Preparing for a new baby
If you've not read it yet, you really need to read Tammy's great post on preparing for a new baby. Thanks so much for taking the time to write all of that, Tammy! I am printing it out and sticking it in my file to reference many times over the next 8 months.
I have a few simple goals right now for my second pregnancy, based upon things I learned from my first pregnancy:
1) Exercise more, especially in the first trimester. This is something I wish I would have just made myself do the first time around - not just only did on the one day a week I happened to feel good.
2) Enjoy today and stop focusing on how far along I am and how many more months, days, weeks, I have left.
3) Plan for the baby to come late. I was two weeks overdue last time and I had sincerely hoped and planned that the baby would come early. This resulted in about five very long, agonizing weeks of waiting. I learned my lesson the hard way. This pregnancy, I'm not even going to tell people exactly when I'm due, you won't see a ticker on my blog, and I'm planning that I'll be somewhere around two weeks late. By the way, with that in mind, I recalculated my due date and am thinking it will be more the middle of July. Don't even ask me if I've had the baby before then!! :)
4) Focus on training and working with Kathrynne so that she is better prepared to be my obedient helper when the new baby is born. I'll share more what I'm doing in this regard in a later post today or tomorrow. Finding out I am pregnant has been a huge motivation to me in this.
I'm still contemplating things to prepare for the baby's birth and my recovery and adjusting well to having two young children. I learned a lot last time around and hope to be better prepared, more relaxed, and take it much easier than I did last time (I most assuredly plan to not plan anything for a number of weeks after having a baby. Quite different than last time when I had a book deadline to make six weeks after having a baby. It was most definitely crazy!). Maybe I'll share some of these things later, once I figure them out more concretely in my head. Tammy's ideas were so helpful to me in this regard!
I'd love to hear from you other moms, too. Anything you'd add to Tammy's list or share from your experiences? For those of you who are currently expecting, anything you'd like to share that you are doing to prepare for adjusting to this new precious life in your home?
I have a few simple goals right now for my second pregnancy, based upon things I learned from my first pregnancy:
1) Exercise more, especially in the first trimester. This is something I wish I would have just made myself do the first time around - not just only did on the one day a week I happened to feel good.
2) Enjoy today and stop focusing on how far along I am and how many more months, days, weeks, I have left.
3) Plan for the baby to come late. I was two weeks overdue last time and I had sincerely hoped and planned that the baby would come early. This resulted in about five very long, agonizing weeks of waiting. I learned my lesson the hard way. This pregnancy, I'm not even going to tell people exactly when I'm due, you won't see a ticker on my blog, and I'm planning that I'll be somewhere around two weeks late. By the way, with that in mind, I recalculated my due date and am thinking it will be more the middle of July. Don't even ask me if I've had the baby before then!! :)
4) Focus on training and working with Kathrynne so that she is better prepared to be my obedient helper when the new baby is born. I'll share more what I'm doing in this regard in a later post today or tomorrow. Finding out I am pregnant has been a huge motivation to me in this.
I'm still contemplating things to prepare for the baby's birth and my recovery and adjusting well to having two young children. I learned a lot last time around and hope to be better prepared, more relaxed, and take it much easier than I did last time (I most assuredly plan to not plan anything for a number of weeks after having a baby. Quite different than last time when I had a book deadline to make six weeks after having a baby. It was most definitely crazy!). Maybe I'll share some of these things later, once I figure them out more concretely in my head. Tammy's ideas were so helpful to me in this regard!
I'd love to hear from you other moms, too. Anything you'd add to Tammy's list or share from your experiences? For those of you who are currently expecting, anything you'd like to share that you are doing to prepare for adjusting to this new precious life in your home?
posted by Crystal Paine at 10:29 AM
23 Comments:
Great ideas from Tammy. I'm 6 months pregnant with my first, and I really hadn't even thought about most of these things. I've been feeling a sense of dread whenever I think about the first weeks and months after the baby comes...just because I haven't any idea what it's going to be like or what I'm going to be able to do or not do. I think that as I plan and do some of these things, I'll feel more in control and be able to handle it better.
I also starting working with my son to make him as independent as possible before our second arrives in February. Since it will be the winter, we've worked on putting on his coat, shades, and hat, as well as taking everything off and putting it away when we come back inside.
I wish I'd exercised a bit more myself during my first trimester, but that time is past. Definitely in the winter months, get a video or dvd from the library to do, and hopefully your daughter will motivate you. My son is thrilled with Yoga (especially the pre-natal yoga) and will ask for us to do it - it's so hard to refuse him, so good motivation for me.
