We've forgotten what motherhood means
Culturally, the culpability in this case is much worse than this young gal's memory lapse. As a culture, we've done much worse than simply forgetting what motherhood means. We've willfully abandoned the concept.
The ideal - which rarely gets mentioned these days - is that in the best interest of the child, a mother shouldn't be preoccupied with work and finances; she should be preoccupied with her newborn.
Instead, we've embraced the lies out-of-touch feminists tell - the notion that women can have it both ways. They can have a career and a baby, and do both with equal competence.
And then there is the pressure society places on these young gals, which leads them to feel "kept" by a man if they decide they'd much rather stay home. And what about the governments, with the high taxes and a lack of respect for the basic institution of the family, what culpability lies with them? They have all but forced both parents into the workforce just so they can afford the basics of "the good life."
And then there is our degrading of children. We've cheapened their value. In the worst case, children have become a "burden to be avoided at all costs." And in the best of the worst-case scenarios, children are simply an add-on commodity. As long as they fit into our lifestyle and our career, they're a nice thing to have around. They make us feel "complete." Provided, of course, we have others to look after them.
It is this kind of cultural attitude that fuels our maniacal treatment of children, evidenced in everything from abortion on demand to the ineptitude of a career woman - or man for that matter - whose priorities have become so twisted that they can absentmindedly forget a child in the back seat of a car.
But when you really think about it, this bizarre phenomenon that is occurring with too much frequency - the trend toward forgetting little children, either in cars or in life - isn't that hard to understand. Because when motherhood is poorly regarded, children have no greater value than the commodities that adorn our cars. Should we really be surprised when someone forgets them in the back seat for the day?
posted by Crystal Paine at 8:00 AM
36 Comments:
I can only imagine the agony that young mother must be in. I agree with the columnist of the refernced article that as a society we have totally diminished motherhood, even parenthood to nothing more than a matter of biology. There is nothing government can do to amke this better. They've "helped" enough already.
I read the original article and I think overall it is a good article but something that many people seem to forget is that a lot of mothers simply DO NOT have a choice. They have to work, whether it be to make ends meet, or bc they are the only one with a job with insurance, or their husband is injured or not even in the picture.
That is the thing that gets to me about this topic - sometimes there is a premise like there is a choice, which there is not always. I do know mothers with young kids who want to work, but the majority of them that I know and 'meet' online say they would LOVE to be home with their kids. Truly, the society we live in is almost set up to require a two income family just for basics like a simple house, food, insurance, one or no car. Not every scenario where the mother works is so that they can be in a McMansion and have a brand new Escalade and wear designer clothing.
At the same time, I think it is a lack of education. I think if more people had access or knew about websites like this one - where you can learn about how to be more frugal and do more with less by choice (or necessity) then people could do more. But a lot of people don't know how and therefore end up in a lifestyle where truly both are required to work.
I know for us, for me to be able to stay home we definetly made some trades - we live in a 1100 sq foot, 2 BR home that is really really nice but very small in a lot of ways. when I did work every penny practically went straight to savings and we have always lived frugally. So there are ways that a mother can be at home, but I honestly think people lack knowledge about how to make that happen AND I think there are extinuating (sp?) circumstances where sometimes they truly cannot. Thoughts?
So no stay-at-home mother ever made a mistake of fatal inattention? Working fathers shouldn't ever take on the task of transporting a child lest they be too distracted by work matters to do the job properly?
It seems that this article is drawing far too many inapt conclusions from one isolated (and undoubtedly terrible) incident.
For example, our culture seems much more concerned with child safety than when I was growing up. In my '70s community, all the moms stayed at home, but we kids ran around unsupervised, didn't wear bike helmets, didn't ride in child safety seats, and regularly inhaled the smoke from the cigarettes our parents were puffing. I am not sure that the less-sheltered child raising habits of the past were such a terrible thing I cannot say that the working couples I know value their children any less.
-- Happy Feminist
Crystal,
I cannot even read those types of stories anymore. As a bereaved parent, it pains me to think this happens to little ones so frequently these days. I struggle very much to hear such things as well as to see or hear of any parent who does not properly care for their children. To me, it is just not fair at all. Although I don't want to stand in judgment towards these parents, it is hard to understand how you can forget your baby or child. It's not something I can personally comprehend. To give some credit, if you initially forgot, wouldn't you remember prayerfully within a short time frame? And not hours later? I am sure the lifetime of pain with losing a child will only be compounded by the guilt of one's actions. It's all too sad.
