Calling all stay-at-home wives and mothers
This comment was posted recently and I thought perhaps some of you stay-at-home wives/mothers would be willing to help answer it:
For some of my thoughts and experiences, see this post: Recapture the Nobility of Home.
Update: Thanks to Dollymama for reminding me of a not-too-long-ago post question of a similar vein. There are some great thoughts posted here: Doing nothing? We can always use more ideas and encouragement and personal thoughts/experiences in this regard!
I was just wondering what exactly what a stay at home wife does when she has no children? I am absolutely for women being keepers at home - please do not think I am trying to say something negative. Besides the Bible, cleaning, menu-planning, cooking, and childcare what else do I need to know for the future? Would someone please post what their day is (or was) like before they had children? Are you really too busy to get a side job? I've heard too many people say that stay-at-home moms just sit one the couch watching T.V. Is that the case? -BiancaIf you are a stay-at-home wife and/or mother, would you be willing to share some of the things you do in a day? I'd especially like to hear from stay-at-home wives who do not have children. For those who do have children, what do you wish you had known before you had children? What kind of advice would you give to a young woman who wants to wisely prepare herself to be a keeper-at-home? Any and all input appreciated.
For some of my thoughts and experiences, see this post: Recapture the Nobility of Home.
Update: Thanks to Dollymama for reminding me of a not-too-long-ago post question of a similar vein. There are some great thoughts posted here: Doing nothing? We can always use more ideas and encouragement and personal thoughts/experiences in this regard!
posted by Crystal Paine at 1:27 PM
10 Comments:
We were married for 2 years before we had any children. I wouldn't say I was "too busy" to get a side job during that time, because I could have sacrificed nice meals, spending time with my husband, and helping others, in order to earn that extra paycheck. I did teach some private music lessons from the home, but for only a couple hours a week, and as a ministry for the most part. (For example, one student was a Christian girl from a family of 12 children, and she would come and help me with housecleaning in exchange for her lesson. I didn't do this because I NEEDED the help, but because she couldn't afford lessons.)
There are so many things a woman could do, even without trying to earn money from home. Besides the basic cleaning and cooking, smart shopping/menu planning, going to garage sales or thrift stores (again, to save money rather than just buying everything new), and helping her husband, what about helping others?
We regularly had guests into our home (and still do, though we have 2 children now) and I would prepare a nice meal for our times of fellowship. This was once or twice a week. I would also try to help other ladies, usually ones who had many small children, or ones who were injured, just had a baby, etc. by going ot their home and cleaning for them, or taking them a meal. Moms really appreciate the help, and I know several people have told me, "Everyone else just wanted to talk and hold the baby... thank you for sweeping the floor for me!" or thanked me for giving them a little "boost" when they were feeling overwhelmed. :)
Now, I have two children (2 and 8 mo.) and it's not as easy to get out and help others. I do take meals to people occasionally, but helping with housecleaning is trickier. ;) Every season of life has different ministries and avenues for blessing others, and I think there are many opportunities to serve others (and of course, serving our husbands in every area first!!) if we just look for them. :)
~Tammy
I have recently left my career in the legal profession to be a SAHW and to operate our home-based businesses. We have no children yet and have been married 6 years. I got married while still in college and was a full-time student for the first 2 years of our marriage until I graduated. During that time, due to my heavy class load, I was unable to work outside the home.
When I was not in class, I spent time not only taking care of household responsibilities (which took up a great deal of time), but I also did a lot of personal Bible study. I devoted myself to Bible study and prayer. My husband and I also talked a lot about our dreams for the future and sought God for direction in our lives. As God gives you both direction, he will also guide you into how to walk out His plan for you. This will ensure that there are no idle moments, I can assure you.
My advice to SAHW is to seek God with your husband about the plan(s) he has for your lives. This is a great time to really settle what you believe and why you believe it. My husband also has a dream for owning his own business. Now that I have left the career world, I am able to devote myself to taking our part-time business and turning it into a full-time operation.
