An epiphany on birth control
My husband and I rarely watch TV. Not only is most of it worthless (in my opinion), but it's also supremely boring to me. Once in a blue moon, on special occasions, we do crack open the box in our closet with the TV in it and watch something. This past week was one of those occasions and I had an epiphany. It had nothing to do with watching TV, though. It had to do with birth control.
In the middle of the movie, there was a commercial for some type of artificial birth control. Of course, all these gorgeously perfect (and I'm sure graphically doctored) women talk about how "empowering" and "freeing" this new-fangled contraceptive was. They are smiling like it is the happiest day of their life. And they keep smiling while there is this very long disclaimer at the end of all the possible side effects of this "wonderful new contraceptive." Things like strokes, heart attacks, and other quite life-threatening medical conditions.
Why is having more than two children purported as "so dangerous" to a mother's health and artificial contraceptives never are? I don't get it.
In the middle of the movie, there was a commercial for some type of artificial birth control. Of course, all these gorgeously perfect (and I'm sure graphically doctored) women talk about how "empowering" and "freeing" this new-fangled contraceptive was. They are smiling like it is the happiest day of their life. And they keep smiling while there is this very long disclaimer at the end of all the possible side effects of this "wonderful new contraceptive." Things like strokes, heart attacks, and other quite life-threatening medical conditions.
Why is having more than two children purported as "so dangerous" to a mother's health and artificial contraceptives never are? I don't get it.
posted by Crystal Paine at 7:55 AM
56 Comments:
I completely agree, Crystal. It is pretty serious when you put chemicals into your body to utterly confuse it, especially with hormonal contraceptives. The side effects are absolutely horrendous and scary! My doctor's office now requires women to take a pregnancy test before they are allowed to make their first official ob/gyn appointment. The office staff said they have had a ton of women thinking they were pregnant who weren't. Now, faulty home pregnancy tests may be partially to blame, but I think many hormonal contraceptives are, too. The new birth control pill, Seasonique, only gives you 4 periods a year. Wouldn't one always wonder if she were pregnant under such conditions? My doctor's office was upset at all these women coming in with false tests, but they are the ones feeding the fire by prescribing those contraceptives. Receiving His Blessings really is a heart issue, and I pray that more Christians will let Him plan their families. I am glad that there has been a revivial in this area, for quite some time.Blessings to you!
"Let Freedom 'Ring'!" Get it? *advertizers think to themselves,"ah, we are so clever"*
Spare me. I have seen that lame commercial. Watch them pull the drug after a few women get blood clots like they did with the patch.(Or did they just extend the warning label on it?) What is so "freeing" about taking something that might make you throw a PE? I understand that some women need to use birth control, but something that has that many side effects? Yes, those side effects are rare and if you are healthy you will probaby not have them. However, in this generation of obese people, most of the women are fat and unhealthy.
Everytime I see these birth control commercials, I think of the poor woman who was rushed to the ER and didn't make it. She threw a clot. Another woman who was 28 yrs old was my patient. She went through a course of blood thinners and made it out OK. These women had hormonal birth control in common.
Well, I am going to pass on "freedom" and remain chained to this slavery-like life of cute babies and a loving husband. Oooooo. I must be crazy or something.
You know, health was the original reason why my husband and I decided not to use birth control. I had been on it many years before to try to relieve some health problems -- but while they sort of/kind of eased the symptoms, the drugs made me irritible, moody, horribly emotional and just generally not a good person to be around. Then I found out that the higher doses of the pill (which is what I was on -- the lower dose did nothing for me) increased your risk of breast cancer (which runs in my family) and increased the risk of dying from a stroke *eight times* for women in their twenties who experience migraines (which I do). After learning that, it was a very easy decision to just drop the pill.
And of course there are many women who have a difficult time conceiving after going off of birth control. The "official" reports say it can take up to 6 months for your body to return to normal, but the experience of some of my friends says that it can be much longer than that. I can attest to the fact that MY body didn't return to normal for almost a year after I stopped the medication.
Sometimes women get "morning sickness" from the pill, too. I was told to take the pill at night so that I wouldn't get sick because of it. Crystal, apparently estrogen/progesterone have a strong affect on you. Just imagine taking a pill everyday that is made of those same hormones that make you sick during the first few months of pregnancy.
Honestly, is not having a baby worth all of that? To me, even with all thoughts of its abortive nature/wanting God to control the family/etc, the answer was absolutely NO.
Er, I meant to say (edit in **):
To me, even with all thoughts of its abortive nature/wanting God to control the family/etc **ASIDE**, the answer was absolutely NO.
Sorry for the typo. :)
Harmony said:
"The "official" reports say it can take up to 6 months for your body to return to normal, but the experience of some of my friends says that it can be much longer than that. I can attest to the fact that MY body didn't return to normal for almost a year after I stopped the medication."
I agree wholeheartedly. My cycles just, within the last 2-3, have started straightening out. I stopped taking BCP's in June '05. I never had irregular cycles or anything, it was just obvious my hormone levels were not what they should be. I thank God that He laid on my heart to stop taking the Pill and just trust Him. We pray daily that He will open my womb.
Women do need to know not only the moral implications of OC's (baby not allowed to implant, etc.) but the havoc it can wreak on your body. I spotted heavily while on them (I seldom do now) and twice I thought I was pregnant and having a miscarriage. I found that my body didn't tolerate being manipulated very well at all.
