Comfort to my weary heart
My heart was heavy as I awoke this morning. The job, which seemed such a done deal a few weeks ago, is becoming less and less of a sure thing and, as of yesterday, when we had just finished packing up one of the last of the moving boxes, it became even more remote. All the while, our planned moving date is looming closer and my husband's last day at work is almost here. Our home is entirely packed up and now things are less concrete than ever.I feel as if my life has been one big drama saga the last few months. I'm pretty sure I couldn't even make up all the ups and downs we've been through if I'd tried. So much of my recent blogging has been about my struggles to trust in the Lord. I know many of you are going through much more difficult times than us, but this is where I'm at and I feel it would be less than honest to pretend it was anything else.
I've found myself questioning God a lot: "Why does it have to be this way? Why do things have to look so grim? I know You are Sovereign, I know this is all part of your plan, but why are You waiting so long to reveal more details to us? Haven't I learned enough patience, longsuffering, and contentment in the last three years?"
I realize just how small my faith is and how much I like to try and rely upon my own strength. Something my husband and I often remind each other of is: Stress and worry are an indication of a lack of resting and trusting in the Lord. But just knowing that doesn't make the stress or worry go away; I have to cast my cares and burdens upon the Lord. I have to entrust these seeming "problems" into His hands and stop trying to hobble under the weight and enormity of them myself. Saying it and knowing it is one thing, doing it is entirely different.
As I awoke this morning struggling to find rest in the Lord, I opened God's Word to Psalms (where I've been "stuck" the last number of weeks as I've so needed to hear the reassuring words of comfort and encouragement and hope!) and read Psalm 107:
"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever! Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom He has redeemed from trouble and gathered in from the lands, from the east and from the west, from the north and from the south.What a comfort to my weary heart to read such timely words! I feel as if we're wandering around, finding no city to dwell in, not sure what road to take - every time it seems we catch some glimmer of hope, that hope vanishes. And yet, should my hope be placed in a job, in steady income, in health insurance? No, my hope should be in the Lord, the Creator of the Universe, the Maker and Sustainer of all living things. Instead of looking around at my current circumstances, I need to cry out to the Lord, the Great Deliverer. He can lead us by a straight way to the city we are to dwell in. His love is steadfast and His works are wondrous. I have nothing to fear.
"Some wandered in desert wastes, finding no way to a city to dwell in; hungry and thirsty, their soul fainted within them. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He delivered them from their distress. He led them by a straight way till they reached a city to dwell in. Let them thank the Lord for His steadfast love, for His wondrous works to the children of men!
-Psalm 107: 1-8, ESV
Graphic from Allposters.com
posted by Crystal Paine at 7:11 AM
33 Comments:
Something my husband (it sounds so weird to say that...) likes to say over and over is that this world is not our home. I think I need to be reminded of that every so often. The troubles of this world will pass away. God knows what we need, and He will not fail to give good gifts to His children.
We'll be praying for you, and please don't hesitate to ask if you need anything. You have my email, and I know that there are dozens of others who read your blog who also would not hesitate to do what they could to help you. That's the beauty of the body of Christ, I think... you're never alone. :)
Thanks for sharing your heart. Lately, I have been struggling with the same thing - doing things in my own strength rather than relying on Christ.
Be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world!
John 16:33
Be Blessed, Crystal, knowing that God will work this situation out for the greater good!
I am so sorry that you are going through this tough time. You certainly have it worse than me. If I ever start to complain about my situation, I think of you and some of my other friends who are going through struggles. My sister is going throught a similar situation as you are. I will be praying for you and your family.
Congratulations, Harmony. I take it you are just married. BTW, you have a beautiful name. I have added Harmony in my very long list of girl names that I like.
I ditto what harmony said. I know that God is faithful, He will never leave you and your family with less than you need. This is a time when He can exemplify His comfort and peace to you and your family. Just lean on Him and you will be blessed.
You and your family are in my prayers.
Crystal,
Here's a little bit of encouragement from one of my favorite Psalms;
"The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.
Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand.
I have been young, and now I am old; yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread." - Psalm 37:23-25
I know it is hard to rest in the middle of uncertainty, but God is faithful. I have been in your shoes, and speak from personal experience. We had moved to a new state when my husband's job ceased. We knew practically no one, had no job for months and no health coverage when we found out I was expecting our first baby (after over a decade of waiting, I might add). We learned a lot about patience and trusting during that time. God provided for our needs and I am confident He will provide for you. It might not come packaged the way you expect it to, but He will provide. Hold on to Him - He will never let you down.
Your sister in Christ - K. Hewett
Thanks for being so honest about your struggles. I think that is one of the great things about the Christian faith, that we can be honest about how we feel, especially before the Lord, who knows and understands us.
