My heart was heavy as I awoke this morning. The job, which seemed such a done deal a few weeks ago, is becoming less and less of a sure thing and, as of yesterday, when we had just finished packing up one of the last of the moving boxes, it became even more remote. All the while, our planned moving date is looming closer and my husband's last day at work is almost here. Our home is entirely packed up and now things are less concrete than ever.
I feel as if my life has been one big drama saga the last few months. I'm pretty sure I couldn't even make up all the ups and downs we've been through if I'd tried. So much of my recent blogging has been about my struggles to trust in the Lord. I know many of you are going through much more difficult times than us, but this is where I'm at and I feel it would be less than honest to pretend it was anything else.
I've found myself questioning God a lot: "Why does it have to be this way? Why do things have to look so grim? I know You are Sovereign, I know this is all part of your plan, but why are You waiting so long to reveal more details to us? Haven't I learned enough patience, longsuffering, and contentment in the last three years?"
I realize just how small my faith is and how much I like to try and rely upon my own strength. Something my husband and I often remind each other of is: Stress and worry are an indication of a lack of resting and trusting in the Lord. But just knowing that doesn't make the stress or worry go away; I have to cast my cares and burdens upon the Lord. I have to entrust these seeming "problems" into His hands and stop trying to hobble under the weight and enormity of them myself. Saying it and knowing it is one thing, doing it is entirely different.
As I awoke this morning struggling to find rest in the Lord, I opened God's Word to Psalms (where I've been "stuck" the last number of weeks as I've so needed to hear the reassuring words of comfort and encouragement and hope!) and read Psalm 107:
"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever! Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom He has redeemed from trouble and gathered in from the lands, from the east and from the west, from the north and from the south.
"Some wandered in desert wastes, finding no way to a city to dwell in; hungry and thirsty, their soul fainted within them. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He delivered them from their distress. He led them by a straight way till they reached a city to dwell in. Let them thank the Lord for His steadfast love, for His wondrous works to the children of men!
-Psalm 107: 1-8, ESV
What a comfort to my weary heart to read such timely words! I feel as if we're wandering around, finding no city to dwell in, not sure what road to take - every time it seems we catch some glimmer of hope, that hope vanishes. And yet, should my hope be placed in a job, in steady income, in health insurance? No, my hope should be in the Lord, the Creator of the Universe, the Maker and Sustainer of all living things. Instead of looking around at my current circumstances, I need to cry out to the Lord, the Great Deliverer. He can lead us by a straight way to the city we are to dwell in. His love is steadfast and His works are wondrous. I have nothing to fear.
Question: Do you make New Year's Resolutions? Why or why not?
No, this is not a trick question or a question with a right or wrong answer necessarily, it's just something I've been pondering in moments of quietness (which are a little few and far between right now!) the past few days and thought it would be enlightening to bring up for discussion here. I will hopefully share more on this in a few days - once I've collected my thoughts in a more orderly fashion!
I'm constantly trying to keep our home from being overloaded with clutter and I thought I did a pretty good job, but judging by how many boxes and bags of stuff I've thrown out or put in the garage sale pile in the past two days, I think I have a long way to go. Something about having to pack and move it makes it seem easier to toss it, I guess.
I even threw out my wedding bouquet yesterday. I know, I know, probably some of you fellow clutter-busters are horrified I would categorize myself as such if I still have my wedding bouquet. It's almost been four years since the wedding and I just hadn't been able to part with it yet, but yesterday, out the door it went. Whee! that felt good. After all, it looks so much prettier in our wedding pictures anyway, I don't know why I hung onto it so long.
ETA: I forgot to mention that my bouquet was made of fresh flowers - not artificial. If it were artificial, I would probably have hung onto it and found some pretty way to display it in our home as opposed to the now-dried and rather dead-looking once beautiful mass of cascading white roses which, until yesterday, adorned the top of our living room bookshelf. I don't know, all those dried flowers just didn't give a really good picture of the very alive and radiant marriage we have. I guess that's one good reason, and I would venture to say, about the only good reason to go with artificial flowers. But, I would never get married with artificial flowers unless we were really strapped for money. Call me picky, but I think most artificial flowers, especially personal flowers in weddings, look cheesy and tacky. That was one of the few areas we "splurged" on in our otherwise very frugal wedding. Seriously, we made all of the dresses for under $100 but our flowers cost four times that much. The only unreal flowers we used were in a few of our decorations and for the reception since someone gave me bags full of high quality artificial flowers which matched our colors and I couldn't stand to see those go to waste.
Just another piece of history from Crystal's past that I'm sure you all were dying to know.
And since I'm kind of otherwise preoccupied with moving and not full of brilliant discussion ideas for my blog, here's a simple question for the day: Fresh flowers or fake (ahem, artificial)? Did you save your bouquet?
A lovely vase of roses from ProFlowers on our dining room table. I love fresh flowers!
I found this quote yesterday written down in a dilapidated notebook which was buried at the bottom of the desk drawer:
"Though it has become politically correct to suggest that young children are infinitely resilient, the data does not support this. The fact remains that babies thrive when they have sensitive, responsive, and consistent mothering. And they fail to develop their full potential when they are deprived of maternal love. They need their mothers during their earliest years more than they need toys, socializing with other children, or the material comforts a second income will buy."
Since we're in the midst of moving, we're postponing our usual After Christmas Sale (stay tuned for more information on that), but we just put all of our ebooks on sale for 25-50% off or more. Click here for more information.
We had a lovely weekend with family and friends and came back home refreshed and ready to hit the ground running. We were able to snag my sister to come up and help us with packing for a few days and at the rate we're going, this place should be all packed up and ready to move in a couple more days.
We're still waiting for the final word that the job is a go before we can sign a lease on the house we've picked out or finalize anything completely, but with the planned moving date looming next week, we have to proceed as if things are a go. I've certainly been learning a lot about being flexible and patient these last few months!
