The ministry of encouraging words
Amy had some wise words (like usual!) to share last week on how to make the Mommy Wars progress:Let's do this. Next time you see an 18-month-old running around with a bottle, resist the urge to gasp in horror and discuss orthodontics. Try this instead, "You are so patient with your kids. That's awesome." It's a step in the right direction. I have this theory--moms who are not beating themselves up all the time for their deficiencies have more time to research bottles and cups and dentists. (Or concentrate on the stuff of life that really matters.) Look, I don't want you newbie moms--you know I love ya--kicking yourself when you realize how hyper you were. Just calm down now and save yourself the apologies. We moms need to stick together. We can hear each other better when we're building up one another.While there is a time and a place to speak words of exhortation or even reproof, I want to challenge all of you to make an effort to speak words of encouragement to those around you today. Let's be that breath of fresh air to those who are weary and minister grace to everyone we come in contact with.
Read the full post.
"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." (Ephesians 4:29)Excellent posts on the subject of blessing and encouraging others: Not-So-Random Acts of Kindness by Life as Mom and I Want You To Read This by Rocks in My Dryer (an incredibly inspiring testimony of knocking the socks off of someone else!)
What's something someone has done to bless and encourage you recently--maybe it was a kind word, a thoughtful deed, or even just smiling at you? Tell us about it!
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Labels: Encouragement
posted by Crystal Paine at 8:00 AM
13 Comments:
A good friend of mine blessed me just yesterday. She is a homeschooling mom of three who is extremely busy. Yesterday at church we were talking about my oldest son's HS graduation and I was telling her that he didn't want a party so we were just going to go out to dinner with family. Well, she said she had been thinking about offering to help me with a party for him, and that she would help me with a party for my daughter who will be graduating next year. She was so sincere and so wanting to be of service to me. I was soooo blessed because I know how busy she is!
Thank you for this post! I have often been the recipient of other mamas' opinions regarding weaning, potty training, and just about everything else! Thank you for encouraging all of us to give ourselves- and others- a break.
~Kristy @ Homemaker's Cottage
I thought I would share something I recently did for an uncle of mine. He is having some serious medical issues and is awaiting a needed surgery. I know money is very tight for him right now. He does not have a wife or kids to take care of ---it is just him and his home. Anyway--I know he is feeling down in the dumps and he is not a Christian (which bothers me the most) I am constantly telling him he is in our prayers--and my 5 year old is constantly praying for him.
Well the other day my husband was picking on me for our overwelming stuff from CVS--So I did up a giant gift bag of CVS goodies, shaving cream, deoderant, toothbrushes, razor, toothpaste, shampoo.
It felt good to take some of my overstock and bless someone with a little something. I put in it a nice homemade card and reminded him that we are praying for him, whether he believes in God or not. So take some of your overstock and go bless someone!
You know how they say that your children have to grow into adulthood before they rise up and call you blessed. Well, that's not always true. My six year old son told me what a great mom I was. When I asked him what made him say that he replied that it was because I made him and his siblings eat healthy foods. Hmmm... I guess it's been worth it to wait that hour for them to get the salad down sometimes. He knows I do it because I love him. What a relief, even at a young age he can see that I really do have his best interest at heart. I love being a mom!!! Those times of frustration become worth it when you can see the fulfillment of your desired outcome. He really blessed me with those sincere words and believe me, I was encouraged.
Adrienne in OK
My 8 year old daughter blessed me recently by a paragraph she wrote for school. We homeschool and she had to write about what she wanted to be when she grew up . This is what she wrote. " I want to be a homemaker. I want to take care of my children, and serve my husband. I want to make meals and take good care of my family". Wow! I was quite amazed. I do try to talk about what a privilege it is to be a mother and to serve my family, but most of the time I feel like no one is listening. It is such a blessing when you discover that sometimes they really are. listening!
The women from my Sunday School class blessed my family recently.
We were on an 18 hour road trip on our way home after being away for 3 months. I knew we would arrive at 3am so I asked the Lord to stir someone's heart to put a gallon of milk and a box of cereal in my house so we wouldn't have to worry about breakfast that first morning home.
Instead of just 1 gallon of milk and 1 box of cereal, the ladies from my class left us enough food for our family of 8 for a week - including 3 gallons of milk and 3 boxes of cereal!!
Thank you ladies
Michelle
Thanks for the link, Crystal!
What a beautiful post! I've been a long-time advocate of doing away with the Mommy Wars. There are several ways to lovingly raise children. The Bible warns us several times in Proverbs that our tongues are like swords. Our words can either build up a fellow mom or tear her down. I prefer my words build someone up.
The other day at church an older lady passed by me and said, "Oh, I see that God is blessing you with another wee one."
It was sooooo encouraging to me because it reminded me that I am truly blessed. I get so many comments all the time about how busy I will be with 3 little ones and how tired I look, and how on earth are we going to do it (big families are rare in our town) and it was so refreshing to be reminded that kids are gifts.
You never know what someone else's situation is. We adopted our daughter from an overseas orphanage at age 17 months. She was on a bottle until age 2. This was on purpose to promote attachment to us. In the orphanage they just propped up the bottle in her crib with a towel. She needed to have that human contact with mommy giving her a bottle. She was much more like an infant than a toddler.
My own mom frequently sends me cards that read "You are a great mom." That means the world to me!
When my oldest was a fussy infant, an older aunt at a wedding watched me soothe her in the hallway (it wasn't going well!) and remarked, "You sure do handle her beautifully." Amid other comments and advice about her fussiness, this woman found the encouraging words I needed...not about the baby's fussiness, but about my response to my baby.
I find that some mothers are so beaten down that they are self-deprecatory...for example, saying "he is too old for his paci, I know" when they see you simply watching the child. I always try to find a kind word..."Yes, but it looks like you found how to keep him content...he is such a calm boy!"
I know that I am sometimes guilty of withholding encouragement from those I feel are overconfident or proud...and that is just as bad as offering negativity! I'm doing my best lately to encourage everyone I meet...whether I think they are deserving or not! :) Looking for the silver lining, you might say. God is truly good and encouraging comments have been met with such warmth that I am blessed in return. It makes me sad about the times I've let an opportunity go by, for it has truly resulted in some deeper and dearer relationships.
Just got to brag on Crystal for a moment. Ladies, this woman truly practices what she preaches!
This week for my bday, she not only brought me and my kids lunch AND freshly baked banana bread AND delicious rolls to add to our dinner, she also taught school for me while I took a nap, orchestrated a cleaning brigade in our playroom, mopped my wood floors, and cleaned my bathroom!! Talk about blessing me! And there are probably other things that I am forgetting or don't know that she did.
What a blessing! Thank you, Crystal!
What a truly wonderful post, Crystal. Mommy Wars...why do they even exist? It's only the devil trying to split apart the family, God's wonderful creation. The mother is at the heart of a family unit, and if Satan can damage her spirit then he's succeeded in chipping away at the glory a family has to give to God.
A recent kind gesture that someone did for me was tonight. I called up a cheesesteak place a few towns over who actually didn't deliver here. I didn't know that. I'm from Philadelphia originally, so getting a good cheesesteak is darn near impossible for me up this way (PA Dutch country, 2 hrs from the city). This one restaurant does amazing cheesesteaks, and when I told the guy that it was fine they didn't deliver to our town and that I was just a crazy, tired pregnant woman, he said that it was no problem - he'd bring it my way. He even got lost coming here and had to call me for directions, haha, but this sweet man (who was really no more than a young college kid) got lost and went out of his way for a $5 order just to bring a tired pregnant mother a cheesesteak.
God bless the cheesesteak man!
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