Frugal Fridays: Transitioning from two incomes to one
I have been so encouraged by reading over the different things you write about especially living frugally and living on one income. I would like to hear any wisdom you may have for my current situation. My husband and I have been married for about a year and a half. We are actually due to have our first baby this coming February. My husband and I have felt convicted since we were engaged that as soon as the Lord blessed us with children I would stay home. Since we have been married I have worked full time and have carried the most consistent income. My husband, just recently, with the Lord's leading, signed on with a commission based mortgage company. We have felt peaceful about this career and feel that this is where the Lord wants us. However, the term "commission-based" says it all. We are not ever sure of what the income will be or when it will come.Hi, S! I can't say I'm any expert on giving financial advice, but I'm happy to share my thoughts on your situation based upon what my husband and I have learned the last few years.
For now I continue to work, but come the middle of January I will no longer be working. We have lived by a pretty strict budget for the past 8 months, however have enjoyed some luxuries in our budget that are hard to try and get rid of like eating out. My husband and I both grew up in unbelieving homes and both became believers in college. Needless to say we have some bad spending and neither one has ever seen a truly "frugal" life. So with that I have some questions for you: What do you or did you do for health insurance? We do have debt- mortgage payment, car loan, student loans. Thoughts on this? What did your budget look like when you were living on $1000 a month? Thanks for listening and I welcome any wisdom you have. -S
First off and most importantly, you mentioned upfront that the Lord has convicted you all that you would stay home after having children. Remember that God never calls anyone to something which He will not in turn equip them for. This should serve as a tremendous comfort to you. No, it doesn't mean you will be living in luxury, but it does mean God will provide your daily bread. Obedience to His commands in our life always brings His blessing. So, keep that ever in mind and constantly look to the faithfulness of the Lord to take care of you. He will never leave you or forsake you.
As far as practical recommendations go, my advice is to completely cut off every form of debt in your life (i.e. Do not allow yourself to use your credit card for anything else and do not take out any new loans on anything). Rip up your credit cards and switch over to a cash only/envelope system. Write down your basic living costs (tithe, first, then basic living essentials) and take out enough money per pay period to pay each of these (stick the cash in individual envelopes and only pay for things out of the envelopes). While you are still working, use all of the excess money to pay off every bit of debt you possibly can. I have no idea how much debt you have, but I do know that the sooner you get your debts paid off, the easier your life will be in terms of finances.
My husband and I purposed to stay out of debt through law school when we got married and it was the best financial decision we ever made. It isn't always easy, believe me, when you are living in a small place, have one old vehicle that seems to be on its last leg, and all your friends are buying homes and nicer cars. We are currently in a situation where my husband will be out of a job in less than four weeks and he's not been able to secure any new employment yet. We are so thankful we are free from debt-bondage so that even if he doesn't find work for awhile, our bills are quite minimal. When he was finished with law school and passed the bar, we were so tempted to move into a nicer place since we are pretty much bursting at the seams where we are. We very much considered taking out a loan to buy a home, especially since he had a good job and it seemed like we could easily afford the monthly payments of a decent home. However, we didn't feel a peace about it and now we know why. Seeing how easily life circumstances can change has really caused us to further resolve we will not go into debt unless our life depends upon it - even to buy a first home. I share our personal experience for the young people reading this who maybe have not thought too much about debt before. Avoid it, if you can at all possibly avoid it.
Second, start working to cut every expenditure you can. Write down all of your expenditures and start eliminating those which you can live without (cable, internet, cell phones, any monthly subscriptions, eating out, convenience foods, movie rentals, etc.). You might be surprised at how much you can cut just by evaluating every expenditure in light of, "Is this a basic necessity?" After you've pared down to the basics, then start evaluating those basic necessities in light of, "Is there some way I could reduce this cost?" How about moving to a smaller home, learning to grocery shop frugally, getting rid of one car, bartering for hair cuts, making gifts instead of buying them, shopping at thrift stores and garage sales instead of buying things new, and so on. Start thinking outside the box. Instead of thinking, "This will never work." Ask yourself, "How can we make this work?" You might be amazed at what some creative thinking can cook up!