I'm off to pack up the office and bedroom, but I had to direct your attention to this great post by Carmon. I know it's a little outdated now since Christmas is past, but it's still a great reminder - especially to us new often over-achieving mommies. I really want to get my hands on a copy of that book, too, but I'm busy eating up the books by Barbara Curtis which came in my mail this week. More on those later, but let me just say they are really good. My sister even stayed up late last night after all her box-packing, dish-washing, and apple-pie baking (yeah, maybe we didn't just snag her for the packing of boxes! ;), to read a few chapters.
Note: I just had to say a big thank you to the many of you who have commented or emailed to say you are praying for us specifically during this time of moving. Things are coming together so smoothly and God has given me so much more strength and energy than I could have hoped for. I truly feel God answering your prayers and we very much appreciate you taking time to lift us up!
This was Kathrynne's face as she interacted with her great grandpa this weekend.
(By the way, Jesse caught this with our new camera we just purchased this weekend. Maybe I shouldn't even mention what kind it is since I'll offend some die-hard Nikon or Canon fan... yep, I surprised myself and bought a Kodak. So far, we've been extremely pleased with it and I bought the camera, accessories, and card and stayed almost $80 under budget, so I'm happy with that.)
I received this in my email yesterday and wanted to share it here as we all need this reminder. Even if you've seen it before, I encourage you to read it again...
First Corinthians 13 Christmas Version
If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator.
If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime: I'm just another cook.
If I work at a soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home, and give all that I have to charity; but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.
If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir's cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.
Love stops the cooking to hug the child. Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the spouse. Love is kind, though harried and tired. Love does not envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.
Love does not yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way. Love does not give only to those who are able to give in return; but rejoices in giving to those who cannot.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails.
Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust, but giving the gift of love will endure.
--Author Unknown
May you truly have a Christ-centered Christmas filled with the love of Christ - Who is Love Himself.
As a quick announcement: I'm planning to take the next few days off from blogging, as I'm guessing most of the rest of the blogosphere will being doing as well. However, those "few days" may stretch on a bit longer depending upon how the packing goes next week. We'll be skipping Frugal Fridays for at least the next two weeks, maybe longer. I'll be back when I'm able to... Maybe sooner, maybe later.
Christmas music is playing on our stereo, my gifts are all wrapped, cookie, muffin, and bread mixes are all made, and I've almost found the bottom of the laundry pile. Hurrah!
The best part of all is that I really and truly enjoyed every moment of my short stint of Christmas preparations this morning. And I'm looking forward even more to this weekend when I can give the gifts to their recipients, spend special time with family, and reflect on the greatest gift ever given to man - Christ Jesus Himself. Though He wasn't born on December 25th or even close thereto (despite what some of the Christmas songs say!), I love this season of the year when we take extra time to reflect on the wonder of His birth.
I mentioned earlier that Jesse and I try to keep Christmas really simple around here. We don't want to buy into all the commercialized hype which has, sadly, become known as "Christmas" to most of the world. We've wrestled over celebrating Christmas at all, but have come to the conclusion that at this point in our lives, we want to redeem Christmas in our home for God's glory.
For this reason, we've chosen to focus extra time and energy during the month of December on giving to others. We've found such joy in coming up with creative, meaningful gifts for friends and family members, all the while sticking with the cash budgeted in our envelope designated for gifts. Most of all, we've enjoyed looking for opportunities to reach out to those in special need. We found a family who was very physically needy and were able to give them some boxes of food, essential household items, gift cards, and cash. We found out about another woman who was spiritually needy and were able to reach out and give her some things to, Lord-willing, help fill this void in her life.
There are so many, many people who are hurting and needy. Sure, we're not floating in wealth, but compared to these people who can't even afford basic necessities, we are very rich. And as God has blessed us, we want to bless others. We also want to teach out children that, "It is more blessed to give, than to receive." For after all, isn't that the real meaning of Christmas?
For ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that, though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, that ye through his poverty might be rich. 2 Corinthians 8:9
I know, I know, I'm usually a lot more frugal than this...
I bought moving boxes this week.
Yes, get your chin up off the floor. I know it sounds like the most unfrugal thing ever to do, however, I'm pregnant, sick, and unable to go run around to 15 different stores trying to beg off enough mismatched and ill-sized produce boxes to get the job done. If that weren't enough to keep me from doing it, I'm currently trying to find the bottom of my laundry pile so we have clothes to wear for our Christmas gatherings, I still haven't wrapped any of the presents (hey, at least I have them all purchased... well, almost!), nor made any of the homemade mixes I have all neatly planned out to make as gifts for the rest of the people still on my gift list. In other words, I'm out of time and I'm supposed to get my entire house packed up next week.
So, yes, I splurged and bought boxes. But, let me tell you a little secret, I didn't pay an arm and a leg for them. Here's why, I bought them on eBay.
I didn't have all the time in the world to go dig up free boxes, but I did take 45 minutes to research the best deal on buying boxes. Buying them from the local moving store was ridiculously expensive, especially since I'm such a clutter-free nut that I'll most certainly throw them out as soon as they are unpacked. I checked into buying them through Uline and the prices were better, but when I went to check out, the shipping was going to be $44! That was almost as much as I was paying for the boxes. Nope, miserly me couldn't stomach that charge.
And so, I continued my search on eBay and - voila! - I hit the jackpot. They had many, many diferent sizes and kinds and types to choose from, all for quite reasonable prices. Best of all, a number of the places which specialize in moving/shipping supplies (and have great eBay ratings), also offer free next-day shipping. Just my thing.
I ended up settling for 60 large sturdy boxes for a total of $53, including shipping. More boxes than I was planning on getting from Uline, for less than half the price. And about a fourth of what I'd pay from the local moving company. I'll take it - that works for me.
I found my floor today. Wow, I had forgotten what it looked like. Me liketh it.