Johanna
Crystal,
I totally agree too. I'm so thankful that my husband and I have BOTH been convicted about the use of birth control. I have a couple of friends who believe that birth control is wrong, but their husbands don't agree. I am so excited about letting the Lord plan our family! I do have to admit that it's a little scary and overwhelming at times (we conceived our first child three weeks after our wedding and come July we'll have 4 children ages 3 and under!) But God is so good and I know that He will always give me the grace I need to handle as many children as He chooses to give us!
Laura
You want to know something? If you're talking about the commercial I think you are (the such-and-such Ring?), I saw an episode of Runway Moms that features the model/spokeswoman in that commerical. (Yes, sometimes I see too much TV!) SHE IS A CHRISTIAN! A Mormom, actually, a church I thought discouraged the use of ABC! (Anyone know about that?) She spent a lot of her episode talking about the blessings of children and reading Scripture with her girls, then comes out with this.
Now, I agree about the artifical effects of ABC. I also know that there are some Christians who do use ABC and are okay with it. I cannot judge what is on their hearts, but I just found the whole thing hypocritical if this young woman's situation.
Those commercials give me lots of opportunities to chat with my daughters about God's blessings!
Christine said, "Receiving His Blessings really is a heart issue, and I pray that more Christians will let Him plan their families."
I agree, and it's a message I've been trying to spread for more than 20 yrs. Alas, it is a message that sometimes fell on deaf ears when they realized I was "barren". And now, being a mother of "only two" (through adoption), people still seem to find reason to discredit/disregard my encouragement to seek and enjoy the Lord's blessings in this area.
I'm so encouraged to read/hear these things from younger Xian women--where were you guys when I was 20-something? :-) I know, I know, either in your mother's womb or sleeping in your crib!!
I've been enjoying your blog for several weeks now, and am encouraged that so many young Xian women are tackling some of the "hard" things! Blessings!
That "ad" and others. Our youngest, 13, comments after seeing any pharmaceutical commercial that shares the myriad of side effects one may experience with a pill or patch to avoid one original symptom. Do they really think people are that uninformed or easily led these days? They do because many are.
29-30 years ago, there was embarassment over the advent of female sanitary product commercials on tv(much to my dismay sitting with the opposite sex in the room); who would have thought back then how far it unfold from there with every other aspect of what God has for individuals and families. Commercials, music videos, sitcoms, talk shows, news...even decorating programs that project relationships of individuals in direct opposition to what God designed...much saddens these days.
Oh yes I agree with you too. You can have your "freedom" AND a nice complexion too. Didn't you know that? Whoo hoo.
I'll take a less than perfect complexion and a baby please. Thank you. (even at 41).
Cheryl
Crystal, I saw those adds and immediately thought about how funny the Evil One is, and how clever- making distortions look so free, easy, intelligent, and pretty.
Yuck.
My own experience with BC lead to pre-cancerous cells of the cervix followed by surgery, hemorrhaging 3x in one week with another surgery to stop it! That was just the beginning of many problems that eventually led to infertility and 5 more surgeries in a 7 month period and 2 of which were major surgery. That's just a short summary of the physical side effects not to mention the emotional side. So I ask myself was it worth it all just to have my way? NO
Hi,
These medications have a place, but should not be forced as the norm! I had terrible cramping each month - the kind that had me on prescription pain killers for one week a month and feeling run down for two to three weeks a month, it was horrible, I only felt good for about 2 weeks a month on average! I was put on the pill to help regulate my cycles which were completely erratic and possibly part of the problem and help deal with severe cramping that was beginning to boarder on hemorrhaging.
These prescriptions do have a place for women who have health issues, however, the fact they are now being used for convenience is just sad. It is sad that it is being forced as the norm that every woman must follow.
Kristy
Not to stir the pot by any means or upset anyone but....
I belong to a large group of women in the United States and worldwide who suffer from endometriosis and birth control pills are the main line of defense against this disease. Birth control pills halt the growth of cysts in my uterus and ovary (I only have one due to this disease). These pills also enable me to live pain & growth-free (for now) with this disease.
Although I certainly do not like how these drugs are marketed, I just wanted you all to be aware that there is some good that comes from artificial birth control pills. Luckily, I have not suffered those the problems some of my fellow commenters have.
When I first started reading your post, I thought you were going to talk about how watching TV is a good form of birth control in itself because it keeps a couple from other pursuits! :)
But I completely agree about birth control - like other previous commenters I had a lot of trouble on the pill (which had been prescribed to solve very irregular cycles) - it was basically exchanging one set of problems for another in my case.
It has been a blessing to us to allow God to be sovereign in how many children we have and how close together they are - even though at first that meant over a year of infertility issues and now two babies close together. It has taught us a lot about trusting God and His goodness.
Flannery: Please know this post was in no way an attack on those women, like yourself, who have medical conditions in which birth control pills are the best defense. I completely understand about that. I was just referring to the many cases where young women are on birth control pills or any method of artificial contraceptives without being given hardly any information. I've been amazed to find out so many people go on contraceptives not knowing what the risks involved are. If feminists are truly all about information, why aren't they giving these girls and women more information on the harmful side effects which can easily result from taking the pill - especially if the pill is only being taken to prevent pregnancy. If you are in a situation where you are seeking to avoid pregnancy (medical reasons, your husband's desire, etc.) there are much more safe alternatives to artificial contraceptives.
