A new low in culture wars
The bed is made, the bathrooms are cleaned, and the laundry is in the process of being folded. Progress! We just had lunch and the girls are now down for their afternoon naps while I attempt to finish the rest of my to-do list and get some business orders ready to be shipped.
I had to stop a moment in the midst of my day, though, to post this. I almost didn't because we've had a lot of pretty meaty and heavy posts this week and I don't want to overwhelm you with depressing news. Yet, I cannot gloss over this one. What is our culture coming to?
From FoxNews:
I had to stop a moment in the midst of my day, though, to post this. I almost didn't because we've had a lot of pretty meaty and heavy posts this week and I don't want to overwhelm you with depressing news. Yet, I cannot gloss over this one. What is our culture coming to?
From FoxNews:
Related: Speaking of culture wars, be sure to contact your congressman concerning the Employee Nondiscrimination Act. My husband has the scoop here.It's a new low in the culture wars.
Yesterday the Portland, Maine School Committee approved a plan that allows the health center of King Middle School to provide birth control pills and patches to students in the sixth grade. Parental consent or knowledge is not required. In fact, it is outlawed. Under Maine state law, once a parent has signed a waver allowing a child to be treated at a school clinic in case of sickness or injury, specific treatment is "confidential." Students (kids) decide for themselves whether to tell their parents about the services they receive.
posted by Crystal Paine at 2:44 PM
32 Comments:
This is heartbreaking. I'm afraid one day they will do away with statuatory rape laws and their will be NO accountability left...
I was more troubled by another news article I read today, which I happened to catch while browsing the news. I wondered what your thoughts were on it (Crystal and all other readers):
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21364055/
Basically, the article reports on a recent study suggesting that feminists have happier relationships with men, and that men are happier with feminists.
Personally, I feel that studies can be designed to "prove" whatever a given researcher wishes, so I don't find it to be that persuasive. However, news readers will undoubtedly be influenced by it, which is a bit troubling.
- Lindsay
P.S. I've kind of been lurking for a while now, but I'm finally ready to introduce myself. I'm a SAH wife from KY, and I'm continually inspired by your thoughts and ideas.
You are right... this is not a good week for news. I have to wonder how much time is left... I know it can get worse!
Lindsay: Welcome!
I think the article didn't take into the account the fact that most men don't even *know* what a healthy marriage should look like nowadays. Or that there is any other option to being drug around on a leash like a dog (sorry, but that's what a lot of these women do to their men). I think men have become so emasculated that they don't even know how wonderful it could be to have a supportive, loving wife who truly threw herself into being his helper.
You know what I mean?
When I read studies like this it just makes me realize how much we need to be holding up a strong and beautiful marriage before the world. Such marriages are very few and far between now.
I was so disturbed by this when I first heard about it.
My mind can't even comprehend a 12-year-old going to the school nurse for birth control!
This is troubling- and there isn't a discussion of alternatives like those used by my mom, who is the school nurse for one of our local elementary schools that serves a population similar to that of the one in this article.
When confronted with a student (male or female) that reveals current sexual activity, she contacts one of two authorities: parents, and/or police (as one might expect, children so young, including those in middle school, who are sexually active are usually victims of abuse). Middle schoolers are NOT in any position to be making mature (wise or unwise) decisions regarding adult activities.
Also, I did see the artcle about feminists in relationsships and thought that is might be best interpreted in the context of a society that supports that way of life. You could also probably find through a similar study that "wife-beating participants report more happiness in relationships when they live in a society that condones wife-beating", etc. I don't think that the article has any credibility in terms of proving some sort of inherent good value of feminism.
Even aside from the moral issues here (which are very important), the health risks this presents for children are astounding. I wish people would research how dangerous these drugs can be, especially the patch. And we're talking about pumping hormones into children who aren't even done growing yet.
I heard on the radio today that the parents requested that a notification about birth control being offered be printed on the consent form (for their child to use school health services) and were denied. There is also no way to specify on the consent form which services the parents are consenting to and which they are refusing.
wow...as a mom of children around that age, I'm speechless.
Lindsay, about the study suggesting that feminists have better relationships, I think it doesn't surprise me...after all, why wouldn't a man want a relationship where he doesn't have to take responsibility? There are fewer and fewer men with a truely biblical view of manhood in this world. From a purely worldly perspective, there is a difference between being the sole breadwinner for a woman and a growing number of children, and being an "equal partner" with a woman who brings in as much or more than you, and doesn't want kids. Add to this that many of these modern women don't want "commitments"---so, there is not nearly as much pressure on a worldly-minded guy.
