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I think I'll read a book instead
Ah, technology! You gotta love it, you gotta hate it, but you can't live without it (at least not if you run an internet-based business!). My computer has been a bear today. First it froze up when I was uploading some things. Somehow in the process of that, my homepage and shopping cart pages were deleted. Then, when I was trying to fix those, it decided to not even let me get passed the first few boot-up windows (sorry, I'm sure there's a geek-term for those, but I'm not a geek). After multiple tries, I finally got back on and was able to figure out how to upload my homepage. But then I couldn't figure out how to upload my shopping cart. And, it wouldn't let me log in to my email program so that I could email my web designer and have her help me. I finally just got on my husband's laptop (where I am typing from right now) and emailed her and she was able to fix the shopping cart. The computer is now completely frozen up and won't allow me to do anything - I can't even get it to let me restore it. Ugh! Oh well, there went my two hours of solid, concentrated business work time during Kathrynne's nap. I think I'll follow GirlTalk's advice and go read a book.
More important than cash and prestige
A standing ovation to CappucinosMom for this great rebuttal to Linda Hirshman:Perhaps Linda Hirshman thinks anyone who gives up prestige and paycheck to stay home and raise their babies is inherently stupid. Maybe she didn't count on the fact that many stay at home moms are educated, articulate, and not willing to take her nonsense lying down.
As to my own thoughts, there is one thing I really don't understand about Ms. Hirshman's position. She seems to believe that a woman should avoid staying at home at all costs, because raising one's babies doesn't involve intelligence, prestige, honor, or money. But surely she doesn't think all women will hold positions of prestige and power if they join the workforce! What about janitors, hamburger flippers, Walmart associates, and truck drivers. For sure, women can do all these jobs. But where is the prestige, power, and I might add, where is the huge paycheck going to come from? What a woman would earn in a job like that might just pay for daycare.
I could easily get a great job at a nice daycare, and ship my kids off to someone else. Then I'd be "feminist" and "my own woman" and "independent" and "honored" (by people like Linda Hirshman). But to what end? Why should I go take care of someone else's kids so that I'm not "bound" to my home and my own kids?
Perhaps people like Hirshman want women to flood the workforce, take over, push the men out of all the good positions, and relegate men to toilet scrubbing and day-care running? That would be the only way I could think of that feminists could get their desire for all women to dump their kids in favor of power and prestige. Unfortunately for radical feminists, what they don't realize (or don't want to accept) is that such a feminist "utopia" would never work. They've clearly forgotten that women are perfectly capable of being catty, competitive, unpleasant, backstabbing, discontent and all around jerks in the workplace. Actually, that's one reason I'm glad I'm not working right now. I got my fill of that before I was married, and prefer the quiet, family- and home-centered life, with a few close friends, lots of love, and my husband's job providing what we need to live on.
As to intellect: I'd like to see how well Ms. Hirshman manages to budget her glorious and honorable paycheck, and if she could feed four people plus weekly guests on less than $250/month (without using Ramen noodles once!). I'd be willing to bet she hasn't even tried. It's hard. Does she know where to get a brand new brand name dress for $1? I do. Does she know how to get rid of mold on woodwork? I do. Has she taught her child to count bilingually? I do. How many books does she read per week? I bet I could match her. Non-fiction, too. Does she read the works of people who disagree with her (no she doesn't, according to Spunky)? I do. I find the practice mind stretching and conviction strengthening, rather than overwhelming and upsetting.
So, I'm an uneducated, poor, 4-years-married, 23-year-old wife of one and mother of two. And you know what? I may not be as articulate or intellectual as some other women (stay-at-home or working!), but I do have one thing that is more important than cash and prestige.
I'm happy.
A simple dinner documentary
I was so inspired when Mrs. B and Kimi posted recently about their dinners so I decided I'd share tonight's quick and simple dinner. I like very simple meals. I was not blessed with the gift of artistry, nor am I a gourmet chef, so we stick to inexpensive, quick, easy, and fairly healthy around here. I was supposed to go to the store earlier today, but things didn't work out for that to happen, so I came up with dinner based upon what we had left in our pantry. The trick was, since I'd already planned our menu, most of the things we had on hand were planned for our menu for this next week. I decided upon roast since that was the only meat we had in our freezer which I wasn't using for another dish this next week. We rarely eat meat plain since it is expensive, but I had gotten a couple of roasts (the high quality Sterling Silver roasts at that!) a few weeks ago at around 70% off. So, this afternoon, I put the roast in the crockpot on high with some water, garlic powder, salt, pepper, and chicken broth. About 30 minutes before dinner, pulled out the salad greens already washed in our refrigerator (I've blogged before on this -- I try to always wash and tear the bunches of lettuce as soon as I get back from the store that way we have them ready for quick salads all week long) and put them into individual bowls. We had four different kinds of lettuce this week because I got 3 heads at a reduced rate. Then I pulled out a can of biscuit dough (we don't usually buy it but I got it for pennies on sale with coupons last week) and melted some butter and dipped the individual biscuits in butter and then rolled them in cinnamon sugar and baked them. I also whipped up a quick fruit salad with most of the remaining fruit we had left in our refrigerator - an orange, a banana, some strawberries, and blueberries. I set the table, pulled the roast out of the crockpot and put it into a serving dish, poured some raspberry iced tea I already had made in the refrigerator, set the other items on the table, lit a candle, and called everyone for dinner.  Nothing fancy, I know. But it was quick, filling, fairly healthy, and inexpensive. I'd love to see and read other people's dinner documentaries, if you would like to share about it on your blog and then post the link here. I don't know about you, but I always appreciate all of the inspiration I receive in this area!
Married men earn more
If anyone has been trying to figure out how to help your husband earn more, now you have the answer from this interesting study:LONDON - Married men earn more than bachelors so long as their wives stay at home doing the housework, according to a report on Wednesday from Britain’s Institute for Social and Economic Research.
