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Small home organization 101
 I know you have mentioned your family is living in a small home so I am thinking you are used to having little storage as I am. :) I am presently trying to declutter and organize but I am finding it challenging without having to buy tons of containers and organizers. Do you have any ideas for organizing using items you already have in the home or items that can be purchased very inexpensively (with a minimum budget)? Thank you kindly. Blessings, Lyn I can't say I'm some organizing guru by any stretch of the imagination, but after three and a half years of living in small spaces, here are some things I've learned: 1) Declutter, declutter, declutter, I repeat, declutter - We all have more stuff than we need. My mantra: If you don't love it and use it, get rid of it. Stick to the basic essentials. It will make it much easier to clean, much easier to organize, much easier to live. One of the major advantages to living in a small space is that you can't have very much stuff. The more space you have, the easier it is to accumulate. So, small homes force me to keep things pared down! 2) Break the rules, sometimes - Just because a cupboard is in the bathrook doesn't mean you must only store bathroom items in it. One of our bathroom shelves houses extra kitchen items and cloth napkins. Another of our bathroom cupboards is designated for extra paper products - plates, napkins, plasticware, etc. Our bedroom closet is home to much more than clothes and shoes (As a side note: we keep our shoes in the orginal boxes. I've done this for years and got Jesse hooked on it, too! It keeps things much more organized, we can stack the boxes, and each pair of show has a specific home. Plus, I've found it tends to prolong the life of the shoe.) - it also has all my violin paraphernalia (minus all my sheet music which I store in a file cabinet), craft and sewing supplies, suitcases, special heirlooms, and more. Go through your home and determine where your extra space is and then designate items needing space to have their place there - no matter where it is. (Obviously, you can't just designate a spot, you also have to train yourself to put the item back in the spot after you use it, but designating a spot usually goes a long way for me to actually putting it back!). 3) Think high and low - Clean out of extra storage space? What about storing certain items on the tops of bookshelves, or the tops of your kitchen cupboards, if you have space there. What about under the hang-up clothes in your closet, under your dresser, or under your bed? We store vintage dishes passed down from my grandmothers on the tops of our kitchen cupboards, utilize every inch of space under our hang up closes in our closet, and we even have a number of items with designated spots under our bed! 4) Hang up your clothes - I've found that it takes much less space to hang up clothes than to store them in drawers. By doing so, we can get by with only one dresser for all of us. Plus, the clothes stay less wrinkled. That's just a small start - there's so much which could be said on this subject. Would others like to share what has worked for them? Related: You might enjoy reading a few thoughts I wrote a while back on Attacking the Clutter Monster.
Hairstyle help
 I have a rather insignificant question, but I would love some help. I am growing my hair out. It is now at shoulder level. Usually what drives me to keep getting it cut short are these summers. I would really like to know what other women do to keep their hair from bugging them during the hot months. And I mean besides a pony-tail. After a while I get sick of the pony-tail as does my husband. -Kelly Since I'm no hairstyle expert (you'll most often catch me with my hair in a pony-tail!), I thought I'd open up the floor here. Would anyone care to share their favorite feminine hairstyles which would work for shorter hair? If you'd like to share detailed instructions and pictures, post it on your blog and send the link to me or else you can email me the description and pictures and I'll post it on my website and link to it on this blog. Or, if you can aptly describe it sans pictures, feel free to post it as a comment here. I'd also love to know the lengths for any helpful websites. Related: Some of my favorite hairstyles for medium length hair are here.
Earning from home
For those women who are interested in learning ways to earn an income from home, I've been meaning to mention that I have a Yahoo group that I moderate. This group is dedicated to encouraging young women and women in ways they can earn an income without compromising the Biblical convictions of women being "keepers at home" under their God-given authority. If you are a woman or young woman with such convictions and have a home business or would like to receive ideas and encouragement for earning an income from home, this group is for you.Click here for more details and to join. We currently have over 300 members and there is a wealth of information and encouragement and great ideas constantly being shared. However, it is currently not an extremely chatty group and we try to stay on topic so that it isn't overwhelming for anyone. On a similar note, after many requests, I am considering teaching another online home business class and also an online class on how to write, publish, and market an ebook. I'm just tossing the idea around right now, but I was wondering if any of you would be interested. If so, can you email me?
Turning a new leaf
We just got home from a nice weekend getaway. We're both still reeling from the shock of no school, no tests, and no studying. Hopefully soon, we'll figure out what normal not-in-school people do on a regular basis. We've become so accustomed to school as a way of life that we aren't sure how to live without it. No complaints from anyone here that we're having to retrain ourselves, though! :)
"Modern women must not be enslaved by their children"
If you can stomach it, you might find this article enlightening: It's the start of the summer holidays, when millions of mothers despair at how to entertain their children for the next six weeks. What none of them dare say is that they would rather their children were still at school or, frankly, anywhere else. Helen Kirwan-Taylor, a 42-year-old writer, lives in Notting Hill, West London, with her businessman husband Charles and their sons Constantin, 12, and Ivan, ten. Here, she argues provocatively that modern women must not be enslaved by their children. The lies started when my eldest son was less than ten months old. Invitations to attend a child's birthday party or, worse, a singalong session were met with the same refrain: 'I would love to but I just can't spare the time.' The nanny was dispatched in my place, and almost always returned complaining that my son had been singled out for pitiful stares by the other mothers. I confess that I was probably ogling the merchandise at Harvey Nichols or having my highlights done instead. Of course I love my children as much as any mother, but the truth is I found such events so boring that I made up any excuse. I can't say which activity I dreaded more: playing Pass The Parcel at parties with a child who permanently crawled away from the action towards the priceless knick-knacks, or listening to the other mothers go on about such excitements as teething and potty-training. Mind-numbing! Read the full article.
Sorry, Helen, but I disagree that you love your children as much as any other mother. The truth is: You love yourself. In this age of the feministic "It's all about ME" mantra, what can we expect, though? More and more women have children only to pass off the responsibilities of raising them to anyone but themselves. I feel no sympathy for these moms but I feel incredible sympathy for these children. Can you imagine how it would feel if your mom thought you were boring and she'd much rather get her highlights done than spend time with you? That she'd rather be anywhere else than with you? And this is passed off as loving and healthy? I honestly don't understand how anyone can think this way. Yes, children are a lot of work and they require enormous amounts of time and love and sacrifice. But it is worth every bit of it. My advice to Helen: If you weren't willing to be a mom in the first place, why did you have kids? Your children need you. At the end of your life, I doubt you'll look back and be happy that you sacrificed being your children's mother for the sake of a selfishness. You'll wish you could take back all those years and you can't. You only have one shot at being a mom.
