The Proverbs 31 woman and entrepreneurialism
I just finished reading a long and thought-provoking article: The Proverbs 31 Woman as An Entrepreneur (Hat-tip to LAF). Though I didn't agree with everything in it and thought the method of presentation could have been improved upon, I think there were some interesting points made in it - points I rarely hear made elsewhere.One of my greatest desires in having this website to encourage women to turn their hearts toward home and embrace true Biblical womanhood by seeking to glorify the Lord through being help meets to their husbands, nurturers of their children, and strong, vibrant, feminine, Godly women who show the world a beautiful picture of the Bride of Christ.
I believe with all my heart that turning one's heart towards home is not about being chained to the kitchen sink or about being repressed and stifled. No! Never! As I've said many times in the past, recapturing the nobility of home is about so much more than changing diapers and cleaning toilets, but about using the gifts and abilities God has given you in a God-glorifying way. There is so much potential for a woman of God as she seeks to make her home the center of outreach, of ministry, of evangelism, of entreprenuerialism!
My point in posting this article is not because I think every woman should have a business or that you shouldn't bake bread. I happen to disagree with the author of the article on the bread-baking thing - I make my dough in the bread machine and it takes me about five minutes to put together, is much less expensive than store bought bread, much better for our family, and, well, just plain delicious. (Recipe is here, by the way!)
I do think we as wives and mothers need to be thinking in terms of return on investment (or ROI, as it's known in the business world). To make up a hypothetical example with baking bread, let's say I had the option of spending two hours each week making bread during my girls' naptime or I had the option of buying the same homemade bread from someone else for a few dollars. Which option would be a better return on my investment? If my goal in spending two hours to bake the bread was purely to save money, I'd invariably choose to buy the bread and invest the two hours into something more productive for my time involved instead. Why? Because spending two hours on something I could easily buy for $3 just in the name of trying to save money is not worth it to me. Now if I were spending two hours having a wonderful time baking with my girls in the kitchen as opposed to baking the bread during their naptime, that would be a different kind of return on investment - investing in the future of my daughters which is something much more worthwhile than any two hours of work spent doing practically anything else!
In addition to evaluating things in light of ROI as homemakers, I believe we also need to be seeking to actively contribute to our family. Whether this is through thrift or through something entrepreneurial or both, our goal as wives should be to stretch our husband's hard-earned dollars as far as possible (always thinking in terms of ROI, though!) and to also, when possible, creatively add to the income.
That's what I think, though. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.
Ladies Against Feminism posted the article with this note:
This is a very interesting and thought-provoking article. We have often pointed out that Proverbs 31 is not about being Martha Stewart look-a-likes; it's really about the power of a woman who is committed to helping her husband in practical, economic ways. Sometimes this is simply through the wise management and use of the husband's income, but it can be so much more. While some of what Pastor Abshire writes might rub you the wrong way at first, I'd encourage you to stop and think about his application of Proverbs 31. It will spur a lot of thought!What do you think? Read the article, if you have time, and come back here to share your thoughts. You are more than free to disagree with me or Pastor Abshire so long as you do it in a respectful manner. We're glad to have some lively discussion here every now and then, but throwing rotten tomatoes is not allowed. :)
EDIT: Even if you don't get a chance to read or skim the article, please be sure to read all of the follow-up comments and discussion to this article. There is some really great stuff there to mull over! Also, Anna S wrote a great post on it here, too. I think she is very wise to bring up how a woman can neglect her family in the process of seeking to have a home business. That is so true and that is one reason I bring up the ROI principle - there's so much more than money we need to be thinking about when we think about a return on our investment of time and resources. We need to be evaluating all of our life through the lens of what will matter in ten years from now and in Eternity. Bring thrifty, frugal, and entrepreneurial can be a great thing, but, like I always say, when they are at the expense of your family, they aren't a good thing. If you can't already balance what you have on your plate, adding something else is the last thing you need to be doing!
Graphic from Art.com
posted by Crystal Paine at 10:18 AM
54 Comments:
Unfortunately I lost a bit of interest in reading this article with the general "tone" I felt as I read it. I didn't finish it.
Although I don't oppose the fact that women can work from home to assist their husband's income as it can be helpful, I still think there should be caution as any job, at home or out of the home, can take away from priorities if not careful. I think some find it hard to keep that balance and may not be so disciplined.
Personally, I don't have the time or energy to take on an additional job of any type. I am finding that caring for my home and husband is full enough for this season of my life. I do, however, do what I can frugally to stretch the dollars. Not shopping and staying out of the stores is a huge help - being content with what I have makes my husband's pay go even further. That is my job right now - homemaker/homekeeper/contented frugal assistant!
Crystal,
In many ways, I found this article interesting, and I do believe that the wife (or daughter, like I am now) should learn creative ways to stretch the family budget.
At this season of my life, I have time to work from home. I tutor children, and take on translating jobs. I have been doing this for five years. I also had, at a time, several jobs outside the home, so I learned this one thing: working from home offers flexibility, but it can be very demanding and time consuming as well.
To those who can incorporate it into their lives, great. Those who don't shouldn't feel guilty. When (God willing!) I become a wife, I'm not sure at all I will have time for those additional pursuits, and I'm ready to drop them without hesitation. I will do that - considering my husband's wishes of course, if I feel they are taking too big a toll on my duties at home, OR on the outlook of our family life. If it makes us rush through our days without a moment to breathe, it isn't worth it.
I do agree with the cost-effectiveness argument. If a certain activity (baking bread etc) only saves me pennies, it will only be done when I have leisure time, not more pressing household duties.
Anyhow, being frugal is something every wife/mother/daughter should practice. And this, too, takes time, but not as much once you become more organized. Your blog taught me a great deal about it. Thank you for all the wonderfully useful ideas you share with us on a daily basis.
I read the whole thing, but it was a beating to get through. Besides his extreme verbosity and gross misuse of quotations marks, I was irritated by the condescending tone the article took on. His example of a woman who spends time gardening was painful to read because he seemed to take on a pat-the-silly-little-woman-on-the-head-because-she-actually-thinks-she's-doing-something-important attitude. He implied that a woman who gardens to supplement her family's groceries is wasting time on a hobby, and she should be doing greater things to actually make money, rather than simply working to stretch the money she already has.
Each family is different, and I don't believe that all wives must be entrepreneurs to be good and godly. He seems to imply that too many women are wasting their time on what he deems to be nothing more than hobbies. Perhaps it would be more helpful for certain families to have wives who try to earn extra income, but it's not necessary for all families. I tend to dismiss anyone who takes on a stance that he or she knows what's best for all people in all circumstances.
Even more offensive is his implication that it is a waste of time and money for a woman to get a higher education, and that she needs her husband's help in order to discover her talents. That's not to say that husbands and their help are not important or valid, but it seems to say that we're too dumb to know what we're good at without a man's assistance in discovery. But since he lost me early on with his patronizing tone, I may be reading too much into his words.
