Feminism has failed us miserably
Bravo to Anna for so clearly articulating the consequences of modern feminism:
Hat-tip to Ladies Against Feminism.
Over 40 years after the beginning of the modern feminist movement of the 1960's, we have unrestricted sex, the Pill, abortion on demand, an astronomically increased number of single mothers, teenage mothers and women in their 40's struggling with infertility; we have a fatherless generation who hasn't seen a better example; chastity is mocked, women are sexualized and coerced into selling themselves cheap; we have no-fault divorce, deterioration of family values - and I could go on and on. Tell me, how exactly does it provide women with a sense of physical and emotional security?Please do take the time to read the entire article and then feel free to comment here. However, since a topic like this always provokes a number of unlovely responses, I'll just say up front that I welcome all comments and questions from those of you who disagree but will only post those that are spoken in a sincere, considerate tone.
A woman is no longer appreciated and respected for being a woman - on the contrary, she is expected to be as masculine as possible, and every suggestion that there is, in fact, a difference in the way a men's and women's minds work meets vehement denial (even an innocent statement such as 'a research has found a higher percent of women have talent for studying languages, while men are more inclined to mathematics'). Motherhood is regarded as 'just one out of many options', and being a helpmeet is perceived as slavery.
A daughter can no longer expect to be protected by her father; a woman finds it hard to trust her husband's leadership and feel secure in her marriage, with the divorce rates so ridiculously high; a lady cannot expect chivalry anymore.
Feminism claims that before its onset, women were a faceless, abused, uneducated mass. Nothing could be further from the truth. Biblical laws have protected women for many centuries before feminism came into the picture. Take for example Deuteronomy 22:28-29. I've heard various opinions about this verse, but the bottom line is that a man cannot take a maiden's virginity and get away with it. What did feminism give us instead of defending a woman's honor and chastity? The preposterous claim that it has no importance and is more of a hindrance to a woman's 'liberation'.
Women's education is another myth. If you listen to feminists, women were nearly illiterate before the start of feminist movement. I wish they knew my great-grandmother, who was home educated and had wide knowledge of fine literature, music, arts, history and management of the home; she was accomplished in the domestic arts; she was an honored wife and the delighted mother of seven children. My grandmother did go to a women's college back in 1934, but it wasn't like today. She stayed with two respectable old ladies and helped them look after their home, and the ladies in turn looked after her and made sure no unworthy man gets near her.
Yes, feminism has provided us with 'freedom of choice' - but only for women who make a certain choice. What about women who want to fulfill their God-given role as helpmeets, wives, keepers of the home, mothers, and who see it as a satisfying, challenging, full-time work? But ah, they are mindless slaves! Oppressed! Brainwashed! They should be educated and forced - by legislations and campaigns - to make the right 'choice'.
If feminism is a movement for women's rights and for improving the position of women, its ultimate test should be a reality check of women's well-being, security and happiness. After doing such a check, isn't it obvious that feminism miserably failed?
Hat-tip to Ladies Against Feminism.
posted by Crystal Paine at 2:03 PM
11 Comments:
Hello Crystal,
I heartily applaud the author for her blunt honesty!
Why/how did we as a society let feminists pour their poisen of discontentment down the throats of a whole nation?!
As a child I was educated in government schools and a big effort was made to indoctrinate students into the feminest agenda. It made no sense what-so-ever! I loved growing up in a home headed by parents that did not buy into that nonsense. Why trade happiness for unhappiness?
When you get right down to it, of all the women I know, the ones that are the most unhappy, always complaining and running other people down would probably consider themselves to be staunch feminists.
Take Care,
Trixie
Trixie - thanks for sharing. What I do want to make clear here is that I am not bashing feminists themselves, but seeking to bring to light the underlying beliefs that feminism purports. In my many interactions with feminists over the past few years, I have come to realize that most feminists are well-meaning (though I've definitely met my fair share of feminists who are anything but well-meaning and will do all they can to demonize and hurl vitriolic attacks on anyone who dares to question their belief-system), they just haven't thought through the consequences of their beliefs, nor have they been presented with a more wholesome viewpoint. Many feminists I know have never seen a Christian family up close and their only brush with Christian families has been through the blog world. As such, many of them can not imagine what it is like to be loved, cherished, and protected by a man.
