And then I had two
I used to think I was a pretty good multi-tasker. Then I had two children and found I didn't know the half of what real multi-tasking was all about. Now it pretty much seems I have to be doing five things at once just for survival.
(And now all the moms of many may collectively chuckle at how naive I am to think I know something about multi-tasking!)
Isn't it interesting how God uses motherhood to stretch us and to "knock us off our rocker"? Since having two, I've learned this even more and I'm sure I'll continue to learn it with each new child the Lord blesses us with! Like my mom told me the other day, "Children force you to have to depend upon the Lord more than ever knew you had to before." Another great quote of hers is: "If I didn't have children, I'd think I was a pretty patient person."
Anyone else had to re-learn anything since becoming a mom to one, or two, or however many?
(And now all the moms of many may collectively chuckle at how naive I am to think I know something about multi-tasking!)
Isn't it interesting how God uses motherhood to stretch us and to "knock us off our rocker"? Since having two, I've learned this even more and I'm sure I'll continue to learn it with each new child the Lord blesses us with! Like my mom told me the other day, "Children force you to have to depend upon the Lord more than ever knew you had to before." Another great quote of hers is: "If I didn't have children, I'd think I was a pretty patient person."
Anyone else had to re-learn anything since becoming a mom to one, or two, or however many?
posted by Crystal Paine at 4:07 PM
26 Comments:
Ha ha! You're funny! I remember transitioning to baby #2 actually being HARDER than the first. But don't worry, baby #3 for me was a breeze!
Stephanie
AMEN! Your mom is right, I thought I was pretty patient too... two sons later and I'm hanging on to God in dependency for every second!
Thank you for your site. I just came upon it today and it's so refreshing.
Sheila
I have had to relearn absolutely everything. I am not who I thought I was!
What your mom says is absolutely true. 100%. I just laughed and laughed when I read that. But, that being said, my two oldest were gone for four days with my husband on a backpacking trip. So I was left with a baby and a 3yo. While less dirt was in the house --- I had forgotten just how much time a 3yo can require who doesn't have any big brothers to occupy him! So, having two really has it's own challenges that you won't experience again.
You are a honest and mother. I like the fact that you are real. Turn around and they are grown.
Grandma Chris
Oh my goodness. I was sitting here today with the third and I have so many things to do that it really doesn't matter that I had a c-section 3 weeks ago. I was cleaning the kitchen and trying to do so many things at once and thought of you. I wander how Crytal is adjusting. We will make it :)
Chrissy T
I had #3 when #1 was 16 and #2 was 8! She was a late-in-life blessing. :-)
Yes, you forget about how tough it is with the sleepless nights, living life around THEIR schedule, and not being able to leave the house without a diaper bag. But you'll be surprised how quickly it becomes second nature.
By the way, Crystal, I really enjoy your blog and I have learned a lot from it. They say the older women are supposed to teach the younger ones, but I'm 44 and have learned a lot from you! Keep up the good work -- and congratulations on the beautiful little girl!
I have six and after each one I have had to start all over again. It is amazing what adding one extra little baby did to my home, it took me awhile to get things evened out. Praise the Lord He was helping me through every step.
God Bless
Jess~
In my experience adjusting to one was tough. You have to deny your wants (and privacy needs!) for the baby. Then #2 comes along and you realize that you really hadn't given up that much of your time or self after all. #3 was much easier for me. I was already in the groove.
That is so true!! I have to ask the Lord for wisdom throughout the day. In a just over a couple of months baby #5 will be joining us.
So very true!
One of the biggest things for me was learning how to break projects down into smaller tasks. There's just not time to spend hours on a housekeeping task or project or shopping expedition. Instead of cleaning the whole kitchen, I might get one shelf organized and wiped out, etc. I chafed about that for a long time, but I finally conceded that that's ok, that anything is better than nothing.
I had to relearn to finish things. It's not unusual for me to have half the laundry folded, the dishwasher half emptied, the bed half made... you get the picture. Every time I get distracted by the kids, I start the next project, completely forgetting I was in the middle of something else!