Third, after cutting expenditures, make a budget based upon the least possible amount you can live on and try to squeeze this out of your husband's commission check (once again, use the cash only system here). Pray that God would bless your husband's efforts and multiply them and give you creativity in making the most of his hard-earned income. Live on the least you can and if you have leftovers, put those towards savings (for a particularly lean time) and towards extra payment on your mortgage. (My husband recommends that, like Dave Ramsey says, you set up a $1000 emergency fund first and then put all of the extra towards paying off your debts.)
Fourth, (if your husband is supportive of this) start thinking of things you can do from home to help bring in extra income. Since you are having a baby soon, please don't go overboard with this, but just keep it in mind and start praying for direction in this. Look around your home and find some items you are no longer using and sell them on eBay. Consider what skills you have which you could put to use to earn money during your baby's naptime. (Though for the first three months at least, I say to nap when your baby naps. You'll be needing all the extra sleep you can get!)
In answer to your other questions, you can read detailed specifics of our law school budget here. Obviously, what worked for us, won't necessarily work for you, but it can hopefully be a help to you in thinking through expenditures. As far as health insurance, we did lots of research on this and for the first part of our marriage, we were on student health insurance. We are currently on health insurance through my husband's employment. Could your husband get it through his employment? Check into that and other options in your area. You might also consider health insurance alternatives (such as Medi-Share or Samaritan Ministries), if you do not have any major medical concerns. I've heard of many who have very much benefited from these and it was something we looked into, but it wasn't going to save us money compared to our inexpensive student insurance, so we have never gone with it. I know some families have opted to not have health insurance at all. This was something we also considered and came close to doing at times, but we were always able to pay our bills for it, so we never dropped our plan.
Most of all, never take your eyes off the Lord. Claim His promises and step out in faith. Don't try to do anything in your own strength. Continually ask Him for guidance and direction and constantly be praying and discussing this with your husband. And see God do great and mighty things on your behalf!
I'd love to hear from others of you who may have been in a similar situation as this couple and your thoughts and input for them.
Related Links: My husband highly recommends you check out the information and resources on Dave Ramsey's site and also Crown Financial Ministries.
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posted by Crystal Paine at 2:17 PM
13 Comments:
Crystal, this post could not have come at a more appropriate time. My husband and I are looking towards getting rid of our debt ASAP so I can be free to not work full-time (I'd really like to devote some my time while we're pre-children to ministry opportunities). We have a vague idea of what direction we want to go, but not sure of how to get there! Thank you so much for your thoughtful advice, and I know that I will show this post to my husband when we sit down to scrutinize our budget.
Great topic. We were in a similar situation when we first married. We purposed from the start that I would stop working when babies came, and that we would always live on my husband's salary. Since it took us a while before we got pregnant, we had time to use my salary to pay off the car, school loan, and credit card debt we started with. Then we saved up a chunk to buy a house, although we did still take out a mortgage on 70% of it. Finally, in the few months before my daughter was born, we put aside a chunk of savings.
I would second all of Crystal's suggestions, except maybe to suggest that you have more than $1000 in your savings just in case, since you do have a mortgage payment to make even in the lean months. We were grateful that we had saved money rather than spending it because my husband has been looking for a job since August and we are now expecting again, and our savings has allowed us to continue eating and paying the bills (although we did trim the budget way down again).
Another thought - I think it's really a blessing to a man and also very respectful and honoring of him when his wife commits to keeping his home on what he brings home, no matter how small. I decideded to never make my husband feel bad about things we don't have, and I try not to ever complain about things we need or want. I do look for ways to be frugal and still keep things nice. Nice doesn't have to mean expensive, usually it just means taking more effort. Attitudes are hard to adjust, but it's worth it to be a blessing to your husband.
There are many hard transitions from professional life to being a full-time mom and living on one income, but it's nothing if not a great lesson on trusting the Lord and looking to Him for your care and fulfillment!