I think one of the most powerful statements we can make to the world is to show a better way - to live Godly lives, to reach out with the love of Christ, to set an example of loving, Godly, Christian homes. It's not enough to "criticize the darkness" - we also need to do everything we can to light candles!
Where is this utopia you speak of?
I'm a Christian woman and regular lurker on this site and many others. I find these sites like beautiful works of art that I just don't understand. I do not understand the desire to return to yesteryear.
In my family, for multiple generations - as far back as we can trace, we have had the antithesis of the kind of life you and Anna describe (I read her blog, too!). It simply did not exist.
My guess would be that many of the feminists who ardently hold on to their ideals have had similar family lines. Families in which women WERE abused, forgotten, dismissed, and diminished as a matter of course. And if they were like mine, the bible was often used as a reason, weapon, and excuse. For them, (and me) life without feminism neccessarily means life without personal dignity and control.
Now, though I am young in the Lord I know that what I held on to was the illusion of control. But that "illusion" got me away from the men who harmed me because other men (teachers, relatives, AND pastors) all turned a blind eye.
I am married now and a step-mother and trying desperately to behave more like the Proverbs 31 woman (a VERY tall order). I have been submitting to my husbands headship as unto the Lord.
My marriage has flourished. My stepson has come to know the Lord, and I wait everyday for Jesus to work in me.
I have never been more unhappy. I long for my pre-Christian, pre-marriage, pre-child college days. I was smart, full of energy and possiblity and purpose. Now, I'm nervous just writing to you.
Now that my life is giving to God, to my husband, to my stepson - I am nothing but used.
I write all this to say that feminism and its pitfalls are not experienced as black and white. It is the only life I've ever known. And I loved it.
But I am learning to love my salvation more.
:)
Thank you for your prayers and advice.
--Autumn C.
Hi Crystal, I've been reading your blog for awhile and wanted to thank you for the encouragement. It's nice to hear someone discussing the things that have been on my heart for awhile, especially the failure of feminism. Thank you!
Autumn, My heart breaks for the many women like you (as I mentioned in my above comment) who do not know what it is like to be raised in a healthy, loving family. I was blessed beyond measure to have parents who loved the Lord, loved each other, and loved me and my siblings. Who showed a beautiful example of a Godly marriage before us everyday. I know a Godly marriage and a happy home is possible because I was raised in one. My parents were by no means perfect, but there was so much love and happiness in our home.
We now have so much happiness in our little home. Of course we have hard days, of course we have disagreements, of course we make mistakes and have to ask forgiveness, but there is love, joy, and harmony. And I truly love my life - I look forward to living each day. I am completely fulfilled.
This fulfillment can only come from the Lord. Before I was a child of God, yes I was very loved by my parents, but I wasn't fulfilled. I wasn't at peace. I was seeking more, searching for meaning in life, longing for peace in my heart.
I finally found true peace in Christ and Christ alone.
If you are not happy, I urge you to search your heart as to why. Are you trying to do things in your own strength? You can't do it on your own. We all need the grace and help of the Lord each and every day. Trying in our own strength only sets us up to fail.
If you are truly a child of God, you will have inner peace and fulfillment as you rest and hope in the Lord, as you seek to glorify Him with your life, as you follow in His steps and give yourself to serving Him through loving and serving others. No, your life won't always be a bed of roses - there will be plenty of thorns along the way - but you can find true joy, peace, and contentment in the midst of these difficulties as you look to the Lord.
And in Christ you will find that everyday is an exciting journey of growing, and learning, and loving. Of seeing God do great and mighty things on your behalf! Of walking in obedience and finding blessing!
And you will never want to go back to what "once was."
God bless you!
I just wanted to leave a note to say thanks, Crystal, for the tone & focus on Christ throughout this discussion, particularly in the comment section.
If I am feeling discontented or unfulfilled in home life, it always goes back to my relationship with Christ. I've finally started to learn that when I feel dissatisfied in some area of life, I should deal with it by examining my walk with the Lord! (Not by trying to change my circumstances, as is my natural wont :)
But when I am satisfied in Christ, somehow even an imperfect marriage and incomplete home are also satisfying, more truly fulfilling than living for self could ever be.