Also, I use what little free time I have for daily exercise. This is an important way to honor God with our bodies and keep ourselves in good health. I can say from experience that when you are walking out God's plan for your life, there really aren't any idle moments.
I was a stay at home wife for a little over a year before our first baby was born. I sold things on a commission basis on ebay for others as well as myself. My husband is a minister so I took extra time to visit those from our church who were in a nursing home, wrote encouraging notes and cards to shut-ins, visited those who were in the hospital. Made meals for new mothers. I also worked on my large garden, sang in the choir and taught Sunday school. Now that I have an infant I don't have much time for the garden and I no longer sing in the choir. I do still try to see my nursing home favorites they seem especially happy when I bring the baby with me. I enjoyed my time "alone" at home.
-Lela www.xanga.com/lmcs79
My husband and I have been married for about 5 months, and like the first commenter said, I wouldn't say I'm too busy to get a side job either. With that being said, there is never a time when I am short on things to do. Keeping a home neat, orderly, and cozy can keep you busy 24 hours a day if you let it. Being newly married and being a SAHW with no chilren has allowed me alot of time to simply study our home and figure out where improvements can be made and what our essential needs are.
Here are just a few things that I have the opportunity to do because I'm not commited to a side job.
I was blessed to be avaliable to care for my two young nephews three times a week, and because of this we have an incredible bond that we wouldn't otherwise have. I also get to spend every Wednesday afternoon cooking lunch for, and spending time with my elderly grandparents which we all enjoy very much. Also, if my husband or my family needs my help with anything, I can be available to meet their needs.
I have learned SO MUCH having been able to stay home that I wouldn't have had time to learn otherwise. I've taught myself how to budget, cook, bake, clean, organize, sew, decorate, simple home repairs, and the list goes on. I've also enjoyed finding creative ways to earn money from home that I will be able to continue to pursue if we are blessed with children.
Above all else, I feel like I am a hundred percent commited to my husband, our home and my family.
For those blessed enough to be able to stay at home before having children, use this opportunity to learn things you will use for your future, and to serve the Lord and others in ways that you can't once you have children to care for. Some examples of things to learn: grocery/household/clothing shopping on a budget, frugal cooking, organizing both the home and time, sewing (a valuable tool once you have children), interior decorating/design on a budget, growing a garden, herbology (also useful once you have children), and childcare, among many, many other things you have time to learn. You can also spend more time caring for homebound, elderly, or ill church and community members through visiting and cooking meals when there aren't any children to take up the hours of the day. You can take in sewing or teach music lessons, if you are so inclined. You should also spend this time loving and getting to know your husband.
Once the children do come, you will have so much to do that you will throw your head back and laugh at the idea of sitting on the couch watching tv all day. There are diapers, laundry, games to play, walks outdoors, rooms to redecorate, cookies to bake, more laundry, and the many, many things that you've learned that you now get to teach your children. I have 4 children from 8 to 2 yrs. old, and there is rarely a spare moment around here. There is always someone to teach, discipline, rock, hug, sing to, play with, and take outside to discover new things.
Of course, your walk with the Lord should be first and foremost, whether you have children or not. Memorizing scripture can be a huge blessing once you have so many things to do in the day that you can barely steal 15 min. to read the Word; you will know you have it hidden in your heart.
Ladies Against Feminism has some wonderful articles about stay at home wives with no children and what they do during the day. I hope that these ideas have been helpful to someone.
I am sure you will get a lot of good responses. Also, hopefully Crystal can find a not-so-distant past post that was kind of along the same lines. As I recall, there were a lot of comments on that one too.
Even without children in the mix, there is a lot you can do from home. I'll just give you a little list:
1. A home business
2. Learning about things. Some topics that would be good to learn when responsible for a husband and children would include:
gardening
educational approaches
nutrition
health
alternative health
cooking
hospitality
crafts (if you enjoy them--good for gifts or home business)
decorating
how to study the bible
any talents or skills you want to develop
3. outreach such as to elderly people, shut ins, postpartum moms or moms on bedrest, teenagers needing a helpful and caring adult in their life, neglected children
4. study the Bible
5. garden for beauty and for food
6. learn how to do canning and freezing, dehydrating, etc.