I completely agree, Anonymous, that there are many people who do not think it is possible to live on one income because they don't know *how*. I also agree that there are circumstances where a woman must work due to past unwise financial decisions which have landed a couple into dire straits, or in the case of a single mother (God bless all of you single moms - I have no clue how you do it!), or when a husband wants a wife to work.
In most circumstances, I believe that if a couple is willing to make sacrifices, be creative and think outside the box, they can come up with a way for mom to be home. And that's one thing I hope to encourage on this blog. Not just to say that I think it is best when a mom stays home with her children, but to also give lots of practical helps to show you how you can live on one income.
I found this article through LAF a couple of days ago. What a tragedy! My heart aches both for this poor woman, who will be living in feelings of deepest shame and guilt for the rest of her life, and all of our society with its crazy-paced, hectic lifestyle which makes us forget everything that really matters: our family, our children, our home, our spiritual life.
Crystal, it's anonymous - mean to sign my name- I think you do a GREAT job of putting practical, easy to apply tips on this websiste of things everyone can implement to live more frugally and ultimately have more freedom for things like Mom to be home or just not being in debt. Though I dont agree with you on a lot of things, I have learned an immense amount on here and am very grateful. I probably should have signed up for your internet course coming up but we have dial up (probably one area we need to be willing to spend some more) and I dont think I could have taken it with that could I?
Grace from TN
I have also read stories of the dad being the one that forgets the kid in the car...I think all the stories are kids that are supposed to be dropped off at daycare...
Recently in St. Louis it was a daycare worker that left a child in the car on a field trip...child did not die, but they were thinking of pressing charges against her.
Ever since I had kids - my memory has not been like it once was - I have to leave myself notes to remind of certain things - and I know my life is a lot easier than some...just hard to imagine forgetting something major like that you have a baby in the backseat...and not only forgetting for 10 or 15 min - but for an entire day. Does nothing prompt you throughout the day to think of your child and then think "hmmm I don't recall stopping at ABC childcare today."
I cannot imagine much worse for the mom and dad to realize how they killed their child...it is sad...but again - how can you forget?
And you know - personally as a stay at home mom that lives frugally - I am tired of hearing of all the working moms that would like to stay home if they had a choice. B/c really - I've known families with more than one child that have lived on one income and that not a high income.
To be honest - FOR THE MOST PART - it is a trade off. Maybe you think your children need piano lessons, hockey lessons, each child with their own bedroom, 100,000 plus huge house, private school... and that is your choice to see those things as NEEDS instead of extras.
But some of us do sacrifice...some of us live frugally in order to stay at home...and that is our choice.
Everyone does what they think is best...
There are days when I would LOVE to be working outside the house fulltime or parttime...
We are 13 and 12 years old twins and we think that moms should stay home with their kids so that they can interact with them, and be an example to them. We feel like we can talk to our mom about anything because she is always there for us.
Mom says: The girls were reading along with me and decided they wanted to comment. As for me, I agree that most people don't realize that with a little financial education and discipline, it is possible for a two parent family to live on one income.
I read the original article and agree. But one simple suggestion I have yet to hear made in these situations, which occur all too frequently - I think you posted about another one last year, is for mothers to look for a daycare with a policy of phoning you should you fail to deliver child at expected time.
Perhaps some would consider that invasive, but for safety's sake it could be a real life-saver.
For a number of years I was a single mom, working and going to school. I am quite confident that the best day-care situations would have called me, at work or at home, had I been a half hour late.
I have not read the article in full so i may be quoting to early... BUT, I feel bad for the mother, what a horror! I am all for staying home 100% but I find it sad that christians would "blame" her for this because she is a working mom. I cannot imagine what she is going through. She doesn't understand what being is a mother as we do, i say we should step aside and extend her some grace as Jesus would. This could be a time to lead her to Christ rather than pick her apaprt...I am sure this was a mistake...
(i will read article in full this evening...)So, if i overstepped its because I just feel i got the meaning of the article... maybe I am wrong...
My heart aches for this mother. I too, can't comprehend how one could forget their child. I have mine with me all the time. It would be like forgetting my leg or arm in the car! I said something like that to my husband who pointed out that he could understand if it were out of her normal routine to drop the baby off. We are creatures of habit. And, as I once worked in an office prior to having kids, I know how busy you can get and forget everything else! I am not justifying what happend. But it was an accident. We all, SAHM's included, make mistakes. Sometimes tragic ones. Undoubtly, this mother will never ever forget or forgive herself. We should be praying for her.