God's instrument of choice
The potential for a true change of our culture lies with those people who renew and transform the family, because the family is God's instrument of choice for transforming a culture. Only through the transformation of the family can a society be restructured to agree with Christian order and the rule of God's law.
-Teaching the Trivium, pg. 33
Nobody told me
I guess I never read this in any parenting book but it seems to be true - when you are the mother of a little girl, playing dollies is a very important part of your existence. Little did I know that when I gave that up as an eight-year-old girl, I didn't give it up for good. Kathrynne's little babies have been crying and crying the past two days (Kathrynne provides all the sound effects and then responds in a very concerned motherly fashion). In fact, yesterday she couldn't even eat but two bites of lunch because the babies were crying and needed to eat most of her lunch she thought. With two babies, she has her hands quite full - from making sure their diapers are changed, to taking them potty, to feeding them, to keeping them from crying. I finally had to put the dollies to bed so that we could get something done besides calming the terribly fussy babies! Oh to be a little child again without a care in the world besides caring for your dollies! I am reminded again and again of how Christ says we are to become as little children. There is so much we can learn from observing their contentment, trust, and belief. How I want to emulate that in my relationship with my Heavenly Father.
It's over...finally!
Do you hear that noise? It's me hollering at the top of my lungs... "HE'S DONE!!!!"Thanks for ALL your prayers, your encouragement, your support, your kindness, your comments, your cards, and your emails. We've felt so surrounded by love and prayer support and we feel so unworthy to be the recipients of it when there are so many others much more needier than us. Now, it's on to waiting until the beginning of September to see if he passes. It's in God's hands and at this point, neither of us really care. We just are happy to be a family again. For right now, we are off to ponder the complexities of a Bloomin' Onion (as opposed to fee simples and promissory estoppel!), courtesy of MegMarc and family.
Recapture the nobility of home
 I am getting married to a wonderful man in several months. We have been praying about our marriage and seeking God's guidance through His Word. I have read your new book Handmaidens.... I loved it! When reading it, I was reassured that a woman's place is in the home. But what about women who don't have children yet? We are planning on me staying at home when we have our first child, but what about that time in between marriage and children? We are discussing this option, and praying about it and preparing financially. My fiance, though, is a bit skeptical about what I will be doing at home all day. I tell him, "I will have the most important job in the world--being your wife..." I think he is looking for a more solid answer, though. :) Is there any advice you could give about this matter--about being a stay at home wife, without children? Did you have to go through this? -J. Hello, J! Congratulations on your upcoming marriage and how wise of you and your fiance to be discussing these matters. In our current culture, home has become so neglected that many people haven't the slightest idea what its purpose is outside of a place to sleep, relax, and sometimes eat. Home has lost its noble place in society so much so that people can't imagine what there is to do there all day long. Any woman who dares consider staying home full-time is made out to be a unintelligent woman living with half her brain tied behind her back.
Whatever happened to home being the center of the family, a haven of refreshment, a thriving metropolis of productivity? Instead, we have elaborate McMansions that are devoid of life. They might look pretty to the observer (thanks to hired maids and interior decorators), but they are usually just houses, not homes. They sit there empty and lifeless while the occupants live a hectic, frenetic, 100-mile-an-hour life in the fast lane - trying to get ahead, trying to get to the top of the corporate ladder, trying to squish in as many activities as can possibly be had outside the home.
We don't have to follow along in this madness. Our families deserve something better - they deserve a beautiful, welcoming home which is the heart of the family and the center for outreach to the world. Maybe our home isn't furnished very expensively and maybe it isn't very big, but we can do our best to recapture the nobility and rightful place of home in our society, beginning with our own home.
Mrs. Stanley Sherman says in her article titled "Plenty to Do At Home":When you make a determined decision to dedicate yourself to marriage, home, and family, the list of things to do at home is endless. I concur. Although children are a wonderful addition to the home, children do not make a home, nor should children be the only reason for staying home. If your husband wants you to work outside the home and he is not open to any creative alternatives, by all means do it. However, I think most men would readily give up the small amount of money brought in by a second income to have a wife who truly embraced her role as a "keeper at home." Being a "keeper at home" does not imply a woman is chained to the kitchen sink and never steps foot beyond her doorstep. Instead, it illustrates a beautiful picture of the most important role a woman can have - that of glorifying God by nurturing the culture of her home. As Lanier Ivester says in her article, "I am a Stay-at-Home Wife": According to Strong's Exhaustive Concordance, the word "keeper" means literally a guard, a stayer at home, one who is domestically inclined. We women are gatekeepers - no matter what battles are raging in our culture, we have been entrusted with the culture of our own homes, a culture within which tremendous ministry can take place, both to our families as well as the ones God brings into our lives. And for me, even though He has not blessed us with children yet, that is a full-time job. I believe with all my heart that home is about so much more than scrubbing floors, washing dishes, and bathing babies. Although those are definitely usually parts of our duty as homemakers, we need to look beyond the day-to-day activities and see the bigger picture. We have the incredible opportunity to bring glory and honor to our husband and to the Lord through how we use our time at home. Take a few days and study Proverbs 31:10-31. What an example of productivity, frugality, and abundant, fruitful living this woman was. I doubt she wondered whether there was enough to do at home all day! By being a stay-at-home wife and/or mother, we should not be draining our husband, instead we should be a powerful contribution to him. If we are wasting our husband's hard-earned money on frivilous purchases, carelessly misuing our time by "gadding about" with other women - either on the phone, in person, or on the computer, if we are letting our home go to ruin and are content with sloppiness, this is not bringing honor to our husbands or to the Lord. Practically speaking, I was a stay-at-home wife for about two years, before we had Kathrynne. I had no lack of things to keep me productive and useful! It was so wonderful to be able to devote the bulk of my time and energy to helping my husband and easing his load. By being home, I had