Liberated women
Last week I got a call to do a newspaper interview for a small town newspaper article on the subject of stay-at-home moms and Linda Hirshman. I don't often do interviews because 1) I don't get asked too often and 2) I try to limit my "outside" activities so that I make sure I am not neglecting my most important priorities. However, this was just a quick interview on a subject I'm passionate about and my husband wanted me to accept it.
As the woman (who was the religion and family editor of their newspaper) began asking me a variety of questions, I realized that we differed quite a bit on our views of fulfillment, success, and the role of the home in society. This is not uncommon. As I interact with various people on a daily basis, I find a recurring theme - very few people understand that money doesn't buy happiness. The job you have, the car you drive, the house you live in - these things don't bring happiness and fulfillment. Inspite of constant bombardation with messages which proclaim that having certain things will bring happiness, this couldn't be farther from the truth. The more you have, the more you want.
The feminist movement "liberated" women to abandon their God-given professions as wives and mothers and instead bear a double-curse - trying to juggle being both full-time breadwinners and homemakers. This so-called "liberation" has actually put countless families in bondage - debt bondage, credit card bondage, and the inability to enjoy the simple pleasures of life.
I talk to so many families who say, "We can't live on one income." Thanks to the feminist movement, very few families think they can. Instead, mom and dad have to work 40-60 hours per week to pay the bills, pay the mortgage, pay the dry cleaner, pay the nanny, pay the house cleaner, pay the fast food restaurants, pay the babysitter, pay the boxed-food/frozen food dinner makers, and on and on. No wonder we can't live on one income anymore!
But, inspite of the damage caused by the feminist movement, there's hope. We don't have to follow this path of bondage. We don't have to buy into the lies. We can make one of the most truly liberating choices ever - we can choose home.
As Mrs. Wayne E. Hunter wrote recently:
The feminist movement gave us the "liberation" to face life outside the home. We were given the means to find and provided with substitutes for the care that wives and mothers traditionally gave their families, such as daycare, earlier and later compulsory age requirements in schools, three-meal-a-day daycares and schools, fast-food restaurants, and quick-fix-it boxed meals to replace home-cooked meals. School teachers took over character training for our children, therapists took over teaching our children to play and get to know themselves as well as interacting with others, counselors took over the wise counsel and understanding that once only a mother could give, and tax-funded social services for families and communities grew astronomically.For the sake of our children, for the sake of our grandchildren, for the sake of the future of our society, let's stand up and show the world the value, beauty, and blessing of home.
All of these substitutes and services have cost and continue to cost our nation incalculable amounts of money both publicly and privately--but were once provided for free to our families and society from devoted, round-the-clock wives and mothers. What we've learned through our "liberation from the home" was that these substitute services can't hold a candle to what we can provide. We are irreplaceable. When people are paid to give these services, they do it for money; when women choose to give of themselves by providing these services, they do it out of and for love. Love: that's the missing ingredient, and the best kind of love is love that gives freely. There's only one way to develop this love, as today's wives and mothers have found out, and that is through the devoted day-in/day-out care of our own families. We're here, we're on the job - though be it at home - and we're excelling. We've tried the substitutes; now we're all ready for the real thing. We're indispensable, irreplaceable, and we're in love with our families. The New Women's Movement wives and mothers are truly liberated by living as God created us to live - and this pours out into our society in a most profound way.
Please read Mrs. Walker's full article, it is well-worth your time.
posted by Crystal Paine at 2:13 PM
11 Comments:
Crystal, I agree with you. Women who devote the majority of their time to keeping their homes are more fulfilled and have more fun. But this begs the question. If women (and the daughters that they will raise) are for keeping the home, what is the home for? Is the home an end in itself?
Good question, MM, and one I hoped someone would bring up as I sort of left it open-ended. :) I could have written ten pages, but decided to keep it a short blog post. :)
Is home an end in itself? I'd love to hear anyone's answer to this question.
My short answer:
No, home is not an end in itself, just like marriage is not an end in itself. I believe marriage was designed by God for two people to come together as unit to more effectively serve God than they could separate. In the same way, the reason God has ordained the woman's place to be in her home as the guardian of her home is so she can have a powerful and effective ministry there - serving as a helper to her husband, raising the next generation to the glory of God, ministering to the needs of her church and community... the home should be the center of the family, a center of evagelistic outreach, a center of productivity.
Our homes should serve as beautiful testimonies to a sin-darkened world of the beauty of the Gospel of Jesus Christ lived out in our everyday lives.
That's my short and sweet answer - there's so much more I could add. Feel free to chime in with your thoughts. We've lost much of a home-centered, family-centered focus in Christendom. We've become so busy with outside duties, responsibilities, ministries, etc. that the home is often the most-neglected and last place we would think of as a place for outreach and ministry. Oh that God would raise up families commited to using their home to glorify Him in a powerful way!