7. learn how to bargain hunt (Crystal has some good info on power shopping with coupons)
Really, this list kind of pales in comparison to all the possibilities. I think that when we are available to God He will show us stuff that we maybe had no idea was a possibility.
Hope this helps!
I wish that I had done a LOT more Bible study(beyond the "obvious" and into the application) and reading on being a godly wife, biblical parenting, and homeschooling before I had kids.
I wasn't exactly clueless having been a pastor's daughter, homeschooled, and the eldest of seven children. However,I think that so much of what I've learned over the past 9 years of marriage could have been so useful if I had known it much earlier. And somehow as a homeschooling mommy of a 5,3,and 1 year old I just don't have as much time to read as I used to. :^)
I also think that it would be so beneficial if you could pick out a few older women in your church whose families you admire and ask them to teach you what they've learned. And try to be a help and blessing to them in return.
I was a school teacher for a couple of years(pre-children) before becoming a stay at home wife and mother. Even when I had the summer months off, I definitely found that I always had plenty to do at home. And I didn't watch TV. :^)
Hi,
I taught in a Christian school when we were first married. I became a SAHW and we wanted to begin a family. God saw fit to bless me through adoption (twins 7 yo through the foster care system).
During the years I was home w/o children I did a lot of volunteer work in our church. I helped with children's ministeries, sent meals into families at the end of the month (when money is low.) Learned to budget on one income...which really does work! I also taught piano lessons in my home, and babysat children. This gave me experience with younger children and also taking care of several at once (3 or 4). I also learned how to run a house according to a schedule : Monday laundry, Tuesday grocery shop, Wed.and Sat. clean house, etc. I also honed my skills in baking and cooking from scratch!...which also saves money!
Since having children, we homeschool, so my life is very full. We still do work in the church but it is as a family. I do wish someone would have told me how fast boys grow, how much they eat, and how much laundry I'd have to do! LOL
It will be 19 years that I have been married and our sons will be 15. I am truely blessed! Our family loves the Lord, serves Him, and I am the happiest when we are all around the table, together, sharing a meal, playing a game, or just enjoying each other's company!
Ruth, PA
A few things I've done over the past couples months of being a SAHW.
Nap...a lot! I wish I had quit my job before getting pregnant instead of waiting until my third trimester! So many things I hoped to do as a SAHW have been overtaken by my need for extra sleep as I near the end of my first pregnancy. I am so thankful to have an understanding husband who says, "Sleep as much as you need to...it's hard work growing a baby!"
Other things to do when not sleeping...I like to volunteer at church - I've been helping get ready for our upcoming missions conference. I am doing the marketing for the conference, so much of the work I've been able to do from home. Help a friend who needs a hand during the day - which I never had time to do when I was working full time. Practice hospitality much more often because I have the time and energy to devote to guests, which I didn't have as much of when I was working. I'm working on developing more mentoring relationships - with younger women to encourage them and with older women to learn from them. I've read a lot of books about pregnancy, parenting, and being a wife. I've worked on home decorating projects - painting a dresser, hanging pictures and mirrors, planning new curtains, etc.
There are SO MANY things to do at home to make a better home, serve my husband, prepare for being a mom, and serve my church and my community!
hi, like to share my routine at home.
Thirteen Things about My Daily Routine
1. Make the beds !
2. Prepare breakfast for my kids.
3. Do the Laundry.
4. Collect rubbish around the house.
5. Mop the floor.
6. Bathe the kids
7. Prepare afternoon tea for the kids.
8. Feed the kids
9. Prepare dinner.
10. Wash the dishes.
11. Read stories to my kids
12. Read the Bible.
I welcome any inputs to make my day another lovely one. cheers.
13. Pray with my family.
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