Academics Elena Bardasi and Mark Taylor found that a married man whose wife does not go out to work but is primarily responsible for the cooking and cleaning earns about 3 percent more than comparably employed single men.But that wage premium disappears if wives go out to work themselves or don’t do most of the housework. HT: Samantha
No words to describe this
This just made me sick.A 5-month-old baby died in a minivan Wednesday after the mother apparently forgot to drop the child off at day care. The tragedy was discovered about 5:30 p.m. outside the Wonder Years 2 day care. The baby's mother stopped at the day care after work to pick up the child and was told by staff that the baby had not been dropped off. She realized then that the baby had been in her minivan all day. "The mother had forgotten to drop off the child at day care in the morning," said Curt Kreun, owner of Wonder Years 2. "She actually came in the building to pick up the child and then realized what had happened."
I feel for this poor mother. I can't imagine what she must be going through right now. She's probably a harried and overworked mom who loved her baby dearly. Please moms, it's not worth it to stay in the rat race. For your children's sake, do everything you can to come home. Children don't need fancy toys, name-brand clothes, or nice homes. They need mom and dad.
Q&A: Homeschooling approaches
Crystal, I am wondering what "approach" your parents used in educating your family. Also, what you are drawn to for your own family's needs. Just wondering. -Christi Hi, Christi! Thanks for the great question. My parents started homeschooling when homeschooling was still a pretty new phenomenon. It was before the internet, before satellite schooling, and back when The Teaching Home was in existence (and I think the only homeschooling magazine in existence. Maybe Mary Pride's was, too?). There weren't a lot of methods or textbooks or approaches to choose from. It was back when you dreaded people asking you where you went to school because you knew that you would probably get a really weird look and who knows, they may even turn you in for truancy. We tried never to go out of the house during school hours, unless it was in the backyard for P.E. Having a social worker knock on your door was a real threat, we knew plenty of people who had experienced it. Homeschooling has evolved a lot since then - some times I'm thankful for this (especially that homeschooling is no longer viewed with such negativity), other times it would be nice to go back to when things were so much simpler. You just had a few curriculum options to choose from, a few support groups to be involved in, and a few activities available. It seems like before all the options were available, most homeschooling families were more home-centered and family-oriented. Though homeschooling evolved, we didn't really evolve with it. My parents always believed that the most important thing for us to learn was True Wisdom which is rooted in the fear of the Lord ( Psalm 111:10). Though our schedule always changed some from year to year, a basic day in our homeschool went something like this: From day one, school always began with singing hymns, sharing prayer requests, and at least 15-20 minutes of prayer. Oftentimes, we would also work on Scripture memorization after this time. After this, we usually spent an hour or so altogether working on some group project or studying something together. This varied from year to year. One year we studied Biblical Hebrew and Psalm 119. One year we studied Proverbs. One year we studied the armor of God. One year we studied the Old Testament Tabernacle. The next hour or two was devoted to working on our own on our individual subjects. Mom always carved out at least 15-30 minutes to work with each of us individually. Sometimes we would be working through a Bible Study together, sometimes we'd be working on creative writing, sometimes she would be reading through a book with us, sometimes she would be helping us with our math or English. As the older children were able, they were assigned at least 15-30 minutes to work with younger ones teaching them a particular subject. This allowed Mom the ability to have focused one-on-one time with each child and also allowed us older children the opportunity to learn to teach subjects. Unless it was some rare occasion, we always had lunch together - something simple that one of the children was assigned to make (usually a big salad and something on the side). After lunch, Mom read to us for at least 30 minutes. We went through countless books during this read aloud time over the years. Most of the time, Mom read biographies or autobiographies of famous Christian men and women - often missionaries. After our read-aloud time, we usually had another hour or so of "together time." This was usually an academic subject. For two years we studied Spanish (my mom lived in Mexico for part of her high school year and is pretty fluent in Spanish, something that most of us children have picked up), one year we did Biology Lab (i.e. dissection of frogs, fish, worms, and so forth), one year we did Greek and Latin roots, one year we worked through three grammar curriculums. If the subject was above the younger children's heads, Mom would have them sit quietly nearby and work on something. It was amazing how much they would pick up just by listening in while coloring or doing some other busywork! Then we worked for another hour or two on our individual subjects. After 2 or 3 in the afternoon, we usually had projects to do around the home (cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc.) or outside projects to work on (gardening, weeding, mowing, watering trees, etc.). The afternoons were also often used for music practice time. Though we did not do many extracurricular activities which required leaving to go somewhere, my parents did have all of us take music lessons. This was one thing which was very important to them and we all thank them today for investing in us in this way. We all took at least two years of piano lessons and then kept with piano and/or went on with another instrument. Since most of us thoroughly enjoyed music, we often spent 1-3 hours practicing per day. After dinner (which we tried to always eat together as a family), we were usually free to do whatever we had left to finish up or to read or spend time together as a family. We used a variety of homeschooling curriculums over the years and I don't think it could be boiled down to one method or another. My parents weren't the type to find one model or method or mold and stick with that. We usually didn't stick with one publisher of a certain subject for more than a few years in a row. Each curriculum/publisher has it's strengths and weaknesses and by mixing things up a bit, it helped us learn things in different ways from different approaches. Whew! That was a long answer and I don't even know if it answered your question. However, it was fun for me to reminisce on my homeschooling years. Jesse and I are exciting to begin our homeschooling journey with our children. We will probably also not fit into one method or model box either, though we both lean heavily towards Classical education (with me being more of the Charlotte Masion sort of gal). It will be interesting to see where we end up and how we end up homeschooling. The most important thing to me is that we train our children in the fear of the Lord and that we teach them to love learning. If we can accomplish those two things, we will be satisfied.