Headway is being made, little bit, by little bit. Still working on the vast pile of dirty dishes (did I mention our dishwasher has been broken?) and the mountain of laundry which I think includes about all of the articles of clothing we own. Kathrynne getting unexpectedly sick and throwing up all over the final remains of clothing and bedding she had left has necessitated the move on the laundry. Maybe God knew I needed the extra incentive.
By the way, I thought about taking before and after pictures of my house like Courtney did (HT to Tammy), but my camera has not been replaced yet, so I'll just leave it to your imagination. :)
This post from Jennie Chancey is very well worth your time. Whether you embrace biblical womanhood, aren't sure what it all entails and are trying to sort it out, or think the whole concept is whacko, you should read it.
This is the most excellent explanation I've ever read concerning what the purpose of our blogs as Christian women should be. Written by Mrs. Chancey about her site Ladies Against Feminism (which I recommend), it wonderfully lays out "the background" behind a biblical view of womanhood (including scripture references), allays common misconceptions about that biblical view, and (though perhaps indirectly) provides encouragement to other bloggers and writers as to how to view our mission as witnesses of Christ both online and offline.
As many Christian women have experienced, it can become wearying to be constantly mischaracterized in our beliefs. Thank you, Mrs. Chancey, for giving such an honest and substantive glimpse of what we're really (or should be) all about!
I know it's Christmastime and I should be posting happy things, right? Well, I just couldn't gloss over this story when I read it: My Father Was An Anonymous Sperm Donor.
I was angry at the idea that where donor conception is concerned, everyone focuses on the "parents" -- the adults who can make choices about their own lives. The recipient gets sympathy for wanting to have a child. The donor gets a guarantee of anonymity and absolution from any responsibility for the offspring of his "donation." As long as these adults are happy, then donor conception is a success, right?
Not so. The children born of these transactions are people, too. Those of us in the first documented generation of donor babies -- conceived in the late 1980s and early '90s, when sperm banks became more common and donor insemination began to flourish -- are coming of age, and we have something to say.
I'm here to tell you that emotionally, many of us are not keeping up. We didn't ask to be born into this situation, with its limitations and confusion. It's hypocritical of parents and medical professionals to assume that biological roots won't matter to the "products" of the cryobanks' service, when the longing for a biological relationship is what brings customers to the banks in the first place.
We offspring are recognizing the right that was stripped from us at birth -- the right to know who both our parents are.
Why is it that in the case of abortion, divorce, and things like sperm donorship, the children are never considered? I fault the me-centered society for this. Adults often only think of one thing, "I want what I want and I want it when I want it and I don't want anyone to tell me I can't have it." Come to think of it, doesn't that statement pretty much sum up the roots of feminism?
My heart goes out to the thousands upon thousands of children who are being raised in such messed up homes and families. I know that broken homes don't have to make broken people, but is it any wonder when you look around at the problems in our society that things are so "out of order"? It starts in the home, in the family. If we don't have strong families, we have no hope for strong churches or a strong nation.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. I understand that not all parents who opt for donor-conceptions are doing it for utterly selfish reasons and I completely understand the great longing to have children of your own. However, I think it is very dangerous when we use science to mess with God's design. And the resulting consequences to the lives involved, especially donor-conceived children, have to be quite devastating many times.
I feel as if I have I have one hundred and one things to post about. So much is happening in our lives right now and even though this is not exactly a blog about the story of my life, in another sense, it's impossible for me not to share at least something of what is going on in our lives since, well, I do author this blog.
For starters, I just found out yesterday that we have a date set for our moving - oh, which happens to be less than three weeks away. And did I mention that I have nothing packed? By that, I mean exactly that, nothing. And did I mention that my house is in pretty much the ultimate worst shape it's ever been in in my whole entire married life? Or that we are going out of town twice in the next three weeks on trips completely unrelated to moving? Panicking is not the answer, though. I'm just grateful to have some concrete plans and most grateful that my husband has a J-O-B. There are so many things to be thankful for, even if the next three weeks are rather whirlwindish! God has carried us this far and I know He will carry us through.
In other news, we spent most of Saturday with a film director/producer from the UK who was interviewing us because a UK television company has asked our family to be one of two U.S. families featured in an upcoming UK documentary on devoted wives. When they first contacted me some months ago about this, I never expected it would go this far. I assumed as soon as they talked to me on the phone they would realize I would not be a good candidate. However, somehow I made it through the phone interviews and the director then flew to the U.S. for a taped interview of us which she will be presenting to her superiors.
Let me tell you, as someone who has always been camera shy and had very little experience at this kind of thing (outside of one really flopped and botched taped interview some months back), going to do the interview on Saturday was a stretching experience for me. It had been a hard week (the week before Christmas is always very, very busy when you have a mail-order business), my house was extremely messy, we just found out we were going to be moving very soon, there were packages strewn everywhere I stepped, more orders coming in, I was not feeling well at all, and, suffice it to say, I was overwhelmed. How on earth could I go and do an interview on being a good wife and homemaker? I mean, I can't even keep on top of the laundry at this point in my life. I wished I could just call it all off, but the woman had already flown over here from the UK and I couldn't really call her up and tell her I was backing out now. Plus, Jesse was just really sure this was the right thing to do. We'd prayed about it a lot, talked about it a lot, and we both had felt God's peace about going forward with it.
I called my mom Friday night and asked her if she had five minutes. I think I talked non-stop for five minutes telling her all my woes and then just asked her if she could please pray for me. I'm so blessed to have praying parents. In spite of everything else they had going on in their lives, they took time out to pray for me and, within a few hours, God gave me a real peace in my heart about the whole thing. Peace which lasted even when we went to leave on Saturday morning and something on the car blew up as soon as we turned it on so we had to head for the repair shop, instead of the interview, making us almost an hour late for the interview. Peace when Kathrynne, whom I had worked hard to make sure she was presentable since she'd be taped, then proceeded to go and throw her whole body, nice clothes and all, onto a pile of dirt. It seemed like all morning there was instance after instance like this, but God still gave me peace.