Well, I can't relate to multi-tasking as a mother but I sure can as a NURSE! Try talking on the phone, writing a new medical order on a scratch piece of paper, pulling medication from the Pixus system and thinking about who needs what next and you have a typical moment in my day. :)
Sometimes I also answer the phone while I am using the restroom or check a patient's pulse while I am listening to heart sounds or bowel sounds.
As a result, I think I have developed a semi-transient state of ADD (attention deficit disorder). When I am at home I can't remember what I planned to do from one task to the next because the speed is so much s-l-o-w-e-r. It's like I have to adjust between working in hyperdrive at work and neutral at home. Very weird. I don't know how else to describe.
I think I can safely say that women make better nurses in part because of their multi-tasking ability. There is no other way to be an effective nurse.
But I also agree that patience comes through trials rather than having patience naturally first off. I used to think I was an incredibly patient person until I became a nurse. Now I have to think much more about my words and actions. What a sanctifying process!
Great thoughts from your post. :)
I'm so glad to hear that others had a hard time with baby #2. I felt that way too. I did okay with the first but when my second came along I was overwhelmed. #3 was so much easier and my 4th is really a breeze.
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who thought #3 was easier to add than #2. So take heart, Crystal, this might be as tough as it gets!
I have to confess some fear as we approach #4s arrival in 2 months, since my oldest is not yet even 4.5 years old. This is an area I constantly have to hand over to the Lord, knowing that He gives His children exactly what we need in order to do ALL things that He's called us to! It's so true that dependence upon Him, His grace and forgiveness, becomes an absolute requirement!!
I had (mostly) little girls for my 1st 5 and then I had 4 little boys in a row. Now I am just starting to homeschool those little guys and I'm thinking I may have to completely relearn how to homeschool. :)
It is harder w/two very little ones because they both need you so much and can't help much at all. Be easy on yourself and take the time to enjoy them. :)
My first baby was so hard that I find it hard to relate to people who had it hard when they had 2 to take care of. For me it was when I had my third I felt like I got hit by a huge truck! My second baby kept the first one so much more occupied!
But then later There were three little people needed to be cared for at once and I am back to feeling a little more in control, but still, for sure learning all the time about multi tasking!
One thing I learned was to not expect as much from myself and to have days where I did do fun stuff that was not housework as it was going to be there tomorrow, the exact same thing whether I did today or not. Sometimes you have to get away from it, we would go and eat dinner at a park or do something away from home sometimes. It really helped revive me for more of the same!
It was hard going from one child to two children for me, simply because my oldest wasn't even two years old and it was difficult to take care of him and a newborn at the same time. In other ways, it was easier than the first, though, because I didn't have TIME to worry about every little thing. Six months later it is still very hectic, but I'm learning to be more tolerant of things not always going as planned. I have four things that are a priority to get done every day in the realm of homemaking: meals, dishes, basic clutter pick up, and laundry. On days when there are opportunities, I get the heavier cleaning done as I can. I love sanitizing wipes!:-)
I agree with Stephanie- I think number 2 is much more difficult than number 1. But we learn and grow and depend on God. Somehow we make it through and now I look back at my tweeners and think "it wasn't so bad".
You will be great!
i had to relearn what is really important and understand that nothing is really that important,read that again
esp. with a newborn! Other than tending to baby's needs, reading books to toddler, having a semi picked up house and a meal on the table for hubby with a peaceful wife... Having my daily prayer time, these things are about all that is important at this time in your life. as time moves on you can add more to it, but i would suggest enjoying where you are at and not trying to accomplish too much.... I always thought, you never know, I may not be blessed with another baby again... Enjoy every minute of now... xoxox
I can't say having #2, or #3 made me sit there and feel like I was overwhelmed. Maybe if I hadn't have been going through college and working as a teacher with # 1 I may have felt the huge change. Of course, they were fairly spread apart. They are now 10, 5, and 2. I can't have anymore, which honestly I am great with. Now, when my kids have a sleep over with Nana and Papa and all I have at home is the 2 year old (I am a SAHM now) - that is when I am like, "Look at what I can do!" I mean you get stuff done in a day or two that would normally take me a week! No wonder I could go through college and work as a teacher with only 1 child. I guess what I am saying is that I can totally relate with Crystal, but in reverse. : )
Johanna
All the time! My list would be too long! lol! Just when you think you have something figured out and things are going along smoothly, something invariably happens to bring me to my prayer closet again for wisdom and a solution!