Blogs of beauty
 Once again, Sallie is hosting the Blogs of Beauty awards. Last year, this little contest served as a great way to be introduced to some wonderful bloggers and to show appreciation to many others whose blogs are a source of encouragement to me. To join in the fun and cast your vote, click here. Spread the word!
Live-blogging in labor
If you've missed all the excitement over at Life in a Shoe, Kim is live-blogging her labor. No, really, I'm not kidding. I'm almost wondering if this might be a first. Maybe I'll try it next time. At least it might give me something to do to keep my mind occupied for awhile. The things you miss out on when you have a hospital birth. By the way, Kim (not that you'll read this right now, you have more important things to do!), we're praying for you and anxiously await the exciting news! Update: Congratulations to Perry, Kim, and the rest of the C. family! After seven girls, believe it or not, they had a BOY!
Abundance in simplicity
Queen of Our Castle always has such wise words to share. This particular post today was so convicting to me. As I commented on it, it really echoes my heart right now. The Lord has been burdening me with the need to really invest in Kathrynne. Yes, I love her to pieces. Yes, I pray with her, sing to her, read to her. But sometimes I do it, I confess, because it is the next thing on our schedule. It is what I am "supposed" to do. Which means that I'll hurry through our singing, or hurry through reading, so that I can mentally cross it off my list and feel like I've done my part to invest in my daughter's life today. I want to make time to take time to do all the wonderful things I'd always dreamed I would do with my children someday. Life is so short. I don't want to look back at the end of my life and have regrets. I only have one chance at being my daughter's mother. What are you doing today to invest in your children? How are you finding abundance in simplicity? What areas are you seeking to purge from your life so that you live more effectively and with less regret?
Testing, testing
I'm playing around with Google Adsense on my blog sidebar and testing to see how it works. I tried it in the past for a little while and was not pleased with the results (the ads which were coming up were offensive) and decided to drop it from my site. But, recently I've had a lot of people telling me I should try it again since they were having good results with it. So, since Google has made some changes to their program, I'm tinkering around with it again. If you find anything objectionable or see weird things come up, let me know. I try to be very careful what I promote on this site.
Review: Maiden's Gifts and Products
Homeschool graduate, Michelle Grover, recently started a business selling unique Soy Hand Lotion Candles and she sent me one to try. By saying these were "unique" I truly mean it because these are nothing like any of candle I've seen before. Made with 100% Soy Bean Oil and essential oils, as you burn the candle, it creates a cool liquid that can be used as hand lotion. I was a bit skeptical when I first heard about it, but it really does work. Burn the candle for a short time, blow it out, let it cool for a minute, and then you can rub this warm oil on just like lotion. Not only does the "lotion" work well, the candle burns beautifully, and smells wonderfully, too. For more information on these candles, you can contact Michelle Grover: maidensgifts@yahoo.comor visit her website: www.maidensgifts.com
When you don't get what you want
I loved this post by Mrs. B, Childless but not barren. Her attitude is so wonderful and we can all learn from it - whether we are childless or not. All of us have things in our life where we don't get what we want. Maybe we desire marriage, or children, or to live in a different area, or more fellowship, a better church, or a myriad of other things. I remember when I was first diagnosed. It was so surreal...I mean this wasn't anything that I had even remotely considered in my life. The shock. The sadness. The disappointment. The bewilderment. And then I figured out that I had a decision to make. Was I going to let this define me and depress me or was I going to accept what I can't control and go on and live my life?------I have chosen the latter. I remember reading in the Psalms how when David was going through such difficult things he often said "I will trust in You." It was always "I will....." That showed me that I had a choice.....a decision. Will I trust and move on or will I wallow in what I don't have and be miserable? It seemed to be a matter of the will. Oh, of course there are times I feel sadness.....and it's perfectly normal and o.k. to feel sad. But it's just a feeling and it doesn't have to define me. I don't have to get mired down in the sadness. I acknowledge it then I turn it over to my Heavenly Father because His shoulders are MUCH broader than mine. This hit home to me. I remember so vividly experiencing a similar feeling when we went through our own journey through infertility. I posted about in November and wanted to re-post what I had written below: Many of you know that about 2 1/2 years ago, we moved away from our family, friends, church, and financial security for Jesse to go to law school in a town where we knew no one, had no church, and had no idea where the resources to survive for the three years of law school were going to come from. It was also around this time that we were told by doctors that they could not give us hope or help with our infertility struggles unless we were to take some very drastic, costly measures. We did not feel a peace about doing that, nor did we have the funds, if we had felt at peace. This was a very, very difficult time in my life, to say the least. It was during this time that I wrote the following journal entry:I am struggling today... Everything just seems dreary right now. I have prayed so hard for friendship and fellowship with other believers here and it just seems as if God is silent. I have prayed so hard for children, that we may raise them in the way sof the Lord, and it seems, once again, God is silent.
I know my most important work here and now is to honor my husband and make him successful, but I am really struggling with feeling fulfilled. Life is so quiet and yet such hard work. I try so hard to rejoice... but so often I am on the verge of tears.
Sometimes when I am driving in the car, I look at other drivers and wonder, "Are they lonely?" I so wish there were people we could get together with and have in our home.
But, will people satisfy this need? Will people make me fulfilled? Will children, will pregnancy, will friends?
I know in my heart that it must be Jesus alone. I must look to the Lord. I must find my strength in Him.
He is testing me to see if He alone is enough. I fear I am failing the test.
I was thinking this morning what it would be like to be Corrie ten Boom or Darlene Deibler when they were in solitary confinement and also enduring torture, distress, and hunger.