I did an interview for a college newspaper yesterday on feminism, biblical womanhood, etc. One of the big topics which the female interviewer (obviously a college student herself) asked me many questions on was the issue of birth control. I talked about the many harmful side effects of the pill and how very few young women are being informed of this. She asked me if I thought birth control was wrong in all instances and if the pill should be outlawed. I made references to cases like yours, Flannery, where it might be necessary for a medical condition, but then I talked about how if someone is just seeking to prevent pregnancy, at least they could use a more healthful and less intrusive alternative. She gave a blank response and wanted to know what other alternatives there were to birth control pills/artificial contraceptives. She seriously acted as if she'd never heard of any others. If found it quite surprising that a seemingly well-informed and well-educated female journalism student was clueless when it came to things like natural family planning, etc.
Let me be quick to say I don't condone or practice any kind of birth control and my husband and I want to joyfully and gladly and willingly accept as many children as the Lord sees fit to bless us with. However, I understand that not everyone is in that same place, not all husbands believe like my husband, and not all situations are like ours. That said, if you are going to practice some kind of birth control, please, please research the harmful side effects of the pill before going on it.
Oh and what I was mostly trying to convey was that the whole big thing most people have against a woman having a lot of children is that it is so harmful to her health. You can't imagine how many times I hear this or how often someone comes in and blasts the women who comment on this blog with all this "You are killing yourself" commentary. If they are so worried about women's health, why aren't they equally as condemning on birth control pills? It seems a little out of balance to me.
Yeah, aren't commercials just "gag me with a pitchfork!" They are embarrassing and belong taken off the air. I was on the pill to treat my PCOS, and ended up off it and getting my gallbladder removed 6 weeks later. The side-effects are terrible! My one doctor tried to convince me that it had helped me and wants me back on it, but I would prefer something better, that goes to the root of the endocrine problem. And if the docs think I am going to pop bc pills when I am married, I won't. There is no way I am going to contribute to aborting my own child. No way!
Crystal, some of the pastors at my blog are thinking of doing some posts on Natural Family Planning. Ill keep you posted.
I have a feeling that the college student who interviewed was not clueless to alternative birth contro. I think she did not know how to deal with you and your anti birth control position. She probably never met a woman like yourself.
I appreciate that some people have a moral aversion to contraception and/or the pill in particular. But there's a reason why physicians tout pregnancy as riskier than taking the pill -- because the scientific evidence supports it.
Women who take oral contraceptives, for instance, have a 1 in 3,500 chance of developing a potentially dangerous blood clot, while pregnant women have a 1 in 1,000 chance. In addition, the risk of death from pregnancy and delivery (1 in 8,700) is higher than the annual risk of death from pill use for all women except those aged 35–44 who smoke.
Elizabeth, but what about all the studies which show that pregnancy and breast-feeding actually increase the health of the mother and decrease her chances of getting many types of cancers? I never hear the doctors talking about that. Or, that pregnancy is a natural process, one God perfectly designed the female anatomy and body for? Taking birth control pills shuts down this natural process in a very unnatural way.
Hmmm... so would your conclusion be that we should avoid pregnancy altogether and let the Muslims overpopulate the world (as they are already doing in many countries whose birthrate is so low they cannot sustain themselves)? Or that because, in some circumstances, with some types of medical conditions, pregnancy is riskier than taking the pill (though I highly doubt it is usually the case), so therefore doctors should strongly encourage pills instead of pregnancy? I'm not following the logic.
My point was that if the feminists and others who so strongly advocate birth control are truly concerned about women's health, why aren't they out there telling women about the side effects? Why do they leave women so uninformed?
BC ads aren't just on television, they are all over the Internet too, like when I am reading my e-mail, there is a side bar offering free trial runs on a ring of some sort for the female area...LOL. I laugh because what woman wants to stick a ring in her private areas? Same thing with foam and sponges..ewww. Talk about unsanitary...LOL. That sounds hilarious. Unfortunatly, BC is handed out like candy and girls as young as 12 are being encouraged to be on it for those "just in case" moments. My goodness...
Here in the Army they love giving women the pill. I have never used any BC before and never will, but here's 2 funny stories. They are short, don't worry. In 2005, before my arrival in Germany, we had to get checked out mentally, to make sure we were sane enough to travel. So the doc asks me what BC I was on. I said none. He gave me this stare like I had 7 horns or something and he was like "you aren't on any"? Ugh... Then in mid 2006 I suffered a neck injury and while getting pre screened the nurse asked if I was on BC and I told her no and she gave me the same wide eyed stare. It's just hilarious.
Doctors won't tell their patients the true side effects, it's sad, but then again patients won't even bother to resarch it, so I guess it goes both ways.
If something should come up in this life like female issues and the doc tries to put me on the pill, I would not accept at first, but really pray (after all God is the Great Physician and has healed me from many small ailments)and then seek other alternatives, because there are other alternatives out there, most doctors just want to do what's easiest.
Still waiting on the Lord to bless us with baby #1. It would probably help if I lost weight ;-)
God Bless You!
