There are no words
My question is: What should our response as Christians be to this? How do we confront the culture when it comes to the heinous act of abortion - especially in the case of a mother choosing to kill her children so that her life is easier? Any thoughts?I found out I was having triplets when I went to my obstetrician. The doctor had just finished telling me I was going to have a low-risk pregnancy. She turned on the sonogram machine. There was a long pause, then she said, ''Are you sure you didn't take fertility drugs?'' I said, ''I'm positive.'' Peter and I were very shocked when she said there were three. ''You know, this changes everything,'' she said. ''You'll have to see a specialist.''
My immediate response was, I cannot have triplets. I was not married; I lived in a five-story walk-up in the East Village; I worked freelance; and I would have to go on bed rest in March. I lecture at colleges, and my biggest months are March and April. I would have to give up my main income for the rest of the year. There was a part of me that was sure I could work around that. But it was a matter of, Do I want to?
I looked at Peter and asked the doctor: ''Is it possible to get rid of one of them? Or two of them?'' The obstetrician wasn't an expert in selective reduction, but she knew that with a shot of potassium chloride you could eliminate one or more.
Having felt physically fine up to this point, I got on the subway afterward, and all of a sudden, I felt ill. I didn't want to eat anything. What I was going through seemed like a very unnatural experience. On the subway, Peter asked, ''Shouldn't we consider having triplets?'' And I had this adverse reaction: ''This is why they say it's the woman's choice, because you think I could just carry triplets. That's easy for you to say, but I'd have to give up my life.'' Not only would I have to be on bed rest at 20 weeks, I wouldn't be able to fly after 15. I was already at eight weeks. When I found out about the triplets, I felt like: It's not the back of a pickup at 16, but now I'm going to have to move to Staten Island. I'll never leave my house because I'll have to care for these children. I'll have to start shopping only at Costco and buying big jars of mayonnaise. Even in my moments of thinking about having three, I don't think that deep down I was ever considering it.
posted by Crystal Paine at 6:54 PM
76 Comments:
...I don't even know what to say.
We have five children and each one is an absolute blessing. God tells us that children are a blessing in his Word.
This article saddened me. I feel pity for a women who is so self centered that she cannot see past what would be best for herself instead of what would be best for her children.
~Blessings,
Robin
I hardly know what to say, either. It almost seemed, as I was reading, that it was just made up -too horrible to be true. Too evil for a woman to actually truly feel that way, and coldy kill her own children.
It is a strong reinforcement of the message of Passionate Housewives Desperate for God, which I am currently reading. This is where the "me-ology" takes us, and it is gruesome.
I feel sick, sick, sick about this! What is our responsibility? PRAY! Vote Pro- Life, PRAY more, support pregnancy centers, PRAY again, educate our sons and daughters, PRAY, speak to our pastors imploring them to boldly proclaim the sanctity of life from the pulpit, PRAY, write letters to the editor, and again PRAY falling on our knees humbly before our Creator for His intercession. Yes we must love these women (and men) but be bold in our pro- life stance.
For life,
Carla
I am absolutely speechless.......Kim
...beyond words and christian comprehension.......
....I agree there are no words just terrible heartbreak over these innocent babies. And so very sad for this lady and her boyfriend--they really need Jesus.
Wow. The selfishness in that literally makes me sick to my stomach. I have no idea how to even respond to something this horrendous! But I wonder what type of mother she will be to the remaining "inconvenience(s)" (as she would call them). Poor babies. I cannot even phathom how sad this must make our Father in Heaven.
Sickening. What a selfish and calloused society we live in. As a mother I don't understand how you could see heartbeats and then decide to end little lives. How can you choose the life of one child over another?
I just don't even know where to begin! I can't believe that story was even true . . . that woman could so coldly decide to end the lives of HER CHILDREN and disregard the opinion of the father for PURELY selfish reasons.
This is why I no longer consider myself a feminist. Equal pay for equal work, sure. Voting and property rights, yep. But, the amoral cult of the self at the expense of family and even human life disgusts me to the core of my being. A woman's goals are the most important thing in the world . . and no one had better stand in the way. . . not even an innocent baby.
I don't know how you confront this! When people see the self as the thing of highest value, how can you reason with them?
Here's a link to a blog we've been following since July. This delightful family is adopting this little man, even though he is still in NICU. Baby Isaac was born at TWENTY FOUR WEEKS. His birthmom could have easily aborted him at 24 weeks but instead she chose to give him life. This Michigan family desperately wants to take him home (he's here in Ohio) but his health is so fragile...
http://tiffanyandjason.blogspot.com/
Words can't even describe how sick I felt after reading that article. How could she so callously end two lives? In this case it is so clearly a matter of convenience and selfishness.
But your question is what our response should be. Unfortunately, she did what she did, and we aren't going to get anywhere by condemning her - it's really not ours to judge (and never was). We can only reach out with love and support to women who might be in a similar position. We can earn their trust through love and empathy. We can support organizations that enable women to make the loving decision to bring their children into the world. We can loudly proclaim that we will not stand for the murder of innocent children, while loving the women who know no better.
