Ideas needed: Passage into womanhood "party"
Our third child, Anna, is getting ready to turn 12 years old in December. We have always tried to down play the whole "teenager" philosophy with our older two and, instead, stress "becoming a young adult" and living for the Lord. I had an idea of giving Anna some type of "passage into womanhood" party (ceremony) where we would invite her friends, their moms, and her teachers from church (we homeschool) and other influential women in her life. We also wanted to use this time for her dad and I to present her with a promise ring for purity. Do you know of any resources that would give me ideas on what to incorporate into this ceremony? I want it to be fun but also I want it to be a real milestone in her life that she can always look back on. I'm not worried about the promise ring part but needed some ideas on other things to incorporate for the passing into young womanhood part of the party. -LisaWould anyone with older daughters or more experience in this department like to share any thoughts or ideas for Lisa? I'd love to hear from anyone who has done something special to comemorate a daughter entering womanhood.
posted by Crystal Paine at 2:57 PM
18 Comments:
There is an awesome study guide that goes along with the picture book, "The Princess and the Kiss." (If you've never read this book, buy it. Yesterday. It's one of those picture books you're never too young or too old for.) The study guide has some good ideas, and a necklace you can order that represents the princess's first kiss.
Our girls are 16,14,13,8,7. We have just started with the idea of this.(A little late for the older ones but not to late :-))
We are buying a heart necklace that comes with the key. The necklace will be presented to the daughter at a special meal with mom and dad. The key will be given by their father to their husband on their wedding day. Until that day their father holds the key to their heart. Just an idea.
So far I have found what we wanted at Heart to Heart. They have a web page but very little info on price and how to order. You have to call them.
It is www.purityvow.com
Lenni
Maybe try checking the library or online for Quinceanera resources. It is the celebration used for a girl's 15th birthday (usually by hispanics). This is celebrating the girl's passage into adulthood. There may be some good ideas that you could incorporate into your celebration. These celebrations are usually very ornate and fancy, but I love this idea. Good luck!
I was once honored to be part of a "party" for a young woman who was turning 18. It was a beautiful women's tea party...some of the younger girls did a liturgical dance and some of the older women gave short talks. It was a time of worship and celebration.
Shelley Noonan at www.pumpkinseedpress.net has some wonderful products and she has a couple of books that deal with this very subject.
For our two oldest daughters (now 16 and 13), my husband took them out on a father/daughter "date". They got all dressed up in their best clothes and we made a very special occasion out of it with special hose and earrings and such. On this dinner date, my husband talked to them about his role as their father and protector. He went over a 'purity covenant' that has many Scriptures relating to the various subjects discussed. He went through each Scripture and talked about his responsibilities toward them and their responsibility to give him their hearts until such a time as he gives it to the young man they will marry. He gave them both a purity ring. Each ring is different. He then signed the covenant and so did they and the girls are keeping these in their hope chests.
Here is a copy of the text for anyone who is interested:
Purity Covenant
The Father:
I, (father's name), as your Father do solemnly swear and covenant with you this night, March 15, 2003, to love you with a pure heart. I covenant to help you, protect you, lead, guide and direct you to remain pure and
unsullied in body, soul and mind. These things we shall accomplish together until such a time that I give leadership and authority of you over to your husband.
I covenant to give you my full protection under the authority of Scripture - Ephesians.6: 1-3
I covenant to study God’s word so that I may teach you and guide you - John 16:13
I covenant to love you as my sister-in-Christ - 1 Peter 1:22
I covenant to guide you in all things as the Spirit leads - Deuteronomy.6: 1-9
I covenant to help you remain pure until your wedding day - Proverbs.1: 7-9
I covenant to help you choose the mate that God chose for you - Genesis 24
I covenant to be an earthly model of the Abba that you can seek in times of trouble, fear, and heartbreak. - Romans 8:15
I covenant to support you, have faith in you and trust you to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit - John 16:13
I covenant to pray for you daily - Ephesians.1: 16
The Daughter:
I, (daughter's name), as your daughter do solemnly swear and covenant with you this night, March 15, 2003, to love you with a pure heart, to turn to you in times of trouble, confusion and fear. I covenant with you to
follow your lead as my spiritual guide and spiritual authority. Tonight I covenant with you to keep myself spiritually, physically and emotionally pure until my wedding day. I place my trust in you to choose a man
as designated by God to be my husband.