Anonymous: Every time I've done an interview this past year, the interviewer has seemed to be caught quite off guard. I'm not sure exactly what they are expecting of me - maybe some docile, unthinking, uneducated doormat? I have no idea but they always seem quite surprised that I am passionate about what I believe, that I am opinionated, that I am not afraid to articulate what I believe, and yet, at the same time, I'm madly in love with my husband, want to do everything I can to please and honor and love and reverence him, and that I'm the happiest mom and homemaker around. Just because I submit to my husband does not mean I no longer have a brain. :)
It is because I love my husband and want to honor him that I do all I can to be educated, informed, articulate, thinking, etc. I have a long way to go, but I'm constantly seeking to sharpen my mind for our next in-depth dinner discussion. :)
Oh and I forgot to say, personally I think it takes a whole lot of brains to be a wife and mother and homemaker. :)
"Hmmm... so would your conclusion be that we should avoid pregnancy altogether?"
*chuckles* Not at all! I just wanted to provide people with the actual data so they could assess the relative dangers of taking BC and being pregnant for themselves. Being pregnant is indeed a wonderful thing, and a natural process--but we shouldn't delude ourselves about the risks involved, or assume that taking the pill would be just as dangerous (it's not).
I'd say feminists and others who advocate a woman's right to choose whether or not to opt for birth control have actually done a pretty good job of informing women of the potential risks involved. Check out this balanced analysis, from 4woman.gov:
Today’s pills have lower doses of hormones than earlier birth control pills. This has greatly lowered the risk of side effects; however, there are both benefits and risks with taking birth control pills. Benefits include having more regular and lighter periods, fewer menstrual cramps; and a lower risk for ovarian and endometrial cancer, and pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). Serious side effects include an increased chance, for some women, of developing heart disease, high blood pressure, and blood clots. Minor side effects include nausea, headaches, sore breasts, weight gain, irregular bleeding and depression. Many of these side effects go away after taking the pill for a few months. Women who smoke, are over age 35, or have a history of blood clots or breast or endometrial cancer are more at risk for dangerous side effects and may not be able to take the pill.
Well, that's good some people are being informed, but most women I know who were on the pill, were never informed of anything. My mom went on the pill as a young girl and they never even told her what it was. She didn't figure it out until she was in her late teens.
And I don't think I'll exchange cramps for nausea. No thanks. Dealing with it every few years for the first few months of pregnancy is enough for me.
That piece did fail to say anything about most pills being abortive. Kind of a biggie in my mind. Another piece of information that is rarely EVER told. Of course, with such a low value placed on human life these days, I guess no one cares about that simple little fact. They never seem to realize that they could have been aborted by the pill, too. :(
I'm being awful verbose today. Can anyone tell that I'm feeling better and back to my much more energetic, hyper self?? :)
Wow! It's totally creepy that your mom was put on BC as a young girl without knowing what it was. Were her parents aware it was being prescribed to her?!
The vast majority of the time, the pill works by preventing a woman from ovulating, making pregnancy impossible. However--and women should be aware of this before accepting a prescription--very occasionally, it can prevent a fertilized egg from implanting in the wall of the uterus. If you believe that meaningful life begins at the moment of conception, I'd imagine you'd have a problem with that.
And for what it's worth, I am on BC, have occasional spotting, no nausea, and MUCH less painful periods than before!
Being one of those folks that took birth control pills and Provera to control menses irregularity, endometriosis, and polycystic ovaries...the synthetic meds ended up changing my life and my family for the worse for a good slot of time. There are other avenues to explore such as this site and others similar share: http://www.beinghealthynaturally.com/womenshealth/index.htm The way out of the tunnel for me was getting to the root of the problem rather than symptom masking and additional symptoms via meds. Not said to provoke conflict or cast grief on anyone, but to share that what started off good with me blindly trusting medicine alone without investigating natural wellness showed true colors with a little time. Do be careful.
"I'm not sure exactly what they are expecting of me - maybe some docile, unthinking, uneducated doormat?"
I'm sure all your regular readers here found this idea just as laughable as I did. Crystal? An uneducated doormat? Hardly!
"Just because I submit to my husband does not mean I no longer have a brain."
Amen sister!
Diana
Everyone wants the easy way out. Pop a pill and avoid a "problem" Pregnancy is a disease in our culture, since it seems that everyone wants everyone on the pill or sporting cervical caps, foams, whatever. Oh and by the way, did I mention that the word "pharmaceutical" is greek for witchcraft? Look it up in the Strong's Concordance and have a great day! Crystal, you certainly are doing better dirlfriend! You are getting that spunk! lol
Crystal, I was like your mother in taking the pill without information...as a young girl at the beginning of menstrual cycles with irregularity and spotting. I will never forget the family doctor handing my mother a lunch bag filled with doctor samples so we wouldn't have to buy them for many months. A much later trip to a specialist was more of the same attitude only with a written prescription and a warning that smoking while taking them would be a problem. One pill led to different pills and varied surgeries and then on to fertility drugs. sigh No information on their causing flora imbalance, or their causing stress on the liver and kidneys...well, there are doctors today that DO partner with the patient in their care rather than expecting blind trust of yesteryear and support of the pharmaceutical industry and their clinical trials and advertising methods like my elders may have. Not bitter these days...just better equipped for evaluating God's best for me.
I do agree with you on the breast feeding. It is also better for the child. Less allergies and ear infections. It also increases the bond with the child and the mother. I knew a woman who had two children. She bottle fed her 1st child but breastfed her 2nd. She said there is a quite a difference. Human milk and cows milk are different. It is much easier for a little baby to break down human milk although you must watch what you eat. Cows milk causes gas. Formula is garbage.