When we were married at first, my husband had just finished a Masters degree and there just seemed to be no jobs about. In fact, we moved every 6 months, living in rented acommodation, until we eventually settled. It just seemed like one of those things that was never going to happen, and we were always going to be moving and unsettled.
These things do try our faith a great deal, but thankfully God is a present help, and He is always strong, even when we feel very weak in ourselves.
Love Karen
Crystal, you and Jesse and the "not totally confirmed job" have been in my thoughts this week especially. The situation kept taking me back to what we experienced with a company we "thought" hubby had been offered employment. He had done the interview out of state(they even paid for the family with motel and food so we could become familiar with the area), went for the physical and drug testing, and was even given the income and benefit offer he accepted. The company was waiting for the drug test results and we were waiting for the call as to the start date...which seemed to drag out and then didn't come. Upon calling the human resource contact, he was told another individual had the particulars as to why they were rescinding their offer. That individual never was able to be reached and we could only wonder to this day if homemade poppyseed rolls we'd eaten muchly prior to the blood draw might have been an issue. Overall, God had something MUCH better in mind for our family and we're glad we didn't put much time or thought energy to the bump in the path. We view it as a valuable experience with interviewing, etc. in preparation for what God had orchestrated afterwards.
We are to trust and rest in Him yet we are His workmanship as sheep that need a Shepherd. Aren't you glad that what Satan can drum up in our thoughts or even what we can fall short concerning still being wrapped in an imperfect earthsuit of flesh is what He will keep working toward our good? All the circumstances, whether valley or top of the mountain" we follow Him through are what He uses to keep us ever minded that He is Lord...and Savior. The Lord is our Shepherd, amen?
praying you get some good news soon
Hugs
Mary, mom to many
Well hey there......My opinion is this: I am glad you are going through this. You are growing and changing.....putting what you KNOW into real LIFE. Some people may think I have no compassion, but you know me Crystal and so you know I FEEL for you at this time. I have found that living day by day IS really the way we are to live - according to our God. Just think about it this way and I am sure you already do: You are both children of God. You both search Him and seek His will. How can anything go "wrong"???? He has you exactly where He wants.....wants all of us....and that is submitted to Him.
Although it really stinks at times and you would rather be drug behind a truck over glass, just hang on, keep reading Scripture, trust, obey, trust again, obey, give up, re-group, trust again, obey.....get it???? Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day and so on.
You know my story right now. I mess up more than I do it right. But, that is why we have Jesus....to pick us up when we have done wrong, to drag us along when faith is waning and to give us hope.....
So with words you probably already know.....I hope your day goes well and you find joy in just being. Think of 10 things to be really thankful for and that will get you going.
One thing I always tell Pat: Work the issue, don't worry it.
Love and prayers to you and Jesse, C.
I pray the Lord will send the right job for Jesse very soon.
Elissa
It's kinda funny nobody is saying "Crystal, could God be dealing with you and hubby over some sin or disobedience in your life?" Cause I guess that kinda thing only happens to other people. Maybe you should rethink your judgemental condscending attitude you've displayed here and allowed others to display here when other Christians disagree with your views.
Crystal, I don't have any words of great wisdom on trusting God! It's something I'm ALWAYS failing at, unfortunately, and having to work at! But I'll say a prayer for you guys today. I definitely know what that stress and uncertainty feels like, and it's not fun.
Thanks to everybody else who shared verses and encouragement! Very good reminders for all of us.
I think the hardest thing about situations like this is watching your husband struggle. You can tell he's trying to be strong & provide in the way he so badly wants to, but you feel so helpless watching him agonize. Whenever my husband and I are going through a hard time, I think that is my biggest struggle...letting him work through the problem w/out me always trying to make it better. Sometimes, situations just are what they are and we can't see why right now.
I will be praying for all 3 (4) of you.
:)
Anonymous (names are much appreciated here, by the way!), that is one thing I've been pondering over and over - am I missing something God is trying to teach me? I've really been seeking the Lord on this to reveal sin in my heart and life if this is why God is taking us through this time because I know that is sometimes why He takes you through trials - to prune away the dross in one's life, something I definitely have a lot of.
If I have ever displayed a judgmental attitude here or elsewhere, I trust you would do the right thing and come to me to share this with me. I always appreciate the faithful rebukes of friends. I need them for the shaping of my character, even when it hurts.
Thank you all so very much for your kind words of encouragement - they have truly lifted up my heavy heart. I'm so thankful for all of you.
Megmarc: You so hit the nail on the head - I just want to do something to ease Jesse's burden and "make things better" for he has so much more responsibility on his shoulders, and yet, there is nothing I can do right now besides wait and pray and try to stay calm and contented to encourage and build him up. The last thing he needs is a wife dragging him down.