time to plan menus, shop frugally, and make nutritious meals for my husband. I was able to make sure he had his shirts ironed and clean socks to wear. I was able to research out the best buy on items and make phone calls and run errands for him. I was able to take the time to make a nutritious sack lunch for Jesse to take to school or work everyday, saving us hundreds of dollars in food bills. So many times, he would tell me stories of how the other guys would comment on his food not believing that I actually made homemade cookies or muffins or main dishes for him to take in his lunch everyday. Many of them would mention how they wished their wife could stay home in order to do the same for them. Not only was I available to meet my husband's needs, but I was able to expand his ministry. With school and work, he didn't have much extra time to be able to help and serve others, so I could do things as his "ambassador." I was able to go and help other families in their homes with their laundry, cleaning, cooking, and homeschooling. I made meals for needy families and took care of the details of our home so that we could practice hospitality. I also spent a great deal of time reading, keeping up with current events, writing, and studying in order to help facilitate interesting discussions around our dinner table. It was during these two years that I was able to learn basically everything I know about starting and running a business. One of my husband's dreams was for us to have a home business and through this time I had at home before children, I was able to make his dream a reality. If I had been out pursuing my own career, I never would have had the hours to devote to this. So, J., there are a thousand of things one can do from home. The most important thing is that you seek to make your home a God-glorifying place and you devote yourself to doing everything you can to making your husband successful. Focus on these two things and you'll never run out of things to do. And I can imagine your husband will not be disappointed either! Related: Take a moment to read these beautiful articles: "I am a Stay-at-Home-Wife"Plenty to Do at HomeI also highly recommend the CD Home is Where the Heart Is
Bar exam update
One day down, one to go. Thanks for your prayers. We're both dog-tired but at peace. I didn't realize how worried and nervous I would feel for Jesse all day. I couldn't seem to concentrate on anything. I found myself just sort of going in circles and kept ending up back at the kitchen table with my Bible, praying through the Psalms for Jesse. I made it through thirty-five Psalms today. Who knows? Maybe I'll finish the rest of the book tomorrow! I don't know that I've ever been so ready for something to be over in my life. The verse that the Lord gave me for this morning was, "He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief." It has been so good to have many opportunities to rely upon the Lord these past few weeks and the past few days especially. To pray Scripture, to claim the promises of God for my husband, to see God's empowerment when we are weak. How I want to be strong in faith, not wavering as I cling to the promises of God!
Schedules, routines, and more
I posted this as a comment, but wanted to post it as a separate post: I thought you might have recently mentioned changing your daily schedule? Care to share? I really like the way you mentioned before that you keep your evenings free. I find it very hard to keep such a detailed schedule all day long. Any advice? -Lyn
Here's my basic schedule: 4:00 am Get up, shower, dress, makeup, hair 4:45 am Devotions 5:15 am Computer Time 6:15 am Make breakfast 6:30 am Start laundry/clean kitchen 6:45 am Daily cleaning jobs/make bed 7:00 am Kathrynne up, nurse, Family worship 7:30 am Cleaning/switch laundry 7:45 am K bath/dressed - clean bathroom 8:00 am Morning walk, Leave with K - errands/shopping/post office/field trips 11:30 am Home, make lunch 12:00 pm Lunch/Reading 12:30 pm Clean up kitchen 12:45 pm School with Kathrynne 1:00 pm Sing, rock, pray with K 1:15 pm Exercise 1:30 pm Email, business work, writing, blogging, work on website 2:30 pm Packages ready 3:15 pm Laundry, ironing 4:00 pm K up - Make Dinner 5:00 pm Get mail - Outside time 5:30 pm Quick pick up, set table, dinner ready 6:30 pm Dinner 7:00 pm Clean up kitchen - Scripture memory 7:30 pm Play with Kathrynne, jammies, nurse read to her, sing, pray 8:00 pm K to bed I haven't done as good at getting up at 4 am this past week because of staying up late with Jesse while he studies. So, on the mornings I get up later, I usually spend less time on the computer and skip a few of the nonessential items and just follow the basic plan. This is my schedule for when Jesse is studying (especially leaving in the morning to give him a quiet home to study in - I usually wouldn't leave every morning for two hours.) So, I'll be putting together a new schedule when Jesse is finished - I guess that would be this next week! Yay! As far as how to stick with a schedule, this is something I have struggled with quite a bit myself, as I've alluded to in previous posts. I recommend you get a copy of Twenty-Four Hours is All You Get by Susan Bradrick and also check out Candy's site and ebooks - she's been a real motivation to me in this area. Mrs. Wilt has some great and helpful printable here. I used her basic schedule and printables and tailored them to our home. Don't bite off more than you can chew - DON'T start by trying to have a 15-minute-increment schedule if you've never followed a schedule before! Just try to make out a basic routine at first - maybe five things you want to make sure to do in a day in a certain order and try to stick with that for two-three weeks. Once you've done that, try adding in a few more things. If you can't handle that, go back to the five things. Keep it simple and slowly train yourself to be more disciplined. For me, having a detailed schedule helps keep me on track, for you, it might be better to have a basic routine. Do what works for you. I don't follow this schedule exactly everyday. Sometimes things come up which are more important. Sometimes things take longer to do. Some days I get done early (not usually, but it does happen!). I just try to use the schedule as a guideline. Having it written down to refer to every so often throughout the day really helps. I also put mine in clear plastic protectors and use a dry erase marker to mark off each item when it is done. Somehow, checking things off helps to keep me on track. You may wonder why I schedule to get up so early in the morning. Good question. I've tried a lot of different things over the past two years and at this season of my life, I seem to be the most productive early in the morning. It also helps me to go to bed earlier if I know I've planned to get up so early! If I've been up a lot in the night with Kathrynne and I wake up at 4 am still very tired, I usually go back to sleep for a few hours and then adjust my schedule accordingly. Like I said, it's a guideline, not a rigid taskmaster!
You can be an author!
When you get a chance, I would really appreciate it if you could share with us some of your tips for getting one's work published. What do you feel about self-publishing? What seems to be the most economical choice? I am sure many of your readers could benefit from your expertise on this matter. -Christine
Self-publishing is definitely an area I'm still just a newbie at and years away from being any sort of "expert", but I'm happy to share what I've learned so far.