You do not have to post this but be careful not to make an idol out of him. He may be a good man but he is a man.
Anonymous: Just because I love and reverence my husband (that word comes straight from the Bible, by the way) does not mean I don't know that he isn't perfect. Of course he's not perfect. But he's a wonderful husband and father and I'm so grateful for him. I'm blessed to be married to him and believe me, if you met him, you'd agree with me. And besides, there's nothing wrong with a wife being proud of her husband... at least I sure don't think so! :) Affirmation does not mean idolization. I worship God, not my husband. I reverence and love my husband.
I hated being on the pill. It made me feel sick all the time, it made me sad and grumpy all the time, I didn't want to be touched (romanticly or otherwise), and it stopped my usualy period pain tablets from working, so overall there was more pain involved. And every month when I got my period I would suddenly think "I'm not having a baby" because my body had been fooled into thinking that I was.
Not only that, but we had far more 'accidents' (none resulting in a pregnancy) on the pill than on the previous type of contraception we were using (condoms). I had been marched down to the doctor by my mum (at the age of 20) and put on it because it was 'safer'.
I hated every minute of it. I'm glad to be out of that relationship and 'looking' for a husband who wants all the blessings God can give.
Anonymous: I'm with you all the way on breast-feeding as I believe that it is definitely what is best. However, I do know of some mothers who cannot breastfeed or, as in the case of most infant adoption, don't have many alternatives other than formula. I've known of some who do goat's milk as opposed to formula, but not everyone has access to that. So, even though I'm a big supporter of breast-feeding, I know that it is not always possible in every circumstance. Just wanted to throw that out there for our formula-feeding mommies. We love you all, too. :)
Garbage? I formula fed my oldest (basically) and he has no allegies. His cousin (the same age)was breastfed exclusively and is allergic to eveything...and his uncle. Ok, I exagerated. He isn't allergic to his uncle, but he sure acts like it! ;-)
I agree that breast is best. Just FYI...
I think the whole message of Nuva Ring is that it is 'freeing' for the woman and that implies that children are enslaving. It is just another example of societies distorted view of traditional mothers staying home with and caring for "their"children.
Ok, I'd love to write more but my master is coming home soon. Gotta get the incense burning, candles, ceremonial supper, etc...
(I am just kidding, btw.)
I am a 23 year old, formerly homeschooled, youth pastor's wife and am 36 weeks pregnant with my first, precious little boy.
I don't know really where to begin but that I do disagree with most of you. I currently work for a medical research facility that researches current drugs as well as new drugs for mostly mental illness like depression, anxiety, bipolar, and dementia. I believe that these illnesses are real illnesses and although some people (like my husband) can do fine without being medicated, in a lot of cases, medication is their only means of improvement. I believe that God is very present in our world and that he has blessed many people with the ability to develop new medical treatments for every day things. I do believe that some medication can be harmful to some people, and just because something is mentioned in a disclaimer doesn't mean that it's a common thing. Sometimes, just because 1 person had 1 side effect while on the drug (which may or may not be drug related at all) it has to be documented as such.
Any way, that's my 2 cents worth about medication. As far as the whole birth control aspect goes. I was on birth control when we first got married and did not have one ill side effect to it. The type that I was on basically told my body that I was pregnant 3 weeks out of the month basically causing me not to ovulate. Honestly, God is SOOOO much bigger than a little tiny pill and I knew all along that if he wanted me to have a baby, that little pill would not stop him one bit. I also didn't have any trouble getting pregnant after going off of it. 2 months later, we were thrilled by a positive home pregnancy test.
I am planning on delivering my precious bundle of joy in a hospital and don't know right now whether I'll go "all natural". I know people who have done both and I'm just just not sure right now what my body will be able to handle, so I'm trusting God that as I go in he'll be with me and show me the best thing for me. I have a wonderful Dr. that I trust will give me the best advice.
I know that I'll probably ruffle a lot of feathers, but as your sister in Christ I hope that you'll show grace to me. I'm not perfect and in no way believe that I have all the answers. But, I serve the same Lord and pray that you'll be open to the opinions of others.
God bless you all today.
-E
Hi, E! You are completely free to disagree here(so long as you do so respectfully, which you did) and I know this is a touchy subject. I just wanted to comment on one thing: I hear a lot of people who say "God is so much bigger than birth control pills." Well, yes, He is. However, we need to be careful how far we take that argument.
Should we take it to the level of abortion? "God is so much bigger than abortion so I'll have this abortion and if He wants my baby to live, He can keep my baby alive." That seems a little absurd to me. Very rarely does abortion end in life. In fact, I think there are only a few documented cases of that happening.
We need to be really careful when we start talking in those terms of making choices which we know the probable outcome of and saying "God can always override it." Why not just leave it up to Him in the first place instead of hormonally messing with His natural design?
Also, would you really want to be the product of a failed birth control attempt? Wouldn't that just make you feel loved? "My parents didn't want me and tried not to have me, but oops, here I am."
Zan, I totally agree. "Freedom" in this day and age seems to be synonymous with not being pregnant or having children. Honestly, though, if you have that kind of attitude towards children, I don't know that you should be a parent since it sounds like you don't know the first thing about what being a parent is about. Have your freedom, I'll take my adorable children!
