I seem to have forgotten how to sleep through the night. For some reason, I wake up multiple times.
I thought maybe it would just take a few days for my body to adjust but it's been two weeks and I'm still waking up incessantly at night. Is this normal? Is this a mom thing?
I'm not complaining, I'm just curious. Any insight or experienced wisdom for this novice?
Then I got pregnant. Everyone knows normal sleeping patterns are anything but normal when pregnant. Then I had Kathrynne. And everyone knows any kind of sleep you get with a newborn is to be considered good sleep.
That was all good and well. To be expected, even. I was happy to be a pregnant mommy and happy to be the mother of a newborn. Sleep or no sleep.
But, since I was still nursing Kathrynne up until a few weeks ago, she usually woke up at least one or two times every night - sometimes three or four times. Now that she's weaned, she's sleeping very well at night which I'm thrilled about. Problem is, I'm not. I assumed that as soon as Kathrynne started sleeping well through the night, I'd go back to sleeping like a rock. Well, that is, until my next pregnancy. But, I seem to have forgotten how to sleep through the night. For some reason, I wake up multiple times.
I thought maybe it would just take a few days for my body to adjust but it's been two weeks and I'm still waking up incessantly at night. Is this normal? Is this a mom thing?
I'm not complaining, I'm just curious. Any insight or experienced wisdom for this novice?
posted by Crystal Paine at 9:20 PM
33 Comments:
Dear Crystal,
I think you may be the first mother I've "heard" that also nursed an older baby that continued waking up nearly every night until they were weaned. All three of mine did the same thing.
I personally went back to sleeping like a rock at whatever point I decided that they were okay and really didn't need me at night. Unfortunately, that didn't always keep them from waking Daddy.:^) Of course,I still wake up very easily when I hear anything out of the ordinary,like a bad dream upset.
Not a mommy yet, but you're on a sleep schedule, whether you like to admit it or not. It will take YOU a while to wean yourself from waking up with the expectation that now you have to nurse.
Try taking a nice warm bath with some bath salts (my favorites are the eucalyptus and mint salts from walmart...cheapo 3 bucks for a huge tub) and snuggling up on the bed with a cup of warm herbal tea.
Or take the bath, and have Jesse rub your feet with some nice lotion. Either option always works for me. :)
Good luck, and DO NOT STRESS ABOUT NOT SLEEPING! You'll have an even harder time sleeping. Just R-E-L-A-X.
Oh, and saying a bible verse, or a grouping of my favorite verses helps me sleep. Between the Lord's promises for me and the repetition, I'm out cold!
Good luck my dear.
My DS didn't really start sleeping through the night until after I became pregnant again, but I have always had a problem with waking up in the night ever since he was born. He'd be sound asleep and I'd wake up several times. I think its perfectly normal.
Of course, now I wake up every hour to use the loo or turn over. Me and my big belly ;-)
I'm so excited that my comment seems to have taken. Yours is the first blog I've ever read regularly and I've tried to leave messages before without success. I really enjoy your musings,Crystal. You've been a great encouragement to me, and I tell all of my wired friends about my favorite blog. :^)
You'll never be the same. :)
I wake up multiple times in the night anytime my 18mos old sleeps through the night. He was on his way to being weaned but then he got sick and was teething so we're back to breastfeeding again. Do you have any weaning suggestions?
Thanks!
Crystal~
This is normal! Ever since my eldest was in my womb, I've stopped sleeping well(she is almost 7). When she started sleeping through the night, I still woke up fairly often...but as time went by, I woke up maybe once or twice. Sometimes it is because I heard something, but I think it is just the mommy instinct. Probably as the weeks go by, you will only wake up once or so....until baby number two ;-)
Blessings,
Sommer
Hi I find that taking a calcium/ magnesium supplement helps me to sleep deeper.
I'm afraid to tell you this, but you might never have the kind of sleep that you used to. I, too, used to sleep like a rock. After I had my first baby, I eventually went back to having a reasonably solid sleep every night, but with the somewhat frequent wakings (teething, or bad dream, or whatever) a few times a week, I don't really get that much really good sleep. We have two now, expecting our third, and the only way I'm able to make it is to be in bed by 9:30 and take a nap in the afternoon. At least lay down. My mom says that she hasn't had a really good night's sleep since she had children! Hopefully that's not the case for you :)
I would usually wake once in the night, get up and go to the toilet and check on the children but at the moment am still breastfeeding my 21 month old if she wakes in the night so I am woken rather than waking myself. If she sleeps through I usually sleep through also but wake up earlier than I normally would.
Then after a few days of getting a full nights sleep I am back to waking once in the night.
I think it is probably normal as your body is used to waking. Do you feel exhausted? Maybe you are getting enough sleep anyway and it will just take time to get used to sleeping through again. I feel exhausted with this night waking so have no problems sleeping through if my daughter does occasionally.
My other 3 children were all fully weaned by 14 months and sleeping through by 9 months so it is quite different for me to have this little one still waking and nursing.