I covenant to study God’s word to gain wisdom and understanding - 2 Tim. 2:15
I covenant to submit to your teaching and instruction - Proverbs 1:8
I covenant with you to submit to your authority until such time as I am wed - Ephesians. 6:1
I covenant with you to remain sexually pure until I am wed -1Corinthians. 7:34
I covenant with you to give you my heart until God makes His choice for my husband known to you - Matthew 15:4
I covenant with you to trust you to know what is best for me in all things - Ephesians. 1:17-18
I covenant to let you know when I am struggling so that you can direct me.
I covenant to conduct myself in such a manner that I will bring honor to my God and you, my Daddy.
I covenant to pray for you daily as you lead our family - Ephesians. 1:16
These things we covenant together, between (father's name) as the Father and (daughter's name) as the daughter, this day and
seal with a ring. This ring is a sign of this covenant and shall remain on (daughter's name) ring finger of her left hand,
as placed there this night by (father's name), until the day of her engagement or marriage.
Signed in the presence of God and His Angels:
I hope that helps and gives you some ideas! Congratulations to your daughter on her birthday!
I'd wait until she's 15 and do a quince party (quincenera)...Personally, and this is just my humble opinion, 12 is way too young to be talking about purity. Wait until she's 15. People are so concerned about keeping their children innocent...why rush them into adulthood?
I had a quince, and while it was definitely low key compared to many other girls', it was fun to be escorted by my dad, to have that special father-daughter dance... Let her cherish her childhood a little longer before she's thrust into womanhood. :)
Good luck! Let her be a "teen". Its an inevitable phase, but you can make her a respectful one. :)
My daughter turned 12 years old this past April. I presented her with a special scrapbook with letters of encouragement from godly ladies and young maidens at our church. Many shared special scriptures while some gave words of testimony of how God led them in the path of purity and towards biblical womanhood. This was done as a surprise and will be something she will always treasure.
I would recommend some of the lovely items from Vision Forum regarding raising feminine, young women.They have a book called How to be a Lady, which would surely be edifying to her. A tea party would be a sweet way to celebrate her new milestone. Letting her help in the planning, baking, and decorating are wonderful preparations for running one's future household.
Have a special, glamourous lunch or dinner out with mom and dad, have flowers delivered to the house the day of, and spend the time out talking about what kind of promise ring she would like... at 16!... and what kind of debutante party she would like to have when she is ready to be introduced to eligible young men... at 20! Dont do too much too soon. My parents gave me a lot to look forward to, and it was great.
I would suggest buying her "lady" items, high heal shoes, lipstick etc. My promise ring was a man's gold wedding band I wore as a thumb ring. Which is not my DH's wedding band.
-Lela
www.xanga.com/LMCS79
I think a party with friends and family at 12 is a great idea. Waiting till 15 is too late. In Judaism, we celebrate our Bat Mitzvah at age 12. This is when the girls take responsibilty as adults to observe God's commandments. One such being purity.
I really like lady why's lists of covenants, which could be presented by both the mother and the father - both are a critical factor into a girls womanhood. This also gives the guests the opportunity to be a witness and on the other hand be an affirmation, keeping accountable the girl's "covenant."
Also, for our Bat Mitzvah we read the portion of the Torah that corresponds with our birthday for that Sabbath. Now, as this is also a passage into biblical womanhood perhaps in addition to the purity covenants also have her read portions of scripture that relate to biblical womanhood as you guide her to become a woman after God's own heart.
