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Officially Disqualified
From my inbox tonight, which I almost deleted thinking it was spam: Dear Ms. Paine,
I am sorry to inform you that you have been officially disqualified from the "Winner Big Sister" award. Grounds for disqualification include calling your mother's cell phone during your sister's senior recital, which you had been made previously aware of via personal invitation. Check rule #317 in your big sister's guidebook to confirm that "Forgetting enormous events in your little sister's life merits immediate disqualification." Additionally, "Interrupting enormous events in your little sister's life" (rule #712),
while not quite as serious, would in and of itself bump you to probation status. Unfortunately, the combination of the two leaves us no grounds for mercy.
We're sorry for this loss, but are pleased to inform you that Brigette S____ advances to current winner of this award due to your withdrawal. Not only did she remember it was her little sister's recital (having posted the received invitation on her refrigerator where whe could be daily reminded of its impending arrival), but she called her sister AFTER (please note the importance of that word) the recital to ask about the outcome. Furthermore, both she and her husband spent time praying DURING the recital for the
aforementioned little sister.
In spite of your great loss, we are happy to confirm to you that you are high on the runner-up list to receive the "Loser Big Sister" award. If you continue with your present activities, we are very confident that you will be able to claim this award officially very soon. Congratulations and Best Wishes! And just remember, failures often provide a wonderful soil in which maturity can grow out of.
Sincerely,
The Entire Staff of Making-Little-Sisters-Feel-Loved (AKA - Your Big Sister and Brother-in-Law) Yep, you guessed it. My younger sister had her very monumental senior recital tonight and I wasn't there. (Jesse has a final bright and early tomorrow morning, so we were unable to make it). But, not only was I not there, I completely got the date and time wrong. I thought it was tomorrow at 1 p.m. So, yes, not only was I not there, nor did I remember the correct date and time, but I called my mom's cell phone right in the middle of my sister's hardest piece (now, shouldn't I not have to take all the blame because my mom shouldn't have had her cell phone on, right?!). Actually, I called her cell phone three times to be exact. I couldn't figure out why she wasn't answering it (Gratefully, she turned it off after the first time!). She always answers her cell phone. I was just calling to see how everything was going for preparations for the *big day* tomorrow, not realizing that the *big day* was happening right then. Oh well, at least I was thinking about them. But, I didn't get many "brownie points" with that line of reasoning -- as the above note vividly portrays. :)
Frugal Living Tips and Recipes Wanted
After much encouragement by many people and with the blessing of my husband, I'm working on a series of books (which will, Lord-willing, be both in ebook form and printed form) on frugal living. My simple little ebook, Simply Centsible Suppers, received such excellent feedback and so many have been asking for more that my husband and I finally felt God wanted me to make the time to do this. Anyway, I have a lot of different things I could share on frugal living and I have many different frugal recipes, but I know I've barely scratched the surface. Although I will be primarily authoring these books, I'd love to have some choice tidbits from various other contributors sprinkled throughout these little volumes. So, I'm asking for your help. Here is what I am looking for: 1. Frugal Living tips - What are your top three money-saving tips? 2. Frugal Recipes - Main Dishes, Soups, Sides, Breads, Desserts, Breakfast, Lunch, and/or Supper Menu 3. Testimonies of how God provided for you and brought you through lean times. 4. Recommended frugal living books, resources, or websites 5. Frugal shopping tips (grocery, clothing, etc.) 6. Do you have a household budget that you abide by? If so, I'd be interested in hearing the particulars. 7. Anything else that is pertinent to this subject which you think would be important to share in a series of books on frugal living. I know that I'm asking a lot and I don't feel like I have anything much to give in return. But, everyone who contributes will be given a copy of one of the ebooks and if your contribution is included in the ebook, you will receive a printed copy of the book. In addition, you will know that you are blessing and encouraging many families in their quest for frugal living. To submit your contribution, just email me. Questions? Feel free to email me as well. Also, if you know anyone who would be interested in contributing, please feel free to let them know about this opportunity as well. Also, for those who are curious, the book for young ladies is just about finished. We're in the editing stage right now and will be announcing a pre-publication special as soon as we have a cover image and start laying it out. I'm really excited about it and think that it meets a real need out there. Thanks for your patience -- I had to take a break from writing or producing anything new for a year due to adjusting to being a new mom and to focus my energies on some other things. I'm now back into the creating/producing mode and have many things on the "drawing board" which I can't wait to finish! :)
Review: Country Bunny Bath and Body Products
 I had never even heard of Country Bunny Bath and Body Products, until Shannon purchased an ad on my blog a few months ago. Since then, Shannon and I have corresponded some and she graciously sent me a box of products to try a few weeks ago. How fun! If you are looking for a gift to pamper someone, look no further. Country Bunny Bath and Body has just about anything and everything when it comes to pampering. Shannon sent me some salt scrub, the bath oil beads, facial moisturizer, shampoo, body wash, CBB&B's exclusive Lotion Bar (I didn't know that you could make lotion in a bar -- it really works! You can read more about it on Shannon's blog here.), and their Shea Butter lotion. Of all of these, my favorites were the shampoo made with carrot oil (might sound interesting, but it works really well!) and the Oatmeal Milk and Honey Shea Butter Lotion (It makes your hands silky smooth and smells so good!). Since you all know that I prefer things as natural as possible, I wanted to note that although I'm no expert on ingredients, from what I have read, it appears that the ingredients in CBB&B Products are mostly natural, with a few artificial ingredients in some of the products. You can read more about the ingredients here.Inspite of the fact that not all the products are 100% natural, I was very impressed with the products and thought that the prices were very reasonable for the quality of the product. I also was interested to note, in studying more about this company, that it began in a woman's kitchen in 2000 and has now expanded to have representatives all over the U.S.! To purchase any of the products, you can visit Shannon's website.