His overall message was not really a bad one. I think he makes some very valid points, but because he takes on a tone of condescension, it's hard to take him seriously.
I thought his article brought up a few good points. Like women using the talents that they were given and that not all women can or should have a home business. But he sort of put down women that look for ways to save money rather than work in an at-home business.
The article that I had the biggest problem with was "Wife Abuse". I also felt some of the comments to the article were just out right degrading to women. Abuse against women in Christianity IS common! Wether it is was physical, sexual, or emotional. I felt the tone of that article was insulting and minimized the problem of abuse against women. He really turned it around and in a passive aggressive way blamed women and, towards the end, more or less turned it into an article about abortion and child abuse. I felt sick after reading it.
I struggled through reading the article and didn't care for the author's approach and condescending tone. Yes, I agree there are some women who could be legalistic and think that you HAVE to make your own bread, grind wheat, or whatever to truly be a good wife and mother, and of course that kind of an attitude needs to guarded against.
However, many women genuinely enjoy pursuing "the lost arts" so to speak and are able to incorporate them into daily life with great skill and at the same time involve their children, thus building rich memories, a good work ethic, and helpful spirit. I think rather than focusing on the individual undertakings listed that the Proverbs 31 did and trying to tackle all of them, it would be far better to look at the deeper message of that passage..namely serving God and family with a contended, joyful heart and being a good steward of what we are given.
While I am all for women having home businesses if that is what the husband and wife feel called to do, I think often times the most effictive way to help the household budget is to figure out ways to spend less, not make more.
As a young mom, and as a mom that has decided to leave the work force to raise my children, I found this article very thought provoking. As I have struggled to find my place, my role as a wife in today's times I have asked myself several questions that he addressed. What does a Godly mother look like in this day and age?
I appreciated his views and although I didn't necessarily agree with everything he mentioned It gave me something to think about.
Crystal, I didn't read the entire article, but I agree with the others' suggestions that there are different stages of life and different seasons of need. For example, my mom has done gardening, bread-baking, and sewing for many years, just for our family and to share with others. It was never a business, and she never needed to provide a supplemental income for us. She did it to be industrious, and to provide good things for us to eat and wear, like the Proverbs 31 woman did.
I think that we as women should do what is needed, whether it is working/volunteering because we love doing it, or making an income if that would be helpful to our families.
My dad wanted to me to have skills that I could earn money from if necessary, which I believe is prudent. I appreciate the ideas you have published in your book Merchant Maiden--ideas for helping others as well as home businesses. I am glad there are ways for keepers at home to have home businesses, when it is prudent.
I think that I sensed the same "tone" that Lyn mentioned in her comment. The tone that said, "All this research takes TIME- time that could be spent working in the garden, making your own clothes or vegetating in front of the TV.", as if gardening (taking dominion of your little piece of earth) was even remotely comparable to vegetating in front of the TV. Never the less I endured to the end and came to the conclusion that he came to his view by making some sweeping assumptions.
In no particular order:
He's assuming that the economy will always be what it is now. There is a very good chance that somewhere down the line we or our children, or our great-great grandchildren even, will need to know such skills as raising organic food or making their own clothes and bread. How much better for our descendants if a couple of generations or so from now when they are in need of some of these basic skills they can rest in knowing that they can be somewhat self-sufficient while helping others who are struggling, trying to figure it all out from the ground up. Even today it would cost a fortune to dress our oldest daughter to our standards if we bought all of her clothing ready made.
He seems to be assuming that the Proverbs 31 woman had an overarching income producing mindset. I don't see anywhere that she sold anything from her vineyard. Perhaps if there was a surplus her first thought was to share it with the needy. She makes linen garments and sashes but nowhere does it imply that she put herself under contract to supply so many in a certain amount of time, they could have very well have been done in moments that would otherwise have been spent in idleness and once she had a decent stockpile she delivered them to the merchants, much like the early American women did with their eggs and butter. And lets not forget that she had servants, she didn't do *everything* herself. I'm not implying that she didn't make the sashes herself, just that she didn't do *everything*.
He makes the assumption that there is nothing more earned in making your own clothes and baking your own bread than an article of clothing and a loaf of bread. I have only recently learned how to sew and the look on my daughters face was priceless when I handed her a nightgown I had made with my own hands. When she wears it she remembers the time and effort that went into it, it's like a special hug from mother every time she puts it on. My girls love the experience of making bread (which we usually do in the bread maker, though not exclusively), we are building relationships as well as practical skills every time we make a batch. I also believe that there is more to gardening than just puttering around in the dirt for pure enjoyment. My husband and I believe that the dominion mandate is still in effect and that we are to take dominion over the earth, especially the plot of earth that we call our own. Some may see that as the occasional mow and weeding and others see that as making their little piece of earth actually produce for them.
My husband has decided that he does not want me to be focusing on anything other than being a wife and mother right now. In the New Testament the emphasis is put on being a loving wife and mother and in guiding the home and serving the saints, being income producing is never even mentioned. So, while I don't think there is anything wrong with a wife and mother running a home business if she can keep her priorities straight, I also don't see that it deserves the emphasis that he is putting on it.
I am troubled that he felt he had to put down others to make his point. He could have just as easily made the point that we can always be on the lookout to stretch and grow our husbands income without appearing to look down on us "bread-bakers" as overly pious time-wasters ;).
I did not read the whole article but got through quite a bit of it. I did not like the general tone of the article. I fully disagree that woman who bake from scratch, garden etc are not saving their families any money.
I do fully agree that today's stay at home mom is not yesterdays stay at home mom. The majority of mom's in past centuries have worked alongside their husband while managing their household at the same time. I am a full time working mom. This is the situation we are in and it will not be changing for some time. I have been looked down upon by many moms I come across because I work outside the home. I cannot stand this because they are nothing like the stay at home moms from past years. It used to be that mom's worked every day in the fields alongside their husbands and the hired help. It used to be that stay at home moms got side jobs to help the family survive.
I also want to note that I do not believe that women who stay at home and "only" homeschool, clean house etc are not fulfilling their calling. If you can stay home with your children and focus everything on them..then so be it! I would if I could!
Overall, I understand the message of working alongside your husband...I just don't like the way it was delivered and I don't like how this pastor tries to make many women feel like they are nothing but a burden to their husbands.
Thanks for posting this! Definitely an interesting read, although he's a bit brash. Having just made my third batch of your bread today Crystal, I definitely didn't like his comments on bread-making! I think that we should remember that being an entrepenuer is for certain stages of our lives. While married, before children, a home business or part-time job is a great way for a woman to add to the income. However, I have two very young children and know that at this stage, and once I'm homeschooling, it is increasingly difficult to do anything besides that if I want to raise my children well. I have made homemade crafts to sell, done some weekly cleaning for wages for my parents, sold homemade frozen dinners, and taken in some kids for babysitting, but even just a couple hours a week taxes me and pushes me beyond what I can handle at this point since it's tough to do these things with 2 small demanding children of my own and the way it changes their schedules. I also do a small newsletter monthly for young women encouraging them in homemaking and coordinate the nurseries at our church as well as reaching out to unsaved neighbors and friends and doing many activities with people throughout the week.
