The casualization of women's dress
Mrs. Wilt posted a great article on the casualization of women's dress.
Today when we went to share lunch with Mr. Wilt, I was met with a very curious sight. Three women, obviously related, walked from the building where he works. In the group there was an older lady, a middle-aged lady, and a younger lady. I believe from the similarity in appearance they were probably a grandmother, her daughter, and the youngest, the granddaughter. Let me relate to you the appearance of the trio:
- The oldest lady had a lovely curled hairstyle, a fuchsia pantsuit and a floral scarf tied around her neck. She had on comfortable, coordinating shoes and accessories.
- The middle-aged lady had on nice pants and a pullover shirt which was not tucked in. Her hair was nicely done, but her appearance was a bit more casual than the first.
- The youngest lady had on cutoffs and a tank top. She wore flip-flops and her hair loose.
Sadly, this trend is a common one in our culture today- with youth tends to come sloppiness in dress. Until recent years, ladies knew the difference between formal, semi-formal, and casual dress; and pride was taken in adhering to the dress code in social situations where it would be required. In 2005, our society's lack of "dress etiquette" culminated in the unfortunate wearing of flip-flops by the Northwestern lacrosse team to...the White House. (As an aside, the White House recently re-instated the dress code, which specifically states NO FLIP-FLOPS in capital letters- LOL.)
Although I admit to loving flip-flops (I wouldn't dare wear them to the White House, though!), I do think it is sad how casual people dress nowadays. To me it shows a lack of respect - something we seem to have lost in this generation. No, I'm not saying we need to all go don hats and high heels for every occasion, but I am really tired of the frayed, holey, tattered look that is prevalent almost everywhere. And I'm especially frustrated with the stores who sell the clothes already looking like that.
posted by Crystal Paine at 12:00 PM
23 Comments:
Hey Sweets,
I enjoyed this post. I wear dresses everyday!!!!!!!!!!!! :) Personal conviction thing. Anyway, I also dress casual and clean and presentable around the house or to play dates. It was nice to see the many comments on this post.
Chrissy T
everyone always screams culture culture culture when this subject comes up so i will tell you why i am mainly dresses in today's culture. ~smile~
i don't believe the bible says "don't wear pants if you're female" however , in today's culture, where pants are so accepted and so visible it is the woman who wears a dress or skirt who "sticks out". wow! what a platform for Christ! every man i know says he thinks a woman is more feminine in a dress and women are always saying to me- "you look so dressed up and pretty while i look frumpy." so yes dresses in today's culture do make a statement. it has to be the right dress of course- you can't wear a low-cut minidress and call it feminine.!!!
i am treated differently by both sexes when i wear a dress. men are more likely to help me in whatever i am doing, more likely to open the door for me, and speak with a "cleaner" mouth than when i wear pants. i get nods and soft hellos - in a polite way- when i wear a dress but NOT when i wear pants. it speaks respect i believe. it's like i'm not one of the gang but i stand out.
i do believe there are times when pants are appropriate but not for the most part. that's my opinion of course but it came after a lot of study. why not let culture be our guide since that is what is always brought up?
think how you act when you wear a dress instead of pants? is it different? do you feel differently? more feminine? i believe what God is calling us women to do is to celebrate our femininity.
I have to admit I pretty much live in jeans or yoga-style pants but I try to keep things fairly tailored and wear a nice top. I chose yoga/athletic pants over plain ol' sweats because they present a more pulled together appearance, rather than a slovenly or overly comfy look (real "sweats" look lousy on me, too bulky and I feel cruddy too).
I'm all for dressing things up when I'm out of the house for a more important occasion, but when I'm around the house or running errands, that's my "look". Most important to me is that I appear clean and presentable, rather than overly "done" (okay, so I rarely wear makeup anyway, that's more of a special deal too) or trashy look, or a completely underdressed look either.
I would probably wear dresses more if they didn't just flat out get in my way. I would like to make or buy some aprons for around the house though - with a nice big pocket for hauling bits and pieces from room to room while cleaning!