Having said all that, I agree with the article in the fact that society as a whole has diminished motherhood and the blessing children are in our lives. We should take great pain and sacrifice to do what we can to be the ones to raise them.
Homemakerang: Just to clarify, the article was not written in condemnation of this mom. I think all of us moms know that we have done very brainless things before and we've all made mistakes. I'm constantly praying for protection for my children! And my heart aches for this mom and I'm not condemning her here. She could be a single mom who is barely making ends meet and has a ton of stress on her shoulders. Only God knows the situation.
And Rebecca, I think that your idea is a very good one. Though I'm not a supporter of the daycare system, I do think that we need to do something so that this sort of thing doesn't happen again.
My husband and I were discussing this and I was saying how I think if you get used to not having your child around, it would be easier to forget about them. For me, my children are pretty much always with me so if they aren't with me, it feels like something is missing.
Anon. #2,
I'd like to address your thoughts.
When I was first a homemaker we lived on $17K per year, and we were able to buy a home on that income (the home was a fixer-upper & low-cost) & this was in California.
I'd like to know how many of your friends or online acquaintances choose to either: live in an expensive area, have more than one car, eat fast food or lots of convenience food, go shopping for a hobby, have vices like smoking, drinking. How about cell phones, cable, trendy new clothing, lots of trips to Wal-Mart, Target, craft supplies, new items for decorating etc. etc. etc. I have read on many a message board (even frugal living boards) how people are not willing to give up their "treats" or things like cable, cell phones, etc. I get tired of hearing about how many people cannot stay home. The priorities of many are askew.
If people want something BADLY enough, they will do whatever it takes "legally" to make it work. God will surely bless their efforts. I have heard of even single moms having a business from their home so they can be with their children more. If one really wants to be a homemaker, they can live on beans and rice or other low-cost but nutritious foods (more meat is a prescription for a heart attack anyway). Dinner today for us is a big pot of homemade chicken and rice soup (very inexpensive). If you are home, you can even spend a few dollars to grow some lettuce, tomatoes, etc. in pots (very easy and helps the budget). There are many other ways to live very frugally - the sacrifices are small compared to the blessings received in return.
I bet you that most of these people that you speak of are NOT willing to do such things. That's the problem in a nutshell. They complain but they really don't want it that badly.
I now live in another state in another very modest home (900 sq. ft.). My husband and I have gotten our bills down to the minimum - because he wants me to be home and so do I. I have chronic illness and receive no payment to be home. We do it all on one "very modest" income. And my husband sacrifices by working overtime when it's available. God is blessing our efforts - we hope to be debt-free by next year. It's possible!
We don't have cable, I have a prepaid cell phone for emergencies due to health, I shop CVS and the deals (per Crystal's wisdom) and alone this week I received over $60 of free stuff from CVS and a $20 free gift card for transferring my prescription. That's $80 earned tax-free. I keep working to get my grocery bills lower - on average we spend $50/week. I use coupons, don't shop for the fun of it, we don't go on vacations. There are not many extras & things are tight right now.
But, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I am truly blessed to have my own schedule and not be ruled by someone else in the ever-backstabbing business world that I previously experienced as a single.
I am sensitive to the plight of those who truly cannot be home, but I really think that number is WAY lower than what most people believe or even want to believe.
I think we need to be careful not to judge too quickly. This is an awful thing that happens way too frequently, and I don't agree with how many moms are working today, but I feel for the pressures they are under trying to do way too much and still hold it all together. I know that when I'm stressed as a stay at home mom, I can be very forgetful and I don't want to ever assume I would never...
Just my thoughts...
Kitten
I was so affected by this article that I also posted about it on my blog as well. Couldn't help myself! Who knows the circumstances surrounding this incidence. It is a shame that there are mothers out there who have to work and put their children into daycare. I have been in that situation as a young mom, thankfully only for a very short while. It is just so commonplace that a women works nowadays. Some women can handle the pressures, and some cannot. I think if society as a whole valued motherhood, women would find themselves more likely to accept the role. Instead society puts value on education and career. As I said on my blog, I just pray that women catch a vision for the commands in Titus 2: 4-5 and make it a priority to try to mentor young women. It may very well be they have never heard anything other than what society tells them and we could make the difference. It isn't the state that can make a difference, it is you and I!