"Lord, I believe, help Thou mine unbelief." I look back on this time of intense struggle and see how God used it in great and mighty ways. I needed to learn to find my fulfillment only in Christ -- not friends, not children, not money, not even my husband. God had to strip most everything else away from me so that I could learn to be content in all things.
Little did I ever dream of the blessings and wonderful opportunities and friendships God had in store for us that would have never been possible had we not moved away from everything we had known all our lives. But, I first had to learn to be content with where He had me. I have by no means mastered this, but I can say wholeheartedly today that I am truly happy, joyful, and fulfilled in the life that God has given me to live.
If I had gotten what I wanted - to live close to my family, to easily have children, to live where there were lots of friends and opportunies for fellowship, I would have never learned so many lessons. I most certainly would not have started writing or blogging or selling books. I would have missed out on so many opportunities to trust the Lord, so many struggles which deepened my faith and reliance upon God, so many blessings which resulted. Related: You can read many other testimonies and encouragement for those struggling with infertility which were posted last November here.
Almost ready for shipping!
 Many of you have been asking and so I wanted to give you a quick update and let you know that our newest book, Handmaidens of the Lord, is finished, formatted, and in the final stages of printing. We are hoping it will be ready for shipping near the end of next week. Expect your copy to arrive by the second week of July, unless you live overseas or in Canada. Foreign orders will probably take 1-2 weeks longer to arrive. Thank you to everyone for your patience and encouragement throughout this entire project. I am so excited to see it come to completion. Thanks to my graphic designer, Amber Moeller, the final look is just stunning. We are praying that the Lord will use the message of this little book to stir hearts of Christian young women everywhere to cultivate something which much more valuable than a college degree or financial success – a servant’s heart. If you haven't ordered your copy yet, be sure to do so soon as we will be raising the price from $5.97 to $8.97 (retail price) next week. Click here for more information.
To give away: Enfamil coupons
Could any of you adoptive moms or other moms who can't nurse use $9 in Next Step Enfamil formula coupons? If so, email me your address and I'll stick them in the mail to the first person who asks.
The perfect wife?
I loved this post by Elizabeth. Most of us have given thought, and perhaps even have high ideals, of what makes a good wife. I know I thought about it often in the days before my marriage, for I wanted to be not only a good wife, but the best wife, by God's grace, I could be. I did not expect perfection (I knew myself too well), but I certainly thought that at the very least, my husband would come home to a fairly neat and clean home each night, with dishes washed, dinner prepared, and a smiling wife, smelling of rose oil and hair shining. Little did I think that six months into our marriage, I would fail all of my expectations.
I did not expect that my husband would come home to a mess of clothes, dirty dishes, and papers. And a bathroom that hadn;t been cleaned in longer than I care to remember. I did not expect that dinner would be that last thing on my mind, or that I would be lying on the couch in my nightgown, hair unbrushed, sipping water out of a spotted glass. Had I never heard of morning sickness? Yes, I suppose, but I didn;t think it would ever happen to me. At least, not to this degree. I remember how much morning sickness shattered all my "perfect wife intentions" - into itty, bitty pieces. But, you know what? God carried us through. I grew so much in the process and I learned how much more wonderful my husband is. And I'm ready to do it all over again in order to hold another precious child in my arms. It is worth every single bit of it - ten times over (though you might have to remind me of this when I get pregnant again, okay?).
DVD Review: The Family Meal Table
 Growing up, my parents made eating together a priority, especially dinnertime. We have so many fond memories around our kitchen table - in-depth discussions, hilarious stories, three spilled drinks by three different people in the course of a few minutes, unique dinner themes (Who can forget the Chinese dinner when we sat on the floor at a low table, ate Chinese food, with Chinese decorations? Gratefully we didn't have to try and use chopsticks the whole meal!). These are the memories that last a lifetime. In our age-segregated, peer-oriented, over-scheduled society, it is so refreshing to hear a message upholding family-togetherness and making mealtimes meaningful. Thanks to Franklin Springs Family Media for producing The Family Meal Table featuring Nancy Campbell of Above Rubies. I've been familiar with Nancy Campbell for as long as I can remember, having read her writings for years, so it was very enjoyable to get to see and hear her speak for the first time on this DVD. I'll admit she has an interesting style - almost too expressive and energetic for me. But she had a lot of great points to share. Two points which stood out to me were: 1. Have dinner on time - aim to have it ready as soon as your husband walks in the door. This is an area I really need to work on. 2. Make mealtimes fun and lively - your whole family should look forward to dinnertime because you have made it such a special part of your day. Since I always want to give an honest review, I did want to point out that my husband and I felt through much of this DVD, it seemed Nancy was preaching and exegeting Scripture and the audience in the DVD was a mixed audience. As we believe Scripture is clear that men are to be the leaders in the church and that women are not to teach or usurp authority over men, this bothered us. I would have rather that it was a sit-down, one-on-one interview presented in less of a "pastoral-like" fashion. This aside, though, you can't help but be inspired to spend more time as a family at the dinner table after watching this DVD. Besides making a strong case to return to the family meal table, Mrs. Campbell also gives lots of practical ideas and suggestions for making it happen. In addition, her husband, Colin, shares an exhortation to fathers to lead their family in family worship around the table. Related: You can read Amy's review here.
Input requested: Proper dress in the workplace?
Blog reader, Michele, asked if I could post a few questions for input from my readers: While the home is the proper place for a Christian woman, there are some situations in which she has to work - being an older single (I'm 37) is one. I'm curious as to whether others have the same problems with dress in the workplace that I do. My office has a very casual dress code - shorts can even be worn. On the few occasions we have to dress up due to visitors, I very often get comments on my long skirts. It's usually things like, "You won't get a husband if you cover it all up!" So, as a result, in the summer, I wear cropped pants, as I get comments whenever I wear a skirt. What do others do in these situations? And my other question is this: circumstances in the current job (the above mentioned comments are part of an increasingly uncomfortable workplace) are making it very desirable to find another job. I've found some online postings that I will send my resume to over this weekend. Finances are tight right now and I really don't have what many term "proper" interview clothes. I only have my pink Easter suit with little ivory slingbacks - would this be too "frilly" and unprofessional? I'm a larger (2X) sized woman, and I've never been able to find anything in the thrift or consignment shops. I'd appreciate any input. -Michele
Daycares don't care
Despite what Hirshmanites want you to believe, daycares don't care and they don't foster healthy living environments for children.