SuperMom Vitamins
 I've had a lot of inquiries about the SuperMom vitamins I mentioned I'd purchased awhile back. I wanted to wait to comment on them until I'd taken them for a sufficient time to be able to give honest feedback based upon personal experience. It's been almost a month since I started taking them and though I have not had any burst of tremendous, incredible, superhuman energy, I have noticed that my overall well-being and stamina has been improved. This might be in part due to the fact that I had not taken vitamins for close to a year, so my body probably has welcomed the extra nutrition with open arms! At any rate, I would recommend SuperMom Vitamins as I feel they were worth the price and I plan to continue buying them after my 3-month supply runs out. One side note: the pills are HUGE (at least by my definition) and probably not something I could stomach during pregnancy since they are so large. If you have any trouble swallowing pills, you might not want to buy these since you probably would have to chop them up to get them down. :) Aside from that, I really do think these pills have been helpful for me. Now, if I could eat better and be more faithful at getting proper rest and exercise, I'd probably feel really good. Too bad I can't just take some "Exercise Pills" or "Rest Pills." Wouldn't that be nice?! New Little Blessing has started selling them, so you purchase it from them if you are interested in buying them and help support another wonderful business! If you are looking for something less expensive, Valerie commented and said: You can get NOW FOODS Special Two Multi Vitamins 180 Tabs (best value - 90 day supply) at www.bodybuilding.com for $17.89 a bottle. Their shipping is also $5.99 no matter how much stuff you get. I compared the ingredients to SuperMom Tabs, and they're 100% the same. And Carrie said: I did a little research online and the ingredients are the exact same as in the NowFoods Special Two vitamins, which I was able to find at www.wholesalesupplementstore.com, for $19.79/180 tablets. Not sure what their shipping price is like, though. I haven't ordered any yet, but hope to soon! Just some extra links for those of you who like to do your research and get the best prices. I always do my best to try and help you be frugal and wise stewards of your resources! If any of you have started taking these and want to share your own experience -- good or bad -- be sure to speak up. I always like to hear from as many different sources before I make a purchase, so please do share.
I'm a blessed Momma
Kathrynne is growing up and I can hardly believe it. She's 15 months old today. Where did my little newborn go? She is toddling around now (a bit unsteadily -- good thing she wears cloth diapers for extra cushioning for all the times she falls down!) and talking up a storm (both in sign language and English and sometimes both at the same time!). A few days ago, all on her own she had a little devotional time -- She sat on the couch (where we always sit when we read the Bible together) and folded her little hands and bowed her head to "pray." Then, she pulled the Bible and hymn book off the end table and "read" and sang for about 15 minutes. Then, she folded her little hands, bowed her head, and ended in "prayer." It was so adorably beautiful to see her doing this all of her own accord. There are days when I feel like all I do is correct and discipline her for disobeying, clean up messes she makes, and try to come up with something productive for her to do which will keep her occupied and out of the trashcans, toilets, and cleaning products for longer than 25 seconds. But when she does something like the above, or comes up and pats me and says "Momma," or waddles over to me and gives me a kiss, or smiles and giggles with me, it makes all the work worth it. I'm a blessed Momma.
The Answer to the Mystery
Since I don't want our mom readers to lose any more precious sleep tonight and since I really think most of you have better things to do than check my blog every 15 minutes, I guess I'll just have to tell you the answer to the mystery. For those who are still scratching their heads, the correct answer is: I'm going to be an A-U-N-T!*
 Yes, that's right! My beautiful, talented, almost-perfect sister, Brigette, and her husband Eirik, are having a baby. Only problem is that they live in Taiwan right now and so I won't be able to see Brigette when she's all big and pregnant. Since my sisters had such a fun time poking fun at me weighing 25 pounds more than them when I was 9 months pregnant, it's only fair that I get to see her in all her preggo glory, don't you think? Especially since it will be the only time since she was three that she will weigh more than me probably! Oh well, at least I'll get to see her this Summer. (For those who don't know me and my sisters in real life, we are constantly teasing each other about who is skinnier and who is fatter, don't ask me why! Ah, sisters!). And, poor little Wang-Ching (or was it Ching-Wang or Ding-Dong, Brigette? Those Mandarin names are so confusing! No offense to the Chinese and Mandarin-speaking readers out there -- I'm sure you think American names are very weird.) won't get to see his aunt and uncle and cousin until he is a few months old... But, inspite of all of this, I am very, very happy to finally be an aunt. I was the only sister not to be one and I've felt a little left out. :):) *Go read the first clue and look at the first letters of each verse and it should make sense, now. :) Oh, and my apologies on the second clue if you pronouce "aunt" differently than we do in the Midwest. I'm pretty sure our pronunciation is correct. ;)
Ants and Pregnancy?
So, I never quite expected to create such a stir with a simple mystery riddle that I was sure most people would get right off the bat. Nor did I expect that upon saying "mystery" people would synonymously think "pregnancy." No, I'm not pregnant. (I wish -- in God's time!) No, we're not moving -- not to D.C., not to England, not to Antarctica. (Not yet, anyway!) No, nobody's getting married in our family that I know of, at least not anytime in the immediate future -- unless my brother decides to surprise us all or something! No, Jesse didn't finish law school (less than two weeks, though!) or pass the bar (Wouldn't that be nice?! We have about 8 weeks left until he even takes the bar and then we won't find out if he passes until September.) or get offered a high profile job or start preaching at our church or decide to run for President. And no, we're not even starting an ant farm or ant extermination business (Wouldn't that be a novel idea? We could use some help with exterminating some ant problems right now). But, for those who guessed something about ants or pregnancy, you were on the right track...
Thank you, Morgan!
A special thank you to Morgan who graciously whipped up a new user picture for me and then went the complete extra mile and made a new header. It looks so "Spring-y"!
Clue #2
Wow! I didn't know I was going to create such a stir with my little mystery yesterday. So far, we've had 16 correct guesses (two which were wild guesses, but were right, so it still counts. :) The other 14 actually figured out the puzzle). Since so many of you are still stumped, I'd hate to just tell you outright, so here's clue #2 (compliments of Jesse): Proverbs 6:6
Update: We now have 19 correct guesses and some of you that are getting very close to solving the mystery. Jesse is working on finishing up his 20-page paper (due at 5 p.m. today) and I keep having to tell him what the latest hilarious guess was. It is definitely serving as comic relief for him. :)
Solve the Mystery!