And the interview went surprisingly well. I could hardly believe the poise and articulation I heard coming from my own mouth. It was definitely the Lord because I most certainly had nothing in and of myself to give. The woman remarked near the end of the interview that she wished she could talk to me all day as she just found me fascinating. Believe me, that was God in me, not me. If she could have seen me in a helpless heap on a messy floor the night before, I don't think she would have found that too fascinating!
It was such a poignant reminder to me of my need to constantly cling to the Lord. Without Him living in and through me, I am nothing.
We got the call last week - a call we'd been hoping for, praying for, and anxiously awaiting for the past six weeks. The call letting us know that Jesse had got the job. A job even better than what he has now and one which is perfect. Perfect because it is from God.
God is good. I knew that from the start. But the past six weeks have really tested whether I believed it - believed it with all my being.
No, it hasn't been easy, especially when it seemed time was running out and nothing was turning up. For all our labors and effort, we were met with silence. It seemed very strange to us that every road we headed down was turning into a dead end. We finally came to realize, after we had exhausted every possibility we knew of to exhaust on our end, that this one was totally in God's hands. If Jesse got a job, it was going to be completely God's doing, not ours.
And that's when this whole turn of events came up out of the blue. Something we never even considered. And it was utterly God, not us. We couldn't have orchestrated it or pulled the right strings to make it happen.
Like I said, God is good. Even when we can't see or understand. I don't just say that, I really and truly believe it.
Thank you for all your prayers and encouragement to our family over the last two months. It means more than you'll probably ever know. We are excited to embark on this new adventure. Who knows what God has in store?!
3-month pregnancy update - for those who have been asking. The rest of you can just skip this post.
They say that you always get bigger more quickly with second pregnancies. I'm curious to see if that holds true. I'm about 12 weeks now and noticed that I'm starting to sport a very teensy belly bump. Haven't broken out any maternity clothes yet and don't plan to for at least month or two, but we'll see. I know I was in small maternity clothes much of the time last time around 18-20 weeks. It's debatable whether I needed to be or not, though. I think it was just the first-time pregnancy "I want everyone to know I'm pregnant" sort of deal. This time around, I know that in due time, it will be more than obvious, so I'm not racing to jump into maternity clothes until I have to. Funny how your perspective changes.
I've not been to a midwife yet. We're still working out the details of where we'll be living and will wait to nail down where to have the baby until that's determined. Last time, we couldn't hear the heartbeat until 15 weeks anyway, so I figure there's no rush. Baby and I seem to be doing fine, I'm trying to take care of myself as best I can, and I definitely feel plenty pregnant.
Speaking of how I feel, I'm starting to maybe see a tiny glimpse of light at the end of the all-day-sickness tunnel. That is cause for major hallelujahs. I've found that if I go to bed early and get up early, it works much better, and the first few hours in the morning are my best. I've been trying to make use of them to at least accomplish some things and get all the must-do work out of the way. By noon, I'm usually beat and the rest of the afternoon and evening drags on at a very slow and nauseating pace until my early bedtime. However, I'm thankful for at least a few good hours most days. That's something I didn't have a few weeks ago.
I'm "cheating" with Frugal Friday this week. I was going to take the next few weeks off, but when I saw Carrie's excellent post, I was motivated to at least do something for it, since I know some of you have become self-proclaimed "Frugal Friday addicts" and I wouldn't want you to miss out on what Carrie wrote.
So, for "cheating week," I'm going to pose three questions. You can answer any or all in the comments section or on your own blog (and don't forget to post the link!). Or, you can elect not to answer any at all and post something entirely different on frugality. Or, you can do nothing - we'll still love you. :)
Here are the questions:
1. What is the best resource for frugality you've found (book, magazine, website, etc.)?
2. What is the best deal you've gotten recently?
3. What is your best idea for a creative and inexpensive gift?
My answers:
1. Miserly Moms by Jonni McCoy. Hands-down the best book I've read and the first book I read on frugality when I was a newly married bride. Started me on a "mission" I've never lost sight of.
2. Since I've not been out and about coupon shopping, I don't have any splendid deals to tell you about, but I did get about $350 worth of gifts from CBD for under $40.Check out their bargain section. I found quite a few great books for under $3. However, I'm kicking myself that I didn't use Kim's suggestion and make 10% back as an affiliate. Plus, I missed her post on free shipping. Oh well. I'm happy for any deal at this point in my life.
3. I can't tell you about a lot of the cool and inexpensive gifts I've purchased/made for Christmas because the recipients read my blog (!), but a few of things I've done for the non-blog-readers are:
handknit dishcloths (These cost me less than $2 each and can be done in a day.)
homemade mixes - I'm sticking to really simple stuff - black bean soup mix, a cookie mix, bread-in-a-bag mix, and a few muffin mixes.
homemade soy candles
homemade candies (peppermint bark and the Christmas candy I posted earlier)
I really want to make these criss-cross coasters, too, but haven't come up with a recipient or the time and energy to do them.
Oh and I just have to mention, if you are looking for a unique gift for a special woman or young woman, The Proverbs 31 bracelets from Cherabella Faith are beautiful. Plus, they are on sale for only $6.95 right now. The owner sent me a bracelet this week as a gift and though I know she wasn't expecting me to post about it on my blog, I couldn't help but mention it.
Now, your answers? --------------------------- To join in Frugal Friday, just post a frugal tip or post on any subject of frugality on your blog, link to this post in your post, and then post the direct link to your Frugal Friday post below. Any link or post which does not adhere to these rules will be deleted at my discretion. If you do not have a blog, but have a tip to share, please post your tip in the comments section. And, remember the rules: Must be family-friendly. Thanks! I can't wait to read your tips!
[Please note: This video is not for young viewers and contains graphic content - graphic content which the adults of America need to wake up to and understand.]
