Finding Time: Part 4 - Eliminating the unimportant
In this Finding Time series, we're going to be moving into talking about developing a routine/schedule soon, but before we do that, we need to first examine what should be on our schedule in the first place. There is nothing which hampers efficiency more than a life cluttered up with unimportant things.One of my favorite books on time management is the simple little volume by the Girl-Talk bloggers called, Shopping for Time. They make a great case for getting the best "bargain" with our limited time resources by learning to properly evaluate our choices in light of a Biblical framework. They encourage Christian women to:
When we say "yes" to one thing, we are also saying "no" to something else. I purposed when I was 12 years old to wrap my life around things which would count for Eternity. Though sadly, I sometimes lose sight of this goal, the Lord often reminds me of it and I, once again, re-evaluate what I am doing in light of Eternity.Begin by listing your priorities. Here's Mom's list:
-Grow in godliness.
-Love my family.
-Serve in the church.
-Fellowship with Christians.
-Evangelize non-Christians.
-Attend to my work.
-Care for my physical health.Although your list may look slightly different, it's important that your priorities come from God's Word and not culture or personal preferences. We should all have similar priorities stemming from our identity as Christian women, even though we may use other words or categories to describe them.
Once you've listed your priorities...evaluate yourself, prayerfully going through the priorities one at a time. Under each category, assess how you are doing--what is going well and what needs to change. Then consider how you can grow in that key area in your life.
Two questions which help eliminate much of the stuff that can clutter up life are:
1) Does this glorify the Lord and honor my husband (if you are married)?
2) Will this matter in Eternity?
If the answer is "yes" to both of those questions, then I need to evaluate it in light of the order of importance.
My priorities at this season of my life as a child of God, wife, mother, and homemaker, are, in order:
1) My relationship to the Lord.
2) My relationship with my husband.
3) My responsibility to train, raise, and nurture the children the Lord has blessed us with.
4) My role as keeper and guardian of our home.
5) Everything else: Fellowship with and ministry to other Christians in our church and community, reaching out to the lost, physical fitness, etc.
I highly encourage you to take time today to list your priorities for the season of life you are in order of importance and then evaluate every opportunity in light of those. You will probably quickly find there are a whole lot of things you can eliminate--things which might be good things, things which might be great things for others to do, but things which, for you, will only distract you from the best things.
To be continued...
Labels: Finding Time
posted by Crystal Paine at 5:00 PM
13 Comments:
Thank you for this series of posts. I feel like I have gotten off track recently and I really needed this reminder to rethink my priorities. BTW, I loved Shopping for Time! I think I may need to read it again.
Thanks for this reminder. I think I'm going to POST my priorities for awhile on the fridge, as I feel I need to be reminded this week. We've been very busy, but busy with one too many things that don't matter as much as an evening spent together at home.
Phebe
(Glad to see your site is back up; it appeared to have been hacked or something...)
I just wanted to say I've appreciated the encouraging challenges that come from your website, even though I don't always post comments.
One of my struggles is managing computer time--especially reading Christian blogs, as well as keeping mine updated! Do you differentiate the computer time that you spend doing your blog or reading other websites with the time you might spend "for your household" (shopping/coupons online or online banking and bill paying)? All in all, the TIME adds up! Designated days? Designated times of the day?
Merrilee
AWESOME post, Crystal. Your priority requirements that center around giving glory to the Lord are fantastic. I really look forward to more on this series.
Also, I wanted to let you know how blessed I felt to see you talk in previous posts about why things work for your family and how the point of this series isn't to tell people what to do rather than to inspire them to create a time management plan that works for them. Sometimes I try to fit very unconventional parts of my day or routines that we have (co-sleeping for example) into a "typical" plan but it doesn't work. I have no one to answer to but our Eternal Father, and he couldn't care less about the "small stuff" and how it fits into anyone's plans but His.
Thanks, again!
I think that the really tricky part for Christian women is the balancing act of all the "important" things once we have eliminated the "unimportant". So many activities seem valuable and Biblical and fit into our category of "glorifying God" (Bible study groups, teaching VBS, volunteering in the food pantry...), but if they take us away from a higher priority, that is, our husband, our children, and especially the Lord, then we're missing something. I've had to really evaluate carefully all my "extras" and have let go of many really wonderful things - teaching Sunday school, MOPS, Moms In Touch - so as to focus more fully on the Lord and on the family He has blessed me with. And it's tempting to look at other moms and think, "If she can do all that she does and still rasie that great family and look lovely and keep that beautiful home, why can't I?".
I think this was a great post. I would like to suggest, for married women, in regard to caring for ourselves that it not be way down on the list. I am not referring to going for massage, pedicures, or extreme self interest etc. but to the nourishing and up keep of our bodies and appearances as part of our devotion to our husbands. I really think that's one thing that matters a lot to them.
This is an interesting and timely post for me because my home life (4kids and one on the way) is bumping up against some pressures from our church and I am trying to find the way to make adjustments. I have recently come to realize that there's no way I can be all things to all people and my family must take priority. Thanks for the reminder!
Rebecca: I would agree and I would put "taking some time to look nice" right up there along with priority number 2 as my husband truly appreciates when I take a little time to look nice for him.
I also have found that when I start the day off getting dressed to my shoes (including make-up, earrings, hair, etc.) that I am a lot more productive. I don't know what it is, but when I stay in my PJs till noon (which happens around here sometimes when I'm sick or the girls are sick or I got up late and had lots of interruptions, etc.), I just do not get very much done.
I was married for five years before children came. When we were blessed with children my priorities REALLY had to change.
I literally would ask myself the question, "What should get priority?" I prayed and discussed things with my husband.
I purposed in my heart priorities that I was going to make and stick with. I've had many comments made to me, about us, or to my husband [they weren't mean] because of those decisions I made.
It also helps to remember that I will only have about 20 years with my children. I want to use that time wisely.
All that said, I still needed the reminder. This is a good post and an encouragement. Thank you.
Thanks for these posts. I needed the reminder to keep things prioritized. It is so easy to get tangled up in the everyday tasks and interuptions of life that before long we look around and see we are far the the priorities that God would have for us.
I think spending time with Him in the morning really helps me keep focused on what is important.
You have such great ideas. You inspire me to be a better woman of God.
Jendi,
I hope you don't think I'm being morbid by saying this, but you aren't guaranteed to have 20 years with those precious children! All the more reason to choose those priorities well. Tomorrow is promised to none of us!
Merrilee
We had a speaker who was talking to moms about priorities and she said something that struck me about making things that really matter to you in life, what you do.
For me it may be different than for you, but for me it is more important to go and help someone than to go to church sometimes, although I usually go every Sunday still, but sometimes I do not as radical of a statement that is!
She gave us a target to fill out of what you want your children to know and learn before they leave home. I have been working on that and it is so relaxing for me. The outside activities we do, we do together and sometimes we do not get laundry done, sometimes we go to the library instead. Sometimes we visit with friends instead of cleaning the bathroom, because the bathroom will still be messy tomorrow, sometimes even if I clean it today, but my friends and family may not be. I lost my grandma this last year and it makes me realize how precious and short our time is that we have here with one another, and the things, the house, the food etc. will not go with us to heaven.
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