Guess what I've been anxiously waiting to tell you? Well, you have to guess.* The answer is in the following verses: A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
Unless the LORD had been my help, my soul had almost dwelt in silence.
Not unto us, O LORD, not unto us, but unto thy name give glory, for thy mercy, and for thy truth's sake.
Therefore Abimelech rose early in the morning, and called all his servants, and told all these things in their ears: and the men were sore afraid.
*If you already know the answer, you are disqualified. (We're on the honor system here -- but I can find out pretty easily whether you know or not -- so no cheating!)
Update 9:00 p.m.: Congratulations to first-time commentor, Christian, for being the first and only person so far to guess correctly. I'm getting a nice chuckle over some of the other guesses! Keep them coming. :) So far, we have four women who have guessed correctly. Way to go, observant ladies!
Pro-life: A Misnomer?
A man in our church recently gave me a copy of a tract he had written, Pro-life: A Misnomer? It's a short and simple read and I encourage you to take a moment to consider the message of this tract.
Here's the opening:
Pro-life: A Misnomer? A misnomer is an improper use or a misuse of a name. “Pro-choice”, for example, is a misuse of a name; for while they give one person the choice as to whether or not they will murder another, they forever take away the possibility of choice for the one murdered. For this reason the term “pro-choice” is a misleading and gross misuse of a name! It is truly a misnomer. But what about the name “pro-life”? Flowing beneath the surface of the pro-life movement is a current teeming with various thoughts, beliefs, philosophies, principles and truths that make the movement what it is; many of which are derived from Scripture. Being pro-life myself, and from my acquaintance with those who would consider themselves pro-life, I do not believe that I would raise any objections at all if I were to assert that the following are four of those Biblical truths that underlie the movement. 1. Life is sacred. 2. God gives life and only God should determine when it ends. 3. God loves the human race in some sense as the bearers of His image. 4. Children are a blessing from the Lord. (Ps. 127:3) Now while many who consider themselves Christians and pro-life would steadfastly agree with these truths in the context of abortion, notice what happens when we bring the very same truths to bear on the subject of birth control: A strange contradiction in the minds and lives of many in the pro-life movement becomes glaringly apparent. ...Read the rest of the tract
What I've been up to...
 As most of you know, I work from home as the Marketing Manager for The Old Schoolhouse Magazine. As such, I often get to be involved in a variety of interesting projects. My latest project to "spearhead" (with lots of help from assistant Nancy) was the Homeschooling the High Schooler ebook. Here's a little blurb on the ebook: In this ebook, we’ve enlisted homeschool parents, homeschooled high school students themselves, and experts to share some tips with you. Our authors share not only the “how-tos” of transcripts, math, science, and language arts but also why they chose to homeschool through high school, some of the opportunities they took advantage of along the way, and the blessings they’ve reaped from keeping their teens at home for high school. This ebook is only $12.45 and I highly recommend it to any parent who is considering homeschooling through high school, or in the middle of homeschooling high schoolers. You can purchase it here.Also, be sure to check out our brand-new Schoolhouse Store -- great homeschooling products, low prices, and free shipping! How much better could it get?And, if you have a blog or website, be sure to sign up for our brand-new affiliate program.
Now Available!
 You can now purchase our ebook, Homegrown Business, on CD! Click here and scroll down to the bottom to purchase.We have many more exciting products in the works, thanks to the encouragement of many of you, so look for some announcements on those shortly. (And, remember, we're always on the lookout for other products suggestions and ideas -- either books already written you think would be good to add to our product line, or products you would like to see us produce.) Thank you all for being such wonderful customers, encouragers, and readers. I'm so blessed and God is so good!
Mother's Day Songs?
Crystal, I wanted to ask if you knew of any songs (or where I could get them) that would be about Mother's or a Virtuous Women to be able to sing on Mother's Day. Any help would be appreciated. -Amanda
Does anyone have any suggestions? I could not seem to think of much so I'd appreciate any ideas. As most of you know, I'm pretty conservative when it comes to music, so if your suggestion is something really contemporary, it will probably not get posted on this blog, since I don't endorse a majority of the contemporary Christian music currently out there. For my futher thoughts on the subject of music, you can read, Taking Every Note Captive Part 1 and Part 2. As an aside, I don't think I did a very good job of explaining myself in some of the posts I did on music, but I still hold to the essence of what was posted in part 1 and part 2. My music standards haven't changed, just why I believe what I believe and how I would present it to others has changed. If I were to do the whole series over again (which I don't plan to do again! I made enough enemies the first time around!), I'd probably approach it much differently. But, you live and learn! I certainly have a lot more living and learning to do!
A Weekend of Encouragement
Jesse, Kathrynne, and I spent part of Friday and Saturday at a nearby homeschool conference. It was a nice break for Jesse from studying, and a wonderful time of fellowship and encouragement. I brought my camera, but I forgot to take any pictures. Oh well! The highlight of the event was getting to hear Greg and Sono Harris speak. Mr. Harris had a big impact upon my parents when they first began homeschooling and how wonderful that he is still around to encourage us second-generationers! Mrs. Harris spoke on "Restoring the Art of Biblical Womanhood" and I believe it was about the best and most encouraging talk on this subject I've heard to date (I wish there was a way to direct you to a link where you could buy a CD -- anyone know if Mrs. Harris has this talk available for sale on CD?). What a wise a Godly "older" woman she is -- a lover of God, a beautiful help to her husband, a Godly mothering role model, and a wonderful encourager to other women. Is it any wonder that she is the mother of Joshua, Joel (married to Kimi), Alex and Brett, and Sarah? Kimi posted on her blog sometime ago a little of what her mother-in-law's talk was about, which you will enjoy reading. Here's snippet: Baking bread, knitting scarves, sewing and spinning wool (all found in the example of the Prov 31 woman), have been made into symbols by the feminists of brainless, oppressed, uneducated women. Henceforth all such home-related activities (cleaning included) were held in utter disdain. This attitude was created out of a rejection of true Biblical womanhood and used lies to promote it. Those who despise handwork such as “working with wool” are not demonstrating a biblical view of the topic, but are instead revealing a worldly view.