Getting your work published by a major publishing house is usually a difficult task, from what I've heard. Once you get your foot in the door and have a successful first book, it is much easier to get your second contract and so on, but you could spend all of your life trying to get in with major publishing houses and never get in. If you do get in, you will have much wider exposure, usually, but you will be bound by the terms of their contract. You may earn a nice amount off of it, you may sell hundreds of thousands of books and hardly make anything. It all depends upon the publishing house and the contract.
If you are approached by a publishing house and given a good offer, go for it, but if you want to get your work published and you don't want to have the possibility of years of work getting it in with a publisher, self-publishing may very well be a good option, especially if your book geared towards a smaller market (i.e. More of a niche topic and wouldn't have universal appeal).
I'm personally pretty biased towards self-publishing because it has worked well for us. With self-publishing, though, they say that writing the book is only 5% of the work. You don't just write it and produce it, you also have to sell it. Having a pretty good hold on basic marketing skills is imperative if you want to sell any books. I know of people who have self-published high quality books and yet, they have thousands of them sitting in boxes in their garage or basement because they can't sell them. With the internet, it is much easier to set up a website, network with other businesses, and establish yourself in the market much more quickly than it was say 15-20 years ago. But, it is still a lot of work. I'll tell you that firsthand!
In addition to marketing your book, you also need to be prepared to invest a good deal of money upfront to actually publish your book. Book printing is not cheap. However, if you can invest enough the first time around to have a high quality presentation and you can print 1000-5000 copies, the cost per book will be quite low, allowing your profit margins to be much higher.
My personal, inexperienced advice is to start small and work with the budget you have. I started with a 32-page booklet, The Merchant Maiden, which had a black and white cover and was printed with our local printer for around $150 for 100 copies. The profit margin wasn't very high, of course, but I was able to use the money made from that first printing to pay for the first printing and a second printing of 100. Little by little, I've been able to save to be able to do larger printings and, with Handmaidens of the Lord, to finally have something with a glossy color cover! If you can't afford to publish even something small, producing an ebook is an excellent option. You could use part of the proceeds to pay for the actual printing of your ebook if you were eventually hoping to print it. For more information on ebook-writing, check out my article here.
Writing and producing a book should never be a solitary task, even if you are self-publishing the book. None of us are skilled at everything. Focus on what you do best and pay others to help you in areas you are weak in. I love to write, but grammar and syntax are not my forte (I'm sure those of you who read my blog on a regular basis have figured that one out - this is Crystal's writing in raw form - mistakes and errors and misspellings and all!). In addition, graphic design is something I despise. Not only am I not skilled in the area, I am not patient enough for it! So, I always enlist the help of some wonderful people in these areas which frees me up to write and market books rather than agonize over such details. In the end, the finished product is much better than I could ever hope to produce alone.
If you are interested in more information on self-publishing, I encourage you to consider joining the Christian Self-Publishing Group. They have taught me everything I know and are an invaluable resource.
Also, I'm copying an article below which I wrote a few months after publishing my first booklet:
You Can Be an Author! "You should write a book." For years, I had been hearing this comment. Writing an entire book seemed completely overwhelming, and so, for a long time, I contented myself with writing short articles. One day, inspiration for an article hit me and, as I started writing, paragraphs began flowing out at an enormous rate. Before I knew it, a rather lengthy piece was developing. It was too long to be an article, so, I decided it would not hurt to try self-publishing a little booklet. Was I ever surprised! The first printing of this 32-page black and white booklet sold out within a week. All of us have an area which we have more knowledge and experience than the person next to us. What many do not realize is that there is often a hungry market out there ready and willing to pay for the information we have to offer. Yes, it takes a tremendous amount of effort to see a book to completion and printing, but it is well worth it. Some things I have learned through the experience: 1. Start small. Don't attempt to tackle a 400-page work for your first publication. You will also save yourself a bundle on printing if you keep it small. I recommend a booklet under 50-pages to launch your career as an author. 2. Enlist the help of others who are more experienced. If you know someone who has published anything, ask their advice and help. You will gain invaluable information from them and save yourself many headaches. In addition, request assistance from others for editing and proofreading. No matter how meticulous you are, it is always good to have other eyes review the final draft before it goes to the printer. 3. Be prepared to deal with disappointment. When you put your heart into something only to hear, "We're not interested," it is easy to take it personally. But, you must continually remind yourself that this is part of the package deal in self-publishing. For every "yes" you receive at least five "no's" (or so it seems). Learning to humbly and graciously accept rejection and keep pressing forward is an absolute must in self-publishing, especially at the beginning. 4. The more you market, the more you sell. You can publish an excellent book, but unless people know it is available, you cannot expect many buyers. The possibilities for marketing are endless. Check out all the books on marketing your local library offers. These will give you some great starter ideas. Send out an e-mail to friends, family, and business associates announcing your book's publication date and offer a limited-time pre-publication special. Join self-publishing groups and let them know about your book. Ask others to promote your book. Be pro-active and do not be afraid to try novel ideas!
"A chilling signal for America's parents"?
Update: Judge sets side court order for Cherrix today. (HT: Spunky) I've been following the Abraham Cherrix story with interest. For those who aren't familiar with it, here's a short synopsis from The Rebelution:In 2005, Abraham was diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease, a curable form of cancer that affects the lymph nodes. In September he started chemotherapy treatment at the Children's Hospital in Norfolk, VA.
Three months went by, the chemotherapy leaving Abraham bald, nauseated, feverish and weak. "His legs would buckle under him. It pretty much devastated him," said his mother, Rose, who home schools Abraham and his four siblings. (Source: USA Today)
"There were some nights I didn't know if I would make it," Abraham said. He did make it, but in February, tests showed that his cancer was still active, and doctors at the Children's Hospital recommended another round of chemotherapy, along with additional radiation treatment.
After talking with an oncologist (a doctor who studies and treats tumors) about the risks and side effects of the proposed treatment, Abraham decided he wouldn't go through with it.
"They wanted to bring me to the brink of death, then bring me back, try to restore me with stem cells," he explained. (Source: InsideNova.com)
"[It] would kill me, literally. No joke about it," he said. "The first round of chemo almost killed me in itself."
With his parent's backing and under the supervision of a clinic in Mexico, Abraham began pursuing an alternative treatment called the Hoxsey method, following a sugar-free, organic diet and taking an herbal remedy four times each day.
