Beginning afresh
I had the privilege of attending the MPE homeschool conference this weekend and what a blessing it was! I've been to numerous homeschool conferences before but this one was one of the most encouraging that I've attended in a long time.As Kathrynne is nearing school age, I've been feeling more and more pressure to do more academics with her. This pressure was completely self-imposed but it was there nonetheless.
I went to the conference feeling somewhat burdened down by my need to figure out more clearly what curriculum and books I should be doing with Kathrynne and what direction we should be taking. It was overwhelming but I was determined to try and make some headway.
The first session by Voddie Baucham completely knocked me off my feet and out of my little self-imposed guilt-trip.Why was I so concerned and uptight about academics? Yes, I want my daughters to have a high-quality education but are academics really what is most important to me? Shouldn't my focus instead be on instilling in my girls a heart for the Lord and training and discipling them in the ways of the Lord?
Here I was stressing over what math book Kathrynne should be doing when and how fast she should be progressing and I was completely overlooking the big picture of what home education is supposed to be all about--that of raising up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord to send them out as mighty warriors to impact this culture for the glory of God!
As I continued to listen to the sessions by Dr. Baucham, I was so encouraged and relieved; I don't have to try and do it all, I don't have to stress over curriculum and textbooks like this, my primary focus should instead be on loving the Lord, loving my family, discipling my daughters, and setting a Godly example before them.
I was struck with how misplaced my priorities have been. Instead of just loving and enjoying my girls, I've been worrying about academics and progress in the world's eyes. What does it matter what the world thinks of our family? If God is pleased, that's all that matters.And so I begin this mothering and home-educating thing anew. Bring on the story books, the wagon rides, the ant-watching, and the beater-licking! There will be time enough in the future to cover textbooks and workbooks, today we're just going to enjoy learning from life together.
Related: Kendra's post on Beginning a Classical Education here was very encouraging to me as I seek to refocus my priorities.
Labels: Homeschooling, Mothering
posted by Crystal Paine at 2:51 AM
33 Comments:
My oldest daughter is 4.5y and would have missed the cut-off date for kindergarten, had she been going. We haven't really started anything "academic" except for recitation of ABCs and numbers, along with counting. Sometimes I feel BIG pressure that I'm not doing enough. Church kids just a bit older than she (going to all day kindergarten next year and having been in preschool for 2 years)can write their names, know all the letters and numbers by recognition, know all about opposites, and on, and on, and on.
BUT...How many of them know all the words to "Trust and Obey"? How many get to play outside on a beautiful spring day...sit in the yard and pick flowers....go with Mom to get groceries....learn to sew and cook with Mom...and on, and on, and on.
I'm figuring that there will be time for academics. It's really hard when you're trying to justify to the "world" why you're homeschooling, yet it seems like you aren't keeping up with the public schools. Sometimes it makes me feel lazy for awhile--like I'm not doing enough, if anything. Then I go back to "Trust and Obey".
What I'm trying to say is that I know exactly what you're talking about. It's a hard place to be sometimes. When I start to feel that way, I also think that my focus is off and try to re-adjust.
In the meantime, I'm trying to let them color, sing, play, run, and experience just for the joy of it.
Blessings--
Dana
Crystal,
I am so happy that you were able to attend the conference and to realize what's most important. When I began home schooling, I, too, was eager to start on the "right curriculum" and to push my first child ahead. I believe our culture creeps in and tries to take over and sometimes we let it. The very reason we are home schooling is because the Lord instructed us to be responsible for our children's training, not the public schools, not the church, but us! Yes, we all want our children to have a good education, but first and foremost, we want them to love the Lord their God. And, let's face it, even when we aren't formally teaching them, they are learning. Just send them outside and they come back in with all sorts of knowledge about our world and about their Creator. My children learned so much just from bringing in a caterpillar and watching him spin his cocoon. They were able to watch him turn into a butterfly. I wouldn't trade that day for even a week of the public school system. I went too long, but this subject is so very dear to my heart. Keep loving those little ones and have fun! You'll have time for curriculum one day.
Crystal, that's awesome! We heard Dr. Bauchum (sp?) last year at our homeschool convention in IL and it was such a blessing! A friend of mine commented on why she didn't homeschool: I want to be more concerned about their righteousness than their academic skills. As a homeschooling mom of three years, that really sticks in my mind...that I do need to focus on the spiritual and the academic is secondary. I love the pics of the baby licking the frosting off or whatever it is, too cute!!
Thank you thank you thank you! You are so right and I needed to hear this again. I tell myself this but as you said it doesn't quite make it to the heart very often. Shelby & I took some time to smell the roses today and it was fun. Let's hope we can keep it up again tomorrow and the day after and the month after etc.