I think that once my kids are grown, I will actively contribute to the family income and pursue money-making endeavors like writing books, running a bed and breakfast, selling on e-bay, home craft products, etc. but at this point I contribute most to the family by trying to be thrifty and frugal, and save us money by doing things myself. I marvel at those of you, like you, Crystal, who can keep up with young kids and the demands of a home business as well. Can you tell me how you are successful at this, besides having your husband's help and being organized and well-structured?
I agree with his comments on Doctors and Lawyers. It's not that women shouldn't be educated, but if she plans to be a mother, why would she want to spend $100,000 on school only to either not use the education or be forced to be a working mom? There is a doctor lady in our church who discourages young women from becoming doctors. She knows the reality of being on call and constantly busy and out of the home as she raises her two young kids. I also agree that some things don't make sense to do in today's day and age. Sewing all of my kid's clothes would be MUCH costlier than going to yard sales and picking up new or almost-new outfits for a quarter. But, I do sew my kid's leather baby shoes, which only cost me about $1 to make, whereas buying them would cost $30.
I totally disagree with the man on his comments about gardening and bread-baking. Yes, it's true that for many women they are sometimes only hobbies and probably cost more than they are bringing in if the woman is obsessed with buying fancy plants and landscaping arrangements. But in the town I live in, produce is EXTREMELY pricey and growing a garden is a great way to provide produce for one's family. Since I have lots of time while I'm at home, I'm exchanging time for lots of food that I otherwise wouldn't have. Trying to get a job or start a home business at the stage of life I'm in isn't an option. So, if I was going to say that I won't garden since it's a waste of time, but I can't bring in money any other way, than I would be wasting a ton of money buying produce, especially organic produce. But at this stage of life I do have the time to garden, which translates into food for my family. Also, bread is unbelievably expensive here and the nearest Wal-Mart is 30 miles away. Making my own bread is not only better in taste and quality, but is a lot cheaper. I'm not just trying to imitate "Little House on the Prairie Wives" by doing these things. It's honestly a money-saver.
I agreed with many of his points and it is good for us to take stock as Christian women and see if there are areas where we could be more frugal not only with our money, but also with our TIME (the ROI thing you mentioned, Crystal.)
However, we should be very careful not to measure everything in life by money. Simple pleasures like chatting with neighbors, enjoying a starry night, making a beautiful garden that will be pleasing to the eyes and refreshing to the soul, sewing lovely quilts for gifts, should not be discarded because they are time-consuming and not making us money. If we can glorify God through these things, then we should do them. After all, God took time to create, and to enjoy His creation. I think women everywhere are under constant pressure, whether in the secular culture to do it all and have it all, and in the Church we are pressured to be the perfect homemakers, teachers, helpmeets, mothers, wives, etc. This article could be discouraging for women who already have enough trouble keeping the house picked up and the dishes done!
L - I'm sure it goes without saying that I didn't look at the other articles on that site, so please know I wasn't promoting or endorsing anything said there.
Also, let me reiterate that I disagreed with some of the article and felt the tone was harsh, but I thought that it would make us all think and consider things and, hopefully, have a good and profitable discussion, too! That's really what my desire was. So thank you to those of you who have weighed in. It's got me to thinking!
I also very much agree with the comments about the worth and value in learning and teaching our daughters some of the "lost arts." I love baking and making things from scratch as I'm able and I know my husband and daughters enjoy it, too. As with anything, there must be a balance!
Thanks for the great comments so far and I do hope that no one finds offense in me posting this. It is purely meant to be thought-provoking.
As I read this article, I kept thinking of Mat 6:19-21: Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
And also 1Ti 6:7-10 For we brought nothing into [this] world, [and it is] certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and [into] many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition.For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
His encouragement of women to work seemed to go beyond making ends meet and into the accumulation of wealth.
He also failed to recognize the fact that women are growing vegetables and making bread not for the purpose of saving pennies but in order to provide fresh (and therefore more nutritious) food for their families. Store bread is extremely proccesed (enriched) because it has no longer has any health benefits. Vegetables aren't as nutritious once picked and shipped all over and sit in storage for who knows how long. On a personal note, I find gardening to be one of the few times I can have quiet time with the Lord since I have several small children. I use that time to pray, meditate on the Word, and sing hymns. That is worth more to me than silver or gold!
One other comment that I noticed was when he said that older women may work outside of the home without violating the law (I'm assuming that he means the Bible.) Titus 2 teaches that the older women should teach the younger women to be keepers at home. I'm sure that is difficult to do if one isn't available and is being hypocritcal by working outside of the home.
Overall, I was disappointed to see that this pastor wasn't able to look past the dollar signs in his eyes to compare scripture with scripture (1Cor.2:13) with a meek and humble spirit in order to make his point. Instead he generated an idea out of his own mind and found one piece of scripture in order to prop it up.
Hi Crysatl,
Check out tommorrows paper there will be 4 books and they are good. Krogers is also having a rock bottom sale. I get tomorrows paper on Sat so I bought 3. I went to Krogers today and got 147.00 for 74.00
Blessings,
Elizabeth
So many good comments on this post. I wanted to add a bit more. Foremost, it's scary to me that this pastor is teaching or leading a church somewhere and throwing out his "opinions" as almost law in his own eyes. If he is married, I am sure his wife is required to work (how sad). Perhaps that is partly why I was turned off by his negative tone and the fact that I was part of a church for many years where often men's opinions became the law, instead of God's word. Opinions are just that, opinions.
As an example, a woman who is wheelchair-bound would not be able to do what he says should be done. Is she any less of a christian or loved any less by God? I don't think so. In my early years before I became sick, I burned the candle at both ends - studying the bible with people, serving, putting the requests of leaders & others before my own needs. When I became chronically ill, I had to learn to say no, because in the end the only one to take care of me is me. I fully believe that God knows my limits, understands them and still loves me. He does not love me less because I can't do all those things anymore, or because I don't provide income either. Perhaps you have little ones, or are taking care of a family member, or any of the various seasons of life that can happen to us all. You can only do what is best for you and your family.
Doing the best with what we have is all God ever really expects of us. Those crazy & busy days of my youth are gone and the seasons in my life have changed & will continue to till the end, as it will for us all. Each of us can only do what we can handle - and if that is conserving money instead of earning it - so be it. If we do not have every homemaking talent, that is okay too. Not everyone will be able to do everything and do it well. And guess what? God will still love you.
Crystal, I can't quote it word for word, but what is the saying you have used on occasion about doing what you can with what you have? And no, I am not offended that you posted the article - I just don't like his points of view. :)
Amen to the comment by Mrs. Jo. Especially this part:
"However, we should be very careful not to measure everything in life by money. Simple pleasures like chatting with neighbors, enjoying a starry night, making a beautiful garden that will be pleasing to the eyes and refreshing to the soul, sewing lovely quilts for gifts, should not be discarded because they are time-consuming and not making us money. If we can glorify God through these things, then we should do them. After all, God took time to create, and to enjoy His creation."
