A brainless subservient doormat?
For those of you who are here from the rather large blog who picked up the completely butchered and taken out-of-context transcript from the Aussie show on "Surrendered Wives," (which was originally aired in the UK and then majorly condensed and edited down for those "down under") welcome! I invite you to stick around, read some of the archives, and maybe realize that I'm not some brainless subservient robotic doormat. :) Quite the contrary!
Though I was definitely disappointed in the outcome of the original UK program, the Aussie program made it look really good by comparison. There's a whole lot I could say, but I will try to keep this brief since I'm recovering from an awful bout of some intestinal bug (just what I needed before I go in for my induction, eh?!) and am getting ready to have a baby tomorrow.
For one, I am not a "surrendered wife" - I've never read the book and never plan to. From what I've read of the book in question, the whole concept is based upon manipulation. I love, honor, and serve my husband because I love the Lord and want to honor Him by honoring my husband.
For two, no, my husband does not write me a list of what I am supposed to do everyday. Not hardly. Sometimes we talk about projects he'd like for me to accomplish, often I will ask him if there is anything I can do for him that day, but he doesn't write me a list and he's never written me a list. In the original filming, they wanted to capture the fact that I seek to honor my husband in how I use my time. Since I normally write a to-do list each day, the producers thought they could capitalize on that and have him look over my list and see if there was anything else he'd like for me to do. Somehow, in the final documentary, even though I come right out and say, "Here's what I was planning to do today, is there anything else you'd like to add?" they prefaced it by saying he writes me a list. How they came to that conclusion when the documentary itself says otherwise is beyond me.
Most importantly, though, this program missed a huge, huge aspect of our marriage. They missed the point we made over and over and over again in that a Biblical marriage is not just about the wife loving and serving her husband, it's about the husband laying down his life for his wife. A Biblical marriage consists of many things, but one of the greatest things is that both husband and wife are giving 150% to the marriage out of love for each other and love for the Lord.
Yes, I love my husband. Yes, I consider it a privilege to honor and serve him. But you know what? He loves me, serves me, and honors me much more than I do him. For instance, let's take last night: After a long and busy day at work, he ran multiple errands on the way home from work for me (calling me and asking me if there was anything else he could stop and get for me in addition to the errands he was already planning on running), he planned to stop and get me a certain thing I was craving and then while he was on his way to do that, I called him and asked him if he could please come home since I was feeling so poorly. And then, he spent the evening taking care of Kathrynne, trying to get me to drink and stay hydrated while I couldn't keep anything down, doing laundry, calling the midwife to see what could be done so I wouldn't become further dehydrated, going to the store at midnight to pick up medicine and Gatorade, and then staying up with me until almost 2:00 a.m. to make sure I was going to be okay.
Does that sound like a lazy bum husband who treats his wife like a slave? I think not. And you know what? Last night was no exception. This is the way my husband lives his life. He constantly puts my needs and the needs of our family before his own. How could I not love such a man?
So, yes, the programs really missed the boat in almost all regards and I was thoroughly disappointed in the producers' choosing to completely spin things how they wanted to, but it doesn't change anything about our marriage or our home and family life. People can say whatever they want to about the fact that I choose to love, honor, and serve my husband. They can call me whatever names they choose to. They can laugh and mock. But I really could care less. I'm a child of God and have a Heavenly Father Who loves me more than anyone on this earth ever could. I'm a blessed wife married to an incredible man who takes his role to love me, give to me, and lay down his life for me very seriously. I have a wonderful marriage, I love being a stay-at-home mom to a precious little daughter, and I wake up everyday excited about living life. What more could I want?
By the way, for those interested, I point you to my podcast where I talk about why I do not consider myself an obedient wife. You might be surprised. :)
Comments are closed on this post because I'm too busy to moderate a discussion on the subject right now with the events of this week. Feel free to email me with any thoughts or commentary, though.
Though I was definitely disappointed in the outcome of the original UK program, the Aussie program made it look really good by comparison. There's a whole lot I could say, but I will try to keep this brief since I'm recovering from an awful bout of some intestinal bug (just what I needed before I go in for my induction, eh?!) and am getting ready to have a baby tomorrow.
For one, I am not a "surrendered wife" - I've never read the book and never plan to. From what I've read of the book in question, the whole concept is based upon manipulation. I love, honor, and serve my husband because I love the Lord and want to honor Him by honoring my husband.
For two, no, my husband does not write me a list of what I am supposed to do everyday. Not hardly. Sometimes we talk about projects he'd like for me to accomplish, often I will ask him if there is anything I can do for him that day, but he doesn't write me a list and he's never written me a list. In the original filming, they wanted to capture the fact that I seek to honor my husband in how I use my time. Since I normally write a to-do list each day, the producers thought they could capitalize on that and have him look over my list and see if there was anything else he'd like for me to do. Somehow, in the final documentary, even though I come right out and say, "Here's what I was planning to do today, is there anything else you'd like to add?" they prefaced it by saying he writes me a list. How they came to that conclusion when the documentary itself says otherwise is beyond me.
Most importantly, though, this program missed a huge, huge aspect of our marriage. They missed the point we made over and over and over again in that a Biblical marriage is not just about the wife loving and serving her husband, it's about the husband laying down his life for his wife. A Biblical marriage consists of many things, but one of the greatest things is that both husband and wife are giving 150% to the marriage out of love for each other and love for the Lord.
Yes, I love my husband. Yes, I consider it a privilege to honor and serve him. But you know what? He loves me, serves me, and honors me much more than I do him. For instance, let's take last night: After a long and busy day at work, he ran multiple errands on the way home from work for me (calling me and asking me if there was anything else he could stop and get for me in addition to the errands he was already planning on running), he planned to stop and get me a certain thing I was craving and then while he was on his way to do that, I called him and asked him if he could please come home since I was feeling so poorly. And then, he spent the evening taking care of Kathrynne, trying to get me to drink and stay hydrated while I couldn't keep anything down, doing laundry, calling the midwife to see what could be done so I wouldn't become further dehydrated, going to the store at midnight to pick up medicine and Gatorade, and then staying up with me until almost 2:00 a.m. to make sure I was going to be okay.
Does that sound like a lazy bum husband who treats his wife like a slave? I think not. And you know what? Last night was no exception. This is the way my husband lives his life. He constantly puts my needs and the needs of our family before his own. How could I not love such a man?
So, yes, the programs really missed the boat in almost all regards and I was thoroughly disappointed in the producers' choosing to completely spin things how they wanted to, but it doesn't change anything about our marriage or our home and family life. People can say whatever they want to about the fact that I choose to love, honor, and serve my husband. They can call me whatever names they choose to. They can laugh and mock. But I really could care less. I'm a child of God and have a Heavenly Father Who loves me more than anyone on this earth ever could. I'm a blessed wife married to an incredible man who takes his role to love me, give to me, and lay down his life for me very seriously. I have a wonderful marriage, I love being a stay-at-home mom to a precious little daughter, and I wake up everyday excited about living life. What more could I want?
By the way, for those interested, I point you to my podcast where I talk about why I do not consider myself an obedient wife. You might be surprised. :)
Comments are closed on this post because I'm too busy to moderate a discussion on the subject right now with the events of this week. Feel free to email me with any thoughts or commentary, though.
posted by Crystal Paine at 10:14 AM
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