The other interesting note is that this study was not overall satisfaction but satisfaction in bed...and given that most of these women are not having children by choice, likely have multiple partners, and are probably not opposed to inviting various wicked practices into the bedroom, I can see how they would perceive happiness in a carnal area. If you have no standards, whenever things get boring--take it to the next level. I know too many women like that--including many family members. :(
I totally disagree with what they are doing. I saw it on the news this afternoon and could not believe what I was hearing. I know several children in this age group and I can't imagine how something like this could affect them if this becomes a trend and ends up in schools in our county!
Carla from Maryland
I wrote about this is my blog.
Just another reason to consider homeschooling...
I read that there were 17 pregnancies in this middle school disctrict/area.
Someone explain to me, why is a 11-year old having sex? or 12..or 13..
It really makes me sick thinking about it. How can a girl be mentally mature for that stuff?
It also makes me wonder about sexual abuse and statuatory rape.
I say this because, boys tend to reach puberty later than girls. So in reality, it could be a 15 year old boy with an 11 year old girl. YUCK!
Aisha
Hi there. This is why I love this blog -- for a different perspective on sex and gender issues from thoughtful women. I will offer my view on the two topics raised.
BIRTH CONTROL FOR MIDDLE SCHOOLERS: In the link, the blogger assumes that providing contraception will lead to greater promiscuity among middle schoolers. I am not sure how he knows this and whether there are any studies to support his assumption.
On a personal note, my parents provided permission for me to be treated on a confidential basis at my high school infirmary, which did dispense birth control pills and condoms. My parents' reasoning was that sex itself (assuming desire and consent on my part) is not a bad thing -- but unsafe sex is. Obviously, there are issues with children below the age of consent, but I think the idea is that if those children are having sex, we at least want to try to protect them from disease and from pregnancy they are not ready to cope with. If no options are available on a confidential basis, the risk is that these children will have sex anyway but on an unsafe basis.
ON FEMINISTS HAVING HAPPIER RELATIONSHIPS:
Kimberly asks:
. . . after all, why wouldn't a man want a relationship where he doesn't have to take responsibility?
This is a misconception. Men in feminist marriages HAVE to take responsibility if those marriages are going to work. It is just that the man's responsibilties may not be the same as the traditional responsibility of sole breadwinner/leader of the home. In my marriage, for example, my husband has many responsibilities: (a) contributing to the family income; (b) doing his own laundry, making his own lunch, and cleaning up after himself; (c) helping to care for the family home; (d) helping to manage the family finances; (e) helping to make family decisions; and (f) providing emotional support and consideration to his wife. My responsibilities are identical to my husband's. Of course, there is no blueprint for a feminist marriage (some feminists are housewives, for example), but relationships, no matter what the division of labor, always involve responsibility. Otherwise, the relationship falls apart.
I am not sure what it means to say that a certain role is "emasculating" for a man. If emasulation is defined as performing a certain role, then you aren't really saying anything, but rather you are engaging in a tautology. But, if you are saying somehow that my husband is a weaker person than he would otherwise be, I can assure you that is not the case. My husband is a pretty strong, confident guy, very capable of taking on responsibility and leadership when appropriate. To me, it doesn't seem to follow that being in charge of mopping the floors makes a man less strong in terms of character.
To me, it also makes sense that egalitarian marriages are often happy. If both parties have an equal amount of power and responsibility, it is less likely that resentment will fester. It is also easier to empathize with each other if you are performing similar roles. (One entertaining tidbit -- feminists assume that traditionalist marriages and traditionalist women are miserable, and traditionalists assume that feminist marriages and feminists are miserable! I guess we all have our prejudices . . .)
-- Happy Feminist
Honestly, my husband and I feel like this battle was lost before it begun. The problem is already there, namely middle school students who are not following God or behaving morally. So either way it's bad. Birth control or not, there's still a problem.
However, the birth control being handed out like candy is only going to be viewed as approval of the behavior. I do NOT agree with that. But take away the birth control and the problem doesn't just go away. And the answer is not school mandated abstinence instruction. The answer is parents who teach their children to follow God. Sadly, it seems there are not many of those left in America. :(
Wow. So many things like this are happening these days, and it is so disturbing. I have to constantly remind myself that God is in complete control, for so often it is easy to become so discouraged about the state of things and forget that God is still on His throne! His patience in holding off judgement on the world is amazing to me, and so convicting.
Yes, it has been a heavy week in news, but thank you for pointing us to these things and keeping us informed.
Obviously, HF, I disagree with, well, pretty much everything you wrote because we're coming from completely different world views. :)
My view is based upon the Bible which is the infallible Word of God.