We had a party similar to this when my daughter turned 13.
We took her, her friends and their mothers to a tea room for "high tea".
Prior to this as a surprise to her, we sent out over 100 letters to friends, family her favorite musicians, teachers, etc. asking if they would mind writing to her and giving her advice on becoming a Godly woman. We also asked that they share a favorite recipe.
I took the letters and compiled them into a scrapbook and the recipes into a recipe file for her hope chest.
She cried as she read some of the letters...they were full of so much wisdom.
In many years to come, I hope that she can look back over her book and
take these morsels of wisdom these women have shared with her and she'll know that even years before she had started her own family, there were already people praying for her.
Likewise, when she is in her kitchen, preparing say, my Aunt Dot's special holiday pralines, she'll remember that this is an heirloom recipe that was shared with her in a special aunt's handwriting (whom I might add, is elderly and may not be with us then) and know that she is blessed to have something so wonderful to grace her kitchen!
**One additional thought...how about making your daughter a party favor for her home...maybe the first thing to be added to her hope chest? Have all of her party
guests pray for her life as she grows and then sign a rolling pin that can eventually be hung in her kitchen?
This is such a special time in a girl's life...there should be something that will remind her of this event throughout her life! : )
I am reading a book called "The B Word" by Robert Strand, all about the beauty and power of family blessings. The Strand family, every year at Christmas, celebrates the grandchild who is turning 13 that year. Each family member over 13 writes and reads a special blessing for the young person, that he or she can keep in a book and look at later. There are some great sample blessings in the book, as well as an overview of the idea of blessings throughout the Bible.
A hope chest, if she doesn't already have one, is a great idea for a gift.
My eldest (girl) is only five, so I don't have any experience to share, but wated to add my hearty recommendation to the heart and key necklace and the hopechest as gifts. I hope to give both of these to each of my girls as they turn 12 or 13.
I was the recipient of a heart necklace when my husband and I were engaged (my dad gave him the key when he gave me the heart). We wore them before during and after our wedding and I still wear mine all the time.:-) My folks had the key made into a tie tack and so my husband wears it on his tie. I love it when we are out together and he has his key and I have my heart :-)
For my two younger sisters, my parents gave them the same necklaces earlier on and so my dad held onto the keys. When one sister was engaged, my dad then gave the key to her fiancee; he still has one key left. :-)
For our little daughters I would like to give the necklaces to them as 12th or 13th birthday presents. We are already teaching them the principles behind it, bit by bit according to their age.
I love the idea of the hopechest as a gift at this age too.
Guess I have't really added much, except that I think those are wonderful ideas! :-)
Lastly, the Botkin sisters have a beautiful letter written to a 12 year old girl here http://www.visionarydaughters.com/2006/09/letter-to-a-twelve-year-old-girl/
We are trying an idea with the ALABASTER BOX analogy. According to Hebrew custom, a young woman is given a box by her parents in which they put expensive perfume as their budget can afford. When a suitor is found, she breaks the box/jar over his feet to show her submission and willingness to love him. (Of course, the story of Mary and Christ adds so much beauty to this analogy.) We are still working on the details, but we are planning to give each of our girls an AB during their "rite of passage" and then put something significant in it (letters ???) and then present the box to her husband at their wedding. The details are still sketchy, but maybe one of you creative thinkers have a beautiful idea to tie up this lovely tradition. I need some! (You can reach me through my website below.) I appreciate any suggestions, and maybe this helps the lady who asked with some inspiration.
I have a friend who gave her daughter a hope chest party. Her and her husband's gift was a hope chest and then they had special ladies and daughters from their home fellowship over for a party, perhaps a tea party. Some of the older women spoke. Gifts were given that were to go into the hope chest to build a legacy.
With daughters aged 4 & 2,we are nowhere near there yet,but I've loved reading these suggestions.At this point we are thinking of doing something similar to Jenny's comment-except in Australia we call Hope Chests, "Glory Boxes" !
Claire
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