"These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. For they that say such things declare plainly that they seek a country. And truly, if they had been mindful of that country from whence they came out, they might have had opportunity to have returned. But now they desire a better country, that is, an heavenly: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: for he hath prepared for them a city." - Hebrews 11:13-16
"But ye are come unto mount Sion, and unto the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to an innumerable company of angels, to the general assembly and church of the firstborn, which are written in heaven, and to God the Judge of all, and to the spirits of just men made perfect, and to Jesus the mediator of the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling, that speaketh better things than that of Abel." - Hebrews 12:22-24
To God be all glory,
Lisa of Longbourn
Crystal, I can so totally relate to you. Almost 9 years ago, my husband felt led by the Lord for us to move from TN to CO. He had lost his job and we were had no idea what was going to happen. A few weeks before we moved, and 3 weeks after he had lost his job, Brian go a job in CO!! We were so excited! God has blessed us again and again. Then, recently, God showed us He wanted us to move again. It was HARD living out of boxes for almost a YEAR as I was submissive to my husband in packing our house, yet with no clear direction from the Lord. yet, He moved (AND QUICKLY!) We sold and bought houses within 3 weeks!! The people who moved into our old hose were so blessed, and we were so blssed moving into our current house. It seems this is the YEAR of God growing His children. I wish I had more words of comfort and wisdom than just practical experience. But hopefully seeing God work in someone in a similar situation might help you. I dunno.
Anyways, I also wanted to share another link on saving money (I sent you the Dollar Stretcher site ) This site is called Living on a Dime http://www.livingonadime.com/
Remember Zeph. 3:17! This verse has comforted me through many hard times.
-Melody
I've been thinking a lot about you all over the past week and pray that your husband will have a job soon. Thank you for being honest and sharing what is on your heart. That is what christians should be able to do with one another. Maybe if Anonymous spends enough time on your site she will realize that none of us are perfect, nor should we pretend to be. She seems to have some anger in her heart and could benefit from all of our prayers.
Will keep praying for you .My husband will be out of work as of December 31 when his contract ends.
Crystal,
I love your blog and you are such a kind and generous person. I think I have said before that you and I don't even share many of the same beliefs, but it doesn't matter. God led me to your blog for some reason over a year ago and I have been a faithful reader ever since. NEVER have I seen you be judgemental to others. Actually, I have never seen you to be anything but kind, loving, caring, and a great wife and mama! Please don't let the anon. poster get to you.
I will be praying for you. I know somehow in the end, it will work out. God has a plan for you guys and if you just keep your faith, he will reveal it when the time comes.
Crystal,
We, too, are in a time of transition, and wondering what God's direction is for our lives. I feel certain that someday (maybe sooner, maybe later) we will look back and say, "Ah, so THAT'S why God did that!" But it is such a struggle at times to live by faith. I can totally relate. Hang in there!
Love,
Valerie
Crystal,
I recently found your sight a few months ago and have benefited beyond belief. God is so good. Please don't let Anonymous discourage your ministry. If they don't have the decency or respect to email you privately to work it out, then I would take it with a grain of salt and pray for their heart of wrath.
On another note, My husband is also finishing school and will have his degree as an RN this spring and will continue on as a Nurse Practitioner or Nurse Anesthetist. We have gone through much and you rec'd my email about my own sin where finances are concerned. God is good and we are now much better stewards than in the past. We still have so much to work on and aren't perfect in any way.
We are in Ohio right now and doug has had a couple of interviews back home in Upstate NY where the prospects look good. I too, have been confused and scared about where God will plant us. I love our family and want to be near them, but there are issues concerning the hospitals up there and it could make things pretty bad where jobs and living are concerned. However we love Ohio where we've been for the last four years of our marriage. I think not knowing is the worst. I'm a planner and I suppose you could say trust isn't very good with much of anyone...it's taken this long for me to finally trust and feel at peace that God has gotten us thus far and will see us through no matter where we end up.
So continue packing in faith and pray together that God will speak BOLDLY to your direction.
Lots of love sweet sister!
Rebekah
I really feel for you in your situation at the moment.When things get tough I often think of Jesus' disciples, when they were challenged & given the option of walking away "Where else would we go?".No matter how bad things can get in the natural,I know that so long as I have Jesus, it'll be OK.I read a poem once about how our life is like a tapestry-from down here all we can see is the messy underside. Sometimes we have to wait till Heaven to see what a work of beauty God is creating in us, as he allows us to be tested & challenged.
Hang in there & don't listen to anonymous-she can't have been reading your blog for long to come up with that assumption.
Claire
I've been in your shoes! The house was packed and we knew not where we were going to move only that we were moving since the house was sold. Through it all I kept telling people "God knows what is going to happen and I'll be SO glad when He tells hiSteve"! Was it hard...at times. Did God bless...abundantly. It was exciting and it stretched my faith all at the same time. My brother has often reminded me that husbands do not want to be rescued by their wives. It's hard to stand by but it's what has to be! I know you are holding Jesse up in prayer. Our job is to pray...God fights the battle. Blessings to you.