After 25 years in child care, Kristy Moeller says she sees more children exhibit behavioral and emotional problems than ever before. "Children seem to be more stressed today," the director of Oak Park YMCA's Y-Care Children's Center said. But while lots of child-care providers agree, no one knows exactly why. Most experts believe it's a combination of factors, including: -Not only are there a record number of children in day care, they are spending more time there, some up to 10 and 12 hours a day.
-Children have greater stress with parents' higher divorce rates, more single parents and increased activity loads. More government funding or better child care workers is not the solution. We need more moms to be moms, more parents to put their marriage and family above career or personal fulfillment. After all, what could be more fulfilling than shaping the next generation? Careers, financial success, and personal achievements won't matter to you when you die anyway, so why wrap your life around them?
Site updates and catalog download!
Jesse and I have been working hard on getting our new website design/shopping cart all up and running. You can check out our brand-new shopping cart here. We've added some new products and have more to add in the next few weeks. We're still working on getting some bugs tweaked in it but it should work properly. Let me know if you find errors or encounter problems. Also, we finally got our catalog online here - feel free to download it and print it off. It's not the same as getting it all printed in a nice booklet form, but at least it gives you an idea of what it looks like! Lastly, drumroll... we now have a sitewide affiliate program. You can earn 10% of any sale generated through linking to our website. So many of you have recommended our website/books to others in the past and we want to give back to you for sharing us with others. Check out our new affiliate program here. It is free and easy to sign up and I kept the payout low ($10) so that it shouldn't be hard at all to reach. I'd love to send checks out to all of you every month! Questions? Just email me.Okay, I know I said I was done, but I thought I'd mention one more project we've been working on: drop-shipping! We are beta-testing this and only allowing a limited number of people/websites to participate, but if you have a blog or website and would be interested in carrying our products on it without having to worry about stocking or shipping them out, email me for details. Not sure what drop-shipping is? Check out this article.Whew! It seems like a lot of things have fallen into place at once! It never ceases to amaze me how much can be done in little snippets of time during Kathrynne's nap time or early in the morning before everyone else is up (these are the two times I have set aside specifically for business work - the rest of my day is full with being a wife and mommy!). Thank you to all of you for your encouragement, support, prayers, and for being such wonderful customers and friends! God has been so good to us and we feel so unworthy.
Natural birthing
Do you have any advice regarding how to prepare oneself for natural birth? I am not expecting yet, but I am trying to prepare for the future.Though I have given birth twice, I have never had a natural birth. When I had my daughter, L, I had labored at home for 23 hours, then transfered to a hospital for 10 more hours of labor. When I had my son, it was a short, five-hour labor. I was trying to birth naturally, but was not mentally prepared, so I had an epidural during the last hour. I feel like I would like to feel the whole birthing process, though I am fearful of the "crowning".
Were there any books that helped you mentally for childbirth? For some reason. it is hard for me to believe that a book can adequately prepare one for labor. But there are so many women I know who actually look forward to birthing naturally. There is something there that I have never experienced. In Christ, CJ I've been getting a number of questions on the subject of natural birthing recently. We've discussed this some previously here and I encourage those interested in this to go back and read that entry.Since I've only had one birth, I can't speak with much experience, but I can tell you it was a wonderful experience. You can read my birth story here ( email me if you'd like to read the longer, more-detailed version). Having Kathrynne in a birthing center where I knew I didn't have the option of an epidural really helped me to go into birth with every intention to have a natural birth. I prepared myself with prayer, talking to other moms who had had natural births, reading books on natural childbirth, and mentally reminding myself that hundreds of thousands of women had done this before me. Also, Jesse went with me to all our childbirth classes and he really soaked up the information. We had lots of discussions prior to the birth on how he could help coach me through it. When I was actually in labor, things that helped me were: 1. Distracting myself as long as possible - In the early stages of labor, I talked on the phone, wrote in my journal, sat on my birth ball and clipped coupons while watching a few movies. We also ran a few arrands, I rested for a while, walked around, and even ate some. 2. Focusing on one contraction at a time - When I could no longer distract myself from the pain, I started taking one contraction at a time as they came and trying to remain calm and focused. A few weeks before I went into labor, some dear friends and my siblings had written down and decorated a number of verses on cards and in a little book for me (verses on perserverance, endurance, relying upon the Lord, etc.). These were a lifesaver to me. Between each contraction, I would pick a verse and put it in front of me and then when the next contraction came, I would read a phrase from that verse and repeat it over and over again through the whole contraction. I know that might sound weird, but it really worked for me. It helped me stay focused and not get out of control and it helped me to keep my eyes fixed on Christ. 3. Staying at home as long as possible - One thing I had wanted to do all along was stay at home as long as possible. Most of my laboring was at home and we waited to go to the birthing center until I felt like I couldn't handle the laboring anymore myself. I didn't want to be pacing around the birthing center for hours and was much more comfortable at home. 4. Changing positions regularly - This is something my midwives really stressed before I went into labor. They encouraged me to try a variety of positions while have contractions. If something didn't feel good, try something else. I sat on my birth ball, got on all fours, squatted in the bathtub, walked, among many other things. If something was working, I would keep doing that until it didn't seem to be working any more, then I would try something else. 5. Laboring in the water - This was the best thing I did! When I was at home, I spent part of the time in the bathtub and found it to be so relaxing and soothing. When we finally went to the birthing center, I got in the Jacuzzi and got on all fours, almost completely submersed in water, and what relief this was! In a matter of about 45 minutes, I went from 4 cm to complete in the Jacuzzi. If you can labor in the water, by all means do it. One thing I did want to mention is that it is not always possible to have a natural birth. A few months before I had Kathrynne, one of my friends, who was planning a natural birth at home, ended up having to have a C-section. After hearing her account of her birth, I purposed to go into birth planning for a completely natural birth, but to not be disappointed if that was not possible. Having a healthy baby was the goal and if, in order to do that, there needed to be medical intervention, that was okay. Having said all that, would any of you moms like to pipe in and share about your natural birthing experiences and give your answers to CJ's questions? I know that there are a number of other readers who are expecting and hoping to have a natural birth and I'm sure they would appreciate any insights and thoughts you might have as well.