Since I'm probably the only reader who does not also have a blog, I leave my Frugal Friday tip here in the comment column! My tip is about inexpensive ways to wrap gifts. I often use wallpaper torn from the sample books that places like Home Depot are getting rid of. Usually you just have to ask when they are getting new wallpaper sample books in and if you may have one of the outdated ones. I also save all those fingerpainted pictures that the little ones make and use them as wrapping paper. I re-use wrapping paper by opening the package carefully and not just ripping the paper. I've never required my children to do this but they seemed to do it of voluntarily most of the time!
Those shiny helium filled balloons make nice wrapping paper if you ever get one! When the balloon starts to deflate, carefully cut a slit in the "neck" of it to let the remaining air out and then slit it open at the seams. My husband gave me an "I love you!" balloon for Valentine's Day many years ago and I've been re-using it as wrapping paper to wrap gifts for him ever since!
I also like to use something other than paper to "wrap" gifts sometimes. For example, a pretty box that stationery or teabags come in makes a pretty gift box as well as do cookie tins of all shapes and sizes!
A final way to save on gift wrap is to make "permanent" gift boxes. Years and years ago I gift wrapped several boxes, wrapping the box and the lid separately, and then covering the box and the lid with clear contact paper. These gift boxes have lasted for more than 18 years! I just keep them in a storage box when not needed.
I make it a game to see how many years I can go without buying a single sheet or roll of wrapping paper and I honestly cannot remember the last time I did!
I have an idea that has helped us tremendously.....try to get your power bill and propane bill etc. .. on a "budget plan"!!!! It was costing us $250.00 every 3 weeks to get propane delivered.....We got on their payment plan and now only pay $118 per month. I know it doesn't lower the cost of fuel, but it does free up quite a bit of extra $$ that we can use each month for other things..... We only use propane for 5 months out of the year, but now it is spaced evenly over the 12 month period....same with our power bill. Another thing for us is we've been wasting so much fuel because we have to turn the stove off & on as we feel the temp. is comfortable or not... My husband checked into a remote that we can set for the desired temp. ..... He figures it will save up to 25% of our fuel per month....The remote was going to cost almost $200.00 retail...He found it new on E-bay for $90.00!!
I think the most important thing you all forgot was for her and her DH to continue to pay their tithe no matter what. Give back to God what is rightfully His. He will take care of you anyways, but I just wanted to mention to not skimp on the tithe. ;-)
When me and DH married 5.5 years ago, he had 3 college loans equaling close to $30,000, I had a car payment for $3,000 that I was paying on (he didn't drive nor own a car then), and I had a credit card with about $1,000 racked up and neither of us had savings (this was before I got saved by the way. I got saved 2 months after I got married). Exactly one month after we married I got discharged out of the Army...oh joy...I was on unemployment for awhile, then worked delievering newspapers and as an assisntant cook in a school until in January 2003 the Lord called me to be a Keeper At Home. DH about hit the roof when I told him. He was so scared we wouldn't be able to pay the bills and stuff. But I told him I got to do what God wants me to do.
Sure there were times when we barely had money for food or gas, but that was due to my foolish ways(I really didn't learn about being frugal till 2004), but we still paid our tithe regardless.
Anyways, fast forward to 2006, the present. All 3 college loans are paid off, there is no credit card debt, we purchased a new car in 2003 for $16,500 because our other one, well, ummm, we won't go there, but anyways, we only owe $3,000 left on the car we bought in 2003, plus, our savings account for the first time ever has 5 digit numbers in it! And yes, I am still a Keeper At Home. ;-)
I am not posting this to boast, but to share my story and to show you how God has brought us thru. Plus, I love coupons and learning new ways to be frugal.
As far as health insurance goes, DH is in the Army, so ours is free, however I could use some tips and ideas and maybe a cheap company to go to because DH is getting out of the military the end of 2008 and so we are preparing for transition from military life to civilian and any advice would be useful.
But yes, living on one income isn't that hard at all. There may be trying times but it's worth the sacrifice.