As such, I believe that all sex outside of marriage is unsafe and not only that, but it is *wrong.* Marriage was designed by God to be where the marriage bed is enjoyed and it is also only in a marriage where God designed children to be born.
Because of sin in the world, things are far from perfect and we've lost sight of God's original intentions for marriage. We are trying to come up with all these quick fixes, but these are only like slapping a band-aid on a huge growing problem.
The solution is really not more birth control pills, more contraceptives, more sex education, more abstinence education (though I'm not opposed to encouraging people to wait until marriage!), the solution is *Christ.*
If we raise our children up to love the Lord with all their hearts, to love His Word, and to want to obey it, we won't even have to worry about whether or not we need to give our children contraceptives.
I agree with Harmony. This needs to start with parents training and raising their children in the ways of the Lord.
HF: To answer your second point:
Since, once again, I base my views on the Word of God, I believe that the relationship between a husband and wife is to be a picture of Christ and the Church. Christ is the Head of the Church. He also laid down His life for the Church.
My husband is my leader, my provider, my protector, my lover, my counselor, and my best friend.
One of the basic tenants of Christianity is following in Christ's steps and giving "my life for yours." It is a giving up of what I want, my selfish desires, for another.
Feminism, on the other hand, teaches "me first."
A relationship where both parties are giving up their wants and desires for the other is sure to be a much more loving and harmonious relationship than a partnership where each person is concerned first about their own needs.
Marriages which don't follow God's Biblical plan for marriages are not necessarily always these awful miserable situations (though they *often* are), but they are so far from the beautiful marriage which is to be found when you follow God's design.
That is why I can say in complete confidence that feminists will never have as harmonious of marriages as they could have if they followed the principles laid out in Scripture!
As an aside: This is also why I believe the term "Christian feminist" is an oxymoron. (I know you're not claiming that term, HF, but I thought I'd throw it out there for others reading this who think you can be one and the same.)
Crystal:
First, this article is too awful for words. I was still reeling from the CA article and now this! Anyway, I appreciate your willingness to be "meaty and heavy" with your posts! Way to go and hope you got the rest of your to-do list finished!
-LL
I know, it makes me sick to my stomach!
When I came across this earlier today I just was in shock...
the sin in this world...
may we take a stand for the truth..
We were just hearing about this on the news. I just want to cry. I think I will step up my efforts to encourage all my friends at church to at least consider homeschooling.... its just going to get worse I fear!
I too agree that it is sickening to think of middle schoolers having sex. I also believe that sex belongs within a loving, monogamous relationship between consenting adults. But what anybody's religious views are has no bearing and should have no bearing on the policies of public, government-funded institutions.
The sad fact is that people, even children, are going to have sex. Some of these people are going to have sex as a result of some sort of sexual abuse.
The sexual activity of these children is a public health issue. It is not healthy for children this young to bear children. If they are going to have sex anyway, whether by their own choice or as a result of abuse, their safety should be taken into account.
In an ideal world, children would not be having sex. In an ideal world, children could come to their parents with such issues. But it is not an ideal world and will not be one until after the end of days.
I too am a believer in the Bible as the inspired Word of God. But I also realize that I live in a secular society and, quite frankly, I am glad for that.
Though it is sad that children are having sex, it is in the public's best interest to protect them from pregnancy and STD's. It is in the public's best interest to allow contraception.
Continue to minister to and love those in need, but Christians should not force their religious views on secular government.
As a wise man once said, "Preach the gospel often; if necessary, use words."
Whoa. Since when can a 12-year-old make medical decisions for his or herself? Parents have the responsibility to raise and care for their children. How dare the schools remove parents from parenting.
What if a child was taking certain medication (unknown to his parents) and then takes supplements or other medicine that could have dangerous interactions?
This is the scariest thing ever. I hope the parents of those children protest like never before.
I live in Maine, so this really strikes a chord with me. I couldnt help but post on my blog (http://atime4everythingblog.blogspot.com/2007/10/ever-sinking-culture-children-being.html), as my comment would take up entirely too much here!
Just thought I would mention that upon further investigation, this not only includes contraception but such drugs as the morning after pill also.
It's just so stinkin' despicable! And people wonder why I don't wouldn't put my children in public schools! Scary, scary, scary!
And Homemaker05 is right--wonder how much time is left? Come soon, Jesus!
My hubby and I where watching the news together when we heard this. Our mouths where hanging open in disgust. What is next contraceptives in Kindergarden?