That's when the trouble really started.
Someone - Abraham thinks a doctor at the Children's Hospital - reported the Cherrix family to a social worker with the county's social services department. The social worker asked a judge to require that Abraham continue chemotherapy treatment.
In May, Judge Jesse E. Demps issued a temporary order finding Abraham's parents "neglectful," forbidding them from seeking treatment outside Virginia, and awarding partial custody to the Accomack County Department of Social Services - warning the family that they faced losing custody completely.
Abraham and his family were dismayed.
"What it boils down to is does the American family have the right to decide on the health of their child or is the government allowed to come in and determine that themselves and threaten one way or the other to split our family up?" said Jay Cherrix, Abraham's father. (Source: AP)
Said family lawyer, Barry Taylor: "I don't think any family in the commonwealth would be comfortable with the fact that a social worker with no medical training could make a medical decision for their child. It's an assault on the American family." As of Friday of last week, a judge has ordered, against the wishes of this 16-year-old and his parents, that Abraham must begin his chemotherapy treatments.From Al Mohler: The real issue here is the right of parents -- rather than a social worker -- to determine the medical treatment of their own children. Note carefully that Abraham's parents have not refused him all medical treatment. He has already undergone one round of arduous chemotherapy. They have allowed him to determine that another round of chemotherapy is not in his own best interest. What is next? This case sends a chilling signal to America's parents. Christian parents should take special note of this case, for the logic of this court would allow state intrusion into many of the decisions Christian parents make for their own children, ranging from education to discipline. This story hits home very, very close to me. As most of you know, my husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor when he was 11. He had emergency surgery to remove it and a couple of years later, it returned. He was 13 at the time and the doctors were strongly urging his parents to pursue radiation and chemotherapy (something they hadn't done after the first surgery) as they didn't feel it would be possible to try and surgically remove it again. His parents didn't feel at peace about this. Jesse had just gone through years of watching his mother endure the horrendous effects of radiation and chemotherapy and it was the last thing he wanted to do. So, against the doctor's wishes and strong encouragement, Jesse's parents started researching everything they could research to find an alternative. They ended up in Philadelphia with a brain surgeon specialist who was willing to try doing another surgery. This surgery was successful and he has never had any regrowth. I know there are no "ifs" but had Jesse's parents followed all the local doctors' advice and gone ahead with radiation and chemotherapy, I really don't think Jesse would be alive today. I shudder to think if the government had thought it was their right to say what treatment Jesse could and could not receive. What do you think? What is the government's role in these sorts of situations? When do parental rights end and the government must step in? Feel free to comment and share your thoughts (As long as you are nice, I thought this would make an interesting discussion as it's something I'm turning over in my head, too, and has caused some interesting discussion for Jesse and I). Related: Spunky is covering this story in-depth here and here. Monday updates from The Rebelution here. Visit Abraham's website here. Kimi Harris shares some great thoughts here.More: Carmon posted some great thoughts here.
Consumption does not equal happiness
A mom in my playgroup sent me this article about how consumption does not equal happiness. I thought it was an interesting parallel to what many in our country choose - two incomes so that they can buy more stuff, pay for more classes for their kids, have a bigger house, etc. It doesn't take that to be happy (you obviously know that), but it's nice to see something in the media that sort of backs it up. -N Interesting article, N, thanks for sharing! I especially found this tidbit enlightening:
"Over the last 50 years, living standards in the West have improved enormously but we have become no happier," Mr Layard told the BBC.
"This shows we should not sacrifice human relationships, which are the main source of happiness, for the sake of economic growth."
Might want to tell that to the feminists who are giving up husbands and babies for careers. They seem to think that it's only through sacrificing human relationships one finds happiness. And from all the emails and comments I've received, it seems to be a fact among feminists that women like me - who are choosing families over fortune and fame - cannot be happy. As a side note, I still don't understand why so many feminists don't respect my choice of lifestyle. Isn't feminism about choice after all? Or is it?
This last statement in the article was staggering:
[I]f annual global consumption levels matched the UK's, it would take 3.1 Earths to meet the demand.
For those who asked
For those who asked, tomorrow and Wednesday Jesse will be taking the bar. Thanks for your prayers on our behalf. We have felt them and continue to feel them. I can't believe that after eight years of planning, studying, and preparing for this, Jesse is almost to the finish line! I'll probably be around less for the next few days as most of my extra time is going to be devoted to praying for and building up my husband. I have a few posts almost done which I'll post over the next few days, Lord-willing.
Review: Babycakes Boutique
Misunderstandings and hope
As usual, Amy hits the nail on the head:Frequently, when you hear an advertisement for an auto dealership on the radio, you have the announcer speaking at 2000 WPM in a hushed voice at the end of the ad trying to cram all of the dealership's disclaimers into the final 5 seconds of the spot. It sounds ridiculous, and it serves no purpose other than to protect the dealership from the legal ramifications of his ad. Nobody can hear, understand, or process what that guy is saying, but to protect himself from claims of false advertising, the dealer crams it in. I don't do that here. The old principle applies, "You can't say everything all the time, because if you try to say everything all the time, you wind up saying nothing at all." Of course, whether I say anything useful when I do talk is another matter entirely.
I agree. When you start blogging, you quickly discover that no matter what you say, someone will read it into wrongly, misunderstand, or completely miss the point altogether. I wish it weren't the case, but it's the nature of opening up yourself to the world on a computer screen. And it's the reason that I occasionally want to chuck the whole blog thing altogether. There is never enough time to fully explain everything and it's often more harmful than helpful to engage in self-defense. Sometimes it's better to just be silent, sometimes it is good to answer. I'm still learning on that one, though. This week there has been a more-than-usual number of personal attacks aimed at myself and our family and our beliefs from blog readers (not sure why they read since they seem to dislike me so much, but that is neither here nor there). I wish I could open up my home to these people who seem so vehemently opposed to what I try to share on here. I wish they could know me outside of words on a computer screen. I wish I knew more how to show them Christ's love. The personal attacks do not bother me at all like those who comment mocking Christianity and the Creator of the Universe Himself. You are free to disagree with me, you are free to call me names, you are free to say whatever you want about me on your blogs, but you are treading on dangerous ground when you mock the Lord. As I prayed for these people this week and asked the Lord to bring them to a saving knowledge of Himself, the Lord brought the verse to mind how someday every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord! Someday, those who laugh and jeer and mock will be on their faces proclaiming that Christ is Lord. If you do not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, do not wait until the day of Judgment to recognize Him as Lord. Seek the Lord while He may be found. He is your only hope.