I'm not sure why people like anonymous continue to read this blog when they obviously dislike it. Also, I just have to say that I have never once read a post that was judgmental of any of the blog readers/contributors. I myself have asked a bunch of questions (too many, probably!) that Crystal has posted for me so that I could get advice from other women. Never once has she blown me off or mocked the questions I asked.
Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. I think that sometimes we do lean on our own understanding and then expect the Lord to take care of us where we are. And He will, but he can only do so much in our circumstances if we are not completely surrendered to Him. Our Father is a getleman and will not make us do anything. If He could, He would make everyone get saved, but we do have free choice. He guides us, and we must follow. Sometimes it seems to be blindly following because we don't know the next step, but if we take the step He has already given us, then we can be sure that He will continue to guide us and give us more steps. Now that is trust and obedience. No matter how strange it may seem to ourselves or others, we must be willing to obey at all costs. Thank you for your web site. I am a stay at home mom of two and I am planning to homeschool, but this is all sort of new to me. My husband comes from that background, but I see the beauty of family and I believe you have a good picture of how God intended for us to care for our husband and children. Thank you.
Crystal,
The last few years have been so difficult for my family and I. There has been one twist and turn after another. There have been so many times that I was so sure that things would go a certain way and they went just the opposite. We had grown so used to a certain income and a certain job position and now we are learning to live with more people on much less.
We have had one disaster after another...including a daughter that had heart surgery, having to take care of my mother in our tiny home while she recovered from surgery, our car being totalled, credit card fraud, etc.
Through all, Jesus is teaching me to be content where I am. I would never travel a path other than this very one that he has placed me on because I know that it is through all these things that I am being grown.
I continue to tell myself that the Bible says that He loves the birds in the air, how much more does He love me? I sit outside and watch them and know on my most uncertain days that He loves me and He has a plan.
I think that they key to getting through tough times is to truly not think too much about them. As silly as this may sound, I'm such a "planner" and it really bothers me to not be able to know my next step. I am learning that though other times I thought I knew what this next step was, I've never really known...my husband could have lost his well paying job long before we did...but in all God will be glorified. With each twist and each turn, I have grown and learned something new about Him, myself, my family and my friends. I have learned to just be content, just "being", not to worry about tomorrow because we will never really know anyway.
Try and not worry. Try and lean on the only one who really has a plan. This is only a season, and it will pass. Try and learn all you can, even during the suffering. A pastor once shared with us that though these hurdles seem like huge boulders in our path right now, we would eventually look back and see that they were just tiny pebbles and we did walk on.
May He give you comfort. May He give you peace. May He lead you along the path He has set before you and may He be glorified in all.
With love and my prayers,
Tracy
May God continue to comfort you daily with His word.
I'm praying for you sister.
~~~Amy B.
Crystal, this is completely off of this topic, but I wanted to say that I was glad to see the advertisement for "The Bowery" in NYC. I worked there one time while I was on a mission trip in New York City.. it is the place where Fanny Crosby spent much of her time and wrote "Rescue the Perishing." While at the Bowery, I got to play piano for the lunch worship services, which was a blessing. The Bowery really IS doing a great work for God in NYC, and there were plenty of stories to support it. It would be a worthwhile cause - I can attest! Thanks for allowing it on your site. :)
New jobs and life changes are rarely easy. Its only become apparent to me in the past few months, that you really need family and friends, and people to cling to, and those people are by far more valuable than jobs, and careers.
It's a rough world, and its very unforgiving. I've been jerked around by jobs and people, and bosses. It's a rough go, and it's rarely fair, you just have to remember that...in the end...it's not personal, although when it affects your family, it's hard to feel that way.
You've got a friend in MO, and if you or your husband need anything, you need only contact.
Jessica
Remember, Chrystal, that God sees the "big picture." Our life is like a puzzle and God knows how all the pieces fit together. He is all knowing and we have to be all trusting. We have to sit back and place our lives in His hands, knowing that He knows what is best for us.
The more problems I have, the more I have learned to trust! We had three major health issues with my husband. The first occured in Feb. (shoulder problems which required therapy) The second was hernia surgery in April. (We lived 8 wks. on $120 per week. We thank the Lord for wise savings so we could pay bills, mortgage, and buy groceries.) The third was on Dec. 12. My husband broke his ankle going into work. He needed surgery and 3 pins placed in his ankle. Once again the Lord has supplied. I know in my heart that the Lord will get us through this.
I believe sometimes that the Lord has us go through waiting periods and difficult times to make us stronger and more trusting. There is a reason why this is happening in your life. Trust Him!!! God has the answers, and His way is ALWAYS best!
Ruth, PA
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