Lyn - It's one of my favorite mottoes by Teddy Roosevelt - "Do what you can, with what you've got, where you are."
I so agree with you that we can't say this is exactly the way that a Godly wife looks and what she does. While there are many Biblical principles found throughout Scripture for being a woman of God, the way we glorify God in practice will be a bit different for each of us. And that is the beauty of the Body of Christ working together, isn't it? I think that is one thing I've really learned from blogging and the interacting with so many people in so many different situations who are truly seeking to glorify the Lord. There's no cookie-cutter Christianity, is there?
I also think that sometimes it is much better to just focus on spending less than on making more. Simplifying our lives can be such a good thing!
Mrs. Jo. - I agree with Sarah L, that was a really great quote you wrote! Being the Type A, check things off my list, get things done type of person, learning to stop and smell the roses and to take time to enjoy the simple things in life, has been a very good thing for me - and something I'll probably always be seeking to learn!
Balance, balance, balance - it's the key, isn't it?
Thanks for the great discussion, ladies. I'd really hoped some of you would pipe up and share your thoughts on this so I am glad you took the time to do so so we could all learn and share and grow together!
Elizabeth - What sales did you get at Kroger? I didn't seem to find much there this week but I've not looked at the flier really closely. I plan my menus/grocery list on Monday so I've not yet spent much time looking at it. Do share, if you have a moment.
Anyone notice that in the past, prior to the industrial age, women did work at home, on the land, etc whilst managing their families too? People forget to look back just a few generations and see only what takes place today or in their parent's time.
I'm a firm believer that the Proverbs 31 Woman is also a business woman, a work at home mum and that does not mean she has to be working in her husband's business only. I know many women who have their own businesses to contribute to the household income and so that they can be home for their children.
I'm one and have been in business over 13 years and brought up 5 daughters in the process. All of them have seen a work ethic in practice and learnt what it means to plan, prepare and put in the hard work. Show me a child who learns that without it being shown by example - there aren't many.
Some fuss if you work outside the home; some fuss if you don't work outside the home. This pastor is vexed if you can't do both! Where is the Grace in this ? It seems to me that it takes a very strong woman to do what God calls her to do and not culture -- be that culture called Christian or secular.
Boy that was a LONG article! I think I could have sown, grown, and harvested a wheat field, milled the flour and baked bread for my family and community in the time it took to read the whole article!! :-)
Thanks for sharing it with us!
I find that the irony of this article is that it is posted on LAF and yet comes across as a put down if you are "just a homemaker" and not earning an income. Doesn't that sound feministic? Where is the contentment? Shouldn't women be honoring their husbands by being content with what he makes and doing their best to help stretch that? The article may have been more beneficial if it offered its view as a viable option for women who want to work out of the home, rather than as a "be an income earner, or you're not an asset" mentality. Sounds to me like this attitude just plays into the feminist mind-set.
I don't have an entrepeurial bone in my body. I just don't. To me, baking bread isn't just about the money - I spent yesterday sewing a dolly for my baby, knitting a dishcloth, cutting fleece liners for cloth nappies and finishing off a knitted cot blanket for the baby. I could have bought something so cheaply and used my time to make money - but for me, it is the love poured into the dolly or the bread or the story time that adds value.
Our government in the UK wants mothers working and children in day care for similar reasons - one carer can "invest" time in looking after more children, and the mother can "invest" her time in a job, and both carer and mother are paying taxes for the government to "invest" in their turn.
I always feel so overwhelmed by the pressure to be a businesswoman-at-home, as well as a wife, mama and homemaker. My husband doesn't see how we could make enough money from anything I could do, or how it wouldn't eat into the time and energy I have for the children, him and the home - the reason we sacrifice so much now and into the future is to let me FOCUS on them.
I just don't know how you do it, Crystal. I guess you must be a real type A and I must be a type P or something!
Let us look at what the scriptures say about what women are to be doing: Titus 2:4-5 "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, Keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." The scriptures clearly say that women sould be "keepers at home". There is no mandate for her to be income producing(not that it is wrong if she can manage it). On the other hand the husband is mandated by the scriptures to provide for his family. 1 Tim. 5:8 "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." We should set our priorities by what the scriptures say. For the married woman with children it is clear that the homemaking duties come first. Sould one put a dollar value on making her house a home and enjoyable for those whom she loves the most? Just because a woman doesn't earn an income does that make all the things she does for her family wasted idle time? Sould she buy T.V. dinners because they would be cheaper than cooking a meal for her family that will take 2 hours of her time to do so? What should one value? For me I find it more valuable to invest in my family by being a "keeper at home" by serving them with my time cleaning, washing, schooling, and yes cooking 2 hour dinners. It the best time of the day for us to gather around the table to a home cooked meal with Daddy at the head of the table. I have been married for 25 years. We have 4 daughters, the youngest is 6, and they are all still at home. Through the years I have worked some both in the home and out of the home. I have found that even when working as little a 2 hours a day the job responsibilities got my energy first and my family got what was left over. I know that some women may be able to handle the extra load but for me it didn't work. I think that it is important that when one adds to her schedule she should evaluate how it will affect her time with God, her husband, and her children. That is her first calling and should only add to it if it doesn't take away from what is most important. And one more thing. The scritures also say that wives should be obedient to their 'own' husbands, not any other man, not even the pastor as to how she is to spend her time.
This truth should relieve the undo stress that the article has placed on anyone to do more than what is already in her heart to do.