Thank you for this post! This, too, is encouraging to me as I am beginning the homeschool journey with my daughter.
Great post! I remember back when my oldest was three, just like Kathrynn, and I just wanted to get started. I dismissed the advice of older moms to "play it cool." (I think I had something to prove to myself and the world.)
Over time, I've taken the approach that enrichment and exploration in the preschool years are exactly what the dr. ordered. To instill a love for reading and encourage curiosity in nature and how God works things has so benefitted our family.
Now we've got 5th, 2nd, and K, as well as a couple preschoolers. And our academics are definitely on track. My 2nd grader recently "taught" my husband about tridents and Poseidon. Our "littles" all ask great questions about the stuff in their world. And we get story books for their age that fit the time in history that their older brothers are studying. They are definitely "learning," but it is so natural and relaxing.
You're on the right track!
I, too, worried about 'progress'. We decided to have FUN and SILLINESS instead. We have robins to spot, nests to locate, music to sing, bikes to ride, slides to slide and sand to play in/drag into my house. Everywhere we go, people comment on how HAPPY our boys are; I think it's because we are happy with them! (they are not perfect... don't get me wrong). Bring on the Captain Underpants books! Life is too short to be tooooooooooo serious :-)
Katie
Good Morning Crystal!
I'm glad you had such a refreshing weekend! Many, many times ( I dare not count) over the past 10 years I have gotten caught up in "what they are supposed to learn" and put to the side what the Lord would have my sweet girls learn. But praise Him becuase He has never forgotten me and always given me something to draw us back to Him; whether it be my husband, a like minded friend, a time of tribulation where I would need to give up the course we had chosen,a tape or book to get me back on "track". I will say it can be very difficult even in homeschool circles not to look to the right or the left! As we enter these last academic years with our oldest we are really starting to see the pressure that fiends, family and society are placing on "making the grade". Not actually enjoying and understanding what we are learning! It's about college entrance with almost everyone we know at this point, and again we are considered a bit crazy! (We don't believe everyone is intended or needs to go to college.)
Anyway, I'm getting off track... I just wanted to encourage you to enjoy where your little girls are! There will be time enough for academics. I'll always cherish our rock family tree, milk bottle space shuttles, Ping the duck and our homemade chinese resturant night!
Thanks for the words about the website/blog, they do help, but also a little intimidating. Never-th-less, I began homeschooling our daughters six years ago. I am a public school teacher by trade, gone homeschool. When I "came home" I set up the classroom; alphabet strip, chalkboard, and 'centers' just like I had known to do. It wasn't long before the Lord really spoke to me. He said, I appreciate what you're doing, but what does this teach them about ME? It was a gradual change,but today is totally different. We still have our studies, but NOTHING like they were. I would encourage you to go visit www.oldfashionededucation.com
we have used this 'type' of curriculum before with much success. It's all fun with reading and all about our Lord.
Don't worry about your daughter's "education" right now. I waited until our second daughter was [almost] six before we started "formal schooling" and she is very wise beyond her years. Putting pencil in hand with high expectations for their progress will only be discouraging to them, and frustrating to mom.
I think your new outlook is GREAT! If she enjoys doing it; do it! Spend time enjoying them - they grow-up so fast! My oldest turned 13 just recently, and I can still remember the days of her sitting on the floor with beaters in hand; she still likes the beaters, just doesn't sit on the floor =)
Amen!!
I think that Dr. Baucham was one of the most encouraging speakers we've ever heard at a homeschool conference. Texas is looking better all the time. :)
Melanie B.
Hi Crystal! So many of us have been there too...this is our 5th year of homeschooling, and I still deal with this occasionally. But it is SO worth it! The academics will work themselves out in their own time.
It helps me to keep quotes and verses on index cards around the house to get my mind back where I need to be, especially when I'm struggling with keeping "first things first."
It was amazing to me just how much academics my son learned just by playing and reading story books for preschool and kindergarten. We read from the Bible and memorized Bible verses. We counted hotwheel cars, sorted legos by color, found the alphabet on signs in the stores, sang songs etc. We also worked on the household and personal basics like getting dressed and making the bed. It truly prepared us for when we "officially" started to homeschool for first grade and I hope it made good memories. :) Ann'Re
I really appreciate your post because I've been feeling the same way, wondering if my daughter will be "behind" since all of her playmates are in or will be going to preschool this fall. It's a good reminder to me that learning about God and being with their mom is what is important! I look at everything you do with Kathyrnne and thought that I needed to be doing all those things with my daughter too. However, it didn't work out so well! My daughter isn't interested in tracing letters at all! I had to step back and realize that all kids are different and mine isn't ready for "school work." She loves crafts, art, and memorization right now so each day we do Bible reading/the 21 Rules of this house coloring pages, and do songs, a craft, and work on her book of Questions and Answers (catechism). That seems to be plenty for her at this point. There will be plenty of years for academics later!
