Bell and whistles, gadgets and gizmos
On another blog I frequent a discussion was going on regarding older (or older-fashioned mothers for that matter) who do not feel that they fit in with the trendy, hip mothers. I myself feel this way sometimes. Crystal, what are your opinions regarding some of today's "must haves" for little ones? I am talking about the stimulating nurseries and toys (like Baby Einstein), the music classes, the gym classes, etc...for babies under a year old! -a readerI guess you could say that I'm an "old-fashioned mom" because I'm too practical to be into non-essentials. When Kathrynne was born, we stuck with the necessities. We didn't get any of those one hundred and one new-fangled gizmos and gadgets they have out for babies now. Not only did we not have room to be stepping over them in our cracker-box apartment, we didn't have money to buy them. Kathrynne has survived just fine with a bed, a stroller, a car seat, some blankets, diapers, and clothes. She has a few toys, but truth be told, she usually prefers books and grown-up activities to toys. She enjoys her baby dolls, bike, and building with Duplos, but other than that, she finds plenty of creative things to do without all the bells and whistles.
I've noticed, especially recently, that she wants to be productive. Since she has spent so much time next to me "helping" me with whatever task I am working on, she is starting to try and come up with helpful things to do on her own. As we were folding laundry yesterday, she instinctly picked up the piles of folded clothes and started putting them away in different drawers. Sure, she didn't exactly get the right things in the right drawers, but she is trying and as I continue to teach and encourage her in this, I see how she will be such a big help to me in just a few more years. She also has started taking iniative in picking things up, putting things away, and washing the dishes. I'm constantly amazed at how much of the day she spends trying to do helpful things!
We want to train her, at an early age, to be a contributor to our family. So many young people today do not know how to live for anything but themselves. Life revolves around them - their happiness, their friends, their wants, their entertainment. We want to instill selflessness and a strong work ethic in our children from an early age so that it comes naturally as they grow older. This doesn't mean that life is all work and no play. I'm all for creative play, but I think it needs to be balanced with work and responsibility. Besides, who says hard work can't be fun? Kathrynne thinks helping wash the dishes is about one of the greatest activities ever!
In answer to your question, I don't think children need to have all of the gizmos and gadgets and extracurricular activities. If you choose to participate in some of these classes or buy your children some of those toys, that's fine by me. Just remember that all the bells and whistles in the world won't replace a parent's love and investment of quality time with their children.
Any other moms have thoughts they want to chime in with?
posted by Crystal Paine at 2:20 PM
18 Comments:
Hi, Crystal! I'm not a mom yet, but I would like to say that I completely agree with you about children helping. I have five younger siblings, and my parents usually let them play; they don't have to help very much at home. This past weekend, though, I kept them, and they were so excited when I asked them to help me clean up the house and cook dinner! I think that children feel much more capable and useful--and happy--when they are a part of a family that works TOGETHER. Thanks for this post!
I have to agree.
Our daughter is not in Little Gym or Kindermusic or any of those other programs. They may be great, but we cannot afford $8 a class a week, and don't have a second vehicle to get there! Miss Pear is perfectly happy dancing to music at home, and it is not one she points and either says please or starts dancing to show what she would like.
I also have her as my little helper as I go through my daily work. She is 21 months old and helps make the bed (she pulls Daddy's pillows off the bed, helps smooth the sheets, and brings me the pillows to put back on the bed), she tries to help fold laundry, and even though it takes longer I try to let her help. One day we were folding a quilt and it turned into a game -- an hour later the quilt was still not folded, but we had lots of fun.
When I am working in the kitchen Miss Pear pushes her chair to the counter and says "hep, hep, hep" She wants to help me. So I give her some measuring cups and spoons and she plays and I what needs done, telling her what I am doing the whole time. When I do dishes she has her chair in front of the rinse sink and plays along with me - we get a bit wet, but it is worth it to slowly teach her.
We certainly seem to have lots of toys, at least in my opinion, but Miss Pear seems to prefer to help me through my day instead, even though we do take frequent play breaks as we work.
I guess I will never be trendy, but that is okay with me!
Kristy
I am sort of a old fashioned parent I guess too! I do not like all the fancy toys, I have boys, so when we get toys they are wooden toys, trucks, books or something that educates. I don't like all the ones that make noise although we have very few of those!