I've also taken a good hard look at what I used and didn't use or wish I had had when my son was an infant. All the stuff I've been saving that I think is unnecessary is getting donated and for Christmas and my birthday (coming maybe before the baby), I've asked for baby things that I wished I'd had - mostly carriers.
Hope that helps.
Gwen
ahh, to prepare for a baby! What an exciting thought, though completely impossible (even for me due with my 6th in May). All of your goals are great though - very realistic. That is, except for the one about your due date. For me it didn't matter what I told myself about being patient and not worrying or thinking about my due date. My kids come later with every pregnancy but for some reason I go crazy at about 8 months thinking that I could go at any time and I start to wonder if every little pain could be a contraction, lol. Very silly, I know.
Did you get morning sickness with Kathrynne? My advice for bad morning sickness is peppermint. Peppermint lollypops, gum, candies, tea, or anything else with peppermint. Peppermint was the only thing that calmed my stomach enough for me to eat something or go to the grocery store (and I had to make it quick). Of course, it may not work for you or you may already know what works for you.
A baby! How exciting!!!
At 5 mos. pregnant w/my 2nd, I'm trying to spend as much quality time as I can w/my 16 mo. old. The guilt at taking time away from him has already set in!!
Otherwise, I'm talking to my son a lot about the baby in mommy's belly & trying to point out babies wherever we go.
I'm also planning on taking a breastfeeding class. I wasn't able to nurse the first time and am dead set on doing it this time. Crystal, if you ever have time in the near future - could you possibly post on breastfeeding 101? The pain I experienced trying to nurse was worse than childbirth and I finally gave up after 5 days. Not having had a lot of experience around newborns, I was totally shocked by this. If you wouldn't mind, I'd really appreciate it.
Oh, glad you liked it, Crystal... and I only really touched the tip of the iceberg! :)
You're right about adding the part about "overdue" babies! I planned for my second to be 2 weeks overdue, but he surprised me by being a lot later than that!! Next time (if we're so blessed!) I'm planning on 6 weeks "late" ;)
Jessica, don't worry about after the baby's born... I think it's good to plan to be free of extra burdens, and to prepare things in advance, but definitely don't dread recovery or caring for a newborn. Recovery from giving birth isn't exactly fun in every aspect, but having your own little bundle to love will make everything else fade into the background. :)
And like the rest of life, adjusting to motherhood is done one day at a time! :D
The advice I've been given (no babies yet) is to stock up on meals and keep them in the freezer. Make baby food whilst pregnant too - the reason why Mum stopped giving me homemade food was that she ran out of what she had made when she was pregnant!
Even though you went late with your first, it's best to have all baby needs and tasks to be done finished at least two weeks ahead of your due date. My first baby was late, and I had several bouts of preterm labor with my 2nd, then he was born 2 weeks early. You just never know. My 3rd and 4th were also about 2 weeks early, but with #5 I haven't felt nearly as many Braxton Hicks as I did with the others, so I could go late with this one!
Tammy, if you want to do a part 2, and part 3, and so on, I'd sure love it! :) Thanks for taking the time to write it, it was really helpful. And yeah, I think I'd plan on later than two weeks, if I were you. ;) I'm only planning on going two weeks late, since the birthing center we are planning to use only lets you go that much overdue before having you start on some sort of natural induction methods and then progress towards artificial induction, if necessary. They rarely ever have to use artificial induction, though, since they are really good at working with a woman's body to encourage her to go into labor. Things are up in the air about whether or not we will be moving to another location or staying in this same city, until next week, though. So I'm not entirely sure I'll even be using this birthing center. But that's the plan anyway!
Mel, yes, I was quite sick with Kathrynne for the first five months. I ended up having just about every pregnancy symptom in the book by the end of my pregnancy. However, as soon as I had given birth, I was anxious to do it again! :) I learned some things on how to cope better with the sickness the first time around and am hoping it benefits me this time. We'll see. So far, I've been feeling fairly good, considering everything and able to function at probably almost 50-75%. I'm trying to distract myself and stay busy in hopes it will help! :) I'm also taking some supplements which are supposed to help with morning sickness, and trying to make myself eat something every few hours, and eating more protein and trying to get plenty of rest.
Jessica: Don't dread it! Even if you have a difficult recovery like I did, the wonderment of having a new baby seemed to overshadow all of it. Just clear your schedule, get some help if you can (my mom came and stayed with us for the first week and I don't think I could have done it without her!), make some meals up in advance, and be patient with yourself. That was my hardest thing. I thought I'd swing back a lot more quickly than I did and I wish I would have not pushed myself so much at first, just revelled more in being a new mama!