Lorraine
Most "successful" men have a wife backing them up at home--taking care of the children so childcare issues rarely interfere with work, keeping their clothing clean and well mended, and doing 90% or more of the necessary cleaning and shopping to keep the household runing smoothly. Also, wifely support often enables husbands to pursue outside interests or hobbies without having to factor in the disruption this could cause to the smooth running of a household. Many husbands take this situation for granted as their basic right. By contrast, many women do not have anyone to "back them up." If they don't have the time to shop, clean, cook, raise the children, and do all the small, intangible things that "make a house a home" then those things often are done haphazardly or not at all. Professor Abshire fell into the trap of seeing "women's work" as lacking intrinsic value. There are seasons of a woman's life where it is possible for her to make extra income without sacrificing her ability to meet her God-given calling of "keeper at home." There are other times where attempting to combine family responsibilities with outside employment or a home business could result in a cold, chaotic home life. I know the cost of living is high and families sometimes find it difficult to thrive on one income. However, I don't think this should be an excuse for urging the general adoption of a lifestyle where a woman's value is determined by the amount of income she adds to the family bottom line. Miss Kris
I must disagree with many of the things stated in the article. He seems to think that everything a woman does needs to a.) make money or b.) be a spiritual activity which is extremely limited to his point of view. He doesn't respect the stay at home mother doing the best she can but instead shakes a finger at her telling her she should do more while justifying he statements with the excuse that it takes more money to live in today's world. If we lived at the standard that our parent's and grandparent's lived (i.e. mainly vacationing at relatives' homes, one older car or none at all, one t.v., eating out only at special occasions, no cell phones, etc.) we would be fine. At best he states the logical such as saying money is time so don't waste it but then discourages women from getting an education and encourages low-wage jobs such as housecleaning or selling on ebay (which take a lot of time by the way). There are many at home jobs that require only short certification or on-the-job-training such as medical and police transcription (6 months certificate), at home billing (6 months certificate) or providing a licensed at-home-daycare business (2 week class and on-the-job-training). Getting an education is valuable simply for the knowledge gained. I received my B.A. in Psychology and then worked with special needs children. (Also, my degree cost next to nothing with scholarships that I earned. Just do research!) I don't work now but I use what I learned everyday - to me that is money well spent! Lastly, his tone was so negative that I (at first) didn't believe he was a minister. My hubby's job allows us to be friends with many different ministers of different denominations and I have never met someone who spoke like he did. I think that some one who says "Hey, I just thought of the best Christian put down of all time; if you really, REALLY want to insult a godless woman WITHOUT getting a slap in the face, or a punch from her husband, just say, �My, what a charming and beautiful woman you are�!�" is not someone who should be listened to. Man is supposed to be Christ-like and somehow I remember Christ using his words to uplift and inspire people, not criticize them and make them feel worthless.
Great comments and discussion on your part Crystal. This is a subject which I'm passionate about: that Christian women would see all God's word towards them as wonderful, perfect, life and blessing, not burdens and bondage.
When we get off onto the "to do's" of the Proverbs 31 wife we miss the point. This is a woman only found in Christ. He finds her (Who can find a wife of valor? Pr.31:10) This wife is God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works which He prepared beforehand that she should walk in them (Eph.2:10). Any woman who's a new creatiion in Christ and is a wife has this "workmanship" of God in her. As He matures and grows her she (that spiritual woman) will increasingly practice these good works of faith as it is God who works is in her willing and doing for His purposes(Phil.2:13).
NONE of us do all the Proverbs 31 woman descriptions perfectly, yet as we grow up in Christ, we will see His mighty power in us as wives living to a greater degree these wonderful predetermined good works He has for us.
I aggree with lyn. Whether we work at home or out of the home, either can take away from the ministry and purpose God has for me as a homemaker, helper and mother.
A prayerful heart of a wife who desires to let Christ be seen in her by submitting to her own husband with joy and seeking to do him good and not evil all the days of her life, bringing him no lack of gain, is a godly desire and one He will surely grant. This may look different in each of our marriages and homes as we each are to submit to our OWN husbands. My husband, for instance, desires me to be home yet he also believes I should work the minimum amount possible outside my home to keep my R.N. license. I don't care to keep it at all... my calling as at home fills my heart with satisfaction, but the very calling of God on my life as a wife is that I adapt myself to my own husband, and that we walk in unity together. So if my husband sees that I sould work outside my home a little, or another woman's husband wants to have a home business and desires his wife to manage that... each of these women who's hearts are Christ's and who willing defer to their husband's vision for the family in these matters is a Proverbs 31 wife!
Very very thought-provoking article. Though his writing style is annoying at best and downright offensive with the ALL CAPS writing constantly (enough, already!) his points are thought-provoking.
To be completely honest, I have often thought similiar thoughts while reading some of the blogs that link to and from this blog. It does seem that there is a trend nowadays where homsechooling families go 'old school' and garden, can, bake their own bread, sew their own clothes, almost as if to fill up the day.
Perhaps it is genuinely cheaper but I whole-heartedly agree that one must look very very closely at the ROI and not just seek to fill the day.
Because, we do have modern day aminities and washing our own clothes on a wash board does not make sense when we have washers. This is the time and place we live in and we are called to live in.
I also agree with his point that not every woman is business-minded.
Sometimes, I think frugality can be taken way way too far. For exapmle, rather than go on government aid, which in my opinion should only be for the most dire of circumstances, it would be far more beneficial and resourceful for a wife at home to find a way to make money from home, even if it is delivering papers with her kids in the car, than to go on govt. aid.
I think the trend towards doing 19th century work nowadays in many families is a bit of a shame. I'm talking about the things that we all know we can spend much less time, let alone money, doing using technology, and thereby free up our time to either add to our family income or perhaps to help another person.
Funny how most os didn't finsih reading the article-I read most of it then glanced over it.Good and bad points.
I am one to volunteer right now so that I can be flexible if my children need to go to the doctors and are home sick from school.I also take the tiem to cook meals,and do the best I can as a wife and mother.
There is no formula for everyone!!
I didn't have time to read the whole article, or all of the comments, but I found what little bit I read interesting.
Just a side comment, not sure if it applicable. The Lord made each and every one of us truly unique individuals. As well, our families are even more truly unique. One should not be a carbon copy of the next. A Mom who stays home and bakes bread and gardens can certainly be fulfilling her role as a helpmeet to her husband. So what if she doesn't generate any income! Is she at the neighbor's gossiping? Is she at the shopping mall spending her husband's hard earned cash on things not useful for the family? People like this author shouldn't be so quick to judge and put something as wonderous, beautiful and creative (b/c the Lord made her) as a WOMAN in a narrow box. We, as the Lord's creation, are just not that simple to figure out in a short article. Each one of us in our own unique way possess qualities of the Proverbs 31 Woman. And like a snowflake, no two of us are alike...nor should we be! This, I believe, brings Glory to the Lord.
Crystal,
So glad to read your "cookie cutter" comment. That was my entire opinion reading the article. (And my husband's- I gave him the article to read.) God did not stamp us out with cookie cutters. Just as we all have different Spiritual Gifts to use to the glory of God we all have regular talents etc. to use. That's how the body works. I also interpret Proverbs 31 to be a very entrepreneurial woman but how each woman works that out is between her and God. I feel the Proverbs woman saw opportunities and took them as they were things that were already part of life. For the woman who enjoys to garden... she is feeding her family good food, she doesn't have to spend gas or time to go get the food and she can sell or give surplus away. Same with any home skill. It really isn't about a dollar amount but the heart. Bottom line...eyes on God and let him lead you. Maybe that's a job outside the home, maybe that's a business, maybe it's perfecting home skills, maybe it's just dedicating your day to glorifying Him. If it truly God leading then the rest of us need to keep our mouths shut!
I found this piece very disappointing, & found myself getting annoyed & then angry while I read it!
Perhaps this pastor's intent was only to spur women on to a homebased business, if she & her husband were even considering it in the first place. But it certainly seemed more dictatorial than that! I eally don't think he fully understands the time & effort it takes to maintain a halfway nice-looking home.
When my children were littler, it was a good day if we ate a real meal off of real dishes, & I managed to keep us in clean underwear!! Obviously, things do change, & over time my workload changed. Some things became easier, but there always seemed to be something else that required more attention.