Amen, Crystal! Thanks for sharing this! I may be posting a link to this from my blog. =)
Great article! Thanks for linking! I especially loved the post script at the end.
I agree that women were created to be help meets and to nurture their family. I also agree that women should stay at home, when possible. However, it is not always possible, and the reasons are not always b/c of those you listed in your post.
My husband and I live in an area where housing costs are OUTRAGEOUS and wages are not up to par. We own a small, 1 bedroom condo and our mortgage is over $1000/month. (For perspective, renting a 1 bedroom would cost aprox. $800+/month and there are no apartment bldgs. in our area. Most are in old homes that have been converted into multi-family units and are not clean or in nice areas).
In order to do purchase our condo we sold one car and we now only have 1 vehicle between us. We both work full time, tithe faithfully, save wisely, and live on a very tight budget.
We recently found out we are expecting our first child in April. We are so excited about this addition to our family, however it has been agonizing trying to figure out how we can make it work on 1 income. The bottom line, we can't.
We have cut costs in every place imaginable. My husband offered to take a second job, however he already works 50- 60 hours a week. I just cannot see having him around even less. So, I will have to work, though thankfully only part time.
As I said, I agree with your views, I just wanted to point out that not all women who work do so because of erroneous spending. I would much rather be at home full time once my child is born. This just is not an option right now for us.
Amy: I agree and I know that not every woman who works fulltime does it because she is only wanting more things. I think a lot of women work because they don't know there is any other way - they were never taught frugality and they do not know how to earn money from home. That is one reason I stress these things so much on this blog. I want to give women tools, inspiration, and practical help to encourage them to consider making it on one income.
My advice to you would be to 1) Consider moving 2) Pray that the Lord would provide for your needs through your husband (God can still do miracles today and I've seen him give many husband's raises right around when a wife stops working!) 3) Ask the Lord to help you come up with more creative ways to cut your budget and creative ideas of ways to earn money from home 4) Start researching and learning everything you can about possibilities to earn from home. By the time your baby arrives, you might not even need to work part-time - you might be earning a full-time income from home in just a few hours or less per day!
I think along with the fact that many women do not go into marriage armed with the ability to live on little and lots of creativity (I'm not saying this is you, Amy - I'm just saying in general), I also think that most couples do not go into marriage prepared to live on one income. I want to raise my sons and daughters up equipped with the skills to thrive on one income. I talk with so many moms who have five or so young children who are struggling financially and they want to find a way to earn money from home to help their husband out. Although it is possible, it is much harder to start from scratch when you have five little ones - time and energy is usually pretty scarce. This is why I think it is so important that young women learn skills of frugality and earning from home before they are married and begin putting things in place when they are first married so that by the time they have five children, they probably won't run into this problem. This is our goal - to "get ahead" while we can - while our income is more than our outgo we want to save as much as we can, invest in things which will produce residual income, etc. so that ten years down the road, the money and time we are investing now will still be producing.
Crystal, I totally agree with your comment that the home is not the end.
The end is Christ and His glory!! For the Christian, our churches, marriages, families, homes and our lives are a means to that end.
The home often brings out the worst in us, our true selves, and is thus an avenue for Him to change us more into His image. It is also a chance to imitate Christ's servanthood by serving others (family and non-family). A godly home enables outreach to others and is an example of how Christ's power to transform lives. I'm sure there are lots of other ways that He is glorified - these are just off the top of the head.
But when the home becomes the focus to the extent that Christ is no longer the focus, when the home becomes the ends instead of the means, has the home not become something like an idol?
Thanks for the thought-provoking comments, mm & crystal!
I totally agree with you! I am glad that you stated this!
The home is a type of witness...and the believing family members are(because they are the workmanship of God) a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Ever hear it said that Christians are the only Bible some people read? Of course, believers have the God-given desire for the focus to be God rather than us(always His responsiblity to accomplish in and through us).
We tend to think of Titus 2 in regards to females(Titus 2 women)...and even males(they, too, are addressed in that chapter and in the one before and following)...and their God-given roles and location(inside or outside the home). Titus 2 as a offense to feminism isn't about us...it is about God and His glory, the Word not being blasphemed, for those contrary to the faith to be quieted and that they may be ashamed, that by God working through those in the home or church fellowship or in government, etc. they adorn the teaching of God our Savior in ALL things. Titus is about salvation in action in varied walks of earthly life in Christ...a rebuke to those not sound in the faith. The home isn't an end in itself. It isn't even the ultimate means to an end...Jesus is, as we are being transformed and conformed from the image of Adam to His image(Christ)...and reflecting the Son's submission to the Father regardless of "where" believers find themselves planted and growing in and by God's grace.
Joyce, I like your style.
mm, God is so good; we are so blessed! :-)
Post a Comment
<< Home