Crystal,
One thing that has been indispensable to me since my son turned six weeks is a schedule. My midwife told me that to establish a good milk supply I needed to feed my baby every two hours.(A good milk supply is something that I do NOT struggle to obtain) Well, I'll just say that I did that for about a day because Micah just would NOT wake up, he was more exhausted than I was! He was one of those newborns that would have slept around the clock had I let him. I ended up just forgetting what the midwife said and getting him up every four hours instead. It worked out but I had a LOT of unneeded stress in the begining. Looking back I wish I would have started him on a schedule right away.If I had done the schedule sooner he would have gotten adequate sleep so there wouldn't have been the times I was crying and panicing because he hadn't eaten is seven hours. A good book to get you going is called My First 300 Babies by Gladys Hendrick. The author is a bit stricter in some areas of child rearing than I plan to be but as with everything you read, just use your own discretion.
I hope this will be of some help to you
~Jennifer
megmarc,
About the breastfeeding -
I don't know if this will help you because I don't know exactly what about feeding your baby caused you pain but, my first 4 babies caused me horrible breastfeeding pain in the first two weeks. With my first child I would have quit but I didn't have any extra money for formula. with the next three babies I was pretty sure the pain would go away like the first so I pushed through it, tears and all, through the first two weeks.
I had my fifth at a baby frindly hospital (the most amazing baby having experience!) and they sent a lactation consultant in to check on me often. I thought it was silly and told them that I had nursed 4 babies already but the lady was persistent and kept bugging me about the way I was holding Ben while I nursed. She was sure it would end up causing me pain. I endulged her and sure enough I ended up having a lot less pain in my first two weeks! The pain I did have was bearable and I didn't cringe everytime he wanted to eat. Maybe talk to a lactation consultant when the baby arrives so they can help you hold your baby the best way for you and help him or her to latch on completely. Those two issues are the biggest when it comes to breastfeeding pain. Many hospitals have BF consultants on staff or you can go here http://www.lalecheleague.org/WebUS.html to find free help in your area.
I hope this helps!
Crystal,
I would suggest making plenty of breakable plans for those last few weeks before your duedate. There's no better way to make the days stretch into eternity than to clear your schedule and sit around watching the calendar.
Don't be afraid to plan fun, low key, easy outings even after your duedate. You can't lose: either you get to do the outing, or you get to hold your baby!
Crystal
I did smile at your comments on being overdue with Kathrynne. When I was pregnant with Aidan (my oldest, I was determined not to fall into the trap of thinking he would be born around due date and was mentally prepared for overdue. The best laid plans etc - I finished work on Friday at 35 weeks gestation, went to bed that night after putting some things aside for my bag to take to hospital (as my sister and DH were telling me that I should do it) and bingo - my waters broke that night! There I was anticipating a lovely relaxing 5 weeks of nesting and bubs was there on the Saturday!
With Marieke (number 2) I was all packed for hospital by 32/34 weeks. And from 35 weeks I was prepared for her arrival ANY DAY - the wee darling took her time and arrived at 39 weeks, which to me felt like 4 weeks overdue! LOL!
Just be prepared for early or late and try not to dwell on the date (yeah right!)
And I heartily agree with meals in the freezer - I had lots done for Marieke (after all she was going to come early right!) and I loved knowing the meals were there. I tried to use just a couple a week, one night takeaways, 1 night a really easy meal (like omelette etc), 1 night using the crockpot, 1 night in the weekend DH often kindly cooked.
I had a 2 year gap and I was fortunate in that I could usually get both asleep in the afternoon at the same time so I had 1/12 to 2 hours of time to rest, eat lunch, get dinner organised, do some housework. It was really great. I was also blessed to have a quite an easy second baby who seemed to slip into her own routine within a few weeks.
Sorry for the novel - you brought back happy memories!
All the best for your pregnancy too Crystal - I really made an effort to enjoy everything (well, as much as you can!) the second time around!
Cheers, Wilma
I have two bits of advice, as a mother of two (2-year-old and three-month-old). First of all, don't be surprised if you're not late with the 2nd one. I was three weeks early with Baby # 2!
Secondly, remember that every single thing can be and probably will be different this time around....from your symptoms to your aches and pains to your energy level to your labor and delivery...even to the baby's temperment and how he/she eats and sleeps!
These are two things I had to learn the hard way. :0) Congratulations and good luck!
It's definitely good to think they'll be late, but have everything together in case the baby does come early. I was convinced my son would be late, and we were not ready when he was 2 weeks early. It's not fun to try to get stuff together while in early labor!
CONGRATULATIONS!!! We rejoice with you! May you treasure every day! Thank you for sharing your life with us here in internet land! Prayers for a healthy little blessing and healthy pregnancy are yours from our family! To God be the glory!
In Christ,
Jen in Al
blessed wife of Casey and mommy to 4 precious arrrows so far!