As for gardening being merely "puttering", I think this man needs reminding that a yard & garden can get out of hand inside of a few days, thereby neccesitating an all-day weed job. It's far more efficient to tend daily, whether it's flowers or vegetables we're talking about. I do some gardening work part time in the warmer months, & I mean to tell you, those services are not cheap. Proper garden tending is like outdoor housekeeping. It increases the real value of a place, & I shouldn't even have to address the enjoyment it brings to all who look at it. So many benefits.
What worries me most is that some husbands, who were perhaps not all the way "on board" with their wives being at home, will see this as an opportunity to push them into the workplace: "See?...Even Pastor So & So says you should be doing this." In my opinion, this man's tone reflects a person who is not contented with what he has, & he wants to make sure that everyone else feels that same discontent. I fear for the wives whose husbands will take most of what he said to heart.
sincerely, Brenda
Great comments and discussion, y'all! Thanks for keeping it cordial and kind. It was very thought-provoking for me and others, I hope!
I think what it boils down to is that we all need to be seeking to glorify the Lord where He has put us - not seeking to emulate someone else. We need to be making the best use of the resources God has given us and I do believe we need to be wise stewards of that which God has given us. However, it does not mean that spending our time doing home-related things are always a waste of time and effort, because they aren't - especially when we are doing them in the context of honoring the Lord and our families. But we always need to evaluate what we are doing in light of being a wise steward.
I had a lot of problems with this aritcle, but I wish this guy realized that not all Christian women believe in the "dominion mandate" and that isn't why they are staying home. They aren't doing it to take dominion. they are doing it because they believe that is God's calling for them to best care for their husbands and children.
I, also, disagree that a woman with no, grown or older children can't work outside the home. There are a ton of jobs out there that primarily attract women. Women can resist temptation and learn to deal with stress. I have blown up at my husband when I have been stressed out by the kids a lot more than when I was having a stressful day in the hospital.
Also, my husband talks out his day with me everynight. He doesn't follow the common idea that men keep everything inside. In a healthy marriage a man will let his wife know what is going on.
My mom and dad worked outside the home and homeschooled us. We, also had an enormous garden and our own farm animals. My sisters and I didn't end up to be rude ragamuffins or huge money wasters.
I was very upset about the gardening being used in the same sentence with TV watching. Keeping a garden is a very important thing for all children to learn. I have been giving out dozens of tomatoes to the nieghbors for weeks, now. Gardening is an excellent form of stress relief and excercise. I would rather see little kids and their moms weeding the garden than learning how to make a few bucks.
BTW, the Proverbs 31 woman was probably very wealthy and probably had servants who helped her out. She most likely had people available to watch her children, when she was out doing her businesses. I'm not in the position to hire any help.
Overall, I thought the article was saturated with his apparent love of money. Christians need to work on this. Did he mention about giving to charity in the article. I don't recall.
-Zan
Well, the article sure did get me thinking, but I don't think I appreciate the article at all. Titus 2 doesn't mention money making at all, and Timothy warns us of the love of money.
It did make me wonder, though, what all you ladies think about these home businesses that target the church family as their market. For example, we have been invited over many times to houses, only to find out it was a sell for a "business opportunity". And here I thought they wanted to get to know us. We were self-employed at one time and NEVER put our church family in the position of buying things from us. We didn't feel it would be right to compromise our relationship with them and reduce it to a profiting mechanism. I do feel you should never put yourself in the position where you are purposefully gaining from others with whom you have a relationship with other than business. Any thoughts?
I read most of the article, and echo everyone's statements regarding the author's know-it-all tone and condescending manner. He seems to be making a blanket statement about women and our need to earn an income, and yet so many of our husbands would rather we meet their needs, raise our children and create a lovely atmosphere in the home than earn money. My husband loves his job as provider and would not dream of pressuring me to help him in his efforts. Instead, he loves that he gets homemade bread in his lunch while all of his other colleagues eat the processed, chemically-laden kind. He loves that I find ways to fill our home with fresh fruits and vegetables. These are things that matter to him, and because he is a good provider, I can feel free to focus on homemaking instead of bringing home the bacon.
I think sometimes we lose sight of the picture of marriage - Christ and the church. There is nothing wrong with a woman earning an income while being busy at home, but just as Christ is our Provider, granting us all we need for life, our husbands are given the role of mirroring His image, being our provider, and we need not be burdened with this. Christ provides EVERYTHING, we bring nothing to the table, and so women who are not able to start up home businesses need not feel guilty for not helping bring in income. Instead, women must focus on being good stewards of their husband's income, thrifty, loving their husbands and loving their children, reaching out their hands to the needy, and keeping quiet hearts as we are instructed to in Scripture. Though we are free to sell things to make some extra money when we can, this is not a practice that makes us more godly, and it does not guarantee well-behaved children either. Instead, let's focus on mirroring the Church for the world. The church is to reach out to the ends of the earth, feeding the hungry, helping the needy, and bringing the gospel to all people. We women who are not burdened with jobs can do just this! We live in a day and age where no one, not even the church, is available. Because of this government agencies have sprouted up like weeds, and trust me, having worked in several pre-marriage, I know that they can do very little to actually help. Women not burdened with earning money can be available to help the needy, and in a day and age in which no one is at home anymore, this is a very valuable thing!
We often forget that men were cursed with toiling by the sweat of their brows to provide for their families. This is not our curse. We are to bear children in pain and suffering, and submit to our husbands though we desire their authority. This is our curse. It does not make a woman more godly to bear the double curse. Of course, some women need to work because their husbands want them to or need them to for some reason; we do not know everyone's situation and so we are not free to judge. The Proverbs 31 woman was very economical, and so should we be, but one commenter made a good point when she reminded us that the Proverbs 31 woman had maidservants. She had an entire estate to govern, and many of us can't say the same for ourselves. It is very easy to accidentally neglect our husband and sweet children in our efforts to be Proverbs 31-like.
One last point - I have four teenage cousins who have gotten cancer, and two have died. People are getting cancer younger and younger. I truly believe that much of this is due to the lack of nutrition and the abundance of chemicals and additives found in the supermarket shelves. Fruits and vegetables, even organic ones, are often picked before they are ripe and because of this lack many nutrients our bodies need. Store bought bread is processed and even wehat bread is not all that healthful. Milk is laden with hormones and antibiotics, and new studies show, trace amounts of rocket fuel. If a woman wants to garden her own produce so that her family can benefit from nutritious vine-ripened food, make her own healthful bread without chemicals, even house and milk a goat to provide clean milk, then more power to her! Her family will be the better for it, and will rise up to call her blessed! This woman is wise and skillful in our day and age, and if this kind of work prevents her from having the time to run a home business, she need not worry - a woman's focus should not be to make money.
So many husbands thrive under pressure, and become better providers because they know that the job of provider rests solely on them. Wives can actually do their husbands a disservice when they try to relieve their husbands of this, and at times it results in a husband who doesn't give work his all and a wife who has the wrong priorities (of course not all the time!). There is nothing wrong with women who work from home - I find ways to make money myself sometimes - but I disagree with this pastor's assertion that it is the best thing.