Hi, Crystal. I am a feminist who was raised in a Christian family with a mother who stayed at home. I (and every other feminist I know) would never think to disparage a woman who chooses to stay at home. The beauty of feminism for me is that a woman like my mother can devote her life to raising her children and supporting her husband, as she was called to do and is fulfilled in, while a woman like myself can go to school and devote my life to the work I am called to do and am fulfilled in. I have the deepest respect and love for my mother, but I am not called to the same life that she was, and I am extremely thankful that I have the choice to pursue my own calling.
I am also thankful that I have the option to decide for myself who is an 'unworthy man' (although I love the idea of boarding with older ladies during school!). Of course, I listen and take advice from people I trust, mostly my mother and brother, but the final choice to get married was between my fiance and myself, and I am confident (having had to weed out the unworthy men) that we made a good decision.
This is what feminism means to me-- allowing women to choose for themselves what will make them happy, and, more importantly, to discern for themselves the call of God on their lives. It makes me sad that this goal is so often disparaged by anti-feminists, so thank you for your respectful tone.
Hi Crystal, and thanks for linking to my post. It was written quite a while ago, so I appreciate this renewed discussion.
My heart goes out to Autumn and to all the women who suffered abuse in their family. I think it goes without saying there can't be ANY justification for that - and trying to justify evil behavior towards women by using arguments based on what is said in the Bible, it's, well, blasphemy! I have no other word.
Godly husbands don't abuse their wives. Period.
To protect women, we don't need to overthrow Biblical standards. Quite the contrary. We need to ENFORCE them! If something isn't going the way it should, it isn't because the set of perfect, God-given laws doesn't fit anymore - it's because we, as human beings, don't always measure up.
Crystal,
I have been reading your blog and others similar to it for several weeks now and feel I must comment.
I am a born again Christian, raised in a Christian home by parents in full-time mission work. I was educated in state schools, one year homeschooled due to my parent's work and frequent moving. I studied for a degree in Nursing and having practiced for 7 years, moved into lecturing 6 years ago. I then studied at postgraduate level and loved my career - having met and married a wonderful Christian man who supported me in every way while I was under pressure with the demands of work and study.
Over the past few months, I have grown increasingly uneasy about how much my job takes over our life. I am now 35 and we are considering starting a family if God blesses us in that. I was initially worried about how we would afford a child, with a mortgage to pay and even inquired about the cost of full-time childcare! (I often said I would not have children if I couldn't raise them myself as their mother - so for a while I thought we could not afford it and would never have any).
I have since attributed my growing unease with my life to God's gentle stirring - causing me to think very carefully about our life choices. We have prayed and talked about the situation and are busy working out how we could make my caring for our future children work within the Biblical outline for mothering and fathering.
I have been immensely encouraged by the stories I have read - on your blog and many others. We live in a strongly materialistic culture and I can imagine that many of our friends and family members (our parents excepted) will be shocked at the thought of my working less outside the home in order to prioritise caring for a child of my own. Many will consider my years of education and career development in the caring professions as being wasted, but I now no longer think of it this way. While I nursed and as I taught, I had many opportunities to care for others in the Biblical outworking of my feminine role.
Having experienced a career and, God willing, a family in the future, I can say without qualification that a woman cannot have it all if she wants to care and nurture a child, bringing it up in a true Christian home, modelling Biblical principles and bringing up the child in the nurture and admonition of the Gospel. For many years, I thought I could, as did my peer group of colleages adn Christian friends.
I am just so glad to have experienced this uneasiness and am thankful that God has spoken to us in this way before we were in a situation to make one of the biggest errors of judgement that would have eternal consequences.
Please be encouraged in your aim to develop Biblical Womanhood.
Pauline.
I must say that I too sometimes feel inadequate when I read this site......I am older than most of the women....a believer.....but sometimes I feel that others are breezing along while I live in the real world. I never doubt God's love.....I just wish He didn't trust me soooo much sometimes. I know I can't have a testimony without a test.....but I'm more than ready to pass and move on...
Pogren - We all are inadequate without the grace and mercy of God. Without Him, I am nothing. And believe me, no Christian is "breezing along" - we all have plenty of hard things and we all make mistakes every day, but that doesn't mean we live as downcast, downtrodden people. No! In Christ, we have the VICTORY! In Christ and Christ *alone*!
We are no longer dead in sins - we are alive unto Christ. We can do *ALL THINGS* through Him. As Christians, we should be living victorious lives because we have been set free from the power of sin and been given Eternal Life and hope everlasting.
Let's walk as children of LIGHT!
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