I didn't really view Mrs. Wilt's post as a dresses vs. pants issue although that seemed to be the trail the comments took.--The point I got from it is how sloppy women (and men too) tend to look these days. I even catch this in myself at times.
A very good post!
I work outside of the home. I get up early, shower, fix my hair, put on my makeup and iron a nice outfit for work.
There are others at my workplace who come to work with not an ounce of makeup (and they could use some), hair slicked back in a tight ponytail (I assume because they didnt want to fix it) and wrinkley clothes. I dont understand how you can feel good about yourself, interact with the public and do your best work when you look like you just rolled out of bed. I dont think you have to look like a fashion model, but when you're representing a company, your family, or Christ I would think you would want to look your best.
I think that Mrs. B. is right, that it isn't so much a dresses vs. pants issue. Generally speaking though, I hear the most positive addresses on feminine attire from women who tend to lean more toward dresses.
I think that a woman can look very nice in a nice blouse and slacks. The main point just seems to be that so many women today are so "casual" as to think that putting on a pair of jeans instead of shorts consitutes semi-formal wear. lol We have just gone so far away from expectations as to what is appropriate, and at what times, that taking care with one's appearance seems to be "odd" these days. That's pretty sad.
Yes, I agree that it comes down to dressing neat, clean, tidily & femininely,as a way to respect others.
Dress standards decline with the general decline in morals, manners & respect.
I wouldn't go out visiting, shopping or to church in dirty spring cleaning or gardening clothes, just as I wouldn't go out in skimpy, provocative gear, as that could stumble my fellow man, and that also would be a form of lack of respect & Christian love.
The general trend of ugly,torn & faded clothing makes me want to go against the flow & teach my daughters to do the same. I want to bring back the beauty & grace of my Grandmother's day.
PS.Your flip-flops don't bother me Crystal.They can look quite pretty on some women with the right clothes!
Regarding make-up, I think young girls and women look very pretty without make-up, but not every one is blessed with beautiful skin, so if make-up will help it should be worn. I only started wearing make-up after turning 40, just to look a little bit more presentable and I wish I could still ’get away’ with not wearing any.
The East-Indian population of the town I grew up in were all Muslim and the women wore the most beautiful outfits. Flowy pants and a matching flowy top that was as long as a dress, and then a soft scarf around the neck or on the head. A kind of soft layered look. They looked distinctly and effortlessly feminine. I wish I had a picture! Women can look as feminine in ’womanly’ pants as in a dress!
Hi Crystal,
What really blows my mind is that someone will go to the mall and pay $50 for a pair of pants that look like Fido used them for a chew toy, while you can get lovely skirts at thrift stores or on clearance for a few dollars. Lately I have been wearing skirts more and I love how I feel in doing so! I feel more confident and am treated with more respect!
Alot of this is very new to me, as I have always looked at people who are too "dressed up" in every day life as coming across as prideful or snobbish. I'm not advocating being a slob or immodest (I would love for some women i regularly see at the store to cover up!!! what's with pregnant ladies leaving their bellies hanging out lately? yuck!!!), but I think that being overdressed looks out of place and sometimes even silly.
For example, we live in a rural farming community but in our church there is alot of emphasis on proper attire (I am thankful for a church that teaches modesty), but I feel often that dressing up (as many at church do) looks really silly in an area where people are farmers or factory workers. This has been true at most churches we've attended in our life. It comes across, I guess, as trying to look like something you aren't...putting on airs. I've always taken it as one area where it is acceptable in churches not to walk with integrity--it's like dressing up for a play in a costume. When I dress like that I feel like I am wearing someone else's clothes.