Stephanie
Women have far too much on them today and far too little help, quite frankly! In most cases. They are supposed to be everything to everybody...and being a mommy sometimes takes just about all the time and effort one body has! Even when I was raising my children, sometimes it was ALL I could do just to take care of them. And the few times I worked part time, did NOT go well for them. You who are managing to stay at home totally are to be commended because we live in VERY hard times economically and no matter how much your husband makes, it is likely to be tight!
Praying for this poor mother. I can't imagine trying to sleep, eat or live after this happened. She'll never be the same. We should all pray for her...
I certainly don't think anyone here is trying to stand in judgment for what happened. It is just hard to understand, that's all that one could not think of their child the entire 8 hours they are at work?
The end result though is that things have to change in our society so that these tragedies don't continue to happen. However, one cannot wait for society to change, they have to personally do what they can to make a difference in their own life.
I do think it's interesting that none of the stories I have heard have been of a stay-at-home parent forgetting their child.
Although this is not a SAHM/WAHM debate, it is apparent that this can make a huge difference in a family's life and way of living. Sites like Crystal's and examples of people who are home and make it work even on tight budgets show that it's possible - sometimes it is stepping out on a lot of faith, but it is still possible. And maybe in the end it might save a few more children's lives too.
This is heartbreaking. As a soon to be new mom (he's getting close to being overdue!), I can only share in this young woman's grief, the agony she must have felt. I say this not as a mom, but as one of those new moms that almost had to go back to work after 6 weeks.
Many commenters have mentioned "Well, what about trips to Walmart, eating out, standard of living, yada yada yada." In my opinion, that is a poor argument to use against moms that HAVE to work. And when I say HAVE to work, I mean this: we owe more in student loans than some people's husbands make in two years.I certainly don't expect sympathy - This was a choice my husband and I had to make - either no college, and dismal job prospects where we live, or masters' degrees, and good jobs with good benefits (insurance is most important!).
Thankfully, I have found a job that enables me to work a few short evenings a week, while my husband is home with the little guy. While I am certainly blessed to have this opportunity, I understand not all moms CAN stay home. Arguing that women need to learn to be more frugal is unfair as well - some folks have a 'standard' that they're comfortable in, and that is it. Judging someone because they can't be comfortable with what you are is violently unfair.
If you ask me, the news article was nothing more than poorly written propaganda, and I tend to agree with a lot of what is discussed on this blog - however, this isn't one of those topics.
*sigh* Maybe it is the heat and being really pregnant...perhaps cutting working moms some slack is in order. And, as other posters pointed out - if we don't expect Dad to make a mistake (I was forgotten at schol more than once when Dad was supposed to pick me up), care workers, and even Grandma or Grandpa to make a mistake, then we've all got another thing coming...
Andrea - Being almost ten months pregnant in this extreme heat has got to be hard! I promise it will be worth it once those little eyes look into your face and smile at you... at least it was for me with my fairly difficult pregnancy this time around. Once Kaitlynn looked up and smiled at me for the first time, I knew I'd go through all of that again in a heartbeat.
Anyway, be sure to read my follow-up comments if you haven't already. :) I think I touched on some of what you mentioned.
I think families like yours are a great testament to the fact that when there's a will, there's usually a way, even if you have astronomical debt. You didn't want to put your precious little newborn into daycare full-time so you've prayed and worked hard to find a way not to have to do so.
Very good article. This reminds me of a Little Golden Book my mom used to read to me when I was little. It's called "Baby Dear" (I think they retitled it "The New Baby") and it's all about a mother taking care of her newborn and the big sister taking care of her baby doll, imitating her mother. The whole day is wrapped up in taking care of the baby and the house, and it's happy and sweet and natural. Whatever happened to those days... I'm glad they're being rediscovered by mothers like you!
I do agree, though, with others who said that not every mother has the ideal situation that enables her to stay at home and work. Still, I think the point can be made that many, many families could make that choice and don't.
Yes, it's definitely (for most) all about choices. To me I think Crystal and Jesse are wonderful examples of him being able to go to law school without debt while she was able to be home at the same time (a great testimony) - showing that even that is possible, when few believe it is.