Love her. Show the world how each and every person is important and valuable. Let's start loving people, in hopes that they'll know Jesus, and then they will understand the value of life, and therefore never even consider this.
I am totally without words. This is beyond horrible. Seriously I could just sit down and cry right now.
Leigh
Wow. This is so heartbreaking. I ache for this woman, her partner, and her three children.
She does not see them as children, but burdens.
"Is it possible to get rid of one of them?" she asks, as if her child is a potentially cancerous mole.
As Christians, let's pray for them all: The surviving boy, that he has a relationship with his Creator, his mother, who sinned (and we are all sinners, like her), and her boyfriend. The twins she killed are with their Heavenly Father, and we can pray for them, too.
This article was published in 2004. We don't know what is happening in this family's life right now.
Our response can only be with love and prayer. We don't agree with this woman's decision; but ultimately, God is in charge, and He has commanded us to love our neighbors.
So we will love her, pray for her and those following her path, that they know God's love and follow the plan that He has created for them.
And what will this woman tell the child she gave birth to? "Oh, yeah, you had two siblings but I decided they were too inconvenient." ???
This is truly disgusting and heartbreaking. I pray that woman will see the need for Christ, and will repent of her sin against God and her children.
I already commented once on this but I wanted to add one more thing! When I was pregnant with my first child, 30 years ago(!) the doctor thought he heard three heartbeats! I was shocked but thrilled! I had a sonogram and I found out, no, I was not having triplets, but one baby! I was still thrilled. We were very "poor" at the time, and we had not planned this pregnancy, but we were so happy and thanked God. The doctor tried to convince us to consider abortion because of our circumstances. We left that doctor's office and never went back. Since that day I choose only to go to pro - life doctors! By the way God met our every need with that pregnancy!
Carla (again)
I will admit, Crystal, that I am at the complete opposite end of the spectrum from you, politically and religiously. However, this article was absolutely upsetting and leaves me disgusted!
This woman CHOSE to go off her birth control! And then she CHOSE to not face the "consequences" of her decision (I don't believe that babies are "consequences", but it feels that this woman does)
I'm so glad to hear that her life is better off now (insert sarcastic tone here).
On a lighter note:
Keep up the great work, Crystal! You are wonderfully well spoken, and I enjoy reading your blog daily. While I'm Jewish, and a bit more towards being a liberal-conservative, I absolutely agree with you that faith and family are most important. We should all strive to be Proverbs 31 women.
~tammy
California
Prayer, prayer, prayer.
Those sweet two babies, oh Lord they were murdered in cold blood. I would have liked to hold them.
How those two sweet precious babies must have suffered, how sad.
Newborns are so sweet and precious.
How.......horrific!!! I cannot think of what else to say besides that.
My response is to shudder in horror and possibly consider that I wish she would have kept taking birth control. I do not really know what we can do to help it, but I think that one thing that huge in promoting pro-life is educating our children and other children if we can when they are younger. I was fairly young when my parents shared with me stuff about this and I can say that being highly informed was something where it was not just something I believed, but something I knew for certain.
This is horrible. I was waiting and hoping that they had changed her mind, but it is disheartening to learn she went with it without regrets. About three months ago my cousin's wife was pregnant with triplets, two boys and a little girl(naturally conceived). She lost one of the little boys 2 weeks after his birth and the other little boy two weeks ago. It makes me sad to think that this lady chose to kill her children while my cousin was looking forward to his triplets, especially those dear boys since they have two precious little girls. The baby girl is fine and will be released shortly, God willing.
It's horrible! Absolutly horrifying! Oh what I would give just to have one single child! And this woman was going to have three!! I just want to know what kind of sick woman it takes to look at her babies beating hearts and decide to get rid of them! We really need to be praying hard for our world! This article makes me want to cry.
Dear Crystal,
Before I became a Christian, I was convinced that children are nothing more than a burden. I was convinced that my life came about out of a big accident called the big bang.
Hence, I was convinced that there is no purpose to living other than to enjoy the brief moment to the fullest.
When I found out I was pregnant at the age of 22, the first thing I did was to terminate my child's life.
God is merciful though. I came to know Jesus at the age of 25 and for the first time, learned that human beings are precious, I am precious, and my child is precious. Frankly, it was only after my conversion that I repented.
You asked how we Christians should respond. I'd say, you should make it clear that abortion is a sin but you should also continue the story - that God cherishes every human being, including the sinning mother.
I think we should pray for the Lord to bless the sinner, go out into the world and demonstrate as much of His love as possible, while standing firm that murder is unacceptable.
I also think we should not be sitting in our homes with folded arms discussing the habits of those who do not know God.
Wow... I am at a loss for words.
Sick.