That said, if a wife must work, it is best that she works at home. I very much appreciate all you have written on it Crystal, and hope to see more about it in the future! I just don't agree with the writer of the article.
Christine
Christine - what great thoughts!
One thing I failed to mention is that what I got out of the article - besides it spurring me to think through some things! - was that we should be seeking to do all we can to be the best home managers that we can. We shouldn't be content with mediocrity, but should always seek to be learning and improving. We need to be the best stewards of the time and resources and abilities God has given us in our calling as wives, mothers, and homemakers. We also need to be seeking to do all we can to make our husband successful and to honor him in how we run our home. This will, of course, mean different things for different women since we all have different husbands. We need to be seeking how we can uniquely meet our own husband's needs.
I'm loving these comments and hearing how each of you are seeking to do just that!
Crystal,
I struggled through the article (it was hard to read for many reasons);) and I found it on the one hand thought provoking, and on the other, rather condescending as others have said here.
First off, though, we need to remember this is a guy writing the article and men see things way differently than women do. Men are very goal orientated, and he maybe doesn't see the immediate benefit of devoting oneself to raising children or gardening (the benefits are more long term). When men see a budget shortfall their first response is to make more money (most men anyway)...but as women we are able to analyze the big picture and figure out ways to plug the holes. That's just one way we compliment our husbands :-)
For the record, though, later in the article he did mention that everyone is at a different season of life, and I personally think home business works well for me right now because my youngest child is 8, and they are all well trained and helpful children. There is no way I could have managed a business when I had 5 under 6. Still it's like a "job" and I need to fight to maintain a proper balance.
I am thankful for it, but it is not effective in our family's bottom line if I am not doing those "little things" that stretch each dollar further, such as gardening. Now, he has a point to some extent about gardening not saving money IF DONE THE WRONG WAY. I focus on growing what is otherwise too expensive, and I don't fret about having weeds or about having a picture-perfect garden. Having a large patch of raspberries, strawberries, gooseberries, and grapes alone is worth the time spent when you see how much fruits cost. We convert those fruits we didn't eat fresh into drink syrups, and we have "homemade koolaid" for the year--compared to Koolaid, juice, and soda, it is a deal.
The same is true with bread, as Crystal said. One of the benefits of gardening and bread baking is the quality time spent working productively with our children by our sides. I could spend $1.39 for a loaf of spongy "whole wheat-style" sandwich bread at Walmart, but yuck! I only like that for french toast on occasion, not every day. ;)
Even with sewing--I don't sew because I feel it is "holier" than buying clothes (I buy when I can!) but because it is very hard to find long skirts, coulottes, modest fitting dresses, and so forth even at resale shops, especially if you are an odd size, or need something specific for a specific occasion.
One of the gals wrote:
"It did make me wonder, though, what all you ladies think about these home businesses that target the church family as their market. For example, we have been invited over many times to houses, only to find out it was a sell for a "business opportunity". And here I thought they wanted to get to know us.""
I HATE that. While many people in my church use my web design services, I am not at church to network or pass out business cards. I think that the best home businesses are the ones that focus on what YOU do best, and enjoy doing...rather than just selling some other product or service (often at a huge markup). I don't like going to those home parties either where everyone feels pressured to spend some money on something that can be bought cheaper elsewhere.
I don't really have the time to write much, but I wanted to share that I have been doing medical transcription for the past 11 years, most of it from home. I am currently home. I work about 2-3 hours each day, split up throughout the day, when my daughter naps and one hour in the evening after dinner. It is very good money for minimal effort. I am thankful to have this available to me, to help with our finances and to have the little extras. But I truthfully look forward to a day when I don't have to do it. It just gives me a different mindset. It is somewhat of a burden to me . . . something added to my already busy plate. An extra "responsibility." I have to have the work back the next day, I have to be available in case there is an emergency report that needs typed. And even on the days where home life doesn't run so smoothly, I still have to get the work done and back to the offices. (My husband is my courier.) It puts a pressure on me that I do not really desire. I gain no self-esteem from "working for money." My husband is currently trying to get a position in a different field where he will make the same annual salary he currently makes, but it will include full health insurance coverage, so it will be like getting a $9,000 a year raise (yes that is what we pay through his work for family health ins). That way I can then drop my one account, as that is about what it brings in, and then I will only type for one hour at night and still bring in a little extra. Also where my husband doesn't get any type of raise (sales . . . in fact they took $5000 off his annual salary a few years ago) this new job would include yearly cost of living raises. I look forward to the day when I can devote all my time to my family. There is quite a lot you can get done in 3 hours, and I'd love to have that time back to do it. Again, I try to stay thankful, and I know my husband appreciates my helping out, otherwise, things would really be tight! Now I have to get back to cleaning the pickel juice out of my fridge:)
I wish I had been wiser and had a home business going before I got pregnant. My baby is due any day now, and I'm trying now to get a home business going and it takes up a lot of time. I'm wondering how I'm going to work the business and take care of my baby. But, it has to be done, because I refuse to work outside of the home after the baby is here. I just have to work on a good balance. We'll see how it goes. Wish me luck!!
I did read the entire article and it most certainly 'rubbed me the wrong way'. I felt the tone of the entire passage was condescending and 'this is the way I see it and it's right'.I was actually shocked about his comments about women 'playing Martha Stewart' in reference to gardening and baking bread- as if it were only for fun, not for maximizing nutrition that we desperately need in this day.
Maybe I took it the wrong way, but I almost got the impression that he didn't really feel that women should stay at home and keep it- but that they should be bringing in money as a worthwhile investment of time. And since Godly women with families to raise shouldn't seek a career, a home business is one way they can still contribute and earn money. To clarify, it seems like he really thinks women should work, but since it has become evident that women should be at home, then they should earn money at home instead.
My husband and I both were definitely rubbed the wrong way. There is absolutely no way I could do a home business, and yet I felt like what I was doing wasn't really important according to him. Normally I go out of my way to look at the other side of things before making a judgement, but the only thing I got out of it is that as soon as my kids get older I should be trying to make some money. I want to say more but I have three little ones crying for my attention.
I agree with a lot of the other ladies that while his basic point (that being an entrepreneurial wife can be a blessing) is good, he carries it too far. I think that you should consider ROI, but it's not all about money. It's about teaching your children and about having different quality products. Organic apples grown in my backyard are healthier than the organic apples at Kroger, and you can't put a price on it. It's worth it to some families and not to others. I can buy clothes in a store, but then I'm stuck with what's available. If I want modest yet stylish clothes to fit my somewhat unusual figure and accomodate a nursing baby, I have to sew my own or spend incredible amounts of money.