Ahh, I have the same problem! My daughter has been sleeping through the night since she was about 3 months old (bless her!) but I still wake up a lot. At least I'm not at an office, so when she naps in the afternoon sometimes I can get a nap too. Except then the house doesn't get as clean, so it's not too often that I indulge in a nap!
I can't speak as a new mom but as one who has frequent difficulty falling or staying asleep, I have a few tips that may help.
Go for a walk nearly every day in the morning. This sounds like it wouldn't relate to sleeping patterns, but it really does work. If I have had a 15-20 minute walk early in the day I have a much easier time sleeping through the night.
If you do wake up and can't fall asleep within 15 minutes, get up. Usually your body is not ready for sleep and you need to get up and do something to make you sleepy. I'm bad about following this. I usually lie awake in bed for a good long while before I actually get up.
Sometimes I have trouble falling asleep because I have so many thoughts rushing through my mind. I am more of a night owl by nature and sometimes my mind is so active at night that it takes me awhile to unwind for sleep. If you are thinking of things for the next day or things you have to do, write them down. It helps get it off your mind and you can sleep easily knowing that your list will be waiting for you in the morning.
Read the Bible and pray. Reading greatly helps me fall asleep and thinking on God's word is a great encouragement before falling asleep.
Don't drink much before you go to bed. If I drink a big glass of water before going to bed, it is certain I will wake up to use the bathroom. I almost always wake up at least once anyway, but if I drank a lot this makes it even more. I think a have a smaller bladder than most people so that may be part of it. :)
That's about all I can think of. Crystal, you probably practice most of these habits anyway, but I thought I would share them for what they're worth. :)
And yes, sleeping is based on patterns so it may take awhile for your body to adjust to not needing to get up and nurse. I hope you will be sleeping through the night soon. I'll be praying for you to starting resting easier. :)
~From a fellow frequent, awakener
I haven't slept well since I had my kids, but that's not necessarily their fault. One thing that has helped me quite a bit is a supplement called 5-HTP. It helps with seratonin levels, helps me fall asleep. The best thing about it though is that if I need to wake up during the night, I'm not a big groggy. I stay asleep during the night if I don't have someone who needs me during that time:) I get it through my dh's office (he's a chiropractor) but I'm sure it would be at any health food store.
It took a long time for me not to feel "on guard" at night. You might try earplugs, if Jesse is willing to be "ears" for you should Kathrynne wake up. Just knowing that he is listening for her might help you sleep better.
maybe you are pregnant :)
This very thing has happened to me. I think I was so used to getting up in the night, that I hadn't learned to relax again. Then, I began to fret and look at the clock and begin thinking that I wasn't going to get any sleep. This went on for about a year.
The thing that helped me most, was to stop worrying about it. I just read something (sometimes something deep, like The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment) and I told myself that the Lord knows how much sleep I need and He will give me it. I also told myself that I was fortunate to be a stay at home mom because I could catch sleep during the day if I had to. These things relaxed my mind and I began to fall asleep easier. I tried not to nap the following day and do the same routine every night. I just concentrated on taking the pressure off. I had even resorted to sleeping prescriptions before telling myself that even this is in God's hands. If I woke up in the night, I would just assume God wanted to talk to me, so I prayed and thanked Him for this quiet time together. I hope this made sense and it will be some help. Thank you.
I had the same problem after three of my kids were weaned (still nursing baby #4). I used Johnsons Bedtime Bath and Lotion, a white noise machine or a Rolling Thunder CD set on repeat. I'd drink Sleepy-Time tea from Celestial Seasonings. A soothing back rub worked great too. I found once I got to sleep good, I didn't wake as often (except for crying and little footsteps!). Try doing for yourself what you do for Kathrynne to get her to sleep. Good Luck!
You'll either learn to function on broken sleep, or you'll go back to sleeping like a rock soon. Personally, I wake often during the night also, and it catches up with me and a sleep solid about one night a week. I've been a super light sleeper ever since I had my 1st baby almost nine years ago. I guess my body just got tuned in to listening for those nursing-baby noises, and I never recovered, lol. My husband can't hear anything at night short of bloodcurdling screams.
It is normal. I have an eight year old, five year old, and two year old. I still wake up during the night to check on them. I have ever since my first pregnancy over eight years ago. I think as you adjust to your daughter sleeping through the night that you will not wake as frequently.
Blessings and "Sweet Dreams", Amanda T.
This is interesting to me as a first time pregnant mom. I haven't slept through the night since getting pregnant, and I know not to expect to do so anytime soon. ;-)
Don't worry! You are perfectly normal waking up several times at night! Your body was on a schedule and is used to being awake. It will take a while for your body to get used to sleeping through the night but it will come... eventually.
Before my son was born, I could sleep through anything (including an earthquake!). My son is now 10 and my sleep has never gone back to what it was. Maybe it will some day, or maybe it won't. As long as you are getting the sleep you need, and not walking around half asleep all the time, then why worry about it?