That sort of thing makes me look to the sky expecting our Holy God to strike in judgement. We must lament over the sin of our culture and pray for God's mercy. That woman and her partner are lost and destined to hell apart from God's grace. Oh that He would give her a heart of flesh in place of that heart of stone. That certainly would be an opportunity for God to recieve glory.
throwing up in horror in AR
In Matthew, it tells us that Jesus saw the crowds and had compassion on them because they needed a shepherd. And while we are to feel incredibly defensive of those beautiful murdered babies and to pronounce that the act was sinful ... we are to also remember that only God has the right to avenge their deaths - and He has offered forgiveness to the mother instead, by avenging their deaths upon Himself. Judgment comes and is deserved for everyone who receives it --- except one - the one who took our punishment. Christ said He came to save - and He will come as the righteous judge at another time. And while we are horrified ... we remember that. The Judge will come later ... but now He has chosen to be loving, kind, patient, gracious, longsuffering so that many may come to repentance, including this mother.
Jesus had compassion on the lost ... enough compassion to stretch out His arms and die for me. And you. And her. And we are to have compassion, too.
That oldish song, "Don't tell them Jesus loves then, 'til you're ready to love them, too."
And to anonymous ... I loved your story and the beauty of Christ saving you as He saved me. We have different stories - but we are both sinners saved by grace and I praise the Lord for that.
There is no place for hiding away and getting angry at sinners for doing what they only know to do - sin. In fact, percentages show that of Bible believing conservative Christians --- only 2% have shared the gospel with someone else.
brooke
I think the way to respond to this is not only to curse the darkness, but also to light a candle. We just found out we are expecting our eighth child. I delight in my children and one of my most enjoyable things is to proclaim my joy to anyone who will listen. When I go the grocery store with my younger five and people say incredulously, "Are these all yours?",my response is to smile and say, "Yes, but they are not all of mine. I have two more at home!" I have even followed that up at times, if I sensed a lot of interest, with pulling out a picture of my family to show them. The world needs to see joyful mothers of many children. They need to see the antithesis of feminism. They need to see children who rise up and call their mothers blessed. As they see this aspect of the gospel lived out, God will stir their hearts and make them ashamed of their sin, and long for righteousness. I have seen it happen! We can change the world just by being faithful where we are.
I love your blog and have been blessed by your example in many ways. Thank you.
That is so sad. How could someone just kill their children? Pray. Pray hard.
CLR: I loved your comment and was hoping to see some like yours! :)
I think that lighting candles by being a joyful mother of children - by showing the world that our children are blessings, not burdens, can go a very long way towards promoting life.
We live in a culture of death. Let us be a bright light by promoting life!
I feel certain that woman will have regrets later on. And of course, it is a crime for a doctor to take life this way!
My mom bled her entire pregnancy with me, if she got up hardly at all. So she basically stayed down in bed. I have read that people who begin as twins (though not knowing it) and the twin is gone, either via death or being adopted elsewhere, etc...leaves one characteristic that has been observed in many. A sense of something missing, of always feeling very alone, of deep melancholy at times, etc. I do wonder about myself...because it has always felt to me that I was missing someone... I would not take that chance of doing that to my child, regardless of how I might feel on the abortion issue. I think there are so many areas that are not considered or thought about at all in this whole mess.
All I know is that my husband and I wish we had not practiced birth control and only had 3 children...now that they are all grown...we SO WISH we had had more. I felt I did not have enough help to cope with all that I had to in our family, but I still feel things would have been better for our youngest one if we had had at least one more.
I'm 14 weeks pregnant right now with our first, and this pregnancy experience has really brought home the horror of abortion. I love my child already, and am so saddened to think that other babies just like mine are being killed daily.
Along these lines, I want to recommend a movie that my husband and I just saw tonight at the theatre...if that's OK! "Bella" has a very strong pro-life, pro-family message, and is a sweet story of redemption. The value of faith in God is implied rather than explicit, but it's there. I highly recommend it, although it's probably not for younger children.
I am shocked! I did not even know that can be done!
Johanna
What a blessing, to naturally concieve 3 at once, and how absolutely sickening to snuff life out like that! The father of the babies is every bit as much to blame. If only he had been a protector, he might have saved his children. But, she was filled up with feminist lies and Planned Parenthood philosophies and he was the typical, emasculated "male partner" that we see everywhere today.
I agree that the "me" philosophy is to blame for the twisted spiral down into abortion. This philosophy is just a cover up for pure selfishness, which is sin. (I got my copy of PHDFG today and have read most of it! It's so good!) Even though her heart seems so hardened, I bet that every pair of twins she sees are a reminder of her loss and though she may appear to be fine now, she is dying inside and filled with more and more self-loathing every day. Our response should be to do everything we can to stop abortion and promote life and do everything we can to love women like this and show them the Way. Without God's grace in our lives you and I would be doing this very same thing!
Promoting counter-cultural books like Passionate Housewives Desperate for God is something small we can do to challenge the women around us to throw off the bondage of feminism (including abortion and other "me" theologies) and embrace a truly-satisfying and God-designed calling! Thank you Crystal for promoting and selling this great book!
This article truly sickened me. There is a very heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach. That a woman, a mother, can look at a sonogram screen and see three beautiful heartbeats and calmly deaden two of them makes me truly think that there is no hope for this world. I don't say that lightly, because as Christians we must always have hope, but I am deeply saddened and disheartened by this article. I guess part of me didn't want to truly believe people do this and it works, especially after the miraculous surivial of the twins you and others blogged about earlier.