By the way, your last sentence was just classic. :) You're too funny!
I'm only 16, but I'm pretty sure I'm against all forms of birth control. For the last 2 years I've been on and off the pill to help with period cramps and pimples, but a few months ago I read articles about how the pill increases the risk of some cancers and making it harder to concieve once off the pill, also my mum took the pill for the same reasons as me when she was a teen and had alot of trouble having children. After I ended up with a period lasting 2 weeks, I realised God was telling me that I shouldn't be on the pill. Since I've stopped taking it I've felt so much better!
I get so tired of the "my God is bigger than your God," argument. I like to follow the God of the Bible. God commands us not to kill. If taking any form of medication might destroy innocent life than we should stay away from it. I didn't know that the pill could prevent the implantation of a fertilized egg. Most Christians (no, make that, people) I know don't know this. My grandmother was is shock when I told her. She worked in healthcare for awhile (She's only in her mid 60s, too).I knew that I would never go on hormonal BC because everyone I knew gained weight or lost their hair. I knew this one girl who had gained all this weight and had thinning hair. I asked her if she was sorry she was on it and she said, "bleep, no! I don't want anymore bleepin' kids." So, being fat and balding is better...right?
Anyway, I am all for medicines to improve quality of life, but not if it will risk the life of an innocent being I may be carrying. I believe that a fertilized egg is a life, so I am not going to do anything to snuff it out or endanger it. If you don't believe that a fertilized egg is a life than arguing against this is pointless and a whole other argument/debate should be started entitled, "When Does Life Begin?" (I know that there are some "Lifetime Movie of the Week" situations when a woman might need to use abortive methods to end a pregnancy because she is struggling through some kind terminal illness or something. If you are in that situation, make sure you sell your story to the highest bidder and do a lot of praying to what God would want you to do.)
I was just kidding about the whole servant/master illustration with my husband. I do realize that there are women out there who are married to men who have not yet learned to walk upright. They are treated like slaves and I don't want anyone to think that I am belittling unfortunate women in these situations. I was just poking fun at the people who think we may be worshiping our husbands because we use the term "reverence." I am sure that there are women who do worship their husbands. (I haven't met any. The whole husband worship thing is out of vogue.)Just wanted to clarify my statement.
I think it is easy for Crystal and me to reverence our husbands because our husbands make it easy for us to do this. My husband treats me like gold and I am so blessed. :-)I need to remember that fact more because I am sure it is hard to reverence husbands who treat their wives like doormats.
(The last paragraph, was my profound thought of the night while I was soaking in the tub last night.)
Oh, congratulations, E., on your upcoming birth of you little bugg (I call all babies buggs, I don't know why. 'Babies' is overused I guess) This must be such an exciting time for you and your family. Enjoy the little bugger!
I was on BC for about a year and went off b/c the Lord changed my heart on the issue. As soon as I went off I began to suffer from severely irregular periods and then prolonged periods of bleeding. I went to my OB/GYN and found out that I had polycystic ovarian syndrome. Because of the cysts I was no longer ovulating and then I was shedding my lining and bleeding for 10 days or more. The major concern was for hemorrhaging.
Being on the pill had suppressed the cysts and allowed everything to operate correctly. So, of course the doctor’s first option for me was to go back on “The Pill”.
Thankfully, I have an amazing OB who understood my reasons for not wanting to go back on the pill. She walked me through other options and we tried out a few until one worked. She did warn me that getting pregnant would take some extra work since the cysts were so invasive.
3 months after being told that I found out I was pregnant, and in 2 1/1 months I will get to hold my baby boy in my arms for the first time!
My point- I knew that the Lord had shown me clearly that I should not be on BC. When I was told I needed to go back on them, I trusted He had another way. That was the whole reason He wanted me off of the pill in the first place- I had to surrender my control to His.
I understand that this is a very personal and heated topic. My suggestion is to simply seek the Lords heart on the issue. He will reveal Himself to us when we earnestly seek Him. Maybe others will get an answer that will be different than mine, for whatever reason. It is not my place to judge. But I do know that we serve a faithful God who deserves our trust- in all circumstances.
Btw, Crystal, you're sounding SO much better! I'm so glad you're finally getting over the nausea! :-D
Almost no women in my circle of family/friends knows about the (albeit small) risk of BC preventing a fertilized egg from implanting. Honestly, for those who are past their childbearing years I really can't bring myself to tell them about it. I have tried to tell women who were about to get married, or who were newlyweds -- but I just can't bring myself to crush the heart of a Godly woman who was uninformed and simply going along with what her doctor told her all those years ago. It will change nothing, except that it will make her feel guilty for something that was not her fault. Think about all those women who took drugs in Europe that were supposed to cure morning sickness -- only to find out that the drugs caused horrible birth defects. We are only human... People used to think that mercury was an elixer of life -- now we know that it is toxic. People used to rub asbestos on their bodies to cure disease, but of course we now know that it causes cancer. I think that *once you are aware* of the side effects, you are responsible for using the knowledge correctly.