In the end, my answer is this: Women can be successful in being godly wives and mothers without knowing how to spin or knit. But they should be using their hands to serve others in the home. Even if one does not choose to learn some of the “old fashioned” skills, those skills should not be looked at through the lens of a feminist, but the lens the Bible affords us. If you are ashamed to take up knitting needles, or have raised your eyebrows at others with them, it reveals a needed heart check. Not because you have to learn such skills, but because a negative attitude towards such skills is not based on Biblical ideas.
"This Is Not Maid Training"
Kim from Large Family Logistics has some wise words in response to someone who accused her of encouraging mothers to be lazy and use their children as maids. It is a good read and well worth your time. I wish more families understood and embraced the concept of teaching your children responsibility. I certainly know that I benefitted a great deal from my parents willingness to instill in me the value of hard work, diligence, and servanthood. Kim says:Many hands make light work. When we work quickly and cheerfully together as a family, then we have time for a trip to the park or a game of ball in the backyard. These children will speed through a chore so that they can read the next chapter in their book because they have time. They are not the children of culture being addicted to all the toys of the current generation. These children are also not tied to the time constraints of the public/private school system. They do not get on the bus at 7:20, come home at 4:10 and then have homework and chores. They have schoolwork to do alone and together as a family and it takes a fraction of the time they would have spent in a public/private school setting. They have time to think and ponder things. They spend their free time building, creating, starting businesses, writing for the fun of it, and searching out answers for the things they wonder about. Their curiousity and love of learning is not squelched because they are taught that education is important, to use their school and chore time wisely, and to use their free time to explore their interests. They are learning to love and glorify God in everything they do because their mothers are teaching them these things all the day long in all of the little things of life. Her concluding paragraph was excellent:Children's work is more than schoolwork and the daily routine of chores. It is a matter of teaching the the principles of servanthood, responsibility, and love for family. You don't want to raise another generation of helpless adults, trained for academia but ignorant of the nuances of household responsibility. This is not maid training, this is life training.
Mothering Teen Sons
I requested permission from Kathy to post her letter. Obviously, I am completely unqualified to answer her questions or give any feedback, but I know that there are other mothers on here which would have some excellent insight. Kathy could really use some encouragement and wise counsel. If you would rather email her privately, please send you response to her directly to me, and I'll forward it on to her. Thank you so much! I have a topic that I would love some feedback on, and as I ask questions, and search for wisdom from other moms I really don't get much response from a truly Christian point of view. My question is about the mother/son relationship. We are Reformed Christians, have always home schooled our children (3), been cautious about what kind of friends they have, little TV, and all that kind of stuff. Our family has always tried to be 'Others-minded', knowing that our love for Christ is first, and He commands us to love our neighbor. Today is my son's 18th birthday, and I am so disappointed in so many of the choices he is making (as is my husband). We feel like we are stumbling around each day trying to figure out how much to let go and how much to draw back in. We don't agree with the "kids will be kids, they'll grow out it" kind of thinking. But right now we look at him and think.."WHO ARE YOU?" He is questioning and challenging us at every point. I'm not sure if this is making sense. It seems like he and I are constantly butting heads. I guess my question from a woman's point of view is, how and when do moms need to back off? We've had a little struggle over the past year and a half. I know he is becoming a man, but how do *I* fit into all of this? Sometimes I feel like I am 'Lording it over him', though I do try very hard NOT to. I know men thrive on respect, and I am starting to see how important that is for our sons also. But how can you respect someone that is making such poor choices? Don't get me wrong, compared to the World's 18 year olds he 'looks' great, but THAT is NOT our standard. -Kathy
More on Couponing
I've been considering jumping back into couponing again for the last little while -- especially since my stash of free items I'd acquired while couponing is almost gone and I just can't hardly bring myself to pay full price for shampoo, cleaners, toothpaste, toilet paper, and other items that I used to get for almost free or pennies. After discussing it with my husband last night, he said he would really like for me to start couponing again. So, I have clear direction now. :) I'm hesitant to subscribe to our local paper just because I don't want to mess with the paper when all I want is the coupons. I'd rather pay just for coupons (maybe that's weird?), get them from other people, or find places where I can get them for free. If I can garner enough sources for coupons, I am considering subscribing to The Grocery Game and trying it out, since I've heard so many raves about it. But, I was wondering, is there anyone who has tried it who didn't like it or found it to be a waste of money? For those who do use it, do you only pay for one store, or more than one store? How much are you saving on groceries and how long have you used it for? Thanks for all of your helpful advice and ideas! I think I learn the most of anyone from this blog!
Coupons
Does anyone on here get their weekly paper and not use the coupon inserts? If so, I'd be very interested in them as we don't currently get the paper so I have no source for coupons and am hoping to start using coupons again for grocery shopping. I'd be glad to barter or pay for shipping. Email me if you are interested. Thanks so much! Also, does anyone use online sources to obtain coupons? (Places where you can print coupons, etc.)
Are You Smiling?
During my quiet time this morning, after I had read God's Word and spent time in prayer, I was writing in my journal and contemplating what specific things I could do today to be a help meet to my husband. As most all of you know, Jesse is under a tremendous amount of pressure with studying for finals and the bar (for those who don't know, in law school, finals are 100% of your grade). In addition, he has two very large projects to finish up and he had to make a presentation on his 20-page paper in class today. Add to that his job and his responsibilities as husband and I'm exhausted even thinking about it. In thinking about practical ways I could be a blessing and help to ease Jesse's heavy burdens, the Lord put it upon my heart to do everything I can to bring joy into his life by smiling and seeking to make him smile. It is so easy for me to get caught up in everything that must be done in a day, that I forget to stop and just smile at my husband. What a difference a simple thing as a smile can make. "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine..." If you haven't done so today, stop and smile -- smile at your husband, smile at your children, smile at your neighbor. Smile and spread the joy of the Lord to those around you. It will be infectious!
