No longer a feminist
In blogging on rather hot topics, I happen to get a lot of flamemail. From the absurd and ridiculous to the downright hateful. Some days, after an avalanche of such mail, I feel like quitting this whole blog thing altogether. But then I get letters like the following and I remember why it is I write. I don't plan to change the world, but if, by sharing here, God can use my simple life to impact just one or two other women, I stand humbled and grateful.
This note is from Shannon who wrote in response to this post:
This note is from Shannon who wrote in response to this post:
I am 28 now and am single without children, and you know what, it is the pits. Yes, so I can supposedly do "other things" that would not fit in with married life, but then how does it feel to go out there, take on the world and come home to nothing? Millions of women are doing it, they are enslaved to go down a path paved out by the humanistic hogwash that has been ingrained in the minds of modern women. It is pitiful really. Not that changing diapers or doing laundry is my longed-for specific career of choice, but in life the most important things are never things. (Unless you are one with the world). It is the memories created, the beauty of the little moments, and the heartfelt love that makes life so truly worth living. The smiling coo of a precious baby, a husband that says he loves you without even having to say a word.
I would do dishes, scrub floors, and cook anyday that continue the life I have at present. I am in college part-time, struggling with debt, suffering the emotional impact of the decision I made to go back and take on the world. I didn't want to, but I felt trapped. I would rather have an MRS degree, than be where I am at, but I am grateful for that rare few, like you, Crystal, that know what is truly important. You have been more instrumental in my life these past couple years, than any educational institution. I recently dug out my management binder, cleaned it up (Bon Ami and Vinegar work great!) and made some insert pages for the cover. I can't wait to get back in the groove with it.It is a clear indication that I am no longer a feminist, when I prefer making banana bread over searching for a job online!
Love, Shannon
I don't share this to anyway put myself on a pedastal for without the saving grace and mercy of the Lord, I am nothing. I share this to encourage you other women out there who are "in the trenches" with me. Don't give up. Don't lose heart. Keep on, keepin' on realizing that your life is making a difference - to your families, to other women around you, and to the world. Together we can impact this world for the glory of God - one person at a time!
posted by Crystal Paine at 12:43 AM
10 Comments:
"It is a clear indication that I am no longer a feminist, when I prefer making banana bread over searching for a job online! "
I'm glad this young woman has found a more fulfilling life path. But, you know, there are actually a LOT of feminists who would rather bake banana bread than search for a job online. Entering the rat race is not synonymous with feminism.
Hi Crystal,
All the world promises us is a heap of garbage. Sometimes it is cleverly disguised, sometimes not.
I too lived on my own as a single lady for years. It is NOT all it is cracked up to be. My heart was always God and home-centered and I patiently and (sometimes not so patiently:) waited for marrige. Not that marrige is the be all and end all of life, but for me personally, it is the best gift God has given me outside of salvation.
Blessings,
Trixie
Crystal, I just wanted to tell you that while I do not agree with everything you post about - I admire you whole-heartedly for your boldness and for the fact that you truly strive to walk the walk, not just talk the talk. Interestingly enough, while I again do not agree with some of your viewpoints, you are gifted in sharing and have such a talent at writing that honestly even though I just discovered your blog a few days ago, I have spent a lot of time thinking about what you write. I don't agree with it all but somehow it resonates pretty powerfully - at least causes me to think a lot. A lot of the way you write about how you revere and respect your husband has really stuck with me. So don't get too discouraged ....you obviously have a TREMENDOUS gift and the fact htat people disagree just shows they are thinking. Thanks for taking the time.
very interesting point of view! I just discovered your blog and I'm loving it! Keep up the good work!
http://www.saversadvice.com
That was a heart-wrenching letter. Reminded me of that song, "It's The Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of."
I really appreciate the stuff you write, Crystal, :-)
That proves that once all is said and done, living alone, caring only for one's own needs, and ferociously avoiding anything that might interfere with one's "freedom" does NOT equal happiness!!
Crystal, thank you so much for this post. I was having a challenging day and feeling very discouraged. Reading this gave me a renewed sense of hope and purpose...I am so grateful! I needed to be reminded of the blessings that I have...beautiful children, a loving husband who works hard, long shifts six days a week so I can have the opportunity to fulfull my calling to be at home, a great God who is always there for me...I'm crying as I type this because it's really sinking in how unappreciative and negative I've acted towards my loved ones lately, how I've just taken everything for granted and not truly relished the fact that I can daily serve the Lord by scrubbing floors, wiping runny noses, changing icky diapers, kissing boo-boos...thank you again for this wake up call. It's powerful!
Good on you Crystal! Keep on keeping on, you are doing a fantastic job, and there are so many of us who appreciate wholeheartedly what you do. Thank you for serving us with your blog and website.
And thank you for encouraging those of us who, like you, are trying to fight for biblical womanhood. You are a great maiden warrior of the Lord, may He bless you abundantly!
In His care,
Emily
Crystal,
I think I get the point of this post- Shnnon's sentiments highlight the desirablity of married home life. However, this post also makes me curious. Knowing your admiration of Amy Carmichel, who did not enter family life for the sake of "other things" - going into the world to share the Gospel- how do you reconcile Shannon's thoughts- single life is "the pits" with Amy's example?
MM: As I wrote recently on here when someone asked about Amy Carmichael, just because I promote or endorse a book does not mean that I agree 100% with everything that particular author did, practiced, preached, etc. As in the case of Amy Carmichael - though I love her writings and have learned much from her, my husband and I would never feel right about sending our daughter off to a foreign land unprotected.
As Amy learned early in life, doing things for self never satisfies, so Shannon is learning the same thing. Following the worldly mentality of putting yourself first is never what brings true lasting fulfillment and happiness in this life. Single life is the pits just as married life is the pits if it is lived for self. Amy lived a life that was not lived for self, but Christ. And in doing so, maybe she never married, but she definitely was part of a family - the family of God and her family at Dohnavur.
As an aside, I really hate using the term "single," because I think it just gives credence to the me-me-me mentality. As Christians, no matter what our marital status, we should all be part of a family - the family of God and our own families.
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