God Bless.
Here is another idea that my husband and I do to save $$ on the gas bill. It may not work for family's with small children but it has worked for just me and dh:
We live in Michigan so we have to run the heat for at least half the year, usually. This may sound silly but we shut the heat right off at night and just snuggle up in our big comforter. We've never been too cold, and I've been getting up 1/2 hour early to turn the heat up in the morning so it warms up before anyone has to shower or anything. Also, if we are leaving the house, and it is at least 60 degrees inside we will shut the heat right off until we get home. Just don't leave it off if you will be gone for a long period of time or your pipes can freeze. I don't have my own blog either so I thought I'd share.
Excellent advice, Crystal!
I am praying that Jesse finds a new job soon. I definitely know what it's like to be unemployed, but with your financial skills you should be ok on unemployment payments for a little while. I was on unemployment for a year back in 2002 and I managed to *save* 3000 dollars! That's right, I lived off unemployment, met all my expenses, and still managed to sock away some money. I am so thankful for my wonderful parents who taught me to be frugal - I learned by example.
Absolutely, Dawn Marie - I consider tithe to be a "basic living expense" and thanks for reminding me to clarify that! (I had that in the original post and then when I rewrote stuff, I realized it got chopped out - It was one of the first things I mentioned paying - I'll go add that back in!). Like I said in our law school budget, tithe is the very first thing we always take out - no matter what. And we tithe off of our gross not our net. It's all God's money anyway!
Hi Crystal, I really liked your topic today. My husband and I are trying to follow Dave Ramsey's "Snowball Effect" of paying down our credit card debt. It is hard work, but when you finally get one paid off and don't have to worry about it anymore, it is one of the best feelings. I also agree with only using cash. My husband and I got rid of all of our credit cards and have not used them for anything for the last 3 months. It definitely takes some getting used to!
When I was first starting out (and 8 years before I was saved) I worked full time as a checker at a grocery store and went to school. I was so happy to be out on my own in my little rented room that I did not really care about all the material things I did not have. It really did not seem like a big deal.
* A disclaimner, very ashamedly I will tell you, this would be much more difficult for me now*
My prayer for those that read this is that they think carefully about all of the things that people usually think are nessecary to have in order to be happy. If we have a roof over our heads, food to eat, and a place to lay our heads at night, we are better off than many people on this earth. God really honestly will take care of us. He CARES about us.
Take Care,
Trixie
Trixie
Crystal, you are always such an encouragement to me in this area. I hope you are doing well and I'm praying that Jesse's job search is going well. Blessings, Emily
Great topic Crystal. We also did the same. When were still engaged we started working on paying off our debt. We pared down to one car (my husband has a truck provided by his work) that was paid of but then that died and we had to buy a new one. We were disappointed but God is not limited. When I became pregnant we started saving as much as we could because we knew I would quit. We stuffed it all in savings and that helpd during the first year when I was floundering on how to help out in the home arena
I've now been strictly a SAHM /WAHM for about 3 years and all our needs have been met.
In the beginning I would do what I could to earn a few extra dollars from home. I did some selling of excess on ebay which is I think one of the biggest ways SAHMs make a little extra money. But now we survive solely on my husband's salary while my ventures (http://www.homemakingorganized) work to get off the ground.
We put excess in savings when he has overtime and it's always enough for big car bills or what have you.
Ask God to bless you to see what you can do from home. My sister has been a WAHM for 14 years and she gave me advice for doing a little stuff from home. We now support each other and give encouragement.
And we tithe. Don't forget this. Pay that that thous has vowed. God loves a cheerful giver.
Being a SAHM is the hardest job you'll ever love. God will bless you for putting Him first and then sacrificing for your family. There is a lot on the in
Crystal, I'm so glad you gave Dave Ramsey's site! I was just thinking as i read the question, he would be an excellent person to ask about how to budget with variable/commission income. He was in the real-estate biz for so long and I've heard him tell how they did it, with the ups and downs in income. I just couldn't remember how specifically!
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