Productivity and sewing
 Today was a fairly productive day - after being behind on the housework for a few days, I spent extra time cleaning and organizing today (with Kathrynne contentedly strapped on my back in the ERGO!) and somehow managed to cross everything off of my list but baking bread. Not sure how that happened, but it feels good to go to bed with a clean, organized home and things in order for this weekend. I took a few minutes tonight to add a "Currently Reading" section to my sidebar. This is something I've been wanting to do for sometime and I finally sat down and did it. Hopefully, I'll be able to keep it updated! I have so many books on my shelves waiting to be read right now that I thought this might serve as a helpful motivation. Tonight I cut out the pieces for a skirt I'm hoping to finish this next week and I also spent quite a long time working on a cross-stitch I'm trying to complete. Handwork is so relaxing to me, plus I can stimulate my mind through listening to things - CD or otherwise - and keep my hands busy as well. I'm considering posting a Saturday Sewing update every week with pictures to motivate me to finish a lot of projects I have been wanting to start and finish. Somehow, the thought of having to report here weekly with pictures can really serve as an extra motivation for me! (Hmm, maybe I should post how often I exercise, too?! That might help me to be more disciplined in that department as well!) Speaking of handwork, I'm determined to learn how to knit this next year. As soon as I finish up my two cross-stitch projects, I'm planning to tackle that. I have the yarn waiting for me calling my name!
New poll
I just put up a new poll - I always think I have a good idea what the results will be from these, but it never ceases to surprise me. So, humor me, and tell me where you found this blog: Take The Poll
A prayer request
Many of you know Gretchen (Glaser) Acheson from Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. She was very recently married and yesterday her husband, Merritt, was in a severe accident. From YLCF:
This morning Merritt was in an accident when a gasoline tank exploded. He was life-flighted to Spokane and is going into surgery now. His leg is broken in several places but it is looking like they will be able to save it--at first they weren't sure.
Please pray for strength for Gretchen....and for the doctors to have skillfull hands as they seek to minister to Merritt's injuries. More information and an update here. I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult this situation must be and I know that Gretchen has done so much for so many girls through the years, now is the time for us to minister to her through upholding her and all involved in prayer. Some specific prayer requests are posted here.
My happy news
 I just had to share my happy news for today - I got an ERGO Baby Carrier! I've been really, really wanting one ever since I got to try one out to review for the ERGO giveaway contest we held here in May. But, I couldn't bring myself to pay $92 for something which wasn't a necessity. So, I decided to shelf the idea for a few years. Well, CubbysKids.com contacted me a few weeks back about possibly advertising on my site in exchange for products (something I'm always happy to do if you have products that I'm interested in!). CubbysKids.com is run by a Christian, homeschooling family and I love their products so I was more than happy to oblige. Guess how much advertising they wanted to barter for? Exactly enough to cover an ERGO! I felt like a little kid in a candy store when I went to the post office today and saw my ERGO package had arrived. You know how it feels when it seems like God reaches down in a special way and says "I love you, my child"? That's exactly how I felt today - so loved by my Heavenly Father enough that He would give me the special baby carrier I wanted. He cares enough about me to provide over and above all I could ever ask or need and sometimes even want! In other happy news, Jesse and I found a house that we really like which is in our budget - we'll probably wait until Jesse passes the bar (Lord-willing the first time!) and starts his new job before moving, but the thought of having a "real house" where I can plant flowers and a garden and have space dedicated to the business and where we can have a bedroom for Kathrynne and a kitchen larger than a crackerbox - it's rather exciting to consider! However, I want to be content right where we are at, even if it does seem like we are bursting at the seams and tripping over each other. I know that lots of people live in much smaller spaces with many more bodies and I'm grateful for God's provision for us. Besides, cleaning a bigger house is more work. Sometimes it's nice to be able to plug in the vacuum into one outlet and be able to mostly vacuum the entire house. I'm rather spoiled to have such a small space when it comes to cleaning that sometimes I think maybe we'd just be better off staying put. Who knows what God has in store? Life is always an exciting adventure and right now I'm learning to be content not knowing what might be in the near future. Just take one day at a time. After all, you can't live in the future anyway. I've been reflecting a lot the last few days. These last three and a half years have been such a learning and growing experience for me - learning to make the most of exactly where God has me, even if it would seem less-than-ideal at face value. It was God's ideal, not mine, and I'm so thankful to have opportunities to the learn contentment. I definitely haven't "arrived" but it is encouraging to see such improvement in my attitude. When we first moved here (leaving everything and everyone I'd ever known basically), there were many times when I'd just lay on the bed and cry... "Here I am, stuck in this place, I don't know anybody, my husband's in law school and terribly busy, we don't have any money, we're in this tiny home, I can't seem to make any friends..." You get the picture. God took me away from everything and everyone but my husband and uprooted me from my comfort zone so that I could learn to truly rely upon Him, to be content "in whatsoever state," to have my faith stretched, to see Him do great and mighty things on our behalf, to see His glorious provision, and to grow closer to Him. Looking back, I wouldn't trade any of the tears and hardship for anything. God is good. And He loves us enough to care about the big things and the little things. Things like houses and ERGOs. He is worthy of our trust!
Our little comedian
It's amazing how a little child can bring such joy and laughter to one's home! Kathrynne has been quite the little comedian recently and she doesn't even have to try to make us laugh. She has started playing mommy to her dollies and it is so sweet and so precious to watch. Tonight she proceeded, all on her own, to take her dolly potty after she was done going potty. Only problem was that when she got to the toilet paper part, she carefully pulled off a long strip of toilet paper and then wiped her dolly's nose with it and threw it into the toilet! Jesse and I were both standing there quietly observing the whole thing outside the bathroom door and when she got to that part, we just lost it. Her countless hilarious antics everyday have served as an enormous comic relief for Jesse in his final weeks of study. (By the way, only 5 more days until T-day - The Test Days - that is! Thanks for all your prayers, we're hanging in there and SO ready for it to be over with!)