And Andrea, I am sorry you seem to be offended by what I shared, but I cannot take back my words. I do not believe what I shared to be a poor argument at all. Cutting back on expenses can MAKE or BREAK the difference of not having to work at all. Trips to Wal-Mart, cutting unnecessary items like cable, entertainment, etc. can make a HUGE difference. If that were not true, I would not be able to be at home - and here I have been for 16 years because of those beliefs & practicing them.
All I am doing is trying to help others see that being home can be a reality for them too, even on a tight budget. I just wish that people who keep coming up with reasons why they can't be home could see that - instead of seeing it as an attack on their lifestyle. I am just a beggar with crumbs trying to share my crumbs with others so in return they can have the same joy and peace too. I have worked full-time before (when single) and tried to keep up with things and know the difficulty and lack of peace that can bring & I will do everything in my power so I never have to go back to that.
I may not have the most lavish home, or furnishings or material things; my husband does not have a while-collar job & our savings account isn't doing as well as I'd like. But I have a great peace & joy in my heart, because I have learned that "things" will never make me truly happy. I have everything in life that I need, and I always remember compared to people in other countries how blessed I am and how blessed we all are in general. Material things are not a "right" - they are blessings, and sometimes I think a curse as well - because they keep people from seeing the real picture, and what is really important.
I feel for this mom. We all have moments that could have gone either way--I once found a toddler holding onto the back bumper of my car when I felt prompted to doublecheck before I pulled out of my driveway and a month ago I found a 2 year old wandering in a busy McDonald's parking lot (his Mom was inside and had no idea that he had gotten out the door). One of my own sons dashed behind a moving car and the other pulled a heavy hotel room dresser over and was almost crushed by a falling television. We all need to look out for each other, because anyone of us could have a slip of attention or an unlucky moment. Miss Kris
"This reminds me of a Little Golden Book my mom used to read to me when I was little. It's called "Baby Dear" (I think they retitled it "The New Baby") and it's all about a mother taking care of her newborn and the big sister taking care of her baby doll, imitating her mother."
Tying this in with yesterday's post and discussion thread on reading to children, this is another wonderful Eloise Wilkin book. The illustrations are *so* charming, and books like this and WE HELP MOMMY/WE HELP DADDY are a delightful "tool" to help instill positive feelings about caring for home and family.
Best wishes,
Laura
I didn't have a chance to read the original article or all of the comments, but there was an episode of CSI (I think) a few years ago where the parents forgot the baby in the car and the baby died. The episode ended with them having done it on purpose, but I remember thinking then, that surely no one would actually forget their baby in the car. I admittedly always worried I would, but I never DID.
You know, I have a terrible short term memory, but I can't imagine forgetting that I *had* a child, and leaving a *baby* in a car which essentially becomes an oven, for many, many hours.
I can see momentarily forgetting I have three, miscounting, and then in a panick correcting that mistake immediately, but I simply cannot comprehend spending an entire day at work having forgotten the existence of my tiny infant. How do you go an entire day without a thought towards your baby? I feel the same way about the dads who have done this. And I wonder why nobody at the daycares bothered to call and see why little Bobby or Sarah didn't show up that day. All around, nobody thought enough about the babies, and they lost out.
It just kills me that recommendations to avoid tragedies like this run along the lines of "leave your cell phone or briefcase in the backseat by the baby, because you certainly won't forget those important things!" Why not "Cut your lifestyle, skip the daycare payments, and parent your own child"?
So call me judgemental. I guess I am just not mature enough to work up a lot of sympathy at this point. Right now, these stories just make me see red.
To add to my comment for clarity--I totally understand that I am vulnerable to making mistakes, and that a moment's inattention could change my life in a very profound way.
These stories are different, though, because they involve many hours worth of innatention by all caregivers involved. There is a difference between momentary forgetfulness, or momentary distraction, and getting on with one's busybusybusy life without remembering one's own child once.
Hmmm, I personally think that the conclusion the author makes is quite a stretch. My heart aches for this mother. I'm a SAHM, but I lost our child one day in a department store. Thankully, he was found quickly and was unharmed. But I'm not naive enough to believe that it couldn't have been me in an article online, talking about my abducted child. It served as a rebuke to me to not judge others. Just something to ponder...