On another note, I'm with all of you who have husbands who treat you in such a way that you *want* to honor and love and serve them. It's such a blessing to be married to a man who thinks of you before he thinks of himself. It's also a self-fulfilling loop, because that makes *me* want to think of him first, which further encourages him to think of me first.... etc, etc, etc. :)
My story is sadly common: before my wonderful husband and I married we were urged to use birth control by both our pastor and the people who were mentoring us. When I went to the doctor I still asked for information on natural family planning. She said she'd get me a pamphlet. When I went back, she still didn't have any information for me on NFP and prescribed me the pill. No one ever told me that the pill could kill my children. We might have still used birth control, but we would not have to wonder if we killed our own children. (I wanted babies, and the issue was also painted as "submitting to my husband.") I did not want to be on the pill; although I had few if any side effects, it felt wrong. I also do not think that the pill is not the reason I have no living children today (I may or may not have had very early miscarriages). However, if I could have a child--even if it meant still being in a tiny, cramped, moldy underground apartment instead of our big, beautiful house in the woods overlooking a stream--neither my husband nor I would hesitate to have a child.
I now have a new doctor (Thank God) who is Catholic and probably would not subscribe birth control pills even for a medical condition. I know that they are very upfront that they will have nothing to do with abortion. I want nothing to do with a doctor that thinks killing babies is okay, and I am willing to go far or do research to get that. (So fun looking for a doctor. "I have a question about the doctor's view on abortion." "Oh, we don't do abortions, let me get you some numbers"... and Fallon's customer service had never heard of anyone requesting a doctor who was pro-life... I eventually got help from the Catholic diocese, although I am not Catholic.)
When I found out the truth about birth control, shortly after I thought I had a miscarriage but after I was already off the pill, I felt betrayed by my pastor, my church, and my doctor. I have since managed (after 3 or 4 months of work) to get the book "Do birth control pills cause abortions?" by Randy Alcorn into my church. (I am also willing to send this to anyone who wants it; I bought 100 and probably still have around 70.) There is some sympathy in the church for a negative view of the pill, but I have not spoken with anyone who shares my view on birth control in general. My brother- and sister-in-law, who have done some church-hopping, haven't come across any churches in our area that are committed to God's first command (Genesis 1:28). I know God will give us the strength if he wants us to stay where we are, but it is so hard to look at all the other families with their two or three children when I would welcome 17 (or more) and have none. I don't share much about my beliefs because I don't know how, the openings I get tend to be ignorant comments that leave me speechless. And we're the youngest couple in church and have no children of our own.
I think part of the problem is the acceptance of evolution... the way I see it, if God made our bodies perfectly, why would we need to change the way they work?
I don't have the advantage you do, Crystal, of parents who share my convictions. My mom has sympathy (and my dad disbelief) for wanting 17 children, but they are not Christians. My husband's parents are Christians, but don't share our convictions in this matter. His dad feels like he has to defend the choices he made, and his mom does not say much either way.
If God wanted us to change churches, He would give us a church to change to. I don't know why He wants us to stay where we are, but at the moment that is where He has put us.
One question. Are any of you aware that taking aspirin or ibuprofen can keep a fertilized egg from implanting? It doesn't always happen just like the "pill" but it is known to happen. I found this out when we were going through fertility treatments. Thought I'd share.
You'd almost think fertility was a deadly cancer. You have to take poison into your body to kill cancer (chemotherapy or radiation). It seems lots of people view having children the same way--worth the risk of the "poison" to avoid them. Oh, wait, isn't that one of the arguments for birth control? "It's just medicine like anything else, right?". ;)
Having delved into studying pregnancy and birth, I am learning more and more that interfering with these things and fertility in a medical way may actually be causing the many terrors and health issues that we associate with birth in this era. Medically interfering when something is not a medical problem (like a normally progressing labor, and that does not mean one on a 12 hour time limit, btw!) can *cause* problems, including maternal death in a few cases. There is a place for medicine, but treating healthy parts of our bodies and healthy bodily functions as diseases is certain to harm rather than help.
Crystal, thank you for bringing this up! Someone posted a link for natural help that I am going to look into for my sister. At 15 she is young, but wise enough to be leery of popping a pill to solve her problem. I give her big kudos for that!
This topic is so interesting to me. About 10 years ago, when I was 30, I wondered about birth control. When I asked trusted Christian friends what they thought, everyone laughed. I was very discouraged and then made myself forget about, it was "easier" to just have 2 kids--I have been very weak in my walk with God, unfortunately.
My last pregnancy was "unplanned" and I am devestated at how horrible I behaved during that precious time. I attend church reguarly, but was not encouraged or uplifted during this time, just sympathy. How sad is that?
I did not know that BCP could cause abortions, and I doubt many of my friends do either.
When I have recently mentioned the fact that maybe God does not want us to use BCP's, the reactions were interesting. I was told by one friend that her dad had 8 kids in his family and he has siblings he won't see in heaven. Basically, too many children = too many chances for failure. Never mind her dad was a missionary and has brought many to Christ! Also, one woman said sarcastically 'oh our husbands would love that'. You know husbands don't like children!;)
And, I when I do say anything people scoff because, sad to say, I had my tubes tied after my last child 3 years ago. I wish I had friends like you all here. Encouraging biblical standards, NOT current human standards.
BTW, my almost 3 year old is such a joy. This "unwanted" child tells me literally 20 times a day he loves me and is always up for a hug. I am blessed way beyond what I deserve. God is remarkable. I am speechless to express my gratitude to Him for his mercy, grace and love!