This has been on my mind a lot lately as one of the older ladies I know recently mentioned to me that she is dis that she so often sees me in sandals (dressy sandals, not flip flops mind you, with a slight heel), and that I never wear pantyhose. She further commented about how I never have on makeup, and that I never wear nicer blouses, and she thinks this is dishonoring to God to not dress my best (not realizing I AM wearing my best). I am still processing that, as none of thrse things occurred to me as biblical issues...looking our best sure. It really bothered me that she feels I am trying to dishonor God when actually I feel an enormous amount of stress over dressing nicely, modestly, and affordably, while pleasing my husband first of all. It's not always easy to dress fancy when you are as tall as me, with size 11 wide feet, and a really big chest. Dresses either look too tight at the top or too absurdly big at the waist, for one.
I don't wear makeup because my husband thinks I'm beautiful without and would prefer that I not wear it. I wear my hair in ponytail most days because its very very long and I'm quite busy running after my two little arrows and have neither the time, nor the inclination to fix it in some ornate style, which, BTW, my daughter would pull out because she's a grabber.
Just wanted to throw that out there. Some folks are plain, not because they can't be bothered but because they have chosen to look and live simply.
Jen, Kimberly, and others - Just to clarify, I'm not saying here that I think everyone needs to dress a certain way or that the wearing of make-up or not wearing of make-up is right or wrong and so forth. I believe that you should seek to honor the Lord by honoring your husband (if you are married) in how you dress. That will mean a bit of different things for different people.
What I'm referring to (and what I believe Mrs. Wilt is referring to) is the perpetual complete slob look sported by so many in society nowadays. The unkempt, disheveled, ratty-tatty look - not just when people are gardening or farming - but all. the. time. I think it is a sad reflection of an overall lack of respect and an overall laziness. That's just my personal feeling though. You are free to disagree. I do believe that we are to do all things decently and in order - and this includes our outward appearance, but I don't think that this means we all need to wear Sunday-going-to-meeting clothes all of the time. I still like flip-flops and ponytails myself, but I try to make an effort to look nice and presentable for my husband everyday. After all, I want him to think I'm the best dressed woman around. :)
I wanted to touch on my earlier comment. I wrote that "I wore dresses everyday!!!" I just wanted to say that even though I wear dresses I believe it is the sloppy issue she was trying to come across but I also felt like I needed to clarify that even though I wear dresses everyday I do go casual and that I think you can be very casual and neat and presentable as well as shine for the Lord. That was what I was trying to say.
Chrissy T
Oh Crystal, I wasn't responding to you directly. Sorry, I should've clarified. I see Mrs. Wilt's point and I agree with it. I just take issue with the idea expressed by a few of your commenters that if you don't wear makeup or "do" your hair, that somehow you'll look shabby or not put together. That's all :-)
Cheers!
Good article!
I do agree with what someone said about pregnant women with their bellies hanging out...ewww...I mean pregnancy is a beuatiful thing but the world doesn't want to see the stretch marks. This is why they make bigger clothing or maternity clothing :)
Besides the sloppy ratty tatty look (see it alot on the Army base), what drives me nuts is when people going to the store in their pajamas! You have seen them...they are in a faded shirt and with Rainbow Brite (or something else, I just thought of that off the top of my head) pj bottoms or boxers!!! Save it for the bedroom!
Imagine what society will look like 5 or 10 years from now???? *shudders*
Hopefully the Lord will be back before then. :)
I agree with the premiss of the blog which I believe to be that women are dressing more casually and that this can look sloppy at times. However I truly believe that we have to be very careful not to take that to the extreme and say that those dressed more casually are less respectful. Or those who put their hair in a pony tail or don't wear make-up are somehow not as spiritual. We have to be sure not to be judging the outward appearances. It is the same thing as we all know, but truly God sees the heart. I agree that immodest dressing can be an indicator that a woman is not following God in this area and may be an indicator of her spiritual condition. But casual dress in my heart and mind does not mean one is not giving their best to the Lord. I attend a Bible study and as a leader I have to submit to their dress code, which is dresses or skirts, and pantyhose. I submit and have no problem with it, but when I lead a Ladies Bible study in my home I wear jeans, flip flops, etc. and feel just as right. I don't think I look sloppy, just casual. I think we have to be careful not to judge others outer appearance, and get to know them for who they are. The opposite is true, too, *I* can't judge someone who is always dressed up either. I have tended to look at those people as being 'worldly" and I know how wrong that is of me! I also agree that we should dress to please our husbands, and as unmarried daughters, we should listen to the advice of our father's who are their to guide and protect!