One more thing I just thought of...I can't believe she didn't even consider adoption: was her "loss of income" going to be so great and hurt her so much (insert sarcasm) that she couldn't endure the bed rest and delivery just to give a childless couple not one but TWO children? Of course, there's so much wrong with this who situation starting from the fact that she's not married, but I can't believe that pregnancy (I'll even overlook her selfish reasons for not wanting to raise three), less than 40 weeks, would have inconvenienced and "destroyed" her life so much. Two precious souls lost. Culture of death at its worst.
Crystal,
Like another previous poster, I am also on the opposite end of the spectrum as you, religiously and politically. Yet, I cannot help but feel disgusted by this article.
Yes, I am a (moderate) feminist (definitely no bra-burning, anti-marriage ideas here!). Yes, I am pro-choice. Yes, I do think that abortion should be, in the words of Bill Clinton, "safe, legal, and RARE." While I can't dictate the situations in which one would choose an abortion, I would hope that it was situations in which a woman took every precaution possible, yet still ended up with a child that she can't possibly afford (financially and otherwise) to keep.
The woman in this article was NOT in this category, and that is what makes me sick. She purposely tried to conceive a child, and then when she conceived three, she just eliminated 2???? How callous! How irresponsible!! To me, there is a HUGE difference between, "Oh, my gosh, I'm 15 and pregnant; I won't be able to finish my education and support this baby on my own, and I have no help from the father" vs. "Eh, I wanted to get pregnant, but this is a lot more inconvenient than I thought it would be, seeing as how I now have 3 fetuses instead of one. Well, let's just get rid of two of them." I can't even wrap my mind around it!!!
And what does she plan to tell her surviving child about this pregnancy? Heck, with such a callous and selfish worldview, is she even a good mother to him? (And is her boyfriend a good father?) And how DARE she have the audacity to even THINK about getting pregnant again?
But I have to say, I don't think this is a byproduct of feminism. Abortion being legal, perhaps. But her selfish and callous worldview would exist even if abortion was not legal (because some people, feminists and otherwise, can't consider anyone's well being except their own. Let's face it; mindsets like this have existed since the beginning of time, and feminism didn't even emerge until 40 years ago!) So I am certain she would have still found a way to get rid of them. THAT is what is truly sad.
Laying all sadness aside, it is interesting to note that the author of this story is a proponent of third wave feminism -- it is the most deadly wave of feminism to crash yet. However, because third wave feminism is completely postmodern and has no absolutes, we all have a place at this table.
Amanda: I do think that selfishness has been around since the beginning of time, but feminism has promoted it to extremes as a good and healthy thing. The underlying message of modern feminism is "it's all about me."
*I* and *me* come first and foremost in the modern feminist agenda. It's about "I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it and nobody better tell me otherwise."
Modern feminism, at its core, encourages women to put their life, their careers, their comfort, before anyone else's - including any children or husband or home they might have.
This mindset destroys marriages and families and is, as a byproduct, destroying our culture.
This is why I believe modern feminism is so dangerous and why I will continue to passionately write against feminism until I have no breath left in my body.
Instead of the me-first agenda promoted by feminism, following in the steps of the Lord Jesus Christ means we live with the counter-cultural mindset of "my life, for yours."
I believe this article is very telling of where the modern feminist movement and mindset can lead and is leading. Also, take note that the woman in the story is a feminist activist who is going around lecturing at colleges.
I always get chills down my spine when I hear phrases like "get rid of one of them". I am a member of a fertility message board and a woman found out she was pregnant after receiving fertility treatments. There was a very good chance she was carrying multiples. I remember her remarking that "if it's more than 2, I'm reducing". Reducing? She was as flippant about it as if she was deciding to take some things out of her Wal-Mart shopping cart!
Some of you may scratch your head at why this angers me more than the "attempted abortion" post from the other day. It's the motive of the mothers' hearts that seem to be different to me. The one from a few days ago THOUGHT she was doing the right thing by her son (she wasn't but we've already discussed that). This woman, though, wants her life disrupted in the least way possible by a child. It's about what she can no longer do, where she can no longer go, what she can no longer buy. As my heart and soul cries and begs God for a child, in my moments of weak faith...I wonder why these are the women He gives children to. Perhaps to give them a wake-up call to change their selfish ways?
Johanna: I definitely noticed a difference in this mother's attitude. She didn't even seem to think once about anyone but herself.
I am a proud housewife and mother to 2 kids that I thank God for every day. This story is horrifying to say the least. Feminisim be damned! what is wrong with 2 people to be so souless? God does not look the other way on the killing of innocents. When a child is killed, a whole generation dies without a chance.
This "mother" is incredibly immature and selfish. I don't understand how someone can be so cold and calculated. The person I feel the most sorry for is her boyfriend. I can't believe that she told the father of her unborn children that he doesn't have a say in whether they will live or not! Also, I don't care how she says she feels now - she will most likely be haunted by her decision for her entire life.
This really comes down to pure selfishness and I really am sickened by the whole story. As many have commented already, the best thing we can do as Christians is pray and reach out to those who are considering murdering their children via abortion and try to show them the light. Another thing we can do is to nip the self centered attitude in our own children, especially while they are young. so many terrible life choices and sins can be avoided by not serving your own selfishness.