My husband had me watch this last night. I am beyond words. It tore me up. How can any parent allow their young daughter to go through such a nightmarish experience? Where are the feminists who say women, young women especially, should be given choices and options? This young girl most certainly wasn't given a choice or even information. How can society condone this sort of experience as "a woman's choice"?
My heart is breaking... breaking for the thousands of women who go through this experience, who think that abortion is the right choice, who have to live with the guilt, the pain, the misery - for the rest of their live.
My heart is breaking for the thousands of young women - little girls - whose parents aren't protecting them enough to keep them from getting in a situation where they would find themselves pregnant in the first place, little girls whose parents then don't give them any other option but going to an abortion clinic.
My heart is breaking for the millions of babies who were mercilessly slaughtered, many even when they are viable.
My heart is breaking when I see my little daughter look up into my eyes and say with gusto, "I love you, momma" and I can't help but think of the millions of children whose lives were cut off before they could ever utter those words, whose parents will never experience the thrill and joy of hearing those precious words.
My heart is breaking for the thousands of couples who would love to have children of their own and can't and yet they patiently wait and try and pray while millions of children are brutally murdered of their own parent's volition.
My heart is breaking that I can't do more, more to save these precious children, more to help those parents who think killing their child is in their best interest, more to save young girls from ever having to go through such horrific experiences as the 14-year-old girl on Bill O'Reilly's show.
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14
One thing which I love to do as part of my writing, is to encourage moms with simple things they can do to earn money from home. My first encouragement is that you learn to be as frugal as you can, as I strongly believe "a penny saved, is a penny earned." However, for those who have a free hour or two a day (Can you say, "Naptime"?) there are all sorts of ways to utilize that bit of time to help bring in a little revenue for your family.
One of those ways is to maximize your blog's monetary potential. I never set out to make money blogging, but it most certainly has been a great perk to get paid for doing something I love to do. I most definitely don't blog for the money, but, being a rather entreprenurial-minded person, I won't turn down an opportunity to earn money so long as it is moral, ethical, and do-able with my limited amount of time. If you already have a blog - especially a decently-trafficked blog - there really is good money to be had in blogging which you can earn without compromising your blog's integrity or readership's trust of you.
I've mentioned some of these before, but here are some simple ideas that work for me and could easily work for you, too:
Sell ads on your site - I recommend Blogads, though there are other networks out there. You need an invite to sign up with Blogads (email me if you are interested and I can send you one provided you have a decently-trafficked blog and regularly blog) and the best way to garner advertisers after you sign up is to join at least a few hives of similar bloggers (I'm a part of the Evangelical bloggers, Conservative bloggers, the Christian mom bloggers, and the Baby and Parenting bloggers). What I like about Blogads is that you approve or reject all ads before they run on your blog. In addition, you can choose to defer an ad in the middle of its running if you decide against running it. I've also been very pleased with the customer service at Blogads and their quick response time and the effort they put out to procure ads.
Other options for ads on your blog are Google AdSense, of course. I've tried these out a few times and had problems with offensive ads, so I don't feel I can recommend them. In spite of trying to block those offensive ads, they have so many millions of "relevant ads" that I can't keep up with them due to the variety of things I post on my blog. If you have a blog which is primarily on cooking or sewing or homemaking, you probably wouldn't have an issue with it. Just don't try broaching many subjects like feminism, abortion, or sodomy too often. Carrie has beautifully integrated GoogleAds with her blog here. By placing the ads at the top near the middle, she is maximizing her click-thrus. With GoogleAds, you earn money each time a reader clicks on an ad. They don't have to buy anything, they only have to click-thru. How much you earn per click is based upon many factors, but it is usually somewhere between $0.05 and $2.00 from what I've found, with the majority of clicks being in the $0.15 or so range.
I'm currently experimenting with a new ad service: AdBrite. They mostly do text ads (see the bottom of my sidebar for an example), similar to GoogleAds, but you have more control over it, from what I've found. You can choose to have clean, family-friendly only ads, and you can even choose to only run ads that people specifically buy on your site and you approve. You also have to re-approve the ad if the advertiser changes it. I know some people don't care too much about what ads run on their blog, but I'm pretty particular. So far, I don't know that the return is as good as GoogleAds, but time will tell.
Write an ebook and promote it on your blog - I think everyone should write at least one ebook in their lifetime and hopefully more than one. Don't know where to start or what to write on? Here's a simple article I wrote to get you going.
Submit your blog entries to Associated Content - Want to become a published author and make money doing it? Try Associated Content. They don't pay big bucks, but for most articles, they will pay at least $4-$6 and up to $15 if they are lengthier or more original. Be sure to choose to submit it with non-exclusive rights, as this allows for it to be published elsewhere. I'd recommend you sign up and then look through your past blog entries and submit all posts which would qualify. I've submitted posts on all kinds of topics and they've accepted and paid me for many of them. For a few minute's time, this is definitely worth it. Plus, it gets your name and blog out there more and it gives you more mileage for your time!
Those are few ideas which have worked well for me. I'd love to hear if you have others. Start with a few little things here and there and find out what works for you and gradually, you will begin to see a nice return on your naptime-time investment. Your husband might even get excited about your blogging when those checks start rolling in the mail!
I know this is not a gadgets blog by any stretch of the imagination (I'm way to techno-illiterate to ever consider talking about those types of thingamajigs!), but I thought I'd ask for some advice. As mentioned in the comments here my digital camera is dying and in need of replacement.
I've given up on buying refurbished models on eBay and am wanting to go with something better in the hopes it might last me two years or so this time without being prone to fits and starts like my current model. I need to buy it before the end of the year (Can anyone say "end-of-the-year-business-expense?" Oh the perks of owning your own business!), I don't want to spend much more than $400 (Is that a reasonable amount? Anything much more than that sounds really exhorbitant to me, but what do I know?), and I basically only use my camera for taking pictures to post online (blog/website).