Carla
Interesting views on make-up. A hundred years or so ago a modest woman wouldn't consider wearing it. I myself have noticed that as I draw closer to 40 that I look better with less on. I also believe I'm being frugal by not needing vast amounts of make up. As for dress, I did notice, a year or so ago, that I had an over abundance of casual clothes and that when (very rarely- except church) I did need something nicer I was lacking. I make it a point now to have a balanced wardrobe of casual (for home) and more dressier choices. It's not any harder or more expensive it just the choice of picking up a blouse instead of a t-shirt, a skirt instead of shorts, slacks instead of jeans, and shoes instead of flip flops. Something else I also realized is that as my husband climbs higher into management at his company (Costco- which is pretty casual)I really need to look put together when I go into his store to do my shopping. If I look sloppy it reflects poorly on him. I also don't want to go in looking like a heiress. It's a fine line.
I also forgot to say that it also really depends on where you live as to what is appropriate levels of dressyness. What is dressy in a rural area probably wouldn't pass muster in say Paris or NYC. We lived a few years in San Antonio and I lived in flip flops. The climate dictated what was worn. (I must say I'm from the Pacific Northwest so I was unused to such heat and humidity.) Now that we have moved to Michigan I actually own shoes. LOL!
When we ladies go out in public let us remember we are ambassadors of the King. That is in appearance and actions.
Most people that see us in public will NOT get to meet us and know how we act. But, they will see how we dress. Whether we are feminine, neat, clean and modest.
If we are wearing tight, revealing clothing or men's clothing what type of message does that send to the public about who we are?
I think about this a great deal at work. We have a business casual code Monday - Thursday, casual on Fridays. Many of the secretaries do not have a concept of what is appropriate and what is not. Most of them are older than I am.
I am also sometimes shocked by what, ladies in particular, wear to church services. Our pastor has been quick to address the situations as they arise, but I am stunned sometimes.
I will never forget going to a huge church gathering (over 2,000 people in attendance) and a grown woman in her 40's was wearing a white lace shirt with a lavender bra underneath it. She was even wearing purple jewelry to match her bra!!!! I almost fell out of my seat!
Leigh
I couldn't agree more! I know most of us are guilty of being slobs once in a while, but all the time?
I admit I get shocked at the way it is okay to go out in pretty much your pajamas, or clothes that look like pajamas. The grunge look is okay, showing your underwear if you even wear any is okay!
Even on my sloppiest day, I would never dream of going out without my hair done....
But I think you too have to be careful by judging people by their appearance. I had the sad experience of when I was truly very, very poor and a kind woman handmade me 5 dresses. We lived in a place with horrible red clay and every one of my clothes got stained from it, so even though they were clean, it was a struggle to look clean, even whent he clothes were clean. I was so thankful for those new dresses. They were not fancy, they were homemade and cotton. I wore one to church in a city though and from christians got some of the worst comments you can imagine. Did anyone ask me if I had anything else to wear? No! No, they simply made fun of me and asked things in an unkind way or talked about me behind my back.
I know most people in america have resources to get new clothes, but at this point in my life, I did not have a car, any money, and lived without electricity so no way to sew really.
Simple may be the best someone may have!
I'd like to answer Kimberly Eddy on one question :) The problem with preg ladies' bellies hanging out is that if you look around, there are no ready-to-wear bottoms with the older maternity panels, it's all just the low elastic waist. I assume this is so that preg ladies are allowed the same fashion trends??? But in my last preg, I was very very frustrated with that. I found a couple items at thrift/consignment stores, but little else without a hanging belly! I hated it. I can and did sew some things for myself..but not everyone can. Anyway..it's not always as it appears:)
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