It all comes down to responsibility. I'm sure if the woman was a 32 year old vice president for a large corporation she wouldn't be treated with such sympathy. And child-care classes? You don't need a class to teach you to not forget about your child! I don't feel any sympathy for her at all. There are many, many single women who work one, two or three jobs that are just making enough to pay the bills and you don't here of them forgetting their children. This country has too many excuses. The babies need mothers - working or not - that will fulfill their needs. If a person can't fulfill the needs than they should do the selfless and kind thing and give the child up to parents who will.
I know this sounds cold but I have heard this song-and-dance too many times!
Call me perfect, but I don't understand how anyone can forget about their children. My children are on my mind morning, noon, and night. I eat, sleep, and breathe my children. I think about them like I thought about my studies when I was in college. I never forgot when my exam day was, how could I forget about my children?
There is something very wrong when someone forgets their baby in the car. Something is very wrong! Blame it on society or the homelife. It is not excusable to forget that you left your baby in the car.
I feel very sorry for this mom, but whether it is the dad or the mom, this is happening too much. Dads shouldn't be forgetting their children, either! It isn't like she had a bunch of kids and left one home like in "Home Alone." She forgot her baby in the car!? What?
Maybe I am just paranoid because I watch my kids and other people's kids like a hawk. When the cousins come over, I am always counting and re-counting heads.
I undestand and sympathize that people have to work, but your children come before your job. Period. If you are thinking about your job more than you children, there is a problem. Priorities are way out of wack.
-Zan
In reading this story, and stories like it, all I can think is that there must be more to this than just being busy and exhausted. Things that come to mind are depression, mental illness of some sort, etc. I can think of no other explanation for forgetting a child for that long. I do not think this is a working mom issue. This is a case of a mom who must have had major issues that we do not know about. It breaks my heart to think of what that baby went through.
I also agree that stories like this should be a wake up call for all of us. Sure, very few of us have done things as serious as that, but I know most moms have had momentary slips that could have ended in disaster. We must all be vigilant. I have certainly made mistakes that by the grace of God did not result in disaster.
My heart aches for this baby and the family.
I'm still trying to understand why there is so much more empathy for someone leaving their child in a baking car for an ENTIRE work shift.
Making a parental mistake that lasts a few seconds cannot really be compared to forgetting your child for 8-10 hours, can it? What good parent does not think of their kid at least many times in a day?
I was just speaking to my husband of this subject yesterday. I mentioned the same concern - how do we know none of these parents did this on purpose? We can't say it's not possible - as I believe it is. It certainly would be a way to do it that would gain peoples' sympathy. People are not so empathetic towards a parent that openly abuses their child by apparent neglect (and rightly so).
In these circumstances, my empathy goes towards the children, they are the true victims here.
Re: working outside the home. I became a single mom when my daughter was 10. Did I want to go back to work...NO...my husband came back from Vietnam a drug addicted, memtally ill man. After much prayer and counseling it became clear that the Lord did not want my daughter and I to live in danger. I was blessed with a good job, close to home and her school. I never missed any activity at school or church/ Often times I drove car pool while 2 parent families were too busy with their "grown-up activities to be bothered. She accepted the Lord at a young age and is a wonderful mom to my two precious grandchildren. I did the best I could with God's help to be a Godly mom and to set an example to her that I would protect her and with God's help and my commitment to Him, He would guide us. Please don't be too eager to decide the "shoulds and shouldn'ts" of other people....you may not know everything that is going on behind closed doors. God Bless, Pam from South Bend
I fully agree with the comment by Mrs. I. The real victim in the story is the baby, not the woman. Whether you work or not, it doesn't matter. A normal mother doesn't forget her baby in the car for 8 hours!!!! I hope she will be charged with criminal neglect. Many commenters expressed sympathy with her having terrible time. You know who got worse time that day? The innocent baby dying a slow painful death in the car. I wouldn't trust my cat to somebody like her.
I suppose tht this very circumstance has happened a few times, because I recall hearing a similar story such as this before my daughter was born. And boy, did I pass judgement on that mother. How could you possibly forget your child?!?!
And now, I know - after getting through the fist 9 months of my daughter's life where she awokened every 2.5 hours through the night to nurse without fail, I know the great lapses in judgement that I committed. I had quite literally lost my mind from sleep deprivation. But, I had the luxury to call my employer and tell them that I was not capable or returning to work.
So, it is hard, but children are God's greatest gift, and are not ours, but His. And we need to care for His gift to us in a way that benefits them.
And we need to remember the tender state of a mother after her baby is born can last for quite a long time, depending on her child's temperment.
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