This story made me want to cry and vommit. I feel a little hand tugging on my arm as I write this comment. Children are a blessing. Period. Anyone who feels otherwise and finds themself pregnant should give the baby(S) to a home that would care for them. There are countless qualifited parents who cannot concive on thier own who would love and cherish these blessings. I pray these individuals who commit abortions and help in them find out about Christs redemption before it is too late.
Crystal,
Sadly to say, when someone does not know or believe the truth of God's Word, this is exactly what happens. I went ahead and read the full story, and my husband and I have read this story before. At the end she says that if she were to get pregnant again and have twins she would probably keep both. So, she is up to three children again. The devil is a deceiver and he comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. That is what happens in this Godless society. So in response to this, we cannot change the minds of those considering an abortion if their hearts are not changed first. John 8:32 "And you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." This is our only response to this question. We are to tell others the truth and then they must decide for themselves whether or not to believe. That is the way free choice works. But don't despair, because the Word works and does set people free, we just cannot FORCE it upon them. Speak the truth in love.
Adrienne
I definately agree with anonymous@9:33 and brook. I am disgusted at this woman's selfishness. I am single and have two and they are no where near being a burden. They are my heartbeat, my motivation, my everything.
However to some of the comments made on this blog, I would like to say to you, please be glad that you came to know Jesus Christ from your youth. There are sinners out there who are selfish, but have not been blessed to hear true gospel.
When Jesus defended the adulterous woman I distinctly remember reading " he who is without sin cast the first stone" Sin is sin, there is not one sin that is greater than or less than her sin. Sin is equal. We have to ask God to help us not be judgemental and quickly cast sinners into the gates of hell without first offering prayer for their soul, and hope that they will know God before they leave this earth and go on to judgement.
With lovingkindness have I drawn thee. It is our duty as Christians to go out into the world and draw people to Christ. I don't see how giving up on them and immediatley casting them outside the gates as lepers will benefit me spiritually.
I have prayed and am asking God to help me try to send an email or letter to this person as she is a writer just to offer her words of love and spread the word of God to her. I may or may not work but, I feel that she may be mentally suffering for this act. I am sure that she has a conscience, and we never know how the Holy Spirit may be dealing with her.
Just my thoughts as a reclaimed backslider.... It was the love of those praying for me and the mercy of God that drew me back. Only by his grace and mercy are we talking about her and someone not talking about us.
Pray for her, her son, and the father of these dear children.
Also, we can be comforted to know that these sweet babies are being rocked in the Lord's nursery by our mothers and grandmothers who have passed before us, along with the babes we've delivered straight to Him.
i am so sick that i can't form words.
Another horrific example of the deception of "convenience"... she might have to buy large mayonnaise jars and shop at Cosco and possibly relocate her home were good enough excuses to kill two people...
its mind-boggling and just reminds me of who we can really be without a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ and His Complete Work on the Cross.
I can't even speak right now. I would show this story to my husband, but I don't think he could bear it. We are hoping that one day, God will bless us with even one child - and yet this woman was given three. My heart feels as if it has leapt into my throat.
I pray that our Savior gathered her children to His Almighty heart - and I pray that she and her living child come to know Him.
We cannot judge her, but we can ask the Lord to save her. God have mercy on her . . . God have mercy on us all.
I was about 16 years old when I learned that my father, a few years before he had married my mother, had conceived a child with a woman he was dating at the time. They were both teenagers and they decided to abort the child. My mother told me about this, so I don't know what my father thinks about the choice they made so long ago. I do know that my heart aches for the sibling I will never know on earth. Was the baby a sister or a brother? What would it have been like to know them? How would my life be different?
I do have two brothers, and while I love them and cherish my relationship with them, I still feel an emptiness. Abortion not only hurts the parents of that child, but it hurts everyone who may have known that child. Somewhere, someone's sibling, best friend or future spouse is being murdered in the womb, and that person will suffer the rest of their life without them.
This is a heart wrenching story. I love clr's commment and I feel the same way. Through prayer,and showing other women how much I enjoy my husband and children by example, maybe they will see a side of womanhood they otherwise would not.
On a side note, I also make sure my family knows how much I enjoy them. I breaks my heart to hear mothers say things like "I can't wait until they are grown!" right in front of the children.
The more positive and friendly we are about the blessings of our families, the more other people will be too. Joy is contagious.
Crystal, Terry sent me this article a while ago and I wanted to post it on my blog with some words explaining my own opinion... only I was speechless, I was too sickened to say anything. Thank you for spreading this painful truth.
What an absolutely horrible perspective on what God calls "His heritage!" My heart is so grieved!
To all the ladies who said we must have pity for this woman and not condemn her: if we were talking about a man who decided he didn't want to support three children and killed two of them, would you also say we shouldn't judge him because it's not for us to judge? Do you judge and condemn child rapists and serial murderers? What this woman did is murder plain and simple. We should pray for her that she repents and becomes Christian but it doesn't mean "not judging her", imo.