I do think children do not need tons of extra activities, but I think they should have some things they do. I think it is awful when people push their children and they are in sports, dance, and all the different things as well as school with homework in Kindergarten. I let the boys do one thing at a time. This spring they did a science class and now they are playing soccer once a week for the next few weeks. They would like to take swimming lessons, but otherwise, i think we should not plan too much other things as i think it takes time away from developing relationships and being able to get away with other people and family.
I'm in total agreement as far as toys and classes go. Too much overload for the little ones. I'd rather my 2-year-old daughter be outside in nature or being creative inside, reading, etc.
I do want to add though that I've really tried to get my daughter to "help" me with household duties and she just doesn't seem to take an interest. I've tried making games out of chores, telling her how much it would help me if she will help, and telling her what we can do after chores are done, all to no avail. She may help for 10 seconds and then takes off into the other room to do something. I wonder if she just has a very short attention span or if I've taken all the fun out of "helping" Mommy :( Anyone else run into this and how have you dealt with it?
I'm all for simplicity with children. Our girls' favourite games are doll & teddy picnics,toy cooking,playing dress-up,reading with me & gardening with Daddy.Their last lot of Christmas birthday presents consisted largely of art supplies & sturdy plastic gardening tools.
The only outside activity I take my 3 yr old to is a Christian Playgroup at my older daughter's school, where I get to stay with her & we do Bible stuff, craft,puzzles & she gets to play with a few different things we don't have at home.This is just 2 hours once a week.
Both my girls love helping me at home. I recently did a post on my blog called "Dreams of Beautiful Girlhood", where I talked about the joy & pleasure they get just helping me at home.
Claire
I am not a mother and thus I can't speak from experience, but this issue is a hot one for me. I just cannot believe the amount of gadgets that are out there, that advertising makes people think they "need". What do people think that babies did 100 years ago before all this "stuff" came out? Honestly, I personally feel that this is possibly one cause of the drastically increased incidence of ADD and other "learning disabilities" that children in this world have: they are being perpetually overstimulated from the moment they enter the world. Young babies and children need to discover the world for themselves; they do not need to be constantly bombarded with fancy toys that make all kinds of noise and light up, not to mention the constant exposure to TV and video games. Oh, this makes me so upset. Yes, this is one of my pet peeves. I FIRMLY believe, like you, in teaching young ones to be productive and to think of others and not themselves. I think toys should be kept to a minimum and should be simple and encourage children to think and solve problems.
Well, I've gone on too long already. Sorry about that.
Thank you very much, Crystal, for this post.
Crystal
I am curious to your opinion.
I only have a boy so far, and hes right at the stage where hes starting to like to help put away the canned foods and "dust" when I do. Do you think its acceptable for him to be helping me do all these "housewife" chores??
I'm not a mom yet either, but I really do agree with what you said. Not only were these gadgets out of your price range, but for the most part, I think they are unessential as well. I did not have the "privelege" of having them growing up, and I turned out smart and perfectly fine! I am actually grateful that my parents showed me that I didn't have to have everything at a young age. Now that I am a teacher, I get to deal with these kids who have everything handed to them so young.. I can tell you there is a difference. The sooner children learn that life really ISNT about them, the sooner they can go on to lead more productive and God-honoring lives...
We have have basic toys for our little guy: blocks, a few stuffed animals, a xylophone, stacking cups (from my childhood!), and TONS of books. I don't like too much plastic or things that have lights and sound. Like you said, too expensive and they take up too much space. He plays with these things a little (mostly when I play with him), but left to his own "devices," he would much rather crawl and cruise around to explore his environment. (With my supervision, of course!) It's so stimulating for him, and he's already so interested at how things work! How could an exersaucer ever compete? (He's 8 1/2 months.) When I have things to do, he's with me, usually being worn in the Ergo.
I think it's so much better for babies' development to be stimulated by "authentic" experiences rather than a flashing toy or video that tries to imitate things parents should be teaching their kids!
I'm not against all these things all the time (we did receive as a gift a plastic, musical stacker that fascinates him; he spent time figuring out how to make it light up and make noise before the batteries died), but I think they can be way overused and too easily be a substitute for "real" life. Plus, I think many were designed for the convenience of the parents. "How to have a baby and NOT let it 'ruin' or interfere with YOUR life" seems to be the prevailing attitude.
Not popular maybe, but my thoughts.
Lela: I think all children, whether boys or girls, should be raised with a strong work ethic. Since we don't have a boy yet, I can't say how we might raise a boy differently than we're raising Kathrynne (though I definitely know we'd impress upon him the need to be a gentlemen and look for ways to serve his sisters/mother), but I definitely don't think there's anything wrong with boys helping around the house. In fact, I hope all of my boys learn how to cook, take care of babies, do laundry, clean bathrooms, etc. Whether they marry or not, these are skills which will be very beneficial for their whole lives.