Modesty is More Than Outward Appearance
 Guest Blog by Shannon SinclairToday, I decided to wear one of my favorite shirts. It is a blue floral patterned v-neck t-shirt, perfect for the wonderful weather here. I also put on a pair of my favorite old blue jeans, bell bottom style. I grabbed my purse and headed out the door. As I was out and about, something happened. It was as if I was cold, without shivering, and shy without blushing. What was wrong with me? I even met with my counselor and mentioned to her that I had been wearing shirts a bit lower in the neck area due to my goiter, that is sensitive to tight necklaces, high collars, etc. She didn't think there was anything wrong with my shirt. She thought the style was cute, modern.
I then stopped in at an apartment complex that was leasing new units, and saw some one who I had known to be a christian man, very devout, strong values. I felt terribly uncomfortable! As if I should have had a coat on or something. I felt embarrassed. As I left there and then headed home, I realized that what I had felt was vulnerability. Not so much to UV rays, or insects-but to exposing a part of my heart that I don't feel everyone should see.
The part that saves the best, for the very best things. The part that knows better than to let it all show. I didn't look sleazy by any means. Yet, I looked modern. Just as I have lived "modern." Looking back, I am not thrilled with this. I wear my hair and cosmetics conservatively, and have toned the jewelry down too. I love Mary Jane flat shoes, so that is feminine. Looking in my closet (a.k.a disaster zone) I saw several of my denim skirts that I used to wear often. In fact, there was a time when I wore them nearly every day. What happened to me? Sure, I gained a few pounds, but did I lose something too?
Maybe I gave up on myself, because a christian knight in armor didn't swoop me away, my bank account did not increase, and my medical reports didn't improve. I had the attitude that there was no point in paying close attention to modesty, because everyone else wears jeans, and sports the t-shirt bum look, so who cares? No one is coming over, so why bother? Who cares if I go to the corner store looking like a peddler? So what my blouse has a mustard stain, and my hair is stringy. God doesn't judge, right? He looks at the heart? Then a voice tells me; "True, but You can do better!"
Then I think of when we had picture day in school where we put on our best outfit and looked our best. Why can't picture day be everyday? Why should looking good be reserved for certain days? Isn't everyday the Lord's day? If we live in a world where looks are everything, then why can't people strive to look good? I am not talking about looking "in" or "popular." Looking good. Well-groomed, appropriate, sophisticated, intelligent, smart. Those things all define modesty. Knowing that God knows me better than myself. Knowing that he wants me to be regarded as a person who respects myself, and therefore looks respectable.
Who wants to be judged based on how low-cut their top is? Or how curvaceous they appear? I guess I could sum it up with saying that we as christians should be cashmere in a polyester world!
Where the Rubber Meets the Road
 Guest Blog by Glenys Hicks - Wife, Mother, and Grandmother from Australia Have you ever stopped to think about how most of us prepare for marriage and childbirth and then once that is accomplished, we fall by the roadside? How many websites, magazines, articles, CD's etc are there dedicated to these subjects? We are prepared for the BIG DAY: the wedding day, the delivery day- yet how many of us find a sense of disillusionment in life after the BIG DAY has been? We are simply- unprepared! It is not that preparing for one's wedding day or impending birth of a child is wrong in itself, but to focus all one's attention on the BIG DAY and lose focus on the YEARS thereafter is foolhardy. After all, a marriage comes after a wedding and a lifetime of parenting comes after a birth. The years after the BIG DAY is where the rubber meets the road.. So many women put all their attention on their wedding- the preparations, the drama, the dreaming, the romance and the culmination of years of planning and rehearsing in her head. But once married, how many are prepared for the hard work of tending and nurturing that marriage. For marriage is hard work at times and we would be foolish to think otherwise. Let's be honest: how many of us have taken the time to study about marriage as the institution it is- not the romanticised notion but the reality? Often if we have not prepared and studied not only the scriptures on marriage but studied and observed our husbands- we will find ourselves being bogged down by feelings of disillusionment and disenchantment. Likewise, how many of us expectant mothers haven't bothered to read up on childbirth, practised all the exercises and relaxation tips for labour, eaten well and obsessed about ours and our child's health? But how many of us have read up on childraising, education, and marital adjustment and so forth for the years of parenting ahead? It is very short-sighted to place all one's attention on the delivery of a child to the neglect of acquiring knowledge about the raising of that child. After all, childbirth is a day, parenthood is for life! We must equip ourselves and our daughters to be the best wives (not brides), the best mothers (not labouring women), so that they will be well prepared to cope with the reality of life. When the rubber meets the road and they find that their BIG DAYS are followed by years of hard work and effort, they will be women of strength, fortitude and confidence- and they will be wonderful wives and mothers. © Glenys Robyn Hicks -- Visit her blog.
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Recommended Read on Modesty
May I highly recommend all the women and young women who read this blog (and that is the majority of the readers, I hope!) visit the GirlTalk blog and read their excellent 6-part series on Fashion and Following the Savior? This is a subject which can be so controversial in our day and age, and yet, it is so necessary. Pastors can preach all the sermons in the world to the men of their congregation on guarding their eyes and heart and not lusting, but we women need to do our part to protect our brothers in Christ. And, please don't miss their Modesty Heart Check. It is a great starting point for you to examine your wardrobe with -- especially if the concept of modesty is new to you.
Source for Yeast?
Kathrynne and I went shopping today and, as I was out of yeast, I was planning to pick some up at the grocery store. But, I about choked when I saw that the little jar was almost $7. All you experienced homemakers out there can get a good chuckle over this, but you see, I've never bought yeast before. In the last few years, two people had given me large packages of yeast from their co-ops and, because I store it in the freezer, it has lasted quite a while. So, I knew yeast wasn't cheap, but I assumed the little jars were probably a couple of dollars -- not $7! Good thing you only use a little bit at a time! So, I thought I'd ask if anyone has a good source online or elsewhere for good yeast which might not be quite so expensive. I usually use Red-Star, but I'm open to other suggestions.