TVs vs. trees
Thanks to blog reader, Shannon, for alerting me to this new study:
PHILADELPHIA (Reuters) - Americans are less interested in spending time in natural surroundings like national parks because they are spending more time watching television, playing video games and surfing the Internet, according to a study released on Tuesday. The study, for The Nature Conservancy, found per-capita visits to national parks have been declining for years.
Why am I not surprised? Nature Conservancy President Steve McCormick said the study suggests Americans and their children in particular are losing their connection to the natural world. "When children choose TVs over trees, they lose touch with the physical world outside and the fundamental connection of those places to our daily lives," McCormick said.
I only have one thing to say: do your children a favor and teach them that there is more to life than technology. And please don't buy an iPod toilet paper holder. Your children deserve better.
Calling all stay-at-home wives
My friend, Avery, is working on compiling a book for stay-at-homes wives who are childless. She has been unable to have children and has felt very alone as a stay-at-home childless wife. If you are a stay-at-home wife who does not currently have children, she would love to have you participate in this book project. If interested, please email her mrsdanielbernstein AT yahoo.com.
Well done
Ann V. has a very insightful post on women and paid work, disagreeing with Linda Hirshman's recent comments, and sharing how different a Biblical perspective on rewards and pay is then our current cultural view. Ann V. says:
How am I valuable if there is no payment for what I do? For a world that revolves on an axis of GNP and capital, to work without pay seems to parallel with slavery, voiceless impotence, and destitute poverty.
But if, however, one has a different worldview, a worldview that revolves on an axis of eternity and soul-worth, to work without pay is an impossiblity. For all work is paid work, for God is a faithful rewarder of persons.
When one looks beyond the flakes of the dust-of-this-life floating in the light shaft to peer up along the shaft of light, up to the glory of Him, one realizes that working for God frees us to work without pay…for God Himself is our reward. One’s definition of self becomes inextricably bound up in a work worthy of the response “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Oh, and if you can stomach it, you can read Linda's latest article here. I don't think she is just on a mission to ridicule stay-at-home moms, I get the impression she wants to mock anyone who seeks to follow God's Word. She is treading on dangerous grounds.
Ideas wanted: Saving money on office supplies
Our dear friend, MM, asked me if I could post on my blog and ask if any of you wise and frugal ladies have input on where to buy affordable and inexpensive office supplies for either your own home use or a home business. She works for a non-profit organization that is looking to cut operating costs as much right now, especially in those little, easily overlooked areas. Comment with any ideas you have. We can all always find ways to be more frugal.
Recent pictures
We had a wonderful little weekend trip to spend time visiting with my sister and her husband who are back from Taiwan for a short while. They enjoyed Kathrynne so much even though it took her a little while to warm up to them as it has been almost a year since she last saw them.  Of course, being the great aunt and uncle they are, they brought Kathrynne a "real Chinese outfit" to wear, which she thought was something else. We got a kick out of her modelling it. The pants fit differently than most American pants and she kept trying to pull them up because it felt like they were falling off.  Our little "Mandarin" daughter. Cute as ever.  While visiting our families, we also attended the wedding of our long-time friends, Richard and Anna. It was a beautiful, simple ceremony and it is hard to imagine that two people we have known since they were quite young are married now. In this picture my brother, who was the best man, is sharing and giving a blessing on their marriage.
Frugal tip: Recycle sewing machine needles
Thanks to Serena for this frugal tip on her blog: Recycle used machine needles to hang artwork, quilts and photos. Needles create a much smaller hole than nails or thumbtacks and are longer than the average household nail. And surprisingly they hold quite a bit of weight. I've hung everything from picture frames to thread racks to calendars with old needles.
The writings of Amy Carmichael
In looking for the poem I had been thinking of to add to this post, I found three other writings by Amy Carmichael which were so convicting and motivating to me today:
From subtle love of softening things,
From easy choices, weakenings,
(Not thus are spirits fortified;
Not this way went the Crucified;)
From all that dims Thy Calvary,
0 Lamb of God, deliver me.
Give me the love that leads the way,
The faith that nothing can dismay,
The hope no disappointments tire,
The passion that will burn like fire;
Let me not sink to be a clod:
Make me Thy fuel, Flame of God!
If by doing some work which the undiscerning consider "not spiritual work" I can best help others, and I inwardly rebel, thinking it is the spiritual for which I crave, when in truth it is the interest and exciting, then I know nothing of Calvary love.
If I ask to be delivered from trial rather than for deliverance out of it, to the praise of His glory; if I forget that the way of the Cross leads to the Cross and not to a bank of flowers; if I regulate my life on these lines, or even unconsciously my thinking, so that I am surprised when the way is rough and think it strange, "Think it not strange, Count it all joy," then I know nothing of Calvary love.