The simple joys of life
Inspite of turmoil around the world, in our little home there is peace and joy and laughter. Tonight found us all out in our livingroom spontaneously dancing together to classical music. I guess Kathrynne and Daddy often dance together to a particular CD and tonight we had it playing and she started twirling around in circles. I was a bit surprised and looked at Jesse and he said, "She's dancing like we always do together." I was quite puzzled. You two dance together? It's amazing how many things I miss out on when I leave Kathrynne and Daddy together for a short while! Since I'd never observed this special Daddy and daughter dancing before, of course they had to show me. Then Kathrynne wanted me to come over and join in the fun. Pretty soon we were laughing so hard that we could hardly dance but everytime we would stop, Kathrynne would wave her arms and try to get us to start up again. Ah, the simple joys of life. Don't forget to take time to just enjoy your family this week. It's one of the most important things you can do.
Women and children first
From Doug's blog:On Tuesday night, July 18, 2006 a Royal Navy warship-HMS Gloucester left Beirut carrying children and pregnant women in a large-scale evacuation of Britons fleeing the Israeli onslaught of Lebanon. The HMS Gloucester, a Type 42 destroyer, had about 180 priority evacuees on board, as it set off on the 150 mile trip to Cyprus. Those priority evacuees were all women and children. Ninety-four years after the sinking of the Titanic the British Navy still adheres to the doctrine of "Women and Children First."
Click here to read the full story. The situation continues to escalate and it is hard to even keep up with the constantly changing news reports. I cannot imagine the anxiety these people must be experiencing. As we go about our everyday seemingly carefree lives, let us continue to uphold the many who only know imminent danger as their everyday existence.
The home is a gallery
 Thanks to Mrs. Sherman, for this beautiful and encouraging article. In 1874, Russion composer Modest Mussorgsky wrote the music for his piece, "Pictures at at Exhibition," based upon the paintings of a close friend. As a person listens to this music, he can imagine the walk through the exhibition of pictures of various colors and themes.
The home is a gallery full of pictures of the exhibition of that family's life. If someone were to walk through your house, what would he see, and what kind of conclusions would he reach about your family's life? Would there be discordant notes or a beautiful, flowing musical composition? I especially liked this sentence: In the kitchen were the makings of a large family breakfast. Pots and pans stood in the sink, and flour sprinkled the surface of the cabinet top--but this is what kitchens are for. My kitchen is rarely ever spotless, there are usually at least some dishes and some remains of my last cooking or baking project. Sometimes I wish that the kitchen could remain cleaner for longer than the 10 minutes after I get all the dishes washed, dried, and put away. When I read this sentence above, I realized that dishes in the sink and flour on the cabinet sometimes are okay - it means that my kitchen is being used for its purpose!
Perfect isn't the goal
 "In the end, though, what my children and husband need most from me is not a perfect home or perfect training or a perfectly spiritual role model or a wife without faults - but a mother and wife who is committed to doing whatever it takes to love them and make a home for them." -Sally Clarkson, The Mission of Motherhood
Q&A: Sibling relationships and homeschooling
Did you and all your siblings get along well growing up? How did your mom teach the older ones with little ones around? I hope to homeschool one day but I also would like more children....I know it's possible to do b/c so many do it....it's just overwhelming for me to think about. =) -Anonymous Thanks for your questions, Anonymous!
One thing my parents always wanted for their seven children was that we would have close relationships. Their desire was that not only growing up, but also into adulthood, we would be close friends. They helped foster this by keeping our home very family-centered. They did this in many practical ways.
Just a few that come to mind:
-When we built our home about 12 years ago, they planned for the bedrooms to be small and the central parts of the home to be larger - the family room, kitchen, and dining room are the largest in the home and this helps encourage family togetherness. They put lots of seating space in the living room so that everyone could sit around and converse comfortably. They also bought a table that seats 14 so that we could all easily sit around and talk during and after meals. In addition, they always had us share a bedroom with at least one other sibling so that we learned early on to get along and share our space and yield to the rights of others. -They planned family activities and rarely did we all go off in our separate directions. If it wasn't something the whole family could do together, we often didn't do it. There were exceptions to this rule, but by and large, what we did, we did together. They had all of us take music lessons so that we could learn to blend our instruments in harmony together. Their investment in this has paid off tremendously as we have spent hours upon hours playing and singing together at home and in many other venues where we were asked to play. -They encouraged us to minister together as a family by providing many opportunities for us to practice hospitality, visit the elderly, take meals to the needy, help the poor, and so on. -They gave us ample opportunity and encouragement to have fun as a family - from picnics at the park, family field trips, family vacations, family game nights, sleeping out on cots under the stars, family bike rides, and on and on the list goes. By encouraging us to learn to enjoy one another's company from an early age, we grew up liking to be together as a family. No, we weren't perfect and we definitely still had arguments and disagreements as youngsters, but the older we got, the closer we got. Next to my husband and daughter, my parents and brothers and sisters are still my best friends and I hope they always are! The second question about how my mom taught the older ones with younger ones around goes hand-in-hand with the above subject. My mom has always been a very organized and disciplined person. There is no way she could accomplish everything she does if she were not. For as long as I can remember, we always had a schedule and she was very good about helping us stick to it. The schedule changed each semester but one thing was always there from the time we were old enough - she helped the older children build relationships with the younger children by having us take a 15-30 minute time slot each day to spend teaching/working with them. This was definitely her "secret" to being able to have quality one-on-one time with each child. By having the three older children spend 15-30 minutes each with two of the younger children, she was able to devote that time to working individually with the other children. You might think that this would only work if you had children who were older, say 10 or older. Actually no, she had us start working with our younger siblings as soon as possible. By the time we were five or six, we were able to have an assigned project to do each day with a younger child. It might have only been for 15 minutes, but it was a start. Another thing that my mom did was to have the younger children participate in our together schooling times - it was always amazing to see how much they could pick up just by sitting at their desk and coloring and listening in or by playing on the floor with blocks. My youngest brother got to skip lots of basic kindergarten and first and second grade stuff because he already knew it just by a few years of sitting in and listening to us older children! Hang in there, Anonymous, and don't be overwhelmed with the future! Remember that God only gives you grace for today. When you get to that point, He can give you extra grace and creativity. In the mean time, train the younger children you have well so that if you have a larger family someday, they are prepared to be a great contribution to your home. **Would any of you homeschooling mothers who have older children and younger children like to share your thoughts on this as well?**
Just added...