Thanks again for being so honest and open here.
Crystal:
Thank you for sharing your experience with us! With John's first birthday coming up, I admit I have been very concerned about curriculum and what I need to be doing with him to "give him an edge". I realize that is the world's pressure, and that giving him a heart for the Lord is more important than any curriculum. So glad to hear others have had the same thoughts!
I loved your blog post. It is so true. We love story books too. I don't know if you've ever heard of Before Five in a Row. It's a wonderful manual with children's books and gives you fun ideas to do with your dc that go along with the books. In the back is a ton of just fun ideas that all children should participate in. I loove this book. It's for ages 2-4 and it's not meant to be a curriculum at all. Here's a link. http://fiveinarow.com/B4FIVEINAROW.html There's also a wonderful article here written by the woman who wrote Before Five in a Row. The title is "First Things First Suggestions For Working With Preschoolers" It is not schooly at all. Here's the link for that. http://fiveinarow.com/ARTICLES/firstthings.html
Edwena
I love this post! We are venturing into homeschooling with our daughter, who is 3. I have not been stressed at all about curriculum and textbooks, and this makes me feel good about it! We do all of the things that you mentioned, like watching the ants mill around in the backyard. And those are some of my favorite moments with my daughter!
Is there a link to listen to the teaching? I would love to hear it.
Crytal, and all homeschooling moms,
I think you are very right not to sweat it. My homeschooling parents did not begin formal education for me - other than teaching me to read and reading to me- until I was twelve. As of today, I've earned my JD and masters degrees, and I'm finishing my PhD. Granted, my parents joke that I've made up for lost time in school, but really nothing was lost in those early textbook-free years.
I will add that when I homeschool my own children someday, I will know what to anticipate realistically, however. Years spent without structured academics tend to nurture a vivid imagination, creativity, and expressive skills. On the other hand, time management, and the measurement skills involved in math, music and science do seem to require formal instruction earlier on.
"I don't have to stress over curriculum and textbooks like this, my primary focus should instead be on loving the Lord, loving my family, discipling my daughters, and setting a Godly example before them."~ Ah! You spoke my heart and the hearts of many of us! It's in there, but it's so easy to crowd it out with the voices of others or our own competing worries and doubts. But it's a new heart and heart God has given us to train our children in Him- that's the foundation and the source out of which everything else springs out.
I'm so glad you shared this post!
My husband just gave me the ok the other day and so I'm "officially" taking the trek into homeschooling (learningaswegohomeschool.blogspot.com). I'm so excited I could easily go off running with it in a direction God does not desire for me our the sons He's given me.
I start a blog called Timothy Moms (timothymoms.blogspot.com) with the focus being discipling our children- teaching the scriptures to them and being a good model of Christ before them. This is really where the desire to homeschool was birthed.
God is leading me to simply take every oppurtunity I'm given to teach my sons of Him and His ways.
I'm so thankful for your blog and others that remind my of the ministry God has given me to serve Him as a wife/mom/homemaker and teacher of my children!
Bless you!
Sheila
Crystal, thanks for the link on Dr.Bauchum you posted earlier this week. I listened the the message you mentioned and to the one on headship and found them both eye-opening and encouraging.
If you have any links to the messages you heard this weekend, let us know!
Phebe
P.S. I see Dave Ramsey will be in Kansas City this coming weekend (or next?). Will you be attending that too? If so, let us know how it goes!
Such wisdom, Crystal!
I, too, have struggled with that pressure, self-imposed and otherwise. It can be difficult when not only are we surrounded by that "strive-for-academic-prowess" mindset in others around us, but we also remember what we knew of our own upbringing. Many things can affect us in this way.
It seems that quite a few people have wondered why we have been so "slow" in doing our academic work here. I write that, and my oldest is still only 6 1/2. It has been so helpful for my to seek the Lord's guidance and ask Him to give me peace in my heart, resting in knowing that we are doing what HE wants us to do, not what anyone else wants us to do. After all, He is the one who has entrusted these dear children to us, isn't He?! This, and seeking my husband's guidance have made all the difference for my "people-pleasing" personality.
And guess what? The more we relax, live life, focus on spiritual things and less on academic...the more we enjoy each other, and the more we learn. HOMEschooling, rather than homeSCHOOLING is key, isn't it? Praise God, that His grace is enough to cover alll of these things...when we struggle, when we "mess up," and even when we are getting it "right." We are always dependent on His grace for each moment!