I have been so inspired and challenged by the writings of Amy Carmichael ever since I was a young girl. If you have not read much from her, I highly recommend you get some of her books, or all of them! I'm hoping we can offer some of her books in our bookstore in the near future. I especially enjoy her daily devotional, Edges of His Ways, and her little book, If.
Love through me, Love of God!
I woke up late this morning. Jesse had stayed up until 3 a.m. stuadying and working on his legal project and forgot to set the alarm clock when he went to bed. So, I was shocked when I rolled over in bed this morning and looked at the clock and (gasp!) it was past nine o'clock! Something about getting up late always seems to get the day off to a bad start for me. I know it shouldn't automatically put me in a bad mood, but I really struggled with feeling overwhelmed and frustrated this morning. My house was messy, I still had dishes to wash from before we left on our trip last weekend (I know, I know! I should have washed them before we left, but I ran out of time!) and lots of laundry to do that hadn't been done since we'd returned, Kathrynne seemed to be especially needy, and Jesse needed the house to be quiet so he could study. I thought to myself, "If anyone who reads my blog could see me and my home right now, I'm sure they would be horrified." But, such is life. I'm not superwoman -- far from it! Every day there are struggles, every day there are numerous things to trust the Lord about, and a myriad of reasons to realize I can't do this in my own strength. Being a wife and mother is not glamorous work. It's not a job for the faint-hearted or the quitter. It's work, it's sacrifice, it's a labor of love. And when I think I don't have anything left to give, I can pray with Amy Carmichael: Love through me, Love of God,
Make me like Thy clear air
Through which unhindered, colours pass
As thought it were not there. Powers of the love of God,
Depths of the heart Divine,
O Love that faileth not, break forth,
And flood this world of Thine.
Grocery shopping question
Any suggestions or ideas for how to successfully grocery shop with little ones? I could use all the help I could get.
Can I brag on my husband for a moment?
How many other law school graduates would be writing a brief for a case which is going before the U.S. Supreme Court five weeks before they are taking the bar exam? Not many, I would wager. But you guessed it, Jesse is. His employer asked him to take on the research and writing of this brief and he's doing a fabulous job of it. He has been incredibly amazing through his tenure in law school and now with his bar study. He never ceases to impress me.
Does Mom's career cause teen's obesity?
Ten things to teach sons
This was emailed to me twice today from two different people and I thought I would share it here for those who have not seen it. May we seek to raise our sons and daughters to the glory of God! There is no greater work we can do! Ten Things I Need to Teach My SonsTo fear God - If I don't, the devil will teach him to hate God. To guard his mind - If I don't, the devil will gladly teach him to have an open mind. To obey his parents - If I don't, the devil will teach him to rebel and break his parents heart. To select his companions - If I don't, the devil will gladly choose them for him. To control his body - If I don't, the devil will teach him to give it over completely to lust. To enjoy the marriage partner that God has given him - If I don't, the devil will teach him to destroy the marriage. To watch his words - If I don't, the devil will fill his mouth with filth. To pursue his work - If I don't, the devil will make his laziness a tool of hell. To manage his money - If I don't, the devil will teach him to waste it on riotous living. To love his neighbor - If I don't, the devil will gladly teach him to love only himself. -From John McArthur's message, Crucial Lessons for a Wise Father.
Enlisting your help
We are getting ready to launch our re-done site shortly (ran into a few technical glitches with the shopping cart, so it's taking longer than usual) and I'm wanting to expand some areas of our website. So, I'm asking for your help in two specific areas for now: 1. Modest Clothing Sites - After many requests for this, we are hoping to have a very extensive listing of modest clothing sites/links and, if possible, our personal review of them. I know this will take some time to collect and put together, but if you know of a site which sells modest clothing, can you comment with the link or email me? I'm looking for everything from tiny home businesses to large companies. 2. Bookstore Resources - We are wanting to expand our bookstore to include many more resources on homemaking - from sewing, cooking, cleaning, and frugality, to being a Godly wife and mother, to making our home a haven, to encouragement for unmarried young women, to home organization - anything that encourages and equip women in their God-given roles. If you have a recommendation of a resource which is one of your favorites as a woman or young woman, could you comment or email me and tell me about it? I feel as if we have barely scratched the surface with all the wonderful resources out there and I'd love to have your input on things you think we should sell! Thanks in advance for your help!
For now, I'll bake bread (Edited)
Take a moment today to head over to Homeliving Helper and read some wise words on harmless housewives. Here's a snippet: If a woman's "Place" is not in the home, then whose place is it? Is there a danger of having this wonderful arena for teaching, creativity and building family bonding, removed from us and being replaced by agencies outside of the family? My feeling is that the more you care for your home, the more you win the war that is being waged against the home and the family. Your example alone is a great encouragement to many lost young women who don't understand the potential of the house and the family.
This paragraph at the end was especially convicting to me: If such feelings can calm, refresh, or inspire us, then all the more essential to develop it in the home that you will spend so many days in. Make it the best. Make it better than any place you've ever seen. Make it work in such a way that you don't want to go "somewhere else" to get away from it all. Make it a place of order, beauty and relaxation. Home-keeping and home making is so vast that volumes could be written on the subject, as well as four year classes presented in Universities. The best training, of course, is growing up in a functioning home, but, failing that, there are many ways to learn. Just observe what you like in various homes and adopt them for your own. And then, I thought that this comment by Ladyfromthewoods was so good: It can be harmful when we as homemakers feel as though we are under attack by those with different views and feel the need to defend ourselves. I have learned to "agree to disagree" with my friends and family who do not place as much emphasis on homemaking as I do, but refuse to debate endlessly with them. Instead, I have learned (the hard way) that to endlessly defend my family's position on my duty as homekeeper and mother as a full-time job only distracts me from my work and takes precious moments away from it.