That's actually a pretty clever/catchy commercial, unfortunatly!
I have endometriosis and was on BC for approx 1 year. I felt so much better on it and my complexion that wasnt horrible, but not perfect, totally cleared.
I have been off the pill for 4+ years now, in hopes of getting pregnant-no luck. Every month I have a day or two that is essentially useless as I have horrendous cramping. I sleep with a heating pad and pretty much keep medicated with ibuprofen for 2 days straight. I've had surgery to get rid of the endometriosis and that helped for a little while but I can tell by my symptoms that its back.
I choose to endure the pain every month and not go back on the pill because at least I have the hope and the chance of a baby. It is heartbreaking every month when my period starts, but I still have the hope that maybe next month...
Jill
I definitely agree wth all of you in so much that birth control should not be touted as an easy way out, epecially for those who are not married! (Which is how it usually is portrayed) However, I wanted to ask a question very respectfully- What about those couples who are newly married and truly can't afford to have a child at this point in their lives? We got married about 5 months ago, and we are simply not in a financial position to have a child. I might add that there are moments where I would like nothing more than to discover I am preganant! I want to be a mommy more than anything, after being a wife! But I see it as that I am putting aside that desire until later, when we are better prepared. To us, it would seem irresponsible. Also, I am still in school in the mornings, so I could not be home with my child. I want more than anything in this world to be able to stay home with my baby from the very first moments of his/her life. But I would not be able to do this for two reasons: 1) I attend Bible school, and 2)I would have to work in order for us to pay the bills at this point. I absolutely believe that God would supply our every need, but we are just trying our best to use wisdom. I am truly asking this respectfully and out of a heart of genuine concern.
Anonymous: I strongly encourage you and anyone else with similar questions/concerns to read the following two blog posts I wrote in the past:
How Big is Your God?
http://www.biblicalwomanhood.com/2005/12/how-big-is-your-god.html
Can't Afford to Have Children?
http://www.biblicalwomanhood.com/2006/01/cant-afford-to-have-children.html
There's so much more I could say on this, but I think those articles at least touch sort of the tip of the iceberg concerning my thoughts on this and what I've seen the Lord do in our lives.
Blessings!
Anonymous--we are expecting our third child and not once have we been in a "good financial position" to have children. If we were waiting for that, we'd have no children at all! To the people around us, we are totally irresponsible. :p
But we have never suffered. God truly has provided, sometimes with a different job or better pay, and sometimes by adjusting our attitudes about what really are "needs" and what are just "wants".
When we married, dh was working 3 different part time jobs for shameful pay for organizations in Ethiopia. We rented a 1 bedroom apt in a concrete building, and had to share a disgusting toilet and a cold-water shower with other residents. I had to learn to cook on a one-burner kerosene stove. When I got pregnant on our honeymoon, we had no idea where we could move that would be better for the baby, or who would deliver the baby, or how we'd afford the hospital. We have come a long way since then (all the way to the States!), but we are still not at a point where we're supposed to be able to "afford" 3 children. God's wisdom is foolishness to humans. And whether we were in Ethiopia, or in the States with dh working a factory job, or now with dh having a job with benefits, but still half the national average, I have always been at home. When it started to look like we couldn't pay the bills, we found ways to get rid of bills or avoid them. That is why I still fuss with super-slow dialup internet, or else use the library--it is one of the many small things that pile up to make it possible for us to live on dh's income.
Trusting God in this has meant that we have had the privilage of seeing his hand directly working in our lives, and it is so cool! It's not easy, and we have had weeks and months when we are on our knees saying "Lord, we have no idea what to do, or how we are going to get through this!", we often have to make do or do without, but our 3 precious children are so much worth it, and they will last for eternity. All our finances and physical comforts will rot away, perhaps even before we die!
Ok, I figured you all would say something to that affect about God providing, and as I said, I absolutley believe God will provide when we need Him to- but no one addressed the fact that I could not be home with my child because of school for another year and a half...just thought I would point that out.
"but no one addressed the fact that I could not be home with my child because of school for another year and a half..."
Sorry, I thought I did. Being home was more important than school to me, so I didn't go away to school. I took several correspondence courses at home, though. However, you are assuming that you would get pregnant right away. You might. Or you might not. ;) Even then you would have 9 months to complete as much school as you could in that time.
We have to remember that if we go off birth control, it's not *BAM* you're pregnant! unless God wills it so. And even then, he is kind enough not to just drop them in our laps immediately--he gives us 9 months before we have to drop everything and care for them. :D
If you got pregnant, you could continue school until you had the baby. And then you *could* be home. You'd just have to make the choice about which was more important. ;)
I really don't mean to drag this out unnecessarily...and I am truly sorry if I am being difficult. I am not trying to be! But I did want to kind of explain where I am coming from...I am in my second year of Bible school, where I am preparing for ministry, and I know without a doubt that going to this school is God's will for my life right now. That's why I want to stay committed to it before we start a family- I really want to be done with school, actually! I have already gotten my bachelor's in music at a Christian University (which I also know was God's will) and am now at the Bible school, so I am ready to be done, but I am continuing because I feel that is what God would have me to do. Also, I really don't like the idea of hormonal contraceptives either, and even now I am researching alternatives, and my husband and I are praying about the best way for us. So all that to say, I am simply doing what I know God has called me to do! Thank you all for listening and sharing your hearts!
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