We just got in a shipment of two new CDs, both of which have been tremendously helpful and encouraging to me:  Twenty-Four Hours is All You Get by Susan Bradrick Do you find there just aren't enough hours in a day? Many home-educating mothers wind up frustrated or burned out because there simply isn't enough time for everything. Be inspired and relieved as Susan Bradrick offers practical solutions for managing a household, homeschooling children, participating in ministry, etc. Homemaking is a joy when your priorities are right!  Home Is Where the Heart Is by Susan Bradrick and daughters All I can say is - get yourself a copy. It is worth every penny. We desperately need to hear this message as wives and mothers and to catch this vision to pass on to our daughters. I was thoroughly convicted and pray that I don't just hear the message, but that I heed the message. I want to be a "Super Proverbs 31 Woman" - not for any worldly praise or any personal satisfaction, but because I want to honor the Lord and bless my husband and family. I want to cultivate beauty in everything in our home. I want the beauty of the Lord to radiate in all I do and say. I have so far to go, but this is what I am going to aim for, by the grace of God. My husband deserves to be the king of a beautiful castle - our home! I want to delight in making our home a haven for him to come home to. Standing behind him and doing all I can to make him successful is the greatest work I could ever do on this earth. You will be blessed, inspired, encouraged, and challenged in your role as a wife, mother, or daughter through this CD. I especially appreciated the beautiful testimonies from the Bradrick daughters shared on this recording. -Crystal
Review: CaptivateU.com
 All I can say is "Wow!" When Shannon, owner of CaptivateU.com contacted me about doing a review of their products, I didn't know I'd be in for such a treat!
CaptivateU.com sells a variety of homemade good-for-you soy goodies. Shannon sent me some of their delicious smell-good-enough-to-eat soy candles, luxurious oatmeal, milk, and honey hand and body lotion (which I didn't get to keep for long - I let my sister try some and she was so hooked on it I let her keep it!), hand-dipped soaps, and soy shampoos. If you are unfamiliar about what soy candles are, you can read more information here.
Shannon let me pick out which "flavors" of candles I wanted try out and that was quite a task! They have so many yummy scents. Check them out here. Their candles are triple-scented and hand-poured and come in dozens of scents. If you are not sure what scent you'd like, you can even request a free sniffie!They also offer an affiliate program, a wholesale program, and a reseller program, for all you entreprenuerial types! Many of their products are 10-25% off through the month of July. Plus, Shannon has offered a special deal for my blog readers. If you type in the word "blog" in the coupon code box upon checkout, you will receive an additional 20% off!
The cure for pessimism
 I'm seventeen years old. I have been homeschooled for the past 4 years. Next year I will be senior. I have three younger sisters ages 16, 15, and 12. We go to a small church with only about 35-40 people on average, with mostly older people filling the congregation. I realize that I can learn a lot from these people and gain from their wisdom. I have this vision in my mind of me when I am older. In a way, I want to have a life similar to yours... Being happily married and I plan to have a home-based business when I am married so that I can keep the home my first priority, and I want to homeschool my children. Since I am home all day with my sisters we tend to always be at each other's throats! I tend to slip into a state of negativity and get very impatient when everyone's not doing what they are "supposed" to. I know that I should be concerned about other people's business but it's so easy when I'm home all day. I try to think of things to do so I don't get consumed in pessimism. I was wondering if you have any ideas of things I can do that will be meaningful and beneficial. Anything to teach me how to be more patient and loving towards everyone. I really stuggle to not be impatient and bossy and just plain rude. What helps you to be so optimistic? Everytime I need encouragement I log on to your website and when I see how unselfish you are and what a blessing you are to everyone and how you actually seem to have a genuine care for others, I get inspired to try to be that way, too. Hearing from you will be of great encouragement. Thank you so much! -Miss B.
P.S. I love to read and I have mostly all the books you sell, but is there anything else you recommend to read that has helped you?
Thanks for writing, Miss B., and God bless you! There is so much I could say to respond to you but I wanted to start out with what I feel is the most important thing I can encourage you to do - Spend this season of your life deepening your relationship with the Lord. I encourage you to spend quality time everyday in God's Word and in prayer. Memorize and meditate upon Scripture. Dig deep into God's Word. Pour out your heart to Lord. Make Him your heart's desire. Do a word study on all the verses which have to do with patience, joy, and longsuffering in Scripture and then ask God to help you develop these qualities. Bloom where He plants you! You can waste your days longing for something you don't have or you can invest your days for God's glory. Look at what you have been given - you have a wonderful family to love, sisters to be your friends, a church fellowship to be encouraged by. Maybe someday you won't have any of those things. Make the most of this season. Live today as if it were your last. Don't look at what you don't have, make the most of what you do have. Invest in your sisters. Develop close relationships with them. Love them, as Christ loves you, even when they are unlovely. Pray that God would help you to overlook their faults and shortcomings and ask God to love them through you. As the oldest, you have a great responsibility to set an example. They are watching you and looking up to you. Pray for and seek out ministry opportunities. Start in your own home: Ask your parents how you can be a help to them. Go to your mom and ask her what you can do today to help ease her load. Take initiative. Be the first to offer to help, don't wait to be asked. Maybe there is a needy family in your community that you could reach out to by caring for their children and helping the mother with cleaning and cooking. Maybe you and your sisters could start a ministry for young children or the elderly in your area. There are thousands of ministry opportunities available and once you start praying for the Lord to open your eyes to them, you will be amazed! Ask your parents for their ideas and direction in this. Start living your dreams! Don't wait until you are married to start being the woman you want to be. Learn to submit to your dad and honor him and help him in his endeavors. Learn to be a selfless servant in your home. Make your present abode a haven for your family. Cultivate domestic skills in areas you may be lacking. Invest in little children (perhaps you could even help with the schooling of your younger sisters?). Talk to your parents about pursuing a home business while you are still at home. Throw your life into loving the Lord by serving others and you will soon find that pessimism is a thing of the past! "It is more blessed to give than to receive." As far as books I would recommend, if you have not read So Much More or my newest book, | | |