It's takes a woman's body a while to adjust to a new schedule. There are a lot of hormone flutuations going on with you now that you've stopped nursing and also it's just the fact that you've trained your body to get up through the night. It does take time and for me it seemed to get worse after each child. The thing that worked for me was just wearing myself out for a day or two. No naps through the day and physical activity. Regular exercise will help your body regulate it's hormones and also help you to rest better when you do sleep. If I miss my morning walk, I usually don't sleep well that night.
It may be partly due to hormones as your bodies production of hormones is different until you wean. Personally I did not sleep well when my children were little and they are good sleepers. My son is now 5 and my daughter is 8 and I'm just now feeling like I sleep in that really deep way you describe. That is good advice that you shouldn't worry about it or anxiety over sleep can keep you from sleeping as well. You will adjust and you will sleep better soon!
My mom says the night she finally got my little brother married off is when she was able to sleep agian. 23 years is along time to go without a good nights rest.
Crystal,
This happens to me periodically as well. I've done several things. I won't list all the "other" things, just my last-ditch-effort-I've-got-to-get-some-sleep-or-I'm-gonna-go-crazy solution. Tylenol PM. If I take it for one or two nights it seems to help my body adjust back into a sleep cycle and then I'm fine.
FYI...the "PM" in Tylenol PM is nothing more than good, ole' Benadryl.
Hope your back to your old "rock" sleeping self soon! :)
Wow! Lots of responses... I don't know whether that is good or bad. But at least it made me feel better to know I'm not the only one who's experienced this before. Thanks for your encouragement and suggestions!
As far as weaning tips, I can't say I have a lot, I just prepared Kathrynne by mentioning in the few weeks before that "Mama's milk was going bye-bye" - how else are you supposed to explain it to your 19-month-old? :) And then tried to have her down to one feeding a day the week I stopped. I tried to come up with creative diversions for at night and in the morning when she usually would nurse and also tried giving her a bottle of warm soy milk at night and had her eat pretty much first thing in the morning when she got up. This didn't seem to help much but at least I tried. :) I also tried to give her lots of love and cuddles throughout the day and spend special time with her doing things I might not normally sit down and do everyday. For myself, I drank a LOT of "No More Milk" tea which I got from www.NaturalBaby.com - this seemed to help. And I just tried to take it easy for a few days. It wasn't the greatest time, for sure, but we survived and Kathrynne seems to have pretty much completely adjusted.
Anyone else have tips or thoughts on weaning to share?
Just a suggestion...I'm no expert. Perhaps you're waking up partly from habit and partly because you are actually getting more sleep now than you were before. I know that seems kind of strange, but after our boys stopped waking up to feed through the night, if they did wake up for other reasons and I had to get up to them, I still got more sleep than when I had to stay up to feed them. And although my sleep was broken and I almost never get a full one-end-to-the-other night of sleep, I don't get as tired as I did back 'then'.
If you're waking up, but aren't getting really tired through the day, it's probably just .... whatever!
As for weaning....one little piece of information I am learning even now is that it isn't any easier the third time round!
Perfectly normal. I had the same problem when each of my three children began sleeping through the night. I was used to getting up at certain times in the night so I woke up whether I needed to or not. It took about a week or more for me to adjust.
Crystal,
I have never slept well since having my first child 24 years ago.
My children are now 24, 22, 20 and 18. When my children were small--it was wonderful to take a nap at my mom's on Sunday afternoons, the closest I would come to "sleeping like a rock." I usually just pray and as terrible as it may sound, it will put me back to sleep!
mrstlc
My kids are older too, and my sleep patterns have changed. They change and adapt over the years, but as mothers we are always ready to meet a need or (hopeully not!) a crisis, even in the middle of the night. I really think that this is part of how God created us. We are created in His image, and He is always ready for our needs...as mothers and nurturers of our children we are ready for theirs. I do get adequate rest, but I often wake up in the night. Sometimes I still look in on the kids (ages 21, 18, and 14) and sometimes I don't, but I think what you are experiencing is perfectly normal. Having said all this, I don't awaken every night, and I trust God to wake me if there ever is a genuine need that requires my attention. I'm convinced that our sleep patterns change with the different seasons of our lives. Hope this helps!
Crystal,
I just have to chime in on what Mariah has said. While I still have younger children, I've always considered this change in sleep patterns more of a gift from God than some kind of abnormality. I had a big space between my 2 youngest children (5 years). I did end up sleeping "harder" as my youngest got older, but then a new baby came, and it's back to the "gift" of lighter sleep. I have never felt like I wasn't getting adequate sleep though...praise be to God for that! With all that said...it's completely normal. It's a lot of fun to hear you talk about those first time mother things...brings back wonderful memories and lots of smiles!
Blessings to you and your sleep! ;)
Amy
I can totally relate. Once you've started a pattern of waking up constantly your body eventually starts to accept it and do it automatically. I finally got back to sleeping through the night myself (!), it just took my body a while to get back into a good sleep mode. (Although I am a lighter sleeper than I was before.)
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