In the "Home-Stretch"
Jesse was up late studying tonight and I was up trying to help him and got a lot of work done on my cross-stitch project while sitting by his side and trying to keep him encouraged! I'm heading for bed but wanted to jump on here to say one quick thing... As most of you know, we're in the "home stretch" of law school and much has been going on here in preparation for Jesse's finals and the Bar exam. I'm not sure how much time I might have for blogging or answering emails, so thank you in advance for your patience with me if I am slow or somewhat nonexistent for the next little bit. If you think of it, we would appreciate your prayers during the next 10 weeks. The Lord has sustained us this far and I know He will continue to do so, but if the Lord lays it upon your heart to pray for our family, we would so appreciate it. Pray for Jesse to have endurance and diligence and for me to be the help meet that he needs me to be. I feel so inadequate and am totally dependent upon the Lord's grace and faithfulness. Pray for us to have wise management of our time -- for Jesse as he studies and for me as I try to help him as much as possible while continuing on with the other tasks the Lord has given me to do.
Review: Mia Bella Candles
My husband walked in the door a few weeks ago and immediately asked, "What smells so good?" Guess what it was?  My new Mia Bella candle! I've heard of Mia Bella candles for quite some time, but I'd never gotten to actually use one until Gail Wahl ( www.HomeWithSoy.com) so kindly sent me one to consider reviewing on my blog. Wow! I didn't know I could be so impressed or pleased with a simple thing as a candle. But, as a candle aficionado, I'm sold. What is so special about Mia Bella candles? Well, for someone who tends to be a bit crunchy like me, I was excited to find out that Mia Bella's Cleaner Burning Gourmet Candles are made using a proprietary formula of vegetables and other natural, renewable materials. Not only do these candles smell wonderfully and burn beautifully, this is the cleanest burning candle I have ever seen. No wonder they are called "cleaner-burning candles." There is no soot or smoke to be seen -- even when you blow it out. My husband was almost as impressed as I that a candle could be blown out without producing any smoke! The candles come in all sorts of tantalizing scents and compared to my used-to-be-favorite Yankee candles, the prices are very reasonable. For more information, you can read more about the candles here.Update: For those who wrote and ask, the 16 oz. candles are $18.95 and can be purchased online here. And, be sure to check out all the other great products in their store here. If you have any specific questions, you can email Gail.
Life is Short
 I've been too busy doing other fun stuff to blog much today... Kathrynne and I made pancakes for breakfast to have ready for Jesse when he got home (he had to make an early morning run to the post office). You should have seen Kathrynne after we got done... She had flour in her hair, all over her clothes, caked on her hands, all over her face, all over the cabinets. But, we had a blast and hey, flour cleans up easy, especially when you're laughing and giggling together the whole time! Then we cleaned the house and made lunch to take to church tomorrow and fixed some iced tea and made homemade applesauce for Jesse. It was such a nice day that we decided to clean the porch (Don't ask me how long it had been since I did that -- too long!) and once it got all cleaned up, I decided that it really needed some flowers. So we headed to the nursery and found some flowers to plant in a pot. We had to stop at the park on the way home because the tulips are in bloom and we had to get pictures with the tulips. (I'll post the pictures later and hopefully be able to change my very outdated user picture as well, since it was taken last year in the tulips and Kathrynne has grown quite a bit since then!) And now, my little darling princess is sleeping and I'm off to plant flowers, finish cleaning up the kitchen, write a few notes, and get a package ready to send to Taiwan (guess to who?!), and probably curl up with a good book (I've got a stack of those to read!) and a glass of iced tea (it's been in the upper 80's and higher the last few days. I thought we just started Spring? What's with that?!). Hope you are having a lovely day! Don't forget to stop and smell the roses, kiss your children, smile at your husband, and spread God's love to all those around you. Life is short.
Kathrynne Discovers Babies
Cheryl (known to many of you on this blog as C.A. Worcester) brought over her 4-week-old baby boy, Isaac, a few days ago. Kathrynne was mesmerized and couldn't keep her hands off of him!   
Daddy's Little Princess
 Jesse took Kathrynne shoe-shopping the other night and, since Mommy wasn't there, Kathrynne came home with her very own pair of Nikes and a fruit smoothie from Daddy's favorite fast-food restaurant. I just had to laugh. If I had bought shoes for Kathrynne we would have gotten an off-brand, on sale from Payless. But, Daddy's can spoil their little princesses every once in a while, don't you think?!
A Word to Women
If I may, can I encourage all of you to take the time to read this beautiful Word to Women by Kelsie Steele? I was so challenged by it and I know we all need this reminder -- often! Here's a little bit: Before I came to the foreign mission field full time, I tried to take various measures to win the lost both at home and in other countries, such as handing out tracts or befriending lost people and witnessing to them. But since being married, the Lord has revolutionized my view of ministry. Because I am now a wife, my role is one of support. It is my job to back up my husband and help him in his calling as a missionary, not necessarily to be the missionary.
As I walk through the streets here in Ukraine, I often see needs that overwhelm me. Poorly dressed beggars sitting in the cold wind, drunks sprawling on the pavement, stylishly dressed women with long, cold faces, purposeless teenagers with beer bottles in hand. But not only am I unable to reach or minister to all of these people, but I have had to realize that this is not my calling. My job as it is clearly delineated in the Scripture is to build my home, to serve my husband, to keep his castle, fix his meals, and raise his children. To honor and to love him. (Titus 2: 4-5) I fix sandwiches for him when he goes on long road trips to minister in another town. I clean the house so that it is ready for Bible study on Sunday morning with our lost friends. I greet him with a smile when he comes into our house off of the cold, cheerless streets. I write thank-you notes to people who have helped support us so that his time is available for other things. My main purpose is serving my home and my family. (Proverbs 31: 27 “She looketh well to the ways of her household…”)
I am not saying that I am never supposed to hand out a tract, or speak to someone about the Lord and testify of him, or encourage other women in the things of the Lord. Those are and can certainly be part of my work here. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ and have a responsibility to identify with him boldly and to shine as a light in the world. But as I look at the Scriptures, I see that the Gospel as a whole was never committed unto women. The great commission was given unto men, it was the 12 disciples who were sent out to preach in pairs and cast out devils, the church of God was begun and spread by men, and we see consistently that men are given the job of preaching, teaching and leading the church.