Any suggestions from you photography-savvy people? Where should I buy it (online or in a retail store)? When should I buy it (any good sales in the next three weeks)? What should I buy? I know nothing about this type of stuff and don't want to make an unwise decision. Thanks for your help.
"How tight is too tight for tops? Are jeans with holes in the thighs immodest? Is a purse worn with the strap diagonally across the chest a stumbling block? Are shirts with messages across the front distracting?"
Join other Christian young men and women in TheRebelution.com's new and exciting project: The Modesty Survey. The Modesty Survey allows any girl to submit anonymous, modesty-related questions to Christian guys and to receive (multiple) anonymous replies. It's the discussion you've always wanted to have.
Although I recommend that girls/women go first to their father/husband to ask questions concerning modesty, I've known many a girl who refuses to believe that what her father says is really true, they think he is just being "old-fashioned" or "restrictive." Not so. Modesty really does matter and we women have a responsibility before the Lord to protect our brothers in Christ by dressing in a way which is not provocative.
Brand-new from Franklin Springs Family Media is this delightful film of family harmony, The Eden String Quartet: A Bountiful Blessing. We watched it last night as a family and not only did we thoroughly enjoy it, but we all agreed it was our favorite from Franklin Springs so far. Filled with beautiful music, sisterly love, and a testimony of virtuous womanhood, we highly recommend this DVD to your family. Whether you are music aficienados or not, you will be blessed by viewing it.
I was especially encouraged by what the mother shared - how staying home with her children has been a sacrifice, but it has been the best sacrifice she has ever made. And the fruits of her sacrifices are so evident in the beautiful daughters she and her husband raised.
Sometimes, in the dailyness of life, when it feels that all you do is change diapers, wipe sticky hands, clean the kitchen yet again, and wonder where all the dirty laundry came from, it is easy to lose sight of the big picture. This is not for naught. These humble daily activities are shaping future adults. Our actions today can impact generations to come - yes, even the little mundane- seeming things. Our children are constantly watching, constantly observing. How we respond, how we live our lives, our relationship to our husband, our love (or lack thereof) towards them, our attitude towards the menial tasks. One day, we will reap what we sow.
Seeing the fruits of a Godly family, of parents who invested their all to train and raise their children - as portrayed in this film - is so heart-warming to me. I need this encouragement in the dailyness of life.
Do not buy these tests, I repeat, do not buy these tests
Everyone knows that if you take a pregnancy test and it's positive, you're pregnant, right? Wrong.
For those of you who stock up on pregnancy tests when they are on sale, you need to run to your cabinet and make sure you don't have any Clearly Confirm pregnancy tests there. If you find them, throw them out. And do not ever buy these suckers, ever. Here's why.
I've been wanting to post this for weeks, but when Tammy first posted it, I had announced our pregnancy here a few days prior and I didn't want there to be confusion that I took one of these tests. I didn't; I had just happened to hear from others who had gotten these free after rebate from Rite-aid and who had also gotten false positives.
Please read this information from my friend Tammy and pass it on. It tore me up to have to be the one to tell her (after she'd already announced her pregnancy to others) that the test she took was unreliable. Believe me, that's the last thing you want to hear after you've spent a week basking in the excited news of what you thought was a new life growing inside of you. Ugh.
My sister sent me the following poem this morning from her friend Morgan's blog. She gave me permission to post the note she sent along with it since I told her it meant so much to me I knew it would encourage some of you other mamas, too:
This poem made me think of you the minute I read it. Even though you aren't "rocking" a baby (yet), you're doing a much more important job - you're in the process of making one! Enjoy the poem - and remember, you're doing the most important job, even IF your dishes aren't done and the dishwasher's broken and the house is messy and Kathrynne isn't getting to celebrate Christmas and the laundry's not done and dinner isn't made (nor has it been for weeks!), ETC!!! A year from now, you'll be hanging Christmas decorations with two babies. How fun!
Kathrynne and I on our Branson trip a few weeks back.
Babies Don't Keep
Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,
empty the dustpan, dispose of the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursey, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I've grown shiftless, as Little Boy Blue,
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby, loo).
Dishes are waiting, and bills are past-due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peek-a-boo).
The shopping's not done, and there's nothing for stew,
and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo.
But I'm playing Kanga, and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby, loo).
The cleaning and scrubbing will wait 'till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
By the way, to those women who may be turning up their noses thinking I've gone nuts, I ask, "Have you tried wearing a pretty, feminine apron around the house as you work?" You might be surprised at the results. Need further motivation to give it a try? Enjoy this piece on Apron Evangelism.
My sweet friend Melanie blessed me so much yesterday. Not only did she coordinate freezer meals for our family (I think our freezer is stocked with dinners for the next month!), she also sent this home with Jesse and Kathrynne yesterday after church:
A homemade "Christmas Cookie Decorating Kit in a Box"! The box included homemade sugar cookies, gingerbread men, two kinds of frosting, mini M&Ms, mini chocolate chips, and red and green decorating gel. It was such a creative idea, but more than that, it blessed me so much that she would take the time to put something together like that knowing I would love to decorate Christmas cookies with Kathrynne this year, but am not in any shape to actually make it happen myself (by the time I got the sugar cookie dough made, I'd be done in and probably couldn't look at it again!). It meant so much that she would go to the trouble to make sure I didn't have to do any work but still could enjoy a precious memory-making time with Kathrynne.
And enjoy it we did...
Kathrynne called this cookie the "Baby Cookie" - you can tell the poor girl doesn't know anything about gingerbread men!
She decorated this one almost all herself, though we had a tough time actually getting the decorations ONTO the cookie as opposed to INTO her mouth!
The finished products. Kathrynne was so excited to take the plate to Daddy and let him choose a cookie from her "handiworks." And we made sure to save some supplies to decorate some more cookies today! What fun. Thank you so much, Melanie.