Many blessings to you and your family as you educate your sweet daughters for His glory!
What a little doll! cute pictures. I've noticed that my youngest lets Me know when SHE's ready, and she's doing great. It's so easy to stress ourselves out but I'm glad you had a good reminder that we can just take it a small step at a time.
As I sit here, much too late, pouring over which math curriculum to order for two of my six sweeties (seriously, that's what I was doing when I read your post!), I have to admit, I was slightly convicted. You see, what you talked about is exactly, spot on, what the Father has been telling me all year. We're already implementing some "priority changes" around here due to this new revelation, but as it is time to begin thinking about next year, I was beginning to get too caught up in in the academic details again. Thanks for the reminder!
Blessings~
Shyla
Thank you Crystal! My daughter is preschool age (but not in preschool) and in the past I've felt pressure to begin a rigid school time with her. Then I heard the same thing from experienced homeschoolers - to just enjoy this time and teach through life - and I realized (to my relief!) that they were right.
It is such a sweet time we have with these little ones to just teach them about the Lord and life. The textbook work will be here soon enough!
Thank you for the reminder and the encouragement ;)
Stephanie -
My husband has complied a list of links to some of Dr. Baucham's teaching. Here is his blog post.
http://poleblog.polemos.net/2008/04/dr-voddie-baucham.html#links
I know there are many of his lectures, sermons, workshops at various places. This are just a sampling.
Hope this helps someone!
Melanie B
I've been homeschooling for over twenty years, and there are still times when the expectations of others can get to me. I just remind myself that I know my kids better than anyone(except the Lord!!)and I know what works best in our home. Each child is unique, and is ready for academics at their own pace....In the end they come out at the same place, but perhaps happier and more well adjusted for being allowed to learn and explore, rather than have their little heads stuck in a book!
Speaking of priorities, last Sunday at church we went over the story of Mary and Martha. This really spoke to me about prioritizing my life correctly. Mary sat at the feet of Jesus while Martha was upset because she wasn't getting any help in the kitchen. I find myself being Martha all too often.
-Sarah
Thanks for the reminder. I really needed that.
Amen to that! What a beautiful post, Crystal. I think we've all been there. At least I know I have . . . many times. I can get so wrapped up in the curriculum, and others expectations that, at times, I can overlook what really matters. My daughters (5 and 3) are learning from life! They get to enjoy the little every day things that other children may miss out on. What a wonderful blessing it is to be able to teach our own children. Thanks so much for this reminder.
Blessings!
Liz
Crystal I was wondering what you use for making juice drinks for your family. And do you have specific books, or links about juicing and the benefits?
Thanks!
Renee
whew, i'm glad to hear that. watching how much you work with your oldest made me feel guilty about just hanging out with my 2 1/2 year old. we don't do academic work yet but we jump, play, dance, sing, and goof off a lot. thanks for your willingness to share your change of thoughts.
Dr. Baucham was at our church for a "Family Driven Faith" conference just last month. Though his focus was not education, he certainly brought out some of the points you mentioned. It was so encouraging and refreshing to hear what I, as a former school teacher, have been thinking for a long time... that we are over-emphasizing academics to the detriment of raising godly children. I think it borders on idol worship. (I talked about it in a post that I did here.) As for a methods, I have found aspects of "unschooling" as well as the "natural" approach (ala Ruth Beechik) to be helpful in keeping my focus on learning rather than academic "achievement" per se.
But as for raising godly children, I S.T.R.U.G.G.L.E. I am a Christian mom who was not raised in a Christian home, married to a Christian man who was raised in a Christian home that did NOT include purposeful instruction in biblical living. In light of this, I have found motherhood challenging and sometimes discouraging. Knowing that you need to train your children is very different from knowing HOW to train your children. Sometimes, I just think, "I don't know what to do."
That is why I was so thankful for Dr. Baucham's message and for the clear, practical, BIBLICAL instruction he was able to give me and my husband. What a blessing his ministry has been to our family. I'd direct anyone like me, who didn't grow up in a home where Christian parenting was modeled, to read his book or attend one of his conferences!
Just had to get in my shout out to Dr. Baucham. (Sorry for hijacking your comments to do it!)
Crystal,
this was such an encouraging post.
I do lots of the ant watching beater licking stuff but I often feel that my kids are not progressing "fast" enough. We don't do enough letters and stuff.
I was beginning to feel like I needed to kick up teh academics but everytime I do it ends in frustration for everyone.
Thanks for the reminder that raising men (in my case) is much more important that raising academics.
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