"But if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit..."
No one ever said that marriage, homemaking, and motherhood would be easy, but if this is what God has called us to and we seek to glorify Him in and through this calling, there will be more fulfillment and rewards than we can ever imagine. Sure, that doesn't mean there won't be lots of hard work and sacrifice involved, but isn't that what the Christian life is all about? Dying to self so that God might be exalted in and through our lives.One of my recent callers came up with what I'm sure she thought was the singular most legitimate reason for not being a stay-at-home-mom: "... it's not all enjoyable." I kid you not, she actually said that, followed by, "... and I just don't seem to be able to do it well." She did say that being with the kids was fine, it was all the other stuff: housekeeping, shopping, cooking, and so forth - that were described as unrewarding and relentless and, well, just not enjoyable.
She also complained that she just couldn't do it all well. I asked her what part of putting dishes in the dishwasher and making sure the clothes got through the washer and dryer and back into drawers was too complicated for her? She laughed and said that she didn't know why it was hard for her to do it right - it just was. Mind you, this was all said with a tone that did not suggest she had great concern about doing any of it better.
Truth be told, whether coming from a man or a woman, this behavior is self-centered, and displays a character that knows little of honor, obligation and sacrifice. This is a mentality, rampant today, that speaks not of what "I can do for my family?" but only for "What will I get out of what I do for my family?"
"Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit." John 12:24
This was a verse my mom quoted over and over again when we were growing up. And she didn't just quote it, she lives it. As most of you know, my mom is the one person, next to my dad, who has been the greatest influence in my life. It was not necessarily the things that she said - though those things have very much influenced me - it is the life that she lives. She is the most sacrificial person I know. She gives and she gives and she gives. She never thinks of herself; she just keeps on giving.
I stand forever grateful to have a mother who was willing to follow the Lord and set aside herself. She could have chosen many other things in life for herself, but she has chosen to live a life of devotion to God through serving others. And because of this, her life has borne tremendous fruit.
posted by Crystal Paine at 8:15 PM
11 Comments:
Amen to all that you said, Crystal. I recently heard a Christian woman, pregnant with her first child, say, "I'm just not the stay-at-home type" and it grieved me so much.
Thank you for sharing this.
What a blessing it was to read.
~ Christina
HsKubes' Haven at Home
Crystal, In our paper last Sunday, this sad letter was an editorial. Needless to say I sent in my own editorial after I read this one!! Reading things like this are so discouraging, so I was very encouraged to read the article you posted by Dr. Laura!! I've cut and posted the editorial, sorry about the length! Christy
"Women have many roles in society
Re: Chris Fluharty letter "Women should work at home," March 6.
There is no commandment in the Bible that a woman should not supervise a man. If you are looking at Titus 2, you should understand that a woman can "work" at home and still work outside the home. It is not a full-time job to stay at home, and it does not take an expert to do both.
If you truly read the Bible as you claim, you would also see that there are plenty of examples of women working, such as Ruth, Esther, and the "Virtuous Woman" from Proverb 31. The Bible does not specify that women stay at home to cook and clean. The focus is on raising the children "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord," and both parents have this responsibility as a priority. Certainly, the influence of a mother is crucial, but so is that of the father.
Parents can still adequately raise their kids even if a woman works and is in a supervising role in her job. The world has changed since the "Leave it to Beaver" days. What did June do all day anyway? Clean and cook? Wait for Ward to get home and tell him how bad the boys were that day?
That seems very menial to me and most women who have a brain. I feel sorry for June's husband having to come home to a boring housewife.
Rebecca Fix, Springfield"
Crystal,
I have been reading you site for only a few weeks and am greatly encouraged. I thank you for sharing that verse....most days I love to serve my family but every now and then my selfishness comes out and that verse will remind me that my services has a longrange goal that I need to keep in mind. Thank you,
Shari
So if Dr. Laura's caller does work outside the home and someone else takes care of the kids during the day, doesn't that still leave her to do the housekeeping, cooking, etc. when she gets home from her day job? I mean, unless she hires a cook, a cleaning service, etc., she or her husband (or both) are going to have to take care of their household's needs. That's just part of life! If she thinks keeping a home is hard work when she has all day to do it, doing all that on top of working full time away from home is even more difficult!
I agree that "it's not enjoyable" is a dumb reason not to be a stay-at-home mom. Just like it's a dumb reason not to work or go to the dentist. I'm glad Dr. Laura made the point in that article that the same thing goes for men - it would be equally absurd for a man to decide not to go to work because he "just doesn't feel like it."
That being said, I also wanted to point out that Dr. Laura is not a stay-at-home mom - she has a radio show! Now, it's quite possible her children are school-age and she does her show while they're at school, in which case I would have no problem with that at all. But it that's the case she needs to clarify that. Otherwise she comes across as a hypocrite for telling women to stay home while she herself works.
Welcome to the world of nannies ans housekeepers!!My friend was a nanny for awhile which was good for her-help fulfill the void of infertilty.She went to work on 10PM Friday and was off 48 hours later.There was a housekeepr and her then a nanny during the week.My friend had control of the kids as if they were hers and she rarely did see the mom.The whole thing was sad and unbelievable.I am sure there are many people out there who live like this and are miserable!!
I love Dr. Laura. :) She may not be a believer, and she may be a sorta-feminist (sometimes) but she has wisdom that far too many Christians have lost or rejected.
Sarahndipidy: Someone else can correct me if I am wrong, but from what I've read of Dr. Laura, she doesn't just say things, she's actually lived them. For instance, I remember reading that when her son was young, she wrote books only when he was away to school and did her radio show late at night after he was in bed. She said she would never sacrifice her home, son, and husband for the sake of writing or speaking or a radio show. I believe her son is grown now.
I haven't listened to her hardly at all or read much of what she has written, so I can't say that I wholeheartedly endorse everything she says and does, however, I appreciated this article.
Crystal,
You are correct about Dr. Laura's situation with her son. When she couldn't be home, her husband was there for her son. I think her husband is her producer (or atleast works for her). She only had one child and he is grown and, pretty sure, is in Iraq, serving.
I don't agree with everything Dr. Laura says and I'm not sure she's the greatest role model. Keep in mind she's divorced from her first husband, and remarried. She's also Jewish. However, she is a firm believer that a woman's place is in the home and pulls no punches with those looking for excuses for their bad behavior, and for that she's to be commended.
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