Crystal, the problem here is not cultural feminism in its proper sense, since this mother may have indiscriminately violated the right to life of a woman when she aborted her children; the problem is murder and infanticide.
What do we do about murders? We prevent them. Christian families who are passionate about preventing abortions can do something very real. They can plant themselves outside of Planned Parenthood clinics and volunteer to adopt the children of every mother who would enter it. They can take those mothers who are needy and unmarried into their homes and provide for them as they carry their children to term. We can be radical.
...Why are we *not* taking such action? Is it because *we* are selfish?
I read that first part with my mouth hanging open. I'm so oblivious to how the world things. Oh me...
MM: It *is* feminism that says a woman has a right to do what she wants with her body without regard for the life of the child inside her. We cannot get around that.
But it goes even deeper than that, it speaks volumes of a culture who doesn't respect life, a culture who doesn't understand that we were created in the image of God from the moment of conception.
I think one of the most powerful things we, as Christians, can do to influence the culture is to selflessly give of ourselves to train and raise the next generation up with a respect for life and with an understanding of Whose we are and in Whose image we were made.
As moms, as we go about our everyday task of loving our little ones and nurturing them in the admonition of the Lord, we are lighting candles which will shine forth as bright lights in this sin-darkened world.
At the same time, we need to be reaching out to these moms who have no hope and no help... showing them Christ's love and forgiveness. Meeting their practical needs and giving of ourselves to point them to the Creator of life, in Whose image they and their precious babes were made. I would, in a heartbeat, adopt any child whose mother was planning to abort. Maybe someday I'll even start some organization to that effect.
For now, I'm loving on my own babies and raising them up to live for something greater than themselves.
I read this article when it was first published and was sickened by the writer's callousness and her consumerist identity. My heart went out to her murdered little ones and to their brother, who will someday have to face the reality that his mother made the decision to risk his life and deliberately end those of his siblings and womb-mates.
How it must hurt this woman to not know God and when faced with what would seem to any one of us to be a clear message from Him ("Your life as YOU planned it is about to change- welcome to like in MY Plan") and receive it with contempt in place of submission! To KILL in order to preserve one's destructive illusion of self! It's an ugly wake-up call to realize that this is the society all around us, indeed even within our own communities.
I agree with Carla that the only and best response is to pray, pray, pray and do what we can to speak out for life.
This sparked a long comment so I decided to make it a post.
http://erincraig.wordpress.com/2007/11/06/a-comment/
So sad.
Amanda:
Unfortunately in our society, and everywhere else abortion is made legal, two things happen. One is, the rates go up, not down. The other thing is, the amount of unsafe abortions remains the same. I'm all for making all medical procedures as safe as possible, but in this case, the legalization of abortion has not led it to be safe. Just wasn't sure if you were aware of that. :)
Secondly, I understand the heartache that comes with an unwanted pregnancy. I've worked very closely with the prolife movement since I was literally a child myself. And something that boggles my mind is more people don't consider a third, better option: Adoption!
Abortion, even "safe" and legal, is still a risky procedure. It's not like having a mole removed. There are interplays between hormones and any sort of uterine procedure we are just now beginning to understand. If a woman cannot care for a child, rather than risking her life and ending her child's, it is far better to give the child up to a loving home able to provide for that child! Believe me when I say there are more homes than there are children! I know so many women who cannot have children of their own and ache to love a child. How sad that someone destroys a life instead of offering it to someone who could give it abundant life.
In other words, I certainly don't believe that abortion is the answer to an unwanted pregnancy. It is not a fix-all solution. Aside from the havoc it can and often does (even if imperceptibly) wreak on a woman's body, there are often grave psychological consequences as well. I've heard people say that they just "couldn't" give their baby up because they'd always "wonder." But instead of wondering HOW they are doing, the mothers end up wondering what their children WOULD be doing, and whether they were a boy or girl, and what they would have looked like. At least with adoption you get the small mercy of knowing your child's face and gender.
So I would encourage you to ponder that. :)
In response to those who voiced concerns on having pity for the mother, and also for others who have abortions, I do agree that we need to show Christ's love and that if they truly repent they can be forgiven by the Lord. However, I don't think it is judging to say that having an abortion is wrong. If this particular woman in this article had actually given birth to three babies, then decided being a mom cramped her style too much and she murdered them in cold blood, well you can just imagine that the world would regard it much differently simply because they had lived outside of the womb. Murder is murder.
Crystal
I know that you don't like heated discussion on your blog but my heart is so heavey and I want to leave another comment. There was an anoymnous post asking what we would do if it were a man who murdered and so forth. I simply say.... We forgive! Mark 11:26
But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”
I try my best not to always speak from my feelings because there is that chance of speaking in my flesh, So I try to support everything Isay with Scripture, rightly divided. Scripture tells us plainly in Luke 6:37
Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven.
This is so important for us to remember daily!!