I agree with Crystal that it's good for boys to know how to do household chores as well. I don't know for sure that my son will marry, and if he doesn't he'll need to know how to do laundry, clean, and cook. Plus, it's nice when husbands can help with things like that when their wife is pregnant or has a newborn, etc. Also, heaven forbid, if he does marry and something happens to his wife, he'll need to know how to care for a house and his children. I think it's practical on all levels. And yes, my son loves to help with laundry and dishes too. He actually claps and gets excited about "helping".
I also agree with you regarding simple, non flashy toys. However, my daughters do have too many of them at this point. My husband and I try to keep a godly perspective in this area. "Stuff" does not make a happy childhood (Although that's what every toy add, etc. tell us). As you said Crystal, godly, loving attentive parents are what our children really want and need. Besides, our girls enjoy banging on pots-n-pans in the kitchen, trying on mommy’s dress shoes, and playing with water in the sink for hours… who needs to spend money on extra toys? Most of the toys we have have been gifts from grandparents who love to shower dolls, games, craft supplies, etc. on our girls. Recently I have been praying that we would have wisdom and discernment in this area (especially with both of our daughter’s birthdays this spring) regarding this area of child training. Thank you for bringing it up!
On this thought, some toys are good that help develop motor skills. One of the toys my son plays with the most has been this round device that has blocks that go into special shaped holes and then a ring of keys that have different shapes on them to unlock doors to let the shapes you dropped in out. It is very good for motor development and he enjoys it.
Another one is a wooden shape puzzle. It is a plain wooden puzzle with all the different colored shapes and he fits them into the right spaces.
I do have them help me with things, they love to help me do things, but it is hard when you have 4 to make sure everything is getting done right!
I need to work more on getting the boys to work with me (for some reason stirring muffins and dusting furniture and sewing things just doesn't hold their interest much! lol) but we have found that in the area of toys, they don't need much. They have a few things, and certainly none of the plastic gadgets and "educational" toys they're supposed to need. Even so, it's hard to keep the "stuff" at a reasonable limit, especially with doting grandparents like they have.
We splurged on a fancy Leapfrog musical "learning" table for our daughter for Christmas (with the help of a gift card from a friend, as well as it being on sale). She liked it ok, but it ate batteries. We returned it after the 2nd batch of batteries died in 2 weeks, and got her a piano/xylophone combo instead. Simpler, less expensive, and she LOVES it. She also loves standing on her step stool/potty in front of your piano and "playing". Oh, and she LOVES helping us put things away, too. We put our pop cans in a drawer, and she helps us by dropping them in. Sure, some cans get dented in the process, but she claps with glee. I love finding things she can do. It is such a joy to watch her figure things out!
Kathy, I hope you see this. My own little boy(22 months) had lost interest in some of the chores he helps me do. I quit asking for his help for a week or two and now he's interested again. I think he just got bored. Maybe that's all it is with your little one. I will say, though, that when he's older, boredom will not be an excuse.
I agree with everyone that posted so far. We all are pretty much in one accord, even those who do not have children yet, like me.
I already know that if the Lord gives me and DH children, toys are going to be limited (esp. the noisy ones or the ones that eat up batteries in a week). We would like to have toys with shapes, colors, and numbers so our children can learn from an early age. To be truthful, I am not to keen on all those Baby Einstein things and plopping the baby in front of the TV.
Another thing I see many parents really go in to debt over is decorating the nursery...my goodness....lol. I see it this way...it's a baby..it's not going to notice if the walls are pink with ballarina slippers or blue with clouds...LOL.
I agree in today's society that children are over stressed with too many extra curricular activities..poor things. I agree with one EC activity at a time.
Just mt $0.02 :)
I am not big on flashy toys. I like the simple wooden Thomas, Brio, Lionel trains. Both my boys love them! I hate things that make noise.If we ever get a noisy toy we do immediate "surgery" on them for our own sanity. I will say that I LOVE Baby Einstein videos. They are so helpful to me and the music isn't annoying. When both my boys are whining and I am trying to get dinner ready or catch up on housework, those vidoes come in handy. The woman who came up with Baby Einstein is a genious. I also love the Thomas vidoes. They are simple and not flashy or loud. The Rev. Awdry was another genious in my opinion.
Post a Comment
<< Home