Read the whole article.HT to Natalie.
True Freedom is Found in Dependence
 In response to Shannon's letter, Mrs. J sent me an essay she had written, along with this note: That last post was so familiar--I wrote an essay when I was 23 on being single and what I thought were the best ways of fighting against the postmodern mandates. This essay is directed more for women who don't live with their families and are fighting the battles that S.S. and I fight and fought. It might be encouraging to know that when I wrote this, I was living one of the lonelinest life-chapters I have known thus far, so if it sounds prescriptive and preachy, I was preaching to myself.
One more thought: I am convinced that single women (who for whatever reason don't live with their families) are one of the church's most neglected groups. Very seldomly (in my limited experience) are the single women invited to non-single family activities or gathered into family Sunday dinner when they're new at church. My husband spent many years as a bachelor and definitely had many more Sunday dinner invitations than I did as a single woman. Granted, he's more outgoing than I am and there could be many reasons for this, but it seems generally assumed that bachelors need to be taken care of while single girls fall by the wayside. I haven't done any studies; I was merely the new single girl in several churches during my 9 years of independent single life.
So another thing to examine in this issue (for married women) is whether we are reaching out to the single girls in our spheres of influence. However, this by no means is a reason for single girls to wait around until they are invited. I learned that the best way to keep my apartment clean as a single girl (and it still works in married life!) was to have someone over--not necessarily a family with 6 children, but another woman or a couple or a group of students. These things kept me busy, my space pretty, and generated some return invitations! -Mrs. J And, here is her essay, especially for the encouragement for unmarried women: I was, until recently, a single woman. By the accepted standards of Hillary Clinton, Warner Brothers, and Chicopee, Massachussetts, I was completely liberated, independent, and free to be all that I could be! A delightful and comforting contrast to these mandates of independent isolation is God’s Word, which has quite a different idea for the single woman: not independence at all, but total and complete dependence on the things which self sufficiency will never find, nor fulfill. The Christian woman, married or single, will find her liberation in her dependence first on the satisfaction of a deep love and longing for Christ as the only true Bridegroom, second on her family, and third on a vibrant and growing community of Saints. A.W. Tozer speaks of a shrine within all humans, the sacred void which is our need for a Savior, the only true Love. The empty shrine destroys and debilitates all pursuits of happiness on earth, relational, successful, or even sacrificial. Often the loneliest woman is the Christian woman, married or single, because she has neglected the greatest and most vital core of the faith, which is complete dependence on Christ alone, and her desolation is a conscience reckoned with such neglect. Although she has an understanding of salvation and a decent relationship with her church, the shrine will remain void if the deep love and longing for the Savior is not strengthened and maintained. To expect a husband, church, ministry, or workload to fill this need is to welcome nothing short of emotional and spiritual disaster. True satisfaction is only found in the most simple and mysterious wonder of the Christian life: read your Bible, pray every day. He was, is, and will always be faithful to respond. Second to the ultimate and eternal joy of dependence on Christ, is dependence on family—if she is still living with her parents this is easy, but in the postmodern land of isolation the church must play a larger role. Of course the church is our great family and body, but for a single woman, it is wise to invest in one family with whom a closer and more dependent relationship can be formed. Couples with children out of the house are wonderful families, as the companionship is pleasurable for both parties, and older couples have much experience and wisdom that is better shared. For situations where a married woman would approach her husband for counsel, adopted church parents are a God-given gift that should be accepted and enjoyed. While the single woman has the option of whether or not to heed such counsel, the relief of sharing burdens is something to be treasured, and it will be more valued if those on whom she depends know her well and have a close relationship with her. Having established great efforts at total dependency upon Christ as the Sole Soulmate and accepted the guidance and love of an immediate family (provided she does not already live with her parents), the single woman will find that her needs for communal dependency will culminate in a living Biblical church. Some churches are certainly living, but they are not Biblical. Other churches were founded upon the Rock, but have decayed into fossils. A Sola Scriptura longing for Christ will be the greatest aid in discernment, and humility will be an important tool in following the former. A living Biblical environment, which is recognized through a living Biblical relationship, supports and enfolds the single woman in a body. In a healthy body, she can grow even more dependent upon Christ through worship and teaching, accept the guidance and friendship of many older Christians in an extended family, and enjoy relationships with siblings of all ages, depending on her God given gifts and interests. The farce of feminine independence is a deadly weapon that slashes gaping wounds of need in single women. Those who buy into the myth of the urban shopping, leopard toting, coffee sipping, self-sufficient, happy single woman have a long and frustrating search in store. True freedom is found in dependence, and the dependent freedom of the Christian woman is a joyful paradox upon which to meditate daily as we all groan with the earth to anticipate our Bridegroom’s arrival.