Matthew 12:36
But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
So in this respect I try to live my life with compassion. I know the ugliness of sin. I am so happy to be delivered that I don't want to forget what I was delivered from. That is why I speak with compassion and in Scripture. I feel so badly for this woman and her frame of mind. I feel badly for the father who didn't speak up and stand his ground. He could have taken her to court, that would have at least lasted long enough for her to have the babies and he take custody. I feel sorry for every woman who goes and commits this terrible sin, but at the end of the day, our Heavanly father forgives murders. Let us not remember the two men who hung on the cross beside Jesus and which one of them is sitting in Glory with him.
Have a blessed day and thank you for this forum. I will be sure to post a link on my blog.
SingleMom: I agree that we should have compassion and that this woman does not know Christ so what more can we expect. At the same time, though, as Christians we should speak out against the evils of abortion. We cannot sit blindly by, we cannot turn the other way, we must stand for truth and right. We must not back down.
"Evil prevails when good men [and women] do nothing."
Crystal, I agree that we have to speak out and say that abortion is wrong and this woman made the wrong decision.
BUT, and I say this having read this post yesterday initially and prayed ALL DAY about this, I do think some comments betray a lack of love for this person. She is a fellow sinner - although none of us have ever dreamed of committing such a grievous sin, we are all of us as tainted and tarnished by sin as she is.
The Lord has directed my prayers all day to John 8. Another woman, another grievous sin against God and against another person. And what did our Lord do? He did not shout her story to the world, seeking to shame and punish her. He LOVED her, and he FORGAVE her - and he taught us that when we see someone sinning, we should use it as an opportunity to examine our own hearts.
I know that just today I have not exhibited Christlike behavior to my husband and my babies. I am as guilty as this poor woman is.
By all means, we need to condemn abortion. But we do NOT need to condemn this woman. That is NOT our job. Matthew 7:1! We must copy Christ and love, love, love her.
I think that the way we fight the culture here is to show love to multiple children, love to pregnant ladies, and love to mothers. We need to show our anger towards companies that discourage pregnancy - a company that doesn't give generous leave to a mother of multiples is encouraging abortion! THESE should be the targets of our action. But, like Christ showed us in John 8, we must resist the urge to loose our anger and frustration on this one sinner. For we are, all of us, no better. We are all tainted by sin, and only His Love can wash us clean.
Two things come to my mind...
Jesus said when you did it to the least of them, you did it unto ME,
and but by the grace of God it could be anyone of us.
How sad... and one more thing...I think of the many women and men who wish they could have a baby, but for some reason they are not able to bear children. How could she not put them up for adoption?
evil sure has become so sophisticated today hasn't it?
Let's pray for her and the people that read the article, that God will begin to soften those dark and hardened hearts .
God bless,
Elaine
Claire: I agree, however, I think we need to be careful that we don't swing the pendulum too far to the side of compassion that we are afraid to call sin for what it is.
Abortion is wrong. What this woman did was wrong.
I'm not saying you are not saying this, but I have seen many so-called Christians become so afraid of offending anyone that they wouldn't stand up for what was right or call sin for what it is.
I'm always cautious about posting things like this because I don't want us to just be sitting here smugly condemning other sinners for sinning. Not only are we then sinning ourselves but that doesn't accomplish anything.
However, I posted this particular article because it was so telling of where the feminist "me-ology" will lead - to where women make decisions based upon nothing but their own personal satisfaction and fulfillment and comfort. And I think that Christians need to realize how dangerous feminism is.
But we always need to remember, as you said, to speak the truth in love and to not just curse the darkness, but to seek to be lighting candles. A positive, wholesome example of being a loving mother to our children is one of the most powerful things we can do.
I agree that those who are mothers should take joy in their children and let the world see that. We, as a society, just don't respect children and treat them as gifts anymore. This is evident in everything from abortion right down to my BIL and SIL who joke about how they use to be able to do so much (everything from taking a shower to climbing Mt. Everest, to hear them tell it) before they had children. Not only is this insulting to me as we are struggling with infertility, it's implied that children are some great burden to bear, rather than the gifts and blessings they are.
I totally see the point about loving this woman and forgiving her and all that. God did command us to pray for our enemies! And we should, much as we show compassion and mercy to everyone. Because certainly, saved or unsaved, EVERYONE will have to give an accounting to the Lord of their lives. I would not want to be her. Nor would I want to be her and live the rest of her life. God is compassionate, but He is just. And He doesn't just take a magic eraser to the consequences of our actions, whether they are "forgiven" or not.
For example, let's say a non-Christian man engaged in drug abuse. Let's say he came to the Lord, and the Lord delivered him of the addiction. And of course, forgave him of all his sins past and present. Unfortunately, a commutation of eternal responsibility is not always a commutation of earthly responsibility. Although God can and does heal our every disease and ailment, sometimes He chooses to allow us to continue to experience negative consequences of past lifestyles.
Perhaps a better and more relevant example of this would be an unwed mother conceiving a child, whether she was Christian or not at the time of conception. I'm sure we can all agree that God can and does forgive and restore her, and that our job as a Christian community is to embrace her and the child. But that child is a consequence that doesn't magically disappear once she is forgiven.