If three months ago, I could have mapped out what I would have thought would be good for us for the following few months, I would have chosen a lot different than God did. I wouldn't have chosen to be so sick and incapable of doing much besides the most basic of basics for my family (though I would have gladly chosen to be pregnant - I would have chosen an easy pregnancy, if such a thing existed!). I wouldn't have chosen that the election would go as it did leaving my husband without a job come January 8. I wouldn't have chosen for us to search and search and submit resume after resume and pray and pray and be less than 4 weeks away from his last day with still no concrete job possibilities on the horizon. I wouldn't have chosen to be living day-to-day not knowing where we'll be in a few weeks, when we might be moving, or even a remote idea of where we'll be moving, let alone the mind-baffling real probability that we'll be packing up and moving everything sometime very soon, with maybe only a few week's notice, when I'm in my current constantly-sick condition.
No, I wouldn't have chosen any of this. And, you know what? I would have missed out on so much. So many opportunities to grow in faith, in patience, in my trust for the Lord. So many precious times of prayer and crying out to the Lord as a family. So many sweet times of fellowship in the early morning hours reading through the Psalms and beseeching the Lord for strength in my weakness, for encouragement, for grace. So many lessons in my lack of faith, my lack of resting in the Lord. So many times to learn to take one hour at a time, trusting God for the rest.
So many things - I would have missed them all if I were in charge of my life. I'm so thankful that God is the One Who has pre-ordained my steps. "He goeth before." He knows the end from the beginning. He knows what our future holds and we entrust it into His Almighty hands.
Where would you recommend I get the best deal on cloth diapers, specifically Fuzzi Bunz? There are so many sites and prices out there! - Anne
I often receive questions on cloth diapering and I know we've discussed this some before, but I thought it would be good to open this topic up again for those who may be considering it and needing some direction.
Fuzzi Bunz are my favorites, but that's also because that's pretty much all I've tried. I might branch out and try some new diapers this next time around. We'll see. One thing I do know, I'm definitely planning to cloth diaper again.
For newbies who don't know anyone cloth diapering or anything about cloth diapering, there is an excellent book out there which covers basically anything and everything you'd ever need to know about the process, the diapers, and everything involved: The Do-It-Yourself Cloth Diapering Handbook by Sarah Zmuda. Very comprehensive.
As far as where to buy diapers, I recommend eBay, if you can find some decent ones on there. I'd buy a few each of a few different kinds and see what works best for you before jumping headfirst into it and investing the money in an entire set of the higher-end diapers. One of the great things about cloth diapering is that if you buy something you end up not liking, it's pretty easy to resell it on eBay and get almost what you paid for it.
For those of you who want to pipe in: Have you tried cloth-diapering? Did you like it? If so, why? What diapers did you use? Where did you buy them? Recommendations for beginners?
What a beautiful testimony to those who view children as "burdens." And what an encouragement to new parents like myself - to see young children who are articulate, working together in harmony, enjoying each other's company, and being productive.
"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." -Philippians 4:8
"Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man."-Colossians 4:6
As you know, we try to eat healthfully - at least as much as we can afford at this point in our lives. We've recently switched over to buying all our milk from a local dairy and this Summer/Fall bought a lot of produce from a local farm (Both which we've found to be almost the same price or less expensive than shopping at our local grocery store!). While neither of these places are certified organic, we really love to support local farms and we personally feel that we'd rather buy something which supports our area agriculture and farm families than certified organic which has been shipped or planed in from far away. We eventually hope to grow/produce as much of our own food as we can, but it will probably be a few years before we are able to have a home with a large yard and space for a bountiful garden, fruit trees, and chickens and goats.
As "guardians of our home," I think we wives have a responsibility to not only be good stewards of our family's bodies by not filling them up with junk and chemicals all the time, but we also need to be good stewards of our husband's hard-earned money. There have been times when we couldn't afford much at all, and we most certainly couldn't afford anything organic unless it was reduced produce at the supermarket. We were careful to do the best we could by making everything from scratch we could, not eating many processed foods at all, staying away from food coloring and artifical sweeteners, and eating fresh fruits and vegetables (buying what we could at the Farmer's Market). I'm sure we didn't eat very healthfully by some people's standards since we bought most of our groceries at Aldi, but you know what? God took care of our health through that time period. And I think that's where we must find the balance. It is our responsibility to do the best we can with what God has given us, and we can entrust the rest to Him. After all, no matter what we eat or don't eat, He is ultimately responsible for our health and well-being.
What do you think? Local or organic? Neither because you could care less? How do you achieve the balance between feeding your family healthfully and not breaking your budget? Insights?
Frugal Fridays: Transitioning from two incomes to one
I have been so encouraged by reading over the different things you write about especially living frugally and living on one income. I would like to hear any wisdom you may have for my current situation.My husband and I have been married for about a year and a half. We are actually due to have our first baby this coming February. My husband and I have felt convicted since we were engaged that as soon as the Lord blessed us with children I would stay home. Since we have been married I have worked full time and have carried the most consistent income. My husband, just recently, with the Lord's leading, signed on with a commission based mortgage company. We have felt peaceful about this career and feel that this is where the Lord wants us. However, the term "commission-based" says it all. We are not ever sure of what the income will be or when it will come.
For now I continue to work, but come the middle of January I will no longer be working. We have lived by a pretty strict budget for the past 8 months, however have enjoyed some luxuries in our budget that are hard to try and get rid of like eating out. My husband and I both grew up in unbelieving homes and both became believers in college. Needless to say we have some bad spending and neither one has ever seen a truly "frugal" life. So with that I have some questions for you: What do you or did you do for health insurance? We do have debt- mortgage payment, car loan, student loans. Thoughts on this?What did your budget look like when you were living on $1000 a month? Thanks for listening and I welcome any wisdom you have. -S
Hi, S! I can't say I'm any expert on giving financial advice, but I'm happy to share my thoughts on your situation based upon what my husband and I have learned the last few years.