The biggest problem I have with the article, though, is that he doesn't seem too concerned with priorities. If I'm a mama who makes most of my bread and one day my children need me more than normal, I can buy a loaf of bread that day. If I have a business I need to tend to, I have to get it done or risk losing clients and eventually my business. While there are some small cottage industries that can truly accomodate a mother's harried schedule, many can't. I'd rather err on the side of not taking on enough than take on too much and then have to decide whether to ignore my children or my business.
Thanks for posting this, Crystal. It made me think!
But, the writer seems to put down homemakers as people who aren't as intelligent as those who have businesses. He implies that with all the time-saving devices we have nowadays we don't need to spend as much time looking after our homes. In a sense that's true, but did he ever stop to consider that we have things to do that the 19th century women didn't? Such as, washing more clothes, vacuuming carpets, cleaning everything from blinds, to furniture, to windows, mowing lawns, keeping plumbing and electricity in working order, and so many other things they didn't have to do 100 years ago? "Prairie" people lived in simple little houses, sometimes with dirt floors and no glass in the windows, and 15 dish pieces. Although they gardened and canned they didn't have to keep up a big house. I'm sure they worked very hard. But it isn't true that modern homemakers don't work hard also.
Anyways, I did read the article, and agreed with quite a bit of it. It's good if a woman can bring in income, and she should be a good manager of the home and finances. But, making money should not be an idol.
I was wondering why alot of women seem to think our sisters of long gone past worked all the time in the field with their hubbies? The impression I've received from reading numerous accounts is that was a rarity and only if absolutely necessary. More often than not, they were in the home. They might send some extra butter to town if they had some to spare because the cow was putting out more milk than needed and that was the idea the Proverbs 31 woman gave me too. I would think most pioneers and farmers would have been ashamed to have to have their wives in the field. I don't know...that's just the image I got and was curious where others were getting theirs.
"I was wondering why alot of women seem to think our sisters of long gone past worked all the time in the field with their hubbies? The impression I've received from reading numerous accounts is that was a rarity and only if absolutely necessary. More often than not, they were in the home. They might send some extra butter to town if they had some to spare because the cow was putting out more milk than needed and that was the idea the Proverbs 31 woman gave me too. I would think most pioneers and farmers would have been ashamed to have to have their wives in the field. I don't know...that's just the image I got and was curious where others were getting theirs."
I believe that if one looks at history one will see the wives working alongside their husbands. Yes, in the home, with the children and yes...even in the fields. A good friend of mine has picture of her great grandmother sitting on a cotton baler baling cotton with her husband. This was much more common then us women today might think. It was also VERY common for the children to be involved in this manual labor. I am not saying this is convenient just that there was no shame in it. Women worked and sweated next to their husbands. When the men went to war the women had to get work outside the home AND keep the fields. I am not saying that their is anything wrong with being a stay at home mom that "only" homeschools and keeps house. I fully believe that this is a full time job. However, as a mom who has to work outside the home I find it interesting that many stay at home moms today forget what being a stay at home mom meant 50-100 years ago.
That is what I read in the book by Laura Ingalls Wilder, "The Long Winter" (p.4): "She (laura's mother) didn't like to see women working in the fields. Only foreigners did that. Ma and her girls were Americans, above doing men's work"
I don't know who spread the religious view that women worked side by side in the fields with their husbands. I grew up on the frontier and while Daddy took care of the hay and various parts of the crop, Mama baked bread and made jam and did the laundry. Both their own parents were born in the 1800's and the mothers stayed home caring for children or getting the house ready for their husbands...as far back as I can remember, or even hearing such elderly people's memories, none of them ever experienced the wife working side by side in the field. I believe it is a romantic religious wish on the part of modernists who believe women should do anythng men have do.I've seen where some people try to present this notion as a historical fact, but never any proof except in paintings of peasants working in the fields. Even then, we have no proof it was because they were trying to follow the Biblical mandate. It may have been a custom in some countries at some times, but it is certainly not what the scriptures teach as the role of women and men.
So it sounds like a hundred years ago it was not that typical for women to work in the fields alongside men, at least in USA.
I will add that although I have photographs of my mother driving the tractor, she didn't do it as a job. She liked to drive it sometimes and offerred to do it if she had time. It wasn't so that she could "work side by side in the fields" with my dad. I observed something out here a few days ago. A man was driving his threshing machine in the field of wheat and a woman drove up near the field in a little car. She got out and took a bagged lunch and he stopped and help her climb up in the tractor. She drove it while he ate his lunch. Most of the time when my mother drove the tractor, she had just brought lunch. If she didn't feel well or had urgent homemaking to do, she would not go out to the field. I know that the woman who drove that tractor the other day is meticulous about her house and her cooking and her children. She wouldn't have time to work in her husband's business.
"I believe that if one looks at history one will see the wives working alongside their husbands. Yes, in the home, with the children and yes...even in the fields."
I WAS reading history, and that's why I was wondering where women were reading different accounts. I'd like to read them too. No sources were listed in your comment except a picture and that doesn't necessarily mean she was using the baler. Like I said, I'm sure it happened, there's no denying that. But how often, and was it the exception or the rule. Women in the workforce today, at home or in public, are the rule now. I just don't agree it's always been that way.
I am SO enjoying this discussion ladies! Very profitable.
I read this whole thing (and maybe one would question whether that was the best use of the time I had while babe was nursing ;) ) and I don't think I saw it mentioned that husbands make more when their wives aren't overburdened. My husband was valued higher at his job when I didn't work. He didn't have to think about anything else hardly at all. Now he has to think about the bank statements, about calling to get the truck repaired, about stopping at the grocery store and it does cut into the attention that he pays to work.
I now work from home, doing medical transcription, and I don't do it well. My 'other' work from home opportunity is selling sewn items, and that one does fit better into our family, but I don't see having time for that once I have more than a couple babies. I have gotten overdraft fees from the bank, spent more on groceries, and not caught errors on monthly statements due to being frazzled and spread too thin.
Another plus of not working from home is that if you aren't earning money, you aren't paying taxes on it. Even if I'm only averaging $3/hour in organic produce for the time spent on my garden, that's $3 that we didn't have to come up with another way and is not partially redistributed to abortion clinics or other such agendas via taxation.
We're working hard now to get it so that I don't *have* to work from home :)
No matter what "most" women or "some" women did historically, it is the New Testament model that the Christian women sought to folow, whether it was 100 years ago or today. You can show me tons of "evidence" that women worked side by side with the men in the field, but it does not mean it is the model of womanhood that Christians aspire to, nor does it mean it is what Christian women did at the time. I've had lots of letters telling me that a hundred years ago women used to do this or that, but I always say, "Yes, but the Christian women behaved differently from the world--then, as well as now. Their culture is patterned by the scriptures, not by what other people did or do." It would not matter if there was proof beyond a shadow of a doubt that women of the 18th or 19th century worked in the fields, because it would not be a model for women who follow the word of God. Thus in any culture, even a lost one, people can find the right way to live according to their roles, and need not rely on what people did in the past. The past is important, it is true, but only when used to see the results when people followed the scriptures, or deviated from them.