Which leads me to the point...I find it poor logic and poor theology to say that we should ONLY love and forgive and not EVER hold people accountable for their actions (as in the examples provided for the murdering man or the woman who would murder her children postnatally). Ted Bundy is another excellent example of this. He actually accepted Christ prior to being executed. He murdered so many women. Yet God extended his grace, and we must also extend our forgiveness. It does not mean he is excused. And summarily, he was still executed.
It is a pet peeve of mine that people bandy about the verse where we are told not to judge as if that is the whole of the verse and what it truly means. The rest of the verse and the context of the verse lends a different meaning entirely. It is not commanding us never to show judgement or hold people accountable for their actions, but not to hold people accountable for an action that you yourself are not prepared to be judged for. It's speaking of hypocrisy, it's not a blanket excuse for people to cower away from confronting sin and evil. Later we are told TO judge. God put governments and people in place to mete out earthly judgement; it is not reserved only for the end of the ages.
Also, while it is true Jesus showed great mercy and compassion to the woman mentioned in several of the comments here and to others as well (Zaccheus comes to mind), that is not the ONLY way He dealt with them. I don't think that one example was meant to be the archetype by which we treat ALL sinners and evildoers. Jesus is kind and compassionate, but He is also just and holy. He confronted evil and sinners with force as well, whether they should have known better than what they were doing (like the pharisees) or whether they were ignorant (like the tax collectors in the temple).
Paul commanded the expulsion of the immoral brother, but that he be welcomed back after it was clear there was true repentance.
Which leads me to my ultimate point. What that woman did (and many other women did and do and will do) was murder. It deserves more of a response than a pat-pat, oh haha, it's ok we forgive you. And we do have systems, people, and processes in place to handle this. But unfortunately, her brand of murder is currently legal. So while Andrea Yates is behind bars for drowning her children, and rightly so, that woman will go free.
That is not godly justice. And the Bible commands us to "speak for those who are voiceless". If we do nothing, we are just as guilty in God's eyes as the people actually committing the crime. Since our legal system has refused to deal with it, we need to change that in the legal system.
Just to be clear, I am totally NOT advocating vigilante justice. Not at all. I'm not saying we need to be angry with this person and break out the tar and pitchforks. There are proper channels to get this kind of behavior addressed, and I think we need to, as a country, put those channels in place.
At the same time, we DO need to PRAY PRAY PRAY. Pray for her, pray for the country, the mindset of women. We need to be that candle in the darkness offering hope and something better. We should support efforts to educate women about sex and pregnancy and abstinence. We should support our local Crisis Pregnancy Center. We should encourage the adoptive process. I see the only way to deal with this is to embrace and love the women on all sides of the issue with one arm and command that our nation stand up and call it what it is on the other. If we can learn anything about the nature of God and life, it is that mercy and justice are not mutually exclusive.
That's the most barbaric and selfish thing I've ever heard. I can understand being freaked out upon hearing you're pregnant w/triplets, but come on! Why couldn't she put the other two up for adoption if she was really didn't want them? She was going to be pregnant anyway. How can you stand to hear a doctor tell you he's going to inject poison into your baby's heart? Then to let him do it? I can't believe this is legal. I kept thinking that in the end, she would've changed her mind.
Yes, we need to pray for all women who are contemplating abortion that their hearts will be changed, and also for those who do go through with it, that they will repent and come to the Lord. Murder is wrong and it's not judgemental to say so. In this particular story, I found it interesting how this woman brought up pro-choice rights...yes, she has the right to make choices--namely she didn't have to have sex. Once that was done and she was pregnant the babies right to LIFE should have superceded her "rights". I'm sorry to sound harsh, but I am so tired of Christians being afraid to say what is truth.
Crystal,
I stand corrected in love:)
I agree wholeheartedly with you. I should have pointed that out more in my resposne. You are correct. Sin is sin and we have to take a firm stand and rebuke against it. We can't be ashamed to denounce it. I guess when I read a couple of responses in which bloggers sentenced her straight to hell I wanted to remind us all that we have to stand against her sin, put bible judgement on her, but still love her the same and endeavor to lead her and others in her situation to Christ. Thank you for pointing that out!
Yes, I have thoughts. It stinks, that's what. It's beyond selfish.
Brenda
How sad. I mean really sad. One person wondered if this was made up, but I am sure that it wasn't. People really do feel this way. When I was in high school I thought this way, too, and so did my friends. Those babies weren't babies. They were just "things" until they grew big enough to really look and act like babies. Well, I have changed my view on all this dramatically. How wrong I was. How wrong the author of this is. I know back when I felt this way, I didn't think people had any value unless they achieved great things. I didn't have any value unless I did something great. I was miserable. It is a miserable existence when your value is always on the line, when you always have to do more and be more or you are not worthy of the skin God gave you. Thank the Lord for sending Jesus. Thank God for being God, a great God, a loving wonderful and good God. The only God. Thank you God for loving life, including mine, and being willing to die to show our worth... worth that doesn't have to be earned, but that just IS. Thank you. Please open that woman's eyes and her heart to feel that. To know that. Amen, Father.
The only way to confront it is to speak out. Abortion is a sin. This falls on deaf ears for non-believers who are not God fearing, so working to make abortion illegal is a worthy goal.
Thanks for speaking out Crystal. :)
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