I was so convinced Hannah would come early, I was prepared for labor to begin at 37 weeks. So when it dragged out to almost 42 weeks I was really depressed! I'm pregnant again now and I'm also planning for this baby to be two weeks late. If he/she is early, that will be a pleasant surprise!
With my last pregnancy, I exercised literally every single day. This time I've been sicker and exhausted and have had some complications (bleeding, low progesterone) so I haven't been doing as much. I'm still breastfeeding my 10 month old, so I think that is making me more tired, but it's worth it to keep nursing her. I got a book called "Maternal Fitness" by Julie Tupler that has some good low impact exercises to do to prepare your body for pregnancy and labor, and I'm trying to do those when I can.
The thing I'm going to try to do in advance is DECLUTTER the baby gear! We got too much "stuff" for our first baby that was never used, so I want to get rid of it to make room for baby 2!
I am also going to get the new baby on a feeding schedule RIGHT AWAY. It took me a week of NO sleep and constant feedings (like every 45 minutes) to realize that the baby and I BOTH needed some structure. Once I started feeding her every three hours and letting her go longer at night, she settled down, I settled down, and things got better.
I'm not sure how much I can do to make my daughter self-sufficient since she will only be 17 months old when the new baby comes, but I'd love to see posts on how you are goingt to train Kathrynne!
As the mom of three (3, 15 months, 3 weeks) busy boys, let me say that having independent children is a blessing and a...ahem...challenge. My boys can get their own drinks and snacks; 3 year old potties completely alone while 1 year old is just learning. Both older boys play by themselves and 1 year old is not on the bottle at all so he's thinks he's a big guy. Both boys help with kitchen clean up, laundry, and picking up toys so they are familiar with they family duties (we actually punish them by saying "If you don't eat your sandwich, you don't get to do your chores" LOL).
The challenge lies in that since I have such good helpers, they want to help with Baby ALL THE TIME. Having a lazy, toy-centered child would be a lot easier than my little men who want to binkie the baby, carry him around, roll him over the floor, wipe his face with wipes, or give him presents (grapes, toothbrushes, balls, toys). It just requires extra sets of eyes and hands... which will come naturally with the arrival of Baby.
There is NEVER a dull moment with three under four. The house is rarely picked up and dishes are often in the sink but hey... this season will pass. Our decorating motif is "House Full of Boys"... and since almost everyone we know has a house full of children, too, they love us anyway.
Best wishes for a nap=filled pregnancy :-)
Crystal,
Thank you so much for posting this information. I am pregnant with my first and due around the same time as you, I think. I need all the information I can get!
Elissa
Your ideas and goals all sound great. Just a word of caution: I understand and somewhat agree with your logic of expecting baby to be late however just make sure you are prepared in the event that baby arrives early/on time. My sister has 4 children and two were late, one was early and one was pretty close to "on time" according to the doctors.
I'm 32 wks pregnant with my first and ALL READY for baby to come (diapers, carseat, nursery etc.) I think maybe I will use your method of thinking so I am not disappointed and impatient come January 2!
Jenn
Katie (momof2boys), thanks for sharing your comment, I loved reading it! You always sound like such a cheerful mom!
I saw that someone said they planned to start their new baby on a feeding schedule "RIGHT AWAY". All I will say is just... be careful! Every baby is different. And some babies need more space between feedings than others. :)
My theory was that I really wanted to successfully breastfeed. (I wanted to establish breastfeeding and a good milk supply first, routines second.) I fed/feed both my babies whenever they are hungry and don't try to get them to wait longer and longer between meals, unless they initiate that themselves. I've been blessed with an abundant milk supply and chubby, healthy babies.
I just figure, babies have small tummies. And babies don't stay little very long. I'm willing to sacrifice a little sleep to be sure that they are thriving and that breastfeeding isn't compromised. :) Just my personal view! :)
Congratulations Crystal!
I found that the first baby was far and away the most difficult mainly because I had much better idea of what to expect later.
I've just read the posts on preparing for a baby and would second much of this. We've just had our fourth. Having an "emergency" menu for a fortnight with everything either in the freezer or cans has been very helpful. We have also been blessed with gifts of meals from people at church and this has meant that our stock of easy meals has lasted longer.
Whilst getting younger children to be independent has been helpful, we have found that once the new child has been born the one above regresses a little. This seems to be most marked in the area of potty training especially at night. This doesn't last long but we have found that it is better not to expect too much.
Can Jessie get some leave after the birth? Dh has been able to take a fortnight's paternity leave after our baby and this has made so much difference. I've had more rest and we have all been able to spend time getting to know our new little one.
Blessings
Annaelisabeth
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