The Modern Life is a Lonely Life
I received this very thought-provoking and articulate email yesterday:
Dear Crystal, I read your blog a lot, and while I do not agree with 100% of everything posted, I believe that your messages are tearfully truthful. I have come to realize that my life as a single 27 year old woman, living alone is not my idea of having "freedom" as a 21st century woman. The meals alone, the empty house, the letting cobwebs grow because no one else is here anyways, is more debilitating than any medical ailment, and does not give solitude any value. While education is great, paper diplomas serve little purpose on a wall, when there is no one to share the joys of life with. The old comment that women need men, like fish need a bicycle, has been reinvented over and over in my mind. On the movie Chicken Little, there is a character called "Fish Out of Water." He is the cutest little fellow, and amazingly he walks around like the other characters. He has a special water-filled helmet that goes over his head so he can "breathe" and walk on land! I guess he could even ride a bicycle if the animators wanted him to. What I am trying to say here is that nothing is impossible with God, even a fish competing in the Tour de France, peddling away! Women do need men and men need women. Marriage is not an old-fashioned flop. It is a unique part of God's design for those he created- us. It is not archaic, or traditional even. It is just the way it should be. Like the sun setting and rising, the seasons changing. It is part of living. It makes living worth while. I was recently diagnosed with a thyroid condition as well as a cyst on ultrasound. While I am confident that God is healing me, the human part of me knows what the condition can do to affect fertility. I also have polycystic ovaries-which cause fertility problems. I do not believe in taking fertility drugs, so I know that there is a chance I may not be able to have children. When comments get made about large families, snickering remarks about women being "baby machines." and comments like, "wait till they start walking.." I am upset by it. Because they could easily be on the other side of the fence becoming non-medical experts in the infertility arena. They could be hearing the news of never being able to bring life into this world. I used to think the idea of parenting, was too much in this fallen world. I cried the other day, feeling down in spirit, and asked my Mom if it was really worth it to go through four c-sections, a bitter custody battle, resulting in losing her two younger sons. She told me that no matter what happened, it never changed the fact that she was and still is a mother. Motherhood, like marriage is a state of being as much as a duty or title. Everything is backwards now. People keep telling me over and over that I have plenty of time, that I should focus on getting a career going. Yes, I do have time but it is a precious commodity that once spilled, can never be poured back. The loss can leave one empty, if it is not filled with love. Marriage. Motherhood. It is love shared. Watching Kathrynne grow through your blog posts, seeing the changes in you makes me realize that the important things in life are often the least promoted ones. How many billboards read, "Get married. It will keep you healthy." or "Have a baby! Take the Focus off Yourself." I am certainly not perfect, I don't cook very well, my apartment is dusty and cluttered with papers. Often my bed is not made and dishes are piled up. My laundry is Mount Neverest, that I never quite conquer. I have all this time, and why is my place like this? It is from the absence of what time should be. Sharing, family, unity. I may be pitying myself, yes. Am I alone in this? No. It is an epidemic, worse than any recession or problem. Too many people are too often alone. Feminists rant and rave about liberation, not having a man, etc, etc. They are the most uneducated, ignorant people. They don't know love, like the Duggars know it, or the Paines even. To know love, is to be on top of the world, exhilarated by the sense of a new beginning. Hope everlasting. God, may I be able to experience it like I never have before. Amen. -S.S.
What a Lie!
Since the topic of children has come up today and there were a few questions, I thought I'd re-post something I wrote last year on this blog. We have many new readers now and since I know the majority of you have not had time to review many, if any, of the archives of this blog, I may start posting past entries now and then, if they are pertinent to a subject at hand. Without further ado, here is the post in response to some very scathing comments received concerning the Duggar Family...Our society today has such a low view of children. I've been appalled to receive comments from people saying they think the government should limit the number of children people are allowed to have. This sinful, selfish view of life is a direct result of humanistic philosophy which permeates our society and begins in the public education system. People are trained to believe that me, myself, and I are number one. The general consensus I've picked up on is that children take so much time, work, and effort and cost so much money, that you should do everything in your power to limit your family size. What a lie!
For one, raising children is the most rewarding vocation anyone could have. It is also the highest and most noble calling you can have in this life -- to train and raise the next generation up for the glory of God! If you do not believe this, I urge you to read the Bible through and notice how a multi-generational vision is the pervading message of Scripture. We are to train our children, so they can train their children, who will in turn train their children, and on and on down the line. Of course, it is a lot of work, but the rewards far, far outweigh the sacrifices.
Secondly, having a lot of children does not have to cost a lot of money. Where does the Bible say that children need to have a lot of things or that parents have to pay for a college education for their children? This is another myth we've been fed by humanistic teachers. Children don't have to cost a lot of money and God will provide what you need for the family size He's given you. Giving your children love and quality time (and don't tell me that you can't spend time with your children if you have 16 of them -- Think about it: If a mother stays home with her children and the family is home-centered, she'll have plenty of time to spend with her children. She will be with them, spending time with them all day every day. On the other hand, women who are gone all day long and who give up their mothering responsibilities to other care providers and then spend the extra available time shuffling children all over town will be guaranteed to spend a lot less quality time with their children, even if they only have one or two.) and teaching them Scripture is the best gifts you can give to your children-- worth more than anything money can buy.
There are plenty of alternatives to expensive health insurance. (Check out Samaritan Ministries for one such alternative.) You can grow your own food (and when you have a lot of children, you'll have plenty of helpers for your garden!), you can sew your own clothes, you can assign your children to find the best buys on household appliances as part of their school projects.
A couple hundred years ago, the more children you had, the wealthier you were. Why? Because all members of the family contributed to the family. It was a joint-effort. Today, parents are expected to pay for everything, and often to give their children allowance and extra spending money on top of that. Children should be taught from birth that they are not an independent free-for-all smoocher. They are an integral, needed asset to the family. They should be taught responsibility by having to earn their own money to pay for their own things. When they are old enough, they should be required to participate in helping to run the household (cooking, cleaning, laundry, ironing, fixing things, and so on). I know of five-year-olds who can cook basic meals, clean bathrooms, wash dishes, and do their own laundry.
In our family, once we were old enough to help, we were required to help. It wasn't an option. It was just expected. We learned the value of hard work and that by working together, we could get a lot more done. I think it is almost harder for me to run a household of three with just a baby and no help, than it was for my mom. For years, she never did any cleaning, cooking, ironing, or laundry. Her chief responsibilities were to be a wife, spend quality time teaching us and mothering us, and, as she was able, minister to other women. I'm so grateful that my parents gave us the responsibilities they did from an early age. Sure, I didn't always want to do my chores, but I learned so many valuable life lessons by doing so. My parents were raising us to be responsible adults. And, we got so much more done, working together as a family. We could minister to so many people and do so many things, because we all wo | | |