First off and most importantly, you mentioned upfront that the Lord has convicted you all that you would stay home after having children. Remember that God never calls anyone to something which He will not in turn equip them for. This should serve as a tremendous comfort to you. No, it doesn't mean you will be living in luxury, but it does mean God will provide your daily bread. Obedience to His commands in our life always brings His blessing. So, keep that ever in mind and constantly look to the faithfulness of the Lord to take care of you. He will never leave you or forsake you.
As far as practical recommendations go, my advice is to completely cut off every form of debt in your life (i.e. Do not allow yourself to use your credit card for anything else and do not take out any new loans on anything). Rip up your credit cards and switch over to a cash only/envelope system. Write down your basic living costs (tithe, first, then basic living essentials) and take out enough money per pay period to pay each of these (stick the cash in individual envelopes and only pay for things out of the envelopes). While you are still working, use all of the excess money to pay off every bit of debt you possibly can. I have no idea how much debt you have, but I do know that the sooner you get your debts paid off, the easier your life will be in terms of finances.
My husband and I purposed to stay out of debt through law school when we got married and it was the best financial decision we ever made. It isn't always easy, believe me, when you are living in a small place, have one old vehicle that seems to be on its last leg, and all your friends are buying homes and nicer cars. We are currently in a situation where my husband will be out of a job in less than four weeks and he's not been able to secure any new employment yet. We are so thankful we are free from debt-bondage so that even if he doesn't find work for awhile, our bills are quite minimal. When he was finished with law school and passed the bar, we were so tempted to move into a nicer place since we are pretty much bursting at the seams where we are. We very much considered taking out a loan to buy a home, especially since he had a good job and it seemed like we could easily afford the monthly payments of a decent home. However, we didn't feel a peace about it and now we know why. Seeing how easily life circumstances can change has really caused us to further resolve we will not go into debt unless our life depends upon it - even to buy a first home. I share our personal experience for the young people reading this who maybe have not thought too much about debt before. Avoid it, if you can at all possibly avoid it.
Second, start working to cut every expenditure you can. Write down all of your expenditures and start eliminating those which you can live without (cable, internet, cell phones, any monthly subscriptions, eating out, convenience foods, movie rentals, etc.). You might be surprised at how much you can cut just by evaluating every expenditure in light of, "Is this a basic necessity?" After you've pared down to the basics, then start evaluating those basic necessities in light of, "Is there some way I could reduce this cost?" How about moving to a smaller home, learning to grocery shop frugally, getting rid of one car, bartering for hair cuts, making gifts instead of buying them, shopping at thrift stores and garage sales instead of buying things new, and so on. Start thinking outside the box. Instead of thinking, "This will never work." Ask yourself, "How can we make this work?" You might be amazed at what some creative thinking can cook up!
Third, after cutting expenditures, make a budget based upon the least possible amount you can live on and try to squeeze this out of your husband's commission check (once again, use the cash only system here). Pray that God would bless your husband's efforts and multiply them and give you creativity in making the most of his hard-earned income. Live on the least you can and if you have leftovers, put those towards savings (for a particularly lean time) and towards extra payment on your mortgage. (My husband recommends that, like Dave Ramsey says, you set up a $1000 emergency fund first and then put all of the extra towards paying off your debts.)
Fourth, (if your husband is supportive of this) start thinking of things you can do from home to help bring in extra income. Since you are having a baby soon, please don't go overboard with this, but just keep it in mind and start praying for direction in this. Look around your home and find some items you are no longer using and sell them on eBay. Consider what skills you have which you could put to use to earn money during your baby's naptime. (Though for the first three months at least, I say to nap when your baby naps. You'll be needing all the extra sleep you can get!)
In answer to your other questions, you can read detailed specifics of our law school budget here. Obviously, what worked for us, won't necessarily work for you, but it can hopefully be a help to you in thinking through expenditures. As far as health insurance, we did lots of research on this and for the first part of our marriage, we were on student health insurance. We are currently on health insurance through my husband's employment. Could your husband get it through his employment? Check into that and other options in your area. You might also consider health insurance alternatives (such as Medi-Share or Samaritan Ministries), if you do not have any major medical concerns. I've heard of many who have very much benefited from these and it was something we looked into, but it wasn't going to save us money compared to our inexpensive student insurance, so we have never gone with it. I know some families have opted to not have health insurance at all. This was something we also considered and came close to doing at times, but we were always able to pay our bills for it, so we never dropped our plan.
Most of all, never take your eyes off the Lord. Claim His promises and step out in faith. Don't try to do anything in your own strength. Continually ask Him for guidance and direction and constantly be praying and discussing this with your husband. And see God do great and mighty things on your behalf!
I'd love to hear from others of you who may have been in a similar situation as this couple and your thoughts and input for them.
---------------------- To join in Frugal Friday, just post a frugal tip or post on any subject of frugality on your blog, link to this post in your post, and then post the direct link to your Frugal Friday post below. Any link or post which does not adhere to these rules will be deleted at my discretion. If you do not have a blog, but have a tip to share, please post your tip in the comments section. And, remember the rules: Must be family-friendly. Thanks! I can't wait to read your tips!
I have to admit, I've been feeling a little left out.
All around the blogosphere I'm seeing these beautiful Christmas trees, Christmas decorations, Christmas crafts, Christmas gift ideas... and here I sit, on the couch, without a speck of Christmas anything in our home, dreaming of not a white Christmas, but just one day without nausea, so that I could maybe participate a teensy bit in the festivities.
We usually keep Christmas really simple, but not this sim
My heart was heavy as I awoke this morning. The job, which seemed such a done deal a few weeks ago, is becoming less and less of a sure thing and, as of yesterday, when we had just finished packing up one of the last of the moving boxes, it became even more remote. All the while, our planned moving date is looming closer and my husband's last day at work is almost here. Our home is entirely packed up and now things are less concrete than ever.