Oh, that story just steams me. Gotta pump little girls full of hormones because heaven knows, pregnancy is the worst possible thing that can happen to a girl. Lets just ignore the fact that girls that young who are having sex are unlikely to be consenting or fully cognizant of what they're doing and the consequences. Lets forget that hormones don't prevent STD's. Let's take the easy road and prevent pregnancy! Who cares what nasty disease they get or who's raping them. :( And if the birth control fails, why don't we buy a special bus to transport them down to the local planned parenthood.
Ugh.
It's like boiling the frog - you turn the heat up a little bit at a time and the frog doesn't know it's about to be dinner. Christians need to rethink what their worldview really is. Is it Biblical or is it wordly. You see comments right here on this blog that show that Christians are having the heat turned up on the pot slowly and they don't even know it. Comments such as "CA gives us 4 different options to homeschool" and "in the real world kids have sex anyway" Is it Biblical to think it's great that the state let's us have some say in how we raise our children? Is it Biblical to just hand out birth control because kids have sex anyway?
This is disturbing on so many levels. Everyone has expressed disgust over lack of parental consent and kids having sex, but what about the fact that drugs are being handed out without a proper medical examination by a doctor??? Hormones aren't something to just pass out like candy; a doctor has to prescribe them after a full examination, taking in a patient's medical history, which a 12-year-old probably doesn't have full grasp of anyway. Where does a school nurse have the medical authority to pass out drugs? I'm thinking that alone would be illegal, not to mention unethical.
I really have to wonder what thought processes lead some adults to conclude that this is a good idea. It's hard to imagine this world getting much worse, but I guess this really drives home what Paul meant when he told the Romans that they INVENT ways to do evil. I'm finally starting to understand that statement...
Crystal,
Thank you for your response! One thing that we perhaps do agree on is that happiness is not the main point, either way. If you suddenly became convinced that feminist marriages are happier, you wouldn't become a feminist because it is more important to you to follow what is written in the Bible. Similarly, I would not embrace a helpmeet role even if you could convince me that I would be happier in that role, because that role goes against values that I hold dear, ethical obligations to live autonomously and in fulfillment of whatever role I can take on to best be of service to myself and others.
I am a huge believer that the happiness issue is a big red herring. Even if feminists were less happy in their marriages (which seems not to be the case, according to this study), that fact would not invalidate feminism. Same goes for Christianity.
-- HF
Oy. Oftentimes I roll my eyes at ' culture war' articles, but this one hurts.
I guess to me, this is just an illustration of how uninvolved parents are in their childrens lives. ( I said parents, not just moms)
Add to that how obsessed people seem to be with exploiting women and girls- its a recipe for disaster. Everything is about being thinner, prettier, sexier, younger looking, better than the next.
On top of it all, all we care about is money, success, comfort. When people are so focused ' me, me,mine'- there is little room for concern for others. How else could we explain children who grow up with near-absentee parents? The thousands of foster children waiting for adoption ( for free), while infants are snapped up for 30K or more? And dont even mention the poor, or physically or mentally handicapped..we're far too engrossed in upgrading our SUV's to care about that.
OK so annonymous is a believer in the Bible as the inspired Word of God and is glad she lives in a secular society? I don't get that.
One point that I haven't seen mentioned here is that the parents do have a choice. They can choose to refuse their children care at the school clinic and instead have them sent to the hospital or have the parent called to administer care. They can also choose to take their child out of the school and put them into a private school or homeschool them.
Don't get me wrong. I believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong, and I certainly think, as a nurse, that young girls have no business on the pill/patch. In girls that young most of their menstral cycles have not even regulated yet. Those little bodies need to grow up before anyone tries to alter their normal functioning.
Crystal one question. You mentioned in a reply the following:
"Marriage was designed by God to be where the marriage bed is enjoyed and it is also only in a marriage where God designed children to be born."
I assume that you meant Sex was designed by God...but can you clarify the last part of that? Only because it sounds like sex is only for procreation.(It's more than ok with me if you don't post this comment)Also, it sounds as if God only designs marriages to include giving birth to children, and as you know He does design some marriages to be childless. It may not be the norm, but the Bible tells us that before we were knit together in our mother's wombs He knew us and every day of our lives. Which means that He knew if we would be infertile. Since most people don't know they're infertile until they start trying to concieve, it is reasonable to conclude that He doesn't intend for all infertile people to remain single.
I don't really mean to pick, but I thought it important to note that.
PS: I think it's exciting that your husband is starting his own law practice.
Trouble is brewing for the school district(just saw mention of this on Fox News but don't have a link there).
http://www.asmainegoes.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=50070
I'm just astonished! Well, I guess I shouldn't really be. I mean, what else is new? Our culture is going farther and farther down the tubes. It's just SO sad!!!
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