If others continue to berate me and homemaking as a career that is valuable, I just let them rage on. I choose to turn away and finish the dishes and bake some bread and surround my family with love and laughter. They will not tear us down if we do not let them distract us from our mission in life.
I pray often for those people who have so little of importance in their own lives that they have few things better to do than to rip away at the good things that others have. It is a sad existance to be sure. I used to be one of them myself. How much happier I became when I quit trying to point out what I perceived as faults in others lives and focused instead on what was missing in my own.
Homekeeping is not only fulfilling to me but also gives inumerable benefits to my husband, my children, to our friends and family who visit, and anyone who comes in contact with us and walks away feeling blessed to be around such calm, happy, loving people. We are not complaining about the boss or the pay or the latest tragedy. We are happy and focusing on the good things in life. Ahhhh, it is a good life here and anyone who tries to convince me otherwise is just a drop of oil in an ocean of blessings. I think that sort of sums up where I am right now in my homemaking journey, or at least where I want to be. As my husband and I were driving down to visit our families this weekend, we were reflecting upon how we've grown in the last year. It is always amazing to look back and see what a difference a year can make. It makes me wonder where I'll be in five or ten years. Maybe there's hope for me to be the Proverbs 31 woman yet! I think one of the most important lessons I've learned this past year is that doing something is usually much more effective than debating about it.When this blog started, there was a lot of debating about issues surrounding a woman's role and feminism. While I learned a lot in the process and definitely had my eyes opened to many things, after a while, I felt like it was not productive. I was spending so much time and energy defending what I believed, I didn't have a lot of time left to live it. I know that some people, especially those on the opposite end of the spectrum, miss the lively discussions we used to have on this blog. Honestly, I don't. I'd much rather spend my days just being a wife, mommy, and homemaker, exposing the errors of feminism, and encouraging other women in their God-given roles. Maybe someday I'll take up debating again, but for now, I'll bake bread and wash dishes. It's much more fulfilling and enjoyable anyway. Edit: Sorry for the incoherency of this post yesterday for those of you who read it and wondered. I think I was doing five things at once and didn't even go back to read what I had written - not a good recipe for well-thought-out blog posts. I fixed it and it is hopefully a bit more coherent. Thanks for your patience with me!
An interview with Cindy Rushton
For anyone who is interested, Cindy Rushton was so kind to interview me yesterday for her podcast. You can hear the interview here.Or, you can click here to play: I've never done something like this before so don't laugh at my bad communication skills. I enjoyed doing it, nonetheless, and hope to someday be a more polished speaker. At least you can get a taste of the "real me" better than you might be able to through words on a computer screen. :) If you would rather download the interview to play offline, you can click here.
Worthy of Double Honor: A Father's Day Tribute to My Dad
I wrote this last year for my dad for Father's Day and shared it on my blog, but I wanted to post it again this year since it still rings so true!
"Let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double honour, especially they who labour in the word and doctrine." 1 Timothy 5:17 Dad, I'm so thankful to not only have you as my father, but also to have been under your leadership as elder of our church for so many years. Even though I am no longer living in the same town as you and therefore attending a different church, I still think you are deserving of "double honor"! You have always lived out the bishop qualifications given in 1 Timothy 3:2-7: "A bishop then must be blameless" You have always been above reproach. Yes, I know you're not perfect, but you have always been an excellent example! "the husband of one wife" Your marriage is honorable. You emulated to me the qualities of the kind of husband I always wanted to have. You have always been faithful to love and serve Mom and sacrifice for her. "vigilant" You are a hard worker. Whatever you put your hand to, you do with all your might. And you are always on the lookout for dangers for us and constantly helping to keep us on guard so that we are protected from sin and error. "sober" You have never been rash. You are always steady and easy-going. Even if others are terribly upset and angry, you keep your cool and keep your tongue. "of good behaviour" Your life is such a testimony to me and many others! "given to hospitality" You always display hospitality. I can't even begin to imagine how many families and individuals you have initiated inviting over to our home. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to serve so many in this way. "apt to teach" I appreciate the many things you taught me. Not only through just your life example, but through the countless family devotions you led and all of the sermons you preached at church. "Not given to wine" You have always had such balance in your life. You were never "overboard" in any area. Always cautious, but never too hesitant. "no striker" You were never one to be contentious or to meddle in things which didn't concern you. "not greedy of filthy lucre" You have never been greedy for fame or money. I remember how you always encouraged us to seek to minister to others, never to try to gain money or reputation. "but patient" You are one of the most patient people I know. You have had plenty of opportunities to get impatient in your life and yet you always stay calm. "not a brawler" You are never one to start an argument with others. You can always quietly disagree and walk away. How I wish I could be more like this! "not covetous" You are always happy for others to get praise, when you were actually responsible for. You have always been content with where God has you and what God has given you. "One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity" I know that we weren't always in perfect subjection to you, but you always patiently and lovingly trained and discipled us "in the way we should go." "Not a novice" You definitely aren't a "novice"-you are quite a pro, in my eyes, at least! "Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without" Everyone likes you! I have always been amazed at how you are able to converse and interact with anyone at any level. "The elders which are among you I exhort, who am also an elder, and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, and also a partaker of the glory that shall be revealed: Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind; Neither as being lords over God's heritage, but being ensamples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory that fadeth not away." 1 Peter 5:1-4 Your reward in heaven will be great! There are so many other things I could say about you, this listing is very incomplete. Most of all, I just wanted to say thank you for being such a wonderful father! Happy Father’s Day! I love you! Your Daughter, Crystal
Random musings
I almost thought I had a stalker. Everyday for the past few days when I've checked my stats, the same individual was on my site. I was becoming a bit concerned, especially since it was from a nearby town. I finally told Jesse and he investigated and found out it was me. No wonder they were alwa | | |