Motherhood has stretched me in ways I never imagined possible. The Lord truly uses my being a mother to sanctify me and make me rely more on Him.
Our children and I sing "I need thee every hour" but changed it to "I need thee every second!" We just all giggle and smile when we sing it like that. It is just so true we do need Him every second. It is by His grace we can even train up these precious souls for Him. Nothing we do on our own.
Blessings,
Theresa
mom to 6 soon to be 7 in Feb./Mar. 2008, Lord willing
Crystal, I posted about this here: http://mamarussellsblog.blogspot.com/2007/04/beauty-of-three.html .
It's true, transition is hard. For me, it was hardest going from 2 to 3. For some it is from 1 to 2.
I had to relearn how to live on very little sleep at time. How to get a ton of things done in just an hour or so (nap time). How to give up having a perfectly clean house. I have had to relearn quiet time...the list can go on and on.
heather
My most difficult transitions were from 1 to 2, then from 2 to 3. From 3 to the 5 we now have has been fairly easy. I got used to being outnumbered all the time, and became an expert at crowd control, lol. My most useful tips:
1. Teach your older children to obey on the first command, every time. Teach this from the earliest age of comprehension up. This will make your life soooo much easier when you have a preschooler, a toddler, and a nursing baby.
2. Keep your diaper bag stocked and ready to go, and keep it in the same place. It's much easier to restock after you've returned from an outing than it is to run around feeling like you've forgotten something. Keep your keys and cell phone in the same place every time you put them down also. You'll be so thankful when you're suffering from Mommy Brain and trying to get the kids out the door. Teach them to keep their shoes, blankets, lovies, etc. in the same place every time they return home as well.
3. Routine, routine, routine. Not schedule, routine. The more things you can learn to do automatically, the better. Even thought I'm not a huge fan of Flylady, she's great at teaching you to make things automatic, like laundry, cleaning, and putting things away. The less you have to think about with little ones, the less you'll forget to do.
4. Everyone takes a two-hour rest/nap time every day. My oldest two (10 & 7) can read or rest quietly, and my youngest three (4, 3, and 5 months) nap. I also either read or nap, and sometimes fold laundy. I DO NOT clean the house, return phone calls, pay bills, or do anything demanding time, energy or brain cells. This is time for Mommy to have peace and quiet, and to rest.
What a question to ask! I am still adjusting to my ever growing family and I am going to have to make another adjustment once more!
I am a mother of six children...2 boys and 4 girls. After having my two boys, I thought I was destined to be a mother of many boys but then He blessed me with one girl after another. We are now expecting our seventh child in late August or early September and I have chosen to be surprised again (as with all of my children). I am constantly adjusting, multitasking, running circles, you name it. There is NEVER a dull moment around my house and I haven't yet adjusted...my oldest is currently turning 10 next Friday. I am soooo excited to FINALLY have a 10 year old, but I am still learning to adjust to many children.
A few things I have learned as a mother of many...
1) Nothing happens outside of the Lord's will.
2) You have to relax about the organizational structure of the home with many young children because no matter how hard you try, you are constantly picking up and it is NEVER perfect.
3) Training, training, training. Don't do anything that your children can do, training them to clean the home will help you immensely.
4) YOU can't do it all. As your family grows, so does your work. Don't expect yourself to do everything. Ask for help from the church, family or even your children (again training them to do your job).
5) With this pregnancy in particular, I have had to take on the supervisor job...meaning that I have to sit and rest while instructing my children on what they can do. And guess what?!!! They can do it!
6) Never compromise your health to keep your home in perfect order. Take your supplements, get your rest, and do only what you are able. It will eventually get done.
7) And finally, keep your eyes ever on Christ, praying without ceasing and studying to grow in your knowledge of Christ!
Blessings!
Heather
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